#example for this particular trait that i think got to really reflect in a natural way was t.ezca's status as god of conflicts

[darabeatha]

/ My dream is to actually get to write Tezcatlipoca here :nods:

[tomorrow-and-tomorrows]

Narrative perspective and how cursed techniques become worlds: Gojou Satoru

In a key moment when theorizing about the nature of soul and body, the Brain speculates that “techniques dictate our worlds”. One of the other ways in which technique = world becomes literalized is through the narrative perspective from which we see characters.

Perspective, or point of view, determines our angle of vision through which to perceive character and story. It shapes representation and determines both how and what we are allowed to see.

Gojou

Gojou’s default technique is Limitless, which brings forth the distance that makes it impossible for objects in the world to reach him; neutral Limitless puts an uncrossable distance between himself and the world.

In the one-year timeskip after Riko Amanai’s death, it’s precisely as he’s learning to have his Limitless activated at all times that he and Geto become unable to reach each other. As Gojou’s power increases to sustain this invisible space, an uncrossable distance opens up between the person who was closest to him.

But I think there’s an additional distance that opens up as Gojou’s technique strengthens: The narrative distance preventing access to Gojou’s direct perspective and interiority after the Hidden Inventory Arc.

In contrast to how we were plunged into Geto’s intense introspection, there is nothing of Gojou’s internal thoughts from the immensely important turning point of the Premature Death chapters to ch.79 when he approaches Megumi. During these chapters, his Limitless technique defines his “world” both within the story (physically and interpersonally/emotionally), and on this meta-level of narration.

From then on, Geto and the readers can only observe Gojou from the outside: his inner mind becomes inaccessible and unreachable. So much so that, as readers, we might feel the absence distinctly as if part of the story after the Hidden Inventory arc and during Premature Death arc is altogether missing or incomplete.

In order to understand his words and expressions here, we are required to interpret, to try to bridge that impenetrable space that never lets us get any closer to Gojou. These two moments in particular illustrate this narrative distance, again as the most defining moments of his life, yet we are left looking on from the outside, ever held at a distance from his actual mind.

These two moments are the most defining moments of his life - dealing with losing Geto, and the first step he takes to dedicating his life to raising young allies through education. These moments are angled very similarly; our angle of vision is to look at Gojou, not through Gojou’s perspective.

We get physically close to Gojou’s eyes as possible, but that is the limit: there is a silence, an uncrossable space between us and his interiority. We never get so close as to access his inner thoughts when it is most important. It feels almost impersonal, alienating as readers to not be privy to these turning points in his worldview.

And it’s not just the case in these two singular moments, but the entire situation after the Hidden Inventory arc. How did Gojou emotionally process Riko’s death? What was on his mind during the time he was sent on solo missions no longer accompanied by Geto? How did he feel about Haibara’s death? How much of Geto’s psychological state was he really aware of? How did his reflections on Toji’s last words lead to him reaching out to Megumi?

It’s also the narrative method after he kills Geto in the prequel: we are shut out from his private emotions, only able to see what he chooses to reveal to the external world - nothing more than an inscrutable smile and a brief expression of affection for the person he had just killed. Does he feel guilt? Acceptance? What were his emotions in the moments after Geto’s death? We are denied access to these answers.

Similarly, many of those above questions about the post-Inventory arc situation will never be definitively answered in the way of internal monologue. However, many of them are implicitly answered, just not in a conventional, straightforward way. Rather than understanding him by being able to access his interiority, we are required to construct an understanding of him based on his external actions.

“Narrative says less than it knows, but it often makes known more than it says.” - Gérard Genette, Narrative Discourse

His response to failing to save Riko, to killing Toji, to Geto leaving, and so on -- we see how nearly all his subsequent actions are haunted by and in response to all these events. We don’t get internal monologue recounting what he feels, but we can try to discern how he feels in everything that he does, every decision that he makes throughout the rest of the story. Becoming an educator, finding meaning through raising allies to connect with, saving Megumi from the Zen’in clan, saving Yuta and Yuji from execution, endorsing Maki’s ambition to transform the Zen’in family, seeking change through education rather than violence, shouldering the balance of the both the jujutsu and human world--

In all of these decisions, we get as close to answer as possible of what he feels in response to the personal catastrophes of his youth that he had silently endured: above all, a deep sense of responsibility and a profound internalization of the experiences and painful lessons that come to define his entire life.

It is also no coincidence that, in Shibuya Arc, it is at the same moment the Prison Realm is able to physically overcome the distance of his Limitless technique, that this narrative distance established in chapters 76-79 is crossed for the first time in a meaningful way.

Throughout his fight with Jogo and Hanamai, we do get a some of his internal thoughts, but it’s for the practical purpose of knowing what his strategical deductions are; they tell us nothing substantial about his emotions, hence not what I consider a ‘meaningful’ overcoming of distance.

But as his Limitless utterly fails to prevent the Prison Realm from seizing him, suddenly that object in the world is able to reach him, and the narrative is simultaneously able to ‘reach’ his mind to a greater extent than before. Whilst he had previously successfully shut everything out, now he is suddenly permeable both in body and mind.

More precisely, what I’ve been calling this ‘narrative distance’ is crossed immediately before the physical distance is eliminated. The emotional distance is actually breached before the physical, but ultimately these two results are inseparable from each other.

Finally, we begin to understand directly, through just a momentary glimpse into his interiority, how strongly he feels the loss of his best friend, how present and alive those years of his youth are constantly in his mind. Seeing Suguru’s face after being emotionally and physically drained by his fight is what exposes his vulnerability, a weakness of the heart that we wouldn’t even be sure was still there until this moment.

It’s the delayed emotional insight into Gojou that makes it all the more poignant; we’re well past his Past arc, but it’s only now that we become privy to how heavily those events weigh on his mind. On a first reading, it would require us to slightly re-write what we would’ve understood of Gojou solely based on the previously distant, impersonal feeling we got from those past chapters.

The final major implication of what I’ve been suggesting is how, in light of all this, how to think about the effect of the last real substantial access to his inner thoughts/emotions.

The last meaningful unmediated access we get to Gojou’s inner thoughts/emotions during his Past Arc is this moment when he renounces human emotion and apologizes to Riko for feeling like he’s no longer fighting for her sake.

Even though this is a powerful, lasting impression of his inner mind for readers, it is not the case that this moment of egoism, self-centredness, and renunciation of compassion is completely who Gojou Satoru remains even as an adult. Gojou definitely retains some of those traits in his personality - I don’t want to overlook the extent of his individualistic mentality, self-involvement, and difficulty emotionally considering others. However, his actions in the aftermath of this spiritual transcendence demonstrate that this moment and those characteristics do not define his entire person at the expense of all others.

Again: the narrative distance that deliberately denies readers access to his inner mind after the Hidden Inventory Arc requires us to evaluate his character based on his subsequent actions that demonstrate his movement away from this emotionless, compassionless state, towards motivations that are highly emotionally driven.

Although this renunciation of human emotion and obligation towards Riko is the last substantial thought we receive from Gojou’s direct point of view, his character has not remained static since that temporary moment. On the contrary, he develops drastically from that, though we witness this change from the outside: the Gojou Satoru we see after the one-year timeskip and ten years later in the present day is a largely different Gojou Satoru than the one who feels no anger on behalf of a child he’d failed to protect - and the only way we can understand this when his mind is largely closed off to us is through looking at his external actions.

For example, in stark juxtaposition to his apology to Riko for not feeling anger or vengefulness, not only does Gojou immediately after think of killing the cult members to avenge her death, a large part of his philosophy as a teacher is founded on anger on behalf of children whose youth are threatened to be cut short. We get this primarily through external speech and action.

We do not experience his anger, realization of the value of working together with allies rather than exclusively as an individual, or decision to save children like Yuta and Yuji through a step-by-step psychological progression: we only see the end results of all that development that certainly occurs, but is hidden from us.

For such a major character, I find this a fascinating method that might run contrary to our expectations of how to portray and understand character development. It requires a greater degree of interpretation about the internal thought and emotional processes that, though not brought to the surface of the narrative, are at the foundation of his external actions, speech, and expressions throughout the story.

“Narrative 'representation', or, more exactly, narrative information, has its degrees: the narrative can furnish the reader with more or fewer details, and in a more or less direct way, and can thus seem to keep a greater or lesser distance from what it tells." - Gérard Genette

[hood-ex]

Can you give any pointers for fanfiction writing? It's something I've considered trying, but I've never done creative writing and it's a bit intimidating. I'm mostly interested in writing Nightwing, and maybe having other characters (Batfam and Titans) but still always having Dick as the center.

Welcome to Fanfiction 101! I’m here to keep you from making the same mistakes I’ve made in the past. 

Pre-Writing Process

There are some people who enjoy outlining the shit out of their story, and then there are people like me who just kinda make the story up as they go. Whatever you decide to do, try to at least have an ending planned out. That way while you’re writing, you can start to craft the pieces you need to get to the ending you have imagined. You can even work backward and plan your story out from end to beginning. 

For example, let’s say I want my ending to be Dick and Damian hugging in a hospital. Okay, what pieces do I need to get to that point? Well, if they’re in a hospital then one of them needs to be hurt. Who do I want to hurt? Let’s go with Dick because I want this story to show how much Damian cares about Dick.

Great. Now how does Damian find out that Dick is hurt/how does he save Dick? Let’s say Damian is in the cave when the batcomputer gets an alert from Nightwing’s suit. The alert shows that Dick’s vitals have gone haywire. Damian panics, tracks down Dick’s location, and then both him and Alfie take the flying batmobile to save Dick. They find Dick and take him to the hospital. 

Cool but how does Dick get hurt in the first place? Hmm, well, Dick usually always rides a motorcycle, right? So let’s say Dick gets into a motorcycle accident. How does he crash his bike? Maybe it’s because of the weather or because a baddie crashes into him. I don’t want to write a huge action scene so let’s say Dick accidentally drives over black ice, spins out, and crashes in a ditch. 

And there you have it. A whole story right there from end to beginning. You can plan things out in a more detailed way before you jump in and write if you want. A basic outline like that ^ is usually enough for me to go off of. The details just come to me while I’m in the process of writing. Try and see what works best for you. 

One-Shots vs. Multi-Chapter Stories 

If you haven’t done a lot of creative writing, I would suggest you start off by practicing with one-shots. Now, one-shots can be shorter content, but on the flip side, there’s also one-shots that are like 50k words. Totally depends on what the author is willing to put into it in terms of plot, description, character development, etc. 

I personally have a hard time finding the motivation to finish multi-chapter stories, which is why I usually stick to one-shots. Short one-shots can be easier because they don’t have to be super fleshed out. The action is quick, the dialogue is impactful, and the scene is memorable. 

You can also just jump into the action when it comes to one-shots. You don’t have to do as much build-up. For example, I could jump right into a scene of Dick having trouble breathing like this: 

Dick’s having a hard time making sense of things. Vaguely, he can hear Bruce shouting for Alfred. He can feel hands on him. His vision is going in and out. Then, suddenly, there’s silence. Dick wakes up, confused. Tim is sitting at his bedside, holding his hand. Bruce is close by, and when he realizes Dick is awake, he immediately goes over to him. Bruce explains that Dick had a bad reaction to a drug he was injected with. Bruce cards his hand through Dick’s hair to comfort him, and Dick reflects on when Bruce used to do the same thing when Dick was a kid. 

End scene. 

Okay, so, obviously a real story would have way more description than that, but you get what I’m saying, yeah? That whole scene could be the entire story and it would be enough. But if you have the motivation to do way more than that with a ton of character development and what not, you totally could prolong that one-shot into 50k words. Or just break everything up into a multi-chapter fic. 

The problem with writing one chapter at a time for a multi-chapter fic is that it’s hard to keep the motivation to keep writing each chapter. You write one chapter and then put the story to the side for a few days, and suddenly, you keep making excuses about why you don’t want to write the next chapter. To be fair, this can also happen with a basic one-shot, but yeah, tis the life of a writer. Don’t be discouraged if it happens to you. Trust me, it will at some point. 

Character POV

Listen, I love writing in first person. In other fandoms, I used to write a lot of my stories in first person POV. I’ve got some bad news for you, though. Generally, people don’t like to read fanfics that are in first person POV. They just don’t. Nowadays, even I tend to skip over stories that are written in first person POV. 

Third person POV is going to be your best friend. Get comfortable writing it. 

Admittedly, sometimes it’s easier for me to grasp a character’s voice if I first write the story in first person POV. I then go back and change all the “I’s” and “me’s” to he, his, her, hers, etc. That’s just a little trick I do sometimes if I’m having a hard time getting a story started. 

Characterization

If you’re not 100% sure how to write a specific character, try and figure out a few facts about them. Like if you want to write Dick then think about some key qualities of his. Sprinkle those traits throughout the story to make the character sound more authentic. 

For example, I know Dick doesn’t like cucumber sandwiches. Sometimes I’ll have him or other characters mention this in the story. I also know Dick can struggle with perfectionism. I can make that something he has to struggle with in the story. It doesn’t have to be what the whole story revolves around, but if I just throw in some things here and there about how Dick is mad at himself for failing about something then that makes him feel more in character. 

Character Interactions

At first, writing multiple characters interacting at once can be really difficult. It can fuck up the pacing of your story, it can be hard to insert each character enough to make sure they aren’t ignored, and it can be hard to make sure each character is getting a chance to speak. 

If you find yourself struggling with this, try and just stick to two characters at first. Once you’re comfortable writing a conversation between them, try adding in another character. And another. And another. 

The more you practice, the more you’ll be able to write multiple characters interacting in a scene in a way that feels more natural and realistic. 

Genres and Tropes

When it comes to figuring out what you want to write about, you need to know what kind of content your audience wants. For example, fantasy niches (fairies, vampires, etc.) can be harder to “sell” in this particular fandom. There are people like myself who enjoy those niches, but just know that they may not be the most popular niches within this specific fandom. 

What are some niches that the majority of fandoms do like? Hurt/comfort, sick fics, whump, fluff. Those kinds of fics are always in demand. People love it when their favs get hurt. People love it when other characters worry about their favs. People love it when their favs get hurt while protecting others. People love it when their favs are getting along and being affectionate with one another. 

Go on AO3 and sort the fics in this fandom by “most comments” or “most kudos.” Now look at the most popular fics that come up and look at the tags they use. See what kinds of things those authors are writing about. Read their summaries and try to get an idea of what the stories are about. 

Once you get an idea of which kind of genres and tropes are most popular, try and write a story that includes those genres/tropes. People will be more likely to read stories that have tropes they usually like to read about. 

Now, of course, you can also just write whatever the hell you want without trying to appeal to your audience. This is what I do a lot of the time. Turns out that the things I like to write about tend to fall more in line with the tropes that are already popular in this fandom. 

Spelling and Grammar

People really hate to read stories that have tons and tons of spelling and grammar mistakes. Make sure before you post anything, you put your story in Word or Grammarly (I use the free version) to check for spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. Trust me, your readers will thank you for it.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I’ve been writing creative stories since I was 11 years old. The stories I wrote back then are absolutely shit compared to the stories I write now. So please don’t get discouraged if you write a story and you don’t feel like it’s very good. 

Keep trying! Just like with anything else, the more you do it, the better you’ll be at it. There are so many things you’ll learn as you continue to write. Seriously, just recently, I realized I wasn’t always putting a comma in my compound sentences to break up the independent clauses. But hey, hey, now I know. 

Pacing, characterization, and plot are also things that will improve the more you write. Writing drabbles (stories with maybe just a few hundred words) will help with this. It will help you learn to choose the most important scene or dialogue and write it in an impactful, emotional, and compelling way. 

Okay, class is dismissed! If you have any other questions then feel free to send me another ask! 

[goodshipsherlollipop]

Self-interview (but not really)

When I heard about @sherlollyappreciationweek hosting a self-interview event, I thought it would be fun to participate, so people could get to know me better as an author.  But, instead of doing a self-interview, I approached some of my readers and asked them to pose questions for me to answer.

I’m not aiming at making this about me personally.  It’s all about me as an author.  If you want to know about who I really am outside of my writing, feel free to chat with me privately.

The name of the person asking the questions will precede each section. As this interview is rather long, I will do it in two parts.

MossRose10

Q: What personal experiences or skills (in broad strokes), besides your faith, have influenced what you write about for your characters?

A: I know I see Molly differently than most people, in a more wholesome way.  When I look at her character on the show, she doesn't seem the type to have a long sexual history, but instead, seems to be someone who has devoted her life to becoming the best pathologist she can be.  I adore her character, and to be honest, I put a lot of my own traits into her - including her love of singing and faith.  My post TFP Sherlock has had his true nature restored by the events of Sherrinford.  Thus, he is emotionally stable and able to love Molly deeply. I can write him that way because I happen to have a romantic, loving husband (lucky me!). A lot of times in my married stories, I draw on experiences I've had that I have fictionalized for the characters.  I usually refer to these in author’s notes.  I also love writing about their children, and put a lot of thought and personal experience into writing for them from watching my own daughters grow.

As for the other characters, I just write them the way I feel reflects their personalities best from what I’ve observed in the show, working on fleshing out their characters more as I’ve continued 3 years worth of storyline beyond TFP. For example, my version of Mycroft has mellowed a lot and married Lady Smallwodd, and John has also become a Christian and is remarried with a son.

Q: What kinds of characters do you find most challenging to write, and what strategies do you use to write them?

A: I don’t think I necessarily have a lot of issues in writing the canon characters because I have watched the show so many times I feel I know them personally.  Probably the most challenging thing is writing for OC’s or peripheral characters I may have brought into a story that we haven't seen a lot of (like Billy Wiggins or Philip Anderson).  I must admit, I have written very little about Moriarty, because most of my stories take place after his death.

dmollyc

Q: What character is hardest to write?

A:  I kind of  addressed this one in the above answer, but I do think I'd find it difficult to write for Moriarty because I'm not sure how well I could get into the psyche of a deranged madman!

Q: Do you get any nasty reviews?

A: Thankfully, not many. Most of the negative ones are people reacting to a story out of context.  They will read a story in the middle of my chronological timeline and then complain that the characters are OOC.  When I write my continuing stories, I assume that people are familiar with the characters as I’ve written them already, so this can cause confusion.

Because of the Christian themes, I have lost readers who object to the theology I present through my characters. Obviously, I will not please everybody.

But generally speaking, people are very kind about my work when they review it, and I especially love the reviewers who immerse themselves into my world of Sherlock and Molly and embrace my post-TFP version of them.

Q: What do you like best about your stories?

A: Probably what I like best is that I've found a unique niche in the fandom in creating a whole Christian theme, and writing a lot of different stories with the same theme.  I've not seen anyone else doing that (although I'd love to see it done by others).

I enjoy writing my own continuing post-TFP happy ending for Sherlock and Molly, expanding their universe and that of the other characters from Sherlock as well.

Also, I enjoy showing Molly as someone with a belief in saving herself for marriage.  It's not going to be a popular idea for the general population, but I know many Christians can relate to that desire to keep sex for that special someone rather than experimenting with every boyfriend they date.  

I also think I do a pretty good job in writing love scenes that are steamy, but still clean, although I’m aware that some readers are more sensitive who find them too steamy.  I write using my own inner guide for how far to take things in the bedroom.  Some stories are definitely steamier than others, but there are certain graphic terms I will never use in my writing because I feel they cross the line of my own comfort zone.

Chelseamh98

Q: How have you overcome the challenges of your vision impairment?

A: This is definitely an ongoing process for me.  When I began writing, my proofreading would just consist of looking over the chapter a couple times to try to errors. I have issues when typing on my iPad because of the flat keyboard surface.  That means I often type a word incorrectly.  To help compensate for that, I have hundreds of words in my “text replacement” section, so that certain words I often mis-type automatically correct to the right word.  I have a bad tendency to hit the M instead of N or vice versa, for example.  A few months after I began publishing, someone suggested I use a text-to-speech app to help me identify incorrectly spelled words.  That did help.  I copy a chapter into the text-to-speech app and watch my chapter in a split screen as I listen to the words.  That has been a big help.  Then, this year, I discovered a free website called prowritingaid, which I now use as another editing tool, and it identifies even more spelling and grammar errors.  So now I find myself writing, proofreading as I go along several times as I write.  When the chapter is finished and I am ready to publish, I do another visual read.  Then I use the prowritingaid site as another editing step. After that, I use the text-to-speech app and listen as I read.  Finally, I copy the whole thing into Google Docs, add italics and bold type and glance through the chapter again to see if Google Docs has discovered any more errors.  It's a very long process, believe me, and it takes so much longer to do the editing and proofreading than to write! For me, the writing part is easy!

Q: Does it (visual impairment) affect the way you write?

A:  Physically, yes.  I cannot use a computer, because I need to be inches away from the screen to see what I am doing.  Sometimes I will sit at a table and write, but usually, I put three cushions on my lap and sit my iPad on top.  Over time, that method has caused me to have pretty severe tendonitis, but I have no other way to write, and it's worth the pain to keep writing! Currently, I am also dealing with frozen shoulder as part of the physical issues.

Also, I have to enlarge my text to write.  I use the Colored Note app for my chapters, set to the maximum size of 36, and when I go into Google Docs, I set the size to 25 so I can read it.

Q: What part about writing do you find the most challenging? What’s the easiest?

A:  As I mentioned above, the most difficult part is definitely the editing/proofreading process because I have to work so much harder than a normally sighted person, and it takes up a huge chunk of time.

Also, I am very particular in trying to write realistic fiction whenever possible.  That means a ton of research. For example, in my story where Molly was shot, Confronting Evil and the Truth, I researched a lot about gunshot wounds and how to care for them.  In A Honeymoon Journey, my characters went to Stratford-upon-Avon, and I researched that location thoroughly for many of the chapters.  In my latest COVID-19 series, I have followed the pandemic closely in the UK and have added many real situations that have happened there.  Research, research, research!

The easiest part is definitely writing the story itself, especially dialogue.  I can hear the characters in my head telling me what to write.  I rarely suffer from writer’s block, unless I am trying to think about how to write a mystery or crime and how to resolve it.

Aslan's Princess

Q: Where do you find inspiration? Is it something specific? Or multiple things?

A: I find inspiration mainly in two areas.  First, from watching episodes over and over and analyzing them. Second, I also find inspiration in my own life, in bringing in real experiences I am familiar with (such as pregnancy and childbirth).  Occasionally I will read a story or a review where someone tells me something that sparks my imagination. My current WIP, The Good Book, was actually inspired by a gif-set one of my readers, Penelope Chestnut showed me.  It got me wondering what would happen if Sherlock suddenly discovered the Bible (shown in TBB) in his bookcase and decided he wanted some answers about the meaning of life.

Justwritebritt

Q: What drives you to keep writing?

A: Certainly, one of the most motivating factors is hearing from readers who enjoy my work.  Readers generally have no clue what kind of power they possess when it comes to encouraging a writer to keep going.  A pat on the back is always a good thing. I wish more people could understand that.

Aside from that, though, I feel a calling from God to keep writing. I like sharing my faith through Molly (and Sherlock). My hope is that people will find my stories inspiring and encouraging.

Q: What/Who can you absolutely not write without?

A:  I cannot write without my iPad.  I use it not only to write, but to research and to watch Sherlock on Netflix.  it's my all-in-one resource!

Q: What is your favorite story you've published so far?

A: I will always love A Journey to Love, Faith and Marriage, because it is the “mothership” from which all my other stories spring, but my writing technique was not great at the beginning; there’s an obvious improvement in later chapters.  But, I am also very fond of Sherlock’s Dream of What Might Have Been.  That one tells a story of Sherlock and Molly meeting in uni, and then jumps to the canon, inserting a secret relationship (and child) throughout the series canon. I put a lot of thought into filling in Season 4 backstory as well.

Q: What (in vague terms) story are you looking forward to telling next?

A: I have a few stories in the pipeline that I am looking forward to sharing.  One that steps away from the overt Christian themes is a Pretty Woman AU.  I haven't seen anyone attempt an AU for that movie, and I look forward to sharing it.  Perhaps it will spark interest with a few more readers because it isn't heavily weighted on the Christian theme scale, but is merely one of my more whimsical, creative story ideas. It is the first story I have written that combines elements from both a movie and the Sherlock narrative.

I also have a couple of one-shots that I will publish in the timeline of my WIP Journey to a New Home, one,that deals with the topic of divorce using a Biblical perspective, plus one that sheds light on the subject of depression.

End of Padt 1.

[everydayanth]

Question re: cultural appropriation: I am Vampirically WhiteTM (I combust/evaporate if exposed to sunlight over 5 seconds), but I sometimes do *all* my hair in tiny, uneven plaits that don't hug my scalp. Answers on various forums seem to only distinguish between big/sparse braids & Black hairstyles, so there isn't a nuanced answer for, "This style isn't Cornrows but I *do* use all my hair." [1/2]

The intention *isn't* to cuddle up as closely to traditionally African styles as possible, but rather so I can take the braids out 3 days later to poof up like a lion/Princess Merida. Humans are a braiding, weaving species, I really do like doing this thing, & I'm not always of the mindset that just b/c something *might* be problematic, I should just bend to my anxieties/White Guilt. Am I still sending the wrong message with my style? [2/2]

Honestly, I have to start by saying I’m a white female, so the action/consequence of this process holds no harm over me and therefore my answer cannot speak for the people (black, specifically women) being potentially appropriated. I can only speak of my own development and understanding of appropriating black culture, specifically with hair.

I grew up in a “black neighborhood” (a problematic concept in itself) and in school, we sat in a train-line of girls during read-aloud and braided each others’ hair. I learned to braid black hair by 2nd grade. We were kids, we saw the differences in our phenotypic traits, but we adapted and didn’t mind much. One time a friend tried oiling my hair and it did not end well, lol, I was a greasy mop the whole day. Braiding was culturally relevant to us as friends, but also to me as an individual: my mom would braid my hair on her good days. In the summer, she would put my hair in many tiny loose braids, similar to what you described, not cornrows, but small braids because it was hot and we didn’t have ac and it was an easy solution. We were judged accordingly based on uniform and size and I distinctly remember the day I learned about the use of a long pinky nail, lol. I didn’t think about it much until I got to high school, then college and studied social science and talked to POC friends there and really began to understand the problems. 

It’s not the act of wearing your hair in a particular style, we humans learn from each other, we copy, we reproduce, we recreate, and we do it for decoration and efficiency or usefulness. Every culture plays with hair and braids and for every example of appropriation, someone has a counter example perceived to be “their ancestors” or some sort of genetic heritage (”I’m 1/32 Native”) giving them rights to partake in a specific kind of decoration or practice. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that when black people, specifically black women, wear their hair in braids, they are treated disrespectfully by our society, while when white people, specifically women, wear locs or braids, they are often rewarded for being worldly or exotic or interesting. 

There is not a common consensus; “black people” are not made of a uniform opinion, and whether something is problematic or offensive varies from one person to another. Appropriation, however, is a little easier to spot because it comes with a reward to some but with a punishment to the people who owned, initiated, or historically created or utilized a thing in the same way.

Black hair and hairstyles have been historically degraded, and its easy to think we live in a better world, but when Kim Kardashian wears “boxer braids” it becomes a trend, while Sasha Obama’s braids were criticized or attributed to past trends rather than her own rich ancestry. When Zendaya shows up in beautiful dreads and dressed to the nines, she is met with racist remarks, while Christina Aguilera’s were considered an “urban” phase.

Appropriation comes from capitalizing off something that isn’t yours, or that you can remove from your identity should the oppressor challenge you (thus why “white-passing” is often part of the conversation). Actively fighting against it means educating yourself on histories of oppression and abuse, modern social perspectives of white privilege, and what we do with all those pieces. 

Black girls are sent home from school or suspended all the time for wearing their hair naturally, in traditional styles, or in styles like weaves that make black hair easier to manage in a non-African climate. Loose braids worn by black girls are still condemned in schools today, while white girls back from Jamaica go unpunished and their braids and beads remain a symbol of money, experience, and privilege. Black men, as well as black LGBTQ+ individuals, are also judged harshly by different (often white-dominated) groups for their own styles and are definitely part of the conversation. 

Understanding the role of hair in culture and seeing the ongoing inequality is the most important thing we can do. Ideally, someday, we live in a world where we can all do what we want so long as it doesn’t harm another person, but we do not live there, and BIPOC are much more subjected to policing of their images, bodies, and especially hair than white people. 

Hair dressers learn white hair by default, not both, most kids never learn about different hair textures or the evolutionary purpose for the differences, they simply learn that one majority group can do whatever they like without negative reinforcement, while the other must adhere to strict rules to emulate the look of the majority with chemicals, expensive tools, and treatments, or be mocked, judged, degraded, and not able to participate in society without fear or ridicule of their personhood, their bodies, their natural selves, as well as the potential loss of job security, violence, or harsher social punishments, like ostracization, being jailed, or murdered by police without consequence. How a majority identifies an “other” has historically included hair texture and style as well as skin color.

Personally, I think intent matters. I don’t braid my hair anymore as a public style. Sure, I braid clumps of it while watching TV or hanging out around the house if I want something of a uniform wave (my mom has type 3 and my dad has type 2 and I got a franken-head of both lol), but I don’t wear many braids as a style out in public. Wearing braids as a young kid made me look like the girls in my class, it connected me to the people around me, and I was subjected to judgement by the black moms based on quality (at least those who spoke up, again, I was a child). I was blending, but when I got to high school, I realized that wearing braids brought an attention with it - oh, you’re interesting, or pretentious, but for my POC friends, employers made them remove braids. They heard condescending things like “your hair is too ghetto” while I began to hear that I was the “ghetto friend, wow so cool and cultured and street smart.” It was always insulting, but one is shittier (you know which one) because it is only condescending, and seeks to erase culture and judges based on racist biases.

If we normalize black hairstyles through popular trends, that seems like a good thing, right? But if white people are the ones normalizing it, then the agency of black people has been taken away from the black communities and restored through a white-savior complex. Not free will or choice, but through the appropriation of their own culture which then replaces the act of demonstrating culture (like wearing braids) as an act of the oppressor mocking and being praised. 

I know or plenty of white girls who wore braids or dreads or black hairstyles as a counter-culture identifier, in the way of popular artists and celebrities, but also activists and stoners appropriating Rastafarian culture. This makes black culture a counter-culture instead of an aspect of American culture or black culture within America that is respected and valued inherently. It otherizes, fetishizes, and tokenizes black culture, takes advantage of the current racist system and white privilege/bias, and gains an aesthetic. That is an intent to appropriate for social gains, and it’s all over the music industry and Hollywood. 

At the end of the day, I don’t think my opinion here can matter, I’m not harmed by your action. Braids are braids and I have a... not-normal history of exposure and love of black hair that most white girls don’t, but even then, I had to grow and listen and understand the nuances of my environment and the society around it. Is it different wearing styles in the middle of nowhere with no social interactions vs. posting on social media or interacting in society? Yeah, I think it is.

So I suppose the sum of the parts is:

Are you benefitting socially from wearing your hair this way? If so, then yeah, that’s sucky for the BIPOC people being pushed down for doing the same and is harmful appropriation. How you measure that seems to depend on intent, so the bias of wanting to keep doing something you like has to be accounted for. 

Is your intent to fit an aesthetic? If so, yeah, definitely a problem. 

Reflect on why you like doing this, what is it you gain or feel or imbibe or get out of the experience in the first place? I’d say at the end of the day, know the history of oppression that exists in America and around the world. Being aware and able to identify appropriation in media, pop culture, and everyday life, as well as the history of it, allows you to be an ally.

And finally, do you listen to what people are saying?

If/when people say things about your hair, understand that you are a social exception to the style and address it. I do think there is a responsibility to engage in these conversations when we ride the line of these grey areas, like when culture is shared with us, to what extent we participate and own it is 100% dependent on that relationship. Be willing to hear black people if they say it is uncomfortable, listen to what they mean, have a conversation about it and be willing to let go of a thing you want if that is the feedback you get.

I think a lot of appropriation comes from the denial of history and the ignorance of oppression. If Kim K made a statement that said “these aren’t boxer braids, they are cornrows, worn by African American women for centuries, mocked and ridiculed by white culture, but have been an efficient way to manage African textured hair in the new climate environment of the Americas when forced here as slaves. Many were forcibly shaven, but for those who were allowed to express themselves in small subtle ways as slaves, through jim crow, and even today, the decoration and design of cornrows was and is incredibly meaningful.” That’s a different conversation about appropriation, that’s using privilege and platform without placating or denying the experiences of others to educate and address appropriation, rather than solely profiting off the attention and claiming to create a “trend.” Black hair is beautiful and should be appreciated and allowed to be as bold or big as an individual wants it to be. 

Hair is one of the coolest, most useful phenotypic traits of thermoregulation in humans/primates, and science still has a few questions yet to research regarding the evolution of different textures and colors. Your own hair texture can change over time, as you grow, especially in women, depending on hormones, especially through pregnancy, nutrition, and chemical treatments like chemotherapy, as well as genetics, and even environmental changes in water hardness, haircare routine and treatment materials. 

With slavery, migrations, immigrations, and other historic and contemporary movements of humans comes the issues of adaption and change to fit the new environment, fighting forced assimilation, colonization, denial of cultural expression, and active racism. We need to be able to talk about these aspects of race in society and listen if and when people say what we are doing is harmful. I think the most important thing to do is educate ourselves on the purpose, history, and meaning of a thing, particularly if we are gaining positive attention from it while others suffer for it. Talk to people of color around you who are willing to offer an opinion, and listen to them. Research the history and speak up when you see the double standard in practice. 

My line is here: if I can find evidence of a POC being criticized for a style (and it’s not my natural hair), I’m not going to wear that style in public or on social media, but I am going to praise it, and criticize those racist comments degrading or demeaning it, I will champion it and demand schools do away with discriminating hair policies, and ask my library to spend money on children’s books about black hair, and do the work of finding black people voicing their opinions, or having a vulnerable and authentic conversation with a friend, then listen and make a judgement from there. If the consensus is that the style is harmful and you continue to wear it, then yeah I’d say that’s a pretty bad message that says: I just don’t care, I want to do this so I will. 

This follows a moral judgement for me: if you love someone and they tell you a thing you do is actively harming them and show you evidence of the harm (as in: it’s not just annoying, but actually harmful to them), but you continue to participate in the thing, that’s not love. I can’t fully picture the specific style, and I don’t know your intent or if/how you gain from the style, so I’m having a hard time forming a full opinion. Is this a style that has been addressed by black communities as harmful? Is it a few different styles put together? Are you in a diverse place, are you criticized for the look, is it even a look to you? 

Personally, I’d say it rides too close to the line for my own comfort and I wouldn’t be wearing a multi-braid style in public (as in more than two, I rock the french-braid pigtails while hiking because its easier to find ticks), but again, I’m not someone who would be being harmed by it. I often try to resist judgement of strangers’ hair unless I know them and their background or platform, because I don’t know their culture, ancestry, or heritage, so I don’t hold others in society to the same standard as myself.

I’d love to hear other peoples’, particularly POC, opinions and experiences with hair and appropriation. 

If there are a few un-uniform braids, is it different than many uniform loose braids, what about compared to cornrows, where is your personal line? Is it different from your social line? How would you judge or hold people accountable in society?

P.s. Thanks for asking and trying to learn more about the potential social impact you are having. I think that’s a great step toward a more equal world that can appreciate culture without taking advantage of others. It sounds like you’re trying to do your research to learn more about whether your action is having a negative consequence, and I appreciate you taking the time to be vulnerable and research and question yourself. I think that also has to be rewarded.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

(Nazi mention tw) Since you answered my question about Magneto’s accent before, I now ask: Does Magneto have citizenship in any nation? Fansites say he has German citizenship, which I don’t think is right—he would have had to actively reapply for citizenship after the defeat of the Nazis. I think Trial of Magneto mentions that he has no citizenship anywhere, though I’m not sure if that is legally true. I think at some point it’s definitively stated that he’s not an Israeli citizen either (1/2)

 (2/2) I presume he had Genoshan citizenship back when there was a Genoshan nation, and that he has Krakoan citizenship now. But other than those, has he been stated to have citizenship anywhere? Would he be likely to have any citizenship?

Uuh, that’s a really interesting question. I also kinda stumbled over his citizenship being stated as German in the wiki a few times, but personally I think they just put Germany in because he was born there. Plus listing all the countries he lived in at this point would be a lot of work lol.

On theother hand he is referred to as German occasionally – for example by Iron Manin Axis-

- but I think that’s just low-hanging fruit for a punchline (tony shut up challenge) and doesn’t really reflect anything. (Although I did check Not A Hero because I remembered we see a glimpse there of the exact description of Mags that Iron Man has in his computer system because I was curious about the nationality there but there is none given.)

But thereare various aspects to nationality – for one, where a person feels athome and how they identify. And especially for someone like Mags who doesn’t care much for laws in the first place, those are probably more important than any “legal” aspects. Personally, I think Mags is more defined by his history as an immigrant or refugee than by any national identity – and when he does exhibit any particular enthusiasm for any country, it’s usually countries with the idea of immigration as their defining traits. Genosha, Israel, America, Krakoa – and his disappointment when one of these countries doesn’t live up to the idea.

As for the legal aspect of things- which citizenship he holds – I personally think it’s very likely that he doesn’t have any ‘official’ citizenship at this point, because he would probably refuse to be defined by one slip of paper and on the other hand, I don’t think any nation is particularly eager to lay a claim to one of the most famous terrorists in the world.

Looking at what we know: Max was born in the Weimarer Republik, not so long before the NS-Regime came into power. According to Magneto: Testament, his father was Jewish and he fought in WW1. While antisemitism was rampant in the Weimarer Republik (obviously), Jewish people had the same legal rights as everyone else and at birth, he would have been considered German.

After the Nazis came into power, the first group of Jewish people which were stripped of their citizenship in 1933 were so-called “Ostjuden”, “East-Jews” from Eastern Europe who had been granted German citizenship after the end of WW1.

Later on, refugees were targeted. I work with Gestapo files for my job and we often encounter emigration files of Jewish people – I just held one in my hands the other day, and all legal formalities aside, the Gestapo straight up, more or less verbatim, writes in these files: “We have evidence that Jew XY (yeah, they put “Jew” in front of their names like that) has left the country. They can therefore be considered an emigrant. It is to be investigated whether they left wealth of more than 5000 RM in Germany.” 

If the person or family left behind wealth of more than 5000 RM, they were stripped of their citizenship and their possessions were put up for auction. Mind you, the official law that stripped Jewish people who “changed their usual place of residence” of their citizenship officially came into power on the 25.11.1941 - but the entries I found in the Gestapo and Sondergerichts files about the earlier-mentioned practices date back to…I think 1937 or 1938 (I still have one of the file numbers in my notebook I could even look it up), the major difference being the >5000 RM limit earlier. But as of the 18th of October 1941, Jewish people were officially forbidden from emigrating, because deportation was considered a more efficient way to access their money.

Obviously we can’t know how much money Max’ family had exactly (we know they’re middle class, his father being a civil servant and probably also receives some pensions as a veteran), but considering that physical property and real estate were also sold in these auctions and that they fled Germany in 1939, it’s not unlikely that according to NS-law, he was stripped of his German citizenship then already. If he didn’t, he must officially have lost in 1941 because he was nolonger living in Germany. As of 25.4.1943, all Jewish people and people considered “Half-Jews” as well as Romani people were ultimately stripped oftheir German citizenship. So he must have lost his German citizenship between 1939-1943, although I’d argue it’s more likely to have happened between 1939and 18th of October 1941. I think we could even narrow it down further, since they seemed to have barely arrived in Poland when his father’s friendtells them that the Germans invaded Poland, but honestly, that’s hardly therelevant point here.

Another important aspect is that the Nazis often “confiscated” the papers of the prisoners of their camps. After the war, many German Holocaust survivors who returned to “Germany” (or whatever else to call that entity until the foundingof East and West Germany), had a hard time proving that they were in fact German. While some were lucky and still had papers or there were enough people around their home towns who would admit they knew them, others had great problems getting their own property back or to get their compensation money or just their identity back. 

I work with an organisation that works with Holocaust survivors and one of them told us that when he returned, he almost didn’t get his home back (it had been turned into an NSDAP-house) and that the same mayor who had his parents and his siblings imprisoned to get his hands on said house was still in power. And would later become a member of the Bundestag, the German parliament.  Without a federal government in place and even the tribunals that were responsible for taking care of the victims of the fascist regime corroded by former Nazis and ideological infighting, the survivors were still facing discrimination. Especially since the rest of the population basically refused to address these issues. It’s also noteworthy that Romani people were still subject to a different legal status after the war and that explicit legal discrimination continued well into the 1990s and early 2000s. So for many reasons, getting your citizenship back wasn’t usually a walk in the park - especially if you have a Romani friend with you and escaped before the war even officially ended. It would have been risky as hell for them to go back home. And even if Germany had magically turned into a model democracy, it was still a place of horrible memories for both him and Magda and they had nothing there anymore and no one waiting for them.

So ok, what does that mean? We know Max and Magda escaped Auschwitz together and went to live in the Carpathians and eventually had Anya and Max/Erik got his first false identity. Which…is a thing he does a lot so the question is… whether that counts as an official citizenship? If yes, he had Ukrainian papers at some point. In the end, it’s a question of self-determination, really but the papers were still fake.

Then the unthinkable happened, Anya died, Magda ran and Max/Erik was on his own again and went to Israel as Erik Magnus. Now, it’s still another new name, but there’s nothing saying he didn’t adopt it in official papers and got anofficial citizenship. That would make him at this point either Israeli or Israeli-Ukrainian. I would actually argue the former is more likely, because he was working for the Mossad (which probably means he had real papers as an Israeli) and the CIA - which would probably have had a hard time trusting a Soviet.  

As for Genosha and Krakoa…I mean, you could definitely argue that he was automatically a citizen of Genosha because it was “his” country. The question is…would did he consider himself a “Genoshan”? because…personally I think the nature of the country as a home for mutants would have been much more relevant to him than any questions of national identity. Especially if you compare it with Krakoa, you notice the different treatment of concepts of language and culture in Krakoa – which has its own language and writing (which is imprinted in your brain CAN WE PLEASE REVISIT THAT?? I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS) and generally seems to have a much stronger focus on the creation of a Krakoan identity. 

So where does that leave us? I don’t think he ever went to claim his German citizenship again. He legally could and even emigrated people who never returned again are usually considered German-(Whatever nationality they adopted)(but not just “German” like his Wiki entry does).  I assume he became Israeli at some point, especially since he worked for the Mossad (I don’t think they would have been very impressed with fake papers). I don’t think he ever said he was ‘Genoshan’ as an integral part of his cultural identity – I think it was first and foremost the community he was tied to, the people, the idea of his new Genosha, but honestly, I don’t know any textual evidence on that and there are many aspects from his rule over Genosha that I have a conflicted relationship with writing-wise. As I said, Krakoa is a different house number but again, I think even with its own language and everything, that Mags’ reasoning is less “I am Krakoan” and more “Mutants are Krakoan and I am a mutant.”

Generally, I don’t think Mags ever really thinks in terms of “national identity”. Being Jewish, being a mutant, being an immigrant, being a survivor, living the life he does, doing what he does – I think all those things rank much higher in his sense of self than national identity ever could - and even if it did, I don’t think he would care much about a ‘legal’ status anywhere. But I think it’s important to keep in mind that he grew up in a state that used national identity as a means of controlling and brainwashing its citizens – at the expense of people like him. Growing up, national identity was an exclusionary experience for him rather than an inclusive one - one that he never wanted to be part of. 

For him, discrimination was the key relationship he had with national identity and even after the war, he gets false papers and changes his name to be with the woman he loves. And later he changes his name again and goes to Israel and works in a hospital to help other survivors. Just like he didn’t have any problems becoming Charles’ cousin. He just moves on. He took over Genosha to help mutants and the same ambition brought him to Krakoa. And at the same time he’s always willing to change his location for the people he loves. So personally I think that these values rank much higher for him than national identity and generally, I think for him the communities he does consider himself part of are usually ones of shared experiences while for example while his time in Ukraine or Germany were defined by exclusion. For the same reason I think that for Mags, cultural transfer - of language, customs, food and other cultural aspects - would usually remind him of the people he lived with in the respective countries rather than an ambition to assimilate or be “(nation)-ian”. Especially since Mags isn’t the type to seek comfort in the collective.

[iskierka]

Body Image and Aziraphale, or, Violently Projecting My Issues Onto This Character The Way God Intended

In honor of my new URL, I wanted to get down some of my feelings around body image since I’ve been doing a lot of projecting onto Aziraphale recently. I want to talk about both why Aziraphale is one of my favorite (and one of the more positive examples of) fat characters, and why I still relate to him through the lens of my own issues.

First off, there are a few trigger warnings that could apply here, but mainly if you’ve struggled with an eating disorder or disordered eating or body image in general, even though this isn’t a graphic discussion or anything, this may not necessarily be something you want to read.

Having dealt with different eating disorders for ten or eleven years now, and body image issues for longer than that, fat characters are really important to me—but only when they’re treated well (by the production, not as necessarily the other characters). There’s obviously a big difference between how Aziraphale is portrayed and how, say, a character like Thor was portrayed in Endgame. Aziraphale is fat, but it isn’t in and of itself A Personality Trait. However, I don’t think it’s a purely physical trait either. In fact, him being fat reflects the good (if not Angelic Good) aspects of his character. Aziraphale enjoys the comforts and pleasures of earth, and his body is just a reflection of that. I see it as a reflection of his love for the world. And look: when Gabriel says “lose the gut” the implication is for Aziraphale to miracle himself into shape, right? What’s made clear here is that Aziraphale can change the way he looks at any time. I think this is to be expected, but it’s important in this context because it means Aziraphale likes that he’s soft. When he comes back with “I’m soft,” it’s a reflection of how he sees himself in a permanent sort of way. Physical softness is not an immutable trait for him, but of course Aziraphale is not talking only about his physical form. His whole being is soft. (Certainly, there are other aspects to his personality; Aziraphale is just enough of a bastard to be worth liking. But compared to the rest of the Host that we see: other angels are rigid in a way that he just isn’t.) Basically, what I see is this: one, part of what makes Aziraphale likable (his love for the world) goes hand in hand with his being fat, and two, Aziraphale has made a conscious choice to be fat.

So then, something else about me: I’ve always felt alienated from body positivity and fat activism. It doesn’t matter whether I’m a size 6 or 22, as someone who has spent—spends—quite a lot of their time genuinely hating their body, those spaces have always felt unwelcoming. My experiences with eating disorders have felt often unwelcome in the context of fat activism. (“Deal with your shit on your own time.”) I’m not able to muster enough Positivity to be a proper activist. So, it may seem odd that a character like this, one so at home and satisfied with being fat, has struck me so emotionally. There are a few reasons here that I see that make Aziraphale comforting rather than needling at these same insecurities. I believe that’s because how little attention the show pays to him being fat. It’s not something that’s really negative or positive in its portrayal. Sure, Gabriel makes that “lose the gut” comment, but it’s not something the audience is meant to side with him on. He’s the villain here, and it’s also meant to be a bit silly or absurd—maybe you could put it in with his disturbance at Aziraphale eating sushi, which shows how much closer to “being” human Aziraphale is than the other angels. And on the other hand, while I have kind of argued here that his fatness is put in a positive light, but I don’t think that’s an overt thing. (For most people watching casually, Aziraphale’s weight is irrelevant and nothing but a one-off joke.) And it isn’t only treated that way by the powers that be, Aziraphale himself, in calling himself soft, says that is integral to him in an absolutely natural way—it’s just part of who he is.

But here’s the thing: I’ve near read my way through the body image and eating disorder tags for Good Omens on AO3. One fic in particular where Aziraphale begins to develop an eating disorder, I’ve already read through four times.* Honestly, it is that normality of his fatness, the permanence of it and role in his own self-image, that make this whole genre (I suppose?) of fics hit so hard for me. For a lot of people including myself, EDs are a form of self-harm. So what makes stories where a character like Aziraphale struggles with issues like these so rending is that it would be a representation of a deeper unhappiness with the fundamental parts of who he is.

And maybe to a lot of people, it seems just a little bit this side of absurd still that he ever would.** But people with EDs often share certain personality traits. A few I recognize in Aziraphale’s character: a tendency towards (personal) harm avoidance, worry, and lack of emotional openness. I think there a few examples of each of these. First harm avoidance—besides just his general desire to avoid ending the world (this is much, much more tied to his love for it anyway), I think his reticence in his relationship with Crowley (“you go too fast for me”) shows this best. Their relationship is also likely the best example of his emotional barriers. (Sure, he isn’t cold like other angels, but nor is he open, and Aziraphale seems to desire that warmth and closeness from connection in a way that the rest of the Host do not.) There are many points where his tendency to over-worry comes across: thinking Crowley is asking for a suicide pill, after five centuries still worrying Heaven will care about the Arrangement—these come up over and over. Maybe it isn’t so unreasonable to think that some version of Aziraphale could fall into an ED. Look at it this way: you lose your only real anchor on earth, your trust in the goodness and rightness of Heaven is broken down, so you try some way to feel in control again, no matter how irrational. Another part of Aziraphale that I think speaks to this tendency to fall into this as a coping mechanism is his position as a protector, a guardian. He lives a role that is about serving and providing for others. When you have an identity constructed around providing comfort, security, and faith to others, it can feel very natural to turn to inwardly or personally destructive habits like EDs instead of reaching out or opening up to others. If you lose some fundamental outward belief, it often feels insurmountable to also reassess your perception of yourself (“lose faith in yourself”) and seek out support.***

I think part of the reason that Aziraphale is comfortable for me to project on here is that his body is established as something neutral-to-positive in canon, while being fat is something negative societally. His character doesn’t bring baggage, and so I think those of use who are fat or have struggled with body image see ourselves in him. For some people that means seeing a character able to be beyond societal pressures on the body, for others it means seeing a powerful character still able to fall into the same things we do and not be bad or weak because of it.

I’m stopping here for now and I know this is all pretty jumbled, but I’ve just been feeling like I need to get this down. It’s been nice to see some positivity about Aziraphale being fat, but sometimes it can be hard to see only positivity because I can’t relate to that. I’m really happy to be in a fandom again where there are characters who aren’t fit/skinny & I love reading all y’all’s fic and seeing fanart—it’s meant a lot. Also: if you too have fat Aziraphale feelings, pls pls come talk to me!!!

* link to that fic

** I know there are reasons why this seems weird re: story mechanics, but I don’t think it’s that hard to understand this plausibly within canon. I’ve got lots of ideas anyway :^)

*** I’m trying not to stray into headcanon territory here but I think it is important that any fic that deals with EDs doesn’t fall into a gets together with/receives affirmation from skinny partner and ED suddenly disappears trope. The reality is that EDs usually stick around after whatever crisis that might’ve triggered their development has passed.

[bonepranks-a]

@anonymous said... For any later thought: how do you interpret skeletons as a monster species? Obviously they’ve got some drastically different shapes than a normal human skeleton! But I’ve seen some interesting concepts (like fuzzy skeletons— cute— strange— but cute!). But are their any interesting biological traits you incorporate (claws, thicker bones, strength of tactile perception given they are Just Bones—) or social traits (any quirks of the species—)?

. OUT              @vertebralheights​ and i could give a whole lecture on skeleton biology (maybe we will one day lol) so ivy, feel free to chime in here with any thoughts. but! i reject the idea of most skeletons having ever been human. that being said, and i’m pulling from ivy’s lore here), there ARE some skeleton monsters who were specifically revived from dead humans (mostly during the war). they have their own unique traits i won’t get into because it’s not super relevant to your question && it’s not my lore or area of expertise. i am intrigued by the comment papyrus makes about skeletons being descended from humans, and i am interested in maybe exploring that, but that’s some backstory detail i have no time to think about right now. instead, i see their shapes and sizes are more reflective of other monster types than human types. that being said, i think that pre-war they were actually the species that bridged the gap between humans monsters mostly because of the familiarity and similarities to humans. of course, as times changed and skeletons as a concept became more associated with necromancy and death and all around spookiness, the humans began to reject the skeletons. this was one of the impetuses for the war.

             as for more specific biological traits, i can tell you what i don’t like. and by don’t like i mean fucking HATE. 1) ecto-genitalia/bodies/tongues/etc. i don’t judge anyone who DOES headcanon that but to me it’s just.... dumb and unnecessary. like rip to the entire udnertale fandom but i’m different. it was literally a concept only created for the sake of po.rn and i’m just not here for it?? the whole point of them being SKELETONS is that they’re vastly different from humans and like... all other monsters. just let them be actual skeletons. it’s way funnier that way. also, having ecto-parts is just an easy out for everything. if you’re going to conceptualize a species of monster, make it work within the confines of that species. skeletons are the ONLY pre-existing monster species (besides uh. dogs.). i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again -- just come up with something new! for fuck’s sake. okay, rant over.

               i’m not a fan of them having fur, hair, claws or fangs. again, that’s an aesthetic choice i just don’t get the point of. in my mind, they’re really just bones, held together by magic and magic alone. which is HILARIOUS because i love the idea of a skeleton being so tired/devoid of magical energy that they just sorta fall apart. they’re fine (i think they can detach random bones at will) but they have to kinda put themselves back together again. it doesn’t happen that often -- not even to sans except on rare occasions. pretty much only if their body isn’t producing enough magical energy to sustain their physical form. along those lines, the reason they’re able to eat without the food just falling out of them is that monster food as we know does not pass all the way through the body. the natural conclusion to this fact is that their bodies simply convert it to magical energy as it enters their system. this is what gives it it’s healing power. skeletons probably jut evolved in such a way that this conversion happens instantly (even if it takes longer for other monsters. maybe it doesn’t.) i’m not sure what happens if they try to eat non-monster food. my guess is that it works the same way -- but it only satiates hunger, not magical energy nor can it heal. so even on the surface, monsters need to continue making monster food.

             i talked about skeleton eye-lights in my last post but something i forgot to specifically say is that they don’t need their eye-lights to see. it’s more of an expressive thing anyway. the eye-lights are magic generated, not an actual biological trait. because again, they’re just eyesockets. however -- skeletons CAN close them. that’s just an odd quirk that’s different from a typical human skeleton. that and creasing their brows. 

           also, because they’re just bones, they don’t weigh much. think science classroom skeleton. however, they ARE very strong as a general rule, they can lift their own body weight which again, isn’t much, but compared to humans who have to train to be able to deadlift their own weight, it’s a natural ability for skeletons.

            in terms of social traits/quirks? i think there’s a tendency to be more reclusive? but then again, i see all monsters that way (as opposed to humans who are naturally social beings). but also, there just..... aren’t a lot of skeletons. most of them are in vertebral heights, and while sans and pap socialize, they also tend to just..... do their own things. skeletons, i think, have a history of standing apart from other monsters and so the ones that are still alive continue that trend.

             oh! i need to talk about font & voices while we’re here. again, this could be a post all on it’s own, but i’ll try to streamline it. skeletons are usually (but not always) named after fonts. these names tend to be chosen after hearing the baby vocalize (not necessarily speak, although i ALSO think that babybones speak much earlier than human babies). a skeleton’s font is like a visual manifestation of an accent. it’s not a different language (among roman alphabet fonts) but rather an inflection in the voice. skeleton voices work sort of like synesthesia, where another skeleton can see or at least sense the font that’s being spoken in. and so this is usually how they get their names. sometimes skeletons have multi-part names (first & middle & last), other times not. sometimes a family will use one generation’s last name and carry it down even for skeletons who don’t possess that particular font. i’ll do a post later on the specifics of sans’ family to give some examples. 

             the exception to this rule is skeletons who speak in symbolic fonts (wingdings, webdings, dingbat, etc). they speak in a series of vocalizations that other symbolic-speaking skeletons understand but pretty much no one else can. it sounds similar to the soundfont used for entry number 17, if less distorted (i think that what we hear there is an effect of the void, despite being written before he fell into the core). symbolic-speaking skeletons CAN learn to speak non-symbolic fonts (that usually take the form of one of the plainest fonts of either the serif or the sans serif families), but not all of them choose to (gaster did not). however, it’s INCREDIBLY difficult for a skeleton who does not possess the natural language to learn to speak it (it’s possible with training, but their voices just don’t work that way). however, learning to read/write in the fonts is an easily achievable practice, as is understand it when spoken, with time. however, most symbolic-font skeletons learn how to sign, and in return most non-symbolic font skeletons learn how to understand sign language. 

              and i think that’s it??? friends & followers, feel free to drop your skeleton biology thoughts into the replies or in my ask box! i always love hearing other people’s takes!

[terramythos]

Review: The Stone Sky by N. K. Jemisin (The Broken Earth #3)

Length: 398 pages.

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Apocalyptic, Post-post-post Apocalyptic, Dystopia, Female Protagonist, Antagonist POV, First-Person, Second-Person, Third-Person, Gray Morality, Dark, Great Worldbuilding, Great Character Development, LGBT Characters, Diverse Cast, Trilogy, Perfect Score 

Warning(s): This is probably the most optimistic of the trilogy, but it’s still not a happy series. Abuse/torture, slavery, graphic violence and gore, and major body horror. References to child death. 

My Rating: 5 / 5 

**WARNING: THIS REVIEW (INCLUDING THE SUMMARY) CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST TWO BOOKS. IF YOU WANT A SPOILER FREE REVIEW, PLEASE READ MY FIFTH SEASON REVIEW (X), OR, BETTER YET, JUST READ THE SERIES.**

My Summary:

The reckoning of the world has come. Essun, who has lived a life of suffering and loss, finally has a home to call her own. But she is one of the last living humans who can harness The Obelisk Gate and return the Moon to the world, finally quelling Father Earth’s rage and ending the apocalyptic Seasons forever. She knows such an act will  cost her life. 

Her daughter Nassun, meanwhile, has seen that the cruelty of the world cannot be reconciled. More powerful than her mother, she seeks the power of The Obelisk Gate for another purpose— to end the suffering of others, forever. 

And finally, Hoa reveals the origins of himself and the other stone eaters— the immortal, humanoid statues who have their own stakes and motives in this conflict. His is a chilling tale of a utopia built on the suffering of others… a cycle humanity seems unable to break, even 40,000 years after the Seasons began. 

Does humanity deserve another chance? Only one will decide the fate of the Earth.

Time grows short, my love. Let’s end with the beginning of the world, shall we? Yes. We shall.

Minor spoilers and my thoughts follow.

Here’s my dilemma— this is the final book in a series, and I find it impossible to talk about any final entry without reflecting on what came before it. For better or worse, everything ties together somehow in the last book. In this case I’d say “for better”, because this book was great, and an excellent way to conclude a thought-provoking and wonderful trilogy. But nevertheless, I’ll probably be discussing the series as a whole in this review.

So, yes, this was a really good conclusion. Definitely not where I expected things to end up, based on the opening premise, but that’s not a bad thing, and it’s been interesting to see how the story and characters have molded and changed. Honestly, I don’t have some master plan on how to style this review, except by discussing all the different parts of the story that really clicked for me.

I’m a sucker for “fate of the world” type stories, and I’m glad that The Stone Sky finally takes this direction. It’s really something to see how far Essun has come. She starts as a scared little girl hiding in a barn and is now a forty-something woman with the destiny of humanity in her hands. You can see all the steps that lead her to this point, but there’s something truly epic about any story that includes such a level of growth. It’s been an often-painful ride, but one I’ve really enjoyed nevertheless.

Obviously, I have to talk about the characters. Everyone was SO interesting. Even characters you were supposed to dislike initially had fascinating development over time. Schaffa is the obvious example, as we saw in The Obelisk Gate, but that continues in The Stone Sky as well. In this one there’s a minor antagonist from the previous book who gets called out on her bullshit and… changes her behavior accordingly. Hell, the leading antagonist of the entire series, Father Earth, the force that has caused the death and destruction of billions of people, has justifiable motives.

And you look at Essun, who is generally a good person at heart, and some of the terrible things she’s done (which is ESPECIALLY relevant since the narrator likes to see the best in her). Her daughter Nassun fills the “destroy the world” role, but even her motivations for doing so come from a place of compassion. It’s… interesting, to say the least. And that’s not to say that there aren’t minor characters who are pretty awful the whole time, but those are noticeably the irredeemable bigots, which makes sense for the type of story being told here.

You know what I mentioned in my Obelisk Gate review (x) about gray morality? Yeah. Everyone major is a complex character. Who knew?

As for specifics, I already named most of my favorite characters in my Obelisk Gate review, and that pretty much continues here. There are some new faces introduced (or re-introduced) in this one, but for the most part the focus is on an established cast, emphasizing how they’ve grown and changed over time. There’s plenty of examples. Essun, despite everything, has started to move past a lot of her trauma and open up to other people. Nassun has her own found family in Schaffa, but nevertheless continues to spiral down a destructive path. Probably the most significant development in this one is Hoa, our intrepid narrator, who finally reveals his origins and backstory. I found him fascinating because he directly states his motives several times, yet we don’t really know his intentions until this book. It’s been a ride back and forth, but I think he’s probably one of the most interesting characters in the series. He’s a far cry from the minor helper character he seems to be at first.  

While the first two books had snippets from Hoa’s perspective, he becomes a full-fledged perspective character in The Stone Sky, and reveals a lot about the world and general themes of the story. This entry also humanizes him a great deal. We already knew he identifies as a human, that he’s one of the oldest stone eaters alive, but not necessarily what that means to him until now. Most of his story explores how the world got to its current, cyclical apocalypse-state, tied to the origins of the stone eaters. Despite the time leaps, Jemisin keeps it all relevant and interesting; it never feels jarring to switch between disparate perspectives. That’s true for the other books as well, and I think it speaks quite well of her writing. One really satisfying part about Hoa’s perspective in this entry is we get an actual, canon explanation for why he’s narrating Essun’s life in second-person. Over the course of the series he lapses into first-person sometimes, or narrates in a very stylistic way, and all of that starts to make sense too. There’s even solid reasoning to the whole unreliable narrator thing! It was a nice touch to tie off the series.

This entry into the series also gives us a chance to look at long term worldbuilding. Specifically, there’s a LOT of slow burn/long con details about the world that we finally figure out here. One really interesting detail is the concept of “icewhite eyes”. Basically, it’s a rare eye color that’s commonly seen as a bad omen. The Fifth Season seems to play this straight; two named characters have icewhite eyes. One is the then-monstrous Schaffa. So, bad omen, check. The other is Hoa, who we figure out pretty early isn’t quite human (at least how we see it), and has mysterious— possibly sinister— intentions. So, check off the bad omen there, right? Except BOTH of these characters develop in unexpected ways. Schaffa becomes— of all things— a strong father figure for Nassun. Hoa is, well, Hoa, and full of spoilers, but it should be obvious by now he’s a pretty complex guy. Finally, in The Stone Sky, we learn where the negative beliefs about icewhite eyes come from, and it is… well, pretty fucked. It’s obviously allegorical, but the reader doesn’t really get the extent of it until this book, which makes it all the more insidious. It ties wonderfully to the anti-bigotry, anti-oppression themes of the novel, and does so by completely playing the reader.

This is just one example of many, and I’m willing to bet this series is a fun one to re-read due to all the future context. But now to focus on things that generally apply to the series, rather than something this book in particular focuses on.

Generally speaking, there are things about the world that I really like, now that I’ve had three books to consider them. One big thing that played with my expectations was orogeny as a concept; for all intents and purposes it feels like this world’s version of magic. But as the series goes on you learn orogeny isn’t magic at all; just an evolutionary trait future humans picked up (I mean, the term “oroGENE” implies this, but…). Not only that, but traditional magic does exist, and is very relevant to the story. The stone eaters were also super interesting. They were way different than most generic “fantasy races,” and getting their backstory in this entry made them even more compelling to me. They’re uncanny and sort of creepy at first, but the more you learn about them the more explainable their behavior becomes.

I’ve talked so much about the things I like about the series that I’ve neglected to mention the writing itself… it’s very good. Exquisite, even. I’m not sure how else to describe it— Hoa has a very strong voice— humorous (often bitterly) and cognizant of the little details. I loved the fun poetic bits that experiment with typeface and line breaks. There’s even a part where The Important Words Were Capitalized, which felt so natural with how people type now that I’m surprised I haven’t seen it much in literary works. The trilogy was very fun to read based purely on the writing. Even if it had been lacking in content, which it wasn’t, I think I still would have enjoyed it purely for the craft.

Certain themes are omnipresent in this series, and there were several that really struck a chord with me. Obviously, the cycles of oppression the characters face are allegorical to the real world. One thing I REALLY like about this series is how much it defends the downtrodden, something I feel mainstream fantasy often fails to do. So many series seem to WANT an oppressed class in their fantasy world, then are completely apathetic to what that means, or don’t bother to challenge the issues such an inclusion brings. It’s like “oh, well, this happens in the real world, so I should have some sort of allegory for racism/sexism/homo/transphobia”. Not so here— The Broken Earth is about the full implications of oppression and why it’s so wrong, why it’s so unjust. The Fifth Season’s dedication reads “For all those who have to fight for the respect that everyone else is given without question” and honestly that was the point I knew this series and I were going to click. Just because we are looking through a fantasy lens does not make these things any less horrible or ugly, and I’m glad the series takes such a strong stance against dehumanization and oppression.

Another overarching theme I was surprised impacted me so much was that of parenthood. A character early in the series says “Children will be the ruin of us.” It’s a haunting line in context, and thematically it sticks through the rest of the series. Essun’s motherhood is a central part of her character— striking because initially she has no desire to be a mother. She is, arguably, not even a very good mother in the traditional sense— but her protectiveness of her children ultimately defines a lot of the story. It’s hard to go into detail without broaching major spoiler territory, but it’s a consistent and heart-wrenching theme that persists all the way to the end. That particular line is literal for many, many events in the story.

I discussed representation in my previous reviews, so I won’t retread that much, but stories like this prove just how easy it is (and should be) to be inclusive. It makes sense that the cast is so diverse in this series, because it is very much about the oppressed and the issues they face. Wouldn’t make any sense to have that central concept, then focus on a bunch of straight white guys. But that being said, I think this series is a great example of how  writing can be better in terms of representation. This is the only fantasy series I’ve ever read where the main protagonist is a 40-something black mother. And there should be much, much more out there. Since getting into this series I’ve found myself looking critically at a lot of mainstream entertainment, and its failure to represent minority groups beyond a few token characters. It was a problem I was aware of, but this series makes it look so easy that I find myself even more annoyed that most people don’t bother.

I’m not going to lie— The Broken Earth is a pretty bleak series. A lot of really horrible shit happens to the main cast. Hell, the opening premise is that (a) a toddler was murdered by his father, and (b) the world is about to end forever, killing millions of people. Most of the early content focuses on a brutalized slave class, hated by society for the crime of having a certain evolutionary trait. But the series is also about the small moments of hope that shine through despite these things. Happiness and compassion are worth celebrating, because they remind us that there is something worth fighting for in the world, no matter how hopeless and awful things seem. We see characters who are victimized and beaten down ultimately come into their own truths and find their own families and reasons to live. So yeah, it’s a dark series, but I wouldn’t have had it other way. I hope someday I can meet N. K. Jemisin to thank her for writing these. They’ve given me a lot to think about.

[scaberix]

Small Presence ─ Momotarou Onzai SR

On the way to their youkai shooting, MooNs members talk about Momotarou’s character and later about how common gifted people were in the past. It is known that Momotarou has also some sort of sixth sense and, when they reach the shooting location, he mentions sensing something. What it seems to be a presence at first, turns out to be...!?

Tsubasa: Anyway, the ad shoot in which you’re playing as youkais is interesting, right?

Hikaru: I know, right, I know~! This kind of job is a first for me, but I’m soo excited! Right, Leader!?

Kazuna: Fufu, that’s right. We’ll be able to challenge ourselves with different poses so it’s well thought and worth doing, I can’t wait.

Tatsuhiro: They also paid particular attention to the minutest details of the costumes, I wonder where they looked at for reference.

Mikado: Yeah, these are costumes that reflect the spirit of those who made them. And because I sense such feelings, I want to make this shoot successful.

Tsubasa: Yes. During the shooting so far, everyone looked very good and cool. Tsubasa: However, I still don’t have a clear picture of Momo-kun’s Nue for the next shoot...

Mikado: Ahh, the Nue, right. It certainly isn’t a major youkai, and the documents don’t go into details. Mikado: Because it cries at night in a creepy voice, and it’s written with the kanji of night and bird*, they say it’s the Nue, but... in reality, its true nature is unknown.

Hikaru: Ehh! Really?

Mikado: In literature, it is drawn as a mixture of various animals, but its appearance is different depending on the situation.

Tsubasa: It looks like a mysterious youkai.

Hikaru: Then, it’s perfect for Pi-chan!

Momotarou: Is that so?

Kazuna: You have a good point, sometimes I think that Momo senses different things than us.

Mikado: Perceiving the subtleties of a person is one of Momotasu’s traits that fascinates, after all.

Kazuna: Yeah. I feel like I am often helped by the sharpness of Momo’s intuition.

Momotarou: I see... I don’t get it myself, but if it helps you, I’m happy.

Mikado: If it’s Momotasu, perhaps he can see things.

Hikaru: Eh? “Seeing”, what are you-?

Mikado: Down the age of the Imperial Capital*, there were many with that gift.

Hikaru: Wai- by “that gift“ you mean...

Mikado: But of course, I’m talking about seeing non-humans.

Tatsuhiro: Yeah, if it’s Onzai we’re talking about then it might be possible.

Hikaru: You two stop it! You’re scaring Tsubasa-chan too!

Tatsuhiro: Really now? You’re the only one scared here at the moment.

Momotarou: ....

Tsubasa: Momo-kun?

Momotarou: I don’t know about non-humans, but I sense eyes looking at me everywhere.

Tsubasa: EH!?

Hikaru: Pi-chan! Y- You’re kidding, right~!?

Mmotarou: ....

*Nue( 鵺 )’s kanji is composed of night (夜) and bird ( 鳥 ), thus the story about it appearing at night and its cries. *Mikado actually says Kyoto instead of Imperial Capital, but since the story is about folklore and ancient myths, I wanted to adapt it a bit more.

___________

Tsubasa: Let’s see, with this Momo-kun’s shooting is done, next up is Masunaga-san...

Tsubasa: Ah, Momo-kun. Good work. Did the shoot proceed with no problems?

Momotarou: Ah, yes- Momotarou: That’s what I want to say, but there’s something bothering me.

Kazuna: Bothering you?

Momotarou: It’s about the presence we were talking about on the bus... ever since the shoot started, I feel like it’s getting stronger.

Tatsuhiro: Oi, oi, getting stronger, you say...

Kazuna: Momo, are you for real? Isn’t it just your imagination?

Tatsuhiro: If you felt it so clear since then, then, for example... couldn’t it be the locals who came to watch?

Tsubasa: No, for today’s shooting they're not allowed to enter.

Mikado: Huh, huh, don’t tell me it’s a real presence?

Hikaru: Wai- wai- wai- seriously, stop it~!

Momotarou: ... There.

Tsubasa: Eh!? Momo-kun, where!?

Momotarou: ... Found you.

Tatsuhiro: Onzai, that’s...

Momotarou: Yeah. Apparently, the identity of the gazing presence seems to be this guy.

Cat: Meow.

Tsubasa: A c-cat...

Tatsuhiro: ... What, it’s just a cat.

Hikaru: Hah! Tatsu, you’re relievedー! So you freaked out a little too!

Tatsuhiro: It's not like that!

Cat: Meow.

Momotarou: Looks like it’s accustomed to being near a lot of people.

Hikaru: Cute~! Let me hold you too for a bit. There, there...

Cat: (Purrs)

Mikado: What a nice picture~ Since we’re here, why don’t we take a picture?

Hikaru: Nice, Mikachi! Take it, take it~!

Mikado: Kitty, you too, look here.

Cat: Meow.

Hikaru: Waah! It turned toward the camera!

Tatsuhiro: It kind of looks like it understand human language.

Kazuna: What a smart one.

Momotarou: Yeah.

___________

Staff: Everyone, sorry for the waitー! We’re done here, so we’ll move to the next location soonー.

Tsubasa: Yes! We’re coming!

Hikaru: ... I mean! Sorry, but we have got to go, kitty!

Mikado: That's a shame. Considering we’ve been getting along so well.

Cat: Meow...

Momotarou: Don’t make such a sad face.

Hikaru: That’s right! I'll give you a snack as a farewell gift. Which one is better?

Momotarou: Hikaru, I understand how you feel, but you can’t let a cat eat sweets.

Hikaru: Eh, it’s no good?

Momotarou: Yeah, the stuff you have are no good for a cat. Momotarou: Long ago, when my little brother picked up a cat, I looked into the internet.

Tatsuhiro: If that’s the case, it’s better not to give them to it.

Hikaru: Gotcha! Then, until next time, kitty!

Cat: Meo~w.

Mikado: ... It’s gone.

Momotarou: Looks like it really understood human language.

Kazuna: ... Well then, I understand you’re sad to leave it, but the staff is also waiting, so we better move.

...

Hikaru: Hey, hey! Don’t you think this picture turned out quite nice? I’ll send it to the group on JOIN!

Mikado: What! If that’s the case, then I think this picture too turned out quite good!

Tsubasa: Fufu, ever since before, everyone has been talking about the cat...

Kazuna: Anyway, I wonder why that cat followed Momo.

Tatsuhiro: You’re right. That’s been bothering me.

Mikado: Hmm, in this case... This is merely an assumption, but isn’t it because Momotasu was wearing the costume of the Nue?

Hikaru: And... what does that mean?

Momotarou: The Nue is an unknown youkai, but according to one theory, it is said that it has the head of a cat. Therefore, it might have seemed they were both of the same kind.

Hikaru: Like, fellows or something!?

Tatsuhiro: Oi, are you for real!

Mikado: Well, doesn’t it seem more interesting this way?

Hikaru: ... Ah! Hikaru: If that’s the case, I should have taken another picture with Pi-chan dressed like the Nue!

Mikado: You have a point! How regrettable!

Kazuna: Fufu. Maybe while staying in Kyoto, it might come to see Momo again.

Momotarou: Right... Tsubasa, let me go shopping later on the way back.

Tsubasa: What are you buying?

Momotarou: Sweets for cats. I want to prepare for when we meet again.

Tsubasa: Fufu, understood. Once the shooting has finished, let’s go shopping!

[fineillsignup]

Taking Chakra Nature to 11: some headcanons

Buckle up because it’s gonna be a long ride.

So one of the things that makes Naruto so attractive as a fandom (as opposed to as a franchise) is that there’s all this tantalizing potential that was never realized, just waiting for someone to pick it up and expand on it. In particular, some writers are worldbuilders by nature and some are just not. (Tolkien would be an example of a extremely worldbuilding-focused writer.) Kishimoto is in the “just not” category.

Chakra nature is a great example of a part of the Naruto world that could be taken up to eleven. Why? Well, there’s the good old “why not” reason, which is sufficient in itself, but also, people just love categorization. There’s a reason why people always want to sort themselves for Hogwarts houses, endlessly prattle about zodiac signs, and why the Naruto databooks include bloodtype. But they don’t! Include! Chakra nature!!!!

That’s frankly ludicrous. The chakra natures in the corner merely indicate which chakra natures that person can utilize, not which is their own nature; this isn’t very helpful because some people like Kakashi can use all five. Moreover, one of the very major characters of the franchise--the anti-hero, Sasuke--is shown to be fire natured yet to largely prefer lightning techniques, making it clear that chakra nature is not 1-to-1 correlated with someone’s most frequent jutsu.

And it’s not like Kishimoto would have had to do a huge amount of work coming up with chakra nature connections to personality and society, because these five elements already exist as a powerful Japanese cultural concept. 

He simply needed to connect that to the Naruto world and its characters.

But I guess I need to do all the work around here! :3c

Regarding kekkei genkai--I headcanon that even people with kekkei genkai have a primary nature, but you could also combine two natures instead.

Earth Nature (Earth, Dirt, Stone) 地 and 土

Examples of Canon Characters: ??? (I don’t think we’re ever explicitly told that a character is earth nature, although many characters use earth release) Examples of Headcanon Characters: Haruno Sakura, Oonoki, Deidara, Suigetsu, Sasori Personality Traits (not all found in each person obviously): Stable, stubborn, inflexible, endurance, short-tempered, wise, reliable, responsible, sense of perspective, patient, centred, literal Common Body Types: Mesomorphic (muscular); may be lean or broad; shorter than average (closer to hell); blunt fingers (but often surprisingly deft and precise) Climate Interactions: Earth natured people tolerate both heat and cold pretty well. When it’s cold they dress warmly and when it’s hot they dress for that too. Sensible. Japanese symbol: square; Naruto uses the kanji 土 rather than 地 for some reason; they both mean earth and the differences are too subtle to go into briefly Why does earth dominate water/water enhance earth? Earth stops the flow of water and can control its shape. Water can imbue earth with more weight and power, including fertile power. What does this mean for the Land of Earth? “That’s the way we’re going to do it. We’ve always done it that way.” The Land of Earth in my headcanon was the last and slowest great nation to centralize/organize, however, slow and steady may win the race as it has had very little internal conflict. Other Notes: Earth nature? In my Sakura? It’s more likely than you think.

Kakashi did the chakra nature test when Sakura wasn’t around and then, as far as we can tell, never even bothered to find out what hers was???? LOLsob. Tertiary materials like games usually make Sakura water natured, but I prefer earth nature for her. She definitely can use earth jutsu. Her personality, strengths and flaws, seems to fall along earth lines rather than water lines. In addition, I just like the balance of Team 7 when Sasuke and Naruto are fire-wind and Sakura is across the circle at earth; most of my headcanon teams follow that kind of pattern.

“Okay, but Suigetsu? Earth nature? Now you’re just fucking with us.” Not at all; I’m going after one of Kishimoto’s own weird choice to constantly remind us that Suigetsu is weak to lightning. Now I’m sure that Kishimoto just meant “if lightning strikes water you’re in for a bad time” and nothing deeper than that, but in the five elements pattern of domination, it’s earth that is weak against lightning jutsu.

There’s no reason Suigetsu can’t be an earth natured person who specializes in water jutsu, anymore than Sasuke’s fire nature stops him from specializing in electric jutsu. Perhaps, and this is all headcanon but it’s fun so just try and stop me, it is Suigetsu’s earth chakra nature that helps keep his body from completely falling apart and dissipating while he’s performing his unique ability to turn into water?

Water Nature 水

Examples of Canon Characters: Tobirama Examples of Headcanon Characters: Sai, Kisame, Hashirama, Kabuto, Personality Traits: Adaptable, flexible, progressive, curious, reactive, emotional, mutable, gullible, empathic, unstable, resilient, morose, sensitive Common Body Types: Endomorphic (soft, higher in body fat); taller than average; long-limbed with flexible joints; larger hands and feet with tapered digits Climate Interactions: Poor water nature people. They hate heat. They hate cold. They hate humidity. They hate super dry environments. Basically, they are volatile and easily bothered by all kinds of things, including temperature and climate. Japanese symbol: Circle Why does water dominate fire/fire enhance water? Water douses flame, obviously. Fire can turn water into steam, expanding its range and potential. What does this mean for the Land of Water? Oh my God, is the Land of Water ever volatile in canon! This can be bad obviously (hello, kekkei genkai genocide) but it doesn’t necessarily have to be so. The Land of Water went within about a dozen years from mass genocide of kekkei genkai to having a leader with two kekkei genkai (the criminally underused Terumi Mei). There’s no inertia here. You can’t ever relax, but you can potentially really change things, including people’s hearts and minds. Other Notes: none at the moment

Fire Nature 火

Examples of Canon Characters: Sasuke, Madara, Itachi, Obito, THE UCHIHA Examples of Headcanon Characters: Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Hiruzen (aka gee I wonder if drama will happen here); Guy Personality Traits: Passionate, reforming, self-righteous, ambitious, driven, creative, focused, confident, fragile, extreme, energetic, motivated, tenacious, greedy, proud, idealistic, resentful Common Body Types: Ectomorphic (lean); high metabolism; average height; great skin and hair (because of their great circulation); either super healthy or near death, no in-between Climate Interactions: Fire people are always hot. They are the people who wear shorts all year round and start a revolution with their tiddies out (yes I’m looking at you Sasuke). They are not particularly bothered by external weather. Japanese symbol: Triangle Why does fire dominate wind/wind enhance fire? Fire consumes air and becomes stronger, like canon tells us. What does this mean for the Land of Fire? I headcanon that because of its central location on the map and prosperity, the Land of Fire has the most diverse population in terms of chakra natures, so while fire nature is the majority there are still a larger number of other natures than most countries. (From a meta perspective, this also makes it more fun to write a Konoha-centric story.) However, the Will of Fire and Konoha’s idealism is a definite Big Mood and something that other nations notice. Other Notes: I imagine that this element is most likely to be the chakra nature of those whose bloodline abilities are strongly connected with Yang Release.

Wind Nature (Wind, Air) 風

Examples of Canon Characters: Y’already know who it is!!! (blaring air horn) Oh and Asuma. Examples of Headcanon Characters: Temari, Baki, Gaara, Chiyo Personality Traits: Free-spirited, distractible, innovative, unorthodox, open, relaxed, compassionate, empathetic, benevolent, charitable, loving, evasive, passive-aggressive, impulsive, withdrawn, avoidant, penetrating Common Body Types: Lean or muscular, average to short Climate Interactions: Throw on a shirt, and then a sweatshirt over the shirt and a cloak around the sweatshirt because wind people are always cold. “Cold hands, warm heart” often applies to them. They like heat and aren’t bothered by humidity or dryness. Japanese symbol: Crescent Why does wind dominate lightning/lightning enhance wind? Well, it doesn’t, because lightning as an element makes no sense. But void, on the other hand, does. Void is a vacuum, and air rushes to fill a vacuum without itself being harmed by the vacuum. What does this mean for the Land of Wind? Wind people have a lot of openness and caring but also voted Most Likely to Sulk for a Hundred Years When Things Go Wrong. The Land of Wind in canon appears to be the least naturally rich in the essentials of life (water, food, etc), and to have the most dickish daimyo, so it’s kind of unsurprising that the Wind leadership collectively got hella depressed after their one bad idea after another failed. Other Notes: They say in canon that the wind chakra nature is “rare” but I’m headcanoning that this just means “rare in the Land of Fire”.

Lightning (Electricity, Void, Vacuum, Nothingness) 雷 or 空

Examples of Canon Characters: Kakashi Examples of Headcanon Characters: Hinata, Neji, Shikamaru, Darui, Sakumo, Killer Bee Personality Traits: Mysterious, thoughtful, reflective, fatalistic, imperturbable,  spontaneous, quick, detached, aware, intuitive, selfless, passive, negative, wise, analytical, elegant, eccentric Common Body Types: Most diversity in body type Climate Interactions: The least bothered by external temperatures. Aware of them, but probably dresses however regardless. Japanese symbol: Jewel-shape Why does lightning dominate earth/earth enhance lightning? Again, it only makes sense if the element is void or vacuum. While air filling a vacuum is essentially unharmed, earth-y substances don’t handle decompression well. (Imagine if Lightning Release could be used for explosive decompression based jutsu... now that’s scary.) What does this mean for the Land of Lightning? “We’re talking about the issues but we’re keeping it funky” is a line from Flight of the Conchords, but it is also how I imagine a culture that is majority Lightning-nature people best functioning. Other Notes: none at the moment

All of the above is just some ideas to play with! And of course there’s the pondering about how chakra nature is passed on--is it genetic? Epigenetic (traits that can be switched on or off by environmental factors)? Do two people who have children together pass on the more dominant nature? Is that perhaps why Wind nature is rarest in the Land of Fire (because Fire and Wind parents will always pass on Fire)? What are the chakra nature patterns in the little countries?

Feel free to play with my ideas, expand, change them, whatever! No need for credit if you do.

[dreadhaus-literature]

{Writing Research} Obsessives

It’s no secret I’ve got a love affair with obsession. I could dive into why that is, I’ve talked about it a few times before, but that’s not the purpose of this post. No, the purpose, the focus of this post, is to explore the nature of Obsessives, the different types there are, and to establish more of a clear cut style of obsession so that I can refer back to it for my own personal writing.

I’ve said before but I don’t often feel like I’m scratching the itch I have when I write about Obsessives. It never feels like enough, and I’m hoping the work I’m putting into this will help. Maybe it’s a sense of disorganization? I know what I want to portray, but there’s so much beneath the surface it’s like trying to fit the ocean in a paper cup. I’m constantly feeling like I’m missing things, like I’m not really conveying the desperation, the “I’ll die without you,” level of obsession that’s enjoyable for me to write and to experience as a reader. It’s important to me that I get this right. I may be writing it instead of experiencing it but I enjoy it in all capacities so it needs to be done correctly.

So let’s start with the basics.

What is an Obsessive?

An obsession is defined as “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind”. To expand on that, when I think of someone who is obsessively in love, that’s the base, the foundation. It’s a love that’s all consuming, so that even day to day interactions or routines are plagued with thoughts of the Obsessive’s desire--who I will, for the sake of clarity, be labeling “Beloved”.

I.E., an Obsessive has a Beloved, the person who is their fixation.

An Obsessive may or may not know the right way to love someone. Some are more self-aware than others, they’re aware their love might be perceived as wrong or that the lengths they’ve gone to achieve it is wrong, but that won’t stop them from obtaining their Beloved--at least, I won’t be stopping them. Some writers don’t write their Obsessives actually gaining their Beloved but I think that’s weak. This is fantasy, and it doesn’t need to be a healthy relationship. Some things that would be abuse in reality I will write about in a fantasy setting and I won’t be labeling it as abuse--don’t like it? Don’t read it. I enjoy what I enjoy and this is the only time during this entire piece that I’m going to address this.

One thing that I will be taking away from my Obsessives versus what they’re like in reality, is that in reality people who are obsessed or who stalk victims, nine times out of ten, will change their obsession if their victims moves away. I am writing Obsessives for a reason, so once they’ve got their sights on their Beloved, that’s not going to change. I liken it to a soulmate. The Obsessive is convinced, wholly and entirely, that their Beloved is the only one for them. It won’t change, no matter what. That’s part of the appeal, that there’s nothing that can change this person’s love of you. You never need to doubt or worry that a Obsessive will ever fall out out love with you; once they’ve fallen, that’s it. The only way the story will end is with the two of you together, in whatever context they can have you--and yes, I am including murder. If the only way they can have you is as a corpse, that’s how the story will end.

Before I dive into the different types of Obsessive I’ve categorized, I want to add one final note--I mentioned above that I will be writing “abusive” behavior that will not be considered abusive in my stories. To add onto that, I want it to be seen as a positive. Everything these Obsessives do is in the name of love for their Beloved and is not done to be abusive, hurtful, or mean. So if you see something, like controlling behavior, you need to step outside of reality if you find yourself questioning it or having a negative reaction to it. These aren’t being written to turn a reader off, they’re written for the opposite actually--this is meant to be enjoyed. So if you find yourself reading about these Obsessives and you’re turned off by an idea, try and ask yourself, “Are you looking at this from a reality standpoint? Are you taking this to be a negative?” Suspending disbelief is important in all types of fantasy, and that includes taboo relationships like Obsessives.

Remember, they love you. Forever and ever and ever. ♥

The Different Types of Obsessives

In my research of this particular personality trait, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are different types of Obsessives. No two are exactly alike, which bodes the question--what types are there?

I’ve broken my Obsessives down to the following eight types:

Manipulative

Possessive

Controlling

Delusional

Aggressive

Sadistic

Masochistic

Protective

This classification of Obsessives doesn’t mean a character can’t or won’t display other traits, or that they don’t fit into multiple classifications--a character may possess all Obsessive traits or fit into all classifications listed above. Really, the main purpose of splitting them up like this is just to help identify immediately what an Obsessive might do or be known for.

I.E., A Manipulative Obsessive could still also be a Sadistic and a Delusional but be classed as Manipulative because that is the first place they go to when presented with their Beloved and obstacles surrounding the potential relationship.

And don’t worry, the next section will explain these types in far more detail, so that you can kind of get a clearer understanding of where I’m coming from with these labels.

I’m a firm believer in that any character can be or do anything you want them to. If you’re keen on saying a specific character can’t or wouldn’t do something, that’s your personal hang-up, and I’m not here for it--in fact I’m here for the polar opposite, and I’ve kind of made it my mission statement to prove others wrong. I enjoy Obsessives, a lot, and so I like the thought that any character I like could be one. That’s also part of why I made this classification, because no two Obsessives are alike and that might be why you assume someone like Steve Rogers, for example, couldn’t be an Obsessive.

...Until you break down what an Obsessive actually is, and find that the Protective Obsessive fits him really well.

That’s the key here; you can have anything you want in fantasy, that’s the whole point of it, and that’s why I’m exploring these traits, these types of characters. So don’t be afraid to indulge and enjoy what’s being presented instead of telling yourself this is OOC or can’t be done. I’m here to tell you, you can make anything work if this is what you want.

It’s what I want, so here we are. ♥

Classification Descriptions

As promised, I’m going to start breaking down the description of the Obsessive classifications so it’s clear what each type is capable of or is known for. The purpose of breaking it down is so you can see that any character could be tipped to be an Obsessive--it doesn’t matter who they are, everyone has the potential to fit into these categories, because everyone is capable of anything, especially when it comes to love and the desperate need to keep it.

In each classification I’m going to cover:

Definition and Defining Adjectives

Typical Behavior

Types of Rules

Types of Punishments

Common Phrases

Danger Level

The danger level of Obsessives means the danger toward their Beloved and will range from Minor, Moderate, Considerable, and High. No Obsessive will come with a “no danger” label as at the root of obsession there is always a chance for danger to present itself. It’s only a question of how much and what each Obsessive’s trigger is. The danger level also does not mean if an Obsessive category is ranked “Minor” that a particular Obsessive may not be extremely dangerous.

I.E. - Protective Obsessives are ranked as “Minor” in terms of danger, but a Protective Obsessive within that category may be extremely dangerous. The classification itself is ranked lower as they are generally only dangerous to the outside world and not their Beloved, but that may vary depending on the particular Obsessive.

Danger levels are always reflective of the Obsessive’s danger toward their Beloved; any Obsessive should be considered dangerous to anyone who threatens their Beloved or their perceived happiness with their Beloved.

Period.

Manipulatives

Manipulation is defined as “the act of manipulating someone in a skillful manner,” or “the action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way.” - It’s important to remember this when you’re taking a look at a Manipulative Obsessive. This is the foundation, the basis for what type of Obsessive they are

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Manipulative would be Lonely and Clingy

These two traits tend to exacerbate their behavior and they can also trigger their obsessive tendencies; for example, if their Beloved pays them the slightest hint of attention or affection, as it is a “fix” for their loneliness or calls to their clingyness

Manipulatives arguably contain or can contain all the other classifications easily, meaning you’re most likely to notice manipulative tendencies no matter what classification you’re looking at

They may also have a higher success rate of actually landing their Beloved, as their methods are somewhat hard to divert or spot

As you may expect, Manipulatives are known for emotionally manipulating their Beloved to gain their desired outcome--which is first and foremost always going to be landing their Beloved for themselves

Things are often posed as a question, to help it seem more reasonable, or to distract from what is actually being asked

I.E. - “Can you please stop going out with your friend so much? It isn’t safe and I’m worried about you, sweetheart. They can’t protect you like I can.”

Some Manipulatives may not know they are actually manipulating; if they’re also Delusional, for example, they will simply believe what they’re doing is for the best, no matter how it’s achieved

Others will know what they’re doing and won’t care, because in the end it’s about their Beloved and no matter what, as long as they’re safe and with the Obsessive...then it’s meant to be

This type of Obsessive will never see what they’re doing as wrong, whether they’re aware of their manipulation or not

Manipulatives will often ask questions that are not rhetorical, as they desire verbal confirmation of what they’re asking

Actions may speak louder than words but if their Beloved is unwilling, then they’ll take the words even if the actions don’t match

Manipulatives, it should also be noted, will be prone to doing things like bribery for affection

I.E. - They’ll take your phone or your laptop, or they’ll take a favorite stuffed animal, and they’ll give it back if you give them a kiss, or they’ll let you go outside if you tell them you love them

These Obsessives will put themselves in the Victim role, but not in the traditional way; meaning, if you refuse what they ask, they’re hurt by your rejection and they’re confused by it, as they’re only trying to help, to do what’s best for you

I.E. - “Why are you upset? I was trying to help you, honey.”

I.E. - “Can’t you see I’m doing this for us?”

They are not above using guilt to get what they want, be it affection or really anything from their Beloved

Manipulatives, it should be noted, never set out to genuinely make their Beloved feel bad or to actually make them sad or upset--that would devastate them, to be honest, as they feel what they’re doing is to make their Beloved happy

They are just desperate to make their Beloved happy and feel they know the best way to do so

In terms of rules, Manipulatives will most likely be known for enforcing rules that limit who their Beloved talks to and interacts with, where they go and with who, and if a Manipulative has a particular trigger (such as separation anxiety) that will most assuredly come with a rule

As far as punishments go, Manipulatives run the gammot of whether or not they’ll be strict or lenient, and it honestly varies depending on the particular Manipulative

Beloveds of Sadistic Manipulatives should be careful, as that will take the emotional manipulation up to a 10, alongside physical punishments like spanking or being gagged or restrained

Beloveds of Masochistic Manipulatives, alternatively, will have to deal with a Manipulative who mopes, pouts, or constantly seeks reassurance that they were doing the right thing--which may seem punishment enough for a Beloved who has to give of themself to make the Obsessive feel better

Common phrases of Manipulative Obsessives include:

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

“I’ll die without you. I mean it, I will.”

“Tell me what to do to make you love me?”

“You know you’re mine, don’t you?”

“It hurts me when you pull away from me like that, baby.”

“Is it really so hard to love me back?”

“If you give me a kiss, I’ll give you your phone back.”

“Can’t you say ‘I love you’? Just once? Please?”

Danger Level: Moderate

Possessive

Possessive is defined as “demanding someone's total attention and love.” - That’s the easiest way to learn what makes a Possessive Obsessive

The two adjectives I would use to describe a Possessive would be Insecure and Distrustful

Possessives are often just distrusting of the environment around their Beloved but it is worth noting if a Possessive is also a Manipulative, they may pose questions to try and get their Beloved to cut ties with someone they’re threatened by

I.E. - “You say you don’t love them more than me...but you hang out with them so much. Prove you love me more and delete them from your phone.”

Most Possessives will never outright accuse their Beloved of cheating, and if they do, they don’t mean it--it’s a tactic to get their Beloved to do what they want by guilt-tripping them

Possessives and Protectives are extremely similar Obsessives; they share a lot of the same traits--the difference really comes from how those traits manifest themselves, and that distinction is also what makes Possessives and Controlling Obsessives extremely similar

Possessives will be the most prone, alongside the Protectives, to insist upon living together with their Beloved as soon as they can convince them to do so--but make no mistake, they want it immediately

This comes from wanting to be able to control who is around their Beloved, and ensuring the Possessive gets the majority of their time

A Possessive will not be happy living separately from their Beloved, period

Possessives are also the most prone to stalking their Beloved, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship-- that’s very likely how the relationship began

The Beloved will likely not know how long the Possessive has been stalking them, unless the Possessive admits it--and if the Possessive also has Manipulative tendencies that itself may be a little white lie, depending on what the Possessive is trying to get out of their Beloved

Possessives are incredibly controlling, especially when it comes to the relationships their Beloved is allowed to have

If a Possessive is also Manipulative on top of Controlling, they may be exceptionally gifted at subverting their Beloved’s time and attention from other people in their Beloved’s life

If they aren’t Manipulative, they will simple demand attention--and expect to get it

“If I can’t have you, no one can.”

It’s not just a cutesy saying, it’s the truth; Possessives have jealousy issues and the more extreme they are, or if they’re pushed or can’t openly claim their Beloved, the more dangerous they’re going to be about it

Rules of Possessives are exactly what you would expect; they control who their Beloved talks to, for how long, where they go, and it’s extremely likely a Possessive will insist their Beloved does not go anywhere without them--and they’re likely not going to be allowed to go out with anyone without the Possessive present

Rules may vary from Possessive to Possessive, but you can pretty much be guaranteed it will always include controlling time and attention so that they get the majority of it. That’s always going to be the end goal

No matter how much attention they get, it is never going to be enough

Punishments from Possessives will likely always include some form of Marking; bruising, biting, cutting, burning, branding--you name it, if it leaves a mark, they’re going to be fine with it

The more Sadistic a Possessive, the deeper and more permanent these markings will be, and a true Sadistic Possessive will scar their Beloved to ensure their claim is respected

If a Possessive leans more toward the Protective side, their marks may not scar but they will be prominently displayed and there won’t be any covering them up--and you will not be out of their sight anytime soon

Common Phrases of Possessive Obsessives include:

“I love you.” (This is said often, multiple times a day, vocally or via text, whether their Beloved responds or reciprocates the feelings or not)

“You don’t get to leave me.”

“Stop talking to them so much.”

“Pay attention to me.”

“Where are you going? I’m coming with you or you’re not going.”

“If you don’t want them to die, you’ll stop talking to them.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Tell me you love me more than them.”

“Don’t you dare think of leaving me. I love you.”

“You belong to me.”

“I feel so afraid when I see you with others. I won’t let them take you away from me.”

“If you don’t stop covering my marks, I’m going to start scarring you.”

“You think I’m jealous right now? Keep talking to them and see how much more jealous I can get.”

Danger Level: Considerable

Controlling

Controlling is defined as, “inclined to control others' behavior.” - That’s about as cut and dry as you can get when it comes to describing Controlling Obsessives

The two adjectives that most describe Controlling Obsessives are Domineering and Protective

Controlling and Possessive Obsessives are very similar and share a lot of the same traits, and while the same could be said of Controlling and Protectives, they way they go about things differ and that distinction is what’s important

Controlling Obsessives may best be descried as a mixture of Possessive and Protective, with the addition that they will go to extremes to secure their Beloved’s safety and attention

Controlling Obsessives also monopolize their Beloved’s time and who they spend it with, and this is both because of possessive tendencies and because they believe they know what’s best for their Beloved--even more than their Beloved would

Controlling Obsessives will isolate their Beloved from others if they feel threatened, and unlike some other Obsessives they won’t feel remorse for doing it, even if their Beloved gets upset or angry over it

They know what’s best--period

They will also use threats if they need to, to get a point across or to get the end result they want--but it’s never threats against their Beloved and they don’t see it as doing anything wrong

Controlling Obsessives tell. They don’t ask.

They will require constant access to their Beloved’s possessions and that does mean their phone, computer, social media; all to monitor who is in their Beloved’s life and what is being said to their Beloved

If they do not like someone or the way someone speaks to their Beloved, not only will they insist their Beloved cease contact but they’ll handle it themselves...and depending on the Obsessive, that may or may not involve loss of life

They are extremely jealous, of anyone and everyone, regardless of the reality of the relationship with their Beloved and at times it will bleed into paranoia and they will become fearful of losing their Beloved

When this happens, their threats will increase, and their Beloved will notice a ramp up in their overall Controlling behavior; they’ll lose access to other people and will have to spend all their time with their Obsessive until the feelings pass or are appeased

Controlling Obsessives set the same type of rules you would expect from a Possessive or Protective; limits on who their Beloved interacts with, where they go and with who, and there is a strict restriction on freedom.

It’s a pretty big deal if the Controlling Obsessive lets their Beloved do anything alone and I’d caution the Beloved against getting used to it

Broken rules will result in the same sort of punishments as Possessives or Protectives; marking, bondage/restriction, the loss of privileges like a phone or access to social media, etc.

It’s important to circle back to that Controlling Obsessives are not in this to hurt their Beloved; they simply know best and won’t listen to their Beloved or be swayed

Common Phrases of Controlling Obsessives include:

“Until you learn who really loves you, you’re staying here.”

“Better get used to giving me your phone when I ask for it, sweetheart.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“You aren’t wearing that out of the house unless I’m going with you.”

“I need you and you need me. Say it.”

“Do as I say or next time this’ll be worse.”

“Behave yourself.”

“I’m doing this for us.”

“What have I told you about talking to them? You’ll only have yourself to blame if something happens to them.”

“No, I’m not giving you your laptop back. If you want it, come sit on my lap and use it. Or be without it.”

“I don’t like it when you say things like that. Take it back.”

Danger Level: Moderate

Delusional

Delusional is defined as “a persistent, false psychotic belief regarding persons outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary.“ - Are you noticing a pattern here? This is the perfect way to get your foot in the door with understanding a Delusional Obsessive

The two defining adjectives of a Delusional Obsessive would be Affectionate and Devoted

The first thing to understand about Delusionals is that they range a little on what they may believe. I maintain there are two types of Delusionals:

I.E. - Type A Delusionals believe they and their Beloved are soulmates but does not perpetuate the belief they are already in a relationship

I.E.- Type B Delusionals believe, no matter the evidence to the contrary (refer back to the definition) that their Beloved already loves them and is in a relationship with them

Because both Type A and Type B Delusionals have a “blind spot” when it comes to their Beloved, they may exhibit different levels of delusion, such as not understanding they fabricated an entire relationship, or they may exaggerate normal gestures as grand gestures of love

I.E. - A Type A Delusional may be aware they’re not currently in a relationship with their Beloved, but their Beloved smiled at them today and wished them a nice day, so that confirmed they’re soulmates and they’re destined to be together

To an outsider, the minor act of, “Hope you have a nice day!” is simply a polite gesture, but to the Delusional it’s far, far more than that.

Any show of kindness or affection is going to be off the scales important and just confirms what they already know to be true

Alternatively, a Type B Delusional will not understand they made up an entire relationship. It does not matter what evidence they’re given to the contrary, you could sit them down and explain it to them repeatedly and it will not penetrate that blind spot

Same as the sky is blue and the ocean is wet, their Beloved loves them and is in a relationship with them

It’s also important to note that Delusionals will not exhibit their delusional behavior in any other aspect of their life with the exception of their Beloved--who is essentially their trigger

Delusionals are both equally rare (Type B’s are exceedingly rare) and common (Type A’s are fairly commonplace) as a person may not know they’re Delusional until they encounter their Beloved, their trigger

Delusionals won’t understand or even register their Beloved’s lack of affection or their rejection

It isn’t that they don’t understand the word “No,’ it’s that their Beloved is just nervous!

No matter what evidence the Delusional is presented with it will not change their mind

A Type B Delusional, who already perceives themselves in a relationship with their Beloved will perceive any negative emotion or behavior from their Beloved as “nerves” or “shyness”

I.E. - You don’t want to kiss because you’re shy!

I.E. - You don’t want to move in together yet because you’re just a little scared!

This won’t deter them, however; they’ll either unknowingly manipulate to get what they want or will continually, patiently wear their Beloved down

A Type A Delusional, who believes their Beloved is their soulmate but hasn’t fabricated a relationship will be much the same way--patient, but unyielding

Any negative emotion or rejection will still be perceived as “nerves”, as finding a soulmate can be a scary experience!

Don’t worry, they’ll be there for you while you adjust to the idea of being together forever

Out of all the Obsessive types, Delusionals will have the most common rules that seem to encompass all Obsessives; they want your love and attention, and they won’t take kindly to anyone else trying to intrude

They won’t knowingly set these rules or behaviors, as Delusionals don’t see themselves as anything other than in the right, behaving as they should with their soulmate, but you’ll know if you cross a line

Punishments will depend heavily on the type of Delusional; if they’re heavy-handed they may be physical, including restraints or marking, but if they’re more into verbal punishments you may find yourself being guilted into giving up time with others to give your Obsessive what they need to feel better

Common Phrases of Delusional Obsessives include:

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“Don’t be shy, sweetheart! We love each other.”

“Why are you upset? You’re supposed to give your lover gifts.”

“Why aren’t you smiling? Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Why do you always lock your bedroom door? You can’t keep me out, silly girl/boy.”

“Where are you going? Can I come? Let me come with you.”

“It doesn’t matter where you go, what you do. I’ll always be able to find you. I will always find you.”

“We’re meant to be together, baby.”

“I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.”

Danger Level: Considerable

One final note: Unlike the rest of the Obsessives, it’s important to note Delusionals pose an almost equal level threat between their Beloved and outsiders, as this is a psychotic condition that skews right from wrong. They never set out to actually hurt their Beloved, but the danger is present in that they may not understand the difference between right and wrong

Aggressive

Aggression is defined as “a forceful action or procedure (such as an unprovoked attack) especially when intended to dominate or master.” - It’s really important you pay close attention to these Obsessives...because they mean business

The two adjectives I use to describe Aggressives are Forceful and Demanding

Out of all the Obsessives, Aggressives could be argued to be the most dangerous overall as they are without a doubt the most bold

Everything regarding their Beloved amps them up to a 10 immediately, be it jealousy or the need to “protect” their Beloved from...everything

These Obsessives will say or do whatever they feel is best and while this may cause problems with their Beloved...it’ll be okay because they know best

Like Sadistic Obsessives, these Obsessives are heavy-handed and will not hesitate to strong-arm their way into their Beloved’s life, or strong-arm people out of it

As far as Aggressives are concerned, nothing is off-limits; they deserve to have access to their Beloved and they can and will do whatever they need to do to get it

If an Aggressive is stalking their Beloved, their Beloved will be aware it’s happening, because the Aggressive will be blatant about it

I.E. - Coming home to find notes in their home left by the Aggressive, or even finding the Aggressive still in their home

Anything that’s done will never actually be against their Beloved, of course...but any outsider straying too close to their Beloved better be damn careful

Aggressives will absolutely attack or kill (depending on the Aggressive) anyone who threatens their Beloved and/or their relationship with their Beloved

Despite their forceful nature, Aggressives really do love their Beloved and will treat them lovingly; even punishments that may result in the Aggressive turning on their Beloved will be done with love, as they believe they’re doing it for their Beloved

The only exception to this is that unlike Delusionals, if their Beloved continues to refuse them, fight them, or provoke their jealousy, Aggressives will make good on, “If I can’t have you, no one can.”

Aggressives also have the least control out of all Obsessives and their Beloved definitely needs to be careful and keep that in the back of their mind

When Aggressives say, “Forever,” ...they mean it

Rules will vary depending on the Aggressive, but considering every emotion they have with their Beloved is amped up so high, anything to do with jealousy or outsiders is going to be a no-no in their rulebook

Their Beloved can expect to watch their step and should expect controlling behavior, especially if the Aggressive feels threatened or is feeling particularly needy that day

Punishments are exactly what you’d expect from this type of Obsessive; they’re almost always physical and almost always of the bruising/scarring variety

Beloveds should not expect apologies, either, because this Obsessive loves you and is only doing this to prove it to you; if you’d behaved, this wouldn’t be happening, would it?

Common Phrases of Aggressive Obsessives include:

“If you’d stop making so much noise, I’ll stop being so rough. It’s just, you sound so fucking pretty when you cry, so I can’t...really help myself.”

“You belong to me. Test me or make me prove it and I’ll carve it into your perfect fucking skin.”

“Do not tell me no.”

“I’ll let you out when you tell me you love me.”

“You think you’ve seen me jealous? Oh, baby, you haven’t seen jealous. Not yet, anyway.”

“If you try to run away from me again I’m going to break your fucking legs, baby.”

“What did I tell you about talking to other people?”

“If you keep refusing to speak to me, I’m going to make it so you’ll never speak again.”

“If you look at them again, I’ll kill them and make you watch.”

“No, I won’t let go. Not until you say, ‘I love you,’ back.”

“If I can’t have you, no one will.”

Danger Level: High

Sadistic

Sadistic is defined as “taking pleasure in the infliction of pain, punishment, or humiliation on others.” - These Obsessives almost speak for themselves, really

The two defining adjectives for Sadistics shouldn’t surprise anyone; they’re Cruel and Selfish

Sadistic Obsessives, like Aggressives, toe a line when it comes to their Beloved and the extremes they’ll go for them--and like Aggressives they will cross it and they’ll enjoy it

Unlike some Obsessives, who may not enjoy when their Beloved shrinks back or seems uncomfortable, Sadistics bask in anything they can get

Negative reinforcement is still reinforcement as far as they’re concerned, because it means they’re getting to their Beloved and in the end, that’s all an Obsessive wants--attention

They will not listen to objections, the words, “No,” or “Stop,” and pleading will only excite them further

They also won’t necessarily see these negative actions as “harmful” to their Beloved, as their Beloved is theirs to do with as they please, to love as they please and this is how they love

Sadistics will likely have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives, as they enjoy inflicting pain and seeing their Beloved suffer for rule-breaking

These Obsessives live for tears and begging, and they are extremely adept at getting what they want

Beloveds of Sadistic, Manipulative Obsessives should buckle up, as they’re in for a real rough time of it

Sadistics are the most prone to force--they will rape their Beloved, either for the enjoyment of humiliating their Beloved or because their Beloved keeps denying them

Denying a Sadistic only feeds their desire, like fanning flames. If you’re not careful, you’ll build them into a frenzy you’ll have trouble walking away from

It’s important to note that Sadistics’s interest won’t wane once they have their Beloved broken in

Expect the opposite; now they fully own their “toy” and can break them as much as they want and it’s akin to falling in love all over again

Sadistics are known for offering hope only to take it away, or with-holding things until their Beloved is reliant upon them for it, like food or personal belongings

Sadistics may enjoy either physical or emotional pain--or both

These Obsessives are no less loving than others, however, and are most prone to marking or branding their Beloved to prove this love and devotion

Their love is claiming and it definitely means forever

The more broken in a Beloved, the more scarred or submissive, the more in love the Sadistic, so fortunately or unfortunately for the Beloved, the more time spent with the Sadistic just means the more in love they’ll fall

Sadistics will set the same standard sort of rules for most Obsessives (controlling who their Beloved speaks to, where they go, who they’re with, etc), but be aware--they may set ridiculous rules or will not tell their Beloved all their rules in the hopes that their Beloved will step out of line and they’ll be able to punish them

Sadistics live for punishments

And as mentioned above, Sadistics are going to have the most violent punishments out of all Obsessives; they are going to come down hard and with intent to bruise, to mark, to scar, to rip and tear and they’re biting to break skin every single time

As Sadistics are not afraid to force, they are fine to prove their devotion to their Beloved through violent, painful means, and this can also include forced orgasm/milking, claiming their Beloved publicly or in front of someone the Sadistic is jealous of, or marking their Beloved in a way they cannot hope to hide

Common phrases of Sadistic Obsessives include:

 “I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you’d only behave.”

“If you ever stop loving me, I’ll kill you who you love instead...and still take you back.”

“Stay still. I want your make-up perfect before I ruin it.”

“Beg. Beg me to stop.”

“This is why I punish you, baby. You have to learn.”

“What did I say about covering my marks? Do I need to make them permanent?”

“You’re just so fucking beautiful when you cry.”

“One day I’m going to kill you, sweetheart. For no other reason than you’re mine.”

“Call them. I’m going to fuck you while you’re on the phone with them so they know you’re mine.”

“You like when I hurt you, don’t you? Yes you do, I can feel how wet/hard you are.”

“M-I-N-E. Look, baby, carved right into your tummy. Now you’ll never forget.”

Danger Level: High

Masochistic

Masochistic is defined as “deriving sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation.” - Like Sadistics, these Obsessives mildly speak for themselves

The two defining adjectives of Masochistics are Desperate and Needy

This, straight away, paints a pretty clear picture of the type of Obsessive a Masochistic is; they are desperate for any sort of attention they can get from their Beloved...and I do mean any attention

Masochistic Obsessives are exactly what one might be expecting; they are the polar opposite of Sadistic Obsessives, and share very similar traits with Manipulatives

In keeping with being the opposite of Sadistics, Masochistics derive pleasure from their Beloved rejecting them or treating them poorly

Some Masochistics really get off on being humiliated by their Beloved--

I.E. - “Why would I ever be with someone like you?”

This may have to do with the Obsessive’s poor self-esteem, or it may simply be a sexual interest of theirs; this will depend on the individual Masochistic--but it’s always, always enjoyed

Others enjoy repeated rejections of any sort, almost taking them as acceptances because their Beloved is making them feel good

How could it not be a match made in heaven when their Beloved knows exactly how to treat them?

One parallel that Masochistics do share with Sadistics is that they’re completely fine with making their Beloved uncomfortable

Not only do they not mind if their Beloved is uncomfortable, but they’ll push their limit if they feel it will earn them either affection...or worse

Negative reinforcement may as well be positive for these Obsessives; their Beloved’s really will have a tough time because whether they’re sweet or mean, the Masochistic will enjoy it

Masochistics openly enjoy mistreatment of any sort; this includes physical or otherwise

Yes, that does mean striking these Obsessives or fighting them excites them further

There really is no wrong way to love these Obsessives...and no real way to reject them either

Like Sadistics, once their Beloved is theirs, the Masochistic Obsessive will simply evolve into a healthy S&M relationship with their Beloved

Masochistics will only grow more enamored when their Beloved gives in, as it feeds into their desperate and needy personalities, and really the end goal for them has always been their Beloved’s love and affection

Rules for Masochistics will be the same as you would expect for other Obsessives; Masochistics may be into pain of all sorts but they’re not going to tolerate someone else moving in on their Beloved, so you’ll still need to mind your P’s and Q’s around them

Depending on what other traits a Masochistic displays, they may be extra strict and controlling, and if they’re possessive they won’t hesitate to give you marks to match the ones they’ve given themselves in your honor

Punishments from Masochistics will be unique; if they have Sadistic or Controlling tendencies their Beloved should expect that to come out to play, but if they’re solely Masochistic, their Beloved will have to deal with an Obsessive who will harm themselves to prove a point

Self-harm and self-mutilation are done both as punishments to get their Beloved to behave, and also done as a reward for the Masochistic...sadly for their Beloved, it’s a win-win for the Obsessive

Common phrases of Masochistic Obsessives include:

“If you’re mad at me...If it will make you smile, you can hit me.”

“I love you so much it hurts.”

“It’s okay if you hate me. I still love you.”

“I like when you bite me when we kiss, sweetheart.”

“I carved your name into my arm. See how much I love you? Now I’m yours forever and the whole world will know it!”

“I’ll tell you I love you until my throat bleeds.”

“You can be mad at me, it’s okay, but I have to kiss you.”

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“I like when you tell me you hate me.”

“Fight me all you want. It feels good when you do.”

“No one will ever love you like I love you. I can prove it.”

Danger Level: Minor

Protective

Protective is defined as, “to cover or shield from injury, damage, or destruction.” - As with the other definitions, this is the best place to start when classifying Protectives

The two defining adjectives for Protectives are Caring and Possessive

The last of the Obsessives in the classification list may be the most common of them all--right alongside Possessives, whom they share  great deal of traits with

However, unlike almost all the other Obsessive types, Protectives have clear lines they will never cross when it comes to their Beloved

Protectives’ entire stance as Obsessives comes from an overwhelming need to keep their Beloved safe, and while they will never endanger their Beloved as a result of that...they will exert control if they need to

As with Manipulatives, Protectives show many of the same common traits with the other Obsessive types, with the sole exception that they won’t go to extremes with anything to do with their Beloved’s health

First and foremost, their Beloved’s health and safety rank above everything else--and that does include their happiness, as Protectives are under the belief that they can’t be happy if they aren’t healthy and safe

With that being said, this also makes Protectives prone to kidnapping and confining their Beloved to a single room or the Obsessive’s home for their Beloved’s own “safety”

Some Protectives will ask their Beloved to move in with them and will only resort to kidnapping if their Beloved refuses the offer, but others will simply act on what they know is best, if they can’t get their Beloved to agree to move in immediately

Like Possessives, Protectives will not be happy, nor will they be able to function properly if they are living separately from their Beloved

They will obsessively stalk their Beloved, spending hours and hours of their day watching over them to ensure their safety, and will monitor their social media--this includes cloning their Beloved’s phone or stealing their laptop to maintain a constant, present vigil in their lives

Like most other Obsessives, Protectives do not see what they’re doing as wrong, no matter what evidence is given to them in the contrary

You are so small and weak, so fragile, you’re not safe in the world without them!

They love their Beloved and the world is a dangerous, scary place; they are terrified at the thought of something happening to you to the point it will give them nightmares

That’s why they need you close, so they can be reassured nothing will happen to you and you’ll be theirs forever

This fear can make the Protective extremely controlling and coupled with their possessive tendencies this can lead to a massive reduction in personal space and freedom

While it is true, Protectives will never hurt their Beloved...they will absolutely hurt or even kill others for their Beloved

The single, smallest slight against their Beloved will amp them up to a 100 real quick, and depending on the Protective, will result in anything ranging from the offender’s life being ruined publicly, financially, or simply snuffed out

Beloveds of Protectives will have to be extremely careful with their words, because something that may not have bothered them at all may sound like the end of the world to their Protective, and the following day the Beloved’s life may be down one person

Out of all the Obsessives, with the exception of Controlling Obsessives, Protectives are going to have the most rules, but they’ll be expressly clear about them

These rules will range from not leaving the house without them, a time limit where their Beloved must answer their text messages, who they’re allowed to text in the first place, requiring their phone location being turned on 24/7, being extremely strict with meal times and ensuring their Beloved is eating enough...etc.

Punishments from Protectives will be no less severe simply because of the Protective’s stance on never harming their Beloved--if their Beloved isn’t adhering to the rules being set, then they’re putting their own life at risk

Protectives won’t accept that, not even from their Beloved

Punishments will typically be non-physical, but a corrective spanking or a bondage restriction may come into play depending on what rules were broken

Punishments will usually be verbal corrections and the Protective will expect an apology, as they’re doing what they’re doing for their Beloved and they’re doing it out of love

Common phrases of Protective Obsessives include:

“I really don’t wanna hurt you, baby, so please don’t struggle.”

“I know you thought they were your friend but...I didn’t trust them. They had to go, I couldn’t let them hurt you, could I?”

“I’ll lock you up and throw away the goddamn key if you ever do something that dangerous ever again.”

“You will do what I say. It’s for your own good.”

“You know better than to leave the house without me, honey.”

“Be good for me, baby. I don’t want to have to see your tears again.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.”

“If they hurt you, they’re dead. You hear me, baby? Dead.”

“I just want us to be happy together. I can’t let anyone get in the way of that. You understand, don’t you?”

‘‘No, you can’t go back, baby. This is your home now. You’re safe here. You’ll see.”

“I’m doing this because I love you. You know that, don’t you? I love you so much.”

Danger Level: Minor

Conclusion

Could a post like this really have an end? Maybe conclusion isn’t the right word, because now that this door is open...there’s a whole world of possibilities waiting for me on the other side.

And I’m honestly so excited about that. This research was so much fun to do, and as I mentioned, my whole purpose for doing this was to be able to take anyone in FL and apply this to them, because it’s something I enjoy and believe should be enjoyed.

So where to go from here? Well, I already have a couple ideas; one, is to go through and list some examples in a follow-up post, listing different Family members that could suit each of these classifications, to provide further example of not only the application of this post, but that my model for these being able to suit anyone actually working.

I also opened the floor for Monica to add onto this as she saw fit, and that includes being able to send me names and requests, love--like you want to see Peter Parker as a Manipulative Obsessive. So if you have any requests or questions, love, you feel free to interact with this post as much as you want. I really want this to be the start of something, not the end of something, and I’m always happy to share everything with you! ♥

Keep an eye out for this to start making a more prominent appearance in my writing, too. Which, honestly, probably deserves the devil emoji because I have asked Bunny lots of questions about what she’s okay with and what she likes...so yeah.

Consider this door open and Mama’s about to start unleashing some demons.

[twentysixcount]

20 Paradoxes that are true.

Some of the most important truths in life are contradictory on the surface. They seem like impossibilities, yet experience proves them to be obvious over and over again. It isn’t until you look a bit deeper, beneath the surface contradictions, that the real grains of wisdom emerge.

Below are 20 paradoxes which are, paradoxically, still true:

1. The more you hate a trait in someone else, the more likely you are avoiding it in yourself. Carl Jung believed that characteristics in others that bother us are reflections of the parts of ourselves which we deny. Freud referred to it as “projection.” Most people call it “being an asshole.” For example, the woman who is insecure about her weight will call everyone else fat. The man who’s insecure about his money will criticize others for theirs.

2. People who can’t trust, can’t be trusted. People who are chronically insecure in their relationships are more likely to sabotage them. Call it the Good Will Hunting syndrome, but one way people protect themselves from getting hurt is by hurting others first.

3. The more you try to impress people, the less impressed they’ll be. Nobody likes a try-hard.

4. The more you fail, the more likely you are to succeed. Insert inspirational famous person quote here. You’ve probably heard many of them. Edison tried over 10,000 prototypes before getting the lightbulb right. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team. Success comes from improvement and improvement comes from failure. There’s no shortcut around it.

5. The more something scares you, the more you should probably do it. With the exception of genuinely life-threatening or physically harmful activities, our fight-or-flight response kicks in when we’re confronted with past traumas or actualizing the self we dream of being. For instance: speaking to an attractive person, cold-calling someone to get a new job, public speaking, starting a business, saying something controversial, being painfully honest with somebody, etc., etc. These are all things that make you scared, and they make you scared because they are something which should be done.

6. The more afraid you are of death, the less you’ll be able to enjoy life. Or as one of my favorite quotes puts it, “Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

7. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know. The old Socrates adage. Every time you gain a greater understanding, it creates even more questions than it solves. My man Socrates dropping some knowledge bombs about the uncertainty of knowledge. He knew what was up.

8. The less you care about others, the less you care about yourself. I know this may go against every perception you’ve ever had of a self-serving asshole. But people treat people the way they treat themselves. It may not be apparent on the outside, but people who are cruel to the people around them are cruel to themselves.

9. The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel. Despite being in more constant communication than ever, research finds an increase in narcissism, loneliness and depression in the developed world over the past few decades.

10. The more you’re afraid to fail, the more likely you are to fail. See: self-fulfilling prophecy.

11. The harder you push for something, the harder it will feel to achieve. When we expect something to be difficult, we often unconsciously make it more difficult. For instance, for years, I assumed starting a conversation with a stranger was something that was highly abnormal and therefore “difficult.” As a result, I spent a lot of time strategizing and studying ways to relate to people I didn’t know. Little did I realize all I had to do was say, “Hi” and then ask a simple question, and that would get me 90% of the way there. But because it felt hard, I proceeded to make it hard for myself.

12. The more available something is, the less you will want it. Humans have a strong scarcity bias. We unconsciously assume things that are scarce are valuable and things that are abundant are not. This is not the case.

13. The best way to meet someone else is to not need to be with someone else. The defining theme of my book on dating was non-neediness and how that plays out in our relationships. The fact remains that the best way to find a sexual relationship — committed or otherwise — is by not needing a sexual relationship to be happy and investing more in yourself.

14. The more honest you are about your faults, the more people will think you’re perfect. The amazing thing about vulnerability is the more comfortable you are about not being that great, the more people will think you are.

15. The more you try to keep someone close, the further away you’ll push them. This is the argument against jealousy in relationships: once actions or feelings become obligations they lose all meaning. If your girlfriend feels obligated to spend her weekends with you, then the time you spend together has become meaningless.

16. The more you try to argue with someone, the less likely you are to convince them of your perspective. The reason for this is that most arguments are emotional in nature. They come from someone’s values or self-perceptions being violated. Logic is only used to validate those pre-existing beliefs and values. It’s rarely about the objective or logical truth as much as it is repairing people’s worldviews. For any real debate to truly exist, both parties must be making an honest concession to put their egos aside and only deal with the data. This is rare, as anyone who’s spent any time on an internet forum could tell you.

17. The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with each one. The old “paradox of choice.” Research shows that when we’re presented with MORE options, we become LESS satisfied with any particular one we go with. The theory is that when we have so many options, we have greater opportunity costs to selecting each particular one; therefore, we’re less happy with our decision.

18. The more convinced someone is that they’re right, the less they probably know. There’s a direct correlation between how open a person is to differing perspectives and how much that person actually knows about any given subject. Or as the philosopher Bertrand Russell once said: “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

19. The only certainty is that nothing is ever certain. This realization almost made my head explode when I was

20. The only constant is change. One of those little banal statements that feels really profound but doesn’t actually mean anything. But it’s still true!

Repost from the UG**

[orangedodge]

Instead of flooding my blog with a deluge KH posts, I figured I'd do just one in-depth one about the end reveal.  

At least until the next trailer comes out, and my inner nine year old breaks out once again.

So despite Nomura's limitations as a writer, and his occasional technical naivete, I've always been a bit surprised that he's never really given his due as a director. He has good storytelling instincts, and can be skilled at framing information on screen to highlight what he wants, while making his audience ignore what he doesn't want them to pay attention to. His team can also cut a trailer very well. The 2.8 trailers were masterful at presenting actual spoilers, but framed within an artificial context that hid their meaning, and led to the audience anticipating story beats that did not actually exist. The respective natures of Aced and Gula as people, in particular, was something he was highly successful at concealing.

E3 trailer spoilers below the cut

The first E3 trailer drop, which I think we're calling the "Frozen" trailer, reminds me a lot of what he did last time, with those 2.8 trailers. The reveal at the end, and it's implication that Aqua is now evil, is driven by two lines,

SORA - "I wont let her fall to darkness"

and

AQUA - "You're too late"

The combination is framed to suggest that it's specifically too late for Aqua, but as these lines occur in two entirely different scenes, and this structure is unlikely to be preserved in the actual game, the thematic bridge they create is an artificial one. It's unknown what the full context of each scene actually is, particularly the latter scene with Mickey, Aqua, and Riku. Instead, Aqua's lines are being set up with by potentially false context by Sora.

What actually happens in that scene? I think the position of landmarks, and the continuity in way the scene is lit, is sufficient to establish that it most likely takes place within the same span of time as the previous trailer's Riku and Mickey scene, in which Riku's Way to Dawn Keyblade was broken.

By combining the two Riku scenes, I would posit that the chain of events is as follows: Riku and Mickey arrive at the Dark Margin > Aqua attacks them in her new shadow form > Mickey is disarmed, and Riku's Keyblade broken > Aqua stops fighting and reveals herself > Aqua picks up Mickey's Keyblade.

If the line "This Keyblade..." is native to that scene, and not something that was simply placed out of context in the trailer to create false context (a trick Nomura used with Phantom Aqua's dialogue in the 2.8 trailers), then it could be possible that she didn't recognize her opponents until she saw that Keyblade. Either way, I believe it's likely that she fought them until they were both disarmed, whereupon she stopped, and revealed herself to them.

Two things grabbed my attention,

Is breaking Way to Dawn, the Keyblade with one of Xehanort's creepy time-travel spy eyes (that we've been warned about), actually an inherently aggressive act? She appears to have been completely shrouded/cloaked in darkness, if not actually invisible (if that was a Red Eyes effect Mickey was under), when she arrived. Assuming that the two Riku clips are in fact one continuous scene, than it seems as though she didn't let them see her until that Keyblade was out of the way.

Why pick up Mickey's Keyblade? It was established ages ago that a Keyblade can't be stolen from its wielder, so unless that's being retconned, I don't see why she'd benefit from picking it up unless to demonstrate to them that she's still capable of doing so. And that's being done in a state where she's not just possessed by darkness, but seems to have been totally transformed into it. The only precedents I can think of for that are Anti-Sora and Ansem. Anti-Sora didn't have access to Keyblades, and Ansem could only wield one through Riku's body (and presumably Riku’s heart, since he lost his access to the Keyblade once he cast that away).

So is Aqua currently fallen to darkness? Almost definitely, unless this is just Phantom Aqua messing with Mickey, or a physical manifestation of an impression she left behind when she lived there, or the result of some unique circumstance like Aqua-removed-her-Heart-from-her-body or Aqua's-looking-for-Ven-in-the-realm-of-sleep that that would render her condition a temporary side effect.

Is she 'norted? It seems probable, but I'm not one-hundred per cent sure that it actually follows from what's been shown. Xehanort's never shown the ability to discorporate into dark fog or become invisible, I mean, and it seems like that would be a fairly useful ability to make use of if he had it. It seems not unreasonable to assume that it's therefore an ability newly unique to Aqua, and not something connected to a 'norting. I'm going to leave the changers to her hair aside because it's appeared that shade before (for example, in the daylight Wayfinder sequence at the start of the 0.2 trailer), and I'm not sure how much of the color change is being influenced by the lighting conditions, or even if the lighting is finished. The eyes seem like a big give away that she's 13th 'nort, as we've only ever seen glowing amber eyes in humans with Xehanort's vessels... but we don't actually know why he has those traits in the first place.

It could be nothing of consequence, just a unique aspect of his character design that made an easy shorthand for showing who he was possessing. Or it could be that amber eyes are actually meant to represent something in this setting (connection to Heartless?), and what specifically that is just hasn't come up yet, except as through the brothers and sisters 'nort. So it's possible that her eyes don't really mean what we assume they do, and it's just a fun way to use the trailer to mess with us.

(And because this series is so weird, it may also be worth remembering that incomplete beings have been shown to take physical forms influenced by the expectations of the people viewing them. Think Xion's magic flippy-floppy hood, or Aqua perceiving Ansem as Terra. So depending on what the meaning of Aqua's shadow form actually is, the way she appears to Mickey might not be what she actually looks like, as opposed to just the material consequence of how he expects her to look, reflected back upon his own reality. I... ugh. This series is something else.)

(There's also a possible exception to the only-'norts-have-glowing-eyes rule with Terra, who did have glowing amber eyes before he was 'norted, but portions of those cut scenes may now be apocryphal)

But even if Aqua is 'norted, does it automatically follow that she's now an evil puppet of the arch villain’s? I'm going to just throw this out there, and give a hard no. Could be! She could be evil now, she could even be a boss fight and a resulting fetch quest to fix her Wayfinder to bring her back to normal, or be a recurring super boss introduced to give the heroes someone more threatening to fight than Vexen and Marluxia, or anything else. But it's not absolutely necessary and it's a truly strange assumption to make, given past experiences with 'norts and people consumed by darkness.

Riku was 'norted for... really the entirety of the first three games in one way or another, and after a few initial close calls, he got his second wind, and was fine. Vanitas and Braig both seem to do whatever they want; it just so happens that they want to be evil, but I don't think Xehanort has ever shown any supernatural capacity—resorting instead to threats and possible torture—to modify their behavior if they wander off to undermine him. Terra is... well his body has been possessed for decades now, but also obviously is not being controlled in any meaningful way, unless Xehanort actually planned to choke himself and get whipped in the face by chains. Axel also didn't seem to have any problems with just throwing Xehanort out, when he was a heartless shell that theoretically had compromised means of resisting a takeover.  

So Xehanort is clearly not always in complete control of his vessels, other than Young Xeno (himself), Ansem (his own literal heart), and maybe Xemnas (some proportion of his own heart in Terra’s empty body), who could all be unique exceptions. And even the vessels that have been with him the longest have habit of doing as they please. I should find it strange should Aqua be the absolute only exception in the series. And thinking on it, all that's really said of the final confrontation is that you have 13 seekers and 7 guardians... but there's not really a rule that they have to form two opposed teams and stick to them no matter what.

To just fly off into blind speculation though, what I'm personally leaning towards is the possibility that Aqua has just become a part of the realm of darkness. That Mickey is “too late” to reach her before a point of no return, and now she just cannot leave. She doesn't sound particularly angry, or upset to see him. It sounds like she's just stating a fact, or just speaking with resignation. Mickey and Riku, in the clip where Way to Dawn is shown broken, also do not seem as defeated as one might expect them to if they had experienced complete and total failure. They seem pretty sure of themselves, whatever has happened.

I'm hesitant to add this in, given my own bias, but it actually seems not unlike they're saying goodbye. Perhaps just letting go of something, if they've failed and are moving on, or if Riku is just saying goodbye to the chapter of his life represented within Way to Dawn. Or they could be getting ready to split up.  

I've seen a lot of speculation, that I think rings true, that Disney would prefer for Mickey to not be involved in the final fight, whacking recognizable humans in the face with a sword-like weapon. The rumor's line of reasoning follows that he needs to be swapped out for someone else, and Aqua seems like the most fitting possibility. Maybe literally? One stays, so another can go? Thematically, she took on Terra's punishment for him, trapping her there in the first place. Mickey taking it on for her, so she can leave, would be a fitting continuation. And it seems to be what he wants. Edgy, traumatized, Mickey Mouse is a weird concept to introduce to a story, but it almost pulls it off where his trauma re: Aqua is concerned. This is clearly meant to be the great unhealed wound in his life, and to not just free his friend, but take her place in the underworld for a while is one way to help him patch it.

[grvybacks-blog]

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 + 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

full name :  FENRIR BJORNOLF GREYBACK. This was not your born name, of course. But you can barely remember the moniker which once defined you, for it seems lifetimes away. This name is self-given, reflective of all you are and all you intend to be. Each name is reflective of the wolf, and not of the name you were given at birth; that boy is dead now, and only the wolf remains. You remember reading of kings eaten by wolves the size of bears when you lived in the mountains, amongst all those young minds who knew no better; when you took your first life, you realized that not only kings were fit for consumption. And so you changed your name. You became.

birth date :  4 April, 1944. A night on which the moon was obscured by clouds. Your mother died before you could take your first breath;  you were cut from her as she faded away, and then… there you were. You know not what the moon looked like on the night that you were born, nor did your father ever care to tell you before he died. Of course, the moon would only matter to you; it has called to you from the start. Were you, perhaps, born an animal?

gender and pronouns : Fenrir identifies as cisgender male, using he/him pronouns.

character traits :

+ (OVER)PROTECTIVE. One step to the left of loyalty, and just short of devotion, Fenrir’s proclivity for fierce protectiveness is, at first glance, uncharacteristic of his true nature. One would not expect him to feel so fiercely for anyone that he might wish to put his own life on the line for them, but he feels that his pack is his family, and he would easily go so far as to die for them. Sure, his nature is one of a bloodthirsty animal, a feral beast with survival as motive and goal; this has never been a question, and there is no doubting that Fenrir’s capacity for pleasantry and interpersonal communication is a nonexistent one, but his devotion to the pack he has created is unmatched. It is undeniably difficult to land a place on his good side - that would usually include succumbing to a bite that not all survive - but once you are there, once you are in the family, the world will need to go through him before touching you.

+ UNRELENTING. A predator never stops, so neither does Fenrir. Though it could brand him as a firebrand entity, living without conscience or empathy by those who are cowed by his intensity, his refusal to bow, to quit, to relent when it truly matters most is what defines him the most. His is an undeniably intense human being – though, of course, he would point out that he has never been quite human – and is not like to give way even under the most intense pressure. In any circumstance, he is utterly intense, overbearing, frightening; once his mind is locked upon an objective, it would take death alone to pry him from it. His entire life has been a wild ‘do or die’, and so his outlook remains a reflection of such. This is his defining trait, for it can manifest in numerous forms and drives him in whichever direction he feels his unrelenting force is needed. It is an intense trait to possess, and an intense mantra to live by; it has gotten him in more trouble than not, but he has survived yet. And he certainly intends to outlast all his newfound “allies.”

+ RESILIENT. He’s survived so much, and surely will have to survive so much more, that there’s no doubt of his resilience and strength. And it’s not just because of physical fortitude – hell, he’s got enough scars as visible, undeniable proof that he’s not indestructible. But he’s got a stalwart mind, an iron cage about his heart, and an undeniable grit that’s not sure to allow him to falter any time soon. He bows and bends knees to no one – this could force him to come across as headstrong, surely, but his survival instinct outguns any seemingly necessary formality; his pelt is made of iron, of steel, of stone, and does not let just anyone see the weak, fickle humanity behind it all. For that would be weakness – and Fenrir would rather die than be weak.

misc. witty, careless, vengeful, fearless, grudging, conflicted, secretive, nurturing

- CALLOUS. I’m going to be totally frank here - Fenrir is not a nice person in any capacity. He’s blunt, brusque and lacks tact. It could be argued that this lack of ��people skills’ could come from his lack of a proper upbringing, but in truth it is merely attributed to the fact that he rarely cares to put in the effort. He sees no need for the pretense of pleasantry, for he does not feel beholden to anyone in his current circle, and this can undoubtedly rub people the wrong way. In a circle of primped and polished elites, he sticks out like a sore thumb with no intention of healing; as much as defense mechanism as it is first gear, his lack of politesse makes him quite difficult to maintain within the ranks of the Death Eaters - and in the public eye of their association, in general. He cares little for the feelings of others, thinks nothing of those who feign kindness, and does not intend to try any time soon.  

- SELF-SERVING. I’ve elaborated on this a little more below, in the “affiliation” section, but this trait goes far beyond his allegiance within the war. This has always been a necessary trait, a necessary tool used in the grand act of survival. Had he not had his own interests at heart from the onset, Fenrir might not have survived - or perhaps he would have been violently put down, rather than wasting away, for had he not his own preservation in mind, he might have lost himself. He ultimately wants to see himself through the war with his pack at his side; anything that does not further his motives - be it within the grand scheme of the war or in the context of his interpersonal relations - is useless to him, and he will be as underhanded, as devious, as dastardly as he needs to be in order to get ahead. He cares very little for the wants and needs of others - unless, of course, they’re part of his pack.

- EXTREMIST. He is unrelenting, unforgiving, a violent tempest of teeth and anger in equal measure. He is an “all or nothing” sort, with little room for pleasantry or politics. Fenrir is a physical being with animalistic nature and tendencies; there is nothing subtle about him - I mean, he is an infamous murderer after all. It is my job as a writer to understand the complexity of his character, but at the end of a day he is a violent fanatic with no social skills, no remorse, and a nature more animal than man. He was raised feral and wholly stayed that way; predators in the wild don’t know the subtleties and intricacies of the political game - and neither does he. Were this a different universe, “guns blazing” might be an appropriate term. His reputation precedes him, and for good reason; he is a man - an animal - made of violence and selfishness, of hunger and need inhuman, and he has no intention of changing. It has, after all, helped him survive. And he’s not exactly ashamed of his reputation. In fact, the more bloodstained, the better.

affiliation : The Death Eaters. Or, rather, I should be transparent and establish here that Fenrir’s first and strongest loyalty is to his pack. Should it benefit him, he would steer them far from the Death Eaters, for that is what drives his affiliation - benefits. He has no intention of being on the losing side of this war, for his own wellbeing as much as for the longevity of his pack and of his bloodline. At present, it just to happens that the Death Eaters are the most intriguing, the most lucrative, the most attractive offer. The free rein that the Dark Lord offers him, an offer which extends to his created family, is what currently benefits him the most, as it allows him to feed the utmost of his animal desires, to satisfy the bloodlust which drives him and calls him to create. But also, he feels a great deal of responsibility for his pack; his reputation is that of a hot-blooded creator of monsters, one who drinks of the human flesh and leaves it to turn animal - but those who consent to remain by his side are family. He would do anything for his pack, for they are his greatest pride as much as they are his greatest weakness. Should a more conventional member of the Death Eater alliance threaten but a single member of his pack, he would have no qualms with ripping their tongue from within their throat. For now, though, he sees the appeal - and the security - of using his particular talents for the Dark Lord’s cause; no matter how silly he thinks the idol-worship of the group at large truly is, Fenrir is not a stupid man. Fight or flight, survival instinct, whatever you may call it; the pack survives. And no matter which way the war falls, Fenrir and the pack will be in the position required to remain standing.

    plot lines :

[ THE LONE WOLF PERISHES ]: Something I would really like to explore is Fenrir’s relationship with people who have strayed from the pack - the most obvious example is Remus. As his only true loyalty is to his pack, he sees it as the ultimate - and damnable - betrayal, worthy of killing for. At present, he doesn’t want to kill Remus; he still maintains the faint delusion that he can bring him back into the fold, for he is quite proud of his creation. He knows that a wolf on its own is one that is likely to be hunted down and exterminated, for Fenrir is not blind or deaf to the way wizards regard his kind. As much as he wants to ‘save’  Remus from all that, for no matter their conflicting ideologies he is still Fenrir’s creation, he knows that he will not hesitate to snuff him out should he continue to stray too far from the pack. He does not take betrayal lightly - nor does he wish to share his toys. And though Remus has only been amongst the pack for a short time, he considers this a return to his roots, a return to where he is meant to be. He shan’t let him leave unscathed again.

[ BUT THE PACK SURVIVES ]: In that same vein, Fenrir is always wishing to expand his family, to grow his pack. Not only in numbers, but in strength - the pack is the most important thing in his life, the one thing that truly matters to him; he would do anything to keep it together, to keep it safe. He wishes to instill a sense of pride in all of his creations, to teach them the ways of his particular brand of feral nightmare, while preparing them to fight in the war that will earn them a higher station in a world of men. If he accomplishes anything, even if he himself were to perish at the end of the war - though, let’s be honest, he has no plan to fall any time soon - he wishes to leave his pack self-sufficient and prepared to raze the world he left behind. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his pack, and this is no secret; as someone who loves to throw wrenches in smooth systems, however, I would love to see that challenged. The pack survives - but not always. Who knows what would happen if one of his number were to fall?

[ A FERAL DARLING ]: Blending in is… largely impossible for someone as ostentatious an unapologetic as Fenrir, and that can create quite a number of problems for him when he is trying to blend in. And, frankly, when he is trying not to get arrested. He and his pack have one hell of a reputation, one which seems to follow him everywhere he goes. And in order to function, he has to take at least some sort of efforts to shirk that reputation. With people like Hestia on his heels, Fenrir needs to blend into society - not high society, of course, because I’m not delusional enough to think that he could be capable of pulling that off (or that he would want to), but a man who lives in the woods, chops his own wood, cooks over a fire most nights, and can often be found picking twigs, grass, and leaves out of his hair is going to take some work when it comes to functioning in common wizarding society. I would really like to explore all the painfully humorous possibilities that come with Fenrir trying to integrate - and everyone who would either call his bluff or help him try.

[ CONSUME OR CREATE ]: Fenrir has, for lack of a better term, a little black book of people he would like to play with; to be frank, they all toe the line between people he’d like to have in the pack, and people he’d like to have for lunch, which is something nonplussing to the pack, but horrifying to anyone looking in. I’d like for him to interact with all the people on the shortlist - Tarquin, Alice, Hestia, and others - and to pursue them in a way befitting his sincere lack of subtlety.

[ WILD CARD IN THE HAND ]: He has no interest in purity and domination, but in freedom, and in this, he is a dangerous and unruly member of the Death Eaters. Though he is, at present, an unmarked member of the Death Eaters, he still operates among them and owes his freedom, allegiance, and influence to them. He joined them, after all, to earn freedom for himself and for his pack, and he knows he must work for it. But his mindset and theirs, his upbringing and theirs, are polar opposites, making it rather difficult to operate amongst them. Whenever he can get away with it, he operates on his own, but when it is required of him he makes no real efforts to play nice. He does believe, after all, that he is the superior being. I would love to see Fenrir more deeply embroiled in the affairs of the Death Eaters; just imagine how someone as blunt as he dealing with some sort of scandal. He’s not as brutish and dumb as they think he is, and though he plays that perception to his advantage, he knows that the intricacies of Pureblood society are a dangerous thing. I would love to see him have to navigate that - it’ll be more difficult than the war itself, to be sure.

    biography :

One must always wonder if monsters are born, or if they simply become. If they emerge from the cavernous void of creation with teeth bared and claws sharpened for the ripping, or perhaps if they come about like every other sad child with no mothering touch to teach them what it is to be human. No one really knows where monsters come from, and perhaps that is what makes them so terrifying. Or perhaps it is the inevitability that, no matter what we are inclined to believe about the nature of creation, all monsters were children once.

No one knows where he came from, for he will never tell them. There exists a certain mythos about the wolf, the Greyback wolf, whose reputation precedes him, that he simply appeared in the gutters of London one night, dressed in rags and wielding a thigh bone as a club, blood upon his cheeks as if he had bitten into something far too large to chew. He was a feral child who lived between shadows, inhabiting the old, dilapidated flat that had once belonged to a mother and father who had never truly loved each other, had never truly loved him. They had left him, after all; he’d never even known their names. Beggars, they had been, lowlifes who exposed their child to the worst sort of people - but, perhaps they themselves were the true monsters, packing away their things and leaving him to rot when he came home with empty pockets and a profusely bleeding bite-wound upon his shoulders. They had looked upon it with horror, for it spanned the length of his arm, half his chest, as if he’d been plucked up by the ankles and dipped gently into the jaws of the beast. He knew not what it meant - but his parents certainly did. Perhaps he would have hated them less if they had told him what he would become before leaving him with nothing but the clothes on his back and the mold-touched bread on the table. Perhaps he would have been less frightened had he known, on the following full moon, why it was he lay upon the floor, captured at the base of the window by a single shaft of moonlight, tearing limb from limb and growing upward, outward.

Perhaps he would not hate them so, had they told him that he would feel more himself as the beast, and that they had left him for becoming who he had always meant to be. Perhaps so. Perhaps. Perhaps if he had torn into them with freshly grown fangs, and not the carriage driver in the park he’d have felt their debts paid.

He was a beastly wraith, inhabiting the streets of London, the gutters and sewers, stealing what he could and taking what he must. There were whispers that the old landlord had died, that the dingy one-room flat in which he’d been born was to be abandoned fully, along with the rest of the building. And so he was truly alone, a lonely and feral monster with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even as a young boy scrounging for scraps and fumbling halfheartedly through the discovery of magic he knew that mortal flesh was not meant for him. He yearned for the change, for the animal that shared space with the scraps of a human soul deep within his chest. His was a lawless upbringing, a ruleless world which belonged to him and only him. He never questioned why he was made this way, nor who it was that made him; as far as Fenrir was concerned, it was the closest thing to a gift from a divine presence that someone so close to Hell as he would ever receive. A divine gift, but not one without its temptations, its pains, its suffering. But is that not the defining quality of all things divine?

But he possessed magic just as greatly as he possessed monstrosity; the magic was much more clumsy in his hands, secondary to the newfound animalism which drove him to hunt, to stray from the city and travel north, to become more nomad than wraith. Far from the city, Fenrir found himself in foreign territories that did not take as kindly, or as nonchalantly, to abandoned adolescents who took their meat raw and slept with one eye open. Those in smaller towns chased him into the wood with angry words and angrier spells, for they who held magic in the palms of their hands wanted not to allow a monster into the fold. It was much harder to steal from these smaller villages, to pillage from the humble houses, and so he learned to hunt - both as man and beast - to fish, to chop wood, to build. He was a man before adolescence, an ancient soul before all else.

At the age of thirteen, he found himself settled quite comfortably just outside Druskininkai; the Lithuanian people, he’d found, seemed more likely to leave him be than most, when encountered in the wood. Perhaps the folk in the city had heard the howls at night, the cries of pain and splendor with each full moon. Perhaps they knew that to leave their chickens in the cool night air and to lock their doors was a safer homage than to try and engage the monster directly. Or perhaps they knew that to offer him still-living stock to drag back to the shed he’d taken to inhabiting in the woods would be better than to allow him to continue to lecherously observe the girls who played in the wheat fields, watching them as if they were his next meal.

He was not ashamed that he had once tried to make a girl - blonde, with pigtails and freckles like full-moon stars - like him, once. But he was too young, and she too frightened. They’d found her arm first, for he’d done his best to bite her in the same pattern that scarred his shoulder; but she’d jerked from him, screaming, howling, and it had all come apart far too easily. He’d not bothered to wash his ragged trousers in the river until the next morning.

It was here, in this village where his reputation was not quite so terrible yet, that a traveling scholar with ties to the Durmstrang Institute dared approach him, dared speak to the feral boy who knew so little of humans, but so much of humanity. At first, Fenrir wished nothing to do with the man, or with the school of which he spoke. After all, Fenrir had known nothing but a self-sufficient life of nomadic survival, living off the land and off the people intelligent enough not to fight back. At first, he thought it frivolous, silly. But then the scholar had produced a wand from within his traveling cloak and had set him ablaze with curiosity.

But the scholar, this man with ties to the school, also made him bitter. You’ll never be like them, he’d said, But you can pretend to be.

He did not want to pretend, to hide, to lessen his monster for the sake of those who did not understand. The way the man spoke, Fenrir thought that perhaps they, wizards, thought him less for his condition. The man had called it an ‘affliction’; Fenrir knew enough of men, however, to disagree. He had never known anything but this life upon the outskirts, but he knew enough of the world to see the opportunity presented to him. The young boy, all rib-bones and dirty feet, knew survival to be paramount. Survival, freedom; acceptance meant nothing, but power was another story.

He lasted but a few years at Durmstrang, but what little education he received was invaluable. They’d cleaned him up, with pity on their faces and determination in their heavy hand, and had taught him - too little too late - all they could about ‘playing nice’ with the others, about becoming a part of a community which required social skills he had thus been lacking. Of course, what need had Fenrir had for the precarious intricacies of social politics? The children in his year had all come from lily-pure stock, and made no secret of looking down their noses at the raggedy boy who disappeared once a month, who was taught to eat with utensils, who ran in his sleep. They looked down upon him, but he cared little for their opinions - only for the practice they gave him. He learned to duel with words just as quickly as with wands, sliding comfortably into a human facade which would be passable at best to most who scrutinized him. He realized that he was quite good at slipping into the facade, at playing into their brutish perception of him, for his greatest power, it seemed, was being underestimated.

After a time, Fenrir felt as if he had exhausted the use of formal education, and left Durmstrang - though some might argue that he was encouraged to leave. At the age of fifteen, he struck out on his own once more, though this time with the skills, mindset, and determination to change the way in which he cut his monster’s path through the world. Where once he had been aimless, his time amongst the Pureblooded wizards - and their talk of purity, and the desire to reign supreme, and a movement in the name of all of it forming to the south - he now quite liked the idea of a superior regime. But, of course, he did not subscribe to the ideal that Pure magic was might, that it was superior, that his own blood was less than those without magic at all; no - he knew better. He almost felt sorry for them, the misinformed bigots who thought of him as an animal to be tamed, to be collared into too-tight robes and taught party tricks.

No - his kind was superior. And they deserved to be free. He deserved to be free.

And so he returned south with the intention of settling near his once-home, to grow his family (family, he called it; this was almost humanity), to mark themselves as a presence worthy of overtaking the lesser witches and wizards who underestimated the vitriol of the truest predator. Fenrir saw the undeniable benefit in doing so on the precipice of a war; it was a war fought by men in studies, haughty chess-makers who thought one spilled blood better than the other. He observed the brewing storm as he roamed about the countryside throughout England, Scotland, Wales; were he to have a stake in the rearranging of the world order, were he to put his hand into the fire that stretched even as far as Durmstrang, he would need not be alone. And besides, what better gift to bestow upon humanity than that of his secret weapon?

With enough of them, with enough numbers behind him, he could eat the men in their studies, and leave the bones with which his children could pick their teeth. It was a lovely thought; it was purpose.

It was not long before Fenrir had cut enough of a path through the community to be considered both a threat and something to be feared; he took children from their homes and brought them into his fold, where they could not be abandoned, where they could not be left to turn feral in the wilds. He thought it a service to them, knew it to be a gift that they could only repay by acting in his service. But he was determined to treat them in a way much different than his own upbringing; they would be an army as much as a community. A presence to be feared - but soon to be respected. He could not deny the thrill, the utterly bloody satisfaction he felt at growing his number, for violence had always been his bread and butter. And soon others saw it his way - and those who did not were quickly eliminated, for monsters of his breed, no matter their beliefs, belonged to him, with him.

Theirs is a lawless existence, this life of the Greyback pack. His body count has a body count of its own; the pack shares his taste for an almost pirate-like lack of regard for the laws of humanity - or of society, for that matter. Fenrir has made it quite clear that he is neither their father nor their master, but that they owe him the debt of their lives. They know all too well that it would have been all too easy to simply destroy them; many are beholden to failed turnings just as often as they are privy to successful ones. They live upon the fringes; rarely do any but Fenrir mingle with the common folk of the wizarding community. They seem to know not, or care not, Fenrir included, that they are uneducated, that they are anomalies, that they are a third horse in a race run by political players, for Fenrir has instilled it in them that they exist here, in this war, in these circles, to accompany the victors to the other side, where freedom awaits. He tells them only enough of his life, of his struggles, of what he has seen to instill in them a confidence that he can, in fact, see the freedom which lies just beyond the horizon of the war. In the service of he who calls himself the Dark Lord - at which Fenrir scoffs, and the pack laughs - they are allowed to indulge in their intrinsic tastes for blood, for violence, for chaos; they are allowed to be themselves where Fenrir was not, at their age. He ushers them into a new age where they will not have to hide, where they will not be forced to live in the hollows and cracks of a society that does not want them - for this is what the world has owed him from the very beginning.

This is not the becoming of a single monster - this is the heralding of their true and deserved age. A dynasty of monstrous creation, a lifetime of retribution. Monsters will be monsters, after all.

And there is no questioning the nature of monsters or men.

iii.

Pinterest - HERE!

[your-dietician]

Evolution Could Explain Why Psychotherapy May Work for Depression

New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/evolution-could-explain-why-psychotherapy-may-work-for-depression/

Evolution Could Explain Why Psychotherapy May Work for Depression

A consensus has emerged in recent years that psychotherapies—in particular, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—rate comparably to medications such as Prozac and Lexapro as treatments for depression. Either option, or the two together, may at times alleviate the mood disorder. In looking more closely at both treatments, CBT—which delves into dysfunctional thinking patterns—may have a benefit that could make it the better choice for a patient.

The reason may be rooted in our deep evolutionary past. Scholars suggest humans may become depressed to help us focus attention on a problem that might cause someone to fall out of step with family, friends, clan or the larger society—an outcast status that, especially in Paleolithic times, would have meant an all-but-certain tragic fate. Depression, by this account, came about as a mood state to make us think long and hard about behaviors that may have caused us to become despondent because some issue in our lives is socially problematic.  

A recent article in American Psychologist, the flagship publication of the American Psychological Association, weighs what the possible evolutionary origins of depression might mean for arguments about the merits of psychotherapy versus antidepressants. In the article, Steven D. Hollon, a professor of psychology at Vanderbilt University, explores the implications of helping a patient come to grips with the underlying causes of a depression—which is the goal of CBT, and is also in line with an evolutionary explanation. The anodyne effects of an antidepressant, by contrast, may divert a patient from engaging in the reflective process for which depression evolved—a reason perhaps that psychotherapy appears to produce a more enduring effect than antidepressants.  Scientific American spoke with Hollon about his ideas on the topic.

[An edited transcript of the interview follows].

You described in your recent article the idea that humans evolved a propensity toward depression as a means to restore emotional and psychological equilibrium. That allows people to stay well integrated within their social milieus. So, can you explain how depression may be a product of evolution that can actually protect us?

In the late 2000s, I read a paper by the evolutionary biologist Paul Andrews. It was masterful, very thoughtful—and I totally disagreed with it. The main premise was that depression was an evolved adaptation that serves to make people ruminate.

Why did you disagree?

For clinicians, we think of rumination as a terrible thing that at best is a symptom of depression and at worst leads to something that deepens the depression. We’ve always thought of it as a kind of exhaust out the tailpipe that is not really helpful.

But the work of Andrews and his colleague J. Andrew (Andy) Thomson recounted that in our evolutionary past, what got you depressed was some kind of major problem—probably a social problem—that might get you excluded from the tribe. And what you had to do is sit down and think about things.

Most of us can think of anxiety as being a useful function, because anxiety takes us away from danger. It’s quick, it’s rapid, the reaction that occurs after stepping on a snake that might be poisonous when you’re out in the woods. But most folks don’t think of depression as having any function. It’s just something unpleasant. The trick is to figure out what the purpose of depression is—and when Andrews and Thomson looked at what goes on when you get depressed, they found that a lot of energy went to the brain.

And the reason for that is to help us to think more carefully about the things that are going wrong, and first to understand what’s the cause. That answers the question: How come I’m feeling so bad? And the second thing is: How can I do a good job of figuring out a solution to a problem? 

So, you don’t have to move rapidly in depression; the bad thing has already happened. You don’t have to get out of the way of a poisonous snake or a leopard. But you do have to solve some kind of complex social problem, and rumination is what gets you there. So as opposed to being an unpleasant byproduct of being depressed, rumination is actually the reason why depression evolved. And it helps you solve complex social problems.  

You seem to now be giving some credence to the ideas of Andrews and Thomson. How does this line of thinking actually play out in people’s lives? At what point does depression and the social problems that need to be ruminated upon begin?

These complex social problems often gear up in adolescence when young people start to ask: Am I going to have a boyfriend and girlfriend? How do I get a boy or girl to like me? Am I going to do okay in school? Are my parents happy with me? Am I going to get to go to college? Will I be able to find a job?

How does your expertise in psychotherapy—and specifically cognitive behavioral therapy—jibe with the evolutionary theory of depression?

Cognitive therapy in this context becomes a bit of a natural. It teaches people how to ruminate more effectively. Cognitive theory holds that people got depressed because they hold inaccurate beliefs about themselves. This can be combined with the additional notion that people can get stuck. For example, if something bad happens, you start thinking that you’re a failure, you’re a loser. For most people, depression motivates them to think more deliberately about the causes of their problems and the solutions they can apply. In most instances in our ancestral past this worked well enough; most depressions remit spontaneously even in the absence of treatment. Cognitive therapy, at the least, hurries the process along and, at the most, helps unstick that subset of individuals who get stuck making negative ascriptions about themselves, typically about personal competence or lovability.

The solution is to essentially teach them the scientific method so they get unstuck. We ask a patient to ask themselves: what do you think is the cause of the problem? What other explanations could there be? What’s the evidence supporting one or the other? And especially we encourage patients who get stuck to pit what are called their stable trait theories—“I am incompetent” or “I am unlovable”— against a more behavioral explanation: “I chose the wrong strategies.”

One area that you’ve worked on is whether CBT has a more enduring effect than drugs, and you’re interested in how that might provide evidence for the evolutionary basis for depression.

Basically, we have good clinical evidence that cognitive therapy is at least as effective as medications in the short run, and more enduring in the long run. CBT may get people thinking carefully about their problems in a way that facilitates coming to a resolution, whereas medications may just anesthetize the stress that underlies a depression.

Are you going to test that idea in some way?

I’ve got colleagues in Vietnam, where they’re quite interested in a study we want to do in which we compare folks treated to recovery with CBT versus folks treated to recovery with medication—and compare those against a control that uses Chinese herbal medicine, which is widely believed there to be effective. And if it’s really the case that antidepressant medications suppress symptoms in a way that worsens the underlying course of depression, then those patients should be more likely to have recurrences when we take them off the medications than when we take them off the Chinese herbal medicine. If it’s really true that CBT truly has an enduring effect that protects against depression, then patients treated to recovery should be less likely to recur following treatment termination than patients who recover on Chinese herbal medicine. In essence, the Chinese herbal medicine serves as an ideal nonspecific control because it provides neither the coping skills taught in cognitive therapy nor the pharmacologically active serotonin-related ingredient provided by antidepressant medications. We have a trial that we want to do that should answer the question, but it hasn’t yet been done.

Doesn’t some evidence exist along these lines already, though?

There are over half a dozen studies that indicate that patients treated to remission with cognitive therapy are less likely to relapse following treatment termination than patients treated to remission with antidepressant medications—and a pair of studies that suggest that this enduring effect may extend to the prevention of recurrence. What we do not know is where all this fits within the proposed evolutionary context: whether cognitive therapy has an enduring effect, or antidepressant medications may be detrimental in terms of prolonging the life of the underlying episode—as evolutionary theory suggests. What is needed is a nonspecific control that neither has enduring effects or the anesthetizing effects caused by the medication. Whether cognitive therapy truly has an enduring effect, or antidepressant medications have a detrimental effect, remains to be determined. The comparison of each to a nonspecific control like Chinese herbal medicine should allow us to determine in absolute terms which is which.

You’ve talked about the difficulties in trying to measure whether there really are enduring effects in this type of trial.

It also is possible that the enduring effects observed for cognitive therapy (relative to antidepressant medications) have to do with changes that occur during the course of a clinical trial. Although we randomize patients to cognitive therapy versus antidepressant medications at the outset of the trial, we typically lose about 15 percent of the sample because of attrition, and another 25 percent as a nonresponse to either intervention. That means that only about 60 percent of the sample initially randomized makes it into the comparison of subsequent rates of relapse. If different kinds of patients remit to cognitive therapy than to antidepressant medications, that could bias any subsequent comparisons.

Do you think that these insights about CBT could have an impact for severe depression?

I don’t know, and wouldn’t necessarily assume that they would. For psychotic depression, you’d go to electroconvulsive therapy first. I’m not sure that the analytical rumination hypothesis will apply to psychotic depressions, or that it needs to. For every evolved adaptation there are instances in which the mechanism evolved breaks down and the condition can be considered to be an actual disease or disorder.

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