#everything from having a possibly trans character to the smart time mechanics to the two secret endings that snap the game's story in half

[serialgirlposter]

Favorite game franchise: kingdom hearts

Favorite rpg: dragon quest 11

Favorite fighting game franchise: guilty gear

Favorite fighting game: soul calibur 3

Favorite game: shadow of destiny/memories

(Please don't biy games directly from square enix)

[katagawajr]

did you have any other headcanons for Gladstone in your Atlas au? It's so nice seeing new art of him, he was my favorite character from bltps (づ ◕‿◕ )づ!!

aa sorry for the late response!! i got so excited to answer and then i forgot LMAO 😳 but yes!!! i absolutely adored him in bltps too :’) i have a few headcanons for him, and a lot are in collaboration with @ewbie (who’s putting out a fic soon that you might wanna check out *wink wink*)

this might be long, so HCs under the cut! (art here).

-so for starters, i hc him as mixed polynesian! i think i said this in the tags, but “gladstone” is a scottish name, and “katoa” is a polynesian surname (from wallis and futuna specifically). he also has a sort of australian/new zealand accent so it fits in my eyes lmao :)

-i also hc him as autistic (the way he calls the constructor prototype his “life’s work” or special interest, and clearly he’s extremely talented in that field. also his demeanor in general read that way to me), and trans (that one bltps line where jack goes “all brains, no balls, doctor?” and he goes “hah… something like that.” LMAO)

-i hc him as around rhys and vaughn’s age (so during atlas AU he’d be around 32)- this would also make him 25 in bltps, but he already has a doctorate so basically he’s just one of those smart gifted kids :’) often leads to him being a lil defensive or very sure of himself

-he doesn’t die in bltps (obviously). jack sticks him in the airlock as well, but gladstone manages to find a little something to hang on to while pleading with jack, and survives- probably dislocates his shoulders or something, poor guy. but jack takes note of his crazy intelligence as well as his apparent will to live

-so that being said, jack basically forces gladstone to work on the Angel Project and be his little personal scientist, under threat of death torture etc etc…. gladstone hates it more than anything, especially having to see another innocent woman (who should have been protected) be used and killed by jack. but gladstone sees himself as a coward, so he does what he’s told.

-during the helios battle, gladstone managed to copy felicity’s (broken) code onto a flashdrive. so then during the time when jack was overseeing timothy’s departure to the Casino, gladstone snuck the flashdrive to timothy in hopes that one day timothy would be able to find a way to rescue her, since gladstone couldn’t.

-eventually jack dies, gladstone falls with helios, and he ends up being hired to Atlas by rhys (just like a lot of helios employees). rhys knows nothing about gladstone since all his files were top secret and basically didn’t exist.

-he works in Bioengineering, since mechanical engineering is still a point of trauma for him. he does it occasionally, but he carries a lot of guilt for what happened to felicity, which he still sees as his fault.

-he lives by himself in the city, and he has a kitty! a fluffy white cat named Moonpie :)

-because of everything that happened, he definitely has a lot of anxiety and trauma (between felicity, the airlock, working on the angel project under jack, etc.) so he definitely sees a therapist. he also stims a lot and prefers to work by himself

-i hc him as mlm, and also he’s a virgo. idk.

-his favorite color is green :)

-in atlas au he tends to be a bit more pessimistic, and he definitely keeps a distance with rhys (unlike almost everyone else), but it’s really just a response to everything awful that happened to him when he used to be an optimist. there’s still a sweet young guy underneath…

-when felicity makes it to atlas, he’s so happy and they quickly become basically inseparable LMAO- i don’t think i personally see their relationship as romantic, especially because of felicity’s past and the fact that she’s an AI, but they are the closest friends that two people could possibly be. he is the first man felicity’s ever trusted, and she loves to sit and watch him do work and ramble :)

-that metal plate on his forehead was something that got installed at hyperion, when the company had a long history of implants and body modification to employees. it helps keep his goggles in place while he’s working, and also it’s able to do random little scientific functions like give temperature and misc. readings on things he touches to it lmao

-his favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate chip cookie dough.

-he doesn’t go out very much because of his anxiety, but he does like to play video games! he likes to speedrun games for fun :)

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 10: Enemies to Lovers

It's a Match! | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2015 Main Tags/Warnings: pining, online dating, getting together Summary: Dean has seen the guy a handful of times, mostly at Charlie’s parties or when out and about with her — it’s only been six times that Dean is aware of, actually. Not that he counted. Well. He did, maybe, count a little. But that’s only because the guy is seriously gorgeous, and also seems to seriously hate Dean. Like, frowns and dark stares and leaving the room when Dean enters it. And that is most definitely the only reason why Dean keeps track of their meetings. It has nothing to do with the fact that, for whatever stupid reason, Dean feels all fuzzy and happy and warm around this stupid, scruffy, handsome, dark-haired and blue-eyed Cas-guy. Something about him just… does things to Dean’s head.

In The Ballroom | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 2594 Main Tags/Warnings: lovers to enemies to lovers, broken relationship, getting back together, false mentions of cheating Summary: The high school dance was useless in Castiel's opinion; there was nothing to do, people were incredibly annoying, and he would be alone. But, having Charlie Bradbury as his best friend, he had no choice but to go; after all, there was a tiny chance he would get tacos after the party. Castiel did not get tacos but he got something a lot better.

Ring a Bell for the Righteous Man | @pray4jensen

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3003 Main Tags/Warnings: Enemies to Lovers, Royalty/Fantasy AU, Soul Bond, Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubious Consent Summary: An hour passes and the prince doesn't bed him. Dean thinks that maybe the prince doesn't have any intention of doing it at all, and if that's the case, it'll be Dean who'll face the consequences. So, thumbing a finger down the length of Cas' wings, Dean taunts, ""I thought you promised Lord Alastair that I wouldn't be able to walk, your highness."" Dean pauses. ""Are you doubting yourself, my lord?""

Addicted | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3671 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 4/5 canon divergent, Destiel, slow burn, Badass! Castiel, first kiss, first time, explicit sexual content, canon typical violence. Summary: Dean can't get Castiel out of his mind. Everytime the angel is in front of him, is hypnotizing. He needs to know what is going on with him. Why Castiel is so irresistible? And why he feels that empty everytime the angel isn't near him.

the light of falling stars | @procasdeanating

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4980 Main Tags/Warnings: Alien!Cas, wing fic, inspired by a movie (enemy mine) Summary: … when Lieutenant Dean Winchester and the two ships under his command engaged in combat with a Seraph squadron. Two army ships were destroyed, while one fighter, presumably Lt. Winchester’s, made a forced landing on a nearby uninhabited class D planet after triggering the emergency protocol. The ongoing search has not produced conclusive results. Lt. Winchester is classified as missing in action…

First Impressions | @suckerfordeansfreckles

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7254 Main Tags/Warnings: hospital AU, ftm trans Cas, top surgery, mentions of medical stuff, sharing a room Summary: When Cas wakes for the first time after his surgery, there’s sunlight tentatively streaming through the window to his right. It takes him a while of uncoordinated blinking and thinking until he realizes where he is, why he’s here. And then the giddiness comes, sudden and overwhelming, when he looks down at his chest and there is none. The reality is almost too much to grasp and his hands shake a little when he tries to raise them to touch. He's happy, and giddy, and so thankful. And then a nurse wheels in his new roommate, one very obnoxious and flirty Mr. Winchester. Cas just... cannot wait to watch all of this play out.

The Galaxy's Most Wanted | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10160 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Space Pirates, Enemies to Lovers, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Angry Sex, Sexual Tension Summary: Dean had been the one always up to mischief, running around with his father’s broken laser pistol and constantly getting into places he shouldn’t have been. Sam, in comparison, always seemed to be the smart, studious one – until he reprogrammed the AI in their neighbours’ house to play ‘Happy Birthday’ at the loudest possible volume while keeping all the doors and windows firmly locked. It had taken two experts seven hours to undo the coding that Sam had managed to integrate into the house’s programming. So, yes. They had been exceptional even from the beginning. And when John Winchester crossed one too many people, his sons inherited his beloved ship, and took to the cosmos doing what they knew best: stealing. And they were damn good at it too. Almost unrivalled, across their own galaxy and even those neighbouring. Almost.

Love Thy Enemy | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 11887 Main Tags/Warnings: revenge planning, use of guns, major characters injury Summary: After being betrayed by the Men of Letters, Dean makes the most stupid, idiotic, and best decision of his life: ask Castiel Novak, his long time enemy, for help.

The Quest for the Demon King's Heart | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 12500 Main Tags/Warnings: fantasy au, demon king!dean, wood elf!cas, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, minor character death, major character injury, angry sex, angst with a happy ending Summary: In a fantasy land, Dean, the Demon King, goes to a distant guild to take a break from evil, where he meets a young adventurer, Castiel, on a quest to slay the Demon King. For fun, Dean helps and protects the adventurer, and affection grows between them. Then, they arrive at the gates of his castle.

A Virgin to Redeem the Billionaire | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16660 Main Tags/Warnings: Manipulation, Emotional Manipulation, blackmailing someone into a relationship, Mentions of drug selling (not Destiel), Mentions of cheating (not Destiel), virgin!cas Summary: When Castiel meets Dean Winchester, the other man seems to be a real asshole. So it doesn’t surprise him, when Dean shows up again and this time blackmails Castiel in a horrible way. Castiel agrees to be his boyfriend, only to protect his family, but along the way he actually falls for Dean.

The Bakery | @dates-with-cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 41075 Main Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, offscreen character death, enemies to lovers, workplace sex, semi-public sex, attempted rape/non-con, mentions of past sexual abuse, alcohol as a coping mechanism, sex as a coping mechanism, sex in a kitchen, unresolved past trauma, top!Cas, bottom!Dean Summary: Dean Winchester loves his job, and he's thrilled to have his boss' brother coming in to work over the holidays, that is until he meets Castiel Novak for himself. The man is picky, grouchy, and absolutely fucking gorgeous.

The Path Between the Stars | zaphodsgirl (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 53111 Main Tags/Warnings: AU - Labyrinth Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death Summary: It's been almost fifteen years since Dean met the enigmatic goblin king, Castiel. After failing to complete the labyrinth with Sam to save baby Adam, Dean is forced to make a deal to secure their freedom. Five years ago he finally gave in to the feelings he’d been keeping at bay for some time, only for Castiel to disappear from his life completely without a word. When Dean relays the story of the labyrinth to Sam's girlfriend Eileen, an opportunity presents itself for him to get some answers...and maybe have a second chance at something he hadn't dared to believe was real.

Of Twists and Turns | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 75080 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Pirate AU, Implied Drug Use, Minor Character Death, Amputation, Sea Monsters, Hunter Dean Summary: When naval surgeon Castiel Novak is captured by the Black Impala pirates, he has no choice but to agree to their terms: He is to serve on their ship for a whole year before they release him. That doesn’t mean he is going to like it, though. Especially when their captain is the embodiment of everything Castiel despises. Determined to earn his freedom, Castiel settles into the life of an outlaw. When the pirates’ true goal is revealed, though, he can no longer deny that things are not as black and white as he thought they were. And he can’t deny how drawn he is to Captain Winchester either.

Sovereign | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 87974 Main Tags/Warnings: Arranged Marriage, Hate to Love, Fantasy AU, Royalty AU, Virgin Castiel, Switching, Slow Burn, Minor Injuries Summary: When his brother embarks on a risky venture, Prince Dean of Pellia’s only choice is to enter into a marriage with the king of Arxelle in order to save Sam’s life as well as his own. King Castiel is severe, aloof, and no more happy about their hasty wedding than Dean. Marital bliss is the last state either of them expects to reach, but as Dean spends more time in his new home, he and Castiel slowly begin to settle into a partnership that allows them to put the needs of their kingdom before their own feelings. The longer they spend together, though, the more those feelings develop, daring them both to wonder if they might ever be husbands in more than just name.

Shot Through The Heart | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 156327 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Men of Letters, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Humor, Case Fic, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Bottom Dean Summary: As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that's not much of a problem - if it wasn't for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude. He's been an annoying thorn in Dean's side since day one - and the hunter doesn't see that change anytime soon.

[journeynaut]

This decade I went from being 14 to 24. From my understanding this means this decade has pretty much shaped my tastes, beliefs, and personality more than any other decade will. It’s also an important decade because at the beginning of the decade I felt like a real person, and now I feel like a ghost that occasionally almost inhabits the same space as this flesh prison.

Anyway, here’s a list of games that shaped me in reverse chronological order for maximum pretension. Spoilers and typos will be abundant. 

Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018)

I like little, mostly irrelevant prepping activities in games. Currently, I’m playing Death Stranding, and my Norman Reedus always puts on a cap. Mostly to cover up his weird little pony, but also just as a thing to do to focus before a mission. Like, listening to Friends in the Armed Forces by Thursday before the helicopter lands. Like, grabbing your wallet in the morning. Or, like in Arthur Morgan’s case, putting on a bandana before being a nasty crime boy.

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. I always play characters as good and pure as possible. But after I got done doing my good boy crimes I could always return to camp. Sure, camp was always moving as we ran, but the people were there every time. The world of RDR2 is beautiful, I think the characters were my favorite thing about this game. The entire plot was that camp, the outcasts in it, and the dreams they followed. They fused a cowboy simulator with a cult simulator. It says, don’t worry, friend - just keep going and Eden is the next job.

This is a game where you give, break, and are broken in pursuit of a lie. This is a game where your perfect life never arrives and the simple pleasures you find are taken. In the end, you only do whatever little bit of good you can, thank your horse for carrying your weight and the weight of everything you carry, and lay down to go peacefully.

Night in the Woods (2017)

This last decade took my memory from me. When I was a freshman in college taking an intro psych class, the class took a short term memory test. I got second in the whole class. Now I’m sitting here trying to remember who said what in this game. But regardless, one character says something like, “Getting older is your list of first times growing shorter while your list of never agains grows longer.” Heavily paraphrased, probably.

I think there’s a Bojack Horseman episode where he says, life is a series of closing doors, isn’t it? In our modern capitalist hell, very few don’t get trapped. This game understands that sometimes you can’t get out, and sometimes you just need to break some fluorescent bulbs at a dumpster. Or in my case, procrastinate on my life by playing this game while everything fell apart around me.

World of Warcraft: Legion (2016)

Tanking in WoW was my most fulfilling gaming experience of the decade. I wasn’t great, but I could be good occasionally. There are a few moments of genuine pride I can remember. Which, now that I think back, might be some of the last times I felt pride.

I had never played WoW or even an MMO before Legion, but everyone has to get into an MMO when they’re in college, right? So I got into it for about a year, and I played it way too much. So much so, I lost myself after I stopped, both personally and in games. It was hard for me to stick to any game for a long time after I stopped playing, and it honestly still is.

It wasn’t the tanking or the pride or the addictive design elements that kept me coming back - it was the people. This became a Return To game for me. Whether I was playing seriously or just goofing off, I would return to the trans mog shop in Stormwind. There were a few players who would gather consistently and talk between queues. I barely knew anything about these people but I spent hours there with them. There was my healer and best friend who I played with every day. There was the carpet layer from Hawaii. There was the player we always assumed was a young girl but turned out to be some rich man? And behind the anonymity of my characters I was able to comfortably interact with the regulars and the passerbys and mess with the assholes. I learned that pretending to be an actor playing someone else is the best way to talk to people.

Even though I barely knew these people they became friends in the modern way people become friends where you see them every day, but are also shocked to find out any detail of their personal lives. I often wonder what happened to all the people I played with. I never said bye to them or anything. I wasn’t planning on never playing again. One day it just happened.

I’ve often thought about playing again. When WoW Classic came out I thought about playing it. I’ve even thought about getting into FF14. But you can never go home, right? Some things that were good can’t be good again.

Inside (2016)

God, this is extremely my shit. I don’t have anything touching or personal to say about this. Every moment of this game is so tight and perfect, and the aesthetic is spot on. Run on, my child, go be one with your blob friends.

Or maybe I just like it because I too am a disgusting blob monster haunted by a dreary dilapidated landscape.

Firewatch (2016)

The plot of this game is messy overall, but I think about the character interactions all the time. This is a perfect example on how good dialogue isn’t realistic. It should be what we want reality to be. Henry and Delilah have such a believable relationship, strictly because I wanted to believe in it. I wanted to believe two people could always be so perfect and so witty.

And Firewatch just won’t let you believe in it. At the end you can beg and beg for Delilah to stay, and she won’t. The game gently pats you on the head, and says, sometimes people are too broken to be perfect with each other.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (2015)

The PC version lets you set custom music to play as you drop in from the helicopter for your missions. This led to me hearing the beginning to Thursday’s Friends in the Armed Forces god knows how many times. Sure, maybe a 2009 emo song blaring out of a helicopter in 1980’s Afghanistan doesn’t exactly fit, but the mood fit. And it helped set the mood for the routine of going on missions.

Routine is what this game does so well. It’s an incomplete game with a not great story, and it fails at being a good Metal Gear Solid game. But the routine and mechanics blend together to create one of the best playing action games ever made. I never got tired of walking around my base, of boarding my helicopter to go drop into the desert, of launching random animals into the air with reverse parachutes.

This game also led to me formulating my Return To/Go Out theory of games, which I believe most games fall into. An old Mario game is a great example of a Go Out game. You never return anywhere; the princess is always in another castle. The Animal Crossing games maybe exist as the perfect example of a Return To game because you never even go out anywhere. You’re always there, where you mean to be. MGSV falls mostly on the Return To side of the spectrum, as it focuses on building up and managing your base and the people on it, something I���ll always be a sucker for.

Her Story (2015)

This is one of the last games that made me feel smart. As a person who feels chronically dumb as shit, that’s pretty rare. Sure, everyone in my life, and the university I went to, and all my grades say I’m not dumb. But we know that’s just because I tricked them all, and I’m actually a complete fool. But diving into this game’s wild and twisting non-linear story made me feel like a detective.

The Witcher 3 (2015)

Move out of the way Skyrim. The Witcher 3 was actually the best fantasy game of the decade. I played through all of The Witcher 2 in preparation for 3. I became so invested and involved with this universe. I feel like I should have so much more to say about this. In what was a very turbulent year of my life, this was the perfect escape. The world, writing, and characters are all so beautifully done. The DLC provides an emotional finale for the story. I never understood Gwent? But I did everything else in this game, and I still think about escaping into it again.

Also Triss for life.

Also also god, that show sucks shit though, doesn’t it?

Life is Strange (2015)

I love everything about Life is Strange. I love the melodrama, the stilted dialogue, the songs that still make me cry. I love the weird high school that resembles no high school ever. I’m not too much of a fan about what it says about me as a person though.

See, I let the entire town die to save Chloe. The crazy part is that I didn’t even think Max and Chloe were good together. When the game gave me a chance to kiss Chloe, I didn’t take it. I thought they had been apart too long, that they had too much personal baggage, that they were going through too much. But when the moment came I couldn’t let her go. I let the entire town get blown away to save her.

Transistor (2014)

Hey, do you want a cyberpunk, post-rock fueled, murder revenge love story?

Transistor had such an impact on me that Red and the Transistor are still my phone’s wallpaper and lockscreen. It’s the game I always mean to get around to playing again, but year after year I don’t. Maybe one day I will, or maybe that’s just what I tell myself about most things in life.

Regardless, this game acts as a perfect spiritual sequel to the studio’s first game, Bastion. In Bastion, everyone wanted to live in the perfect world that had been, but was now destroyed. In Transistor, the world exists - it’s there and could theoretically become whatever people want, and yet, no one wants to live in it. You’re not even trying to save the world; you want escape as much as anyone else. You just need revenge for the small part of your personal world that has been taken.

Also, at the end you get to basically fight yourself, and I’m such a sucker for when games have you fight someone with the same powers as you.

Gone Home (2013)

I had never been in love when I played this game. I thought I had, but being a teenager is dumb and weird. Of all the first times I wish I could experience again in games, this is up there on that list. Maybe even the top. Mainly because I understand love now, and I think it would make this game hurt more.

Both times I played Gone Home I sobbed, and I’m certain if I played it again, I would sob again. This was the first game to impact me in that way. As I’ve grown more and more dead inside, as I feel less and less, I seek those experiences out. Why yes, I would like to play whatever the sad new indie game is. Why yes, I would like to listen to that song that makes me emotional over and over. That scene in a show made me cry? Yes, I will absolutely watch it again.

Gone Home, like Spec Ops, taught me so much about what games could be and do. In a decade of walking simulators, Gone Home still stands out as one of the best.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf (2013)

Animal Crossing is the best goddamn game series of all time, and this is the best one because you can stack fruit.

Hotline Miami (2012)

I have never done cocaine in the 80’s, but that’s pretty much this game, right? This murder simulator game does something to your body on like, a visceral level. Imagine it’s like your 20th attempt on a level. Your hands are shaking with adrenaline, but you have a careful plan. It immediately goes bad so you just panic and start running around knifing fools and it somehow works out anyway. That’s the thing that makes this work so well, and also the thing the devs absolutely did not understand when they made Hotline Miami 2.

You know what else makes this game great? The vibes. Miss me with your vibe checks if you’re not putting off Hotline Miami vibes. It’s the trippy and psychedelic story, it’s the way you have to walk through the bodies of everyone you just murked at the end of the level, it’s the game constantly asking if you feel good about what you’re doing. Hotline Miami and Spec Ops made me reevaluate how I thought about violence in games. Which isn’t to say I don’t play violent games, just that I think more about what the games are asking me to do.

Borderlands 2 (2012)

My experience with Borderlands was different than how most people played it. I didn’t really uh, have friends, so I played it alone. But it wasn’t an inferior experience. I got to play my haiku spouting sniper at my own pace. All the guns were mine. I could laugh at the dumb jokes as long as I wanted.

Hey wait, actually, is this game still funny? If I thought it was extremely funny originally, would it still hold up? Like, Mr. Satan being Mr. Torgue still has to be funny, right?

Anyway, most of the DLC for this game is pretty mediocre or just straight up bad, but the Tiny Tina DLC is some of the best DLC of the decade. Those madmen just made D&D in a goofy ass game where guns yell at you when you shoot them, and somehow made it an emotionally resonant end to the story.

Spec Ops: The Line (2012)

We all really missed what this game was trying to tell us, huh? It constantly asks you if you’re okay with the dehumanization of minorities and the glorification of imperialism and the military that runs rampant through games. Here we are going into 2020, and goobers are still trying to argue games don’t have politics in them. Anyway, gamers are dumb as shit, and we should have listened to Spec Ops more.

Portal 2 (2011)

This came out at the beginning of this decade, huh? Guess I gotta break out the walker and sign up for AARP. Anyway, being funny is hard. I mean, I’ve never managed to be funny so I assume it’s hard. I mean, sometimes my life is funny in a cosmically ironic way, like I’m god’s personal clown and not in on the joke.

Anyway, anyway, the puzzles are fantastic, and Portal 2 is funny as hell in a way I’m pretty sure would still hold up. The humor is definitely more overt than the original Portal, but Cave Johnson is a god tier character. I can’t remember what I did yesterday, and I still remember Cave Johnson lines from like, 8 years ago.

Minecraft (2011)

*twirls mustache* Not to sound like a hipster, but I started playing Minecraft in 2010 before release. My first world seed was the most perfect seed I ever encountered. It was a large island, the size of which, I never encountered again. Like, it was big enough that it felt like I had to branch out to explore, but also small enough that I could know it all. Playing on that island was the most pure experience I had with Minecraft, in retrospect. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I didn’t realize that actually everyone else was way better at building things and playing the game than I was.

But eventually you get bored of everything, right? So I found a server and joined the forums. Over time I grew a bit bored of the game, and eventually realized I wasn’t very good at it. But I stuck around on the forums. Like, for years. Playing on that server, even as my time actually playing lessened, and being on the forums defined my teenage years.

I had a complicated relationship with the forums and the game, though. I’m not good with people. That’s just something I’ve had to learn to accept. But I’ve actually gotten better over the years. Back during my teenage years I was awful with people. I was antisocial, standoffish, pretentious, etc. I also felt like I couldn’t get anyone to like me, which I now realize was my own fault. There was a group of players I wanted to be a part of, but also could never really break into. The game and forums became what I was experiencing and also everything I couldn’t experience. It’s what I did every day but also what I was missing out on. Even today my thoughts on Minecraft are complicated. That one song, you know the one, always makes me emotional.

I originally had a different end planned to whatever this list is. It was gonna be a pretentious ending about how a few years ago I tried to go back and play Minecraft but just couldn’t because you can never go home again. I was gonna talk about my first world seed and the optimism and exploration I experienced, and it was obviously gonna mimic my decade. Because, you know, pretentiousness. But I can’t do that now.

See, I just looked up that server, and I found out it’s still active. The website looks like when I left. The same people are in charge. It’s like a time capsule. Due to a lot of personal turmoil, I asked for a server ban and a forum ban to stop myself getting back on in January 2015. That was when my time with Minecraft came to an end. But here’s the crazy thing: a couple of weeks ago, almost 5 years after I quit, someone posted on my forum profile that they missed me. And we weren’t even close friends, I thought. I mean, no one liked me, right? And it wasn’t just this one person. Multiple people had left similar messages on my profile over the years.

Normally I don’t like when people have memories and perceptions of me. Like, hell is other people, right? But this kind of hurt my insides deep down, like nothing has in a while. I don’t quite have words for it because it’s so personally tied to how I felt about Minecraft, and thus the forums, and thus a lot of this decade. Does this mean that multiple people I’ve encountered over the decade miss me? That some amount of people greater than zero miss me not being around?

Anyway, this has gotten off track, but also maybe it hasn’t. The point I was trying to make was to make a pretentious list about how silly little things we do in our free time can affect us years later in ways we won’t realize and sometimes can’t understand.

In conclusion, games track better with the most personal moments of my decade better than almost anything. Games are great. The people who play them are often terrible. Video games forever.

[viktormaru]

okay here’s my full character analysis??? Headcanons???? canon retelling with my shit slapped on??? on

VIKTOR LEAGUE OF LEGENDS

(under read more cause its gonna get long)

Viktor is said to be born in the borders of the Entresol level of Zaum (aka the middle), but I’m guessing that means the lower border because of how often he’d have to move or stay away from home due to accidents.

I assume Viktor had good parents. They were artisans and seemed to encourage his creative pursuits with robotics and so on. (I also believe he is trans and that his parents supported him in that as well haha).

So yes, we have this child who likes building things. And he lives in this place that is not healthy or safe for the people that live there. His parents probably go to the upper levels to work and Viktor gets a glimpse of a better place there. He sees where he’s at and at first, he is motivated by both kindness and frustration. He is a child with a passion and all these leaks and accidents are getting in the way! So he starts studying to see what he can do. Time passes though and he realizes the extent of those things, the casualities of those humam errors. So he takes his work more seriously and soon he is producing results. But of course no one takes a teen seriously, no matter how good he is.

Until someone does and it works. His inventions are good! So he keeps doing it! He’s awkward and socially anxious but he really LOVES building things so he does it and sells his work to the factories until he gets the attention of the Zaun academy of techmaturgy (this is canon btw). 

He goes into the academy and he’s.... awkward... Like, Zaun is full of weird people sure but Viktor is pretty bad at talking about anything but robotics and stuff and comes off as blunt often, so he’s kinda isolated by his peers. He doesn’t mind, he’s there to study. But professor stanwick approaches him with interest in his work and Viktor is happy he is recognized by a professional. He’s a little naive back then and trusts his teacher a lot. Which is why he is convinced to move to Piltover, despite a bit of his reluctance to leave his home. His parents wave him goodbye and he leaves.

He moves to Piltover and gets a better lab, more tools, more money and more people to help. His work just improves in time and he’s put to work with a lot of people. He once again fails incredibly of socializing properly and falls into isolation yet again (hello darkness my old friend). People end up working with him either because he’s really the best option or because they can stand him for the time he is needed {:- (

Well, that is, until he works with Jayce. Jayce is infurating and doesn’t do things the way Viktor likes doing and has this weird outlook on how things are done that sometimes just works despite it all. He’s a puzzle that doesn’t make sense and the two end up doing a lot of things together. And having a lot of discussions. A LOT of them. They are both kinda lonely. But its like.. they don’t dislike eachother?? Because they kind skipped some steps in how socializing usually goes so it just kinda worked. 

They could’ve kept going, getting comfortable in eachother’s spaces until they could just go out to chill together or something but neither of them was brave enough to try it (or smart enough to realize that could be good). 

But then at this time that awful chem spill happened in Zaun in the entresol level and Viktor rushes home to help.

I’d say this is where Viktor’s character starts like, solidifying I guess? Because I think for the first time, as a grown mature person, Viktor is seeing death and suffering with his own eyes. Death and suffering that could’ve been avoided. He’s watching all these people die and suffer and he can only do so much to repair the damage. If only it could’ve been avoided, could’ve been stopped. He knows it’s possible. Why didn’t anyone do it? 

He doesn’t find his parents either.

So he spends the next several months throwing all his energy and sanity into doing whatever he can to help these people. He builds blitzcrank and they fix evertyhign they can. It’s a fucking CHEM spill, can you imagine just how AWFUL it all was?? people were dying for several weeks after the accident , even after the damage to the structures were already fixed. These people were slowly suffering around him and he was trying and they kept dying around him. These are workers, families. It’s a pretty bad situation.

He learnes how to infuse mechanical parts with flesh in an astonishing way just to try to replace the rotten, sick parts of the people around him. Get rid of the parts that were kiling them.

And then! He finally goes back to Piltover, after it all, and the first thing he gets is the news that Stanwick stole credits on his invention of Blitzcrank.

Like.. the emotional toll of it all? He’s tired! He’s burdened with the ammount of death he saw and people wanna be shitty and play games like that for glory and fame! It’s stupid and he doesn’t understand it! He tries to fight for his right and loses because no one really bothered to support him through it (Jayce didn’t think he’d really have to and would you look at that).

He’s angry and upset and grieving and possibly traumatized. He keeps wondering why would people do that to eachother and comes up empty. So he’s here, obsessing with replacing every part of human error to garantee that people WILL live. Of course, he’s more isolated then ever and people don’t bother to sit down and listen, they just think he’s weird and obsessed and stuff like that.

So when he needs to do the colaboration on the dive suits with Jayce and they have their fight about free will, people side with Jayce quickly. They think Viktor is mad and they had seen it coming miles away. 

He gets fucking expelled from the Piltover academia and sent back to Zaun.

To his ruined home, alone, with nothing but his name and his thoughts.

Clearly that leads him into a deep depression. After all, he lost everything but he doesn’t understand why ! because sure these people in piltover like acting high and mighty and theorizing and politicizing but they didn’t have to watch children crying because they were coughing so much blood was coming out because their lungs were corroded and they wouldnt last another week. They thought viktor was mad. 

And viktor had a lot of time to wallow over it, and think about his failures and suffer on his own and he’s actual conclusion is that negative emotions ( envy, pride, sadness) clouded people’s judgemetns. They’d let others suffer for their own gain out of fear of losing. 

He thought that himself feeling sadness was just another obstacle to do what he had to: save people.

So he basically starts operating on himself until he can barely feel emotions anymore, removing his own happiness with it (but its not like he felt it anyway so what difference did it make). And then he starts plunging into work like never before, dedicated to this new cause that is the glorious evolution. He starts again from the bottom and once again he rises, because Viktor is a genious, and he is honest in his work, in his intentions. He wants to help.

 People were scared of the Mad Man Viktor, but Viktor would do anything he could to save you if you came to him. He understood limits though, he never imposed over people. Do no harm, as they say ( what would be the point of doing that?? )

And then the other toxic even happens in Sump, another really bad one, and Viktor rushes in to help. He’s keeping these people alive in his lab but he knows he doesnt have the power to keep them so. So he goes to Jayce after an energy source.

He thinks Jayce will listen to him now, now Viktor isn’t emotive and easily hurt, now he isn’t insecure, he has a cause, he has something he fights for. A brighter tomorrow.

And Jayce calls him mad. 

Viktor is kind of dissapointed, he’d think Jayce, who has always been so uncaring of people’s opinion’s would at least try to understand. He doesn’t. So he takes the crystal by force from Jayce (petty arguments can be saved for later, those people on his lab needed him NOW).

When Jayce follows him there with a hammer he understands the stakes. 

One life against hundreds is an easy math. Viktor chooses to sacrifice Jayce (Jayce chose to come here after all)

But then Jayce actually destroys his lab.

And like... imagine waking up to your laboratory destroyed, just dozens of corpses of innocent people laying around. yet another failure, yet another big price to pay.

He has to start from zero again. His reputation is completely stepped on ( he is truly crazy now by everyone’s eyes) and Jayce is a hero. Blitzcrank sticks around for a little while, moved by the same passion to help people, but blitzcrank can stand the deaths and the gruesomeness of viktor’s work, he leaves to try to help in other ways. Viktor lets him of course, blitz has free will and he isn’t anyone to stop him. 

Some people, desperate people, still come to him for help. He does his best to give them what they need. A strange cult forms and idolizes him, he hates it, he is no god, he is just another man. People thinking of him as an etheral being just proves his theory on how fear and wayward emotions lead to dumb, dangerous mistakes.

In the end, Viktor is trying to cheat suffering, cheat death at all costs.

I don’t believe he sent any golems or anything after Jayce, vengence is way too beneath him. Stealing? Maybe not, depends. I think Jayce became a bit paranoid after “defeating” viktor. Because Viktor said some big words and Jayce is suddenly realizing that truly, he has no purpose. He’s just a useless tool. He makes things sure, but what for? He’s raised as a hero but damn he doesn’t feel like it.

And to end it all, this is why I think Ekko and Viktor should sit down and chat at some point. They are so similar and so different all at once. They both love Zaun and its people, they both wanna protect them and have a passion for inventing. But while Viktor wants to reject his human side to achieve his goals, Ekko embraces it. Like, I don’t think Viktor shouldn’t even be his mentor, more like his colleague. Ekko is his own person and has a different way of doing things, but they could do a lot together as well. 

Also Ekko and Blitz are totally friends in canon so like.. yeah.. Zaun for life....

Anyway this is it thank tou all for reading this is UUUH like 1,8k words long 

extras or stuff I already said and will say again:

viktor is trans

he was an anxious yet hopeful (and maybe a bit naive) teenager

he still loves sweet things and thats canon.. he likes chilling sometimes

workaholic as seen

blames himself for literally everything like a dumbass

is kinda of very afraid of death in general

is not the kind of person that steals children to experiment on them cmon guys thats propaganda

is embarrassed of the cult following him

i guess he doesnt have his whole left arm anymore, chop chop it went

USED braces as  kid

loves blitzcrank like a son, doesnt realize it

I think thats all, sorry yall

[urbanteeth]

Novel Prep

Thanks to @dimawriting and @maple-writes for tagging me!!

WIP: The Inbetween

Tagging: @drist-n-dither @theforgottencoolkid @minny-santa and uhh anyone else who sees this!

This gets pretty long so I’ll put it under a read more.

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

The crew members abroad the Perseus Space Station were tasked with investigating the first signs of early human-like civilization on an exoplanet. The truth behind the ruins scattered across the dying planet, however, is stranger, darker, older than anything they ever expected. 

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

As of right now, The Inbetween is a single book divided into 5ish parts. The POV will be third person. Still not sure if I want to switch between characters for each chapter or if I want each of the 5 parts told through the perspective of one of the main characters. I am playing with the idea of a sequel. I also want to write about the before and after the events of The Inbetween. There are also at least two AUs running around my mind so I might explore those too.

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Dark skies full of stars, floating weightlessly, lonely planets, geometry, singularity, the smallness of existence, amorphous shadows on the wall, empty corridors, static, flickering lights, hearts racing from adrenaline, the taste of blood in your mouth as you run for your life

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

The Inbetween originated from me wanting to take some of my unused characters beyond them just being characters. The earliest drafts of The Inbetween were short stories inspired by Wolfgun’s music. The story eventually grew into what it is now thanks to a few episodes of Star Trek and Welcome to Nightvale. Lots of the scenes I currently have written were born from daydreaming to Carbon Based Lifeforms’s music. I would say CBL has had the biggest influence on the story.

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

This one is for the last part of the book.

Main Character

6. Who is your protagonist?

There are five protagonists:

Emmett Reyes: Mexican-American, 19 (at the beginning of the story), aro/ace, trans, biologist

Johann Herschel: British-German, 20 (at the beginning of the story), bi, nonbinary, pilot and navigator

Neveen Jalal: Egyptian-American, 19 (at the beginning of the story), lesbian, chemist, starship medic, lowkey inspired by my high school chem teacher

Oliver West: Korean-Canadian, 20 (at the beginning of the story), gay, mechanic

Alternis: A.I., years active unknown, primarily used for security and scouting 

7. Who is their closest ally?

Their closest allies would be each other. Here’s some specific friendships:

Overall: they grow as close as family. Nothing like a near death experience out in the middle of the cold, indifferent void to make five kids bond for life. 

Neveen + Emmett: Nerd friends! With him being a biologist and her becoming a medic, they share a love for the subject. They bond over their love for their cultures. They teach each other words in their native tongues. 

 Johann + Emmett + Oliver: Partners in crime!! These three are as ride or die as you can get with a group of friends. While Johann isn’t always keen on the chaos, he still goes along with it because “who’s going to serve as your guys’s impulse control???” Secretly, he loves it. 

Oliver + Johann: Oliver becomes pretty supportive of all his friends and his relationship with Johann is no different. Oliver makes for a pretty good listener and he doesn’t mind hearing about his friend’s worries. He’ll offer some pretty good advice as well. 

Neveen + Oliver: Oliver is, without a doubt, the most social of all the crew members. Unlike him, however, Neveen is the exact opposite. He will respect her space if she needs it, but he is also there to make sure she doesn’t lose herself in it. In a lot of ways, he reminds Neveen of her own sister.

Emmett + Alternis: These two form a pretty close bond. Both share feelings of becoming static in life. Both struggle with insecurity and general feelings of anxiety that they are not good enough. However, they both also share a deep curiosity for the world around them. She likes to ask him questions knowing he won’t brush them off and he feels comfortable enough to ramble on about whatever subject is most interesting to him knowing that she is willing to listen with interest herself.

Bonus: 

Commander Mitch Connor + his crew: At first, Mitch was pretty hesitant to be this mission’s commander. They’re all kids, two of them fresh out of high school almost. However, he quickly learns that this crew is more than capable. They’re adaptable and fiercely resilient. They know how to use their strengths to their advantage and do so creatively. Most importantly, though, they genuinely care about each other.

8. Who is their enemy?

The story’s main antagonist is a weird hivemind entity that is partially made from various alien life forms and part alien tech. It’s main purpose is to find creatures its programming deems perfect specimens and then merge with (eat???) them to take on their abilities. The creature was once a technologically advanced alien race from a different dimension who sought to create the “perfect being”. No one’s really sure what “perfect being” meant for them, but eventually they, and most of their old universe, were all consumed by their creation. The entity then traveled across many other dimensions still seeking specimens to consume. While it has no definite shape or can even be considered a single animal, it’s still very much sapient. It’s hard to tell the age or if it was supposed to be machine or animal or even what species it originally was. However, the minds and voices of its creators live on with it. 

If you want an idea as to how it sounds, it’s a little like the Warpers from Subnautica but with multiple voices. Here’s a clip. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

They all have different dreams that they are pursuing, but they basically all want a life where they can be happy and have closure.

Emmett wants to be at peace with himself.

Johann wants to find a place that he can call home.

Oliver wants to protect the little he already has.

Neveen wants to achieve her dreams.

Alternis wants to belong.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Emmett is, first of all, much too doubting in himself. He worries so much that he can’t appreciate the things he has done right or the things he can do. He isn’t very kind to himself.

Johann misses the life he had on Earth. He and his family moved to a new planet because they don’t really like Earth and want to experience something new. But Johann never feels the same sense of “home” as he did on Earth. 

Oliver’s job is helping out his mother with their repair shop. So, when the shop is threatened with closure, he is desperate to find another job, but since he dropped out and never finished school, he’s having a really hard time coming up with something that will provide enough. This is why he ends up joining the space program. 

Neveen is in a somewhat similar boat. She has dreams of working as a doctor and all of her time and effort goes into studying for that. She, however, ends up getting rejected from three different schools in her area. She starts to feel like time is somehow running out for her.

Alternis has had a hard time. When she didn’t fit the expectations her creators set, she quickly discovered that her differences were seen as something flawed. She spent a lot of her early days either alone and she grew to be resentful towards people. But she wants to be accepted, so when they told her she was to be assigned to the Perseus Station, she had a lot of mixed feelings about the situation. 

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Emmett: not smart/good enough, not allowed to make mistakes

Neveen: her success determines her worth, has to do things just right or Else

Oliver: dumb for dropping out of college, is not much other than the comic relief in his friend group

Johann: thinks he can run from facing what’s really bothering him

Alternis: needs to have a purpose to be worth something to others, needs to change to be accepted

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Emmett: 5′2, curly brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, a scar running from jaw to cheek, there’s a picture @auroradrawing made here!

Neveen: 5′5, long black hair, brown eyes, dark skin, red hijab

Johann: 6′2. dark blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin

Oliver West: 5′10, black hair, brown eyes, pale skin

Alternis:  i made a post on her appearance here

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

I would say that the overall internal conflict for all the characters is them struggling to understand that they are human which means that they are allowed to be wrong, make bad decisions, have emotions, and fail and none of this undermines their value in any way.

14. What is the external conflict?

The main external conflict is survival. They come into contact with a powerful interdimensional creature who is possibly hundred of thousands of years old or more and they have no idea how to stop it. After their station and only way home gets destroyed and they find themselves stranded with no way to let anyone know what’s happening, they realize that they have to find a way to at least repel the creature as it’s not just their survival at stake, but also that of their friends and family back on Earth.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Death, probably. There’s a lot of things that would be left undone and unsaid and also literally no one else knows what is going on, so it could be a while before anyone back home realizes they’re never coming back. And that thought is one of the scariest things they can imagine.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Basically the purpose of the entity and them figuring out what it is and what it wants changes everything they were led to believe at first about the planet and the origin of the ruins.

17. Do you know how it ends?

Yes. They all get a happy ending because I’m done with the sad shit. Also happy endings are good?? Like give me more happy endings dammit! They go through so much shit and get tested so much, like, they deserve their happy ending. 

Bits and Bobs

18. What is the theme? 

You are stronger than you think. Let yourself be flawed. Things might not be okay, but they will work out. You have a place in the universe, no matter how small. Tomorrow is a new day.

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?

Darkness, geometry/symmetry, fire (?),static, lots of the names of things have meaning behind them

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

There are two made up planets on which this story takes place. The first planet is Thesan-4. This planet is a desert-like planet. It’s in the Milky Way for sure, but I haven’t exactly figured out where yet. This planet is primarily used for military/astronaut training. At least 40% of the story will take place here. The other planet is an icy, Earth-like planet. I call this planet the Mirror World in my head but the actual name is pending. Here is where the remains of early civilization are found and this is where the Perseus crew is assign for their mission. At least 60% of the story will take place here.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Hell yeah! Scenes and a general outline are all I have right now. A lot of the little details are still pretty vague though.

22. What excited you about this story?

Oh man, is “everything” an answer? I always wanted to write a story set in space, but my biggest issue was finding a good plot. Like, I had the characters and I had some vague idea of a setting, but no actual plot or conflict. This story spent a lot of time on the back burner and I honestly thought about abandoning it a few times. However, it has come to grow so much and I’m really happy I didn’t abandon it. I love the lore behind the antagonist and the character interactions and uhhh well damn. Everything!

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

I think the very first thing I come up with is either the setting or the characters. Then, I make the characters that I feel would go best with the setting or vice versa. Other details like names and stuff come way later. 99% of my writing process is music. If I need a certain mood for a scene, I’ll put on some music that fits and I’ll listen to it a few times before actually writing. I find that this helps me come up with scenes so I don’t really struggle at that. Putting them down on paper is harder lol, especially when I can see at least three different ways to write the opening. But once I start writing, everything flows much easier.

[letterboxd]

Loopy.

Andy Siara, writer of time-loop romcom Palm Springs, talks to Ella Kemp about having one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave, and the expansive magic of being a ‘desert person’.

If you could re-live a perfect day again and again, would you do it? Would you be alone, or would it be better if your favorite person in the world was with you? Would the endless company, repetitive and increasingly claustrophobic, make you snap?

There’s a reason that time-loop movies tend to favor loners: watch as the hapless hero has to figure out the meaning of life! Harold Ramis’ 1993 comedy Groundhog Day is the gold standard for the device—Bill Murray trapped in a bizarre national holiday that’s become a universal adjective (which feels especially apt now). But Palm Springs, the new film from The Lonely Island comedy team, finds a way to dismantle the genre, play around with the ingredients, and cook up something entirely new.

There is still a time loop, we’re all still stuck, but here’s the thing: we’re stuck with two people now. Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti are wedding guests Nyles and Sarah—he, someone’s random boyfriend people pretend to know; she, the reluctant maid of honor and sister of the bride. Through one freak twist of fate involving a cave, they end up reliving the same wedding day, taking advantage of the daily ‘reset’ to throw as much life at the wall as they can, while probing every possible escape route.

It’s a first for the genre, and a first film for the writer-director team (Samberg produces the film alongside his Lonely Island brothers Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer, who have years of glorious Saturday Night Live sketches and comedy specials under their belts). Director Max Barbakow cut his teeth making short films for the past decade—just like his closest collaborator, debut feature screenwriter Andy Siara.

Barbakow and Siara developed the story together over five years, and then Siara turned it into the fast-paced, razor-sharp, at once feather-light and often deeply moving script that became Palm Springs.

Cristin Milioti and Andy Samberg in ‘Palm Springs’.

A quick scan of Letterboxd activity finds plenty of fans already. Jacob recognizes the paradoxical brilliance of the film, calling it a “high-concept romcom that wears its influences on its sleeve”, while still praising how it’s “so smart moment to moment that it absolutely feels like its own original story”. What makes this so special, so fresh—a movie about one day on repeat, released during, you know, a global pandemic, that neat event that makes so many homebound days blur into one—is just how much heart it has. “The little moments, the little cues, the timing,” Neema Sadeghi points out. “Everything felt so right and my heart was so so warmed.”

The following interview contains discussion of plot points and soundtrack choices, and has been edited for clarity.

Could you tell me about your relationship with Groundhog Day, before and after writing Palm Springs? Andy Siara: Before and after, I still consider it one of the greatest, if not the greatest comedy of all time. Doing a time-loop thing in this movie was never initially the idea, five years ago when Max and I first started talking about it. It organically evolved to that point. What was helpful to me was thinking about how at the end of Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character figures out the meaning of life, to a point, and it ends with the time loop breaking. In our film, Nyles figures out whatever he thinks the meaning of life is, and at the end, nope, the time loop doesn’t break, you’re still stuck here for eternity. So then what do you do? That became the jumping off point. Palm Springs is potentially a sequel to a movie that doesn’t exist, and that helped free myself of repeating too much of what the time-loop genre, and especially Groundhog Day, has done so well.

If the time loop wasn’t the starting point, what was? Nyles. Max and I knew we wanted to do a tiny-budget movie in Palm Springs. We didn’t know what that was, but the first idea was of this character of Nyles. We never outlined anything, so we let the character lead the way. In doing that, I got a full grasp of who he is on a deep level and everything else built from there. We never once were like, “This is a wedding time-loop romcom about two lost souls!” Max and I joked that the earlier version of this was our version of Leaving Las Vegas. The story grew from Nyles, thinking: ‘What is the best way to deeply challenge this flawed character?’ And that’s where we came up with Sarah, who became even more fully realized. And the best way to challenge her was Nyles. Putting those two characters together and seeing the friction it causes, the story grew around that.

Their dynamic, and the film more broadly, feels very philosophical. I’m thinking of a line like “Your best bet is to learn to suffer existence”. When you were writing, were there any conscious thinkers you wanted to incorporate? Max and I talked a lot about Albert Camus, and Jorge Luis Borges… but when I got to actually writing, Max gave me his copy of Be Here Now by Ram Dass. His copy, when he gave it to me, had over 100 Post-it notes. We’d talked in abstract ways in a philosophical sense, about individuation and what not. But every day before writing I’d take Be Here Now and open up at any page, read a page to kickstart the day. I think even that idea of suffering existence, that might actually be in Be Here Now…

Quyen Tran (operating camera) and director Max Barbakow (right) on the set of ‘Palm Springs’.

It felt so refreshing to see these characters delivering such epic lines seriously, but the film never becomes somber or dramatic. It stays light. Comedy is balanced with sincere emotion so well—especially when it comes to romance. In a scene outside the cave, when Nyles is giving his big speech, he says, “I’d rather die with you than live in this world without you.” Reading this out of context, it could be from an epic romance. How did you manage to marry the wit with such big feelings? That is one of the lines that, read out of context, could feel heavy-handed, so I appreciate that! From the get-go, it was important to set the tone of this movie, that we will never take ourselves too seriously. Max and I would joke about having one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave, being able to go from slapstick to serious was always an important tonal shift for us. There’s a silliness to the movie, and so therefore with those lines, my hope is that even in reading the script, by the time you get to a line like that, you as a reader would know what Nyles is like in your mind. Also, I credit Andy Samberg for knowing how to deliver lines like that without them feeling cheesy. When we first met Andy and the Lonely Island guys, he understood this character, by the end better than I did. The character was just words on a page, a figure that existed in my mind. He created this character.

What did you learn from working with the Lonely Island guys, in terms of taking inspiration from their comedy experience while creating something brand new? By the time it got to them, the script was finished to a point that I was happy with. But Max and I didn’t know that much! So those three guys, and Becky Sloviter who was the producer for them, they know so much more than we did. We were able to not only on the practical side make people want to make this movie, but also on the other side, I’d say primarily in third-act stuff, they helped me dig deeper, and find a satisfying conclusion to the movie where the earlier version of the script just wasn’t as satisfying—you still got to the point, but we were able to mess with the mechanics a little bit more. And they got me to dig deeper on the science part too, where I let this journey into the subconscious via a Jungian, individuation approach maybe take hold a little too much!

I’m not very familiar with Palm Springs as a place. What was the appeal to build everything around this specific location? Both Max and I grew up in Southern California, and since the late 1980s I’ve been going to Palm Springs every year—my aunt had a condo out there. The place is a primarily LA retreat, with golf courses and retirement communities. Over the years, it’s just become a place for a lot of weddings to happen. So there’s that side, my own personal history of having seen the change and having gone there so many times over the past 34 years. I remember camping trips to Joshua Tree [National Park]—and I also got married in Palm Springs and went out to countless friends’ weddings there. But then also, I think there are mountain people, desert people, city people. I think I’m a desert person. There’s this mass openness that I find has a magical quality to it. Even if I don’t believe in magic, there’s somehow a magical solitude that comes in the desert. And there’s all sorts of literature, even going into pseudo-science, that is centered around the desert. Specifically the one surrounding Palm Springs.

Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti in ‘Palm Springs’.

It feels like a blank canvas on which anything can happen—and if anything, having more space can make you more anxious about being trapped there. I agree. And I had written two Gram Parsons songs into the script, and he was also drawn to the desert in the 1970s, [the] Joshua Tree area. He wrote a lot there with Keith Richards. There’s some kind of draw to the desert that I don’t totally understand to be honest, it’s on a deeper subconscious level that it strikes that chord for me.

Speaking of the music, the film has so many satisfying needle drops. I’m thinking of Leonard Cohen’s ‘The Partisan’ and then Kate Bush’s ‘Cloudbusting’ in that amazing final scene. Were these written in from the start? A lot of songs were written in from the start that didn’t make it in for various reasons. ‘Cloudbusting’ came up in our first or second meeting with Andy—it was his idea and we were like, that’s perfect! Andy and Max [and I] all wanted to make sure Palm Springs didn’t use songs we had seen a million times in other movies. It was so important to us. And then we also wanted songs that spoke to a more magical quality too. I think the Leonard Cohen one was Cristin’s idea, so it was a very collaborative field, but we all knew what kind of stuff we wanted. It was about thinking, let’s try and find a sonic happy place.

What film first made you want to be a filmmaker? Jurassic Park is my number one. It made me want to do everything.

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‘Palm Springs’ is streaming on Hulu from July 10 and screening at select drive-ins. With thanks to NEON.

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi-Review

After the earth shattering success of The Force Awakens, Lucasfilm guides the third trilogy of Star Wars films to its middle installment with The Last Jedi. Writer and director Rian Johnson imbues the film with a unique sense of discovery, strange wonder, and fun. In the process, he has crafted one of the most artistically daring films in the franchise since The Empire Strikes Back even if it does have occasional hiccups in pacing and plot structure.

(Review contains minor spoilers.)

With the destruction of both the New Republic and Starkiller Base, The First Order and the Resistance find themselves on close to equal ground. However, in an attempt to escape from their hidden base on D’Qar, Leia Organa’s (Carrie Fisher) rebellion finds itself tailed at every turn by a relentless First Order war machine lead by her son, Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), and the contemptuous General Hux (Domnhall Gleeson). When an attempt to strike back lead by hot shot pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) goes disastrously wrong and Resistance leadership is wounded, a new mission is formed that sends Finn (John Boyega) and mourning mechanic, Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), on the hunt for a mysterious slicer that may be able to help the fleet slip away. Meanwhile, Rey (Daisy Ridley) has managed to locate Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), the last of the Jed in the hopes of finding direction and training for an increasingly hostile world.

There is a certain strangeness and unique quality to The Last Jedi. While many criticized The Force Awakens for being overly reverential of its predecessors at the cost of a unique narrative, Johnson takes the franchise to its almost breaking point limit in the series’ eighth numbered installment. Whether it be through its atypical narrative structure, franchise first visual cues, abundant humor, or the frequent breaks from expectation, The Last Jedi is a different form of Star Wars film than we are used to. Audiences and critics who have become worried that Disney and Lucasfilm have become too complacent in their shepherding of the Star Wars brand may rest easy. The Last Jedi is a film that takes risks, and while not all of them may payoff, it is to be commended that it takes them in the first place.

Sure to be among the highest points of contention among viewers is the portrayal of the series’ most iconic characters, Luke Skywalker. After sitting out almost the entirety of The Force Awakens, Mark Hamill finally receives the opportunity to dig back into the most iconic role of his career and to one of the most beloved heroes in a generation. One of the smartest twists in Johnson’s script comes with the playing of expectations for this. Luke is a broken man and has become that way for a reason. In particular, The Last Jedi continues the Sequel Trilogy’s smart meta-narrative. These films, perhaps more so than any other set of Star Wars media, are keenly aware of the legacy in which they play and it factors into the narrative. Within the Galaxy Far, Far Away and in real life, the characters of Luke, Leia, Han, and, even, Darth Vader have become legends. They mean something to how people perceive the world and galaxy. Johnson crafts a Luke that is cracking under the pressure of the legacy, but in the process creates a strong message on the importance of heroes and what they can mean to the downtrodden and society in conflict. It makes for one of the film’s strongest through points and this is done in no small part due to Hamill’s terrific performance. Hamill not only finds a wonderful balance in updating his iconic character to a new era of his life, but by balancing measures of sorrow, anger, and grumpy humor. It’s a unique character take that will no-doubt irk some fans, but is crafted lovingly and with a strong attention to the series’ mission and to the humanity of character.

Paired with Luke is the still lost Rey. Ridley’s former scavenger and would-be Jedi finds herself at an emotional crossroads. Not only has she been abandoned by her parents for decades on a junk world, but she finds her one hope for direction and future despondent and decidedly disinterested. Ridley utilizes this confusion and frustration to craft a heroine that is more confused and at times vulnerable. While her determination and passion from The Force Awakens rings through, Rey this time brings with her a strong sense of vulnerability and confusion and it makes for a harrowing character arc.

Similarly, the decision to pair Rey’s story off with Kylo Ren is sure to raise some eyebrows. Luckily, Johnson’s script, although it does tease up against some dicey possibilities, avoids any unfortunate trappings and keeps the connection between both character’s fraught and uneasy. They see similarities in their shared frustrations and confusion, but they are still two people who are fundamentally separated on the bound of morality. As a result, Adam Driver continues to craft Kylo Ren into one of the franchise’s most successful villains. While he lacks the campy sneer of Palpatine or the undeniable dramatic gravitas of Dart Vader, Driver’s Kylo has is marked by his unpredictability and instability. As a result, he’s a villain that feels disturbingly human and volatile and it makes each scene he is a part of particularly fascinating. All of this pays off in a stellar throne room confrontation between Kylo, Rey, and Andy Serkis’s Supreme Leader Snoke that marks the film’s clear action highlight.

On the side of the resistance, it is the pairing of Poe Dameron and Leia Organa that shine through the most. Oscar Isaac’s charming X-Wing pilot was a clear crowd pleaser in The Force Awakens and Johnson smartly expands upon his role here. Like Rey, Poe is challenged by having is comfort zone stripped away from. He loses his ride, his promotion, and in the process has to contend with an impersonal new leadership headed by Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo. In the process, Johnson crafts a tense interstellar military drama that feels not unlike early episodes of the 2000’s reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Poe is forced to face his place as a leader and not as a hero and it makes for a strong character arc that is often peppered by stellar space battle sequences that are visually stunning and among some of the best in the franchise. While Luke functions as Rey’s mentor, Leia does the same for Poe. While her performance is filled with an additional sense of loss and gravity given her tragic passing late last year, Carrie Fisher’s take on Leia Organa here is nothing short of stellar. Balancing inspiring military leadership and legendary symbol with the same snark she came to be known as, The Last Jedi provides Leia with some of her best material and some moments that are sure to make fans gasp and well up with tears.

The greatest failing of The Last Jedi ultimately comes from a middle act that at times feels aimless and overly cluttered. There are numerous moving parts and an extensive ensemble cast that branches off to multiple locations and teams. It’s inevitable that one story will feel lost in the shuffle and that, unfortunately, comes down to Finn and Rose. John Boyega and Kelly Marie Tran as a general rule are a joy to watch. Boyega carries the same enthusiasm and excitement that made him so infectious in The Force Awakes and Tran is inspirational in her quiet moments of grief and casual heroics. Their sojourn to the casino world of Canto Bight carries with it a smart air of political restlessness to it. Having two characters played by actors of color comment on the ugly class hypocrisy that a casino world built on the exploitation of the weak is a smart and worthy statement for today’s political environment and it does a good job to cloud the world that the series currently finds itself thrown into. That being said, the lengthy sequence on Canto Bight including a less than inspired chase sequence concerning large horse-like creatures called Falthiers feel like the film at its most aimless. At a point where all three major narratives feel stalled, it is the Canto Bight section that feels the most distracted and disinterested despite the stellar design work at hand. It’s unfortunate in that this holds back the pacing of the film but squanders a potentially strong story for two of the film’s leads, one of which was one of the standouts of its predecessor. Luckily, once Finn, Rose, and Benicio Del Toro’s enigmatic “DJ” find themselves aboard the First Order capitol ship everything snaps into place and the film is righted.

Despite its awkward middle, The Last Jedi’s beautifully realized and poignantly emotional final act is among some of the best product the series has ever produced. Filled to the brim with clever twists, standout visuals, dynamic action sequences, and some moments of pure mythic iconography, The Last Jedi achieves something truly special in these final thirty minutes and it is almost enough to justify the sometimes rocky road that got us there.

As a visual whole, The Last Jedi is a success. There are multiple moments off surreal visual effect that are sure to disorient, but in a manner hint towards the more mysterious and at times sinister undertones of the film. It plays into Johnson’s need to play it risky, and the result is a film that is often beautiful to look at and stunning in its realization. The Lucasfilm team also appears to have created a perfect method for blending the practical for the digital in creating a Star Wars universe that feels lived in and accessible but also appropriately alien. There is one effect in particular which is utilized here that is at times beautiful because of its awkward puppetry which is a testament to the team as a whole.

John Williams’s musical score here is a wonderful deep dive into his previous aural landscape that has been developing for decades. While there aren’t as many strong musical cues that are original to this film as a whole, Williams expands upon his work in previous installments to find new ways of exploring the light and the dark, just as the cast and creators at its center.

While it is sure to land with a general air of confusion and maybe even apprehension, some of which may be deserved, The Last Jedi seems destined to only grow and seep into the cultural mindset at times. Even if it is a little rocky, like The Empire Strikes Back, The Last Jedi is a bold, character driven, and emotional saga of a film that takes the franchise to new mythic and creative heights. Now let’s see how JJ ties this whole thing together.

Score: A-