#fatal and mephisto is kamiki's song

[yuseirra]

Ch 160 ..let me jot down my stream of consciousness about what I feel, my reading comprehension skills can't be that bad, it'd help if I can sit down and think through a little more.

+ Okay, I'm complete! I understand things much better now!! Upon close examination, This chapter doesn't change anything so dramatically.

IT STILL DOES NOT ANSWER JUST WHAT THE DAD'S MOTIVES ARE, but... the conclusion I have after having reread it thoroughly??

It's that my interpretation of him as a mild guy still stands—it enhances it, even. He's still really kind, which is a pretty surprising conclusion compared to what I felt about it at first glance.

He's.. really kind and considerate. I'm serious. wow.

well, analysis/interpretation below!

I was spoiled about chapter way back sometime last Friday, right? and it was pretty accurate in sense, with it being just some bunch of sentences and that one really creepy panel.. it does help to see the actual art and the expressions that are associated with the dialogues.

Now that I sit down a bit, there are two different interpretations of the same story: Kamiki's testimonies on what's happened (I believe these are all truths. They perfectly match up with how I've interpreted his character all along.) and Aqua's takes on them.

I'm not reading things off the english version btw, so the dialogues may differ.

According to what Kamiki says,

-he considered Ryosuke and Nino as good people and as friends. But they approached him because they were obsessed with Ai, so he didn't know about their true colors.

-so he was able to talk about his breakup with her and talked about whether if he should visit her having children at the hospital where Gorou was. They went and killed Gorou, but Kamiki had no idea about that.

-on the day Ai died, he was still unsure about meeting her because he lacked the courage to see her face (god he's timid) so he asked Ryosuke to give her his bouquet on his behalf

I KEPT SAYING THIS GUY NEVER HAS IT IN HIM TO "SCARE AI!!!!!!!!!" HE LIED IN 154 OUT OF GUILT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT AI AND AQUA WANTED REVENGE ON HIM!!! SEE!!! I'VE BEEN!!! RIGHT!!!! I'VE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!

This was already in the leaks last Fri, I basically felt the same way about these back then

and I got every part of these right except for the part that Kamiki befriended them. I just couldn't picture the people who killed Ai or would actively go hunt their daughter down being his friend..

but seeing how.. much he seems to trust people, he used to be that way as a child, it actually all ties so nicely together.

I predicted that it was Nino and Ryosuke who went to the hospital and killed Gorou.

I predicted that Kamiki just wanted to send the bouquet to congratulate Ai but he couldn't go because he was nervous/sad from the phone call. I said that ever since I started drawing hikaai fanarts, you would have seen me going on and on about that, I drew them with this as the base!!!! The guy Ai chose wouldn't do such a thing as trying to get back at her!!! See??

I couldn't be more right!!! I am a prophet!! I should trust myself!!!! why am I so unsure of myself, really. I really, really did get everything right.

These must be all true. He's not lying about any of this. I've been analyzing this guy very very thoroughly so I know what I'm talking about.

I guess what's confused me was the latter bits, since Fri and even after I see the full images.

Kamiki smiles and says he never wanted to hurt anyone<this is really how I view him as well, this guy can't hurt people out of his own will...

However, Aqua dismisses Kamiki's statements as lies on the spot, and accuses him of having been unable to protect his own daughter. That he's been intentionally manipulated people to get what he wants. That would involve him causing people to kill each other without dirtying his hands.

Upon hearing Aqua stating "You wanted to kill your own daughter", Kamiki makes this really eerie smile (I kind of wish this is redrawn hshsh.. it looks like he's a demon spawn from hell, but this could REALLY be him being distressed yet AGAIN. this guy SMILES when he's that way. That's his coping mechanism. It's kind of hard to stare at that expression but that smile certainly ISN'T a happy one like the one we saw in 159. This is a really confusing habit he has. People are going to take him the wrong way but; sadly, it's become a habit of his...)

The scenes then shifts to visions of him manipulating nino and Ryosuke into doing what they've done with a smile. If this is really what's happened, then he IS someone pretty evil-

but now that I read it over I think that's just based on Aqua's interpretations about the guy.

Is what's being portrayed in those pages ACTUALLY how he is? Just yesterday, I theorized that Kamiki loves his children and has been doing whatever he's been doing for his children. I did have my reasons for making that claim.

We still don't know what his motives are!! Aqua doesn't state anything about why Kamiki would do such a thing if he's done so. Does he know anything about this??? Just what reason would make it.. enough to have someone kill the love of their life and their very daughter? What good would it do for Kamiki? For one thing, does he have ANY good reason to kill Ai at all? For having felt betrayed?? Then why wait out that long????? Killing their daughter? After having her live for, how long now? how old are they now? 15?? 16? Why now? Why would he??

The important thing would be just WHY he'd be doing all those things if he's really been so, so WHAT IS IT AQUA?? WHAT??

Forgot to mention this but in the beginning of the chapter, we have kamiki saying, Hm, but what did I do? Did I "stab someone?" did I "push someone off a cliff?" I never "did" "anything".

Then we have Nino going "Kamiki-san didn't do anything. He just talked about Ai. He talked about her so we(her and Ryosuke) wouldn't forget about her. That was enough to make us break."

OH come on. COME ON. HUH. I feel like he's never told them anything bad about Ai, he probably let out how much he loved and misses her, because he thought they were her fan and coworkers as a fellow member, I bet he was happy to befriend people who knew about Ai because they share a common interest together. With it being his favorite person in the world even while he was dumped.

What a stupid reason, Nino. You brought everything upon yourself. I can see that now.

I do think.. kamiki has some sort of power that causes people to grow insane or act out, that could have had some influence on ryosuke and nino in a way...

but again, why would he try to kill his lover and his daughter even if he can use it with his own accord??? Even if he's using those powers now?? Would he use it to do those respective things?

Even if he has those, that shouldn't be all there is to it. According to Kamiki, they were already obsessed with Ai when they approached him and YEAH! Makes sense?? They came to him first, probably already aware that he was Ai's lover?? He isn't responsible for them hoarding those kinds of feelings!!

Coming to think of it, I find it really strange that he still hung with nino being the complete wreck she is. Oh wait, I guess he still could. Ryosuke killed Ai and Nino doesn't seem to have played a part with that. Nino was there with Ryosuke when Gorou died but she's not the one who's pushed him off a cliff. Ryosuke's the really...horrible one. He had a pretty gf like nino JUST WHY. Then again, nino was obsessed w Ai too so they were a match. I guess Kamiki hanged with Nino thinking she's just another victim who wants Ai back or whatever. He still hangs with her when she says that are super creepy like she can't forgive Ruby if she surpasses Ai though.. Perhaps he's really bad at letting people go.. OH, YEAH. He was always pretty attached to people as a child. Okay, I got that part cleared up on my own. Stream of consciousness is like this. It can happen.

Continuing on!! Aqua says Kamiki is a "despicable, selfish liar, worse than a murderer". Even Kamiki can't smile hearing that. If he ISN'T one, then that'd hurt.

Well, he responds again, saying:

"Ah, yes. You're the same way as I am. You share those same eyes I have. The type of eyes that grant the power to persuade others into believing you. The eyes that grant you charisma, befitting that of a star." Then we see a panel with Ai, "The eyes of liars, that fool, and make others submit to you"

he must be thinking of what Ai's told him when she talked to him about having the same eyes. (CH 140)

"You've been inciting people just like I have, right? Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?"

"It must have felt good to use your talents to impact the lives of others, right?"

I'm not sure if this is a taunt/mockery or just him stating the facts as a liar/a black star user himself.

If he's thinking about Ai... then it can be the latter. She approached him saying "they are the same". He could be thinking about that.

Actually, he's strangely calm. His emotions are a bit hard to read on this one, I'd say it actually feels collected compared to what he's heard.

This could actually be sympathy or empathy...

I didn't take it that way when I first encountered it, so I felt.. Kamiki could be lashing out a bit but no. That doesn't seem to be it.

Hey, he really never gets angry. He actually looks a bit sad depending on how you look at it, I think he may be feeling a sense of guilt in that particular panel where he says "Just how many people did you fool to fulfill your goal?", the one where he glances down,

just like how he talked to Aqua in 152, "It's a lie, isn't it? it's because they're important that you keep your distance from them. why would you go that far to bottle yourself up?"

This guy understands his son really well. In fact, I think he may be trying to say, "we're the same=I understand the way you are, we're on the same track" the way Ai's done for him. That's what was his salvation.

Aqua does not take this well.

He says yeah, we're both terrible beings, but Ruby is "different".

Oh, and the rest.. what's stood out to me is the panel where Aqua goes,

"sending love to the one who desires for love" as he describes what Ruby is doing. Kamiki shows up in that panel.. This is what Ai wanted to do for him.

and there's a panel that comes up that shows Ai with the twins that follows right after saying:

"it's the eyes of the one who desires to love someone"

This is really sad. I think that page actually indicates Ai desired to love him while he desired to be loved from Ai. That happened both ways. It was a nice page.

Yeah, and Aqua points his knife to his dad like a toy gun saying

"You must disappear right here and now, for Ruby's sake."

I don't think Aqua's actually up to stabbing him, actually? If he's pointing the knife at him like that, I think it's more like he's warning him to stay out of their way forever, scram, or just go die off on his own.

Both of his eyes are white, he's not going to kill him with his own hands, rather, he's going to make him go away.

So I don't think next chapter would start on a fierce note? Kamiki does not seem like a guy that gets agitated so easily. He STILL never once got angry in this chapter as well. He's still pretty sweet to his son. I'm not being biased on this, the way he talks has always been really soft. If this were to be an anime, you'd hear how he'd talk and see whether if he has thorns in them but I don't think it's that way at least, I think he's trying to be understanding??

This guy is soft. He will not put up a fight. I don't know, he may jump off that bridge and try to die maybe. If that's what his son wants? Move out of the way? He doesn't seem.. angry about it all. He's not even protesting.

In the end, the only thing that got proven in this chapter was that Kamiki DID NOT DO ANYTHING IN A PHYSICAL SENSE, AND HE DIDN'T TRY TO SCARE AI.

the fact about him manipulating people and lying to get his way, I think there's low chance of it being applied for Ruby and Ai's case.

I think he really didn't have a clue Nino would attack Ruby? If he's considered her as a friend?

what are the basis of Aqua picturing him that way? He must really hate his dad. There is no way he could have seen such things happen. Unless Tsukuyomi told him about it?? there is no proof that it's what's actually been taken place. Kamiki could have incited people, or influenced others, yeah, but I don't think he did anything to Ai or his daughter. Again, I think he loves his family. Why wouldn't he??

Until things get cleared up more, I???? I ACTUALLY?? think Kamiki's taking it in a really calm manner despite all the things he's being accused of??

This is very long, but that is all for now!!

Oh, this was worth revisiting and analyzing. There's a lot more I see when I scrutinize it like this!!

[yuseirra]

My beloved Fatale

[yuseirra]

You have given me a fatal flaw Selfish giant star, ruined lives

(ref to 147 too~)

[yuseirra]

a family bigger than 4! part 11

just small things

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / side story 1 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / side story 2-1 / 2-2 / 2-3 / 2-4 / part 10

[yuseirra]

161 makes me convinced that he did see the public's reactions towards Ai's death...

if he's really broken, I feel that's one of the things that's contributed to it.

[yuseirra]

I'll risk my life, I'll give it to you Did you not give me time? If all my desires came true, oh, how I wish I could attain that I want to see you I wish upon the stars

(coming to think of it, he's the one that's associated with "Desire" when it comes to feelings related to love-ch158)

[yuseirra]

I've actually become really.. Even more confident with my hikaai analyses (until I get proven wrong..haha) hear me out on why I feel this way, okay?

In the latest chapter, it was revealed that Ai's boyfriend is someone who offers things for Ai, and falls into ruin because of it. He believes there is some kind of destiny for himself. That much, we can all agree with, huh?

If that’s the case, then "Fatal" is this person’s song.

In that case, I’ve already secured the basic points if this were a test, and now I’m just waiting to collect the extra points!

It’s not really about me trying to convince myself...this is really true!

From the start, I always predicted that Hikaru’s breakdown only happened after Ai’s death. The question was never whether he fell apart, but rather how much. He’s always been such an ambiguous character whose exact actions were left unclear.

I got this part right, and honestly, it was the most important part. It wasn’t this person who harmed Ai. (So actually, Aqua’s target for revenge is no longer this person. It’s easy to miss this since the story moves so quickly.)

It’s also confirmed that he was originally a genuinely good person. This part was validated when the god herself confirmed he had a noble and refined soul.

This means Hikaru is not the kind of person who falls into ruin just because something bad happens to him. It was Ai’s death that led to his downfall. In fact, considering everything this character has been through, this makes him closer to "kind," and his mental fortitude is incredibly strong. The idea of him being "noble" aligns well with this. So, ultimately, this confirms that the personality depicted in the flashbacks(the movie arc) is accurate to his true character.

If this is the case, it also explains why Ai liked him so much and wanted to save him, making everything fall into place.

Now, the only question that remains is whether he will actually be saved or if he will remain a terrible criminal. (And honestly, this is the same situation the character was in before the movie arc—it’s like we’ve come full circle. However, now there’s the added advantage of two key pieces of information: Ai wanted to save him, and he really was originally a good person.)

To be honest... I feel like we need to see how the character himself acts before we can properly judge him.

It’s similar to judging a real person.

I feel it’s still too early to jump to conclusions just from seeing a text that goes he's a terrible guy who's killed a lot of people. There hasn’t been a single image of him doing anything specific yet... So, while we can take it into consideration, it is only when we get more detailed flashbacks or scenes where the character himself expresses his own thoughts, that will likely confirm everything.

Given that everything I predicted so far has been right(I really, really did get so many things accurately), it feels highly likely that the story will go the way Ai hoped, with this character being saved.

I’ve been following closely, and I've noticed that even in his "ruined" state, this character still shows a lot of kindness. Plus, he’s an actor and just as much of a liar as Ai was, so you have to really pay attention to interpret him correctly. You can’t just believe what you see!

Right now, I’ve scored over 70 points out of 100 if this were to be a test, but I feel confident that I’ll end up with over 90.

Since we’ve already established that he didn’t hurt Ai and that Ai genuinely wanted to help him, this means there’s a strong narrative push in that direction, and my conclusions about the character are likely to be right, which makes me feel even more confident.

If "Fatal" really is this character’s song, then yes, the emotions in that song—desire, disappointment, despair—are definitely present.

But surprisingly, the song has much less selfishness or possessiveness than one might expect. So, I felt like it wasn’t such a bad kind of love, which is why I’ve depicted that couple so much.

It’s a love where you give and give, without expecting much in return. You just want to hear their voice, to catch their gaze, to have them comfort your pain again. The lyrics even mention that their "fatale" belongs to "no one". It’s a kind of selfless love where you want them so desperately that you can’t live without them, while offering up everything you have, but asking for so little in return. This is a very devoted love. If it were one-sided, it might feel overwhelming or creepy, but with Ai and Hikaru, it’s mutual.

If you look at Hikaru’s actions in Chapter 160 (his testimony is likely the truth, even if Tsukuyomi’s stated goal is real, that kind of motivation would only arise after Ai’s death.) It means this person didn’t have confidence that Ai loved him, so he desperately craved her love in this way. That makes it pitiful. He makes a pass to be Ai's lover, in my book. He seems like a good person. And I take love VERY seriously... haha... I believe love isn’t about receiving, but more about giving. It’s about giving without regret... The narrators of "Mephisto" and "Fatal" embody this a lot.

They don’t ask for much from the other person while giving everything they have. That’s the kind of love Ai’s boyfriend has. What he gives may be a question,(or questionable) but I doubt Ai would have failed to notice a guy capable of harming Ruby(their own daughter for goodness sake) or involved in serial killings... haha. Plus, if he’s described as once having been "noble", a person like that probably wouldn’t cross that final line. Ruby didn't, and I find Ruby having taken after his character quite a bit, they make the same expressions. There’s a higher chance he kept his boundaries intact.

Things will unfold the way Ai wanted them to. The things this person has actually done are quite different from what’s been said about him.

He’s not someone who acts strongly or aggressively—he’s too gentle for that. It’s not that he’s pretending to be kind while having a foul heart; rather, I see he’s pretending to be dark when he’s actually not, which is why his true nature shows through.

It’s true that Ai found and fell in love with a genuinely good person, and they had a period where they were happily together. So I can already see the story heading towards him being saved after being broken by her loss. Ai wants to save the boy who's been deeply suffering and is straying far off after what's happened to her. That's the narrative the story is heading towards, it's the most natural path and I see it coming. Ai is right. She found someone REALLY sweet and he got destroyed, so she wants to help him get back to the way he was.

I’ve gotten the overall structure right, and now I just need to collect the extra points :)

[yuseirra]

At this point, it's getting on my nerves!! How are they going to explain all this if it ISN'T how it is?? As bizarre this whole logic about gods are, it's never left my head and it never got debunked and IT ONLY GETS ENHANCED...HOW ARE THEY GOING TO EXPLAIN THE WEIRD THINGS THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING IN THIS WORK? I'll be so frustrated if they don't!!! It's just so weird!! I've been waiting for answers EVERY WEEK and they never do, the last three episodes were TERRIBLE, they keep beating around the bush even while having our protagonist dead, things are so vague, I just want the truth already so WHAT WAS UP WITH THIS GUY. HOW COULD HE ACHIEVE ALL THESE THINGS. All the clues I caught up till now led me to believe pretty sincerely that Hikaru really was a god of some sort, if THAT'S not going to happen, I just want to know what's been really happening with him and all the incidents with him involved and 50 pages will never be enough even if all of it is devoted to him. I just have no hope, literally but I want to UNDERSTAND this piece. They can't end it without explaining ANYTHING. THAT GETS ON MY NERVES. SO WHAT WAS THIS GUY EVEN?? WHAT WAS THE TRUTH. I DON'T AGREE WITH AQUA ON PUBLIC WISHING LIES. I WANT TO KNOW!! THEY BETTER TELL US!! I've been wrapping my head so much to figure just WHAT this guy is ever since I got back into this series and I deserve a proper answer. I'll take it if they could just give it to me...they sure took their time and I'd HATE it if they never do

[yuseirra]

I've been looking at the myths, it may be Ai(Amenouzume)'s video that she's left to Ruby(Amaterasu) that will encourage and lead her to step out of her room after her brother Aqua(Susannoo)'s death. In that case, this would also match up with the myths of Amenouzume having led Amaterasu out of a cave when she hid in it, due to her brother and it explains why we haven't seen the video Ai's left to Ruby.

Sigh.. So that would certainly take up a portion of the final chapter the way I see it, there's just...not enough pages to explain anything at all in decent depth. This isn't what this piece deserved. I can't hope so much...

I'm still really bitter how the wish she's left to Aqua wasn't able to come true!!; wh y... At least.. At least her bf found out she really did love him back. I feel that'd still be a blessing for Kamiki although it did make him break down(I WOULDN'T HAVE DIVED BACK TO THIS SERIES IF THAT CHAPTER DIDN'T EXIST. AND EVERYTHING WAS PAIN AFTER THAT. WHY...what did I do to deserve this HELP)

[yuseirra]

Ch 161~

Can't draw so much during the week..!

More commentary about 161..

I'm actually convinced Fatal and Mephisto should be Kamiki's song?? I think some things hint of it.

and that he DOES really care about Aqua.

and that he does have to do with Sarutahiko, Amenouzume's husband(although this part is a speculation)

More stuff in the read more:

(first written in another language and chatGPT helped me translate it... I can't write things like this twice ;v; it's a great world here. so convenient~)

Honestly, it's frustrating and a bit agonizing; what is this even about? The plot is stressful, but...

Still, being able to focus like this... I guess it’s a good thing to find a work that hooks you and makes you think deeply in some way.

LOL, it also means I’m living a life where I have enough time to care about a manga, even though I’m currently in a pretty tough spot.

This manga, whether it's in a good or bad direction, seems to be driving me crazy in its own way.

If I’m disappointed, I can always go read something else, (I even got permission from someone to draw a Persona fanfic fanart, but I’ve been too hooked on this manga to do it.. that fanfic was so good.. I need to do it sooner or later..).

But I was so confident about my analyses. Like, really... I’m usually good at picking up on these kinds of things? This manga is great at psychological portrayal, and it was amusing to analyze that, There are just too many things sticking out for me, and things feel uneasy.

It’s not about the pairing... It just keeps bothering me... Am I really missing the mark on this? I’m usually good at sensing these things...

Without the movie arc, this development would be fine, but that arc is sandwiched in there, and I interpreted the character based on that too...

Honestly, every time I listen to the songs, I get this strong feeling like, "This isn’t Aqua." The kind of emotions in these songs, it's not him that's singing them. It's the dad. I immediately posted about it when I first heard it in July. As soon as I heard it, I thought, "This is it," and got a gut feeling.

I really want to feel that emotion again.

Even if Kamiki does turn out to be a serial killer, I still think these songs could describe his inner state.

I think we’ll get some explanation in the next five chapters or so, even if it takes a bit longer.

Also, the expression Kamiki makes when Aqua stabs him is so genuine. Until that moment, he had been smiling, but...

If that expression was because he suddenly felt threatened with his life, it’s a bit pathetic. But... I don’t think that’s the case. What I really pay attention to are the emotional flow and expressions.

When Aqua says he wants to watch Ruby perform, the smile on Kamiki’s face... it’s soft. That’s... definitely a look of affection. It’s not like, “Oh, I've won him over!” or, “Yes, I’ve convinced him!” I interpreted it as Kamiki having paternal love, and there was a scene that backed up that idea earlier. I’m sure he really likes Aqua.

That’s not a bad expression. It’s more like, "Yeah, you wish to see Ruby, don't you. Go ahead, watch her. Keep living" (Which makes me wonder, is he really planning to harm Ruby? If he harms her, maybe he plans to do it after the Dome performance? But even that doesn’t make sense. Does that mean Aqua would have to come back to stab him AGAIN after that takes place?? Does it really add up to his logic for telling him to go watch her?)

Aqua says Kamiki will destroy Ruby’s future, but...

How exactly is he going to do that? Hasn't this guy literally done nothing? If they're talking about the Dome performance, at least that should go off without a hitch, right? So at least until then, Ruby would be safe?? So, Kamiki isn't planning to harm Ruby now at least, right? Even with that weird.. logic that he proposes (I hope he's lying about that tbh)

Then when Aqua smiles and says something like, "Haha, but I’ll just kill you and die with you," while pointing the knife at him again...

Kamiki’s expression at that moment really stands out, and it’s not like a twisted look of being frustrated about things not going his way. It’s not anger or annoyance he's feeling. It’s the same shocked and despairing expression we saw in chapters 146 and 153.

Aqua seems to have no clue what kind of person his father really is, huh? He can’t read him at all.

Honestly, from the way Kamiki speaks, I get the impression that he’s actually quite kind. He’s not saying anything too wrong.

Remember the scene where Ruby gets angry because people were talking carelessly about Ai’s death? Kamiki probably knows about that too. I think Aqua and Ai, and Ruby and Kamiki, are quite alike in nature. Kamiki might’ve felt a lot of grief over Ai at that time. I do believe he loved Ai.

The phrase, "People don’t want the truth," is pretty painful, especially if you think about Ai. That’s why Ai lived telling lies. Isn't Kamiki thinking about what's happened to her, then? By bringing that up? He should have felt it, loving/watching a person like her and what unfolded.. Ai died because of the truth that she had kids with him. Ugly fans like Ryosuke and Nino couldn't take her being less than perfect. Wouldn't this have hurt Kamiki too? The fact that they loved each other(At least Ai did genuinely, we know that) was unwanted. People could not accept that, and that's one of the reasons why they had to break up.

From the way Kamiki talks, it feels like he genuinely doesn’t want his son or daughter to go through that kind of pain.

I think Kamiki has a pretty good nature. When you look at how he speaks, it’s gentle, and he seems to genuinely care about Aqua and knows a lot about him. Maybe he’s been watching over him from afar for a long time? He probably even knows who his son has feelings for.

It really feels like Kamiki is trying to persuade him: "I’m fine with dying. But you, you have so many reasons to live, right? Shouldn’t you return to the people you care about?"

And, the way Kamiki reacts after Aqua stabs him also shows it. He’s visibly agitated afterward. His expression noticeably shifts to panic and darkness.

Wait... stop it, don’t do this! That’s what he says.

The way he’s talking to Aqua in that moment.

It’s not like, “How dare you?” but more like, “Aqua, please don’t do this.”

It really seems like he doesn’t want Aqua to die.

He’s really shocked by it.

From his expressions, he seems more shocked by Aqua getting stabbed than by his own fall, like he didn’t even know how to react properly. He's being grabbed onto but he isn't looking at the hands that are grabbing him, his line of sight is on Aqua there

The final expression he makes can seem really pathetic, but...

Oh man, I think that’s the truth of that situation.

And it makes sense because Ai dreamed of raising her kids with this guy. I think he could’ve been a really great father who adored his kids... at least until the point they separated. He was just really young back then.

Doesn’t this guy really love his kids? Even without the movie arc, there have been hints of his concern for them.

I’m not trying to interpret him kindly just because I particularly like or find this character attractive.

If he’s a serial killer psychopath, then yeah, he should die here. When I first got spoiled, my reaction was completely merciless. "Well, he should die if he's like that," I said. But...

I don’t think that’s the case. It really seems like he cares about Aqua.

Oh, and Kamiki’s soul being noble in the past is mentioned, right?

So, he was a good person before?

Well, I guess I wasn’t totally off in reading his character? LOL.

Does that mean he could be a fallen god?(could be a stretch, but there IS a lyric in fatal about fallenness!!!)

Sarutahiko is often described as a "noble" and "just" god, so it’s quite possible that Kamiki’s true nature is based on Sarutahiko, the husband of Ame-no-Uzume = Ai.

That couple was very affectionate, and according to the Aratate Shrine description, they even go as far as blessing marital relationships. Those gods really love each other. In that case, Ai being so fond and loving of Hikaru also makes sense. It could explain why she asked her kids to save him...

So, can't “Fatal” be his song? Maybe he’s fallen from grace?

The lyrics in "Fatal" say things like, "What should I use to fill in what’s missing?" Could that be about human lives? But did he really kill people? How can you save someone after that? That’s why I don’t think he went that far.

"Without you, I cannot live anymore"

“I would sacrifice anything for you”

This isn’t Aqua. This is Kamiki.

Would Aqua do that much for Ai? He shouldn’t be so blind.

When I listened to "Fatal," I immediately thought of "Mephisto" because the two songs are so similar in context.

They’re sung by the same narrator, aren’t they? That made it clear what Kamiki’s purpose was, which is why I started drawing so much about him and Ai after that.

He keeps saying he’ll give up his life and that he wants to see Ai again. This isn’t Aqua! These feelings are different from what Aqua has.

At first, I thought because Ruby = Amaterasu, with Tsukuyomi having shown up, and Aqua perhaps having relations to Susanoo (he’s falling into the sea this time, right? LOL) I wondered if Ai and her boyfriend’s story was based on the major myth of Izanagi and Izanami, since they’re so well-known.

That myth is famous for how the husband tries to save his wife after she dies, though he fails in the end.

The storyline is similar to Mephisto’s, so I thought, "Could this be it?"

And then I realized Sarutahiko and Ame-no-Uzume's lores also fit really well. Ai thinking Kamiki was like a jewel when they first met is similar to how Ame-no-Uzume saw Sarutahiko shining when they first met. Sarutahiko guiding Ame-no-Uzume is similar to how Hikaru taught Ai how to act. They even had descendants that have a title that means "maiden who's good at dancing" The two also fell for each other at first sight. The shrine the characters visit in the story is supposedly where those two met and married. If they REALLY are those gods in essence, It feels like something went wrong with the wish because one or both of them became twisted.

Anyway, I think Kamiki was originally noble but fell from grace, and it’s likely that Ai’s death was the catalyst.

But I’m not sure if he really went as far as killing people.

What is Tsukuyomi even talking about? I’ve read it several times, and I still don’t fully understand.

I really hope she's wrong because… killing others to make Ai’s name carry more weight? That doesn’t make any sense. What does “the weight of her name” supposed to mean?? I don't think that's something that should be taken just at face value, I feel like there's more behind this idea.

What kind of logic is that? And on top of that, I can’t understand why Ai’s life would become more valuable if Kamiki dies. It just doesn’t follow.

Why would he even say that?

He must be really confident... Does he think he’s someone greater than Ai?

Even so, how does it connect?

I read two books today, because I started wondering if my reading comprehension has dropped. Thankfully, I’m still able to read books just fine. It’s not like I can’t read, you know? I’ve taken media literacy classes and pride myself on not having terrible reading comprehension.

I tried to make sense of what exactly the heck this may mean, and I think.. if it were to mean something like, “I’ll offer my life as a sacrifice to Ai,” I’d at least get that. That kind of logic, in a way, has some practical meaning.

Kamiki talked about sacrifices? tributes? offerings? in chapter 147. I really remember certain scenes clearly because I’ve gone over them carefully. In that case, if Kamiki dies, then the weight or value of his life would transfer to Ai, and that would “help” her, right?

If the story is going in that direction,

when I look at “Mephisto” and “Fatal,” I can see that by doing this, Kamiki would have a chance to either save Ai or get closer to her. At least that makes some sense.

But is it really right for Ai to ask someone to save Kamiki, who killed others? As soon as the idea of it came up, I knew something was up.

Because of what Ai's wanted, I think it’s possible that Kamiki didn’t actually go that far. In the songs, they talk about gathering light and offering something, but they don’t say anything about killing people… Kamiki said he’d sacrifice his own life. People around him may have died, but…

Kamiki’s true personality doesn’t seem like the type to do that… And looking at his actions when Aqua was stabbed??

He hasn’t shown any direct actions yet, so I still don’t know how far he’d actually go.

It’s not that I don’t believe Tsukuyomi’s words entirely,

but I don’t think the conclusion is going to be something like, “Ai should’ve never met Kamiki.”

Every time we see Kamiki’s actual actions, there’s this strange gentleness to him, and that’s what’s confusing me.

The more I look closely, the weirder it feels, and something about it just bothers me. If Kamiki were truly just a completely crazy villain, I’d think, “Oh, so that’s who he is,” and I wouldn’t deny it.

But each time, I start thinking that maybe Ai didn’t meet someone so strange after all? Ai liked him that much, so on that front, it makes sense to me. I want to believe that’s the right conclusion. I mean, doesn’t what he says sound kind? Isn’t he gentle?

No, but seriously, when Kamiki listened to Aqua’s reasons for wanting to live, I thought his expression was warm. It didn’t seem like some calculated expression like “according to plan” like Light Yagami. It felt more like a fond, affectionate expression. I draw too, you know. I pay a lot of attention to expressions. This character often makes expressions that really stand out.

It’s like he’s genuinely trying to convince Aqua not to do anything reckless. Maybe I’m being soft on Kamiki because he’s Ai’s boyfriend? But actually, it’s not like that?

I mean, I’m the type who’s like, “Anyone who did something bad to Ai should die!!” It’s because he’s a character. If this were a real person, I wouldn’t so casually tell someone to go die or say such strong things.

But… he seems like a good person.

+It’s a small thing, but why did Kamiki drop his phone while talking about Ruby? Ppft If you drop it from that height, it’d probably crack. Was he trying to look cool? (It’s an Apple phone, huh.) Is he a bit clumsy? Well... since it looks like him and Aqua are about to fall into the sea, maybe it was a blessing he did so. The phone might be saved after all. If he manages to climb out of there, he could contact someone with that phone.

[yuseirra]

あなたがいないと生きていけない 何もかも捧げてしまってもいい あなたの愛がまだ足らない 欠けたものは何で埋めたらいい？

You know, I just had the weirdest idea ever,

I've noticed how the song "Mephisto" and the new op "Fatale" has lyrics like:

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine(Mephisto)

I can't live without you I could give you everything Your love is still not enough What can I make up for what's missing(Fatale)

What if this is written from Kamiki's perspective? I wondered just what importance the gods have in this story, they're implied to have a role but they haven't really been doing much... what if Kamiki had this wish to revive Ai, and is murdering other stars as sacrifices to the gods in order to make that a reality? I honestly don't think he'd have intended for Ai's death at this point, from the stuff I've seen, she was sort of his everything and she probably is still. It wouldn't be a surprise if he feels like that. I still have to learn more about this character to talk about him better, and I might be making a fool of myself but I'm free to make all the wrong guesses now lol

If this is the case, he'd sort of be like a more extreme version of Aqua(since mephisto and fatale seems to be written from aqua's perspective as well) Aqua thinks he's done the unforgivable but well...now there's someone who ACTUALLY went too far.

I know this seems cheesy but I just..can't see how the gods will be tied into the story. They're mentioned time to time but what are they even up to? The manga is ending and they'll never be acknowledged at this rate, why are they even mentioned then? I bet they do have something to do with Kamiki and his motives, he did say he had something to do...

[yuseirra]

Okay so I read onk ch 154 and kamiki literally SAYS Ai was the girl he was willing to sacrifice his own life for. The phrasing is EXACTLY like that. That really lines up with what's being mentioned in Mephisto and Fatal about giving lives and all. Those must be HIS songs and I'm getting this idea that he still means what he says

Because, just when would he have thought about having to "sacrifice" his life for Ai? I don't think thoughts like that would've crossed his mind in the past when they were still young and together, there wasn't a need for something as "dire" as sacrifices then. It must be something that's came after

When they were dating, Ai was the one that was older and SHE was the one who's protected HIM. It looks like she was the one who had more control over the relationship too. She was the one who's probably made the sacrifices(with the breakup being one too, from her point of view) so what circumstance brought kamiki to say he was willing to do that for her? (Though, I get how he'd be like he'd be able to give anything for Ai, it can be inferred that he was that attached to her) I'm sticking with my earlier guesses that he's actually doing that now and it has something to do with the gods (his name IS KAMIki + hikaru(light), right?)

Even Aqua's never said he'd give his life away FOR Ai's, did he? For her cause, and revenge, maybe, but Ai's already someone who's passed. I think the songs are really onto something. They sound too.. strong.. And a bit murky for it to be entirely from Aqua's perspective. It's going in even further than what's normally considered healthy, aren't they? It's about someone who's hopelessly lost and seeking for love. That's how Ai thought Kamiki was like too, she thought he was lost and needs saving.

Fatal's lyrics are too close to this guy's mental state, I just can't unsee it, seeing that new chapter having the same kind of stuff the lyrics are saying!! Makes me go this has to be it!! I think this should be it!! He's ACTUALLY thought about giving his own life for Ai at some point confirmed!! So shouldn't there be some things that leads up to/stems out from it?

I might embarrass myself later with these theories I'm throwing out later but I gotta say.. Try listening to Fatal and Mephisto picturing it's kamiki that's singing it, it clicks.

[yuseirra]

On the other hand, she disappeared. The warmth of conversations repeated with my partner Easily turned into hatred in my mind.

In that moment, my consciousness surged, My head filled with an overwhelming amount Of calculations that felt like they would never end.

This is the "transformation of human tissue." Doesn't the color in those sharp, clear eyes Seem almost monstrous?

I'll draw it just like I did back then, "Like you and me."

I’ll never forgive—if there was a bright future, It was all taken away from that day onward.

As if to confirm my own existence, today, once again—

Let’s start the experiment, with a countdown. Shall we open that door, just one more time?

I've been listening to Dead and Seek as I draw this guy(check the link..why am I convinced that what's happened to him is EXACTLY like what the song's story goes. Please give that song a listen, it's very cool!!)

I watched the part where he appears and his eyes are actually REALLY LIGHT compared to what I thought it'd be?? That'd mean his eyes were originally of a bright hue, hey, could it really be that it were to be a different color before having shifted into this current lavender? IT COULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN GOLDEN..I can't give up on that because it works with his name you know???;; what if it really got tainted into that color?

ALSO!!!! HE IS THE GUY WHO'S BEEN MAKING THE WISH:

"I want to see you" in Mephisto!!!!!!! "I want to get closer to the only Ai" in Fatal!!! HE HAD HIMSELF THE WISH TO MEET AI AND BECOME CLOSER TO HER!!! THAT'S WHY HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT WISHES WHEN HE MET HIS CHILDREN!! HE WAS WORKING TO MAKE THAT A REALITY!!! HE MADE THAT WISH "UPON A STAR"! And that star must have somehow given him the idea that he could achieve just that if he did whatever he was doing, that's why he couldn't stop!!!

He's all like: "If life returns to you, if it reaches you I don't care what happens to me" (Mephisto)

"Without you, I cannot live anymore I would sacrifice anything for you"(Fatal)

RIGHT??? RIGHT???? WELL, THAT'S WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING!! HE WANTED AI TO LIVE!! HE WANTED TO GIVE EVERYTHING HE HAD FOR HER SAKE AND THE STAR GAVE HIM FALSE HOPE!!! or maybe if he did go through with it Ai could have been brought back in a way, so that's why he was all like he can't die now or that there's something he must still do. He realized Ai loved him back so, I guess that made him even more extreme in the recent eps because it made him even more desperate, Ai did so much for him...he doesn't care about his life you know?? He was already good as being dead after she passed. I think THAT'S what's been happening regarding Kamiki. I don't think it makes sense any other way. He wanted Ai back..he thought he killed her and was overridden with guilt after it and wanted to do something to reverse it. And the way I see it, something took advantage of his feelings and caused him to grow insane and drift apart from his innate tender self.

[yuseirra]

I learned that the masculine form for "Fatale" is "Fatal"... oh, then I get it, the song is named that because it's HIM that's singing this song...

It's bizarre how people around Kamiki seem to grow insane. If Ai is a "Fatale", I think he's the same as her on that same note. He's also a "Fatal." That may be why his life's been so unfortunate.

That aside, no one understands or loves this guy. I totally get how he'd be so desperate for Ai. Mephisto and Fatal HAS to be his song...

[yuseirra]

ONK Relationship Parallels- an Analysis!!

In short, in terms of the Aqua-Kana and Kamiki-Ai relationship, it's actually Kamiki who's similar to Kana in that relationship while Ai is to Aqua.

Also, out of the twins, Ruby is the one who resembles the dad in many ways in terms of psychology and behavior, even compared to Aqua. Aqua is the one who takes after Ai in many situations and I find it really clever... they do take after both their parents, of course. But I think their base personality is that the daughter takes after the dad while the son takes after the mother.

I wrote about that aspect today! I think it's really interesting, so I'd like for you to read it!

While skimming through the "Oshi no Ko" manga, I found something really interesting:

If we try to compare the relationship between Kamiki and Ai to Aqua and Akane's relationship, it's pretty straightforward that Kamiki is in Aqua's position and Ai is in Akane's position. (To some extent, Akane has the feeling of wanting to protect Aqua, to take care of him, and to hope that he lives well.)

But if we compare Aqua and Kana's positions, it's surprisingly Kana who is in Kamiki's position, and Aqua who is in Ai's position. There are subtle parallels between them (an attempted/experienced sexual exploitation by an older person—though I'm not sure if this was intentional; the side who received a meal during a date (and Ai-Aqua being the one who doesn't usually dress up but does so for the occasion); the desire to be noticed by the other person—if we consider Fatal as Kamiki's song, there's a recurring theme of "look at me" in the lyrics, and that song is indeed associated with that character!! Kana is all about wanting to have Aqua look at her too; receiving praise from the other person for being "shiny"). And, of course, Kana received quite a bit of help from Aqua. However, just as Kana occasionally does so for Aqua, the idea of "pulling someone out of the darkness" fits Ai’s role concerning Kamiki.

Also, among the twins, I’ve had a vague sense that Kamiki’s personality resembles Ruby's more than Aqua's.

After reading Volume 13, that feeling grew stronger. Kamiki’s past is extremely tragic, and he brings misfortune with him. People around him die a lot. There’s something tied to the divine, perhaps? If you carefully read the manga, several comments hint that something is up with Ruby. If one of the twins is born with the talent of being a "star" and is befitting to be one, it would be Ruby. Regarding this, Kana feels an inferiority complex about Ruby, and Memcho also mentions there’s something special about Ruby. When Ruby decides to become popular, she draws everyone’s attention instantly, and even Miyako doesn’t doubt Ruby’s potential to rise. If someone was chosen by the gods out of the twins, it would be Ruby... Though it’s a given both were chosen. It does seem that both Kamiki and Ruby have some divine connection. They both lived extremely unfortunate lives, with people around them dying, while they survive. When it comes to them, events unfold in ways too peculiar to be mere coincidence. I feel like Kamiki's being cursed by a god while Ruby could be being favored by one, but the one cursing Kamiki might also be "blessing" him in an unpredictable way? Anyhow he's tied to "a star that ruins lives" if we take what Fatal is saying at face value- and I think we actually CAN at this point. Stars are so important in this series.

Ruby’s line, "I only bring misfortune,"(CH 121-122) is something Kamiki could likely say as well (if you look at that character’s life, it really seems like he drags misfortune along with him). Kamiki never mentions his family, nor they have any appearance in the plot which suggests that, like Sarina’s case, even if he had a family, he was completely neglected. (Their kid’s going through things, but what are his parents doing..?); the idea of working hard for years out of a desire to see someone again (if "Mephisto"/"Fatal" is indeed that character’s song); the longing to be loved...

If Ai were alive and they figured it out the way Aqua reveals it to Ruby, this character might have broken down and cried like Ruby did... The same could be said for Aqua, though.

Ai has a firmer personality, while Kamiki has a softer side. Even when Ruby turned dark, she couldn’t actually harm others. In that case, how broken could Kamiki be? It feels like he might have been indirectly involved in things rather than directly. If Ai were alive, she probably would’ve somehow prevented him from walking down a path that didn’t suit his nature (and from what I sense, she did ultimately defend him from completely going down that path through the video she's left). When Aqua shows the keychain and says, “This doesn’t suit you, so I hope you give up on this path,” Ruby immediately returns to having the white star eyes again. This is similar to how Kamiki pulls himself together after watching Ai’s video after the movie arc. The effect is almost instantaneous for both Ruby and Kamiki. Of course, if seeing that didn’t change his mind in such a way, it would’ve been ineffective in the first place...

Ai’s way of dealing with situations involves hiding her feelings... Though she smiles brightly, she kept a distance and hid things deeply. On the other hand, Kamiki pretends there’s no darkness, acting as if everything is bright, and approaches others cheerfully. This resembles how Aqua and Ruby deal with things, in that respective order. So, there’s definitely a part of Aqua that takes after Ai and Ruby that takes after their father.

(clarifying this after an inquiry: Ai and Hikaru's very similar in that they form masks and pretend they're happy and fine- that's what drew them together and it is what they share in common. The details about it are a bit different though. Ai grows distant to people while Hikaru wants to get attached to people. In terms of attachment theory, Ai leans more on the avoidant type and Hikaru is the anxious type. So Ai forms a mask to appear as if "she's okay" but fails to rely in others when she needs it- whereas Hikaru does that to receive love and affection to fill his emptiness. That's how he keeps approaching others but gets used up and exploited whereas, nobody in B-Komachi could become so close to Ai, nor have anyone really understand her and feel she was mysterious and secretive. In terms of this, the way Aqua and Ruby act parallels them. Aqua avoids letting others learn behind his mask and keeps his distance to keep them and himself from getting hurt, whereas Ruby tried her best to be a good child when she was Sarina. She was attached to her mother and craved love the way Hikaru was towards people.

+Amaterasu is the sun goddess, and I found that Sarutahiko, the husband of Ame-no-Uzume, was a native sun god worshiped in the region before Amaterasu. As the influence of the faction believing in Amaterasu grew stronger, Sarutahiko’s influence diminished, and he gave up his position. So, Ruby and Kamiki are both connected to the sun. The description of Sarutahiko having a shining body in their legends seems to be a remnant of being a sun deity. Kana is also compared to the sun, and as mentioned earlier, when comparing Aqua-Kana and Kamiki-Ai, Kamiki often corresponds to Kana’s position. Even their names start similarly with "Ka"- Kamiki and Kana, and "A." Aqua and Ai.

++ Aqua’s pattern of intentionally distancing himself from those he cares about (continuously pushing Kana away, trying to distance himself from Ruby) is similar to what Ai did with Kamiki. Kamiki also misunderstood and thought Ai didn’t like him, that he wasn’t needed like everyone else, and was hurt and saddened. That's really similar to the way Kana thought about Aqua although they made up pretty fast. While Kamiki and Aqua share similar thought processes, Aqua resembles Ai, and Ruby or Kana resembles Kamiki in the way they handle situations and the emotions they experience. It's fascinating and clever if you think about it.

There seem to be a lot of parallels. If this was done intentionally, the author is really smart...

There’s a lot to uncover in this manga if you look at it carefully. I think this manga is best read all at once in volumes. Then, surprisingly, the structure doesn’t seem bad at all. The author must have had a lot of thoughts in mind...

Tsukuyomi’s family also doesn’t seem to be very good, the way she briefly describes how they aren't so normal in CH127 and Ai and Kamiki’s family environments were the worst, weren’t they?

It makes me think that the families of gods or those possessed by gods turn out to be miserable. Do their families have a hard time accepting them for some reason? Maybe because the essence of these children is far from ordinary? In my opinion, the lyric "(Ai is the) reincarnation of the brightest star" wasn’t just thrown there. The English version of IDOL also mentions Ai being the "brightest star reborn indeed", "the brightest star is residing in you(Ai)" and Kamiki is probably similar to her in aspect… I think those characters' true essence is divine. The mythological elements fit together too well.

Maybe when Tsukuyomi selects souls to reincarnate she picks those with unfortunate family backgrounds for this reason? So many thoughts come to mind.

It doesn’t seem like these traits are mere coincidences.

+Based on the songs and subtle hints, it really seems like Kamiki was REALLY planning to die, but stopped after hearing Ai’s words…

Even though the hints are vague, does this character really have any reason to want to continue on living in the first place?; It feels like he was planning to do something related to Ai and then die, but after hearing Ai’s words, he couldn’t go through with it because Ai wouldn't want it. It seems like he stopped immediately and came back… That's... really sad.

The manga doesn’t show exactly what happened, but I think Ai probably did something for this character that’s very similar to what Aqua did for Ruby or what Kana did for Aqua (I don’t think it could be anything else).

Whether they’ll show this in the story or just gloss over it... I doubt it will be the latter, right?;; I really need them to depict this if they're going to throw songs like Mephisto and Fatal out there. I'm WAITING...

There's another analysis I wrote regarding WHY Ai contacted Kamiki through the phone booth but also reacted a bit harsh to the idea of reconciling: I wrote another post about it earlier, but I'll do it again!

It’s really important that Ai was the one who contacted her boyfriend first. I’m not sure if others think the same way I do, but the fact that this character reached out shows just how much she trusted and liked her boyfriend. I pointed this out even before Chapter 154 came out, WAY before, when I wrote my first analysis about her character. If she didn’t like him, she could’ve just continued to stay away. And it turns out that she didn’t contact him because she liked him too much—she disappeared because she didn’t want to be a burden. So, if she didn’t care for him/or cared about him- either way, she could’ve just stayed out of touch like she had, but why did she decide to reach out?

In short, it’s because she heard the kids talking negatively about their father. It wasn’t just because she was worried they were getting some bizarre ideas like her giving birth all alone without the dad(although that could have been part of it). Letting the father know about the kids and bringing him into their home was a risky move from Ai’s perspective. After all, she was calling a man she had parted ways with years ago into a home where it was just her and her two little four-year-olds. It would be difficult to handle any unexpected situation in such a state.

But Ai wasn’t worried about that at all.

Ai had a good understanding of Kamiki’s personality. She probably has way more information than the readers do, having spent so much time watching and living with him. So, the Kamiki Ai envisioned wasn’t someone who would ever harm her or her precious, carefully hidden children in any way.

On the contrary, Kamiki was someone she wanted to show the children to, someone she hoped could clear up their misunderstandings. When Ai talks about Kamiki, you can tell she really, really, really loves him. I know that’s true. It’s definitely true. The words that come out of her mouth is SO strong. You can't say things like that unless you find the other person so endearing, especially with someone who was deeply hurt by people by the way she was.

She thought it wasn't good for her kids to have a negative reaction when they think of their father, or to say things like “there’s no such thing as a man” when he’s mentioned.

Ai knew her kids were smart and figured they would get along well with their father if they met him. She thought they would accept each other well, and that Kamiki would like her bright kids too, so she contemplated it and then decided to call him, feeling it would be the better option.

If you think about it, back when they first met, Ai invited Kamiki into her home right away. She wasn’t wary of him at all… she treated him very differently from others. And nothing bad happened at that time either.

The conclusion we can draw from this is that Kamiki, in normal circumstances, could never harm Ai or the children. That character just can't do something like that, it's NOT his nature. Even though he was young, he would have turned out to be a pretty decent parent.

But why didn’t they stay together? Because a scandal would’ve hindered Kamiki’s future.

I noticed Ai only completed junior high school... It seems she dropped out after having the children... That’s heartbreaking.

Did Kamiki continue going to school?; Anyway, at that time, they were both still very young—neither of them had even turned 20. If they had officially gotten together, it would’ve attracted a lot of attention. Would it have just looked like they were dating?; Japan seems to frown heavily on idols being in relationships, right? I suppose it’s the same in other countries too?;

Ai left thinking everything would be fine as long as they weren’t linked to him, then raised the children on her own till that day. She eventually ended up contacting him again, however, to resolve the misunderstandings their precious children had about the dad... If they had gotten back together at that point, it would’ve made their breakup meaningless… I think that was what was going on her mind. She can't give the answer he wants and say they can get together in that situation. But she still wants to show him the kids. You have to think about that. It didn't occur to Kamiki either, and Aqua's "revenge"... well, I guess that's about him having missed her intent on that aspect. It's not entirely Kamiki's fault, Ai's really blunt about a lot of things and it backfires in a terrible way... but what she says can mean more things than one, it sometimes has more than what can be taken the way it's said in a direct sense. Ai is really caring. And she was really loving. "The god who loves people" is definitely linked to her in some way...

[yuseirra]

One more thing to note about Ch160 now that it must be out: Tsukuyomi is a god, so the information she withholds and displays is something that must be the truth. She said kamiki has three feelings associated to love: Desire, Disappointment and Despair.

What kamiki said in 154 was a lie, right? He said he despaired because Ai rejected him and that caused him to try and scare her but it was not true.

He was smiling as he prepared the bouquet in this new episode. This means he was ACTUALLY happy after the call. He was in high hopes to give Ai something. If she received the bouquet well, he could have gathered his courage to go meet her and his kids. So his reasons for having despaired ISN'T because of the rejection. He is in despair because Ai died.

This should be obvious at this point but I felt the need to clear it up!

The disappointment is probably associated to the breakup/the rejection he had.

Then the desire? What could that be? I wrote it earlier in my analysis of him, it's the songs that fill in the blank.

He desires to bring Ai back. He desires to see her again. He desires to hear her voice. To have her see him. To die in her spot. He desires to become like her if she can't be brought back...

Fatal and Mephisto's full of these desires. And desires are DRIVES. It's connected to what said character wants to do and works for in the story.

In 160 we see him with a panel saying "looking for love"<the translation I saw earlier said "desiring for love/wanting love" there and usually.. What I read tends to be closer to the original jpn text. Anyhow that is Kamiki's "desire". Please listen to Fatal again with that in mind, the feelings imbued in that song and Mephisto is identical to what he's going through or so I think. He ISN'T floating that smile he masks himself in that particular panel, either.

That's his motive. That's what's he's up to. That's what he wants.