#feel free to specify which muse you want them sent to if you're a multi

[twilightterror]

drop a like on this and I'll send you some inbox memes!

[aloneinxthenight]

M*A*S*H starters

memes from the 4077th

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL: Here we have a compendium of sentences from a show that is known as one of the best television shows of all time. This was not a request, I do not do requests for starter lists. I was legitimately just watching M*A*S*H and thought the world would be much better with another starter list from it. Feel free to add names and change pronouns as needed, if you wanna add any zingers from the show yourself, don't hesitate! Since M*A*S*H is a military type show, I tried to get as many sentences that could apply to everyone as possible. There's some angst, a whole lot of humor and a few one-liners in here which took hours of watching (such hard work) to compile so enjoy! And if you're sending any one of these tongue-tingling phrases to a multi-muse blog, please specify the muse!

I had a hamster back home who used to get the same look in his eyes when he wasn't feeling good.

Except for your face, your mind and your body, you're a complete dud.

Should we ask some people in or should we just be boring on our own?

Oh, I never do. If I keep washin' them they stay clean forever.

She was in here before, with me, alone.

Maybe it was her perfume... Maybe it was mine.

Do me a favor _______, if you find out I've died, just leave me lying there in the crabgrass.

At least my mouth is still working.

Oh hey, I was there. The army was cleaning out Lincoln's nose.

What do you miss the most about back home?

Well we couldn't finish it anyway, _______ confiscated the best parts.

Almost lifelike.

You wish each of us a prostitute?

He could sell brass knuckles to Gandhi.

How could he be alive like that one second then dead the next?

I could give you a lot of medical reasons but... understanding doesn't make it less painful.

We got to be friends in just a few hours!

Friends don't need any more.

Gee, I hope I don't cry...

When was the last time you felt like crying?

_______ is an expert on fits.

Do I hear ten? Sold to the grim reaper in the third row.

You bought the garbage?

Well, you said get a hobby!

I thought we'd give _______ an appropriate aloha.

Beautiful! Beautiful! A Tintoretto in barf!

I had dreams like this all through puberty...

I didn't see any of it, but I loved it.

That's my garbage!

No, no, that's my garbage, _______, I have a receipt!

I don't kiss and tell... it was terrific.

Ali "Babble" to the end, aren't ya?

How'd you like a grenade in your truss?

Besides my life, _______ wants my virginity.

We all do.

If only I'd known!

He wrote in big letters, "Know your Enema."

Your fly is open.

Don't leave your unopen mail around.

I know you're not giggling because you're wearing feathered underwear, you just can't wait to park your can behind this desk.

Have a good time and, uh, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

I don't know that I'd want to do anything you would do.

Of course, God wasn't surrounded by a bunch of flakes.

I object to the word weird!

You see, I told you it was a war! But no, you keep saying we're both dreaming!

What do you think you're doing wearing civilian underpants?!

Is nothing sacred? These happen to be my mothers!

I'm here to discuss something besides underwear.

My mother always said two things: Never argue with crazy people and always wear clean underwear.

_______, your sanity's sprung a leak.

I think it's going very well, don't you?

It'll never happen... Probably.

Oh, I just figured if a priest could be tempted, that's the type of stuff he'd steal.

What are you looking for, _______?

His marbles.

Are you with him, or are you independently crazy?

The eyes always give the guilty away. The windows to the soul.

Don't tell me he sleeps with you.

I'm hoping to do better.

I knew I should have ripped the stuffin's out of the little bugger when I had the opportunity...

It was one of those days that more than most, reminds us all that war, however much we may enjoy it, is no strawberry festival.

Saving lives is my business, mister.

Was that a bomb?

Uh, no, _______ Someone's playing the WWII album!

You can either help the wounded or become one.

You beat the rap, Babyface!

Lovely place, Bellevue.

"Hold your potatoes..."

I'll probably develop an urge to walk on the water.

Isn't that where the Austrailian nurse scratched you?

Only because I wanted to go home in her pouch.

I patched that months ago.

It's talent, pure talent.

Mmm, sounds serious. You may be coming down with mental health.

It's not a death wish, is it?

You're not the self-destructive type.

You suppose any of us will speak English again?

Perhaps his arms will get tired.

I never sleep in the hospital.

Now they're sending me back.

I think I need less luck back here.

Gee, you're a nice guy.

I used to get hit if I wasn't.

Should I be hearing Arthur Godfrey?

I know you're working but I just wanted to say thanks.

I hope I never see you again, ya know?

I came, I saw, I bored.

Completely forgettable looks that stay with you forever.

Sounds like we're getting into flashback country.

________'s too sharp for that, he always leaves a trail of breadcrumbs.

If I didn't see her every hour, I got the bends.

I know you were young but you must have had names.

Look at that. Talent. I'm not just a pretty face.

You're weird.

Give the little lady a cigar.

Dinner here is around 7. Nausea's around 8.

You have your choice: Gin or gin?

It's pure poison.

We think so.

How do I look?

A little thinner, a little paler. A few gray hairs.

These aren't mine, I'm breaking in a friend's senility.

How do you stand on the subject of sitting?

Children? No, I'm still my only child.

You're trying too hard. Are you uncomfortable?

There's been no one since you.

I had to survive.

Right. Here's to survival.

I'm just afraid of your voice giving me frostbite.

Hurt? You broke my legs. It really tore me apart when you left me.

I got over the hate but I never got over the love.

Oh! Master complicator.

God forbid anything should ever be easy.

"Be myself", You said! Well, myself happens to love you.

Oh, now I understand. Since we're in love there's no possible reason for us to be together!

You've just proposed yourself into a corner!

I just don't want to take a backseat again. I like it up front.

If anybody asks, I turned you down. Yeah?

If it's a police action, why didn't they send cops?

I'm not over here because I'm such a fan of diarrhea!

Can the balloon juice, _______!

How do you keep all that stuff in your head?

Man, seein' the way you guys work makes me proud every time I throw up.

One more word and I'll button your lip to your fly.

Amazing what can get stuck in the human body.

I just know how hard it is to operate and be secretary of state at the same time.

Everybody's got a buddy in there.

Look we'll keep you posted, let you know if it's a boy or a girl.

Hey, would you like some Jeep butter?

I've just heard something very disturbing and if it's true then I'm afraid I'll have to fight you.

When I was five, I had a crying fit because they wouldn't let me have a crew cut.

Uglier than rats mating in my duffel bag?

I worked my way through divinity school as a "B" girl in San Diego.

I smell something burning.

The laundry's on fire.

_______ I don't know how to tell you this, but I've had a better offer.

Take me with you.

Just wanted to thank you for staying.

Some of their saltier comments had been deleted.

The dictionary. I figure it's got all the other books in it.

The only thing that's not green is the blood.

I suppose they do and that gets to be a pain in the ass too.

I'd like it to happen to me to break up the boredom.

That's on the Hungarian side of town.

Well, do you see anything good coming out of this?

There's always terror to fall back on.

Oh, so that's what it's like to have a bomb explode a few feet away from me.

I stopped having morale about six months ago.

You know, I used to love reading Hemingway because he wrote so well.

I guess I got a little drunk.

Uh "a lot" is a relative term.

If I knew all the answers, I'd run for God.

Pistachio ice cream... And bananas.

She squeezes your nose.

Some people heard the screaming and said, "That sounds just like Eleanor Roosevelt!"

I'd like to take six to seven months and become unconscious.

And then I'd like to go to Europe and sleep there for a year.

I had to come over here to be a star!

The nearest one is over in Grange Hall in uh, Mooseville. About 50 miles away.

Oh, I don't have to say hello, I know how everybody feels about me.

No, I think she doesn't like me. I mean that's the only conclusion I can draw.

He could have at least called me a son of a bitch. He's done it for others.

Heads up!

No talking in rank!

He's a magician with latrines and cesspools.

Don't tell me not to say anything.

He's brighter than I thought.

Garbage head.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

♫ I love to go swimmin' with bow-legged women and swim between their legs. ♫

Wounded come before personal chafing.

Oh give him a break, Alice, you're the first woman he's seen in months.

You always give me the cuties.

He owes me, I sent him a case of Preparation H.

Just don't sit on anything cold.

Okay guys, time to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud.

He'll punch my arm.

Wear your heavy sweater.

My God, now I'm talking like you.

That watch you sold me runs backward!

I can't stand that pimply voice.

That is Grade A 100% bull cookies!

Never doubt your X-ray or your hairdresser.

Too bad this kid didn't come with a zipper.

Why didn't I shoot my foot and stay in Honolulu?

Don't get upset, just eat your carrot slowly.

Your nostrils are flaring.

My nostrils have a right to flare, I'm in charge.

You tell him if he takes this chair, my tuchus will attack him barehanded.

The permanent verticle smile. Famed in song and story?

I'm starvin'. I'd even settle for one of _______'s armpit sandwiches.

Oh, you finally realized I have a beautiful body.

I've never seen your body!

If you need me, I'll be packing up my troubles in my old kit bag.

No, but I was always prepared.

_______ when all this is over, I'm gonna adopt you.

Come on, Pokey!

There are sequins all over the ground!

Me, scared? This whole body is one white knuckle.

I'll have the shoelaces, house dressing. And have the chef remove the laces.

There's a lady on my foot.

Oh, miss, this probably isn't your table but could you scratch the back of my knee?

Would I deny you a belch?

Oh to be in England now that war is here.

Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.

Please excuse these two, they're themselves today.

The men hate me, don't they?

_______, you are a gentleman and a lady.

Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there?

Standby for the blessing.

Standby for the blessing!

STANDBY FOR THE BLESSING!

Nothing comes after Amen.

Looks like an abandoned schoolhouse.

Look in the boxes marked kitchen utensils.

Concubines? In a schoolhouse?

Oh no, I love that after church on toast.

That's not your dress! I'll kill ya!

But my blue chiffon is from Murdoch's in Toledo!

_______, that's the finest act of bravery I've ever witnessed.

I don't sleep well on a soft wall.

The weather's clear. I can see the stars.

Oh, thank you comrade, and get me some borscht. Easy on the sour cream.

_______ stop that!

Give him a smooth ride.

I'm gonna be ravaged, I know it!

Tell 'em you're with me.

I was overrun by a batch of bimbos!

It tickled but I kinda liked it.

And midnight has been canceled.

You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.

Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour.

50 more pounds, and I'm homeward-bound!

I call it "Suicide by Salami"!

You're always wrong, _______. That's what's so right about you.

Live! That's an order!

I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out.

How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. It's a recurring nightmare with popcorn.

Act like a man, you sniveling twerp!

I was born with someone waiting to see me.

Why don't you guys like me?

Because you're a lousy _______ and a rotten person.

Well, there's your pimples.

My pores won't close!

I've been up and down on a merry-go-round since I got here!

I've barely slept a wink!

It's not just big, it's great big with whipped cream!

You shouldn't mention _______'s chest when it's not here to stand up for itself.

Thank you, Daddy Warbucks.

Well, for your information, I've never had any complaints.

Dead men tell no tales.

I know the diamond's not so big, it's a family heirloom.

Must be a small family.

I keep pinching myself to see if I'm dreaming.

I'm engaged to be married!

He sleeps on a bare piece of plywood.

I couldn't love anyone who didn't outrank me.

Are you sure you're not rushing into this in the heat of... Whatever heat you might be in?

This ole cowboy ain't gonna be lonesome tonight.

He's busy tuning his face.

My student council could have used someone like her.

I thought this was going to be a fun meeting.

Get ready to duck, he's liable to explode.

Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?

If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover.

Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch.

You'd be surprised what a priest can get away with.

Hear ye, Hear ye, it's 0700 and all is hell.

Remove your hand or I'll zap you with my knee.

He touched me.

What a physique! Shoulders like this! Dancers legs and cute little behind!

_______ there'll be no more chinny chin chin. Or any other part of me.

Uh oh, he took his gun and his toothbrush.

Shooting his mouth off again?

Son, heroics just get people killed. They don't impress anybody.

Well, you see I had this friend... And this friend just pretended to like me. You know, the way Dad used to?

They're not pagans, _______. Everyone's going to be wearing clothes.

Oh my God! They've shot him!

Did _______ steal that jeep?

I didn't even know you were gone. I thought you were in the bathroom.

Maybe some people like having other people run their lives, but some people don't.

Oh, stop dreaming a go back to sleep!

I don't remember leaving a wake-up scream.

_______ do me a favor will ya? Visit me a couple hundred times will ya?

Can't you see I can't see?

I wore this with just you in mind.

I heard the hair on your legs rustling.