#externally I'm not even looking that different. which.. I've been getting mistaken for a girl for years now. so maybe I'm arrived externally
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#I think I have all the paperwork stuff sorted for the name change process. I just have to get up the motivation to go down to the courthouse#honestly I've been more motivated to get things done than normal because I've got a goal. a direction. and I really want self actualization#tag talk#like. now that I feel like I've got a chance and the opportunity to change how things are to finally match myself.#things feel very much on track now. it'll be a pain and I've gotta go to like three separate government offices so that's gonna suck#but I care. I want this. and I'm going to make it happen.#honestly I don't think I'm ever gonna change my sex marker. I like being a guy. just.. I need to be he/him in a transgender way#anyway. things are going. health insurance is in the works. and I'm gonna throw a fit until they pay for my hrt#I keep wanting to make the joke that if they don't accept me to gender school I'll just threaten to attempt again but perhaps I shouldn't#that's not really a joke I can make in front of any health professionals. but like. that's the reality for me honestly.#I need this to happen for me to live. that's my strong motivation. the court clerk paperwork filling will suck but I have to do this to live#but I've been living! I've been exploring. and I've been anticipating finally becoming myself#externally I'm not even looking that different. which.. I've been getting mistaken for a girl for years now. so maybe I'm arrived externally#but there's still a lot of internal work to be done before I'm me fully.#the name is really the last publicly visible thing. I've got my appearance down when I'm wearing a shirt.#the rest will be eventual hrt and surgery shit. hrt for sure cause I wanna still look like me even when I'm not wearing a shirt or bra#anyway. wheels of progress. I'm slowly crossing things off my trans agenda
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