#except she'll sic one of her underlings on you instead of beating your ass herself 🤣

[thebramblewood]

Close encounters of the vampiric kind.

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My deepest gratitude to @simsdaughters for making me such a horrible old bitch (affectionate) and helping me workshop insults! Additional thanks to @asimplevampire and @crvptydgaming for Jude and Eurydamos.

Lilith: You’ll love this place. It’s upscale. Exclusive. Everyone there is either already a vampire, wants to become one, or wants to fuck one.

Elizabetha: Yoohoo! Lilith!

Lilith: [groans] Oh, God.

Helena: Holy shit, is that-

Lilith: [to Helena] Ignore her.

Elizabetha: Lilith, darling, I can tell when I’m being avoided. [narrows eyes] What on earth are you wearing? These hideous scraps of fabric modern humans call fashion leave nothing to the imagination!

Lilith: That’s the point, Elizabetha, and it proves particularly effective while on the prowl.

Elizabetha: Refined ladies do not prowl. They have servants fetch their meals for them.

Lilith: A pity you couldn’t find anyone to clean you up after. The quality of service is appalling.

Elizabetha: Oh, you have a shadow! Dressed in only slightly less scandalous rags! How charming! [to Helena] What’s your name, dearie?

Helena: I, uh-

Lilith: Leave her alone! And while you’re at it, why don’t you run off and let those mothballs you call friends know she’s strictly off-limits?

Elizabetha: [shouting] I find it hard to believe your brother permits you to parade yourself around like a common tramp.

Lilith: I don’t need my brother’s permission to do anything, you antiquated hag!

-

Helena: Uh… Lilith?

Lilith: [impatiently] What now?

Helena: My memory may be failing me, but I swear I once took a comparative literature class with that man.

Lilith: Ah, yes, Professor Jude Wilwright. The bane of UBrite’s existence, having yet to produce a manuscript of his closely guarded yet allegedly revelatory thesis on William Shakespeare’s true identity.

Helena: [incredulously] Another vampire. Right under my nose this whole time. Of course, I only ever saw him once or twice. His TAs ran everything.

Lilith: That brat beside him is Eurydamos. Wilwright’s attempting a biography of his Ancient Tartosan adolescence, without much progress, it appears. But what else could he expect from a surly immortal teenager? No more gawking, Helena. We’ve got better places to be.