#feel free to offer a kind word instead and I'll say think you kindly

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine dating Exo's Kai and being Asexual

You were a member of Twice and got put on a campaign with Exo's Kai. You of course knew of each other from the idol world but had never worked together closely before. You didn't expect to get along so well with him but you did. He was an amazing worker but also just such a nice person! He was funny and kind. You were actually sad when the session ended but then Kai asked you out. You said yes not really thinking but then began to panic.

One of the hottest sexiest men in the idol industry was taking you, an asexual woman, out on a date.

"I have to cancel" you told your member and Jeongyeon shook her head "Y/n calm down!". "No this is Kai! One of the sexiest idols to ever exist. How can I go on a date with him when I'll never want to use his most sellable feature". "Well maybe you'll get a discount for less usage?" Sana joked but you weren't in the mood. "Be serious Sana!" you scolded her and she laughed "come on Y/n, people aren't like products where you have to use all their features to maintain quality. You liked Kai and he never made crude remarks or passes at you before. That's why you felt comfortable saying yes to him". "Yes but this is different now. We're on a date!". "So? That doesn't mean you owe him anything. Going on a date or being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you have to sleep with them" Nayeon said and all the girls nodded. You sighed "I know that but still people expect it and I'm not sure if I can face the rejection and stares". Your member sighed and hugged you "Y/n...you don't have to tell Kai you're asexual tonight or any other night before you're ready. You can always take this slow and sus him out before deciding if you tell him or not. But if you don't feel comfortable going then by all means cancel" Jihyo said. "Sus him out?" you asked and she nodded "yeah. You had a good feeling about him right so he seems like a pretty good person who might deserve a chance. You can judge his behaviour tonight and see if you want to see him again. Maybe find out what his past relationships were like or more about him. Go from there". You nodded "that doesn't sound too scary". Your members all smiled, all offering you words of encouragement. "It won't be. You get to decide how full on the date is. Nobody else" Jeongyeon told you and you nodded.

So with the pep talk you were feeling better, your members made you realise you had just as much power and hadn't agreed to anything. Nayeon dropped you off for your date and Dahyun, Momo and Tzuyu came along for the ride. They all promised to have their phones on all night and could be at the restaurant in 15 minutes if you needed them. Needless to say, you felt very loved and supported as you walked into the restaurant. You were still nervous but Kai was really sweet and treated you kindly. You had been worried about nothing in some respects. Kai didn't suddenly change on the date. He didn't start leering at you or trying to grab you. He was pretty much the same as he was before. At the end of the night, there was a slightly awkward pause where he clearly wondered if to try for a kiss but you hugged him instead and he seemed happy with that. Even asking if you were free next weekend to do it again. You said yes and set a date to go bowling.

Part of you was anxious it had gone well. Atleast if it had gone badly you could've cut him off and wouldn't have to risk getting rejected. However, because it went well you wanted to see him again and that brought you one step closer to having more intimate conversations and the inevitable coming out you'd have to do. After tonight you didn't think Kai would scream at you or laugh in your face. If he did decide it wasn't compatible for him you were pretty sure he'd do it gently and with a cautious approach which while annoyingly patronising and pathetic was better than an acephobic ass. But you told yourself a second date was still okay to not tell him and then a third...and maybe a fourth. Until before you knew it you'd been on five dates. You hadn't told him you were asexual and the most that had happened physically was a quick kiss goodnight. This was all fine to you and exactly what a relationship should be but it was very different to Kai's past relationships so he began to wonder if something was wrong.

He got back from his date and his members all greeted him. "Hey Romeo how was the date?" Suho asked while Sehun enquired about the food. Kai nodded "yeah it was nice" and they paused. "Nice?" Chen asked and Kai nodded "yeah I'm just not sure if it's a date or not". Baekhyun laughed "how aren't you sure? You asked her out and she said yes". "I know it's technically a date but I don't know if Y/n is trying to tell me she'd prefer to be friends" he admitted. "Why?" Chanyeol asked and Kai took a breath "she just doesn't initiate things with me. I know she might just not be too physical a person but I can't help but wonder if there's a reason she doesn't want to touch me. Maybe she's not attracted to me?". The guys all thought that seemed silly considering pretty much every girl was into Kai. "How can't you tell if she likes you?" Sehun asked "does she not seem enthusiastic when you have sex?". "We haven't slept together" Kai said "only kissed...once". The guys all nodded, that seeming a little different to their relationships. "Maybe she's just moving slowly?" Lay asked. Kai nodded "that's what I'm hoping but I don't know". "Well you know the best way to find out don't you?" Chanyeol said "ask her!". Kai had a feeling it would come to that and nodded his head "yeah I figured that'd be the solution". Suho patted him "nobody likes asking the other person what they are but it's the only way you'll get an answer and stop wondering". Kai nodded his head and promised the next time he saw you he'd ask what this was.

For your next date, you'd planned to go to a show and then some bars afterwards. However, Kai knew that wasn't the best place for a DTR talk and so he asked if he could have a quick chat with you when he picked you up. You said yes and invited him into your home, anxious about what he wanted to talk to you about. You'd guessed he wasn't happy with the lack of physicality in your relationship but the girls had managed to calm you down and encouraged you to wait until Kai told you what it was about...but when he started your worst fears seemed to be coming true.

Kai smiled at you awkwardly and then began "so erm I was just wondering what we are...are we dating?". Your heart began to speed up but you nodded "I thought we were...did you?". Kai nodded "yes I did I just...Y/n do you like me?". You nodded "of course I do! What made you think I didn't?". "Because you never made a move to kiss me and seemed to tense anytime I move to". You immediately looked down and Kai misinterpreted your inner struggle for a confession. You shook your head "no Kai that wasn't because of you" but he didn't believe you. "It's fine if you're not attracted to me we can just be friends". You paused unsure if to explain yourself or go along with it. Kai seemed pretty happy for an out so you sighed. "Okay, we can be friends". Kai smiled "great! I see no reason to cancel our plans so how about we still go?". So you swallowed the disappointment in your stomach and smiled "let's go!".

You went to the show and managed to keep a big smile on your face...until the second you got home. Chaeyoung asked how the date went and you burst into tears telling them it was over. The girls all swarmed and surrounded you in a circle of love. "What happened?" Mina asked and when you didn't respond Jihyo got suspicious. "He found out didn't he? He broke up with you because you're...". You couldn't let her finish that sentence and nodded crying more. "Asshole!" Momo cried "there's so much more to a relationship than sex". The girls all nodded "to dump a perfect girl just because she doesn't want you touching her..." Dahyun spat looking the angriest you'd ever seen her. "It's his loss" Sana said firmly "and we will never let him forget it". You knew you hadn't told the truth and had painted Kai in a bad light but you were too hurt to think about that. You just wanted the ground to swallow you up and gave yourself over to your friends' comfort.

In the weeks that followed your Twice members were like armed guards in the way they protected you. One of them was always with you and they constantly tried to make you feel better, showing you love and complimenting you. Not in a patronising way, just that they knew your confidence had taken a knock and wanted to help restore it. They were careful of you at shows, always checking you were okay and making sure you knew you could leave if you had to. Then there were the moments they'd see Exo.

Anytime you saw Kai it brought back all those feelings of being unwanted and wrong so you hadn't spoken to him since. You hadn't replied to any of his messages and kept your eyes firmly on the ground anytime he was around you. The girls noticed Kai watching you, confused why you'd gone so quiet and looked so upset, and they were not happy about it. All the girls would outwardly glare at him and once Kai had moved to walk past you on stage and Jihyo had physically blocked him. "Can I get past?" he asked her and she shook her head "go around" and she looked at him with so much hate Kai obeyed. It was weird because his members hadn't noticed anything different in the way the Twice girls were acting so it was just to him. Kai figured it must be to do with you but he couldn't think of anything he'd said or done before that was bad. You'd wanted to just be friends right? You were the one who wasn't attracted to him. Still, if Kai had offended you he wanted to know so he decided to get to the bottom of it.

He saw Nayeon chatting with Baekhyun at the bar and came over. She spotted him approaching and frowned but she didn't have her drink so couldn't leave. "Hi!" he smiled and Baekhyun smiled at him but Nayeon turned away. "Nayeon" Kai called "how are you?". "Fine thank you" she replied and Kai saw Baekhyun notice the transformation the second Kai came over. Spurred on by the clear fact he wasn't imagining this Kai continued. "Are you and the girls having a good night?". Nayeon shook her head "you've got some nerve mentioning her to me". Kai paused "who? Y/n". Nayeon laughed "typical! Pretend you don't remember what you did to her". Kai froze "I...what? You mean asking her to be friends? She agreed to it". "Yeah only after you rejected her for being asexual!". Kai blinked "I'm sorry? She's what?". Nayeon stared at him and then her eyes widened "you don't know...didn't she tell you?". Kai shook his head "no I said I suspected she wasn't attracted to me and told her we could just be friends if she wasn't, she agreed and then never spoke to me again. She's asexual?". Nayeon nodded and Kai sighed as it all made sense "but she thinks I rejected her?". Again Nayeon nodded and Kai frowned "I have to speak with her" but Nayeon shook her head "wait, let me see her first" and she rushed away.

Nayeon found you with Tzuyu and Mina and when you saw her expression you knew it wasn't good. "So I just spoke to Kai" she said "he had no idea you were asexual". "What?" Tzuyu and Mina said and Dahyun and Jihyo appeared seeing something was happening. "What's up?" Jihyo asked and you frowned "I might've not been too specific about what happened with me and Kai". "Y/n you said he broke it off because you were incompatible" Nayeon said. "Well I might've exaggerated" you admitted "he just started questioning things and suggested we could be friends instead and I went along with it instead of explaining everything to him". "But why?" Dahyun asked and you shrugged "it just seemed easier than opening myself up for him to reject me". "But you didn't know he would reject you" Mina said and you looked at her "didn't I?". Your members all shook their heads and Jihyo spoke first "while I'm so mad at you for lying to me I feel it's my duty to tell you Kai is on his way over here right now!".

You turned and saw Kai was indeed on his way over. He looked concerned and confused and you felt a mix of panic and shame. "Hey" he said when he realised you were all looking at him "if this is a good time could we please talk?" he asked you. Jihyo grabbed your hand and looked at you, clearly asking if you wanted to go. You nodded to her and Tzuyu told you the outside area was empty.

Kai led you outside and it had just stopped raining leaving a nice gleam over the ground, you stared at the puddles unsure what to say. "So...Nayeon explained some things to me, Y/n I'm so sorry if you thought I rejected you. I wasn't doing that". You shrugged "it's okay...we weren't compatible anyway". "See that's the thing, why didn't you tell me you were asexual?" Kai asked and you shrugged "I guess I didn't want to get rejected for it. I've never actually tried dating before because I've been too scared and I figured bowing out would be less painful than failing at it". Kai shook his head "Y/n breaking up with someone incompatible with you isn't a failure. It's a victory and is smart. Staying with someone just for the sake of it is losing". You nodded "yeah I guess...". wondering why he was trying to spin his rejection into a positive. "It can only get easier from here hey?" you offered. Kai froze seeing your sad expression "wait Y/n I wasn't talking about us when I said incompatible ". "You weren't?" you asked and Kai shook his head. "No! I'm actually not sure what our compatibility would be but I know being ace is not a deal breaker for me". "It's not?" you asked and Kai shook his head "no of course not! I'd like to talk about the specifics more to understand what you're comfortable with and see if our wants and expectations match but I'd never not try with someone just because they're ace".

So you and Kai discussed everything. What you'd be comfortable doing with him and wouldn't, what you'd be fine with him doing and not doing, any grey areas or things the other would appreciate. You were honestly stunned. While Kai didn't need your body in a sexual way he did request physical intimacy in the form of comfort. He liked to spoon and cuddle at night. He wanted to be able to hold your hand or put his arm around your waist and hold you close. These were all rather sweet things that you didn't mind doing at all. "Are you sure that's all you need?" you asked Kai "this won't work if you lie about your needs or expect me to change". Kai shook his head "I swear I'm being honest Y/n...do would you like to give this a go?". You nodded feeling terrified but also kind of excited.

You returned hand in hand with Kai and all your members were beaming. He sat with you and your girls for the rest of the night and when you left for the night he gave you a quick kiss goodbye and promised to call you tomorrow. You didn't stop smiling the whole way home and neither did your members.

You'd told Kai he could tell his members you were ace but so far he hadn't. Not because he was hiding it just because he wasn't sure how to bring it up. Most people just assumed all relationships were allosexual so it wasn't easy to explain it wasn't without seemingly bringing it up randomly.

Kai waited and then finally one night, after the guys had a few drinks, they started talking about their sex lives and Sehun made a comment about how you must be loving Kai's hips. Seeing his moment, Kai shook his head "I wouldn't know actually. Y/n and I don't sleep together". The guys all froze. "But I thought you said you worked everything out and she was into you?" Chanyeol asked. Kai nodded "yeah but she's asexual". Some of the guys seemed to know what that meant while others didn't. "She doesn't experience sexual attraction and so for her sex is pointless. So we don't do it" he explained. "So what do you do together instead?" Chen asked. "We don't do anything instead" Kai "we're a completely ordinary couple just without that part". "So without the fun part?" Baekhyun asked and Kai frowned "actually Baek that's pretty acephobic. Being with Y/n's made me realise how there's so much more to life than sex and comments like that just make asexual people feel even more alienated". "Shit I'm so sorry" Baekhyun said and Kai assured him it was alright. "There's honestly a whole world of shit she's had to deal with just because she doesn't want to have sex" Kai said "we don't even realise". The guys all nodded and then had a full discussion about the over-sexualisation of society and women in general.

You had no idea Kai had told Exo you were asexual but the next time you saw them it was pretty obvious. You were meeting Kai at the Exo house and he told you just to let yourself in. So you did that and the second you were through the door they all rushed to tell you everything they'd learned about asexuality and it was the most beautiful thing ever. "I've started telling people I'm allosexual" Baekhyun said "people just assume you are so I'm trying to show them there's alternatives". "That's so great Baekhyun" you smiled and then Sehun rushed to tell you he'd bought an ace badge. "I was watching a tv show and there was an asexual character!" Chanyeol told you and Chen had discussed asexuality with his wife and had agreed not to put any heteronormative expectations on your kids. You found yourself tearing up and the guys wondered if they'd done something wrong. "Y/n we didn't mean to make you sad" Lay said and you shook your head "no I'm not sad I'm just so happy...having a dad like you would've meant the world to me" you said to Chen "and having more people like you in the world is the greatest thing ever it just makes me so happy" you said and the guys rushed to hug you when Kai appeared.

He saw you crying and rushed in "what have you said to her?" he cried protectively and you rushed to explain they were happy tears. "You have wonderful members" you said hugging Kai and he held you to him tightly "okay...want some food?". You nodded and followed Exo into the kitchen.

After that, it was pretty smooth sailing for you and Kai. Both your groups knew and they got along well. For your birthday you'd had a small party and invited your idol friends including Twice and Exo of course. You and Kai didn't hide your relationship and it was basically your way of announcing it to your closest friends. Kai loved how far you'd both come and could feel himself falling for you more and more each day. He was surprised with how much your lifestyle suited him and gave him a completely new outlook on life and everything he thought a relationship should be. You could be so loving, kind and intimate without even having to touch him and he found just laying with you in his arms made him happier than any past girl he'd had in his bed.

So Kai started telling more people about your relationship including his family who were thrilled, the staff at his company and his senior Haneul. Haneul was in a group that debuted before Exo that had been popular but definitely came from a different era with many members of the group making headlines for negative reasons but Kai assumed Haneul was safe. He'd heard things about him but the guy was always fine to him so he figured they must be false...until he told him about your relationship.

Haneul was quiet when Kai first explained it and then asked several questions which Kai thought were quite prying but he let it pass considering they were friends. When they parted ways Kai thought that was the end of it and then one day, you and Kai were having a Mario Kart Tournament at his house when Haneul showed up. He said he was in the neighbourhood and thought he'd stop by but offered to leave when he saw you behind Kai. Kai looked to you and you said it was fine and invited Haneul in. This was when Kai started noticing things were wrong. For one thing, Haneul was just being weird to you. He was being cold and wasn't his usual charming self. He'd give you dead replies and wasn't asking anything about you or initiating any conversations with you. Despite that Kai could see Haneul watching you and he seemed to be paying a lot of attention to you. You also seemed to notice this and so Kai text you asking you to give him a minute with him and you excused yourself, saying you had to call Jihyo.

The second you'd gone Haneul sat forwards "so that's the girl huh?". Kai paused "Y/n yeah...my girlfriend". Haneul laughed when Kai said that and he frowned "look you've been acting so weird since you got here, is something wrong?". "Yes, I don't know what hold she has over you or if you just feel bad for her but why are you doing this? You can't be happy dating her". Kai frowned "I am happy why would you think I'm not?". "Because your girlfriend doesn't find you attractive!" Haneul cried. Kai shook his head "Y/n does find me attractive, that just doesn't make her want to sleep with me". Haneul raised his eyebrows "Kai I'm sorry but that so clearly means she's not into you! She's just stringing you along". "No she's not" Kai said feeling agitated "she's just asexual". "But that's not a relationship that's a friendship". Kai raised an eyebrow "seriously? She's my girlfriend in name and tons of other ways. You don't have to have sex to be intimate and close". "But you do to be in a relationship! That'd why you consummate marriages, sex defines them. They're the main different between that and a friendship". Kai shook his head "I disagree, if the only difference between your friendship and relationship is sex then I don't think you're in a very good relationship. Regardless I want you to respect my choice so I don't want to hear any more of this, you got it?". "But Kai...I can't just stand by and watch you waste your best years of a girl this not even sleeping with you". Kai shook his head "it's so funny you're focusing on all the stuff she doesn't do and not what she does do. How she makes me smile just when I hear her name or how I feel happy every time she enters a room. How everything feels perfect when she's in my arms and how I've never had a connection with someone as I have her. How in the space of 3 months she already knows me better than anyone and I feel so safe and in love". Haneul shook his head "you can't be in love with her". "Yes I can, I love her and it's that's simple" Kai said.

You'd been listening to everything with a sinking feeling in your stomach. Haneul's horrible words made you worry how many other people might feel this way and just didn't say it but Kai's replies steadied you because even if they did, all that mattered was your and Kai's opinions and Kai was being pretty amazing. You listened to him defend you passionately and couldn't have found him more attractive. Right then and there you knew you'd chosen the right person to be with and then Kai's revelation made you gasp. You were stunned that he said he loved you. Part of you thought you'd never receive love from a partner without compromising yourself so it was very overwhelming.

You heard the front door slam shortly after and Kai came to find you. He saw you crying and swore "you heard...Y/n I'm so sorry, please don't listen to him he doesn't know anything!". Kai continued to reassure you when you held out a hand to him "Kai it's okay I'm not upset. It wasn't what Haneul said but what you said". Kai paused "oh...you liked that?". "I loved it!" you smiled and then froze as you both recalled what Kai had said. "Did you erm...hear that bit too?" he asked and you nodded "it was beautiful Kai and I love you too". A smile immediately lit up on Kai's face and he looked at you "really? Because you don't have to just say it back, I know this might be early on and I'd never want you to feel pressured" when you cut him off with a hug. "I love you Kai" you repeated and he smiled relaxing into the embrace and holding you against his chest "I love you too".

You and Kai survived dating in the idol world and eventually came out as a couple. You also later came out as asexual and were shocked by the number of idols who also came through following your example. Kai proved to you that the world wasn't as scary a place as you thought. They will always be ignorant idiots out there but there are also good ones and you'd found for yourself in Kai.

You lived happily ever after with the sexiest kpop idol to ever exist.

____________

Happy Ace Visibility week...nearly! I know it starts next week but I just couldn't wait.

As an Ace person, I always wonder which idols would pass the ally test and Kai just gives really good vibes so I thought of him for this imagine. I particularly wanted an idol forced into the sexy role because that's not always who they are underneath and I think that's important to remember.

Also everything in this ace related is not up for discussion. My existence and validity as an asexual person is not up for debate in case anyone tries it ;)

[savingthrcw]

Kindly folks. A little flash of disgust on Janey's face, because she had been accused of that before, and sure, in this case it was somewhat sarcastic, he didn't believe they'd do it out of kindness, but enough people had eventually come to think that she had such inclination and it was distressing. The last thing she needed was people expecting her to be a decent person instead of just having little human lapses.

"I'm sure it had nothin' to do with y'all having a sudden pressin' need for a newtracker. I'll give you this much though, sweetheart, you at least know how to pretend to ask nicely."

"Please. Look at me, cowboy," she opened her arms then dropped, with just about the same enthusiasm she put into her words, "I'm an old raider." Well, old was a big word for someone who hadn't touched 35 yet. But in raider's years? "I'm still here because I plan and I prepare. Then I overprepare. You'd be when the 'over' bit starts. Which is what lets me be so 'nice' about it." No need for begging or threatening, just two grown folks discussing business. In the years she had found some got disoriented by that, but others jumped in. Especially other raiders who had never stopped for a second to attempt thinking. Right, the job. "Here's the deal. Apparently a scientist stole from the Enclave and ran with his dog." Just this time, just for a moment, there was a twitch on her lips that resembled a smile instead of her permanent deadpan expression, at the thought of someone actually fucking with the Enclave from inside. And leaving with a dog, at that. "The Enclave got its panties in a twist, and offered a thousand caps to bring him back. But we both know they ain't gonna give that to ya. 'Cause you are a ghoul, and people are stupid about that. They'll want someone in a shiny armor to do it. Who'll really pay a lot is a friend of mine, if I bring the scientist to them. If you are with me, it's a job worth 500 caps for you alone. You are free to go and check if anyone is offering more. But..." She took a few steps to the side to look at him better, or more specifically which sort of weapon he had. "If it's true that you are as good as they say, I'll throw in an extra 200. Not because I'm kind-hearted," she hadn't let go of that one yet, "But because that's what I call an investment. Paying skilled people the right amount instead of fucking them up... usually means they'll come back to work with me later. So take this as an incentive not to shoot me in the back whether you wanna do it or not, I'm worth more caps alive, 'cause they can keep coming and you never know when you may need a job." She had to offer beforehand that sort of incentive, because that was what had kickstarted several, surprisingly civilized, joined efforts with people who normally would have literally tried to eat her after the job. Even raiders could cooperate sometimes, with the idea that they'd get their pockets full again in the future. Some got stupid later anyway, and got disposed of. She agreed with that logic: she wouldn't make deals with Dom Pedro, for one, but she wouldn't rush to kill a stranger who may keep their word on it, there was always time for that later, if they were lying. Then, of course, there were those trying to make her deal in slavery, and whether they acted civilized or not they got shot in the face. She did have standards. "Pitch over. I won't lie, the fact that Dom Pedro will shit his pants knowing you're out and about? Makes me feel aaaall warm and fuzzy. It's good reason to try you first." She wished she could see his dickface when he found out, but she'd have to just imagine it.

Cooper's eyes snapped open; in the suffocating darkness of the coffin, of course, there was nothing to see, but he stared hard up at the source of the sound nonetheless. It was quiet, muffled, but unmistakable.

Someone was digging.

How long had it been? It felt like he'd been down here in this cramped iron prison for a fucking eternity, like a broken doll stuffed back into its box and forgotten about. Was Dom Pedro back for another round?

This was his chance. All he needed was a few seconds, a clean shot for his rope. He didn't know what was waiting for him aboveground, but it was a safe bet that he'd be fighting for his life once that coffin door opened, and the rush of anger-infused adrenaline almost drowned out the pain from his twisted limbs, the horrible burn in his chest from each rattling wheeze for air that just never quite seemed to fill his lungs.

Come on, come on, oh god please hurry up and get me the fuck out of here -

THUNK.

They'd hit the coffin. Shit, this was really happening. This was it. Freedom.

Fresh fucking air.

Cooper felt his face twist into a desperate snarl as he tried to weakly wriggle his busted arm below his head towards his rope. It was no good, of course. Fuck it. He'd just have to come out as he was, and hope his regenerative abilities kicked in once he was less of a pretzel. Hope that Dom Pedro was in a chatty mood and not a prisoner-maiming one.

After what felt like a frustratingly long time, the scraping and dull thunking sounds finally stopped. He felt the coffin get hoisted up, up, up into the air, and then it was being slowly rotated to stand him upright.

Cooper closed his eyes, shoved the fear down, and smiled.

One way or another, he was gonna walk free today, and whoever just dug him up was going to regret it.

There was a heavy rattling of chains; at last, the coffin door swung open, leaving him coughing and gasping for breath like a swimmer who'd just spent too long underwater. It took some effort to pull himself free from the cold dark prison where his mangled body had been so ungraciously stuffed, but he managed to lurch his way out and double over, groaning as his body rearranged itself with a series of sickening cracks. Shit, that always hurt like a son of a bitch.

And of course, there was an audience pointing guns at him while he caught his breath and got reacquainted with existence outside of his coffin. Wonderful.

"Guns down, he's fine."

...By fine, he supposed the woman meant not a slavering feral.

Well, at least he now knew which of these strangers was the one giving orders.

Like a group of mongooses flinching back from a snake in a hole, the men who'd just opened his coffin hastily lowered their weapons and retreated, never once taking their eyes off him.

Guess it was showtime, then.

Slowly, with the unhurried self-assurance of a yao guai finally choosing to emerge from hibernation, The Ghoul straightened up to his full height. One boot stepped away from the open grave and onto the grass, followed by the other. A gnarled hand flexed, as narrowed sunken blue eyes swept the graveyard. Counting the heads, calculating the trajectories, appraising the threats.

...Just three, huh?

He could take three. No problem.

"Hey. I'm not with Dom Pedro."

At the woman's words, The Ghoul slowly tilted his head to one side, silent and evaluating.

Oh, you talkin' to little old me now?

Yeah, no shit she wasn't one of Dom Pedro's.

Pedro would've known better than to dig him up without at least triple the men to point guns at him.

"I'm gonna get straight to the point. I'm getting you out of there for two reasons: one, I hate that fucker and I want him to suffer. Two, coffins are for the dead."

Taking the good-cop approach right out of the gate, huh? Well, that sure was a choice. Not the default one, though, going by the minigun over her shoulder and the big pistol holstered on her hip.

...Was she trying to imply she could put him back to rest in that coffin in the proper way, if he wasn't feeling grateful enough for the unsolicited rescue?

The Ghoul's head took a tilt to the other side; a swaying cobra, sizing up his target, contemplating whether or not to strike.

His realigned joints ached something fucking fierce. The throbbing in his temples, the gnawing emptiness in his stomach and the dry burn in his throat was almost maddening. All he wanted was a long drink, a massive Brahmin steak and a comfy surface to pass out on after he took a shitload of chems.

He'd settle for just shooting some heads open and taking whatever shit these idiots had in their pockets, though. Whatever they'd come here looking for, they weren't gonna be getting it from him. He was in no mood to go from one man's kennel to this woman's leash.

"That said, I've been told you are the best tracker we can find on this side of the Wasteland, so if you are interested I've got a job worth a lot of caps."

The Ghoul's lips started to curl into a knowing little scoff. Yep, there it was. The only surprise was that she was bothering to frame it like an offer and not an order.

Maybe she just knew she didn't have the firepower right now to play the bad-cop angle. That minigun would take a good few seconds to spin up, after all, and he was pretty confident he was a faster draw than her.

"If you are not interested, good-fucking-bye, good luck and I hope you kill that son of a bitch."

There was a flicker of something across The Ghoul's marred face; a blend of faintly perplexed surprise, amusement, and appraisal. The expression disappeared almost as swiftly as it appeared, like a stone sinking into the deep.

"...Well, now, ain't that a pretty little pitch."

The Ghoul's voice was a low rasping drawl edged with a lightly sardonic nonchalance, that belied the flatly evaluating way he was looking at the head honcho stranger now. Not a fan of Dom Pedro's, huh? Was she hoping he'd go kill the bastard for her? Well, he was admittedly feeling pretty murderously inclined towards the man right now.

But it sounded like there was more to it than that.

"Y'all must be some real kindly folks, diggin' up an old wrinkly like me just to right another man's wrong."

Slow, prowling steps forwards and angling to the side. If things went south, he sure as fuck wouldn't be the one ending up in that coffin.

" I'm sure it had nothin' to do with y'all having a sudden pressin' need for a new tracker. I'll give you this much though, sweetheart," he tacked on casually, as he shifted step by innocuous step into a more tactical position, "You at least know how to pretend to ask nicely."

He didn't know these people, they sure seemed to know about him. No one went to all the effort of traipsing onto Dom Pedro's turf and digging up the biggest baddest motherfucker they could think of unless they were desperate for a win. By the men's caginess and their minigun-toting leader's calm reasonable act, they weren't exactly used to pitching job offers to someone like him either.

"Can't exactly say if I'm interested in this lucrative job o' yours or not if I ain't got a clue what the job is, though, can I?"

If it sounded solid, there was no reason he couldn't just kill them and go after the bounty himself. Easier than dealing with having to travel with other people, and he wouldn't have to split the payload - or go through the whole inconvenience of them trying to double-cross him and make off with all the caps.

If it sounded like a bust or just plain not worth his time, well, he'd get to test out how serious she was about letting him exercise his right to say no.

@savingthrcw

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Good Girl, Bad Boy (Pt. 02 of 15)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: You're the extreme opposite of Billy Hargrove. The good girl, with perfect grades, the child every mother wants to have. And you don't want to have nothing to do with his kind. Ignoring Billy – and his constant, lingering stare – became an habit. But after you're put together for a special school program, you'll have no choice but to get along with him. And soon enough you'll find out that Billy is so much more than just Hawkins' bad boy.

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Growing Closer

You find Billy walking away from his locker, ready to go home. He's alone this time, and you heard something about Stacy being mad at him. You wonder what he did to her. Or if he just got tired and is now aiming for someone else.

“Hargrove.” You call when you're closer enough to be heard. Billy turns around immediately, and you both stop in the middle of the hall. “Do you happen to have some time? We need to discuss the calendar.”

“Sure.” He simply says, and it's clear to you he's pissed off already. He was forced into the program, so it's only normal he doesn't want to do that.

“We can hit the library. It remains open for two hours after class.” You can't help but notice some people staring. But that isn't a surprise. You and Billy are as different as day and night, and nobody expects to see you two talking.

“Sure.” He repeats, and a fun expression crosses his face before he steps aside, gesturing for you to walk.

Chuckling, you furrow your eyebrows, starting to make your way to the library.

You know the place by heart since you're here at least three times a week. Waving at the teacher who stays in the reception, you pick a table in the back, so your chattering won't bother anyone. Taking a seat, you watch as Billy settles down across from you.

It's a little weird at first, and a silence falls in between you two. You suddenly realize you've been staring at him, way too focused on his blue eyes. You didn't know Billy's eyes were so beautiful. But you quickly clear your throat, searching on your bag for your notebook.

“I made you this planner.” Pulling the paper sheet off the notebook, colorful by many different marker colors, you slide it over to him. Billy's eyes fall on it immediately, eyebrows raising. “It's just to help you keep up with everything until the end of the year. More stuff will probably be add, but don't worry, I'll let you know.”

“You have everything figured out, don't you?” He finally speaks up, holding the paper in his hands.

“I know you don't want to do this. But this is senior year and you're almost free. Just a little longer and this will be over.” Offering him a small smile, you put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I won't repeat the year. My grades are enough to get me through.” He sounds a little angry, and you sigh.

You don't know what to say to make him cooperate if he doesn't want to. “Look, you can't get out of the Improvement Program. But you can pick another tutor. So if you want, I have a list of everyone who's still available and maybe if there's someone you already know or happen to be friends with–” As you speak, you start looking in your bag for the small blueish paper. “–you just have to talk to Mrs Martinez and–”

“I want you to be my tutor.” His voice startles you since it's a little too loud and because of the silence, it echoes a bit. “But just because I know you're the smartest person in this school.”

Biting your lip, you nod, not sure how you feel about his compliment. “Thanks... I try.”

“You freaking succeed,” Billy mutters, cupping his hands above the table.

There's heat creeping through your cheeks so you look away, bringing back to mind what else you must talk to him about. “So, the next project is a presentation on History about World War I. Our part is about the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the invasion of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the July crisis. The happenings before the war was set.”

“Great.”

“Shhh.” Someone says, and you look at a small group of people on your left.

“You shut up, asshole.” Billy raises his voice a little, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Hey. Don't say that.” You warn him, giving the boy an apologetic look. “We're at a library, we're supposed to be quiet.”

“Excuse me.” Mr Williams comes, standing a few feet away. “Some students are complaining about your chattering, so I'll have to ask you to leave, please.”

“Oh...” Blushing a little, you start gathering your stuff. “Sorry, Mr Williams. We'll leave.” Billy is just about to say something when you give him a look.

You're quickly outside again, fixing the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “We...” Moving out of the way of some people heading to the library, you set into his pace, walking side by side. “We'll need some time to work on everything. So we can switch between your place and mine because doing things in the library won't work.” You feel a little shy to propose this, but it's not a big deal. You'll be doing this until the end of the year, so it's quite inevitable. “If that's ok with you, of course.”

“We should hit your place then. My father is home today, so... It just won't work.” There's a change in his voice, and you glance at him.

“My mother is home too. But she won't bother us.” Walking a little faster, you gesture at your car. “Just follow me.”

Billy nods, and you smile, giving him a little wave.

The school is empty, and so are the streets around it, so you have no trouble speeding away. Keeping your eyes on the review mirror, it only takes twenty minutes to get to your house, so you park on your usual spot, stepping out of the car and waiting for Billy to do the same. When he finally joins you on the porch, you move to unlock the door.

Billy couldn't help but feel lucky to be at her place. He never thought he'd come here, under any circumstances. Trying not to let her notice, he allows his eyes to wander a little as she opens the door, taking in the place (Y/N) calls home. It has a weird feeling for him, almost as if the place is sacred, somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.

“My mother is nice. But she may say some embarring stuff so... Be prepared.” Following her inside, Billy notices as her mother looks at them, eyes going a little wide to see him. He wonders if she isn't used to her daughter bringing boys home. Knowing (Y/N), he knows she's not. “Mom, this is Billy Hargrove. I told you about him yesterday, remember? From the Improvement Program.”

She told her mother about him. So yes, she was thinking about him. Maybe just for a couple of seconds, maybe just as someone she knows, who she has told to help. But it doesn't matter. (Y/N) was thinking about him, and for now, it's enough.

“Of course.” She stands up, coming to give her daughter a quick hug and shake Billy's hand. “I'm Amanda. (Y/N)'s mother.”

“It's good to meet you, Mrs–”

“Call me Amanda kid, or else I feel terribly old.” She jokes, kindly smiling. “I believe you'll be hanging around here a lot because of school. But don't worry, I won't get in your way.”

“Thanks, mom. We'll be in the dining room.” (Y/N)'s light touch on his forearm is enough to make him shot her a glance, almost too desperate, something in him wanting to ask her why she did such a thing. Billy curses himself as he follows her to the dining room for feeling so stupid. It's just a freaking touch. On his freaking arm. And she wasn't even giving it much thought.

As Billy settles down on the table, (Y/N) moves the centerpiece to the edge so they'll have more space. “Do you want anything? Water? Or some chips? I happen to have some.”

Her voice sends Billy into some kind of stupor. A guy like him shouldn't feel this way. (Y/N) is just a girl, and he had many. But none of them ever made him feel like this. Like his heart is trying to jump off his chest. After a year, he did think he got over it. But he was wrong. Billy didn't want to be this close to (Y/N), always watching her from a safe distance. But this stupid school had to put them together, so damn close. Look at him now, seated on her dining table, staring at her like a complete idiot.

Just because she offered him water and freaking chips.

“Water is nice.” He mumbles, eyes on her back as she walks away, passing behind his chair. A sweet scent irradiates from her. Like flowers, he doesn't know which one though, like freaking sunshine.

Laughing at his stupidity, Billy looks down at his hands. How can someone smell like sunshine? It's illogical.

“Get it together, she's just a girl,” Billy says to himself, resting his back against the chair and taking his jacket off, laying on the chair next to him. Girls are nothing new to him. He had they all figured out, their ways, how to break them, how to please them, how to bend them to his will.

But not (Y/N).

A nice girl like her is immune to his tricks. And that's good because if she wasn't, it would mean she could also fall on someone's traps. Like Tommy, or Jimmy, or Jackson. The very thought of those assholes with her, touching, caressing, kissing... It disgusts him, and he's quick to push such images away.

“Did you say something?” (Y/N) asks, coming back from the kitchen and handing him a glass with cold water. Once she's close enough, he takes a deep breath, and her sweet scent almost drives him mad.

She's not a girl for you, get it together. “No.” He mumbles, taking long sips before putting the glass down. “So what now?” He sounds a little rude, so he immediately clears his throat after, eyes on (Y/N) as she takes a seat next to him on the round table instead of across from him. Billy finds it odd, but he's thankful for the proximity. This way, he can be surrounded by her candy-like scent, trying to memorize it so he could play it back later. When he's into the nightmare he calls home.

You're just about to start, History books already on the table, since you'll begin with the presentation, notebooks and papers so you can take notes, but then you look at Billy. There's a bruise on the apple of his cheek that you haven't noticed it before.

“Did you get into a fight?” You ask, leaning slightly forward to take a better look.

“What?” There's a moment of confusion on his face before it changes. “Yeah.”

“Did you win?”

“In a way.” It doesn't look like he'll say anything else.

“Well, if someone punches you, make sure to beat them up.” Smiling a little, you take the History book, opening it on chapter 7. “What exactly do you know about–”

“Are you still dating Steve?”

The question takes you by surprise, making you nervously giggle. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just curious.” He shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head to the side. “Saw you two talking earlier today and he wouldn't be happy to know we'll be around each other a lot.”

“Steve is my friend. We dated last year but only for two months.” Avoiding Billy's eyes, you go through the book, not really paying attention to anything. You can feel his stare, and for some reason, your cheeks start heating up.

“Who broke up with who?”

Chuckling, you turn your body towards him. “Why do you want to know, Billy?” Maybe he's just trying to procrastinate. “Because if you're just trying to delay things I–”

“No, I really want to know.” He leans forward, pulling the book closer to him. “You and Harrington don't fit together, so I was surprised to see you hanging out with him last year.”

“Steve and I got pretty close when he dropped the jerk act. And we were both single so we decided to give it a try.” The only reason you're telling Billy this is because it's not a secret. Some people know and they probably didn't put any effort into keeping it hidden. “But it didn't click. We were dating but it wasn't really romantic, so...” You smile to remember it, and the memory that comes back is definitely a secret. Nancy is the only one who knows, her and Steve, obviously. But you guess it's ok to tell Billy, it's quite funny. And silly. “We... We never really kissed, you know?”

“What?” His voice startles you, and the genuine confusion on his face only makes you laugh. “You're joking.”

“I'm not, and if this gets out, I'll know it was you.” With a finger pointing at his face, you fake a threatening face. “So keep it between us or else.”

Pinching his eyebrows together, Billy seems amused. “Or else what?” His voice gets lower, as he leans closer.

“Or else I'll have no choice but to make out with Steve in front of the whole school.” In a sassy tone, you smile, biting your tongue not to laugh at his expression. Billy is... Impressed? Surprised, maybe. Something tells you he wasn't expecting this answer.

“Ew. Please don't.”

“Then don't tell anyone.” Shrugging your shoulders, you pull your feet up, crossing your legs on the chair. “Now, C'mon. World War I.”

“One more question and we get to it.” As he speaks, you feel him pulling your hand away from the notebook, forcing you to give him attention. “Why in the hell didn't you and Steve–”

“We kissed. I mean, those quick kisses, you know. Like when you say hi or goodbye. Just a peck in the lips. But that was it.”

“That was it?”

“That was it.” Giggling again, you assure him. Why is it so important to him anyway? “Now, can we start?”

You watch as Billy's eyes remain on you, burning, lingering. After a while, his lips break into a smile and he looks down at the book, shaking his head lightly. “Let's start.”

×

@multific @clockworkballerina @tina1938 @graciehams @moatsnow @all-the-stars-on-your-skin

[alottanothing]

Kismet

Summary: Evie prepares a meal for the stranger who helped her and finds herself more than a little smitten.

Previous Part: Hope

Word Count: 5707

Warnings: Language

Tag List: @ramilicious, @txmel, @edteche2, @gloriousdarkangelsworld, @diasimar, @xmxisxforxmaybe (Let me know if I missed you, or if you would like to be added to the tag list)

A/N: Okay, I almost didn't get this up today because I was up most of the night sewing kilts for Highland Weekend at the Ohio Renfiare. BUT I stayed awake and did my final read-through, so this should be mostly okay. I skipped a couple steps in my editing to get this up on time but I think, for the most part, it's okay. If you see a grammatical booboo, just ignore it, I'll get in here sometime this week with my other two editing steps and find it, then repost this. Capisce? Okay, cool...now. I hope you enjoy it, I also hope my trying to phonetically write Mer's accent doesn't get too annoying. I know you really shouldn't write accents, but I think it helps add to the characters. And I do try to keep it to a minimum so it doesn't get annoying. Thanks for the love the first part received last month! I know waiting so long between updates is a bit sad after weekly updates with LtR. But life is busy right now and once a month is all can guarantee.

Jonny did not know how to keep a house.

In fact, Jonny did not know how to do much more than drink, argue, and get into fights. He was nothing but a thorn in Evie's side—never mind how much she needed him for a place to lay her head. A necessary thorn was still a thorn. Given the opportunity, she would rip it out as soon as she could and dress the wound promptly so she was finally able to heal better. She stayed only because she had no other choice. And every time Jonny raised his voice or stumbled in reeking of alcohol and red-faced, Evie could hear her best friend's warning in her head. Cynthia had begged her not to go with him, but she hadn't listened.

Oh, how she wished she had.

Luckily, Jonny wasn't the kind of man who liked to stay home which eased the ache of the ever-present thorn in her side. Whatever money he did have, he spent out on the town—the town being New Orleans. Like Evie, Jonny had been born and raised in the Big Apple, the noise and the chaos was part of him. As such, he hadn't taken to the quiet suburban life Bridge City offered as well as Evie. She liked the quiet, easy flow of the sleepy town. Her housemate loathed his new home. He thrived in disarray, thus, he found a group of like-minded young men to run amok with in the neighboring metropolis every chance he got.

If Jonny had been any sort of amicable company, the notion of him leaving most every night to wreak havoc several miles away would have been upsetting. Thankfully, his penchant for city life meant a good portion of Evie's days were spent out from under Jonny's tyranny. The hours he was gone were blissful and calm, and she relished in them. Whether she was creating art or tending to chores around the old house, Evie didn't care as long as Jonny wasn't there—never mind how lonely the routine often was.

Evie had never gotten the chance to meet Jonny's maternal grandmother, though she suspected she would have liked to. Unlike her grandson, she seemed like any other sweet elderly woman judging by the furnishings she'd left behind. There were dozens of lace doilies, and table cloths with soft patterns, decretive china even, but it was the plethora of photos the old woman kept that told Evie she'd carried a kindly heart. All of them were kept in pristine albums or intricate frames; they were the only barbles that seemed to have been cleaned or dusted with any regularity which spoke of how much she must have treasured them. Evie loved those tiny trinkets and black and white memories. It didn't matter that they were not her legacy of family heirlooms to keep, she adored them anyway.

She couldn't count the number of times she'd replaced a broken frame that had fallen victim to Jonny's drunken belligerence or scrubbed tirelessly at a stain he'd left on the patterned tablecloths. It proved to be a hefty undertaking, but dwelling in the fantasies of someone else's history let her forget the grief of her own. She was willing to sacrifice a little elbow grease if it allowed her mind to roam away from the shadow that never really seemed to vanish.

For all the effort Evie put in on the interior, the cottage held little in the way of curb appeal. The porch was sunken in the middle, the paint was peeling off in chunks, and the yard was mostly weeds. Worst, however, was the screen door which squeaked so loudly, every dog in the neighborhood howled in protest every time someone crossed the threshold. The outside needed love that Evie simply didn't have the energy to lend. Despite the grit, however, the foundations were sturdy enough that she didn't worry. The cottage proved to be stronger than she looked—a feat Evie felt she had in common with the old house. And while it was a swell enough place to rest her head, it never truly felt like home. Home was somewhere safe, and as long as Jonny lived under that roof she wasn't safe. Not really.

Fortunately, Jonny wasn't home when Evie returned after her run-in with Mr. Shelton—Mer, she corrected herself with a hint of a giddy smile. Without her housemate there, her evening promised to be hopeful instead of lonely, and she wasted no time in figuring out what to make for dinner.

With her red pumps replaced by her worn-in slippers and her blue checkered apron secured around her waist, she set a pot of water to boil and dialed the phone conveniently located in the kitchen. Every evening she called her sister-in-law to pass the time and keep up on unimportant gossip back home; this time, however, Evie was excited to finally have some good news to share.

"You got the job, didn't you?" Cynthia Clarke asked on the other end, sounding hopeful. "I knew you would."

Evie grinned, still amazed how the sound of Cyn's voice always seemed to settle some of the ever-present anxieties buzzing in her head. She missed her friend so much.

"I didn't even say yes."

"Did you or did you not get the job?" Cynthia pressed.

"I did," Evie confirmed and her smile grew hearing her friend cheer on the other end of the phone.

"See! I knew it." Cynthia said. "My gut feeling is always right."

Evie rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly.

"I think I'm gonna like working there too, so that's good." she mused as she stood at the stove, eyeing the pot of water she’d set to boil.

"That's so great, Ev. I'm so proud of you." Cynthia paused before continuing. "So, what are you up to tonight? Avoiding Jonny?"

"Sorta," Evie nodded even though she knew her friend wouldn't see.

As she continued to watch her cooking pot of water she told Cynthia all about her trouble with Jonny's car and the man who'd been so kind to help her.

"Wait. You invited the stranger over who fixed the car?" Concern was heavy in Cyn's voice, and Evie half expected a lecture to follow.

Despite knowing each other since childhood, Cynthia had taken on the role of her protector since Evie's family was no longer in the picture. The war had claimed Evie's father, and brother—although they'd never found her brother, Jimmy after he disappeared behind enemy lines. Evie never lost hope that Jimmy would one day be found, Cynthia though, was certain her husband was never coming home. After Cyn’s brother, Charlie, died at Normandy Cynthia had difficulty believing anyone was going to make it home. As for Evie's mother, losing a child and her husband to the war was too much for her tender heart and she passed not long after. Ever since, Cynthia was overcome with the need to act as Evie's guardian.

"He wouldn't let me pay him," Evie explained. "So I'm making him dinner—it seemed like the least I could do."

"I suppose…." Cynthia didn't sound convinced, if anything she sounded slightly irritated there was no quick way for her to argue the logic. "Just be careful, Evie. You don't know this guy—he could be another Jonny Doyle. Or worse."

"He's not," Evie said quickly. She wanted nothing more than to tell her friend all about how benevolent Mer was, but she decided against it. Cynthia would only argue that point somehow.

A long pause followed, and Evie wedged the receiver between her ear and shoulder so her hands were free to work on the meal.

"So, what are you cooking?" This time, there was a hint of jest in her friend's tone when she spoke.

The art of cooking was one creative outlet that Evie struggled with, second only to music. In her youth, her mother did all the cooking—it was a passion of her mother's—thus Evie had done little more than watch in wonder as her mother whipped up meal after meal effortlessly. Breakfast she the meal she was probably best at, apple pies too, but anything beyond that Evie required a step by step guide to prepare. And even then she lacked confidence. Thankfully, when she'd fled south, she remembered to grab her mother's cookbook. It was a cumbersome tome with yellowed pages and notes scribbled into the margins: a piece of art itself cultivated over years of collecting recipe after recipe starting the moment her mother stepped off the boat that brought her from Ireland. And like a witch and her spellbook, Evie depended on it.

"Spaghetti with garlic bread," Evie admitted feeling as though the meal lacked a certain something.

Pasta was something she knew held a low degree of difficulty when it came to preparing. Surely she couldn't mess up pasta.

“Mmm, I can almost smell it,” Cynthia said.

“Shut up.”

“No, seriously,” Cyn replied. “You’re mom’s spaghetti recipe was always my favorite.”

A doleful smile pulled at the corners of her lips, thinking back to her mother happily cooking in the kitchen as she sang a Celtic tune. It seemed strange that those moments would never again play out, instead they’d become bittersweet memories Evie could only relive in her mind.

“Mine too,” she murmured, suddenly missing her family.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Evie’s mind roamed the dregs of her grief before blinking back into reality and the hope of something happy to come.

“I need to go, Cyn,” Evie told her friend with a sigh. “I don’t want to burn the garlic bread.”

Cynthia chuckled and said her goodbye, only after making Evie promise to call her in the morning to let her know how everything went.

With her second hand restored after hanging up, Evelyn reached for her mother’s cookbook to give the steps another look over to ensure she had done everything and added every herb and ingredient she was supposed to. She’d followed everything perfectly, even factoring in the little notes scribbled into the margins left there by her mother—those she smiled at fondly and traced the fading ink with her fingers. Everything was as it should be. Even so, without a taste, Evie knew the sauce she had prepared would never be as savory as what her mother made so effortlessly.

“You were the artist in the kitchen, Ma,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll stick to paper and canvas.”

For the smallest of a moment Evie thought she would hear the warmth of her mother’s laugh, and when it never came she sighed again, trying not to dwell on the shadows behind her. What mattered was the light ahead.

Despite her lack of confidence, the meal came together without any severe hiccups. The noodles were not overcooked, the sauce was a complementing mix of savory and sweet (though, as she had guessed after a tiny taste, was not nearly as good as her mother's) and the garlic bread was nicely golden. A small tingle of pride manifested in the form of a surprised, but satisfied, smile as she surveyed the dinner before her.

“Not bad, Ev,” she told herself, knowing her mother would have been delighted.

With the cooking done, Evie threw a glance over her shoulder to the clock mounted on the wall, triggering a surge of anxiety to bubble in her gut. Stranger, perhaps, was the amount of excitement coursing through her veins. It was as though all of her happiness was riding on whether or not she would see Merriell again. None of it made sense; the man was little more than a stranger. The coupling of nerves and delight was not a feeling that put her ill at ease, however. She trusted it. And it was that peculiar sensation that seemed to fuel her movements.

With a few minutes to spare, Evie wandered into the small bathroom to freshen up. She made sure her hair was still pinned the way she liked—up and pretty. Her make-up was holding up nicely despite the heat; all she needed was a fresh layer of lipstick to complete the illusion of a put-together young lady. It wasn't often she wore a dress with heels and a face of cosmetics—she liked to when the opportunity arose, but she was just as comfortable in a pair of old overalls and smudges of charcoal on her face.

Just as she wiggled back into her red pumps—discarding her worn-in house slippers with a couple of calculated kicks—a knock on the door signaled Merriells arrival. Immediately a grin curled onto Evie's lips and her heart began to pound an anxious-excited rhythm. A blush threatened to color her cheeks to give away the torrid muscle beating in her chest—her ever yearning heart already making leaps and bounds for a man she had known for mere hours.

Don't be ridiculous—she warned herself taking in a deep breath to curb the eagerness coursing in her veins. Untying her apron, she tossed it along with her discarded slippers and went to answer the door, taking one last deep breath to steady the fervor in her heart.

Merriell had changed and showered. The sweet bouquet of his shampoo coupled invitingly with the musk of the aftershave he'd chosen, making it difficult for Evie to keep from soaking in the scent he carried. His curls were still somewhat damp—too much moisture in the air to keep the heat from drying them on his way over—though they fought to spring back into their previous fluff. The grease-covered, jeans he'd been wearing had been replaced by a nice pair of tan slacks, and the buttoned shirt he wore was a soft shade of green that made his eyes glitter a deeper emerald as he stood under the glow of the porch light. All Evie could do was stare—utterly beguiled—every rational thought in her head lost to her.

Mer smirked, amused by her ogling. "Hiya."

Evie blinked, coming back to reality, suddenly feeling foolish, and uttered a nervous "hi" before swinging her arm to invite him inside.

"Come in."

Merriell's smile grew as he crossed the threshold, inhaling deeply. "Mm, smells tasty in here."

He gently forced a bottle into her hands as he passed on his way to investigate the savory smells in the kitchen.

"I wasn' sho what ya was makin', but I figured wine usually goes with anythin'."

"Oh, thank you." Evie glanced at the label, unable to read the French words printed there. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," Mer shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to make a good impression."

There was something almost boyish when he smiled then—cheeks coloring pink ever-so-slightly—that made him even more of a mystery. One Evie was eager to solve.

"Well," she said placing the bottle on the kitchen table. "It should go perfectly with dinner."

His expression lost a hint of its boyish charm as it grew into a look of delight.

"Make yourself at home," Evie gestured vaguely between the table and the sofa in the living room as she ventured to the cabinet where the stemware was kept.

She placed two crystal glasses on the table along with the wine and retraced her steps to fetch some of the nicer china Jonny's grandmother had kept. Mer watched her, his gaze, gentle and attentive, and a little bit yearning as she methodically sat the table.

"Need help with anythin'?" he asked finally.

"Nope," She replied with a smile. "Everything is almost ready."

The hearty red sauce on the stove was beginning to boil again which told her it was hot enough to serve, and Evie eyed the pot with scrutiny, praying silently her attempt at cooking would go over well.

"I'll pour us a glass then," Mer announced.

"Great, lemme…" Evie spun to fish for the corkscrew in the drawer of misfit utensils, finding it, only to turn to see Merriell holding his lighter against the neck of the dark bottle just below the cork.

Before she could ask, a loud pop sounded, causing her to jump as the cork went flying.

"Oh my goodness!" she laughed, a little surprised, a little impressed. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Mer shrugged, a sly expression on his features, and left her question unanswered.

"How much ya want?" He held the open bottle over the top of her glass, waiting patiently.

"Enough," she said, tossing him a coy smirk without really meaning to.

He bit his lower lip as he smiled, chuckling under his breath when he poured a generous glass of red wine for each of them. She thanked him as he took his seat and grabbed his plate to dish out their dinner.

"How much pasta would you like?"

Mer's face lit with charm and mischief as he turned to face her.

"Enough," he grinned.

The expression on his face was playful, his smirk devious and amused by his own response and his cheekiness settled warmly in Evie's stomach. Not only did she revel in it, but she also played into his whimsy and scooped as much spaghetti into his plate as she could before coupling it with the savory sauce and a slice of bread.

Despite being only strangers, the atmosphere that bloomed that evening was not marked by any hint of bashfulness, instead, it was relaxed and amiable. Warmth that Evie had longed to dwell in again—that unrefutable kindness she'd lost with the passing of her family—flowed uninhibited from the man sitting adjacent to her. His conversation was cautious but still jovial and genuine. It was the first time since running south Evie could recall what life felt like without grief and fear weighing upon her. Merriell was a stranger, but she felt safe with him. Jonny had never made her feel that way.

"So," Evie spoke as she twirled the last bit of pasta with her fork. "What is it you do, Mr. Shelton?"

Mer cast her a look of disapproval—no doubt in retaliation to being addressed so formally—before his features softened back into a neutral, yet somehow still amused side smirk.

"Nothin' too excitin'," he stated vaguely. "The odd jobs are what I like ta do the most—like fixin' ya car this aftah noon."

Without really meaning to, Evie leaned forward, resting her elbow and chin on the table, utterly enchanted by the beautiful stranger at her table.

"You like to get your hands dirty, huh? Fixing things?" she was entirely too intrigued with the thought of what he could do with his hands.

He shrugged, suddenly modest after a foray of playfully arrogant smirks and glances. It made him abruptly twice as charming.

"I've always had a knack for it, I guess." Merriell finished the food on his plate with the help of his remaining garlic bread to mop up the sauce still left on his dish.

"What about you?" he asked after chewing. "Ya workin' anywhere?"

All at once, a proud smile lit up Evie's face. After all the excitement of seeing Merriell again, she'd almost forgotten about her good news.

"Actually, I just got a job today—the general store downtown, Southern Comfort."

Mer's face lit up too, "Birdie's place?"

"Yeah, you know it?" Of course, he knows it! She thought, Bridge City's population was slightly less than the number of people who lived in a single district back home in New York. Everyone knew everyone else.

"Sho do—I was practically raised there…ole Birdie's like a second mothah to me."

"Really?" Evie found a great deal of comfort in that notion. In fact the more she thought on it, the more she realized how similar the old woman and Mer were; they radiated the same magnetism and sincerity.

"Mmhm," he nodded, his eyes focusing elsewhere as the veil of memories danced across the contours of his features. "My mama used ta work there…once upon a time…"

"Does she still work there?"

Merriell's face lost a hit of its levity and he swallowed as though to fight off the onslaught of sudden emotion threatening to cast a shadow onto his expression.

"No…" he said softly. "She—uh—she died, about a year ago."

Shit!

Abruptly, sick knots twisted into Evie's stomach, feeling callous, but understanding of the quiet misery he hid under layers of charm and arrogance.

"Merriell, I'm…I'm sorry—I didn't mean…"

He met her eyes and cast her a quick smile—doleful, but enough to ease the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It's okay," he reassured her, reaching for his glass of wine and taking a good gulp before changing the subject. "Birdie's great—you'll enjoy workin' for her."

"I hope so…" Evie said softly, still too embarrassed to meet Mer's glance longer than a second or two.

For the first time all night the atmosphere they shared felt cumbersome—perhaps more melancholy—than she'd wanted it to get. Evie sat, worrying her bottom lip, her fingers toying with a loose thread in the table cloth as she stole quick glances through her lashes in Mer's direction.

He was nursing the alcohol in his glass with the same sadness she'd caught plaguing him as he sat at the bar hours ago. And while Evie was eager to know if his grief stemmed only from the loss of his mother, or perhaps more, Merriell was still too much of a stranger to warrant such questions. It didn't matter how easy it was to be near him, she had not earned the right to know his narrative.

A soft sigh broke past her lips as she fought to find a way to properly allay the gloom that was quickly ruining an otherwise wonderful evening. It wasn't until her eyes found their desert sitting on the counter, waiting to save the day, that she perked up.

"Got any room for apple pie?" Evie asked with a hesitant smile. She hoped he wanted to stay long enough to have a slice, though she would not have blamed him for wanting to leave.

Immediately Mer perked up too, the shadows on his features retreating with the promise of something sweet.

"I was countin' on it—seems as how you promised a slice earlier," he said with a boyish grin.

When she stood, he did too, helping clear away their dinner plates, and letting them soak in the sink to be washed later. Evie cut them each a slice of apple pie and the delight on Mer’s face made her smile too seeing him lick his lips as his grin continued to grow. Catching that flash of his tongue was like a bolt of hot lightning striking her without warning; a blush rose so quickly on her cheeks Evie had to look away to keep the blunder a secret. Thankfully, the pie was more than enough to hold Merriell’s attention away from her.

“Mmmm… Almost looks too good to eat,” he said ogling the desert in front of him.

When Evie chanced a look his way, the expression on his face caused her to chuckle, “‘oughta be, I made one for my pa every year for his birthday since I was nine. It’s probably the only thing I have any confidence in making in the kitchen.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Mer quipped as he loaded his fork with as much pie as he could.

The moment he took a bite, his brows creased, and eyes closed as he chewed painfully slow. Those few seconds were like agony. Evie’s heart was pounding in her chest with so much anticipation she feared she might faint as she watched him sample the only thing she could actually make that was worth a damn.

“Fuck me, if that ain’t the best apple pie I’ve evah had the pleasure of tasting.”

A somewhat nervous, but relieved chuckle sounded in the back of Evelyn’s throat as she watched Merriell shovel a larger bite of pie into his mouth.

“Mmm… Yep. God damn delightful.”

“Stop,” Evie said sheepishly, suddenly afraid he was overselling his reaction to keep from hurting her feelings.

“No,” he wiped his mouth and leaned across the table to meet her gaze with a sincere expression that stole away all the doubt writhing in her stomach.

“I mean it. If I wasn’t so full of pasta, I’d eat that whole damn pie right now.”

“Well,” Evie grinned softly, trying not to let her blush color her cheeks too obviously. “Thank you. And you’re welcome to take the rest of it when you go.”

Excitement took form on his face with a smirk that was sweet but roguish all at once—a sort of debonair charm that amplified his magnetism—as if his bright eyes dark curls and razor-sharp jaw did not make him alluring enough already. Again she had to look away knowing the pink in her cheeks would be too strong to combat.

“Imma have ta take ya up on that offah. An’ I’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout you every time I cut me a slice.”

That blush was unstoppable; her heart was suddenly so smitten, it felt as though butterflies were fluttering merrily in her stomach. She felt weightless with warmth and hope swelling in her bosom, fearing any slight breeze would carry her off. It was ridiculous how at ease Evie felt sitting there eating pie with a complete stranger. The conversation had been easy all night; even when it had delved into less savory topics he still made her feel comfortable. Evelyn had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of a man who wasn’t easy to anger, who was genuine and kind and wanted only to live in the moment.

For a time the whimsy of the atmosphere faded as the warmth in her heart ached, suddenly missing her brother James and Cynthia's brother Charlie. Both of them were good men, kind and genuine—like Merriell—but they had been swallowed by the rages of war. Brave young men were lost forever, while a man like Jonny Doyle was still alive How was that fair?

No matter how pleasant her thoughts could be, they always fell back to the grief that plagued her. She sighed, deeply, pushing those intrusive memories back into the depths of her mind so she could find joy once more in the moment with a kind stranger.

When Merrill finished his plate he made a beeline for the sink full of soaking dishes.

“Oh, no,” she said jumping to her feet. “I can do those.”

Merriell, however, shook his head. “Uh-uh, you did the cookin’, I can do the cleanin’.”

When Evie tried to argue, Mer simply shook his head, his grin amused but determined as he kept scrubbing the dirty dishes.

“Let me help at least,” she suggested. “I’ll dry and put them away.”

Before he could protest, she snatched the freshly rinsed dish from his hand and began wiping away the droplets of water clinging to the porcelain surface, throwing him a smug smirk that made him chuckle.

“Alright,“ he smirked.

She watched him for a moment not really paying attention to her task as he scrubbed the old plates clean, overcome with a blissful vision of peaceful domesticity. It made her stomach fill to the brim with whimsy and her heart was fluttering again; had this stranger bewitched her already? Or did what she feel bubbling lightly in her gut like a seltzer stem from an end to her loneliness—even if it was only for a few hours? Evelyn didn’t know. Nevertheless, she was intrigued with a profound feeling and she wanted to dwell in it for as long as she could.

Occasionally as he would hand a freshly washed dish her way, his calloused fingertips would brush against her skin, igniting a spark she didn’t know how to react to. It was more than an amicable tingle racing from the tips of her fingers right to her heart. And each time they touched, Merriell would cast her a gentle smile that held nothing more than his inherent charm and magnetism. She wondered if he felt it too, or if her need for companionship was playing a dirty trick on her.

When the dishes were all back in their usual places—the night drawing to a close—Evelyn realized she was not ready to say farewell to her Beautiful Stranger. She longed to stay up all night just chatting with him, she did not care about what, Evelyn only wanted to stay encompassed a while longer in the blissful warmth he brought into her life. Once he was gone, all she would be able to do was stay up and ponder the significance of those little touches and the sparks they brought.

Thankfully, Merriell lingered on the old rickety porch, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his plate of leftover pie, seeming to stall their inevitable departure.

“Well,” he said with a grin. “Thank you for invitin’ a stranger ovah for dinna.” He paused, glancing at the leftover pie in his hand. “Can’t recall ever having a better plate of pasta, an’ nothin’ evah gonna beat this pie.”

Evie quickly looked at her feet to hide another blush.

“It was the least I could do,” she told him before looking back to meet his eyes. “You have no idea how much of a savior you were this afternoon…”

A glint of concern flashed in his eye, his brows beginning to crease as his unspoken question lingered between them.

She thought about telling him—telling him how Jonny was nothing more than a throne in her side, and how much she cherished Merriells company—but Mer was still a stranger. It wasn’t right to unload so much onto someone she’d only known for a few hours.

Before Mer could offer any reply, the sound of screeching tires stole all their focus as an old wagon pulled along the curb—narrowly missing a collision with the mailbox. The rowdy passengers were laughing and shouting loud enough even before the door opened to let Jonny stumble out. He staggered on drunk feet and screamed a handful of profanities to his buddies in the car which made them all roar with laughter.

It was only after the wagon full of hooligans pulled away that Jonny began to stagger towards the house, and it was exactly then that Evie’s fluttering heart became consumed with panic.

She and Mer watched him cross the yard, unseen, both frozen: Evie in fear and Merriell in confusion. Jonny’s intoxication level inhibited him from taking notice of them until he was at the base of the steps leading onto the porch. Immediately, his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Jonny, this is Mr. Merriell Shelton,” Evie said quickly, willing her voice not to shake.

The Doyle’s were not known for their hospitality, nor were they known to trust most people. Especially strangers.

“He helped me this afternoon with a bit of trouble I was having,” she explained vaguely, hoping to thwart any more suspicion. “I made him dinner to say thank you—he’s just about to leave.”

Jonny eyed Merriell, seizing him up as best he could through drunken lenses. Mer stood his ground, eyeing him back with a subtle intensity that never so much as cracked under Jonny’s scrutiny.

Finally, being the better man, Mer held out his hand in a friendly manner, “nice ta meet ya.”

Jonny cast a prolonged glare at Merriell's open hand, his brows furrowed and part of his lip hiked up in a sort of snarl. Instead of returning the kind gesture, Jonny made a show of spitting at his feet before tossing his heavy leer at Evelyn.

"Evie, do not invite any more strangers into my house. I don't care if they are dying." He shoved past them both, purposely bumping Mer's shoulder (most likely in hopes to start something) muttering as he went: "I don't trust any of these filthy southerners."

Shock sent Evie's jaw slack; this time the redness in her cheeks was a symptom of embarrassment instead of infatuation. She should have known Jonny would say something rude and uncouth. Without another thought, she grabbed Mer by his sleeve and pulled him across the lawn until they stood next to his truck parked along the curb.

"I am so sorry about him," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at Jonny's house, ashamed and angry.

Mer shrugged as he placed his partially eaten pie in the passenger seat through the open window before fixing his hands in his front pockets.

"Ya boyfriend's a bit of an asshole."

"He is not my boyfriend," Evie corrected vehemently. "I don't think he knows that though. I'm just staying here until I can figure some things out."

Merriell was quiet a moment, nodding silently. It seemed as though he was taking his time processing the whole situation. There was compassion on his face and behind his eyes, but it was guarded somehow. Evie caught it though and she was grateful when he didn't ask the questions plainly forming in his mind.

"Well," he said finally, his tone light as one corner of his mouth quirked into a grin. "Since he ain't ya othah half, I feel more inclined ta leave ya with this…"

Gently, Merriell caressed her upper arm as he leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on her cheek. He let his lips linger slightly longer than was common for such an act, that all at once wove a new hopefulness into her heart.

"Dinna was swell," he added as he pulled away, his smile somehow more charming than it had been all night. "Hope I see ya again, Evie."

"Me too," she murmured.

Evie watched as he got in his truck to leave, her hand held to the cheek he'd graced with his kiss. And when he drove away, it took everything inside of her to keep from running after him.

[prince-simon]

Hey, new reader here! Kinda!

Just discovered Prince Simon Universe for about 4 weeks now and it's been an obsession! Re-reading right now!!!

Not very good for my Borderline, full of emotional rollercoasters! You will hear from my therapist, just so you know!

Anyway, I want to tell you that you created something so beautiful, so precious with " I don't think our love is brand new ", and that you made me laugh, cry and sob.

They love each other so much, that it hurts. And when they are not together?!?! It breaks my heart, bestie! Wille feels so much saudade de Simon!! I can't!!

Honestly, it was very difficult and tough to go through the chapters where Simon was so depressed, it hit a little bit too close to home.

So, I took a break, that is why I didn't comment sooner, sorry.

But, I came back and got through it, little by little and I have to say that I am amazed.

The care and respect that you displayed on the subject brought tears to my eyes. Really!

It takes a very gorgeous human being and a talented writer, to put down into words such heavy, raw and vulnerable situations with that care.

I'm struggling to find the words to say everything I wanted so, thank you for this glorious piece of FREE work! You really should be paid for all the hard work!!!

Aannd, I saw that you love Maro?!?! Yes, just proves my point, only beautiful people can love a queen like her. As a fellow Portuguese, I can say that we do not appreciate Maro enough, I'm so happy that she's getting the recognition she deserves!!

Can I suggest you a song? I think you will like it! Let me know!

https://youtu.be/gIP1hwTJOvs

And finally, I have a little request!

Could you, kindly, step on me?

As hard as you can?

Please?

Sorry for the long text, I just felt the need to tell you and get it out, you probably already heard the same thing a thousand times before.

Well, I hope you are happy and healthy!

Enjoy your very well-deserved vacation with your man!!!

Love u 💜

hiii welcome!!! that's so exciting omfg!!

i've been told i'm gonna hear from a lot of therapists jdkdjd i'll add you to the list lol... any chance any of your therapists can take me on? lololol

it's sooo fair that it was a lot to get through the depression chapters, it definitely was for me too! i also took frequent breaks writing it and you do not have to apologise at all for not commenting earlier!!

thank you so much for your kind words! it was so important to me to portray this in the most caring way i possibly could and my betas definitely helped me a lot in achieving that!

maro!!! yes!!! heard her for the first time while watching esc and i've been hooked ever since!! her voice!!! her songs!!! everything about her is so beautiful!!! and portuguese as a language is so pretty???

that song!!! oh my god it's gorgeous!! i listened to it last night just before going to bed and it made me feel so peaceful!! thank you for sharing 💗

lmaoooo i could offer you a hug instead of stepping on you? jdjdjdj

and you don't have to say sorry for sending long messages!! i love them!!! i thrive on them!! and i love hearing everyone's thoughts and feelings about my writing so thank you so so much for that!!

I hope you are happy and healthy too!!

thank youuu i gotta wait two more weeks for my vacation but i'm so excited!!!

love you 💗

[weather-cluddy]

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that Shidou and Kazui would be thrilled if they could just hug it out. But diplomacy was the first thing they tried, and it got them a flat rejection, so I'm saying that if, hypothetically, Mikoto insisted that they needed to keep pushing on it instead of planning for an attack (because he's uncomfortable with violence and with his own role in the situation), that'd probably wouldn't get very far with them.

If you look at the convo from Kazui's birthday, it's clear that Kazui's current plan is to physically stop Kotoko. Otherwise statements like "As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you" and "If you mean to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets." don't make sense. Why would Kazui being physically restrained make his arguments less persuasive?

You say that diplomacy is only feasible now that Kotoko can't just attack anybody who approaches, but it's not like being physically incapable of it is going to make her automatically more receptive to the idea of not attacking the guilty. And if Kotoko isn't willing to come to the negotiatig table at all, then the only difference between now and later is the higher risk of injury.

Plus the thing is that neither Shidou or Kazui have anything to offer her in exchange. At most Kazui could escalate and say "Well, if you start attacking people I'll break your arms and legs. If you don't, I'll kindly refrain from doing so. Is that persuasive enough for you?". But even if we assume he's that much stronger than Kotoko, he really doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do that.

And the only thing that leaves is trying to make Kotoko feel bad, and that's not gonna happen because her ethics tell her she's 100% in the right and those trying to persuade her otherwise are evil liars. So, at the very least, plan Bs are necessary.

The thing about Mikoto going to negotiate was just a fun idea, to be clear. I don't really think it's canon, though I'm also not sure why "Mikoto knows that Kotoko can't attack him right now" contradicts "Mikoto wants to build up goodwill with Kotoko in hopes of eventually negotiating a truce". As you said, this would be the best time to talk with her, or at least the safest.

I'm also not sure that it's canon that the prisoners know about the new rule, actually. According to Haruka, "Kotoko said she currently had no intention of attacking anyone". That doesn't sound like he thinks she's being forced to stay her hand.

Even Kotoko only talks about Kazui stopping her, not her being delayed until past the time limit or something like that. She does say she's waiting until "next time", but that's not necessarily the same as saying she knows about the rule. Perhaps she only feels entitled to act in Es' stead when they're not awake to make their own decisions, or perhaps she's decided that she needs to make preparations first if she's to decisively defeat Kazui and Mikoto.

I'm not necessarily saying those reasons are canon, but I do believe there's enough ambiguity to argue whether all, some or none of the prisoners actually know about the new rule. They didn't get told about the rule against attacking the guard, after all, so there's a fair chance they weren't told about this one either.

As for Haruka and Muu, have they even interacted at all with Mikoto since the first trial? Even back then, the newest convos I can find are from before Weakness' release. Haruka does mention talking to Mikoto in his T1 VD, but even then that only moves the date of their latest confirmed interaction by two weeks.

Of course, that only accounts for T1 interactions. In T2, we get... confirmation that Haruka has been intentionally avoiding Mikoto. Even if we assume that it stopped after that conversation, that means they're just returning to the pre-T2 status quo, not that they're getting closer. And there are zero interactions with Muu at all, unless you count her saying that all the guilty prisoners are horrible thugs who deserve whatever they get (which, again, doesn't make them sound very close).

Also, while I understand that Haruka may be a slightly unreliable narrator when he says that "everyone but Kotoko" is staying close to Shidou (presumably Amane is not included there), it seems weird to assume that he's wrong about his own actions. Surely he knows at least that much?

I disagree with the idea that him and Muu are totally certain that they're gonna get voted innocent. I mean, Haruka literally has a breakdown where he endlessly repeats "Please forgive Muu". That doesn't sound very confident to me. And Muu has those lines near the end of It's Not My Fault that show a sudden fear of being voted guilty.

But even if that weren't true, I really don't think they'd appreciate having Mikoto show up to describe how horrible being voted guilty really is so they can prepare themselves. I mean, it's pretty much saying that he thinks they're gonna get guilty votes. Muu would absolutely cry and start yelling at Mikoto; it's not gonna make him feel helpful or wanted.

I also don't think he'd really want to describe just how bad of a time he's having. I'm not super clear on what your position is on this: at first it seemed like you were disagreeing about Mikoto not liking to talk about his troubles, but then it looked like you were agreeing? Just to be clear, I'm not saying he'd totally clam up when asked directly, just that he wouldn't really open himself up emotionally or go into detail.

I also believe we had a misunderstanding with the last section. I'm not accusing Mikoto of being useless, I'm describing how and why he might feel useless. I'm also not refering to him intervening during the T1-T2 transition, but (hypothetically) during the T2-T3 transition.

Why was Shidou's response to Mikoto's response to"his" own guilty verdict to just stop smoking- Like what the fuck did Mikoto's mood have to do with that?

Q.07 Are there any fellow prisoners you are on good terms with?

Shidou: Since Mikoto has ended up like 'that', I became unable to smoke as well. I feel lonely that the smoking group as disbanded.

Like sir you can still fucking smoke- The smoking area is still there. How is this solely on Mikoto, my guy? Like Mikoto became standoffish during the intermission then Shidou really went "It's not the same without Mikoto here better to stop smoking."

My guy, you did this to be unhealthy. What does Mikoto being there or not have to do with anything?! Like, did they- they really just stopped smoking until Mikoto was in a better mood- Because we see him smoking with Mikoto in the art from the Milgram app. So, Shidou really went, "If Mikoto doesn't come over and start casually having small talk with us, is smoking even worth the damage to my body anymore?"

Which is a wild implication. Just completely out there- Especially since it's implied Kazui just fucking stopped too!

The smoking club really was just Mikoto carrying all conversation and these two awkward old men playing along. The whole club was dissolved because Mikoto got hit with the heaviest guilty verdict of round one. That's wild.