#everyone's fluff and hair has caused me grief tbh

[b0nzeye]

Continuing from before here's the other two WIPS! And other than the usual glaze distortion, any thing that looks odd is me chipping at parts that I am still debating on.

PT.2

[khaleesiofalicante]

Don't know if I have used this already or not: "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." - Oscar Wilde.

God, the first timeline was so fucking sad and painful to read, Robert deserved better😭 I love the growth he had along the story, the way he, at the end, supported Alec and made sure to fight by his side...

But also its so goddamn interesting on the way Alec deals with pain by being hurtful and bitter and hurting others and himself (parallel with Max!!) And they were so close to passign the law!!!😭

"But do they hate people like him this much? Is there hate strong enough to kill?" Unfortuately, yeah...

Rafael not knowing what to do but trying to help makes me emo🥺 Also not them trying to learn spanish for him😭

It doesn’t come out as a cry of pain and agony. That is unfamiliar to him. No. It comes out as something much more familiar. Something easy. I could go on a whole analysis of Alec dealing with pain but akhdkfbdkdjd too much!!!

Magnus was kinda right though, even if he was hurting by seeing Alec hurt too

All this talk about grief, guilt and pain was simply beautiful. It was raw but so beautiful at the same time

Lightwood siblings supremacy only!!! Also yey!!! Izzy is pregnant!!!!!!! 💙💙💙 Just Jace, Izzy, Maryse, Alec..... I LOVE THEM SO MUCH<333

The way he always feels responsible for everyone around him is both beautiful and kinda heartbreaking😭

The scene with Max and Alec.... Fuck it I'm crying🙂

It reaches his face.

The tears start to cascade down his cheek. Alec sobs into Magnus’ shoulder.

Magnus sinks his fingers into Alec’s hair and holds him tightly, gently whispering to him in Indonesian.

Alec doesn’t understand.

But it soothes him anyway.

🥺🥺🥺The way he could find confort and finally let himself fall with Magnus, in this essay I will-

Second Timeline was a bitch. All those therapy sesions, the way Alec keep pushing and pushing but it also hurted Magnus in a way, besides the fact that he is going through an episode

Everyone else felt far away. Rafael had always been there – hovering around him. He is always there. Not me crying everytime I see how they leaned into Rafael without noticing how it affected him🙂🔪

Fuck those therapists!! Also Verlac... Wtf???

Fuck, I have forgotten about the apartment and all the issues it caused, but Magnus did had a point...

“Well, that’s what therapy is! It's exhausting!”  Magnus snaps. “It sucks, okay? Therapy is about holding yourself accountable for your own damn life. It comes with a lot of guilt and responsibility. It’s about getting to the root of your issues which can be triggering as hell. It’s about making yourself vulnerable which is never easy.”

Everything about this is just ✨WOW✨

All that talk does make you realize about the importance of Alec’s work and all the impact he has, he couldn't give up on it!

“Love isn’t enough?” Malcolm chuckles. “It seems to be that you’ve already made your choice.” bro you practiced necromancy, you are not that if a reliable source tbh...

Seeing Scott so suddenly and so randomly and after all these years feels like a sign Maybe he will survive this too. The scene with Scott... Jdhskdbdk I loved it!! I loved the way they have both gone so far in their lives and that they care for each other, but god if that was frustrating as fuck! And Alec was being an asshole about him and Tessa!!

Third timeline cured everything that was wrong with me, fixed my traumas, cleared my skin-

Honestly, it was so beautiful in the way they are trying to heal and help each other in such a healthy way!! God, I know I love angst but I'm also a whore for this fluff!!

I hope Max gets to figure it out. Love him💙

Magnus literally running bc it was late while looking gorgeous as fuck and Alec fixing his shoes is everything that is ok in this life kshsidhdldk💜💜

“And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll keep looking,” Magnus says gently. “I’m not giving up this time.”

///

This man who had taught Alec what happiness feels like.

CAN YOU TWO STOP BEING THE ABSOLUTE BEST?? I AM DROWNING IN FEELS🥺🥺

Jem fucking Carstairs!!! OF course this man is the one that comes and says all this wise and smart things and fixed a lot of things in my life!! I am love him. No one can do it like my boy 😎

All the things about parentification hit to close to home. I didn’t know it existed even!! But god if that was actually really great to read. I actually researched more about it later lmao

The way they care about helping the kids and they are doing something about it to become better parents- fuck, this is amazing🥺

Also all the things about Max and his self-steem and the way he acts like he doesn’t care made me almost cry at my father's office kdhskbdjd

Some of my favorite quotes of my beautiful Jem😍

“But we don’t always feel what we’re supposed to feel, do we?”

"Don’t let your guilt take away his choices.”

“Therapy is not about making things go away, Alec,” Jem says gently. “It’s about to learn how to deal with what exists and learning how to accept what doesn’t.

"Unlike with Rafael, where a lot of his problems were caused externally, Max seems to be struggling with his internal self.”

“Everything I know about love, I learned from my dad and bapak.”

"Who you are now is not who you were four years ago."

Everyone should be scared of Anjali😌

They are both nerds and that is verh sexy of them kdhdidhdkd

Oh my fucking god. That scene😭😭 all of them showing up, Max crying, David being the absolute best!!! The lady of the ice cream shop.... JSGDKBFIDJD I DID CRY AT MY FATHER'S OFFICE FOR THIS😂

"Because sometimes, just sometimes, love is enough." That's it. I'm dead. I am deceased🥺

Song rec: Atlantis by Seafret

@noah-herondale-lightwood i think you sent the ask in anon :)

if you haven't cried at your father's office then what are you even doing am i right???

I'm glad you liked the bits with Jem and the therapy. I was excited for you all to read his scene!

And the song rec is so 🥺🥺🥺

sending love!

[regalloki]

Memories

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s the last night before Bucky’s departure to go fight in the war, so you visit the Stark Expo together along with Steve. It’s your last date, so you make some memories to look back to while he’s away.

Warnings: a whole ton of fluff 

Author’s note: Bucky’s backstory is based on the TFA tie-in comic and the Captain America and Bucky comics cause we see very little of his life pre-TFA (the mcu has done us wrong tbh). Also the reader can be read as gender neutral!

Word count: 2196

18 March, 1943

It was the day before he’d leave. He had just received his orders, being appointed sergeant of the 107th. Admittedly, you were a tad bit bitter. You weren’t worried for him, per se. Bucky was capable in hand-to-hand combat and an excellent marksman as well and could very well hold his own against men stronger than him. He was a natural, after all, having a knack for that sort of stuff. He was the three-time YMCA welterweight boxing champion, so, surely, he knew how to put up one hell of a good fight. During training in Wisconsin, he quickly and steadily rose up the hierarchy and the ranks to earn the title of sergeant. He would indubitably be a valuable asset to his regiment. However, watching him go was, for you, nothing short of tormenting.

You caught sight of Bucky heading towards you, charming as ever, sporting that beguiling cheeky grin that made your knees buckle. He looked positively stunning and you caught yourself unabashedly checking him out. His confident strut, cocky posture and calm nature added to the undaunted and self-assured allure, but the gleam in his entrancing baby blues, the slight tip of his head and the lovesick subconscious smile he didn’t manage to conceal after quickly catching a glimpse of you were a dead giveaway of his feigned composure.

Beneath that cool, tough and charming veneer, Bucky was an utter sweetheart. He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it, but he was more silly and sentimental than he came across as. A huge sop, Bucky had a thing for being close to you. He liked falling asleep on you, listening to your heart beat or the low, soothing vibrations of your chest whenever you’d softly hum some made-up tune to lull him into a peaceful slumber. His hand had practically molded against your own. He was by all means a sucker for hand holding, but he’d rather not be seen. He had a reputation to withhold, after all. However, he managed to sneak his calloused hand in yours here and there, under a table or during those long cuddle sessions he liked after a particularly hard day when you were both alone at last. Bucky also had a weak spot for kisses. He tried his utmost to be stealthy and clandestine in public, but he oftentimes yielded to his desire and would slyly steal a few. If there’s one thing Bucky relished more than kissing you, it was being kissed by you. When you two were alone during the scarce downtime you’d get, all types of kisses were in order. Cheek kisses, mouth kisses, forehead kisses, neck kisses. They made Bucky feel enveloped by a welcoming surge of warmth and tenderness. He savored those moments, for they made him feel loved and cherished. It was safe to say he was absolutely smitten.

You took great joy in calling him out for how sensitive he is. His cheeks would immediately blush a gentle shade of tomato red and he would hang his head low in a desperate attempt to hide his toothy, broad smile he spectacularly failed to hold back and collect himself. But he knew it was absolute nonsense and all in good fun. He was aware of how fond you were of his clinginess and how cute you thought his gimmicks are.

“Hi, darling”, he greeted you, the low trill of his voice alone enough to make your heart skip a beat. He hugged you, briefly and slyly grazing his lips against your cheek.

He looked quite dapper in his uniform. Undoubtedly, he cleaned up nicely, you had to give him that. You were had been accustomed to a considerably ruggier look. His hair tended to be a messy halo around his head and strands would pop up here and there to frame and accentuate his handsome features. He sometimes even boasted a few bruises or marks, tell-tale signs of some recent tussle. He was never the one to shy out of a fight, although Steve was usually the one to get himself caught up in one and Bucky would be the one to defend his friend- and get a few good licks in before drawing Steve away.

You handed them their tickets to the Stark Expo. Bucky was ecstatic to find out he would be around in Brooklyn long enough to be able to go. You decided to get tickets for the two of you and Steve, something like a parting gift for Bucky. You smiled at the memory of when you told him you could all go together. His eyes went wide and he seemed so thrilled. You’ve lost count of how many times he thanked you. 

The two of you started walking side by side, stealing glances and smiles. Further down the road, you met with Steve. The three of you started catching up. Bucky told you all about Becca’s baking disaster and Steve’s latest misadventure in the back of an alley that morning. You giggled at Bucky’s frustration and at Steve’s endeavor to justify his shenanigans. 

“Buck- Bucky! Hear me out! That jerk was being disrespectful and he made that woman cry! What was I supposed to do-”

“Try not to get into a fight, that’s what! It’s been, what, the third time I’ve found you getting beat up in an alley or behind some diner just this month! I’m worried for you, Steve! I won’t be here to bail you out!”

“But-”

“Can’t you for once just do as your told? You know what? You may be my best friend but you also make for one hell of a pain in my ass, Rogers.”

You stifled a giggle at the two friends bickering. Before you knew it, the three of you arrived at the Expo. It was jaw-dropping and imposing. The lights, the inventions, the fireworks. Howard Stark sure knew how to put on a sensational show.

The inventions displayed at the Expo were astonishing and unprecedented. Flying cars, synthetic bodies, futuristic engines. You watched as Bucky marveled at the expeditions. He looked like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide and gleaming with excitement and mouth agape in wonder. The childlike enthusiasm and amazement in his eyes made you smile uncontrollably. You loved seeing him happy.

After a while, Steve left and Bucky went after him, concerned for him. Steve seemed in a bit of a haze, as if something was troubling him. He decided to not join you for the rest of the night.

“You know, he tried to enlist again this mornin’. God knows how many times he’s tried. He’s dead set on joining the army.”, Bucky explained.

“It kind of reminds me of someone”, you retorted.

“I’m just scared he’s way in over his head. War’s more brutal than some backalley. And if he keeps lying on enlistment forms they’ll either catch him or, God forbid, take him. It really gets on my nerves how thick-headed he is.”, Bucky said, looking down on his shoes.

“You know how Steve is. He has always had a fight in him. So have you. Steve wants to fight for what he believes is right. That’s his calling.”

“I’m worried sick he’ll get hurt and I won’t be there for him. He’s pretty keen on doing stupid  things.”

“You’re a good friend, Buck.”

The two of you strolled around the Expo. Bucky, all giddy and excited, ran around telling you all about the fascinating inventions. He surely loved showing off to you.  After a while, the conversation drifted elsewhere.

“Aren’t you scared? I mean, you said it yourself, war is brutal.”, you asked.

“I am. I couldn’t possibly not be.”, he chuckled almost nervously. “But it’s my duty to fight, the way it was my father’s before me. That’s one of the reasons I enlisted, you know. I wanted to finally make him proud. I had caused enough problems for him, especially after Ma died.”

“I don’t think that’s true. George loved you”

“I always got into trouble. After she passed away, I had to pretend everything is fine for Becca’s sake. But deep down I was scared and angry. Angry at everyone and everything. I would constantly get into fights, not unlike Steve. Maybe that’s why I’m so protective of him. I don’t want him to make the mistakes I did.”, he continued, head hanging down low. “Dad made a point of telling me how let down he was in me when I would come home wounded and bruised, but I don’t blame him. It’s just… His last words to me, before the accident, still ring in my head. ‘I’m disappointed in you, Bucky. You’ve really let me down here.’”, he muttered.

“You were a kid, Buck. You were processing so much grief and anger. You needed a way to unleash it. Sure, it wasn’t the best one. But you learned and grew from all this pain.”, you encouraged him.

“You’re pretty great, you know that?”, he chuckled, seemingly less on edge now. “I’ll miss you”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Barnes.”

“I’ll miss home, you know. You, Steve, Becca. But, at least, the thought of returning home will keep me going. God, I’ll miss you”

The two of you walked and talked for what seemed like hours, having a sincere heart to heart. After some time, you came across a photobooth. You both wanted to commemorate that night, so Bucky suggested taking a few pictures and you happily agreed.

You sat in the small, crammed space side by side. You placed your hand on his thigh, somewhat cheekily and he laid his head on your shoulder. You started taking pictures. While you were preoccupied with making silly faces for the camera, Bucky was busy keeping his eyes on you. You could feel his gaze on you, and, before you knew it, he laid a loving kiss on your cheek. He caught you by surprise, and the gentle touch of his lips on your cheek resulted in a toothy, ear-to-ear grin spreading across yours. You turned to him, seeing him beam at you adoringly. 

You could never get over how utterly and ridiculously impeccable and downright perfect he looked. His features were flawless. His piercing eyes were a breathtaking bright, steely blue. They glimmered in moments like these, when he was serene and content. The affectionate looks he gave you made your heart skip several beats. His rosy lips were soft and his kisses were tender and so sweet, you thought he could give you toothaches by merely kissing you. His nose was cute as a button and it took genuine effort on your part to not gently peck it with every chance you get. His hair was a velvety and silky mess with a few curls here and there framing his face and you wanted to gently card your hair through it and mess it up even more. His jaw strong jaw and cute little buttchin were the cherry on top. Bucky called to mind those Hollywood actors audiences swooned at. He was truly a sight for sore eyes.

You ogled at him long enough that a faint blush rose on his cheeks. He looked ravishing and irresistible so, without delay, you fondly grasped his neck and drove him into a passionate kiss on the lips. It wasn’t rushed or heated, but delicate and mellow. He leaned into your touch, craving it, and lowly hummed in content and satisfaction, as he cupped and caressed your cheek.

He pulled away with a delighted smile on his face. Both your hearts were bursting at their seams with pure, sheer love and affection for each other. That love transcended anything superficial, like looks or charm. Bucky had a heart of gold and sometimes it was too heavy for his own good. He cared so much for others that it took a toll on himself. But he was sincerely kind hearted and caring. You genuinely admired and appreciated him for that. He’s extremely loyal and devoted. He never gave up on anyone, not Steve nor his sister nor you. He was thrice as strong emotionally as he was physically, having to go through all that pain and despair and still be his sister’s rock. Bucky was an angel and he deserved the purest and sweetest love there is. And you wanted nothing more than to give him that.

Bucky grabbed the photos with a small smile on his features.

“You look nice”, he complemented.

“Not nearly as nice as you”, you replied, the words escaping your mouth before you knew it.

The grin disappeared from his lips in realization. The night was drawing to a close and he’d never get to share one with you for the foreseeable future. He started holding onto those photos a little harder now. 

“There you go.”, he said. moving his hand to give them to you.

“Keep them”, you retorted. “To remember me while you’re away.”

“To be frank, sweetheart, I don’t think I’d be able to forget you. In fact, I think I’d struggle to think of something else.”, he chuckled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”