#fatal and mephisto is kamiki's song

[yuseirra]

Ch 160 ..let me jot down my stream of consciousness about what I feel, my reading comprehension skills can't be that bad, it'd help if I can sit down and think through a little more.

+ Okay, I'm complete! I understand things much better now!! Upon close examination, This chapter doesn't change anything so dramatically.

IT STILL DOES NOT ANSWER JUST WHAT THE DAD'S MOTIVES ARE, but... the conclusion I have after having reread it thoroughly??

It's that my interpretation of him as a mild guy still stands—it enhances it, even. He's still really kind, which is a pretty surprising conclusion compared to what I felt about it at first glance.

He's.. really kind and considerate. I'm serious. wow.

well, analysis/interpretation below!

I was spoiled about chapter way back sometime last Friday, right? and it was pretty accurate in sense, with it being just some bunch of sentences and that one really creepy panel.. it does help to see the actual art and the expressions that are associated with the dialogues.

Now that I sit down a bit, there are two different interpretations of the same story: Kamiki's testimonies on what's happened (I believe these are all truths. They perfectly match up with how I've interpreted his character all along.) and Aqua's takes on them.

I'm not reading things off the english version btw, so the dialogues may differ.

According to what Kamiki says,

-he considered Ryosuke and Nino as good people and as friends. But they approached him because they were obsessed with Ai, so he didn't know about their true colors.

-so he was able to talk about his breakup with her and talked about whether if he should visit her having children at the hospital where Gorou was. They went and killed Gorou, but Kamiki had no idea about that.

-on the day Ai died, he was still unsure about meeting her because he lacked the courage to see her face (god he's timid) so he asked Ryosuke to give her his bouquet on his behalf

I KEPT SAYING THIS GUY NEVER HAS IT IN HIM TO "SCARE AI!!!!!!!!!" HE LIED IN 154 OUT OF GUILT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT AI AND AQUA WANTED REVENGE ON HIM!!! SEE!!! I'VE BEEN!!! RIGHT!!!! I'VE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!

This was already in the leaks last Fri, I basically felt the same way about these back then

and I got every part of these right except for the part that Kamiki befriended them. I just couldn't picture the people who killed Ai or would actively go hunt their daughter down being his friend..

but seeing how.. much he seems to trust people, he used to be that way as a child, it actually all ties so nicely together.

I predicted that it was Nino and Ryosuke who went to the hospital and killed Gorou.

I predicted that Kamiki just wanted to send the bouquet to congratulate Ai but he couldn't go because he was nervous/sad from the phone call. I said that ever since I started drawing hikaai fanarts, you would have seen me going on and on about that, I drew them with this as the base!!!! The guy Ai chose wouldn't do such a thing as trying to get back at her!!! See??

I couldn't be more right!!! I am a prophet!! I should trust myself!!!! why am I so unsure of myself, really. I really, really did get everything right.

These must be all true. He's not lying about any of this. I've been analyzing this guy very very thoroughly so I know what I'm talking about.

I guess what's confused me was the latter bits, since Fri and even after I see the full images.

Kamiki smiles and says he never wanted to hurt anyone<this is really how I view him as well, this guy can't hurt people out of his own will...

However, Aqua dismisses Kamiki's statements as lies on the spot, and accuses him of having been unable to protect his own daughter. That he's been intentionally manipulated people to get what he wants. That would involve him causing people to kill each other without dirtying his hands.

Upon hearing Aqua stating "You wanted to kill your own daughter", Kamiki makes this really eerie smile (I kind of wish this is redrawn hshsh.. it looks like he's a demon spawn from hell, but this could REALLY be him being distressed yet AGAIN. this guy SMILES when he's that way. That's his coping mechanism. It's kind of hard to stare at that expression but that smile certainly ISN'T a happy one like the one we saw in 159. This is a really confusing habit he has. People are going to take him the wrong way but; sadly, it's become a habit of his...)

The scenes then shifts to visions of him manipulating nino and Ryosuke into doing what they've done with a smile. If this is really what's happened, then he IS someone pretty evil-

but now that I read it over I think that's just based on Aqua's interpretations about the guy.

Is what's being portrayed in those pages ACTUALLY how he is? Just yesterday, I theorized that Kamiki loves his children and has been doing whatever he's been doing for his children. I did have my reasons for making that claim.

We still don't know what his motives are!! Aqua doesn't state anything about why Kamiki would do such a thing if he's done so. Does he know anything about this??? Just what reason would make it.. enough to have someone kill the love of their life and their very daughter? What good would it do for Kamiki? For one thing, does he have ANY good reason to kill Ai at all? For having felt betrayed?? Then why wait out that long????? Killing their daughter? After having her live for, how long now? how old are they now? 15?? 16? Why now? Why would he??

The important thing would be just WHY he'd be doing all those things if he's really been so, so WHAT IS IT AQUA?? WHAT??

Forgot to mention this but in the beginning of the chapter, we have kamiki saying, Hm, but what did I do? Did I "stab someone?" did I "push someone off a cliff?" I never "did" "anything".

Then we have Nino going "Kamiki-san didn't do anything. He just talked about Ai. He talked about her so we(her and Ryosuke) wouldn't forget about her. That was enough to make us break."

OH come on. COME ON. HUH. I feel like he's never told them anything bad about Ai, he probably let out how much he loved and misses her, because he thought they were her fan and coworkers as a fellow member, I bet he was happy to befriend people who knew about Ai because they share a common interest together. With it being his favorite person in the world even while he was dumped.

What a stupid reason, Nino. You brought everything upon yourself. I can see that now.

I do think.. kamiki has some sort of power that causes people to grow insane or act out, that could have had some influence on ryosuke and nino in a way...

but again, why would he try to kill his lover and his daughter even if he can use it with his own accord??? Even if he's using those powers now?? Would he use it to do those respective things?

Even if he has those, that shouldn't be all there is to it. According to Kamiki, they were already obsessed with Ai when they approached him and YEAH! Makes sense?? They came to him first, probably already aware that he was Ai's lover?? He isn't responsible for them hoarding those kinds of feelings!!

Coming to think of it, I find it really strange that he still hung with nino being the complete wreck she is. Oh wait, I guess he still could. Ryosuke killed Ai and Nino doesn't seem to have played a part with that. Nino was there with Ryosuke when Gorou died but she's not the one who's pushed him off a cliff. Ryosuke's the really...horrible one. He had a pretty gf like nino JUST WHY. Then again, nino was obsessed w Ai too so they were a match. I guess Kamiki hanged with Nino thinking she's just another victim who wants Ai back or whatever. He still hangs with her when she says that are super creepy like she can't forgive Ruby if she surpasses Ai though.. Perhaps he's really bad at letting people go.. OH, YEAH. He was always pretty attached to people as a child. Okay, I got that part cleared up on my own. Stream of consciousness is like this. It can happen.

Continuing on!! Aqua says Kamiki is a "despicable, selfish liar, worse than a murderer". Even Kamiki can't smile hearing that. If he ISN'T one, then that'd hurt.

Well, he responds again, saying:

"Ah, yes. You're the same way as I am. You share those same eyes I have. The type of eyes that grant the power to persuade others into believing you. The eyes that grant you charisma, befitting that of a star." Then we see a panel with Ai, "The eyes of liars, that fool, and make others submit to you"

he must be thinking of what Ai's told him when she talked to him about having the same eyes. (CH 140)

"You've been inciting people just like I have, right? Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?"

"It must have felt good to use your talents to impact the lives of others, right?"

I'm not sure if this is a taunt/mockery or just him stating the facts as a liar/a black star user himself.

If he's thinking about Ai... then it can be the latter. She approached him saying "they are the same". He could be thinking about that.

Actually, he's strangely calm. His emotions are a bit hard to read on this one, I'd say it actually feels collected compared to what he's heard.

This could actually be sympathy or empathy...

I didn't take it that way when I first encountered it, so I felt.. Kamiki could be lashing out a bit but no. That doesn't seem to be it.

Hey, he really never gets angry. He actually looks a bit sad depending on how you look at it, I think he may be feeling a sense of guilt in that particular panel where he says "Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?", the one where he glances down,

just like how he talked to Aqua in 152, "It's a lie, isn't it? it's because they're important that you keep your distance from them. why would you go that far to bottle yourself up?"

This guy understands his son really well. In fact, I think he may be trying to say, "we're the same=I understand the way you are, we're on the same track" the way Ai's done for him. That's what was his salvation.

Aqua does not take this well.

He says yeah, we're both terrible beings, but Ruby is "different".

Oh, and the rest.. what's stood out to me is the panel where Aqua goes,

"sending love to the one who desires for love" as he describes what Ruby is doing. Kamiki shows up in that panel.. This is what Ai wanted to do for him.

and there's a panel that comes up that shows Ai with the twins that follows right after saying:

"it's the eyes of the one who desires to love someone"

This is really sad. I think that page actually indicates Ai desired to love him while he desired to be loved from Ai. That happened both ways. It was a nice page.

Yeah, and Aqua points his knife to his dad like a toy gun saying

"You must disappear right here and now, for Ruby's sake."

I don't think Aqua's actually up to stabbing him, actually? If he's pointing the knife at him like that, I think it's more like he's warning him to stay out of their way forever, scram, or just go die off on his own.

Both of his eyes are white, he's not going to kill him with his own hands, rather, he's going to make him go away.

So I don't think next chapter would start on a fierce note? Kamiki does not seem like a guy that gets agitated so easily. He STILL never once got angry in this chapter as well. He's still pretty sweet to his son. I'm not being biased on this, the way he talks has always been really soft. If this were to be an anime, you'd hear how he'd talk and see whether if he has thorns in them but I don't think it's that way at least, I think he's trying to be understanding??

This guy is soft. He will not put up a fight. I don't know, he may jump off that bridge and try to die maybe. If that's what his son wants? Move out of the way? He doesn't seem.. angry about it all. He's not even protesting.

In the end, the only thing that got proven in this chapter was that Kamiki DID NOT DO ANYTHING IN A PHYSICAL SENSE, AND HE DIDN'T TRY TO SCARE AI.

the fact about him manipulating people and lying to get his way, I think there's low chance of it being applied for Ruby and Ai's case.

I think he really didn't have a clue Nino would attack Ruby? If he's considered her as a friend?

what are the basis of Aqua picturing him that way? He must really hate his dad. There is no way he could have seen such things happen. Unless Tsukuyomi told him about it?? there is no proof that it's what's actually been taken place. Kamiki could have incited people, or influenced others, yeah, but I don't think he did anything to Ai or his daughter. Again, I think he loves his family. Why wouldn't he??

Until things get cleared up more, I???? I ACTUALLY?? think Kamiki's taking it in a really calm manner despite all the things he's being accused of??

This is very long, but that is all for now!!

Oh, this was worth revisiting and analyzing. There's a lot more I see when I scrutinize it like this!!

[yuseirra]

My beloved Fatale

[yuseirra]

あなたがいないと生きていけない 何もかも捧げてしまってもいい あなたの愛がまだ足らない 欠けたものは何で埋めたらいい？

You know, I just had the weirdest idea ever,

I've noticed how the song "Mephisto" and the new op "Fatale" has lyrics like:

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine(Mephisto)

I can't live without you I could give you everything Your love is still not enough What can I make up for what's missing(Fatale)

What if this is written from Kamiki's perspective? I wondered just what importance the gods have in this story, they're implied to have a role but they haven't really been doing much... what if Kamiki had this wish to revive Ai, and is murdering other stars as sacrifices to the gods in order to make that a reality? I honestly don't think he'd have intended for Ai's death at this point, from the stuff I've seen, she was sort of his everything and she probably is still. It wouldn't be a surprise if he feels like that. I still have to learn more about this character to talk about him better, and I might be making a fool of myself but I'm free to make all the wrong guesses now lol

If this is the case, he'd sort of be like a more extreme version of Aqua(since mephisto and fatale seems to be written from aqua's perspective as well) Aqua thinks he's done the unforgivable but well...now there's someone who ACTUALLY went too far.

I know this seems cheesy but I just..can't see how the gods will be tied into the story. They're mentioned time to time but what are they even up to? The manga is ending and they'll never be acknowledged at this rate, why are they even mentioned then? I bet they do have something to do with Kamiki and his motives, he did say he had something to do...

[yuseirra]

ONK Relationship Parallels- an Analysis!!

In short, in terms of the Aqua-Kana and Kamiki-Ai relationship, it's actually Kamiki who's similar to Kana in that relationship while Ai is to Aqua.

Also, out of the twins, Ruby is the one who resembles the dad in many ways in terms of psychology and behavior, even compared to Aqua. Aqua is the one who takes after Ai in many situations and I find it really clever... they do take after both their parents, of course. But I think their base personality is that the daughter takes after the dad while the son takes after the mother.

I wrote about that aspect today! I think it's really interesting, so I'd like for you to read it!

While skimming through the "Oshi no Ko" manga, I found something really interesting:

If we try to compare the relationship between Kamiki and Ai to Aqua and Akane's relationship, it's pretty straightforward that Kamiki is in Aqua's position and Ai is in Akane's position. (To some extent, Akane has the feeling of wanting to protect Aqua, to take care of him, and to hope that he lives well.)

But if we compare Aqua and Kana's positions, it's surprisingly Kana who is in Kamiki's position, and Aqua who is in Ai's position. There are subtle parallels between them (an attempted/experienced sexual exploitation by an older person—though I'm not sure if this was intentional; the side who received a meal during a date (and Ai-Aqua being the one who doesn't usually dress up but does so for the occasion); the desire to be noticed by the other person—if we consider Fatal as Kamiki's song, there's a recurring theme of "look at me" in the lyrics, and that song is indeed associated with that character!! Kana is all about wanting to have Aqua look at her too; receiving praise from the other person for being "shiny"). And, of course, Kana received quite a bit of help from Aqua. However, just as Kana occasionally does so for Aqua, the idea of "pulling someone out of the darkness" fits Ai’s role concerning Kamiki.

Also, among the twins, I’ve had a vague sense that Kamiki’s personality resembles Ruby's more than Aqua's.

After reading Volume 13, that feeling grew stronger. Kamiki’s past is extremely tragic, and he brings misfortune with him. People around him die a lot. There’s something tied to the divine, perhaps? If you carefully read the manga, several comments hint that something is up with Ruby. If one of the twins is born with the talent of being a "star" and is befitting to be one, it would be Ruby. Regarding this, Kana feels an inferiority complex about Ruby, and Memcho also mentions there’s something special about Ruby. When Ruby decides to become popular, she draws everyone’s attention instantly, and even Miyako doesn’t doubt Ruby’s potential to rise. If someone was chosen by the gods out of the twins, it would be Ruby... Though it’s a given both were chosen. It does seem that both Kamiki and Ruby have some divine connection. They both lived extremely unfortunate lives, with people around them dying, while they survive. When it comes to them, events unfold in ways too peculiar to be mere coincidence. I feel like Kamiki's being cursed by a god while Ruby could be being favored by one, but the one cursing Kamiki might also be "blessing" him in an unpredictable way? Anyhow he's tied to "a star that ruins lives" if we take what Fatal is saying at face value- and I think we actually CAN at this point. Stars are so important in this series.

Ruby’s line, "I only bring misfortune,"(CH 121-122) is something Kamiki could likely say as well (if you look at that character’s life, it really seems like he drags misfortune along with him). Kamiki never mentions his family, nor they have any appearance in the plot which suggests that, like Sarina’s case, even if he had a family, he was completely neglected. (Their kid’s going through things, but what are his parents doing..?); the idea of working hard for years out of a desire to see someone again (if "Mephisto"/"Fatal" is indeed that character’s song); the longing to be loved...

If Ai were alive and they figured it out the way Aqua reveals it to Ruby, this character might have broken down and cried like Ruby did... The same could be said for Aqua, though.

Ai has a firmer personality, while Kamiki has a softer side. Even when Ruby turned dark, she couldn’t actually harm others. In that case, how broken could Kamiki be? It feels like he might have been indirectly involved in things rather than directly. If Ai were alive, she probably would’ve somehow prevented him from walking down a path that didn’t suit his nature (and from what I sense, she did ultimately defend him from completely going down that path through the video she's left). When Aqua shows the keychain and says, “This doesn’t suit you, so I hope you give up on this path,” Ruby immediately returns to having the white star eyes again. This is similar to how Kamiki pulls himself together after watching Ai’s video after the movie arc. The effect is almost instantaneous for both Ruby and Kamiki. Of course, if seeing that didn’t change his mind in such a way, it would’ve been ineffective in the first place...

Ai’s way of dealing with situations involves hiding her feelings... Though she smiles brightly, she kept a distance and hid things deeply. On the other hand, Kamiki pretends there’s no darkness, acting as if everything is bright, and approaches others cheerfully. This resembles how Aqua and Ruby deal with things, in that respective order. So, there’s definitely a part of Aqua that takes after Ai and Ruby that takes after their father.

(clarifying this after an inquiry: Ai and Hikaru's very similar in that they form masks and pretend they're happy and fine- that's what drew them together and it is what they share in common. The details about it are a bit different though. Ai grows distant to people while Hikaru wants to get attached to people. In terms of attachment theory, Ai leans more on the avoidant type and Hikaru is the anxious type. So Ai forms a mask to appear as if "she's okay" but fails to rely in others when she needs it- whereas Hikaru does that to receive love and affection to fill his emptiness. That's how he keeps approaching others but gets used up and exploited whereas, nobody in B-Komachi could become so close to Ai, nor have anyone really understand her and feel she was mysterious and secretive. In terms of this, the way Aqua and Ruby act parallels them. Aqua avoids letting others learn behind his mask and keeps his distance to keep them and himself from getting hurt, whereas Ruby tried her best to be a good child when she was Sarina. She was attached to her mother and craved love the way Hikaru was towards people.

+Amaterasu is the sun goddess, and I found that Sarutahiko, the husband of Ame-no-Uzume, was a native sun god worshiped in the region before Amaterasu. As the influence of the faction believing in Amaterasu grew stronger, Sarutahiko’s influence diminished, and he gave up his position. So, Ruby and Kamiki are both connected to the sun. The description of Sarutahiko having a shining body in their legends seems to be a remnant of being a sun deity. Kana is also compared to the sun, and as mentioned earlier, when comparing Aqua-Kana and Kamiki-Ai, Kamiki often corresponds to Kana’s position. Even their names start similarly with "Ka"- Kamiki and Kana, and "A." Aqua and Ai.

++ Aqua’s pattern of intentionally distancing himself from those he cares about (continuously pushing Kana away, trying to distance himself from Ruby) is similar to what Ai did with Kamiki. Kamiki also misunderstood and thought Ai didn’t like him, that he wasn’t needed like everyone else, and was hurt and saddened. That's really similar to the way Kana thought about Aqua although they made up pretty fast. While Kamiki and Aqua share similar thought processes, Aqua resembles Ai, and Ruby or Kana resembles Kamiki in the way they handle situations and the emotions they experience. It's fascinating and clever if you think about it.

There seem to be a lot of parallels. If this was done intentionally, the author is really smart...

There’s a lot to uncover in this manga if you look at it carefully. I think this manga is best read all at once in volumes. Then, surprisingly, the structure doesn’t seem bad at all. The author must have had a lot of thoughts in mind...

Tsukuyomi’s family also doesn’t seem to be very good, the way she briefly describes how they aren't so normal in CH127 and Ai and Kamiki’s family environments were the worst, weren’t they?

It makes me think that the families of gods or those possessed by gods turn out to be miserable. Do their families have a hard time accepting them for some reason? Maybe because the essence of these children is far from ordinary? In my opinion, the lyric "(Ai is the) reincarnation of the brightest star" wasn’t just thrown there. The English version of IDOL also mentions Ai being the "brightest star reborn indeed", "the brightest star is residing in you(Ai)" and Kamiki is probably similar to her in aspect… I think those characters' true essence is divine. The mythological elements fit together too well.

Maybe when Tsukuyomi selects souls to reincarnate she picks those with unfortunate family backgrounds for this reason? So many thoughts come to mind.

It doesn’t seem like these traits are mere coincidences.

+Based on the songs and subtle hints, it really seems like Kamiki was REALLY planning to die, but stopped after hearing Ai’s words…

Even though the hints are vague, does this character really have any reason to want to continue on living in the first place?; It feels like he was planning to do something related to Ai and then die, but after hearing Ai’s words, he couldn’t go through with it because Ai wouldn't want it. It seems like he stopped immediately and came back… That's... really sad.

The manga doesn’t show exactly what happened, but I think Ai probably did something for this character that’s very similar to what Aqua did for Ruby or what Kana did for Aqua (I don’t think it could be anything else).

Whether they’ll show this in the story or just gloss over it... I doubt it will be the latter, right?;; I really need them to depict this if they're going to throw songs like Mephisto and Fatal out there. I'm WAITING...

There's another analysis I wrote regarding WHY Ai contacted Kamiki through the phone booth but also reacted a bit harsh to the idea of reconciling: I wrote another post about it earlier, but I'll do it again!

It’s really important that Ai was the one who contacted her boyfriend first. I’m not sure if others think the same way I do, but the fact that this character reached out shows just how much she trusted and liked her boyfriend. I pointed this out even before Chapter 154 came out, WAY before, when I wrote my first analysis about her character. If she didn’t like him, she could’ve just continued to stay away. And it turns out that she didn’t contact him because she liked him too much—she disappeared because she didn’t want to be a burden. So, if she didn’t care for him/or cared about him- either way, she could’ve just stayed out of touch like she had, but why did she decide to reach out?

In short, it’s because she heard the kids talking negatively about their father. It wasn’t just because she was worried they were getting some bizarre ideas like her giving birth all alone without the dad(although that could have been part of it). Letting the father know about the kids and bringing him into their home was a risky move from Ai’s perspective. After all, she was calling a man she had parted ways with years ago into a home where it was just her and her two little four-year-olds. It would be difficult to handle any unexpected situation in such a state.

But Ai wasn’t worried about that at all.

Ai had a good understanding of Kamiki’s personality. She probably has way more information than the readers do, having spent so much time watching and living with him. So, the Kamiki Ai envisioned wasn’t someone who would ever harm her or her precious, carefully hidden children in any way.

On the contrary, Kamiki was someone she wanted to show the children to, someone she hoped could clear up their misunderstandings. When Ai talks about Kamiki, you can tell she really, really, really loves him. I know that’s true. It’s definitely true. The words that come out of her mouth is SO strong. You can't say things like that unless you find the other person so endearing, especially with someone who was deeply hurt by people by the way she was.

She thought it wasn't good for her kids to have a negative reaction when they think of their father, or to say things like “there’s no such thing as a man” when he’s mentioned.

Ai knew her kids were smart and figured they would get along well with their father if they met him. She thought they would accept each other well, and that Kamiki would like her bright kids too, so she contemplated it and then decided to call him, feeling it would be the better option.

If you think about it, back when they first met, Ai invited Kamiki into her home right away. She wasn’t wary of him at all… she treated him very differently from others. And nothing bad happened at that time either.

The conclusion we can draw from this is that Kamiki, in normal circumstances, could never harm Ai or the children. That character just can't do something like that, it's NOT his nature. Even though he was young, he would have turned out to be a pretty decent parent.

But why didn’t they stay together? Because a scandal would’ve hindered Kamiki’s future.

I noticed Ai only completed junior high school... It seems she dropped out after having the children... That’s heartbreaking.

Did Kamiki continue going to school?; Anyway, at that time, they were both still very young—neither of them had even turned 20. If they had officially gotten together, it would’ve attracted a lot of attention. Would it have just looked like they were dating?; Japan seems to frown heavily on idols being in relationships, right? I suppose it’s the same in other countries too?;

Ai left thinking everything would be fine as long as they weren’t linked to him, then raised the children on her own till that day. She eventually ended up contacting him again, however, to resolve the misunderstandings their precious children had about the dad... If they had gotten back together at that point, it would’ve made their breakup meaningless… I think that was what was going on her mind. She can't give the answer he wants and say they can get together in that situation. But she still wants to show him the kids. You have to think about that. It didn't occur to Kamiki either, and Aqua's "revenge"... well, I guess that's about him having missed her intent on that aspect. It's not entirely Kamiki's fault, Ai's really blunt about a lot of things and it backfires in a terrible way... but what she says can mean more things than one, it sometimes has more than what can be taken the way it's said in a direct sense. Ai is really caring. And she was really loving. "The god who loves people" is definitely linked to her in some way...

[yuseirra]

**onk spoilers!!**

The speaker of Mephisto and Fatal is a very lonely and hollow person. I've noticed this parallel in the two song's lyrics

生まれつきたっての底そこなし born with a level of depravity

生うまれつきだってば底そこなし born of the abyss (Mephisto)

どれほどの幸福こうふくを注そそいだとしても no matter how much happiness you pour into it 満みたされることのない a vessel that will never be filled (Fatal)

was Aqua ever this deprived since birth? I don't think this description applies to him as well as it does for Kamiki...

And Fatal's lyrics describe that it was Ai that's filled them up, they believed it's her that'd fill up their darkness but eventually made them to be in the shadows

てを孤独こどくから救すくう眩まぶしい

a dazzling light that saves everything from loneliness

にだけ落おちる影かげはあなたのせい？ the shadow that only falls on me, is it your fault? (Fatal)

and she's what's hurt them. but she's still what they're heavily attached to(this is why I think the speaker is hikaru. Aqua would not blame her or refer to her as a cause for his sufferings).

まって歪ゆがんでしまった傷きずさえEven the wounds that have been twisted and tangled くれたのはあなただけ、あなただけ you were the only one who gave them to me, only you

お願ねがい、僕ぼくを見みていて、僕ぼくを見みていて Please, please, let me hear your voice (Fatal)

since Ai was the one that could alleviate and tend to their pain

っただろう？

How many times have I wished?

僕ぼくの胸むねで 膿うみ続つづけている傷きずを撫なでる手てを

a hand caressing the wound that festers in my chest(Fatal)

I have a feeling this is really similar to the type of relationship Kamiki's had with Ai (or envisioned her as) when they were together..

and there's this part about Ai bringing the speaker to "embrace their fate" that's already been set

かれた目め、もがれた翼はね、創造的そうぞうてき堕天だてん

burnt eyes, torn wings, creative fallenness

あらゆる視界しかいをジャックその輝かがやきはエゴイスティック

Jacking up every vision, its sparkle is egoistic

胸むねの奥おく仕舞しまった感情かんじょうさえ引ひっ張ぱり出だして昇華しょうかして

Even the feelings that have been buried deep in my heart are pulled out and subliminated

僕ぼくという運命うんめいを全部ぜんぶ抱だきしめていく

attempting to embrace the fate that is me

固かたく定さだまったこの宿命しゅくめい

This fate that has been firmly set in stone

this'd make sense if he's set his heart do something after having lost her, Aqua has a very strong drive too, but burnt eyes, torn wings? is his fate "set in stone"?

Either way, this song seems to be hinting at something. Something is up regarding "fate".

Yeah this song... just screams kamiki to me. It works with him really well somehow

[yuseirra]

I've been thinking over this god thing over and there's another idea I have related to it!

Earlier I've said that ame-no-uzume(god of the arts) and her husband sarutahiko(the great bright god) may be related to Ai and Hikaru.

Their story might also have been inspired from Izanagi and Izanami and they're very famous, so I believe I wouldn't have to explain a whole lot, (and I bet there are people who know it in more depth) but.. Izanagi and Izanami (the creator gods of Japanese Mythology) have Amaterasu(the sun god), Tsukuyomi(the moon god) and Susanoo(the god of the sea and storms) as their children. Ruby has something to do with Amaterasu and we have a girl who goes by Tsukuyomi as a character, Aqua, with the full name being "Aquamarine" has a name that has to do with the sea.

The reason I've brought this up is because of the lore between Izanagi and Izanami. Izanami dies, and Izanagi tries to bring her back to life but fails. It rings a bell, right?

Yes, this story of theirs also aligns with the things that have been mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal. Those songs revolve around a person who desperately wants to meet their love again (who's likely passed away) but cannot.

I've been wondering just why the ED's title was named Mephisto. Mephisto is the name of the devil, right? When you have a wish and the devil in the same picture, it means there's some kind of pact.

If the person singing in the song's been kamiki (which I've been pretty much stressing over and over through multiple posts now) it'd mean he's had gone through something like that too, to revive the one he loves.

This could be why there is a "stage" that's mentioned in BOTH of the songs, he's in a deal that he can't back out from.

この舞台で足掻くことをやめない

I will not stop to struggle on this stage(Fatal)

だけどステージが逃がさない いついつまでも憧れ　焦がれているよ

But the stage won’t let go I'll keep yearning and longing forever(Mephisto)

At this point, I'm so sure kamiki HAS done something to bring Ai back. He's made some sort of sacrifice for Ai it seems, he's probably made wishes regarding it, that come with a price but he didn't really care about his life in the first place after she's gone so he was willing to risk it. The efforts were probably in vain, though. But it could be really close to being granted if something's "filled in"

あなたがいないと生きていけない 何もかも捧げてしまってもいい あなたの愛がまだ足らない 欠けたものは何で埋めたらいい？

Without you, I cannot live anymore I would sacrifice anything for you I can’t get enough of your love What should I use to fill in what’s missing?(Fatal)

compared to Mephisto, Fatal seems more.. eager? energetic? but in an insane way. The speaker is actively doing something to fulfill their end goal. That's why I feel kamiki's missions are probably close to finish- he's all right with dying after having completed it

but in ch 154 he's heard that Ai wants to "help him" along with her children. and that she loved him dearly. This is going to leave him so devastated and conflicted lol because he's probably way past hope at this point. He can't be saved. He can't fulfill what Ai wants, that's going to make him very miserable. That's my guess. It's like everything he's doing had him stray even further off from what Ai wants.

Or it could be that he can't give up on Ai EVEN MORE now since he KNOWS that she loves him back too. Who'd give up on someone like that? She was like the only person who understood him and loved him. I can totally see why he couldn't let her go after all these years (may it be twisted. there is still some ambiguity in his words and we can be backstabbed) she was the one for him and he was to her, too, at least that's how he's felt when they were together. So he'd do ANYTHING for her. That lines up very well with those lyrics too.

So yeah. If my speculations are right Kamiki's so doomed... and doomed because of all the things he did that he thought was for Ai. Aligns with the respective mythologies too~.. I'd be surprised if these have NOTHING to do with the plot that's going to be revealed in the future because it just WORKS. It starts making so much sense to me.

[yuseirra]

Okay so I read onk ch 154 and kamiki literally SAYS Ai was the girl he was willing to sacrifice his own life for. The phrasing is EXACTLY like that. That really lines up with what's being mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal about giving lives and all. Those must be HIS songs and I'm getting this idea that he still means what he says

Because, just when would he have thought about having to "sacrifice" his life for Ai? I don't think thoughts like that would've crossed his mind in the past when they were still young and together, there wasn't a need for something as "dire" as sacrifices then. It must be something that's came after

When they were dating, Ai was the one that was older and SHE was the one who's protected HIM. It looks like she was the one who had more control over the relationship too. She was the one who's probably made the sacrifices(with the breakup being one too, from her point of view) so what circumstance brought kamiki to say he was willing to do that for her? (Though, I get how he'd be like he'd be able to give anything for Ai, it can be inferred that he was that attached to her) I'm sticking with my earlier guesses that he's actually doing that now and it has something to do with the gods (his name IS KAMIki + hikaru(light), right?)

Even Aqua's never said he'd give his life away FOR Ai's, did he? For her cause, and revenge, maybe, but Ai's already someone who's passed. I think the songs are really onto something. They sound too.. strong.. And a bit murky for it to be entirely from Aqua's perspective. It's going in even further than what's normally considered healthy, aren't they? It's about someone who's hopelessly lost and seeking for love. That's how Ai thought Kamiki was like too, she thought he was lost and needs saving.

Fatal's lyrics are too close to this guy's mental state, I just can't unsee it, seeing that new chapter having the same kind of stuff the lyrics are saying!! Makes me go this has to be it!! I think this should be it!! He's ACTUALLY thought about giving his own life for Ai at some point confirmed!! So shouldn't there be some things that leads up to/stems out from it?

I might embarrass myself later with these theories I'm throwing out later but I gotta say.. Try listening to Fatal and Mephisto picturing it's kamiki that's singing it, it clicks.

[yuseirra]

Oshi no ko spoilers!!

Continuation from this post:

My thoughts are going wild rn thinking of just what exactly kamiki's motives may be.

I thought about Ai a lot when I listened to the song IDOL, and I'm pretty positive Mephisto would have to do with him(the final lines of this song should be something that he says to his children. That much seems pretty clear)

But what if that entire song (and the new op) is from his perspective? Those two songs are crammed with craving and longing towards a loved one. Kamiki doesn't seem to be so attached to his life, in Mephisto, he even tells his children to "aim well" and this indicates he doesn't mind his own kids trying to take revenge on him, rather, he even go as far as encouraging it. He might even accept being punished/killed by their hands.

So why, and for what reason does he intend to do with harming people with life that's deemed to have great value if he is, if he feels that way about himself?

I think this'll have to do with his feelings towards Ai. He has an obsession with her and is still attached to her after all these years, right? The reason why he tries to make his own life(that he doesn't really care about;) have more value by making it carry heavy things through taking valuable ones.. Could be due to his reasoning to make it worthy of trading it off with Ai's as a tribute of some sort. That'd explain why he's so nonchalant about his own fate but still works to make his life to be "heavy" and carry a weight.

I'm getting this feeling after having seen some of the lyrics mentioning "wishes" and implications that there's something that needs to be met. And since Mephisto starts with the phrase "last chance", there seems to be a really slim chance of making that said wish come true. That could be what's been making kamiki take extreme measures, if he really has been.

あなたの愛がまだ足らない

欠けたものは何で埋めたらいい？

Your love is still not enough, what can I use to fill what's missing?(fatale)

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah

I don't care what happens to me

Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled

And if that’s not realized, I shall become you(mephisto)

Both Mephisto and Fatale seems to have lyrics that sound very desperate for love. The speaker of the songs really wants this one person they love back, to see them once more, to hear their voice and to look at them. This can apply to both Aqua and kamiki in terms of the feeling they have towards Ai, but Aqua's already had that from Ai and he doesn't need to be as desperate and craving about it, I think. It should be more about missing what he's once had with sorrow. However, this particular speaker in the songs makes it seem like love is the ONLY thing they want. They're willing to trade everything they have and even more to just get a chance to bring them back to them, which is quite extreme. The idea of their loved one loving them back doesn't come off as natural for them as Ai's love did for Aqua.

That's why I think these songs may have to do with kamiki. If this speculation really turns out to be true, then him and Ai could turn out to be like the couple from "The Gift of the Magi" from O'Henry. Ai could've left him because she wanted him to have a life of his own and have his happiness? but kamiki never understood that intent and aimed to throw away his life to trade for hers, giving up on his very happiness that ai tried to protect

it's like they tried to trade each other's life for the other and ended up with neither in the end. But I can be entirely wrong about all this. I feel this'd be interesting, if this is the case, kamiki may feel a lot of misery if what he's strived to do for Ai's sake made it impossible for him to fulfill her actual wishes. I'm sure Ai must've cared about this guy quite a bit, her relationship with kamiki seems like a mix of what aqua has with kana and akane. She would've wanted to support him like akane and bring him to the light like kana, but both of it didn't happen when she was alive. Aqua might be able to fulfill that wish of hers by telling Kamiki about how she really felt towards him.

The songs for this series are so interesting!! They may imply a lot of things we may not realize in first glance-even go as far as foreshadowing the plot. IDOL was and is like that, I'm sure the other songs do too. Listening to them may give us an idea of what is to unfold or what's been going on in some character's heads... for now, this is what I think that can be a possibility.

[yuseirra]

***onk spoilers!!!***

I think Kamiki may be trying to find something precious enough to trade with Ai's life, may it be his own or someone else's???

Coming to think of it, he met Ruby at the shrine (ch147) and something about a "wish" came up. The way he speaks with ruby, it seemed like he also had his own wish that he's put a lot of thoughts into and came to accept

Mephisto and Fatal both mention about wishes and wishing.

And those wishes have to do with wishing Ai back, are they not??

I'm sorry, I've been repeating the same idea in several posts now but I JUST remembered about that chapter. He's the one that brings the idea of gods back onto the table may it be brief. He talks like he knows about their nature, so he probably is aware of gods or their significance at least, that they actually ARE capable of doing supernatural things. However, Fatal and Mephisto also mention about wishes having failed to come true. That ALSO aligns with kamiki's attitude in that particular chapter saying that gods don't really give out answers and you have to come up with your own. Whatever he's up to, the gods might not have accepted it, or are even against it.

perhaps he's wished to bring Ai back but had been failing miserably, so he's becoming more and more reckless about it.

what he says there makes me wrap my head a little, it sounds like he's been where ruby's been. He might be talking about himself and trying to convince himself of his own resolve

He says he doesn't mind rotting away himself, but there's still something he has to do before that happens. I think that'd have to do with about a wish, he has a goal to fulfill.

I found the full lyric for Fatal(the new op) and it had lyrics like

あなたがいないと生いきていけない

眩まぶしさでこの身みを照てらして欲ほしい

あなたの愛あいがまだ足たらない

ただ一ひとつのアイに近ちかづきたい

I can't live without you

I want you to light up my body with your dazzling glare

I still lack your love

I want to get closer to the one and only Ai.

Aqua wants to get Ai's "revenge", he'd want to see Ai once more, yeah, but that isn't his goal, he doesn't work to meet her again. He plans to fulfill what Ai's really wanted by listening to what she's wanted to say

but the person in Mephisto (who is HUNGRY for Ai's affection) and Fatal actually WANTS to see Ai again, present tense.

あらゆる望のぞみの総すべてを叶かなえたら　ああ果はたせたら

あなたに会あいたい

If I could fulfill all my hopes, all my wishes, all my dreams, if I could make it all come true

I wish I could see you

But how IS this person going to make that happen?

I feel like finding someone that outshines Ai would have something to do with it, coming from how his reactions when he saw ruby having a chance to outshine Ai-

He feels happy about her possibility of her life having even more value than her.

He could just be being a proud dad there (I'm not taking that out of the possibility).. but you see where I'm trying to get at, right? He probably needs someone like that in order to fulfill his wish. Likely their life.

I think those lyrics from mephisto and fatal were there for a reason, those two songs are WAY too similar to each other in terms of the theme and the vibes they're giving. This speaker hasn't given up on the possibility of having Ai back, they talk like that is a thing that CAN happen, they keep.. talking towards them, even when the one they're talking to's already passed long ago. Look at me, You gave me time, Let me hear your voice.. stuff like that. That kind of attitude is more like Kamiki than Aqua. Kamiki talks about rotting away, he's never moved on from Ai's death, has he? It's like she's still alive for him?

Idk, I just really like those two songs. I have been repeating Fatal nonstop ever since I first listened to it yesterday and I can't get this thought out of my head. I'll keep thinking like this until I'm proven wrong, I guess o<-< I keep finding more stuff that may back it up and I can't stop...

[yuseirra]

**Oshi no ko spoilers** !!

I've been looking over the lyrics for onk S2 op "Fatale" since yesterday, and I'm getting this hunch that this song is from someone who is almost desperate for Ai's love, with her being the "Fatale". There could be multiple ways to interpret the song and I think it'd appear to reflect the perspectives of the many characters coming forth in this arc, but this is the first thought that comes into mind for me

It'd be natural to assume the speaker is Aqua, but what it says seems even more extreme than what he'd feel toward Ai, the lyric feels like there is a huge longing to the point of obsession. This person is willing to give everything up for their love and is declaring they can't survive without them, the type of love aqua has for ai is different, I feel. It should be more tender and familial.

I think it'd make sense for this song to be written fron hikaru's perspective. IDOL was written from Ai's, right? And it conveys her desires to love more sincerely... It could also have conveyed her feelings towards hikaru if she really held some desires to build a more genuine relationship with him as she did for her fans. Perhaps the opening for the second season displays HIS feelings towards HER in comparison. I have a feeling they cared about each other when they were together but there was some miscommunication that's led to a tragic outcome. At this point, maybe the feelings kamiki has for Ai's become something quite huge and twisted, like what nino has for her? Something like what this song says.

He might be even more similar to Aqua than we think, in terms of mentality. What if he feels regret and despair after Ai's death and has given up on his chances to live a normal life like the way his son's doing right now? His motives and purpose for living could be tied to what he THINKS is for Ai's sake.

Mephisto and Fatale both seem to have lyrics that have implications of giving up the speaker's own life and trading it for their loved one, the person wishes to bring them back, and they won't mind giving themselves for this purpose, it seems. So what if those parts of the lyrics are from hikaru's thoughts? What if hikaru is actually trying to go through with something like that? The whole plot of onk starts out with two people being revived from the dead so it IS something that's possible in this universe. Maybe he knows about that after having came to contact with a god himself.

I wrote this yesterday, but he could be a version of Aqua who went to the point of no return. Aqua still has a chance to live normally and happily, but kamiki just can't because he has too much blood on his hands. Aqua can be saved by his friends and companions, but Kamiki only had Ai and she couldn't stop him from going down that path(rather, she became his drive to continue what he's doing the way it is for his own son)

Having Ai love a serial killer would make things seem like she chose the wrong person to love, right?; After what all Ai's been through.. that seems really off. Kamiki should have some type of reason that could appeal to the readers if he REALLY is one in the first place. Did he really kill in the first place... Idk about that, I don't know how extreme he'd get for Ai's sake, but it is likely that the new op could be how he feels about her, and if that is the case, he'd be the guy that'd be able to throw himself away and risk anything if he can have her back. I've only looked at the first verse, but this seems like a REALLY powerful song in terms of the type of emotions it has. I rather have him REALLY loved ai, it'd be sad if the one she wanted to open up to more after all her struggles turned out to be someone who didn't care... The plot makes more sense for me if he did too. Then we'll see why and how desperate he is and understand him as a character and why he is a match for Ai. Honestly everything will start to make more sense as a whole, because there were some parts that felt very confusing. It'd all start to click if the story goes like this.

Looking forward to anime S2! The op seems great!! I can't wait to see the lyrics in full!

[yuseirra]

One more thing to note about Ch160 now that it must be out: Tsukuyomi is a god, so the information she withholds and displays is something that must be the truth. She said kamiki has three feelings associated to love: Desire, Disappointment and Despair.

What kamiki said in 154 was a lie, right? He said he despaired because Ai rejected him and that caused him to try and scare her but it was not true.

He was smiling as he prepared the bouquet in this new episode. This means he was ACTUALLY happy after the call. He was in high hopes to give Ai something. If she received the bouquet well, he could have gathered his courage to go meet her and his kids. So his reasons for having despaired ISN'T because of the rejection. He is in despair because Ai died.

This should be obvious at this point but I felt the need to clear it up!

The disappointment is probably associated to the breakup/the rejection he had.

Then the desire? What could that be? I wrote it earlier in my analysis of him, it's the songs that fill in the blank.

He desires to bring Ai back. He desires to see her again. He desires to hear her voice. To have her see him. To die in her spot. He desires to become like her if she can't be brought back...

Fatal and Mephisto's full of these desires. And desires are DRIVES. It's connected to what said character wants to do and works for in the story.

In 160 we see him with a panel saying "looking for love"<the translation I saw earlier said "desiring for love/wanting love" there and usually.. What I read tends to be closer to the original jpn text. Anyhow that is Kamiki's "desire". Please listen to Fatal again with that in mind, the feelings imbued in that song and Mephisto is identical to what he's going through or so I think. He ISN'T floating that smile he masks himself in that particular panel, either.

That's his motive. That's what's he's up to. That's what he wants.

[yuseirra]

Kamiki-Ai relationship: how they felt about each other(Going a bit wild this time)

here I am..way past bedtime going on about them yet AGAIN

Will I ever get tired of talking about them?? Well, the more I look into this as every new chapter drops,… idk..the guy turns out to be even milder than I thought he would, and it makes SENSE. It's been so fun and tense speculating about them lately. I have to say I'm becoming increasingly optimistic and tend to try and take things in a pretty good light; but I do see that sort of possibility with the two. If Mephisto and Fatal is Kamiki's song then at least he's DEVOTED.

SoOO this time, I went wild in my stream of consciousness earlier, and I found it really funny and worth sharing. I'd like to share it here, too! :) I hope you enjoy this positive take. I'd like to do it while it's still possible!

(translated using chatgpt4.0. I daren't write the entire thing again o<-<)

It seems like there’s a break this week~~ I feel at ease during break weeks.. lol. At least this week, whatever I write won’t be contradicted by new developments, right? lol

I’ve already written quite a lot about these two, and I’m sure I’ve written more logically in previous posts.

This time, I’m just writing based on intuition and feelings, without much structure (but sometimes, these are what actually ends up being more accurate in sense).

I think Ai found Kamiki really cute. Like how a mother would adore her children, she had that kind of affection for the character. Since they met when he was small, it probably made her feel that way even more. And we can see that in how she first pinched his cheeks when they met, and how she teased him by saying he seemed like a child and was cute when they went out to eat. When Kamiki hugs Ai (in chapters 146 and 153), the way he looks up at her makes Ai seem like the older sister, and it’s really like that. Despite only being a year apart, their relationship does have an older sister-younger brother dynamic. And at that age, a one-year difference can have a significant psychological impact, so it’s natural. Ai is the older sister, and because of that, Kamiki probably relied on her a lot (oh dear). Even now, that dynamic might still be there.. lol. If they were to meet again now, that dynamic might surprisingly still be present. I feel like the fact that both of Aqua’s heroines are a year older than him was a conscious choice, possibly influenced by this dynamic.

In my view, if you combine Aqua’s relationships with both heroines, you get Kamiki and Ai’s relationship.

When Akane talks about her feelings she has towards Aqua to Kana? Was it when they went to the beach? It’s chapter 149. She says she has a maternal-like affection for Aqua, and Ai probably felt something similar for Kamiki.

Oh, and Akane says she hopes Aqua gets a good job and gets into a good university... that she supports him in that way.

That might be one of the reasons Ai and Kamiki broke up... even if it wasn’t the main reason, it’s still there. The reason they ended up like that was because Ai wanted to protect him.

She probably also had that heart-fluttering affection for Kamiki, similar to how Kana feels about Aqua (though Ai’s personality is different from Kana’s, so she wouldn’t show it as outwardly bubbly. But who knows, chapter 140 makes me wonder. That was very similar to AquaKana, and Aqua denied that the movie was just a fabrication so she could have been outwardly affectionate as well- that chapter is what I frequently work with when I make fanarts as well).

The character has a tendency to dote on others. Early on, when she says her kids are geniuses and that you can’t hide genetics, it made me think. While Ai’s intelligence isn’t fully highlighted, Kamiki later started a company, didn’t he? Ai probably wasn’t unintelligent, but I think Kamiki may have been the more studious one. That comment might have been made with Kamiki in mind.

Even the fact that she named her children after jewels might have been influenced by Hikaru. The one who compared Hikaru to jewels in the story was Ai. The children’s hair color and features resemble their father, especially Aqua, who looks like a mini version of Hikaru (though oddly enough, Ruby seems to resemble him more the more you look). The fact that she put two characters for “love” in Aqua’s name, with the kanji for “longing” in between, could be because she thought of Kamiki when naming Aqua, who resembles him so much. Considering how much she liked that character, I think that’s quite likely. She really wanted to stay with him, but couldn’t.

Ai loves cute things. I think her first impression of her boyfriend was that he was a “cute boy.” And Kamiki, when he was younger, had those big round eyes and a gentler, more delicate appearance compared to Aqua (even now, he looks more “delicate” than “handsome” Aqua). If you look at his actions back then, he was an innocent kid in a tough situation with a pretty gentle nature...

So with Ai’s personality, I think it’s natural that her protective instincts would kick in. Ai likes taking care of others.

Even though she struggled with understanding what love is, she still showed affection by petting and hugging her kids with a smile. That’s just her nature (although being affectionate isn’t always essentially the same as being a good caregiver, I think it still helps a lot. Ai probably wanted to be a good mom and a good lover, and she likely worked hard for that). Looking at how she treats Kamiki, she often holds his hand and hugs him. She must have adored him. It seems like Kamiki didn’t realize it back then, but I think he came to realize after seeing the video and thought: “Oh, right... Ai really did treat me like that. How could I have believed that she didn’t love me...” and that’s why he broke down.

Ai wasn’t the type to express affection in a cheesy or overly cutesy way. She probably wasn’t very delicate or expressive, likely even blunt at times. She also couldn’t tell a white lie to save her life.

But there must have been silent expressions of affection, and when they were in a bright mood, they probably laughed together and had a “normal” good time. And for those two, having someone they could be “normal” with must have been very special. I’m not sure if I should mention this, but they probably didn’t only sleep together once, considering how the kids were conceived. The dialogue suggests it wasn’t just once. They were very affectionate together, then (They were so young though... Goodness...Kids need better sex education in schools... I’m really worried there might be kids like this in real life. I hope everyone will be okay.)

Let’s stop here with Ai and move on to Kamiki’s side.

If we delve into the meta and even bring up mythology, the god who inspired this character is described as someone who guides souls to purity. And it makes sense. He seems genuinely kind by nature, and it actually doesn’t seem like that’s changed much.

When you look at this character’s dialogue, it’s very gentle...

And he trusts people too easily. The whole situation with Ai also happened because he took her words at face value and believed them. It seems like he can’t really imagine people doing bad things. Since he isn’t capable of such actions, he doesn’t even think of them.

Sarutahiko is said to guide people down the right path, right? So that’s the only kind of behavior he expects... He doesn’t anticipate people having malicious intent, wielding a knife, or harming others. Since he himself can’t do such things, he can’t grasp when others might lie or act with ill intent, even when he knows it’s happening.

In "Mephisto", or even ever since when this character first appeared, his words were oddly... kind. Even when the lyrics are about asking his children to come get back at him, the way he tells it is sweet, like telling a bedtime story.

I don’t think there’s even a hint of “hate” in his feelings towards Ai or his kids. It was never love-hate, it’s just “love,” pure and simple.

Looking at what’s been revealed so far, I wonder if this character is even capable of hatred. Because even towards people who anyone with a normal mindset would understandably hate, he shows no signs of that. He seems to internalize everything as his fault and suffer because of it. He’s such a gentle person. If you disregard the theories that this character might have harmed Ai, killed Yura, or committed serial murders, he’s always been really kind in his actions...

Think about it. Aqua plans to turn the things that happened to him into a film and distribute it. The content is provocative, and it’ll definitely be a hit. If it were me, I’d feel conflicted about it, wouldn’t you? It’s like reopening old wounds, right? And showing that to all of Japan? Even if I acknowledged my mistakes, I’d find it too painful.

But after seeing that screening, he comes back and asks his son in an interview if he took the role to help his mother and sister, despite of the role being a very painful one to act out. That's a question filled with consideration for the person who made the film. Something extremely generous.

Aqua has become twisted, showing a darker side, but his character still seems to speak kindly, even if he’s fallen apart.

I think Ai chose her man well. This character’s speech is so soft-spoken, and even when he believes his son is trying to kill him, he’s happy to see him and cheers him on. He praises his daughter and smiles kindly at people. He never shows intense emotions.

As a child, he always endured things alone... There’s never been a scene where he truly gets angry. When something happens, he blames himself.

Even when others treat him poorly, he thinks about what he could have done differently, believes it’s his fault, and takes responsibility. That seems to be his basic behavior pattern, and it hasn’t changed from what I can tell. He’s someone who blames himself for everything, similar to Aqua, but with a gentler personality. Very mild.

I think Ai made a good choice to love this guy.22222 There’s a mention that this character helped Ai improve her personality, right? He’s inherently really kind, gentle, and doesn’t come to blame others. Being around someone like that probably made Ai open up quickly, fall in love with him, and take action for him. Ai didn’t want to break up with him. She doesn’t say she wanted to break free because it was hard to rely on him. Instead, she wished they could have stayed together. If the situation hadn’t gotten so complicated, he would have been the right person for Ai to be with.

It doesn't seem like he would have been very obsessive. It seems likely that Nino had some connection with Ryosuke, as I suspected.

If that's the case, Kamiki might have only found out about the birth of his children when Ai called him from the public phone in episode 8. He hadn’t gone near the hospital, that could have been Nino.

If that's the case, the reaction I imagine this character would have had to Ai's phone call would go something like this:

"Hey, you know, the kids have grown up quite a bit. Would you like to meet them?"

"What? What are you talking about? Kids? Grown up? Ai, you’ve been raising kids? You gave birth to them? By yourself? How have you been all this time? Raising them? Then, I—"

"No, it’s not like I’m asking to get back together or anything."

"What?"

"Our kids are really smart, so they'll understand our situation."

"Ah... I see." (Silence) "Yeah, I want to meet them. I’ll go see them. Where should I go?"

"Yeah. The new address is—"

I feel like that’s how it would have played out... I can picture this lol. He doesn’t seem like the type to speak strongly, and he probably wouldn’t have been able to say much due to being at a loss for words. He couldn’t even hold on to Ai when they broke up; he couldn’t say anything properly.

Even when Airi really gaslighted him, he couldn’t argue back (when I watched that scene, I was like, "What the heck is she saying? Is it because she’s an actor in a morning drama? What kind of nonsense..." Although, being a movie, it’s probably dramatized. But there must be kids who experience something like this in real life. Not just 'might,' there definitely are. What a terrible world! Airi deserved divine retribution. What kind of adult acts like that;;;). That’s just his personality. Even when he was on the phone with Nino this time in ch 158, I bet he spoke very gently, maybe just saying something like, "Let’s stop this now." When Nino was with Takamine, she didn’t seem like a very strong person. In fact, she seemed more like a glass cannon, right? Yet even such a character yelled, "What do you mean by that?" to Kamiki. By now, I can’t even imagine this character speaking strongly.

After that call with Ai in the booth, he probably felt confused, troubled, sad, and disappointed, and he likely felt like crying. Wasn’t he around 19 at the time, just the legal drinking age? In the scene where he meets Ryosuke, there are what look like small liquor bottles drawn in the background; isn’t that a bar? Lol. Maybe he went to drink for the first time and didn't know what he was talking about because he didn't know his limit and drank too much.

I don’t think he would have been angry. This character doesn’t seem to get angry easily, or maybe he can’t. He probably just thought, "What is going on... Did Ai raise my children alone? Am I really that untrustworthy? Does she really not want to be with someone like me?" And so on. He likely felt sad and, as mentioned in chapter 158, felt "disappointment" that he couldn’t be with her. He doesn’t seem like someone who would resent Ai for that. If he resents anyone, it would probably be himself for being unreliable. He might think, "Because I’m like this, Ai doesn’t want to marry me..."

It seems like he would have just cried miserably. When you look at this character’s behavior, this pattern seems to fit his personality better. THIS is more like how he's reacted throughout his childhood and maybe even till his present day.

And from things like Mephisto’s lyrics, what he says in front of the kids, or even earlier when he showed up with flowers at Ai’s grave and said things like "our children," it’s clear he does have paternal love.

It’s just that he’s probably thinking of dying (please refer to my previous post on analyzing Mephisto),

But if things were normal, he would have been a kind and good father. Whenever he appears, he doesn’t miss a chance to praise his kids, showing that he probably liked them a lot... if only he had the chance to raise them.

The scene Ai imagined, where they are raising the kids together, laughing and walking side by side, is likely accurate. Since she knew him well, it’s reasonable to think that’s how things could have been.

I just think Kamiki may end up to be a really pitiful guy who really loves Ai. I’m not sure if he could have killed Yura; if he did, it might have been done in order to save Ai... It’s ambiguous. Ai left a request to help him, but can you really help someone who’s killed someone? It’s tough.

But the more this character appears and does things, the stronger the interpretation that he is like this becomes.

I sometimes worry if I’m being too kind in my interpretation,

But every time he appears, it turns out to be even more like that than I expected.

So maybe he’s even more like this than I’ve written. I keep saying this, but with this manga, if I decide to go two steps further than how I anticipated in terms of what the characters are like, it usually turns out to be about right. I got a LOT of things right so far. I feel I have a right sense of direction, the manga turns out to make the feelings even stronger than that(and that's natural, since I can't just go ahead and go berserk beyond the original portrayals)

It’s incredibly interesting!

[yuseirra]

Can we all collectively agree Mephisto is Hikaru's song at this point?

Ai's compared him to a jewel, (星は宝石の憧れ)<Star(Hoshi)s are what Jewels long for

He says Ai's the girl he was willing to sacrifice his life for (CH154) わたしが命を賭けるから　あげるから< I'll risk my life, I'll give it to you)

He was gaslit into believing he's empty and no one would ever love him (CH 146) 生まれつきだってば底なし<I told you, I was born of the abyss

These whole set of lyrics RIGHT here:

あなたに命が戻るなら　届くなら わたしはどうなろうと構わないのに どうやら総ては叶わない 叶わないならばあなたになりたい 星は砕け光る<"Hoshi wa kudake hikaru" has both their names in it

If life returns to you, if it reaches you I don't care what happens to me But not every wish will be fulfilled And if that's not realized I shall become you The stars shatter and shine

and with that settled, I think he wants to become "a star" like Ai because he's a "jewel". Jewels belong on the land, Stars are from the sky:

If him and her are really characters that are inspired by the gods, The one he's supposed to be inspired by is an EARTHLY GOD(Kunitsukami 国津神) while she's the SKY GOD(Amatsukami 天津神). Makes sense that he CAN'T reach her on his own where he is. Even that's fitting to the plot.

The god thing seems bizarre, I know, but this song has lyrics like:

誰と生きたか思い出して<Remember who you lived along with 誰を生きたか忘れちゃった！<I've forgotten who I lived as!

and these are some intriguing lyrics. It's as if he was a different kind of being in the past that's forgotten who he's lived with.

And these too:

らくになる日はまず来ない<Days of ease won't likely come 日々のなかに集まる悲しい光< Gathered within the days, a sad light

GATHERING "LIGHTS". His name is Hikaru Kamiki, if stars=gods in this universe, he's collecting the light(hikari/u) to become a god(kami) himself like Ai.

So that's what he means by "And if that's not realized, I shall become you." He wants to become like her and it IS said that she's become a star(CH118) it wasn't just a metaphor but, it's really what's happened in a literal sense.

I've already mentioned these a few times!! I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I'm listening to Mephisto again and I can't unhear this at all.

Everything that's described in the song must be what he's been striving for, only to be backed up and further enhanced by what's being said in Fatal. What the speaker's doing in both songs is essentially the same thing. The first and foremost goal that he'd had was to give Ai her life back, but that seems to have been in vain as seen from Mephisto's lyrics. He then really wants to get to where she is and see her again if that's possible. These songs display Hikaru's motive he's had behind the scenes. (I've talked a lot about Fatal like a whole lot, yeah, uh huh and these links aren't all, I'm crazy about that song) and I'm so sure that song's about him. It's what's got me to get down and draw stuff!! I am so sure. I won't discuss so much about that song this time)

but he gave all that up after having learned Ai doesn't want him to be lost. She never would have wanted him to die or do something reckless that'd destroy his life/kill him in the process. If she's like that about him, he must treasure what he has left of it. I believe that's why he stopped. He wanted to keep to her words...

It all makes sense that way... but will this ever be discussed in the plot if it is how it is? Because I need it to be there if it is! It gets to me whenever I listen to those two songs. I need explanations and plot development and it should, right? These are such powerful songs... I think they're spoilers to the plot along with IDOL, which has to do with the entire plot of onk(I still think there's something that's going to be the final blow/plot point left regarding that song. I feel like that song's implying how the ending's going to be)

Songs are really great, aren't they! I have so much fun listening to those and as for this fandom, it seems to be implying a whole lot of things.

[yuseirra]

Hikaru Kamiki's character-analysis collection

160 is going to be a pretty powerful chapter. If my judgment and theories, interpretations about this character flops eventually, it will. But until that happens, I feel I can hold out quite a bit.

Maybe I can call myself an expert on this particular character because...there are so many others who excel with other characters already and I wouldn't be able to beat them to it, but with his case, I may have a chance because he's had very little screen time and the way he acts is very ambiguous and confusing. I put in a lot of effort into understanding his character along with Ai's because I wanted to determine just what kind of relationship they had (154 was so intriguing. that chapter didn't have to be like that but it was), and to do that, you need to get a decent grasp of each of those two characters. I make fanworks, so I HAVE to portray them, and I've drawn way over 200+ pieces of art with them in it, with most of them being comics with expressions and dialogues. So I think it's safe to say I have an idea of just what they're like, may it be all debunked in the end, but at least for the time being. I'm pretty sure though. If I didn't know what I signed myself into, I wouldn't have spent my effort and time in the first place!

So, here goes! If you don't think he's an unforgivable psychopath and a nasty liar who's coerced Ryosuke into stab Ai and kill his daughter and did serial murder for "his own sake"<whatever that's supposed to be, or wish he'd turn out to be something more complex than just a flat-out villain, If you want to know why Ai wants to "help" him, then this analysis may help you. It's going to help me too. I'm just revisiting what I've written about him, there is a mention of what takes place in 160, a little, too.

Oh before anything, Mephisto and Fatal is HIS SONG. With that as the baseline, everything just..starts clicking. That's how I started to realize just what this guy's going to be.

(translated through Chatgpt~~I CAN'T write this whole thing twice hhhghh)

I think I have a pretty accurate grasp when it comes to understanding emotions.

As for the latest chapter's developments (which will be released today), if we take all of Kamiki's words as the truth and compare them to previous chapters, there aren't many contradictions. If we closely analyze the things this character says, it turns out they haven't really done anything significant, nor are there many things to hold them accountable for. Even the words they say to Aqua might not be as mocking or provocative as initially thought. If you believe things as they are, it all fits in quite neatly.

Since around July, I've been piecing together the fragments we've been given, analyzing the character's psychology multiple times, and I was really accurate in predicting what they would do.

In reality, they haven’t done anything, and they've never tried to harm anyone. Nino and Ryosuke went to the hospital and killed Goro, while Kamiki only meant to send a bouquet of flowers. If what he claims is correct, he was even happy upon sending them, he didn't even try to "scare Ai". (I'd been screaming about that in the top of my lungs for so long and oh am I so relieved. I want to say I TOLD YOU SO! But with the whole chapter being so. Yeah. the way it is, I can't even be happy about it. )And I was right about all of it. I’ve gotten so many things right… though, to be fair, there wasn’t really any other way it could have played out.

The testimony? It really might be exactly as it is, and there’s a good chance none of it was a lie.

If the character’s actions, as depicted in the movie arc, and the occasional glimpses of their behavior weren't false, then their behavior integrates with that.

If we trust Aqua’s interpretation, the real question becomes: Why? Why would this character act the way they did? We have no idea about their motive. Why would they have gone to such lengths, spending years scheming? The motive is the most important issue here. Why? For what reason? There’s a lack of rationale. Ryosuke and Nino approached them first, so from the moment they met, they probably didn’t have a plan to use them, nor do we understand what they gained from it. And while it’s said that they sparked a flame of madness, the reasoning behind that is too weak. The actions taken don’t have the drive to escalate into something like murder. Showing a toothbrush leads to murder? Suggesting to turn themselves in leads to attempted murder? This feels like something that couldn't have happened without divine intervention. If they intended that effect, the actions taken to achieve it were far too weak. The behavior escalates unpredictably and drastically. It's almost like they were cursed. Honestly, I think Kamiki is cursed. “Fatal” is indeed his song. The lyrics about life being twisted because of the stars appear in that song, and I think the songs in the anime help fill in the most important pieces of this character.

The "motive."

The last expression in Chapter 159—every time I look at it, I become more convinced it’s a sad expression. If you cover their mouth, you can clearly see it.

This character smiles when they're going through a hard time. And they don’t get angry at all, to an almost abnormal degree. I think that’s what confuses people about this character.

When people say unfair or harsh things to them, or even when they’re being bullied or questioned, they don't fight back. They just endure it. Their expression falters for a moment, but then they pull themselves together and smile again.

This not only leads to misunderstandings, but it also makes you wonder if this character is really responsible for anything. It unintentionally makes people push responsibility onto them.

That behavior resurfaces in this chapter, too. If Aqua’s accusations have any basis, then Kamiki deserves to hear those things. But if not, then once again, they’re just enduring it as always.

Even as a child, Kamiki couldn’t defend themselves, so another child(Ai) had to step in and fight against the adult who was bullying them. They’re a character who’s too soft to stand up for themselves. It’s unclear whether that’s because they have a large threshold for patience, or if they’re just shy—it seems to be a bit of both. But they’ve endured more than most people would be able to.

I’ve been pointing out these patterns as I’ve been following the story. It’s an incredibly consistent behavioral pattern.

This is just a small part of it.

In terms of their behavior, Kamiki barely seems to experience anger. And it’s usually anger that drives strong actions or causes someone to affect others. This character doesn’t have that, which is why all their actions seem almost passive. I think they’re incredibly sad and in despair. But they don’t show the slightest sign of anger, even in situations where they should. That’s why I don’t think they could have harmed Ai or killed anyone. It’s beyond just being kind; it’s like there’s a deficiency, or they have the mental fortitude of a saint or a god.

When Ai asked Kamiki to come see their children, I don’t think Kamiki was entirely hopeless. It wasn’t a bad thing, after all. But in the end, Ai dies. Good things never happen to this person. Even when something good does happen, it disappears before they can fully enjoy it. Yet, despite that, they’re still so kind. Have we ever seen them get angry at someone? Not at all. They face people with a smile and remain polite, despite everything. Considering all that’s happened, it wouldn’t be surprising if they’d gone insane, but they don’t come off that way. They just seem truly depressed and hurt (yes, but I still think they might have killed Yura, so let’s wait and see how the truth unfolds).

Looking at how Kamiki acts, there’s something almost powerless about them. They’re too agreeable, never speaking up for themselves, and often at a loss for words. And this isn’t a one-time thing; it’s been consistent since they first appeared.

When they asked Ai, “You love me, right? You won’t leave me, right?” and Ai responded, “I don’t know,” Kamiki’s reaction was to go outside, cry in the rain. When Airi gaslit them with some absurd nonsense, their face just froze in despair. When Ai said something harsh and dumped them, Kamiki couldn’t say anything. Even 15 years later, when watching the video, they couldn’t say anything and just curled up while reaching out toward Ai. It’s been so consistent that I realized this character really has no ability to defend themselves. In any given situation, they just take all the blame and accept it as their fault.

This character experienced horrific things even from a very young age, and rather than thinking, “I don’t like this,” they thought, “People like me when I do this, so this must be the right thing to do.” With that kind of mindset, they’ve been knocked around here and there, internalizing every negative judgment about themselves, becoming almost self-destructive.

For this reason, I think there’s a less than 2% chance that this character would do something as aggressive as sending Ryosuke to Ai in an attack. Even four years after the breakup? I imagine this character would have just cried alone after receiving a phone call. I really think they would’ve gone off and cried in agony... but somehow let the address slip, which led to Ai’s death. And then they think, “I have to save Ai no matter what,” which ties things together. That theory fits perfectly with the songs and their personality. As for why Kamiki ended up with such a personality—it all lines up.

Going over the information we’ve been given, I wonder if this character even has it in them to hate anyone. People with a normal mentality would obviously hold grudges against certain people, but Kamiki doesn’t show any signs of that. They seem to internalize everything as their fault and just suffer. They’re remarkably gentle. When you remove the assumptions that they harmed Ai, killed Yura, or committed serial murders, Kamiki comes across as kind...

I doubt they were ever truly angry. I don’t think Kamiki can get angry or even knows how to. Instead, I think they were just thinking, “What’s going on?” When they found out Ai raised the kids on her own, they probably thought, “Am I really that untrustworthy? She really didn’t want to be with someone like me, huh?” They would have been heartbroken, just like the “disappointment” mentioned in Chapter 158. They couldn’t be with her. But they don’t seem like the type to resent Ai for that. If they had to blame someone, they’d blame themselves for being untrustworthy.

It seems their natural inclination is to beat themselves up rather than others. They can’t stand up for themselves, and whenever something goes wrong, they immediately think, “I must be to blame.” (They’re similar to Aqua, but worse because their self-esteem is even lower.) Ai’s words could have made them angry, and they would have been justified in being upset, but they couldn’t even do that.

Their reaction in Chapter 155, when they couldn’t say a word, lines up perfectly with this. From Kamiki’s perspective, Ai lied to them for over ten years, and now he’s saying he’s going to do something for Ai. This behavior has been consistent throughout. Even after 15 years, they’re still acting like this. Either they’ve always been this way, or this is how they’ve always acted when it comes to Ai (though, judging from their actions, I’d say it’s a general tendency).

Kamiki loved someone who never loved them back, to the point where they’d say, “I truly loved Ai, from the bottom of my heart. (She's)the girl I was willing to sacrifice my life for” If someone believed that the person they loved never loved them back, yet they still genuinely loved them enough to say, “I loved them to the point of giving my life for them”—well, that’s a pretty miserable state of mind, don’t you think? But even in such a state, it seems like they continued to do things for Ai. Since they thought Ai didn’t like them, they likely went on without considering themselves much, probably with the mindset of, “I don’t care if I die.”

Because of this, when this character says things like “It’s my fault” or “I did it,” I think those statements are a bit unreliable to believe at face value. It feels like they're saying Nino’s actions were their own fault because they wanted to blame themselves for everything, or because they couldn’t forgive themselves. I could be wrong, but regarding Yura, there’s a decent chance that they’re less responsible than expected, and I’d say there’s about a 50% chance they didn’t kill anyone at all. Originally, this isn’t a character who would harm others.

As for the page where Kamiki tells Aqua that he wanted to scare Ai—well, I think 80% of what he says there is a lie. The only part I believe to be true is when he admits to giving Ryosuke the address, and that he didn’t expect Ryosuke to kill her—probably an accident or unintended consequence. The reasoning Kamiki gives for his actions is ridiculous and foolish. There are countless ways to make someone feel despair, and it goes without saying that doing so is wrong. Plus, there’s no guarantee it would even work, and it’s not practical from the start. In short, it’s an action with a very low probability of achieving the desired result. That’s why I keep speculating that this situation doesn’t make sense. I think most fans would have the same thought about Kamiki’s statement, like, “How could he not have known what would happen?” Right? I don’t think this was Kamiki’s doing from the start. Any rational person would feel that way, and Kamiki doesn’t seem like a crazy person. Nino, on the other hand, might be a bit irrational, but I don’t think Kamiki is! That’s why I’m convinced that Nino was responsible, especially since she appeared on the scene.

↑I got this right. If this chapter is correct, the flashback in Chapter 154 was indeed false, and Kamiki’s self-blaming testimonies can’t be trusted.

I’ve said this many times before. And I was right about a lot of things. I was right about how Kamiki had no reason to kill Gorou, so it was Nino and Ryosuke who did it.

For Aqua’s argument to be convincing, he needs to present a valid reason or proof as to why his father acted the way he did.

Last time, I analyzed the motivations behind the actions of the characters in this manga, and for Kamiki, at least as far as the story has shown, his current goal (according to his own thoughts) is to do “something for Ai.”

When you look at the relationship between this character and Ai, there’s no other driving force that could push him to act. What Kamiki thinks is important for Ai is what drives him.

This idea is reflected in the songs “Mephisto” and “FATAL.”

According to Chapter 158, the emotions he’s experiencing are desire, disappointment, and despair.

Among these three emotions, “desire” is the only one that can drive someone to act. The other two make a person shrink back or become rigid.

These three emotions appear strongly and consistently in both “FATAL” and “Mephisto.” I’m good at reading emotions.

And the “desire” depicted in those two songs is the emotion of wanting to meet and see someone again, right?

In Chapter 160, the person that stands for the description of: “someone who desires love” is none other than Kamiki himself.

Ai wanted to give love, and Kamiki wanted to receive love. That’s Kamiki’s “desire.” It can’t be anything else. Wanting to harm Ai? Wanting to harm Ruby? No, that’s not it. Kamiki has the desire to meet Ai again and be loved by her.

So, what actions will this character take based on that desire? If we follow that thread, I think we’ll find the answer in the end. That's the key to understanding everything about him, his major drive.

[yuseirra]

hello there! i've been lurking on ur blog for a while now, and i absolutely love your art and analyses of hikaai!! you made me realize how good of a ship they are together and how tragic it is, and i think you made me love them as much as i do now. the analyses you write about them have really changed my viewpoint of oshi no ko entirely, and i really enjoy how well written they are. thank you so much for all of it!!

i wanted to ask you if you know some songs that seem very hikaai to you? i want to make a playlist for hikaai because i can't find any on spotify, but right now there's not many songs, so i turn to you for help. i've put mephisto and fatal in there because of your posts with those songs :33

thank you once more !! keep being great !!

Hello!// Wow, it's such an honor! I say this a lot lately but I really mean it.. Really? I am so glad! Ah, this makes me so happy. I've been writing about them in a rather frantic manner, I wish I could be more graceful and calm... I'm suddenly feeling a bit shy hehe but I have to be really stern about wrong things, aren't I!! I can't be so calm when I talk about beings like Ryosuke, there are just some things that I feel really strongly about and can't condone... this manga tackles really dark subjects sometimes, and they always get a reaction out of me.

It may take a few chapters for the current situation in the piece to be fully resolved (idk if they'll drag the idea of Kamiki being the "true villain" for so long.. that's going to be so tiring if they do), but I feel like I am on the right track after having thought over just what exactly this piece is trying to convey. ONK has a theme that's been very clear and consistent, and I believe in the writers to send out a message powerful and meaningful. It's made me think about what people go through, and I appreciate it.

Again, wow, really?/// I had that effect on you? Whew, this is so relieving and fulfilling, you're so kind! Thanks for letting me know! They are quite a lovely and powerful ship, aren't they? People will come to see what they are by the series comes to its closure. I know it will happen! There aren't a lot of pieces dedicated to them yet... but when everyone realizes it's THE Fatal and Mephisto ship, they'll see. Hope my works don't get buried when that happens~ ;v;)/

I would love to help you on this, but I was never really good at making playlists.. will you link me yours when you make yours? :)

I'm really sure I know a lot of songs that have their vibe, but I can't finger them right off the bat:

However, I felt the new songs from P3R really suits them in terms of some of its lyrics because it deals with the loss of someone dear and unknowing what to do without them. I've been listening to those a lot along with onk songs, and it's REALLY fitting!

+OH WAIT NEVER MIND. I found a whole BUNCH of songs.

I hope they suit your taste 'v')/

It feels like my heart is suffocating

How do you make amends when you're gone from me?

Even though with a win how come I feel so lost?

Nothing makes sense to me

I'm so numb, so lost without you

Spending days and nights of silence

'cause no words can explain how I feel In my mind and heart

Oh, I don't know what I am but I miss myself 'cause she's not here anymore

How can I move on? Please tell me

Already lost my keys

To the door wide shut

Only have one wish

Now it's never gonna come true

Trapped in time

Forever in remorse

How could I ever be

In peace when nothing else matters to me?

Phantasmagoria is a interesting song, there are lyric in the description.. its story involves encountering a ghost of a loved one and dancing together before daylight strikes, wishing to return to the old days when they were alive. It's worth a listen!

Hydra from MYTH & ROID is such a powerful song.

ACTUALLY, this is the one song I think would be REALLY fitting, it's SO similar to Fatal in terms of what it's saying!

The lyrics for this go:

Even if I lose everything

I still have something to offer

Be it my future or my life itself

My burned-out emotions, my unanswered prayers

My miserable begging, my foolish giving

My strained voice, my dirtied hands

Even my ripped open heart

I have been wishing for nothing but your happiness

Over and over

Even if everything I hold in these hands is lost

As long as there is still time

I will keep trying over and over again

I don't care if it's meaningless and futile

Even if the days I've spent would end in misery

If my wishes change to curses

Even if it was all in vain, I don't mind

Only you remain in my eyes

At the end of this dark road

It seems as though any light would eventually die out

If that is what is decided by fate

Rather than living by holding onto hope

I sacrifice my all for the now

My burned-out emotions, my unanswered prayers

My miserable begging, my foolish giving

Whatever happens, I don't care

I will give my all for you

Nothing would make me happier than

If I could be with you forever

This song is very interesting too! It has lyrics like:

Please, I’ll do anything, just once, let me turn back time.

I’ll even offer up one, no, two of my fingers.

I can’t bring myself to laugh, ever.

Because even the most natural of my emotions vanished along with you.

Yes, that’s right.

No matter how many years pass, I still live as if I’m dead.

Now, God, break me, break me, please.

I have no idea what happened.

This bone-dry heart of mine, come on

touch it, touch it, please.

Even if a thousand years pass, they won’t heal.

I’ll carry these wounds to the end.

Hey, God, kill me, come on, kill me, please.

It’s all my fault, you see.

Things can never be put back to the way they were,

in the end, just laugh, laugh at me again.

These are some depressing songs, but I feel like those were the type of feelings Hikaru would have felt all along. And the songs involve about wishes to bring someone or to turn back time, so I feel it's very fitting to the situation! If he could do it, he'd definitely bring Ai back. And from what I see, he's disregarding his life a whole lot...

How about "Mugen Nostalgia?" I'm just adding this on because this cover sounds so good! But now that I examine the lyrics, it works!!

Until when will I walk by myself?

It spins round and round, then it slips past by.

Until where will you let me feel lonely?

Are you giggling? Where are you?

I want to see you again.

Is it too rushed to go now? But it's always like this, isn't it?

"Can I see you again?"

Don’t laugh at me with such a blank face, like a scarecrow at the sunset.

I’m still chasing what I've been looking for.

So I will never stop my footsteps until I finally find that. 

There’s no need for such thing as promises.

I'll come for you, so don't worry, it's my classic memory.

Saying “since you’re so lovely I can’t stand it,”

I held tightly to laziness’ hand, feeling completely tamed while it looked my way and laughed laughed so many times, saying, “that’s how it is”while looking at me with distant, pitying eyes

Grieving these horrible times—yes, over and over I’ve suffered

Since salvation without an aim can never reach

There’s nothing left, no, nothing left now

Let’s put an end to it with words

“Ah, I’m satisfied with this” I chanted that over and over

A utopia which slips through my fingers and vanishes

It’s surely, yes, surely a bit too late to return to that time, it seems

I can't get my mind off you

I'm such an idiot

Same as usual

You made me feel so better

It brings back memories

It's things about you

My hands can't take back that the time I passed with you

Some doubts broke me down, broke me down

If you are still alive, I wanted to say it's not your fault

But it's too late for us

Maybe I'm afraid I'm not as tender guy as you think

Looking your eyes, and I say "love you" with fake smile

I don't know what to do

Please tell me what should I do

Just feel so sad inside, but I kiss you

Kiss you...

To end this on a positive note, Lamp from Cö shu Nie seems really fitting to how Ai would feel towards Hikaru, I've been there when TPN was reaching its closure and I'm having so many flashbacks about them seeing how things are playing out in ONK. Emma really wanted to save Norman who was keeping up a strong front and chose to take a path of death for everyone's sake and she was able to bring him back in the end with.. a really huge cost... This song reflects how much she cares for him. She brought him back into the light, and I feel like this is what Ai is going to do for Hikaru too.. it's such a warm song.

It's been confirmed by the creator that it is about how Emma felt about Norman.

Quasi love, quasi love, quasi love. I want to be connected

What you thought was a waste and you removed(your life)

Is irreplaceable to me

Don't stay quiet with such a sad face

Kick it up

Get so dirty that you look pathetic

Do we still have some time left?

You can go beyond

It's warm because we are together

Stand up again and again

I want to protect you forever

Repaint this little world

Keep shining, this road I chose

If you are afraid, it's gonna be okay.

The QUASI-LOVE though. That gets me because. Ai. was so unsure about love even while what she had was so genuine.

hope you enjoy these songs~ I wish I could bring some songs from mainstream pop culture too, o<-< but I think there are some things that anime...ish songs can fill. I mean, I feel they're REALLY fitting.. don't you think? and they're all good songs!! I promise they're all worth giving a listen to!

I'm so glad you found love towards this ship the way I do! ;v;)/ Thanks for reaching out to me to tell me how you feel!! See you around, I look forward to sharing more things with you, and everyone!

[yuseirra]

**Onk spoilers**

One more thing, WHY would the guy be watching Ruby's concert so intently if he's the one who's tried to kill her? To be on watch? Has he prepared another backup just in case and planned an attack on Ruby on stage- could that be why he's watching his daughter's performance in 159 and suggesting to Aqua they watch it together? If that's what's happening, it's really twisted (you know, I DO feel like there may be someone who could make an attempt on harming Ruby during the performance with Kana trying to protect her, there's been some ominous foreshadowing that SOMETHING may happen during the B-komachi concert)

But seeing just how miserable and cursed his life is, I totally just feel like Kamiki's being a proud dad and genuinely wants to see his precious girl perform and shine to further heights. There isn't much light in his life. Nothing so much to be happy about. Maybe he wanted to see his girl perform last thing before he decides to turn himself in if THAT'S still what he wants to do(IS HE though; I think this guy plans to die from the songs)

Why do I feel like something would happen to Ruby and Kana and Aqua and him would both rush to the concert? Or Aqua be in utter shock as Kamiki shows him what's happening through his phone screen?

Mastermind or not, the fact that Kamiki has the phone and is watching Ruby's live sort of suggests that they'll be able to figure if something goes terribly wrong regarding it.

Aqua still HAS to watch that concert anyway if he DOES want to keep to his promise with Kana. How far are they from the stage? Can they actually make it there if something breaks out?; Maybe that could be how the series comes to its closure? They end up cooperating with a common goal?? Wishful thinking, isn't it?

I really don't think Kamiki wants to hurt his own daughter. I don't think he wants to hurt anyone. That's something that he blatantly just states and I'd like to just accept it because that's REALLY the way he used to be. He's the one I've analyzed the most in this series just second to Ai. I HAVE to do that in order to create fanworks and I'm very serious about it. I genuinely believe that he's never once had any malicious intent (to those he cares for, at least). If he's doing something, it was and is always for Ai. It's the one motive that would make every action he does make sense and explain just how and why he's changed. Like almost all the characters in the plot in onk, and the hoshino family in specific, his main drive is love. Love is what's been making him do things, as implied by Tsukuyomi in CH 158, and the emotions that are associated with him (desire, disappointment, despair) aren't.. Really feelings that have to be associated with aggresive tendencies. The latter two isn't, and "desire" just screams Fatal and Mephisto to me because those songs are all about desiring. I rarely get these things wrong.

I will think about this story as much as I could, and if I can don't like it, I can always move on. It'll be sad but I can accept it, I don't want it to happen, though! So I'll do my best on my end and respect what comes up in official at the same time!//