#eyyyyy roomie

[tea-the-not-understanding]

I’m going to draw my headcannons for burning spice (he looks like capsaicin X10]

In a party specially for me and other three roomies that I live with

A goodbye party. Will be responding slow but eyyyyy do it!!!

[blake-belladonna-defence-force]

Grem, kiss your roomie’s forehead to check their temperature. Sounds like they may have a case of gremlin-fever.

-shitlord anon

(Do it.)

Eyyyyy! Roomie’s got that gremlin-fever!

Honestly? Totally something I would write, complete with a cheeky grin and an even cheekier “What? I was totally just checking your temperature.” 😂

[bittysvalentines]

Window Shopping for a Soulmate

From: @leahlisabeth

To: @creative-cabbage

Thanks for your prompts! I had a lot of fun creating your fic and I hope you enjoy it!

It was so cold that Bitty could see his breath.  “Why are we even out here?” he whined.

“Not my fault you haven’t figured out how to dress for the weather yet,” Lardo shot a pointed glance at his hatless head and gloveless hands.

“Well excuse me, I planned to spend this entire visit in your kitchen baking you enough pies to last a year or in a car on a way to a mall so all our shopping could be done indoors,” Bitty pouted.

“You’re such a baby,” Lardo rolled her eyes and turned to keep walking.  “Hurry up, the sooner we find a Valentine’s Day gift for Shitty we can go home and you can crawl back into the oven.”

“That’s the other thing, since when are you so into Valentine’s Day? I woulda thought it was too heteronormative for Shitty.” Bitty glanced over at the candy store they were walking by and shuddered at the overflowing display of red, hearts, and teddy bears.

“Nah bro, it might be totally commercial but any excuse to celebrate love and all that,” Lardo shoved his shoulder lightly.

“Oh, you’re actually calling it love now?” Bitty asked, eyebrows raised.  “I thought you were calling it a quasi-platonic partnership.

Lardo’s cheeks were already pink from the cold but they brightened almost imperceptibly,  She said nothing but shrugged and kept walking.

Bitty followed her down the sidewalk but stopped as something on display in the next window grabbed his attention.  It was probably the first male mannequin he had ever seen in a lingerie store window.  It was wearing a sheer black lace robe and a pair of black lace shorts similar in cut to his regular summer wear, if his regular summer wear left his entire ass exposed, that is.  “Hey Lardo, don’t you think I’d look sexy in this?” he said, turning to his friend...his absent friend...his absent friend who had somehow been replaced by a god of a man who was incredibly underdressed for the weather, had the bluest eyes Bitty had ever seen, and who was looking at him like he’d never seen a fellow human being before.

“I’m not Lardo,” the man said and Bitty understood why he was looking at him that way when a rush of heat flooded his left thigh and he would have known what it meant anywhere, even without the confirmation of the words he’d just heard.

“Did you just…?” Bitty started.

“Are you…?” The man interrupted him.  They both fell back into silence, staring into each other’s eyes.  The man stepped closer and Bitty, even though he was sure he knew what was happening, couldn’t help flinching back a little at having someone so large in his admittedly roomy personal bubble.

“I’m sorry,” the man stepped back again, unbuttoning the top few buttons of his flannel.  He pulled down the neck of his t-shirt to expose a line of black script across his left pec.  Bitty couldn’t help stepping closer to read it.

And sure enough, there it was: “Hey Lardo, don’t you think I’d look sexy in this?”

Bitty laughed, “Lord, what a thing to say to someone on their first meeting.  I cannot believe.”

“Euh, do you?” The man gestured to Bitty.

“Plain as day on my thigh, sweetpea, but I am not disrobing in the middle of the street like we’re in some tropical vacation spot.  It is way too cold out here for that,” Bitty chattered, a little nervously.

“It’s barely below freezing,” the man said, amusement creeping into his voice.

“Yeah, it’s below freezing, the point where things like Bitty’s freeze,” Bitty scowled.

“What’s a Bitty?” the man asked.

“Oh uh, I’m a Bitty, well I’m an Eric...Bittle,” Bitty could feel his face heating as he rambled.

“Oh, well it’s nice to meet you, Bitty Eric Bittle,” the man grinned widely and Bitty could feel his heart pooling somewhere at his feet.

“Bitty, what’s up?” Lardo startled them out of the intense staring contest that was developing between them as she stepped in front of Bitty.  “Is this guy bothering you?”

“What no, Lardo, this is my soulmate,” Bitty said.

“Eyyyyy,” Lardo stuck out her hand.  “So you’re the man who isn’t Lardo.”

“Um...yeah.  It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, since your name has been on my chest my entire life,” the man blushed.

“Dude, really? Can I see?” Lardo asked.

The man blushed deeper but pulled the neck of his shirt down once more.

“Bits, that’s so embarrassing! What were you…?” She looked around before catching sight of the same outfit that had caught Bitty’s eye before.  “Dude, yes.  You would look amazing, you have to buy it.  I’m sure your soulmate will love it.”

Bitty thought he was going to combust and melt right through the sidewalk.  Thinking about it in theory had been one thing, but to think about it now, in front of a man he was most likely going to enter into some sort of relationship with, well it was a bit much.

He looked over at the other man and took comfort in the fact that at least the other man looked just as uncomfortable as he did.

“So, I didn’t catch your name,” Lardo continued.

Bitty facepalmed as he realized he had completely forgotten to ask.

“Oh, my name is Jack, Jack Zimmermann?” Jack fiddled with his beanie.

“Wait, the NHL player? Seriously?” Bitty asked.

“Haha, yeah, I guess so,” Jack laughed and shifted his feet, looking at the ground.  “I thought maybe you recognized me?”

“No, I’m sorry.  Like I play, but I’m not really into following any teams,” Bitty said.

“You play?” Jack’s eyes lit up.  

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Lardo said. “I’m gonna go keep looking for a Valentine’s gift for Shitty and I’ll text him to come and pick me up and we’ll go out for dinner and Bitty can take you to our home and cook you a nice dinner so you can get to know each other.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Jack protested.  “I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“Trust me, Bitty here is absolutely itching to cook you a delicious meal and you have not lived until you’ve tried his pie,” Lardo winked.

“Is that okay?” Jack asked.

Bitty nodded and shyly reached for Jack’s hand.  Jack took it and Bitty instantly felt warmer.  He led the way to his car, suddenly really excited to see where life would take him next.