#everything out of aury's mouth gives balduran flashbacks i swear to god

[astrallithid]

There's something about how Aurelius approaches the whole situation- with a cold and disconnected air- that reminds Balduran of his time in the Moonrise colony. Illithids looked down upon other beings, saw ceremorphosis as an ascension for those lesser beings. They sought the Grand Design and lacked understanding of the true value of life. Your death would've been a release, says the angel, and Balduran hears the whispers of the Nursemaid-

You will be beautiful when you are born. You will no longer think of this fragile mortal shell. There will be no more pain. Soon. Soon.

Aurelius sounds like the voice of the colony- he spoke of this dead elf like the Elder Brain spoke of renegades. What colony would want an illithid incapable of creating its own thralls? One that performed magic? One who still had the echo of another person's voice in its head ⎛ not its host, but the roar of a dragon with shining scales. It knows the dragon is coming before the others do. When the dragon lays waste to the colony, his mind screams only one name. Balduran. ⎠❝ I quite enjoy my identity, ❞ comes the soft response, more distant than before, but still warm, still inviting.

❝ I should think that if there was any true blame to be had, perhaps it could be said to be the Stars- but even then, they are about as consistent as the weather- ❞

❝ On some days they are fair and kind- on others, we must brave the day as if we were ships lost upon stormy seas. It is not a matter of having the right. As you say, you would've killed me if I had been in place of the elf- but what if it had been you? Woven into the workings of a world that is not yours? With memories that you truly believed with your whole heart and soul? Would you have wanted to be killed, or would you have fought to live? ❞

「✦」 Compatible, he says, though Aurelius only interprets it as an overture of friendship. He cannot flirt, except perhaps to tease Klaus; the last man who'd come close to succeeding had gotten stepped on instead.

Balduran speaks of the dying and their last thoughts: of comfort, of prayers. He thinks back to his own and marvels at the difference: there had hardly been time to string together an entire sentence, much less pray between his deaths. Fiyero's must have been a luxury in comparison with so many people to remember, so much time to reminiscence.

"Your death would've been a release," he says out loud. "From identity as well as obligation, neither of which they had the rights to when they took my partner's place."

"It was not an issue of intention, but insult through existence. The sooner I killed them, the better."

He understands the Stars well enough to know their whims are fickle. But when someone violated a tenet, was he supposed to forgive them on grounds of ignorance?

"At any rate, they've already died once and paid their penance—and made me pay in turn. I could care less what they're doing now."