#excitement. i have the panel pin on my jacket. i saw the cast. it's so.. AHSJAHSKAHSJWHBS

[silverselfshippingchaos]

i am SO unwell about f.f16

[elch-im-ausland]

Sunday Feb. 18 2024

I woke up a bit late but that's okay cuz it's Sunday! And nothing happens on Sundays in Germany... except for the Flohmarkt at the Mauerpark in Berlin. I took the tram just a couple stops away from where I'm staying and arrived at the market. Then I got a dirty chai latte and a currywurst for breakfast (very tasty with hot sauce and different kinds of mayo it was D-Lux!) and I walked around for a few hours.

There were lots of vendors selling coats and I wish I didn't live so far away because I have been dying to have a long fur-lined coat (of which there were many) but I really don't have any space so I ended up buying a leather bomber-style jacket to replace my really ratty denim coat I wear all the time.

As much as I love love love my denim coat and I've had it for a few years it's not very warm and the cuffs are so stringy and it's just not the best coat so I'm going to remove my patches and pins and leave it in Germany where it can have a new life hopefully and I will try not to think about how inanimate objects have feelings and how sad my coat will be that I am leaving it behind.

But I'm excited about the leather jacket. I think it will mark a new chapter in my life and although I am a bit saddened by the fact that leather is not really a pin-friendly material I have so many (some (my mother) might say too many) other jackets to redistribute my pins and patches onto, and I will continue the hunt for the long fur-trimmed coat of my dreams.

Back at the flea market I also bought a silver ring with a face on it for 6 euro, a record of Nena's Irgendwie, Irgendwo, Irgendwann 12" dance mix for 10 euro, and a button down t shirt for 2 euro. Then I got a cup of Sahlab and another currywurst and went home because I had to pee and there were no public restrooms.

I met one of my host's roommates, he was really friendly and somehow spoke the exact German that I understand like he didn't use big words idk it felt like talking to a german teacher who understands your level of german. So that was nice.

That night I went to the Berlin Independent Film Festival (not to be confused with the Berlin International Film Festival aka the Berlinale, however I recently bought tickets to 2 films that are being shown at the Berlinale so yay! but it's really annoying that they both take place at the same time and have similar names cuz I keep getting them mixed up).

The movie I saw was Lichtenberg by Carl Bessai. It was at the Babylon Theater and it was very good! It is about 5 different time periods during the last century in an apartment building in the Berlin neighborhood Lichtenberg. The eras where 1920s, 1940s, 1980s, 1990s and 2010s. The cast was small and they played different characters in each time period. And then at the end of the movie there was a short Q&A panel at the front of the theater with the cast and director which was a bit awkward since I had a front-row seat so everyone was standing like 4 feet away from me eep! Apparently the director (who is from Canada) wrote the script and then the cast (all German) decided that it was a bit dry so they improvised every scene so it felt more organic and personal so it was a bit like a stage play in that respect. It's not on Letterboxd yet so I haven't been able to add it to my list rip

Then I came home and went to bed because I was sleepy.

[chocolatequeennk]

To Bring Them Home, 5/6

Losing Rose only a month after they bonded hurt more than the Doctor could have imagined. Then he discovered he’d lost more than he’d realised, and he was determined to bring them home–Rose and their unborn baby. But how could he do that, without two universes collapsing?

Ten x Rose, pregnancy fic

The Tenth Doctor gets through the Void with help from the Ninth Doctor, and the family is reunited at last

This story is part of The Course of True Love, following With This Ring.

This was written for the Doomsday prompts on @doctorroseprompts​, and the "helping hand” prompt on @legendslikestardust​

Betaed by @lastbluetardis​ and @pellaaearien​

AO3 | FF.NET | TSP | Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4

The Doctor’s hands were shaking with excitement as he knotted his tie. As soon as the possibility of seeking help from his past self had occurred to him, timelines had shifted. There were still variables, nothing was set in stone… but that decision had opened up the possibility of bringing Rose home.

He peered in the mirror and fixed his hair so it would stick up just like Rose liked it. If this worked, he would see her again before the day was over. Once he was satisfied with the overall effect, he shrugged into his brown suit jacket, only taking time to do one button before darting out of the room.

He laughed as he spun in circles around the TARDIS console. Finding himself would actually be the simplest part of the whole day—he’d known exactly when to go as soon as the idea had struck him. Rose had spent a weekend at home for a cousin’s wedding, and he, grumpy git that he was, had resisted all her attempts to be her date for the weekend. Instead, he’d gone to Enesta, a planet with the perfect atmosphere for TARDIS maintenance.

The TARDIS flew faster and more smoothly than she’d done in years, and the Doctor laughed again. “We’re going to bring them home, old girl,” he crowed, stretching across the console and patting the time rotor. The lights flashed in response, and then they landed.

Inside a different TARDIS, a different Doctor’s ears pricked. The sound was muffled, coming through the closed doors, but he would have sworn…

The TARDIS doors swung open, and a pretty boy in pinstripes and the coat Janis Joplin had given him burst into the ship. He immediately raced for the console and started spinning around, adjusting the controls without even saying hello.

“Oi!” the Doctor said. “My TARDIS, if you don’t mind—have you lost your manners as well your fashion sense?”

The other man didn’t pause, but he did look up at him, and the Doctor took a step back when he saw the barely contained grief in his brown eyes. “Rude and not ginger,” he said, his lips twisted in a miserable half smile.

The TARDIS chimed, and the other Doctor sighed and pulled his hands away from the console. “Right, we don’t have time for the usual insults about wardrobe and who’s more clever. I need your help to rescue Rose.”

Every snarky comment the Doctor had prepared evaporated in an instant. “What happened?” he barked.  

The older Doctor leaned heavily on the console. “She’s gone. Trapped in a parallel universe.” His shoulders heaved as he took a shuddering breath. “Pregnant with our child.”

The Doctor shoved his shock aside. His older self was right—they didn’t have time for bickering and debating. Telepathic contact was vital for a developing Gallifreyan mind. Without it, the foetus’ telepathy would turn inward, leaving them handicapped for the rest of their life.

Even if Rose had somehow been able to share the bond he could now sense in the other Doctor’s mind, she was still human. There was no way she could offer their baby the support their growing mind needed.

“Right,” he said, shoving the other Doctor away from the console. “I’ll take care of things here. You get back into your TARDIS and get ready to go through the Void as soon as the wormhole opens.”

The older Doctor smiled, and some of the tension around his eyes eased. “I’ve already set the exit vector for the correct parallel universe,” he said, pointing to the navigation panel.

“Good. Now get out of here, and bring them home.”  

oOoOoOoOo

For once, Rose woke up without her alarm clock, and with a smile on her face. She tried to remember her dream, to figure out why she was so happy today, but she couldn’t pin the feeling down to anything more than a general sense that something good was going to happen today.

In the car on the way to Torchwood, the baby started turning somersaults. Rose leaned against the back seat as the driver took them into London, and rested a hand on her six-months-pregnant belly.

Immediately, the baby’s mind clamoured against her own, and suddenly Rose was buzzing with anticipation. Something was coming. She could feel it as strongly as she had at Canary Wharf before she’d been trapped here, only this time, the feeling was light and happy instead of heavy and foreboding.

Rose frowned; the Doctor had told her she was picking up on his own time senses, but he was still on the other side of the Void. She didn’t know much about Gallifreyan gestation, but she doubted the baby’s senses had developed enough to detect changes in the timelines.

Which meant the time senses were her own. “I see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be.” She nodded and let out a slow breath. If Bad Wolf had changed her enough to give her time senses, it would also explain how she’d gotten pregnant when the Doctor told her it would be impossible.

Rose didn’t know how to read timelines, but in her mind, a major positive shift in her future could mean only one thing: the Doctor was coming. She tried not to get her hopes up, but by midmorning, the feeling was too strong to ignore. She cancelled the rest of her meetings for the day, then went through all her active files and marked them with potential replacements. Her desk was clear by lunch, and after a quick call to Pete, she left Torchwood for what she hoped would be the last time.

oOoOoOoOo

Back in his own TARDIS, the Doctor turned the scanner on so he would know the moment his past self opened the wormhole to Pete’s World. While he waited, he cleaned the console, knowing that a speck of dust in the wrong place could throw their landing off by a few thousand miles, or a few years. He shuddered at the possibility of arriving late; it was bad enough that he’d missed the first few months of Rose’s pregnancy.

All the fears he’d managed to set aside for the day crept back into his mind. Inter-species pregnancies could be dangerous, and there was absolutely no data on a human-Time Lord pregnancy. Rose or their baby could be severely at risk, and he hadn’t been there to help.

And what about external risks? What if Torchwood discovered she was carrying an alien baby? Torchwood in this universe had followed the motto, “If it’s alien, it’s ours.” What about the Pete’s World Torchwood?

An alert on the console flashed before he could work himself up any further. The Doctor’s gaze swung to the monitor, which now showed an open wormhole through the Void. Despite all his concerns, he grinned and reached for the controls.

To his surprise, the time rotor started moving on its own. After blinking a few times, the Doctor laughed and grabbed onto the railing as his ship flew them into a parallel universe—one that contained his whole universe.

The engine whirred unhappily at the strain of trans-dimensional travel, and the grinding noises made the Doctor wince and look worriedly at the console. But the ship seemed to be holding together better than she had the first time they’d gone through the Void, so he held on tighter and let her fly.

Finally, they landed with a bone-rattling thunk. The Doctor took a few deep breaths, then ran down the ramp and threw the door open.

As soon as he stepped out into the cool evening air, the pain in the Doctor’s mind eased. Rose was here—Rose, and a tiny, still developing consciousness that he recognised immediately as the baby.

Weak-kneed, he leaned back against the TARDIS and stared at the large mansion he’d parked close to. He’d made it—they were here.

Before he was able to move, a door open, casting a pale yellow square of light onto the garden. “Doctor!”

He knew that voice, knew it better than any other voice in the universe. A sob caught in his throat, then he pushed off the TARDIS and ran towards Rose. He could hear his hearts pounding in his ears as he pumped his arms, eager to hold her again.

But even in his desperation, he remembered to be careful of the baby. He slowed down as he reached her and caught Rose with his hands on her hips to avoid slamming into her pregnant belly.

“Rose, oh Rose you’re here,” he whimpered as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

Rose tilted her head back, and he didn’t hesitate for an instant, bending down to press his lips to hers. The kiss tasted salty, but couldn’t tell if it was because of his tears or hers.

After a moment, he moved one hand up to her temple to fully restore their broken bond. Rose sighed against his lips when the pain of the last few months was washed away in the euphoria of their reunion.

I know, love. I know, the Doctor told her as he trailed his lips along her jawline. I’ve missed you so much.

Rose turned her head, and the Doctor gladly moved back to her lips, relearning her taste after four months apart. She slid her hands over his shoulders when he took her bottom lip between his own, alternating between suckling it gently and scraping his teeth over it.

Her hands carded through his hair, and he groaned when he felt her nails dig into the nape of his neck. God, Doctor, she said when he pulled her closer. Kissing you is even better than I remembered.

A third telepathic presence worked its way into their mental embrace, and the Doctor pulled out of the kiss with a gasp. The baby was begging for attention, and he immediately dropped to his knees in front of Rose and pressed his temple to her belly.

I’m here, little one, he said, beckoning for his child to come to him. I’ve missed so much, but I promise I’m here now, and we’re never going to be separated again.

Rose ran her hands through his hair. You came for us, she said, and he could feel her surprise. You said it was impossible, but you came anyway.

The Doctor pressed a kiss to her belly. Of course I came for you. I wanted to rip the universes apart as soon as I realised you were pregnant.

He pulled the baby’s mind closer to his, then reached for Rose over the bond and brought her into the embrace. We made this, Rose, he told her, overwhelmed by the moment. Timelines spun around them, and he caught glimpses of the new life they would live together—them and their children, travelling together through space and time.

Time expanded around Rose as she shared the first telepathic embrace with both the Doctor and the baby. They had so much to look forward to—more than the Doctor even realised.

She reached for him mentally and redirected his focus to the golden strand that wound all throughout their life. Doctor, look at this. She touched it, and they both sucked in a breath when the raw power of time surged through them.

Rose quickly pulled back from the golden strand, then looked down into the Doctor’s awestruck eyes. “I promised you forever,” she said quietly. “And that’s what we’re going to have.”

The baby kicked, and the tiny mind sparkled with happiness. The Doctor laughed and pressed one more kiss to Rose’s pregnant belly before jumping to his feet.

Rose could feel his eager desire to sweep her up and carry her into the TARDIS, and she shook her head. “Come on,” she told him, taking him by the hand and encouraging him to walk with her. “Everyone is waiting to say goodbye.” He sighed, but laced their fingers together and walked beside her without a complaint.

They’d only taken a few steps when the door opened further and her family came out to meet them. Mickey had the suitcase she’d packed that afternoon, and he walked past her to put it down by the TARDIS.

Her mum rushed across the lawn to wrap her up in a hug, and tears prickled in Rose’s eyes as she realised this would probably be the last time she’d see her mother. “I’m sorry,” she murmured as they held each other. “I wish I could have both you and him, but…”

Jackie pulled back and shook her head. “No point hoping for the impossible.” She pointed a finger at the Doctor. “Although, if anything ever happens to make it possible, I expect you to bring her back for a visit.”

The Doctor nodded. “Of course, Jackie. We’ll monitor the walls between the worlds from our side, and I expect Torchwood will be keeping an eye on them from this side.”

Pete had been standing awkwardly in the background, his hands in his pockets as he witnessed the goodbyes. But at this, he stepped forward and put his arm around Jackie’s waist. “You can count on it, Doctor,” he promised. “We’ve seen first hand how a breach in the Void can affect a world, so we’ll keep a close eye on things.”

“Yeah, that’ll be my job,” Mickey cut in. “I’ve already got your files on the dimension cannon project, Rose.”

Rose smiled and gave him a hug. “I wouldn’t trust it to anyone else.”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “I hate to cut things short, but unfortunately, the wormhole I came through won’t stay open forever. Rose and I need to get back to our universe.”

The TARDIS’ hum changed pitch, confirming the Doctor’s words. Rose looked over her shoulder at the ship, then back at her family. “I love you—never forget that.”

Then she took a deep breath and reached for the Doctor’s hand. “Let’s go home.”