#fanfiction is an outlet for many to express themselves and find an escape

[fangswbenefits]

Here's the thing:

Everyone is allowed to have and voice their opinions, sure. However, I see no point in going to an author and announcing you're not reading their story anymore. People write fanfiction out of love for the source material and because it's a way to express ourselves with others around us.

It's okay if a story isn't for you. If you've been reading it and suddenly realise it's not something you want to read any longer, it's okay to drop it. However, be mindful that you are going directly to the author when you send asks or drop replies. We are going to read that and often wonder what we did wrong... it can potentially cause us to eclipse our creativity, especially when we're already struggling with putting something out there.

There is literally no benefit from telling a writer that you're leaving. This is not an airport. No need to announce your departure.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

can we adress how toxic some of these self/harm and suicide fics are?? as someone who has struggled with these issues, treating them as just a way for the two characters to get together, or one character to be the savior who cures someone of their problems? I'm so frickin over it. continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention is a symptom of something major. This is not something i like seeing romanticized. at all.

[CONTENT WARNING FOR ENTIRE POST: heavy discussions of trauma, suicide, self harm, depression, political issue mentions, and eating disorders. Please proceed with care. I am not cutting the post because I think the message is important, so scroll past until my icon disappears <3 Stay safe, My Lovelies.]

Hey Nonny

Okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here because you mention you DO have struggles with these issues, so I’m going to state right up front here and say I AM NOT DISREGARDING YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL. Your view of this topic is valid, and it’s not something I am ever going to say is wrong for you. 

I would like to offer an olive branch, here, Nonny, and give you an alternative take on this, because I’m concerned that perhaps you are still coping with your own struggles and in return, you unwittingly and unintentionally are coming off as unsympathetic to other people’s coping mechanisms.

I KNOW how hard it is to see another view when yours is the only one that seems right, especially after a tragedy or after dealing with heavy things. But all I am asking is for you to temporarily extend some empathy as I discuss my thoughts in this post, and I apologize in advance if I come off as dickish, because, again, it’s hard to see past your own feelings, and I tend to give a “firm but understanding” approach to asks like this. It’s NOT meant to call you our personally. Just asking for an open mind.

I will tackle this ask in a similar fashion to this post here, which talks about shipping vs fetishization so CW for that, as well as like this post here, where we discuss pet peeves. My assumption here is that Nonny is unsure about what “romanticizing” actually entails, and how much this ask is basically Gatekeeping Fiction 101, a thing that’s been going on since the beginning of storytelling. The ask is perceived by me to be emotionally unaware of how unsympathetic it actually sounds, and in turn can unintentionally upset people who engage in these stories.

First thing’s first, Nonny, and I said it before, I GET IT. I understand what you’re going for here, why you feel it’s toxic, and why you think it shouldn’t exist. Here’s the thing, though: what you’re ACTUALLY calling for here is censorship and gatekeeping because YOU PERSONALLY take issue with something, want the fandom specially curated just for you, because it PERSONALLY OFFENDS YOU. And that, it itself, is what’s really toxic, here. Just because YOU are offended, does not mean that it’s not helpful to SOMEONE ELSE, and it’s selfish to make such a demand of people.

Let me explain.

As I mention in the link above re: shipping, many people read and write fics to cope with the reality of their own experiences. Nonny, your experience is NOT the same as someone else’s. Your pain is NOT universal, and you DON’T KNOW what that author has been through; for all you know, they spent 6 months in-hospital after attempting suicide, and they are now simply processing their trauma through storytelling. 

Or, “continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention” ? It’s a VERY REAL THING that ACTUALLY happens in real life, and perhaps it happened to that author, or they want to write an alternate ending to their pain.

Or, “one character to be the saviour who cures someone of their problems?” is something a suicide survivor WISHES someone did for them. Because they feel alone in the world and don’t want to be alone anymore.

These stories are simply escapism for people, either to learn about or share what these mental illnesses do to people, or are the “fantasies” of survivors, of their ideal outcome to their own tragedies. Coping with guilt over the loss of someone they feel they could have saved. The brutal truth about realty.

And sometimes, it is because some people need a good cry and a feel-good happy ending, because real life? Well, it rarely has those happy endings and so few opportunities to let us cry, and sometimes life is just easier when we view it through the eyes of fictional characters. Do you not want someone to save you sometimes Nonny? And I mean metaphorically here, too. Someone to just take all of your hellish burdens off those shoulders for one day. Someone who will come in to save you from yourself. I know I do.

And, well, sometimes, Nonny, it makes people feel less alone in this socially distanced world.

They’re not glorifying that issue Nonny. They’re telling their story.

Here are some thoughts:

Romanticization: Some trendy teen outlet selling a shirt with “mentally diseased” written across it.

NOT Romanticization: A character in a story coming to terms with a diagnosis of mental illness and learning ways to adapt. Their partner is involved 100% and they learn together.

Romanticization: Sherlock merchandise being sold with “I’m a high functioning sociopath” (not mention ableist as all heck)

NOT Romanticization: A character self-harms because of depression, and character B helps the character through their pain and together they get proper therapy and treatment.

Romanticization: Calling yourself “OMG I’m so bipolar!” because it’s trendy.

NOT Romanticization: A clinically depressed author, who survived a suicide attempt, wanting to tell their story through characters the world is already familiar with, and one that a touchy subject can be expressed and understood by other people, because they’re not ready to write the “real” book. Fandom is a safety net for them.

See what I mean Nonny? We don’t KNOW what kind of pain these authors have PERSONALLY been through, and to censor them from having their voices heard and their stories told is just not on for me.

And let me be clear: YES OF COURSE romanticization happens EVERYWHERE. I am not denying that. But your ask is coming off like EVERY STORY EVER WRITTEN is glorification of something. By your logic:

Disabled people shouldn’t write about their disabilities because they’re romanticising themselves.

The authors with medical degrees shouldn’t write realistic med-fics because some where in the world, ONE person MAY HAVE had a similar experience as Character A and B.

Someone broke their foot in ballet so they shouldn’t write a story about a ballet dancer who broke their hip because it may offend ONE ballerina SOMEWHERE in space and time who got sideline at the prime of their career? 

Stories about LGBT+ people shouldn’t be written because homophobes think it’s icky.

We shouldn’t write about wizards because it offends high school catholic pastors (an actual thing that happened)? 

How about cancer stories because kids die of cancer all the time? 

Non-fiction autobiographies about holocaust survivors is not okay.

Science books offend flat earthers, so we shouldn’t write those.

Books about the Big Bang and a 4.5 billion-year-old earth offends creationists, so burn those.

A now-adult child rape victim writing their survival stories to help get their often-in-power abusers behind bars are taboo.

True crime stories from detectives on those cases shouldn’t be told because they weren’t the victim.

Non-fiction in general because someone somewhere may have had that one singular thing happen to them.

How about coping with grief over a parent’s sudden death because I personally might find offense in that since that was a horridly traumatic experience in my life?

Do you see how progressively out of touch this argument is? (the answer to all of these: authors should be allowed to write them, because stories make us human). Your argument leads down the very dangerous path to censorship of books, the internet, and history... to have people only read and learn what someone else dictates, leading to... well.

I’m not trying to be a dick here, Nonny, I’m really not. But I think you’re really missing the entire point of fiction and story telling. I feel you’re failing in the empathy game here, and failing to understand what romanticizing really actually is. 

Whenever I get asks like this, I always feel like the Nonnies don’t really know much about pre-Ao3. I come from “early internet” fandom age, and I’m talking before tags existed. Back when I had to go buy a book at Coles and guess what was in it based on a cover description. No “amazon reviews”. No “harmful content warning” stickers. You just picked up that book, and sometimes you get a sweet story about a friends exploring an alien landscape, and other times WHOOOPS ACCIDENTAL ALIEN SEX I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR. And sometimes, it ended with a dark story about death, and the reality of coping with it.

Twenty years ago, books on the shelves at bookstores and libraries were the only place you could do your reading and they certainly do NOT have tags on them... Modern tagging of stories are a REALLY recent thing introduced probably no less than 15 years ago and was perfected by Ao3 (which was started in 2009). 

These days, there is no excuse if you only consume fanfiction on Ao3. Fics are tagged with proper possible-trigger tags 90% of the time. They have a VERY METICULOUS filtering system. You aren’t being forced to read the fics, you don’t have to read the fics, so use those tag filters, they exist for a reason.

So, with that in mind, I genuinely DON’T GET this attitude about people wanting everything sugar coated and saccharine by default. Especially when you can LITERALLY CURATE YOUR OWN CONTENT. Life isn’t sugar coated. And fiction shouldn’t have to be either. People tag fics with triggers for a reason.

As they used to say back in my early internet days: Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t comment, skip, next story.

And to put this ALL into perspective, so that you don’t think I’m talking out of my ass, I’m going to reveal something here: Do you know what fics I can’t read, Nonny, because they trigger me? Eating disorders. That’s self harm, Nonny, in a very different way. But you know what? I know that those fics DO help other ED people so I’m not going to sit her and tell people NOT to rec or write them. And some of those authors who write those stories are processing their own ED through those stories, healing in their own way. And you know what I do when I see one of those fics? I don’t read them, move on, next story.

I’m sorry if you perceive this as me being harsh with you here, Nonny, and you DON’T have to agree with me and you can block me and never talk to me again, and I’ll understand. As I stated at the beginning, I’m offering an alternative perspective, and helping you to see that some people take comfort in these types of stories.

I think what this all boils down to Nonny, after all of this, and rereading your question a final time to see if I missed covering anything, is that (and feel free to shit on me if I am wrong here) I’m getting the impression – as an unprofessional outsider looking in – that you’re still struggling with your inner demons, whether you realize it or not. The tone and brashness of your ask has me believing this... It feels like it was written after a trigger-moment and you needed to vent AT someone because you are alone, and that hurts my heart so much. I truly hope you find peace in your mind, soon, and I hope you have someone to talk to professionally, or at least a friend. (tw under link, suicidal ideation discussion and links to phone numbers that can help you). I only wish the best for you, my Nonny.

Anyway. I welcome other people to chime in here, respectfully, and let me know if I have the wrong take here. Because I genuinely don’t think I do, but I am not a professional, so my entire thing that took me 3 hours to write here is probably moot. I’m especially interested (on anon in my asks if you’re not comfy with revealing yourselves) on thoughts from other people who have survived the original topics here, as well as any therapists and authors as well.

Take care of yourself Nonny. And please curate your own content for your mental health. Ao3 has an “exclusionary tag system” as well, please use it. *hugs*

[archived-stuff99999]

Yeah, there are some people who go overboard with self shipping or other types of coping methods you find on Tumblr but honestly you're a random person on the internet just like they are. It is simply not up to you to decide if someone is taking it "too far" when all you've done is scroll through their blog posts. If they are not hurting anyone, and not hurting themselves try to stay in your lane and be considerate. Fandom at its very core is supposed to be fun and expressive, and so many people start these wars that really don't need to be started.

Not to mention this type of harassment mostly harms vulnerable people like kids and neurodivergent people.

For every person you assume is taking things too far and being "delusional" there is someone who just uses these things as a comfort outlet and knows that they're a comfort outlet and these people are most likely the same person.

We're all in fandom to escape to fantasy worlds. Let them. Don't police it, and don't assume you know everything about a person from a handful of posts on a blog literally designed to be idealistic and full of fantasies. There is a living breathing person on the other end of your harassment and you wont accomplish anything besides making them ashamed of liking things is that really what you want to do? Is that really the kind of person you want to be? The type of person who goes around shaming people because they dared to enjoy something you disliked or thought was a bit odd?

Also, forget cringe culture. Write that self-insert, give them crazy anime hair and make the beautiful! Make a fursona! Make it bright green or rainbow! Write a 400k fanfiction about Captain America running a hotdog stand and marrying Harry Potter. I don't care. Do it. Create what makes you happy, be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Your creation has worth and you deserve to make things that make you happy.

The world is ugly enough without flying off the handle at people over such trival things.

[firestorm1991]

Writer/Reviewer Etiquette

So, I've been seeing quite a bit of negativity in all fandoms. I recently had this experience  on my birthday, no less.  Fellow writers I speak with have experienced it too, and so I'm taking time to write this message in hope that it will help.  There are rules of etiquette we as writers or reviewers should follow.

  1. Bad grammar doesn't equal a bad story.

I used to be guilty of thinking that a story with awful grammar was truly terrible.  Some actually are and you can tell when a person puts no thought into it (especially when they write in chat speak). However, as I've grown, I learned there are many reasons for poor grammar in a story, and usually the plot is still pretty amazing.

The writer could be a teenager just dipping their toes into the writing world, and teens are very impressionable.  Excessive criticism could crush a beginner so badly.

The person could have dyslexia or bad eyesight.  I discovered I was slightly dyslexic and no matter what I do, there's always a few errors even after I and others go over my work.  Some of my writer friends also suffer from dyslexia and impaired eyesight due to health issues and medications.  It doesn't stop them from writing.  

Then there are people for whom English is their second language.  I’ll bet they can still write better than some of the people who call them out on poor grammar (while said people have poor grammar in their criticisms).  Also, if you try writing in their language, I’m sure they could say the same about your grammar too.

If you notice a story with bad grammar, please don't attack your fellow writer.  If you want to do something about it, send the author a private message and ask if they need a beta.  If you don't want to beta, ignore it and just enjoy the story.  You can see how an author improves over time.  That's why they're writing. in addition to fun and stress relief.  Don't make it worse for them.

The same goes for the reviewer.  Don't attack the author.  Whether you're a reader or writer yourself, telling someone their story is awful because of “awful grammar” is only going to hurt them if they're really trying.  That young, impressionable writer may give up altogether because of unkind words.  That person trying to learn English may walk away.  There's always a better way to handle it without degrading or embarrassing a person.

2. Constructive criticism and flames are two different things.

So apparently for me and a few friends, this week is flame week.  That's why I’m bringing it up.  Everyone receives negative reviews.  That's life, and not everyone has to like everything you do.  That being said, if you don't like a story, then you don't have to read it.  If you still want to give your opinion, you're welcome to it, but please do it in a constructive manner.

If you curse at the author, attack them, and tell them they're horrible or their story is horrible, leave harassing messages on multiple projects, or are just downright nasty, that's a flame.  A flame is nothing more than a temper tantrum.

I've been asked how I deal with flames.  Usually the attack is from a guest reviewer that I cannot reply to without calling them out in public, which they want.  They want a rise out of you.  I handle this by moderating my guest reviews.  If the reviews are neutral or constructively negative, then I let them post.  If a reviewer is attacking me and being overly negative, I delete them.  Like I said, flames are temper tantrums and I don't reward that behavior.  Just don't engage, and ignore them.  They just want you to add fuel to their fire.

Most negative reviews I've received that were constructive were from another writer or user who identified themselves, and I was able to discuss issues with them.  Sometimes it was a trigger for them or sometimes they just had really good advice.  Either way, these politely constructed reviews allow writers to grow, and that's how you should construct your complaints.  "I don't like the story because of this specific reason and I don't know how I feel about it" is much better than "your story is awful" and "stories just keep getting worse and worse."

3. Don't demand updates.

Writers appreciate excitement.  "Please update soon" or "I can't wait until the next chapter" is just as good as "I'm really enjoying the story.  Nice work."  But every so often, all writers come across the review that says: "Update," usually right after they have just updated.

It probably took them a ton of time to write that 5K word chapter; weeks to months depending on life and work...or God forbid, illness.  We love reviews, but it's just rude to demand something you've just received, most of the time which we are doing for free.  If you'd like to request an update, just add a "please" to that.  It's only ONE extra word.  Thank you!

4. AUs don't mean the writer doesn't know the source material.

I've seen a lot of people get heat for AUs, which surprises me. I write a lot of AU stories, and I just recently received heat for my newest one. AU stands for “alternate universe,” and is an original story with elements from the source material.  Most of the time, there are many callbacks to the source material and a lot of world-building and character development to explain the changes.  They aren't written to be compared to the source material.  They're written for fun and to creatively mold characters we already know and love into something new.

5. If a writer changes something from the source material, it's because they like a challenge.

This isn't just for AU stories.  Sometimes even in canon stories, details can be changed.  It is fanfiction after all and, honestly, diverting from the source material isn't the worst thing.  Some writers do this to challenge themselves.  There's no need for anyone to tell them they don't know what they're doing.  This recently happened to a friend of mine, and that's why it's fresh on my mind.

6. OCs are not always awful. They can have side stories, too.

Another friend experienced this one, receiving a hateful review about focusing on an OC that most really like.  I'll admit, I'm not always a fan of OCs.  I’ve read many good and iffy OC stories.  Honestly, I've written many good and iffy OC stories.  They aren't for everyone, but that doesn’t make them any less valid. They can have backgrounds and  stories all their own, and a writer should not be berated because of it.  If you don't like it, just move on.

7. Stories about writers and the challenges they go through are not self-inserts.

Surprisingly, this was my most recent complaint with my current AU.  I was accused of writing a story all about what I “wish I could become.”  For some writers, including me, this is our hobby.  It's an outlet and very calming.  Sometimes when we characters who are writers in our stories, it's just to jokingly express the challenges we do face in writing.  No need to be nasty about it XD

8. Our stories are sometimes deeply personal.

Readers may not realize this, but writers put a little piece of their soul into each story they write.  Some may be self-inserts, but most are not.  Sometimes we use our own life experiences in the story, mainly because it's what we know, but also to offer support and help to someone who may be going through the same things.

So, before you plan to write a hateful remark or two, you may want to think about what the writer may have endured the reason the story exists - and don't get mad if we're projecting on your favorite character.  Trust me; the character development will be much better with patience.  You may even get insight on how to better deal with someone suffering from a particular issue (e.g. grief, depression, health issues).

9. If you don't like a story, give a reason why.

Normally, I say the oldie but goodie: if you don't like it then don't read it, but some people really can't keep their opinions to themselves.  That's fine.  We do have freedom of speech and everything is entitled to their opinion.  But, writers have a right to constructive feedback.  Saying "you suck, your story sucks, and I don't like it" isn't really constructive.

If you don't like a story, give us a reason.  If it moves too slow, the writer needs to know that so they can speed it up.  If there's a plot point you find disturbing, the author needs to know so they can put a warning somewhere in the story.  If you just don't like it, say there's something about it you don't like and that it's not your cup of tea; that's fine.  There's plenty of ways to let us know your opinion without being rude about it.

10 . Respond to all reviews if you can, but don't react to bad ones.

This is mainly for writers.  It's polite to respond to all reviews, even the one-word ones.  You can write a simple "thank you" to those ones.  I usually give back what I receive.  You can acknowledge guests in your chapters either individually, collectively, or simply thank everyone who read and reviewed.

That being said, if someone is being particularly aggressive or hurtful in a review, you can ignore them.  You may think it's rude, but as I said; give what you get.  If they're rude to you first, don't fire back. Leave it and let them wallow and wait.  They're undeserving of your time and mental health.  If it's just a negative response without insults or aggression, you can respond and say that you're sorry they feel that way, but you stand by your story and wish them well in finding another one.

11. Don't be arrogant.

Everyone has different styles.  Writers have different levels of vocabulary, different ideas.  Some stories may be better than others.  Be humble about it.  You can be proud of your work, but never use it as a way to lessen someone else's.

12. Don't cause drama.

It happens everywhere in life as it is.  A lot of us are looking for an escape from the drama in our lives.  We are trying to do our best and make connections with others who love the same couples, books, and stories we do.  We're not looking for more angst.  So before you start causing problems for another person, not just a writer but anyone, rethink it.  Some people may crave drama, but they can look for it elsewhere.

13. Be kind.

I can't believe I have to say this one, but it's necessary.  I've witnessed so many in the writing world being trashed and feeling awful.  Just be nice to each other!

Writing is supposed to be a fun way to express ourselves. It takes a lot of time, effort, and will.  The writing community is large with different personalities.  We may not all like what we read or get along with everyone.  This is life, not grade school, and we should treat each person the way we want to be treated.

If something about this post resonated with you then reblog it, and if you can think of any other topics I might have missed, add to it.  Let's spread proper etiquette around.  It's just common courtesy.  Thanks, everyone! ^^