#feel guilt that he took some of the KINDEST people i've ever met from this world

[erraticfairymagic]

‎

[mncxbe]

W.oi

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: dazai feels nostalgic/ fluff?

since it's been requested, I wrote a little something for this♡

It's been a few months since you joined the Ada and until today Dazai has managed to keep you arm's length. Strangely enough, it was harder than he expected.

Despite the agonizing guilt you stirred up in him, the brunette found himself oddly drawn to you. Maybe it was your kind smile or the way you carried yourself, or maybe you just reminded him of Oda. Yes, everything about you was a painful reminder of his past, of what he'd done and yet, he allowed himself to get a little bit closer to you.

Oh, and how bitterly he regretted it. A friendly chat here, a mission together there, sharing a drink after work one night- they all led to that moment, to the day you finally discovered his secrets.

It was around 6 p.m and he was about to leave the office when you suddenly popped up behind him.

"Hi Dazai, got any plans tonight?" you asked with that sweet smile of yours that got his head spinning.

"Nothing in particular" he replied nonchalantly.

You beamed, sliding an arm under his "Great then, we're going out for a drink"

Before he got a chance to protest you marched out of the building, dragging him alongside you. Soon enough you made it to your destination, a cozy little underground pub with burnt red brick walls and yellowing rockstar posters, remnants of a decades-old era in Yokohama.

Taking a seat on one of the empty seats at the bar you ordered two glasses of whiskey on ice. The tension between you grew almost palpable with each minute that passed. As you focused your gaze on the amber liquid in the glass your colleague did his best to push the racing thoughts in the back of his mind.

"So..." you eventually spoke up, sliding your thumb over the brim of your glass "I wanted to talk to you about something"

Dipping your hand in the pocket of your coat you procured a folded picture. Dazai's heart dropped as he watched you unfold it, his stomach churning; it was the photo he'd taken at Lupin with Odasaku and Ango all those years ago.

For a few moments you both remained silent as he fumbled for words. "Look, I can explain" he began but you immediately cut him off.

"No, Dazai, you don't need to explain anything. You never mentioned knowing him so I assume you didn't wanna talk about it. I just wanna know one thing."

The man nodded weakly, averting his gaze; he couldn't bear facing you.

"You see, my brother never opened up to me about what he was doing at work. I knew he was involved with some... questionable people, but I've always thought he was a good person." You took a deep breath in and leaned closer, trying to get him to look at you. "I just wanna know what kind of person he really was."

Finally meeting your gaze, Dazai spoke in a weak voice "He was my closest friend, the kindest person I've ever known..." Once those words left his lips he couldn't stop talking; memories resurfaced, spilling from him like news on the radio. You listened carefully to his speech, punctuated only by occasional sighs and sips from his glass, and nodded.

He told you everything, from the day they met and how their friendship progressed, to the conflict with Mimic that led to his untimely death.

"He had this ideal, you know, never to kill anyone. He wanted to write a book at some point and thought that murderers had no right to talk or write about life, to create something beautiful with hands that bear the blood of other people." Raising the glass to his lips, Dazai downed the rest of his drink, the alcohol burning the back of his throat as he swallowed.

"I see... He does sound like a wonderful person" A faint smile tugged at your lips "Thanks for telling me everything"

"No problem. It was good to finally talk to someone about it. I would appreciate if you didn't mention this to the others tho"

You gave him a reassuring nod, holding your little finger out in front of him. "I won't, Dazai. Pinky promise. "

The brunette chuckled, locking his finger with yours as he held your gaze. "I'll trust you on that and please, call me Osamu from now on"

[levbug]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐔𝐒 — 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐢.

#pairings ー pro hero! midoriya izuku x gender neutral! reader (slight izuchaco)

#warnings ー  terrible angst lmao (this is my first lolol). also, did i name this after a meme? y e s

#wc ー 2.1k

the heels of your formal shoes clicked against the linoleum tiles, echoing softly around the empty hallways. you much rather preferred this peace and quiet as opposed to the loud and energetic home of the wedding goers outside. they were beginning to give you a migraine with all the excitement and happiness that they radiated. that, and the overpowering scent of overpriced perfume and leather shoes.

you hummed quietly to yourself, leisurely making your way down the hall. the bride and groom's rooms were just about here, if you remembered correctly. you chuckled softly as you heard the loud squeals from one of the rooms, presumably from the bride and her bridesmaids, which only confirmed your assumptions.

you were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't hear the faint creaking of the old wooden door, nor the hand that shot out to grab your wrist.

your training at u.a and had given you exceptional strength and reaction time, but whoever had grabbed you was at least ten times stronger. you thrashed and struggled as much as you could, hoping your captor would lose their grasp over you, but to no avail. their grip only tightened.

"calm down, will you?" a soft voice whispered in your ear. a smile formed on your face at the familiar voice, and you immediately stopped trying to land blows on him.

"izuku!" you exclaimed, wrapping your arms around him. the taller boy returned your hug, nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. you did the same, relishing his familiar cologne and the way his unruly hair, despite it having been gelled, tickling your cheeks gently.

"i missed you." he mumbled, bringing you closer. "i've missed you, too, big guy, but uh—" you wheezed, tapping his shoulder to tell him he was holding you too tight. he let go of immediately, shyly scratching his pink tinted cheeks. his hand was still on your waist, as if he didn't want to let go of you, but you didn't say anything.

"s-so, how are you?" he asked awkwardly, trying to look you in the eye but failing to do so, instead opting to stare at the space behind you.

you smiled at the sudden shift in his demeanor, finding it endearing. even after all these years—even though izuku had grown more confident in himself, he was still that same shy boy you met in middle school all those years ago. it was nice to see that the fame and money hadn't gotten to his head, unlike some other heroes who had let their ego grow too big for their own good.

"i'm doing wonderful, izuku!" half-lie. you could have been doing better, if you were being honest, but now didn't seem like the time to tell him that. "how about you, 'zuku? seems you've gone and gotten yourself a wife!" you took his calloused hand gently from your waist, rubbing your thumb across the scars that had marked him over the years. though he had learned to control his quirk, it seemed that he still went 'plus ultra' at times.

you stared at the man before you, smiling at his flustered state. he was dressed in a suit and tie, since they had decided on a western-themed wedding. he looked extremely attractive, albeit a little uncomfortable in the formal clothing, you had to admit, all with his unruly hair contrasting his pressed clothing.

midoriya cleared his throat, moving his hand away from your waist. you were slightly disappointed, but didn't say anything, nor did you show it. "uh, well, future wife." he corrected, chuckling softly. "though, not that it really matters." midoriya began to mutter. "ochaco's gonna be my wife in a few hours anyway, so there's basically no difference. oh my goodness, i'm going to be a married man in less than a few hours! i don't think i can handle that!would i even be a good husband? i think we should call off the wedding—"

"woah, buddy, calm down." you held the now-hyperventilating midoriya by the shoulders, helping him to sit on one of the nearby couches. the apple of his cheeks were now a bright red, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly with each breath he took. your mouth formed a small slant as you frowned.

"i don't think i can do this, (first name)." he said, tears trailing slowly down his cheek. "i don't think i can carry on with this? what if ochaco suddenly decides she doesn't want to marry me? what if we aren't as perfect for each other as we thought?" he turned to you, green eyes wide and frantic.

as much as it pained you to see midoriya end up with someone else, it hurt you more to hear him doubting himself. midoriya was one of the bravest, kindest, and most considerate people you knew, and to see him in such a vulnerable position just reminded you that even the greatest people had their insecurities.

"oh, 'zuku." you sighed, resting your forehead on his suit clad shoulder. he smelled faintly of aftershave and like flowers, which you hadn't noticed previously. midoriya nuzzled his face into your neck out of habit, the moisture of his tears gathering on your nape.

"i know you may not see it yourself, but you're truly wonderful, izuku. ochaco's one lucky gal to have snatched you up." you chuckled softly, ignoring the bitter taste in your mouth. "i don't understand how you can doubt yourself, 'zuku. you're so brave, and kindhearted, and you've always put others before yourself. you're literally made of hubby material." you felt the low rumbling of midoriya chuckling against your collarbone, the sound alone bringing a small smile to your face. "and if you seriously think that ochaco would leave you, bakugou might have hit you harder than necessary."

midoriya had begun laughing now, removing his face from your neck. his previously sorrowful and anxious eyes were now twinkling with amusement. you smiled at the sight, glad to have been of service.

"thanks, (nickname), i really appreciate that." he chuckled breathlessly, holding your hand between his. you felt your cheeks warm at the way your hand seemed to mold perfectly in his, as if the world was mocking you, saying 'this man could have been yours.' you two sat in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

"you know," midoriya spoke after a while. "i used to have the biggest crush on you." he admitted with a light blush on his cheeks. you cocked your head to the side, slightly confused. midoriya continued. "to be honest, i only ever accepted ochaco's confession because i thought i never had a chance with you, as bad as it sounds."

if you didn't the universe was playing with your feelings before, you were sure that it was now. "o-oh?" you choked out. "why'd you think that you didn't have a chance with me?"

ever since you had met midoriya on your first day at u.a, you had been attracted to him instantly. his shy yet determined personality just drew you in, like a moth to a flame. for years you had desperately hoped that he would one day confess that he returned your feelings, and even went as far to wait for him even after your graduation. but it never came.

until today, it seems. on his wedding day.

the irony of it all pained your heart. here was the moment you'd been fantasizing of since you were a first year at u.a, but it didn't go as you had expected. you didn't feel the butterflies that you had expected to feel. you didn't hear the birds singing. you didn't feel sickeningly in love. you just felt sick.

"i don't know," midoriya sighed, leaning back in his seat. he ran a hand through his curly green hair, mussing it up even more. "i guess i just thought you were always too good for me." inwardly, you screamed at your past selves for being the densest humans on earth. "that, and whenever i came near you, bakugou would always stare daggers at me." he chuckled awkwardly.

you disregarded his last comment, sitting rigidly beside midoriya. your eyes burned with tears that couldn't seem to fall, and your heart was beating irregularly slow in your chest. there was a weight on your shoulders that made you feel like you were carrying the entire world's burdens on your shoulders, alone.

"(first name)?" midoriya placed a hand on your knee, looking at you with concern. he stared at you with those damned green eyes. the same green eyes that you had fallen in love with. the same green eyes that you had spent nights thinking of. the same green eyes that stared back at you as if he hadn't just confessed his past feelings for you. "are you okay? you're looking a little pale."

"i-i'm fine." you tried to smile, but you couldn't find it in you. it was so selfish of you, to be honest. this was another woman's groom, and here you were about to cry because he had returned the feelings that you had assumed were unrequited? 'that's real shallow.' you reprimanded yourself.

"are you sure?" he tilted his head innocently to the side, looking like a cute puppy. you stood abruptly, unable to handle to pain in your chest. unfortunately, you were feeling a bit woozy and swayed a little as you rose to your feet. "hey, why don't you sit down? i can go get you some water—"

"i said i'm fine!" you snapped, pushing his hand away from you. the hurt look that flashed across midoriya's face made guilt envelope your entire being. "i'm sorry. i suddenly got very dizzy, is all." you lied.

midoriya pursed his lips into a thin line. he knew you well enough to know that you were lying. still, he didn't say anything, knowing it would get you nowhere if he forced you to tell him the problem. "are you sure? can i get you water, at least?”

you shook your head, eyes not meeting his. "it's alright, izuku. we've got to go now anyways, it's almost time for your wedding." you said with a small smile. it didn't quite seem right, though, midoriya noted. it didn't seem to reach your eyes.

"o-oh, right!" he scratched the back of his head, checking the time on his watch. he noticed your stiff movements as you hastily scrambled out of the room, muttering a small, "good luck, izuku." on your way out. he could only call out for your name as you stepped out of the door, not knowing why you had suddenly gotten so strange. was it something he had said?

you watched with tear filled eyes as uraraka slowly made her way down the aisle, the ever present blush on her cheeks made more prominent as she made eye contact with her groom. she was dressed in an elegant white gown, her short brown hair styled flatteringly around her face.

you snuck a glance at the groom, who had glassy eyes as he watched the love of his life make her way towards him. a small pang of hurt echoed in your chest as you watched him take her hand in his, just as he hand done with you just a few minutes previously. you bit your lip to suppress the low cry that threatened to escape.

the rest of the ceremony went by in a blur for you. the words of the officiant barely registering in your brain. you were too busy imagining that it was you standing with midoriya at the altar. that instead of uraraka, you were the one holding his scarred hands, staring into his eyes lovingly and giving small shy smiles if you would catch the eye of some of the guests that you had invited.

but you were launched back into reality as the officiant called out for any objections. you were tempted to raise your hand and profess your love for the green haired pro-hero, but held out, knowing you'd not only ruin your friendship with him, but also your friendship with uraraka, who was beaming with joy as everyone stayed silent. you loved midoriya, but you treasured uraraka just as much.

your tears seemed to finally be able to flow freely as you watched midoriya cup uraraka's cheek gently, as if she were the most fragile thing in the world and one wrong move could destroy her. you looked around to see that you weren't the only one crying. though, you were sure you were the only one crying for your own selfish reason, as opposed to the other guests who were crying from the sweetness of the now-married couple.

a lump was caught in your throat as the two newlyweds descended down the aisle, the green haired man catching your eye briefly. the only thing that echoed in your mind as he looked away was the reminder that it could have been you walking with him.