#everyone talks about Clay as just “oh yeah the one who wrote the message” and “oh that digital construct in Revelations”

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

A song came up on my shuffle that reminded me of Subject 16 and now I'm thinking about Clay Kaczmarek again.

I have played a LOT of Assassin's Creed and to this day, Clay is one of my all time favorite characters. I actually might like him even more than Desmond (don't kill me please). Everything about him is just so utterly tragic and I don't think the AC fandom (however tiny it is) appreciates him enough.

Like just think about this for a second and put yourself into his situation:

(TW for self harm and suicide. Honestly Clay should just be a TW in general)

Now for the sake of time, let's just breeze past the whole desperately searching for parental approval from someone who won't give it to you to the point that you give up on your dreams. Clay's childhood is lesser known since all of that is in The Lost Archive DLC, but regardless it's still pretty depressing.

So you're in college for something you don't want to do to appease a man that just makes you feel horrible. Then out of nowhere this guy comes up to you and says you can do something greater with your life, serve a good cause with bigger purpose. You join the Assassin Brotherhood and things are going good, great even! For once you're finally happy with your life.

But now you have to do the biggest, most important mission you've ever been sent on. You have to infiltrate the enemy in deep cover for an extended period of time. It will be fine. You've done infiltration missions before. There's already a mole planted. She will get you out. It will be fine. Lucy will get you out.

You allow yourself to be captured. Your kidnappers strap you into a machine that forces you to relive your ancestors memories for hours at a time. There will be long term effects. Your captors don't care. You aren't a person to them, just a number. Just 16. They put you back into the machine.

One day after being removed from the machine something feels off. Like you're not where you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be taller aren't you? Or are you supposed to be shorter? The buildings outside the window look wrong. It doesn't matter. You're out of the machine. You can finally be you instead of someone else, if not for just a little while.

But it gets worse.

Even outside of the machine you still aren't you. You experience memories that aren't yours even when you aren't strapped in. You can't remember the year. You catch yourself thinking its 1480 instead of 2012. You swear a horse almost ran you over but you're in a skyscraper forty stories up.

You're scared.

But it's okay. You have what you came for. Lucy will get you out.

Except she won't. She defected to the enemy side. No one knows to come for you. You're trapped, doomed to be forced into a machine that destroys your mind. You're alone with dead people who feel like they're you. But there is someone... something? A being calling herself Juno.

She might not be real.

She says the end of the world is coming.

She says you are going to die.

You believe her, when you're lucid enough to listen.

You are trapped. If not in the memories of someone else then in this infernal room. There's no point in fighting any more. You won't escape. You can't warn the brotherhood. But you could give whoever comes next a fighting chance. Lucy won't help Subject 17, but you can make sure they aren't alone like you. You can do it. You can stave off the bleeding effect and cling to your remaining sanity long enough to do this one thing. Juno says the world depends on it.

You code an AI of yourself into the machine, split it into encrypted glyphs for 17 to find. You aren't sure how coherent your messages are. Especially not the last ones. You barely remember your own name. It will be okay, though. All 17 has to do is unite the glyphs. You won't be here to help 17, exactly, but your digital memory will. Now you just need to make sure they know to look for them.

There isn't a quick way to do it. They want to keep you alive, even if they don't care about your wellbeing beyond that. You managed to steal a pen. The pen will have to do. Cutting your wrists with the ballpoint hurts, but it's a necessary sacrifice. You'll write your message on the walls and floors. Even after they clean it up 17 will be able to see it. 17 will have the eyes.

"She sees me... raise the knife..."

[pluckyredhead]

What's the top 10 worst things about HiC

Oh god, it took me FOREVER to narrow this down. There are so many bad things about it!!!

Literally I’m not even going to address all the little talking heads therapy sessions and how thoroughly riddled with continuity errors and godawful characterization they are, because there’s so much else wrong with the book. Just trust that they’re a mess, even if King is trying to be Intellectual (TM) by putting them in a nine-panel grid. WE GET IT. YOU’VE READ WATCHMEN.

I’m also not putting “they killed Roy” on the list because it’s comics, characters die. The fact that this book was a slaughterhouse is a problem (see below, #2), but the fact that one of those deaths happened to be one of my favorite characters is a bummer but not necessarily evidence that the book is bad. (The book is so bad.)

But okay, so the rest of it, from least-worst to worst-worst:

10. That Poison Ivy cover: Clay Mann draws beautiful people but for some reason he decided that the cover to #7 should be a dead Poison Ivy on her stomach, cleavage pressed against the floor, her spine arched EVEN THOUGH SHE IS DEAD in order to lift her ass in the air so that the reader can see both T and A at once. This was leaked and then ultimately pulled before it hit stands and Tom King tweeted that he'd never liked it, but it’s very telling to me that either literally no one noticed how gross this cover fetishizing a dead woman was before the internet protested, or DC actively planned to use a sexy dead woman to sell comics. In their book that was supposed to be about trauma and mental health and recovery.

10b. Babs, a theoretical protagonist of this book, sexily peeling her pants down to show her bullet scars, which shouldn’t even look like that due to all the surgery she’s had: We get it, you’re only interested in women’s trauma if it’s sexy. She doesn’t even get to talk on this page.

10c. The full splash page of Lois in her underwear, saying “What do you want me to do?” like she’s inviting the reader to bone her in the middle of this story about death and trauma: Stop!!! Just stop!!!

9. The laziness of everything having to do with Booster: Okay yeah, I’m gonna be fannishly self-involved about another one of my faves here, but Booster is legitimately one of the main characters of the series, along with the Trinity, Harley, Babs, and Wally. And yet the “trauma” that places him at Sanctuary was part of a hastily shoehorned-in Batman arc directly before HiC that writes him deeply out of character (he carelessly changes the timeline when despite the fact that he’s spent 15 years protecting the timeline, including the Superman arc he starred in literally directly prior to the Batman one), instead of anything endemic to the character (because spoiler, Tom King doesn’t actually know anything about the character). The series then entirely fails to address it, hanging Booster’s emotional arc instead on his friendship with Ted...a friendship that explicitly does not exist in the Rebirth timeline. The Ted/Booster friendship/marriage is literally my favorite relationship in the entirety of the DCU, but you don’t get to rest a protagonist’s entire arc on a relationship that was retconned out of existence seven years prior and then retconned away again. Do the work. Don’t copy Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis’s papers from 31 years ago.

8. Interpretive hand jiving through the pain: You know how some people have to leave the room when characters do something very embarrassing on television? I’ve never been like that, just Jesus Christ I had to read this page between my fingers. Y i k e s :

7. Harley beating the Trinity in a fight: Come on. Harley couldn’t take a single one of them on her own, let alone all three. Don’t warp the characters to make your MC look more badass and keep the plot moving. (King also wrote Catwoman beating THREE SPEEDSTERS in his Batman run, which again: no. Absolutely not. Stop it.)

6. That Watchman reference: See above re: being so embarrassed for someone you have to read through your fingers. If you haven’t read Watchmen, the line “I did it 35 minutes ago” is extremely famous and absolutely a mic drop moment. It’s not a mic drop moment here. The characters are completely different and talking about completely different things. The only thing Heroes in Crisis has in common with Watchmen (besides copying the use of the nine-panel grid, like I said before) is that it’s about how heroes are fucked up, I guess? Which is hardly a bold statement in 2018; it’s actively cliche now, in fact. The only purpose referencing Watchmen serves here is to let the reader know that Tom King has read Watchmen, which is both pretentious because it is Art and ridiculous because it’s one of the bestselling comics of all time and millions of people have read it.

5. The abysmal “journalistic ethics” on display: There are so many characters literally and figuratively assassinated in this book that it’s easy to miss that Lois is one of them. But here’s a tip: when someone’s medical information is leaked to you, it is not in fact your obligation to share that with the world, no matter who they are. That is not information meant for public consumption, which we might assume Lois knows, since she doesn’t usually share the private business of her husband or her son or their cousin or any of their friends that she is also friends with. But suddenly she’s forgotten that because it’s on a zip drive? Not only does that show horrifying journalistic ethics from both Lois and Clark, who seems to think she had no other choice, it’s also ableist as hell - what, if someone has mental health problems or experienced trauma on the job they’re automatically a danger to the public? And despite the attempt to make this feel like a big twist, there’s actually zero point to it, because a) we never see civilians reacting to this information and b) there are literally zero consequences to publishing it in this or any subsequent comic. It’s never even mentioned again. If a tree publishes all of a superhero’s medical information and deep dark secrets in a forest and no one reacts to it in any way, shape, or form, does it make a sound?

4. The actual premise: I do sort of believe that Bruce would think “go to the middle of nowhere surrounded by robots wearing creepy robes and masks and tell your secrets to cameras which are then wiped and interact with no one” = therapy, although if that’s the case I don’t know why he keeps bothering to put people in Arkham, which at least allows them to talk to other humans. But under no circumstances do I think either Clark or Diana would go along with this horrible, horrible idea, that offers no genuine help to anyone. Not only does the fact that it’s implausible undercut literally everything that happens within the framework of Sanctuary’s existence, it’s just one of many examples of how almost everyone acts completely out of character all the time in order to keep the plot chugging along.

3. Bruce’s terrible detective skills: The World’s Greatest Detective spends like six issues seriously thinking that either Booster Gold or Harley Quinn is the killer. Booster or Harley! Booster has neither the temperament nor the ability to kill on that level and Harley would never hurt Ivy, plus neither of them are a match for Wally (who is believed to be dead at this point), and Bruce should know that. Again, weak characterization all around, but it’s especially egregious given that King wrote Batman for A HUNDRED ISSUES.

2. Wally’s character assassination: This is a three-parter:

2a. Logistical: It makes no fucking sense. Wally got his own corpse to the crime scene by traveling five days into the future and killing his future self. Everyone sees the corpse. Then Booster, Ted, Harley, and Babs talk him out of killing himself. But...he already did that and everyone saw the corpse, so now we have a paradox that’s never addressed.

2b. Moral: The comics have tried desperately to walk Wally’s actions back in the past two years, emphasizing that he didn’t mean to kill TWELVE PEOPLE, including one of his best friends. It was an accident! But he still framed Booster and Harley for literally no reason except to create a whodunnit, set them on each other which could have easily ended fatally for Booster, and then sent everyone’s private information to the media (which again, the comic frames as somehow noble and necessary, but which is actually deeply unethical). So you made this beloved 60-year-old hero into a villain...why, exactly? Just so it would be surprising? Cool, great work, Captain Edgelord.

2c. Metatextual: This comic spins out of Rebirth Special #1. The New 52 erased Wally from continuity and then brought him back as the younger, biracial Wally (and this isn’t the place to get into fandom’s response to that and DC’s response to fandom’s response so let’s just say they are both YIKES MCGIKES and leave it at that). Rebirth Special #1 brought him back, and the return of the “real” (white) Wally (again: yikes) heralded a new universe that was lighter and happier and contained way more fan favorites. It was literally branded as a gift to fans, embodied in Wally West.

In Heroes in Crisis, Wally is crushed by the weight of everyone being so happy he’s there and loving him so much while he’s struggling with grief and depression, and that’s why he snaps. It’s the metatextual equivalent of having Wally look at the reader and say “You’re happy I’m back and comics can be lighter now? Well, FUCK YOU, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.” It essentially blames the reader for having Wally go evil, because the reader loves Wally too much.

King, what the fuck?

1. The overall message: Heroes in Crisis was sold as a thoughtful exploration of mental health and trauma, instead of just another bloodbath. Instead, it killed a dozen characters in its first issue and dicked around for another seven with an uninspired whodunnit before throwing a beloved hero in the garbage. But in the meantime, it manages to say:

Trauma is unavoidable.

But therapy doesn’t help.

Trying it does more harm than good.

If you’re struggling, you are a danger to others and don’t deserve privacy.

Good luck with that.

Therapy literally saved my life. This comic enrages me. This comic is harmful. Superhero comics as a whole have a lot to answer for when it comes to discussions of mental illness, but at least some random issue of Batman where Bruce thoughtlessly throws another “looney” into Arkham isn’t billed as a sympathetic take on PTSD. Our culture already discourages asking for help, and we don’t need a pretentious funnybook miniseries helping with that.

(If you made it all the way to the end of this post and you are struggling with trauma, depression, PTSD, whatever...please do look into therapy. I promise you it’s nothing like this comic.)

In conclusion, Heroes in Crisis is bad and it should feel bad.

THE END.

[cloudbatcave]

Cloud Plays White: Finale

This is a long one, folks, since I realized I had a bit in my notes I had forgotten about and only found after I posted this, lol, so I have now edited it in.

when we last left off I was criticizing Alder for being useless in apprehending Ghetsis and Iris for not just taking me to Drayden’s house herself when it is Right Fucking There. 

So I’m still futzing around Opelucid here.

“No way, without pokemon, I’ll be lonely and sad! …but am I just using my pokemon, then?”

wow, seems there’s some brain cells there after all. you keep exercising those, brah.

I run into a guy who thinks that it’s okay for team plasma to take pokemon from weak trainers, even though he considers himself one and feels bad for the people they rob.

There’s another dude in the same room who used to be part of team plasma but left because it was weird for him that everyone thought the same way.

See, I appreciate this part of the game’s writing - I wish there was more stuff like this, people who are conflicted and their viewpoints being front and center instead of the simplistic garbage we’re fed by Iris and Alder and company.

Though there’s an absolute nut job who says that despite the years he’s trained with his pokemon he’ll let it go if it makes it a perfect being and I am just not even gonna unpack all the lunacy there.

There’s a kid who thinks that just because N has the legendary pokemon, he must be the hero.

I am very concerned about everyone in Unova being so gullible.

“Your Scrafty looks like it can try a little harder.”

WELL FUCK YOU TOO RANDOM LADY??? LAD DOES HIS BEST AND I WILL NOT HAVE HIM SLANDERED THIS WAY

I finally go to Drayden’s and get told how the original dragon performed mitosis and now we have two dragons and also they once destroyed the region with fire and lightning but it’s chill.

“People may hurt pokemon even more by imposing their selfish thoughts on them. But no matter what, Pokemon and people believe in each other, need each other, and will continue to live together…”

Drayden is smarter and more nuanced than like, anyone else, why is he not a main character.

Iris chips in about how much she can’t forgive Plasma and Drayden mentions they don’t know how to wake up Zekrom.

Well, to be fair, I’d be very surprised if they did.

Off to the gym, this’ll be interesting since I have no ice or dragon moves on my team.

I get through the trainers okay, now time to fight Daffodil.

Her Haxorus was a bit tricky but nothing I couldn’t handle, and when I walk out Juniper shows up.

And somehow she knows how to resurrect Zekrom. Cool!

She blahs about how it’ll wake up when it deems someone worthy and talks about how much I’ve changed and shows me to the gate where the route to the pokemon league is.

“Chirae? Do you regret setting out on your pokemon journey?”

UH.

MAYBE?

mmm, that’s not fair to my pokemon though - nigh everyone around me may be looney tunes or incompetent, but they’ve been good pals.

So I hit “no” after all.

and she gives me a master ball. dope.

I make it to the gates of victory road and I honestly really like the bit where each section of them is themed after the badges! That’s a nice touch, I think that was only also done in the FRLG remakes if I recall correctly. It makes it feel a lot more ceremonious and important.

Ah here come my two idiots.

Bianca asks Cheren to smile and he’d probably implode if he did. He finally isn’t an asshole though, good for him.

The bug badge guard tells me to “fight valiantly like an insect” which is funny but I guess does make sense. Ants can fuck some stuff up, man.

Honestly I want to be a badge gate guard, seems like a fun job.

Also, I caught an excadrill in a raid the day I wrote this, and caught an excadrill in this game. Their pokedex entry includes this gem:

“Their tunnels can be destructive to subway systems”

Given the battle subway exists in this game, their insurance payments must be obscene. Imagine getting your match interrupted by a giant mole with metal fists that doesn’t give a fuck.

I named her Beans. She looks like a Beans.

I also caught a Deino. The Irate Pokémon that can’t see and tackles people to learn about its surroundings. I feel a kinship with this creature.

I named him Mezzo for laughs.

And I managed to get myself back to the beginning of victory road. Good job, cloud.

Okay I think I’ve found the right path, found a new dude to beat up which is a good sign. Apparently he’s lost too.

Love when a trainer switches out to a Pokémon mine doesn’t have a type advantage against and it gets wiped in two hits anyway. Death is inevitable.

“I’ve thought about what I can do to help my Pokémon win and I finally figured out the answer!”

Is it git gud?

Flame charge raises my speed, opponent’s klang uses automotize to prove it can do that too, dies because it’s too busy trying to go fast.

Then I get nailed by a flare blitz. Darmanitan is toxic to gen 5 nuzlocke runs, I swear. Especially since I have no one on my hodgepodge team resistant to fire. At least my unfezant is faster.

“Read what your opponent wants to do. Your opponent is human and may change plans from moment to moment. Be careful!”

There’s some meta joke to be made there but I’m not thinking of anything witty. Something something AI having a point even if not in this context.

Back to the beginning again but I think I know what I need to do now.

I looked at a walkthrough to check, tho, lmfao. Was tired of climbing up there only to fall down the wrong spot.

“There’s an item at the bottom! Do you want to slide all the way down?”

You’re the devil talking and you tempt me but I will ignore your silver tongue for now.

So I’m at the league and I thought Cheran would pop out of the bushes before I got here. That’s weird. I could swear he fights me one last time before I challenge the elite four.

NO CHERAN. OKAY. WHAT. IS MY GAME GLITCHED??

I guess not! Huh.

All right then. Time to try and see if I can win with my very unbalanced team.

Lmfao yeah my first attempt against the ghost trainer crashed and burned. Literally, thanks to her Chandelure. Very glad I saved on the outside. TIME TO GO TRAIN MORE.

No Marty, you may not learn wild charge, this is a no recoil moves household, self harm is bad.

Some grinding later, I am ready to try again.

Shauntal gave me a little trouble but was much more manageable. Grimsley was easy, only his Krookodile gave me issues.

I really like the elite four battle areas in this gen, I do admit. Very aesthetic.

Ah shit I know that Musharna is coming.

Never mind, that pink and purple snoozeball went down easy. I didn’t have a single Pokémon faint.

Unless Marshal breaks the trend the fights have actually gotten easier as I went.

He actually was a bit tricky, gave me a good show.

Hello endless stairs, hello N and Alder, hello giant random castle that just explodes out of the ground somehow.

“What has just appeared is team plasma’s castle”

Thanks mate, never would’ve figured that out without you. Why do you need a castle. 

Oh wow, the gym leaders finally decided to be useful and fight the sages for me instead of letting extremists wander around unchecked.

Thanks y’all! Trying not being pointless more often!

“Ignoring team plasma...that would be a terrible thing for us gym leaders to do.”

You all already did that, Elena. I watched as Clay and Iris let these assholes go. We could have avoided this whole plot if literally any of you had done more earlier.

So the game says the castle was built by the Pokémon team plasma took but how the fuck did they like...work underground...you know what I’m not gonna even think about it too hard because it makes no sense and I know that. I must make my peace.

I also like how the castle is nonsensical and yet there’s a line of dialogue about how they’ll liberate the Pokémon in PCs too for their Master Plan(TM), which is surprisingly thoughtful. This game is so inconsistent with how much sense its lore makes. It’ll come up with something clever and then wear its underwear on its head the next minute.

“Will you go the Pokémon league?”

Hey what - WHY DID YOU TELEPORT ME HOW CAN YOU DO THAT. DO YOU HAVE AN ABRA OR WHAT

THAT WAS RANDOM

Well at least there’s someone there to randomly teleport me back too.

WHEEEEEE

Hi Reshiram, convenient how that mini fire tornado you made didn’t burn me or N.

Hi Zekrom, convenient how your lightning didn’t hurt us either, you’re a considerate chap

Aight, let’s see if I can catch this bastard

...I did and it only took me like five balls. Okay then.

N gave me a good fight, so there’s that.

Love how Ghetsis’s bouffalant kills itself via recoil from its own move and my scrafty’s rocky helmet.

He gave me a good fight too though.

I do like the ending, despite my issues with how the game presents its message. N is a great character and I appreciate what Nintendo was trying to do with the game’s plot, they just...didn’t really delve into it like they should have.

I’m glad I replayed it. I still have my issues with gen 5 but I see a lot more of its positives now.

We’ll see if I do any post-game content, I have gotten kind of attached to my grump-ass trainersona and his weird team.

[granddaughterogg]

Azrael is a kinkster, yo. Azrael/Reader. Lemons ahead! Part 1

Chapter 1

Foreplay

Some people just burst with sexual energy. Their stare strikes sparks, their body language is hypnotising. You have serious trouble listening to what they say, because your mind is occupied with... very nonverbal things. You’ve met quite a few of such people lately. Azrael is not one of them. If you had to describe Azrael in one word, it would probably be: decent. Of course, the Archangel of Death possesses a lot more traits than this. He’s wise. He’s also candid, tactful and immensely empathetic. Yeah, he overflows with empathy. You’ve yet to see him lose his temper. Which is no small feat, considering how easy it would be to crack the shits in the company of your beloved Darksiders. Hell, there are moments when even you get a bit overwhelmed. They are four very distinctive personalities who bicker a lot.

There are days when Death is being more difficult than usual, War is pouting somewhere in the corner, Fury lashes out at everyone and Strife decides it’s the perfect time to tell a poop joke.   You told him once what you think about poop jokes. Remains to be seen if the message has come through. On days like this you feel like pulling your hair out. Enter Azrael. Azrael the tactful, Azrael the charming. Azrael with this level, kind, yet irresistible voice of his. And magic happens. You suspect that the key to the angel’s success is that he respects everyone. He believes in equality. And his attitude comes through. He brings out the best in people. He and War are practically war buddies. Even though you find it impossible to imagine how their cooperation looked like. Death is actually fond of him; and people who Death’s fond of could be counted using fingers on a sawmiller’s hand. A very unlucky sawmiller’s hand. Fury loses her aggressive attitude when Azrael is around. Even Strife, who doesn’t like the guy that much – begrudgingly respects him. You feel that the angel should work in NATO. He could save humanity from many wars. That said, those are all not very sexy traits. You fail to imagine Azrael engaging in anything erotic. Of course, you’re a big girl now - and aware that it doesn’t take a testosterone-addled hunk to have an interesting sex life. Never the less, your angelic acquaintance always looks way too occupied with more important matters. Much more important. Speaking of looks. He isn’t classically attractive, but has a great profile. And beautiful hands. You always watch them eagerly whenever they emerge from all those fancy sleeves. Oops. Anyway, you two are now friends, right? It’s been a few months since War took you on a trip to Heaven. You’ve visited quite a few times since. Sometimes accompanied by one of the Horsemen, sometimes by all of them. The angel and the Darksiders had their own pressing matters to discuss, of course. But Azrael always made sure that you feel important and welcome. He would brew you great tea (seriously, you’ve never tasted better.) You two would talk at length; mostly about books. This guy is a crazy book magpie. He collects them all. Angel ones, human ones. he’s not too haughty to read the demonic ones either. If something has been written down, Azrael sooner or later will get his shapely, narrow hands on it. And then he’ll sniff it.   He probably sniffs books.

I require pleasant company for the weekend.   Would you care to come alone?

You got this mail on a Friday afternoon.   Really terse, considering who the sender was. If, say, Strife wrote it – you’d suspect that someone clobbered his head with a thesaurus. But emails from Azrael were usually at least one page long. And he wasted entire paragraphs asking you about the weather, about how you were doing and so on. This message was almost...sloppy. Hectic. You pondered a little. Reminisced his subtle smile and those pretty hands, caressing some large-ass tome. Azrael probably obtained a first edition of Balzac or some such and he couldn’t wait to show it to you. Well, you were down with that.

Sure, I’ll come around. Just give me about two Earth hours, okay? I’ll pack the essentials and also change into something spiffy.

Excellent. I’ll open a portal next to your house. And yes, please do dress nicely. Although you always do.

Oh Azrael, you smooth-tongued lad. „Guys, I’m going to Heaven for the weekend” you proclaimed, standing in the doorway of your shared living room. (Yes, you and the Horsemen live together. You’ve bought a house. But it’s a different story for another time.) There were no objections to that. All Four had a day off from their murderous duties. They spent whole Friday lazing around on sofas, watching youtube or just dozing off. You’ve already learned that the Horsemen are like predators in that department. They don’t spend energy unless they have to.   „So. You’re going now?” muttered War. He was lying on his back, one arm tucked under his head, the other – the iron one – hanging limply. It already carved a trace on the wooden floor. „Well, yeah. Azrael invited me” you answered absentmindedly.  „Now I need to do my hair...no, first I need a bath!” Death was resting on another sofa nearby. He raised his head a little and gave you an inquiring stare. It was short and piercing, like a tiny electric shock. „Loosen up, girl” chuckled Strife. He had both of his eyes closed. A PS4 pad and a half-eaten doughnut rested on his tight abdomen; remnants of impulsive decisions, defeated by idleness. Sometimes you wondered how is it even possible to eat so much junk and still look like Strife does. „Whatever you’ll do, he’s still gonna be the sharpest dresser.” „Yeah right, but I don’t mean just him, but all the other angels, too. I don’t want his colleagues from work to think that he’s friends with some uncivilised slob…” „Colleagues from work” said War slowly and pensively, as he often does. „That’s a flattering way to put it, when he rules them all with an iron fist. You know that, don’t you? No lesser angel will dare to offend you. And if one does… „...then we’ll come over and have a chat with them” finished Strife. „It’s been some time since I’ve plucked pigeons.” „Thanks, guys. I appreciate that” you said, genuinely grateful. „But I’ll feel so much better about myself if I doll up. You know how Azrael is...so posh and all.” „He’s hella boring though” said Strife. „What are even you gonna do with him for two days straight? Drink his wretched tea?” „That too, yes.” You smiled. „But I can feel it in my water that it’s about a book.” You’ve been already closing the bathroom door behind you, when Strife said in a hushed voice: „It’s always about some book. That guy’s a pervert.” „Stop it, Strife. ” That was War. ‘What? I call it like it is.” Fury said nothing, because she was fast asleep. She snored tiny cute snores. Death might be a big, intimidating mass of bone and sinew. But he can move like a soft pool of shadow if he chooses to. He did just that to get you at the very doorstep. Away from the others’ earshot. „So, when can we expect you to come back?” He was standing next to the coat stand. You had no idea how he managed to blend in with the wall. As usual.   His voice was relaxed, but you could feel the tightness lacing the words. „Azrael’s gonna send me back on Sunday evening” you said, looking into this closed off, seemingly impassive face. You knew it so well. „Death. Are you worried about me? I’m going to Heaven. Heaven. What could possibly go wrong in there?” ‘I’m not worried” he said, observing some wall crack right to your head. „Azrael is my friend. I’d entrust him with my life. I’m just...ascertaining things.” You let out a deep sigh. You felt so sorry for this man, unable to spit out a simple „I’m gonna miss you” even if his life depended on it.   But that’s what he was saying. With all his body language. His back bent slightly more, his hands hanging a little looser than usual. As if the sadness weighed on him. You embraced him - abruptly, before he had a chance to step back. You pressed your cheek to his hard, exposed torso, which (contrary to the folk stories that we humans sometimes tell each other) wasn’t cold at all. „I love you so much, you know?” you whispered into his left pectoral. That horrible scar has long disappeared without a trace. „I am going to be back home on Sunday evening. Even if Azrael conjures me a truck of books. I promise.” Death’s large hands embraced your shoulder blades. The Horseman closed his eyes and pulled you close. Very close. And then he let go. „I know. Have fun.”

Heaven! Are there even words in any human language that could describe its glory? I don’t think so. What if I tell you guys that everything is high-rise and steep and haughty in there? That everything is luxurious, but never vulgar – and constantly bathed in subtle golden light? Are you going to be satisfied then? Angels live above the clouds. Rainy day is just an expression for them. Wait. I’ve got it.Imagine an Apple store which has been designed by Michelangelo. That was Heaven. Azrael lived in a lavish apartment at the top of one of the White City’s spires. At least you guessed that there must be more rooms than just this huge one. In which you’ve spent so many evenings, chatting passionately about this and that. A spacious room with a decorative rib vault and a shit ton of books everywhere. Books upon books. Carved bookshelves crammed with tomes; some covered in wood, some in silk or even animal hide. A whole lot of regular cardboard covers, too. Azrael updated his collection on a regular basis. Many of those human books were gifts from you. There were also scrolls of parchment and papyrus stacked together and threatening to fall over. Heck, you’re sure that you’ve spotted a bunch of dusty clay tablets in a corner.   Next Christmas this guy is getting a Kindle. You sat in two soft, obscenely comfortable armchairs, covered with slightly worn out periwinkle velvet. Soft music poured from somewhere – relaxed, jazzy downtempo. You had no idea where do they get these earthy tunes from in Heaven. For all that you knew, Azrael wasn’t familiar with spotify. You drank the tea. This time it was green jasmine. With a drop of acacia honey added for good measure. It tasted like the first day of spring. Azrael put the cup aside, rested a cheek on his hand and gave you a gentle smile. „What are you thinking about?” You smiled back at him. „I think that you look ravishing today. That colour” - he pointed at your peach dress - „really showcases the tone of your skin.” „Wow. Thanks” you said. Internally you were squeeing in delight like an excited teenager. Azrael could be so chivalrous. OK, you thought, that’s enough with this line of thinking. Get your shit together, woman, before you tip something over and embarrass yourself. „All right”, you said, putting your cup away; the fine china clinked on the marble tabletop. „Nice little chat that we’re having. Don’t keep me waiting though. Bring out the book! The angel tilted his silver head ever so slightly. His eyes glinted with amusement. „The book? I beg your pardon?” „Well, it is about a book, isn’t it? Like usual. Some rare first edition long out of print, which you really wanted to share with me...Right? Azrael?” His eyes were as milky and opalescent as a cloud. And as serene. You started to blush under this constant stare. „What?" you asked, annoyed a little. His narrow lips curled up in a cryptic smile. „Come on, it’s not funny.” „Indeed” he said slowly. „I’m afraid that I owe you an apology. I lied.” „You...did what?!... When? Also, is lying even legal for you?” „Just right now. I wasn’t thinking about your dress, even though it is quite lovely. I was thinking...” he reached out with his long, slender arm. His fingers stopped mid-air, a mere inch away from your face. „...that I would like to kiss you.” There was a pause. During which your whole world twirled around, stood on its head and fell back to normal. Normal enriched with new, exciting possibilities, that is. "Oh. Right. Sure! I mean, go on. I can’t see why not…” What started as a nervous chirp ended in a mumble. Azrael put two fingers on your lips. You parted it; it was quite instinctive, really. You wanted him to touch you where you were soft and moist. He did just that. For a briefest of moments. Than he took his hand away. „Come here” he said in a low voice. „Okay. You mean...me, there? Right, that makes sense. God!” you whined. „ I’m so akward.” „Let’s keep God out of this” Azrael said with such a face that it was practically a wink. But then again, you had yet to see the Angel of Death winking. You stood up, not quite sure where your legs are – and came over to him as he asked. Azrael sat back in his armchair and pat his lap in an encouraging manner. It was the most un-Azrael thing that you’ve ever witnessed him do. Up until today. When the count of surprises was really going to pile up. You were in such a daze that for a moment there you forgot how to sit on another person’s lap. Especially when said lap is completely covered with sophisticated, flowy, floor-length angel robes. „I said: come here”  chuckled Azrael. „Do you mind if I?...” he gestured explanatorily. You nodded. Stupid redness burned your cheeks. Azrael put his hands around your waist, lifted you up and put on his knees as if you were a cat. The silk rustled. He smelled nice. Definitely non-angelic. Like...roses, maybe?   You knew that scent, you just couldn’t put your finger on it. „What now?” you whispered, stricken with this dumb, embarrassing shyness which you haven’t felt in such a long time. Which you hoped to never feel again. It wasn’t like that with the Darksiders. Not at all. Sometimes they would scare you. Or dumbfound you. But none of them has ever made you feel so small. Not like this highly restrained, immaculately dressed, back-combed man does.   A man with beautiful cheekbones. That much was evident now, when you sat so close. They really were top notch. „Can I?...” you breathed. He nodded smilingly. All this time he didn’t break eye contact.   You touched his cheek. It was pleasantly cool and softer than yours could ever be. Also, his face was covered with delicate fuzz, as bright as frost. „Do you even shave, Azrael?” „That is one peculiar question to ask” he said, still smiling. „That is one peculiar question to ask” you repeated, leaning in desperately and closing your eyes. „Kiss me then.” He weaved fingers into your hair and pulled your head in so sharply that you trembled. And then he kissed you. He was gentle - at first. Tested your boundaries. But you had no patience for such subtlety anymore. You immersed both of your hands in angelic locks and moaned urgently, while you pressed your lips to his. Well, you didn’t have to tell him twice.   He laughed breathlessly at such eagerness and went in with the tongue. And what a brilliant, flexible and knowing tongue he had. As expected of an angel. Time stretched like the most polite and accommodating of rubber bands, so a thousand years (or two minutes) later you were all taut as a bowstring. And rather wet. When it comes to the technique, his was definitely second to none. Azrael was the figure skating master of kissing. Those nimble lips of his were driving you crazy. He knew what he was doing to you. And he was savouring it. „Mmmm...mhm! Don’t stop!” you groaned when the angel finally broke contact. He let out a small chuckle - and suddenly bit your lip. „Azrael!” you cried out. He smirked so smugly you wouldn’t believe it if you didn’t see it. You had no idea that this noble face is even capable of such a dirty expression. „Stop...laughing...at me!” You were in a daze. You lunged forward and bit him back. Azrael cried out a little and touched his lip. It was bleeding. You have drawn angelic blood. It was as bright red as your own. That chilled you the fuck down. „Oh, shit. I’m sorry!” you called, terrified. „I’m so sorry! I got carried away. Carried away...with you.” Azrael wiped his lip and shot you an inscrutable stare. Only now have you noticed how wildly dilated his pupils are. The vivid blush that coloured his pale cheeks. He wasn’t toying with you. He went along for the ride. „I wasn’t laughing at you” he said. „How could I? I was laughing TO you. Because you’re just so ardent. Impulsive. You feel a physical sensation and you follow it with reckless abandon. I happen to think that it’s amazing.” You felt like an utter moron. Something incredible has just happened. You had this little moment of magic, Azrael and you. And you had to destroy it. You let your worst instincts take the wheel. Just because this man made you feel inferior. „I apologise for at” you said, gently touching his bitten lip.   „I would never want to hurt you like that. I have no manners. Maybe I should just go.” „What?...” Those pearlescent eyes went wide with surprise. „What are you talking about, my dear? Please don’t. That…” - he touched his lip - ”is nothing. A trifle unworthy of my attention. At least when compared with what I intend to do to you.” „What?”   Despite your desperate suggestion, you stayed still in his arms. Your heart was pounding. Your body ached for more pleasure. You didn’t want to go anywhere. And Azrael was holding you quite firmly. „I planned to be prudent and unhurried” he stated, shaking his head with a little rueful smile, as if admonishing himself.   „But with you...such approach is pointless. You’re like a flame. You burn through my reason.” He put his fingers on your swollen, wanting lips again. You let him slide them in this time. Slide them deeper than neither prudence nor unhurriedness would suggest. You sucked on them and you looked him in the eye, feeling crazy fearless. Suddenly you didn’t care whether you come off as uncivilised anymore. „I am going to undress you and tie you up. And then maybe I will whip you” said Azrael, looking you in the face with a tender smile.   „I haven’t decided on that last one yet.” Oh. Oh. You felt like an ice cube melting on fire. Does that metaphor even make sense? An urgent, eager flame licked your innards. „The question being of course: what do you say to that?” „Yes!’ you cried out. „Oh, please, do it! I’m in. Yes to all of the above.” He kissed you again – deep and hard. Unabashed. You didn’t even try to stifle the moan that rose in your throat. „I can see that we are on the same page here” he breathed into your lips. Then he pressed his to the skin at the nape of your neck. You inhaled sharply. „I am so glad that that is the case.” ‘Wait” you huffed, putting both hands on the embroidered front of his shirt. „Did you just say: undress, tie up and whip then?” „I said exactly that.” It was amazing how quickly Azrael could put on that official, venerable face of his.   "And then I’m going to fuck you.” „Good! I was just about to ask that...” It was worth it. If only to see how this self-satisfied son of something holy loses his composure. And regains it in a split second. „And not even once” he added. „Not twice either. There is a probability that by Sunday morning you’ll start to cry and beg me to stop fucking you.” You threw him a breathless, shit eating grin. Your direct future looked positively – heavenly. “Wonderful. I can beg alright, if it turns you on.” „Very. You shall see for yourself.” There was something in his half-lidded stare that made your insides tingle.

[mare-sanguis]

Winston/Monty pt. 11 part 1 out of 2 because its loooong

Scott cleaned the dishes while Winston took his medicine.

"You should visit his grave. You know... I dont think you failed him. He's not disappointed in you- but proud of thta you tried."

"Maybe."

"He really trusted you to do that. Did he told you that?"

Scott nooded.

"Then you already know that he wont be disappointed in you."

"You really think so... right?"

"Yes. He's your friend."

Scott sighed and looked down in the sink.

"Jeff was really a nice guy- he had a huge heart and supported so many. The funeral was the absolute worst. So many people crying, disturbed. He died to young."

"You really liked him."

"Well of course I do."

Winston smiled.

"No."

"'No' What?"

"I didnt mean it like that. Not as your best friend."

Scott didnt responds to that directly.

"He was just a friend. I told you."

"Would you say the same if you'd look at me? Almost everytime you talk about him you won't look at me. You're hiding something."

"Theres nothing to hide."

Winston sighed and stood up.

"Maybe you'll tell me later. I wont pressure you into something you dont want to say. I'll go to sleep now. You can chose one of the quest rooms. One is near mine, the other ones are on the 3rd floor. Good night."

Winston left and leaves Scott alone in the kitchen.

"Fuck it. I wasnt in love with him." He whispered to himself.

"He was my best friend, not my first male crush:"

Why would he even think about that if he wasnt?

He stood there for some seconds more until he decided to go to one of the guest rooms.

He choosed the one near Winstons.

They didnt saw each other until the next day.

Scott checked on Winston- He'ss still asleep- all the stress and probably the medicine knocked him out pretty hard.

He took a shower and got dressed- after that he decided to drive hom to grab some stuff. He left Winston a note in case he would wake up while he was gone.

He took Winstons car to drive home where he packed up some clothes and put on new ones.

Scott looked at he clock. Must be lunchtime at Liberty now. There was still some unfinished business in this school for him. And since he was in town now anyway he could visit this hellhole.

He get back into the car and drove to the school. He went there long enough but after 8 month and the second visit... it still felt weird.

He was the one the school chose to give Montys stuff to since his parents didnt care enough for it.

After he arrived at school he parked his car in a parking lot near by the school, then he stepped out and took a deep breath.

No one was around so he felt at least a bit more comfortable. All that changed after he entered the school building. The halls were filled with students. People he know and some he dont.

But no one seemed to notice him. Luckily. At least he thought so.

Without any further thinking he walked straight towards the principals office- but stopped after someone grabbed his arm and some other called his name.

"Scott!"

He got dragged away by the one who grabbed his arm.

"Long time no hypocrite. Didnt expect to see you around here anymore after you buggered off after the whole Bryce "rape" thing."

Scott tried to stay calm.

"What do you want?"

"We just wonder why you're here and that you still have the courage for it."

"Why? Should I feel afraid of you?"

"Maybe."

"I dont. Let me go, I have somethng to take care of."

"What is it?"

"Non of your business."

"You know whats our business?"

"What?"

"Why are you walking around with a fucking faggot?"

"I dont understand."

"We saw you with hime- the last days. The one guy with pale skin and black hair. The faggot."

He just looked at them.

"The faggot? Yeah?" taking this word in his mouth made him feel disgusted.

"Dont you think its time to stop using thie word? How old are you? 10?"

"Why are you defending him? Are you one of them now too?"

The other guys laughed.

"I mean look at him- hes probably going back to him. Thats why hes wearing his bes clothes."

The guys continued to laugh.

"And even if I am- it not your problem anymore. I'm not your friend anymore. So I can do what ever the fuck I want."

"So youre fucking him. Disgusting. Monty would have beat the shit outta you. Sadly he died because someone rat about what he did."

Scott laughed this time.

"I bet he would have. Totally. Except I was a trued friend of him and he never judged me."

He turned around and pushed past between the other students- he still could hear them shit talking.

Scott didnt glanced over his shoulder and turned left around he almost ran Alex over.

"Scott."

"Alex."

"What are you doing here?"

"Taking care of Montys stuff."

"Hm. Jeard you talk with these guys over there. Are you staying with Winston."

"Maybe."

"How does it feel to be around someone whos fighting against us?"

"I dont care. You did something wrong and have to pay for it. Why are you even so angry about it? At me? You can stop that now. Its getting annoying."

Scott walked down the hall and Alex followed him, he entered an empty room.

"I am because I want to."

Zach appeared behind Alex, out of knowhere. As well as Clay, Justin and the rest of the group.

"So childish. You know I didnt sell out Montys trust so the next moment you could pin the murder of Bryce on him. I'm not your friend- The only one I actually just cared about in thsi whole group was Clay. And because I dont owe you anything I can do what I want. Step up for what you did wrong. You cant serve justice while cobering up a murder."

Alex blood boiled with every word he siad.

"Why do you even care? I mean Monty was a criminal. Murder or not."

"Because- surprise- he was my friend."

"Why are you helping Winston?"

"Because he thinks the same:"

"Yeah? Really?"

Zach grabbed Alex arm ad whispered a silent "Lets go". But Alex didnt want to stop.

"You're just helping him because you think hes hot."

Scott blinked in confusion.

"And I think you just killed Bryce because he wanted to fuck up Zachs life. The person you love so much but wont admit it because you're a coward. Wont even notice hiw much he liked you back."

Alex got furious and shoved Zach away from him, angrily.

"How dare you?"

Scott laughed.

"Thank me later."

Zach looked back and forth between them and started to blush.

"Wha... not true!" and he rushed away.

Alex looked afte him.

"You're gonna pay for this" and then he followed him.

Clay stared at Scott for some seconds.

"What? Do you want to complain too? Because I really dont eanna end up in a fight with you."

"No I .... who told you to look after me?"

Scott rolled his eyes.

"Should be pretty obvious. Dont it? It was Jeff."

"Oh... really...?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I dont know. Maybe bevause he knew you neeede help or something."

"But he was around most of the time."

"He was but it was for the time he couldnt be around."

Clay nooded to that.

"So... do you really think Winston is hot?"

Justin started to laugh.

"Dude dont ask that."

"But..."

"What the fuck Clay?" Scott said in confusion.

"I'm sorry."

"You know..." Scott started. "Everyone finds Winston hot- even the most hetero guys alive."

Clay laughed at this and pat him on the shoulder.

"Good joke man. You looked so serious saying that."

"Thats beause I was being serious.

He shook his head slightly and then walked away. Grabbing Montys stuff from the office.

After that he took the emergrency exit and rushed to the car- with it, he drove home.

He entered the house and went straight to the kitchen- the box with Montys stuff still in his hands. He placed it on the counter.

Scott made some coffee and was about to open up the fridge as he heard steps that stopped right in the doorframe.

Winston stood there- with a bit of a shocked look on his face.

It made him worrying.

"Somethings up?"

Winston just hsook his head, still kinda tired because oth the meds.

"I just..." he rubbed his eyes."

"Its just the... look on you. The clothes. Monty used to ear the m all the time."

"Oh...yeah... I can change it for something else if you want me to. If its more comfortable for you."

"No." Winston shook his head. "Its fine. Really."

He noticed the box on the counter.

"Whats that?"

"Montys last belongings. I thought you might wanna have them. Its not much but enough for you I hope..."

Winston took a seat and grabbed the box.

"You were in school right? How was it?"

"Seems like everyone of my former so called "friends" hate me now. But I dont really care. Met Alex and his friend again to. Had a little fight. But wasnt that bad. Still feels weird going back there..."

"I can imagine that."

"Anyway Winston... how are you feeling?"

"Good. Better than yesterday."

They had breakfast together as Scott received a message.

Sheri. She wanted to meet them.

"Hey Winston?"

"Hm?"

"Gotta problem coming with me to visit Jeffs grave?"

"You really think I should come with you? Why do you even want to visit him now?"

"Sheri just wrote me - she wants to go there. And she invited you."

"Oh really? If she wants me to come I'll say yes."

He wrote her back, that they would meet at 2pm.

Sheri: "It really didnt sound like you want to visit him yesterday.

Scott: "That was yesterday. Now is today and my mood is better too."

 

Scott took the bag with his clothes out of the car after they finished eating and headed upstairs as Winston stopped him.

"Already feeling like home here dont you?" he siad, pointing at the bag.

"Oh- I just thought that I should stay for some days more. Just in case."

"Right. I know that." Winston smiled.

 

He carried his bag up the stairs and placed it on the bed, he sat down next to it. He choosed some dark clothes for that occasion even though he knew that Jeff probably wouldnt like that.

Winston watched him from the door frame silently. Scott ddint notice him because he was stcuck in a daydream.

"Are you ready?" Winston said finally and Scott almost jumped.

"I am - I think."

They got into Winstons car and drove the long way to the graveyard.

There he parked the car in an empty spot and togther they walked up the way- Sheri was already waiting for them there.

"Finally here- I think I was to early." She laughed and looked at Winston.

"Nice to see you again- now we'll introcude you to our best friend." she whispered quietly, not to disturb the other visitors.

Together they walked to Jeffs grave - which was decorated with many flowers.

"Looking good." Scott said, after seeing all these flowers.

"Obviously it must be. Jeff was such a sweetie."

Sheri claimed, Scott secretly agreed to it.

"So why'd you chose to come? Yesterday you sounded a bit stressed."

He looked at Winston for some seconds.

"Well... Winston helped me to understand that I shouldnt feel resposible for Montys death."

Sheri tilted her head slightly.

"What does that has to do with Jeff?"

"I...." he looked at Winston again. "I guess... I ahve to tell you something."

And he told her. About everything. About what Jeff told him- what he ased him for. About Monty. About Clay. That Scott flt like the burdern was all on him.

He strayed calm through all of it.

"He had to much hopes in me- Monty and the others dragged me deep into their darkness. That non of theri fault. If only, thene mine. Because I knew what would happen."

"Oh damn... But... he should've never left it all on you. Ther was no chance of you to handle it all alone."

"I did it anyway- I wanted to."

Sheri and Winston both waited for a clear answer.

"I wanted to make him proud. Ther are still things I will always deny. For the fact that its now to late and never was about any relevance."

Sheri laughed.

[dailyaudiobible]

11/3/2017 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 7:1-9:11; Hebrews 5:1-14; Psalms 105:1-15; Proverbs 26:28

Today is the third day of November. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It's great to be here with you today as we dive in and take the next step forward through the Scriptures this year. And this week we’re reading from the Good News translation. And, so, for our Old Testament reading, Ezekiel chapter 7 verse 1 through 9:11.

Commentary:

Alright. So, the portion of the Proverbs that we are in right now is speaking directly to the kinds of things that come out of our mouth. And, of course, before something ever comes out of our mouth, it bubbles up from within our heart and filters through our mind and is formed into words and then we use, of course, our facial muscles and tongue to say those words. And we should become aware of the things that are forming in our heads that we’re about to say because, you know, when something comes bubbling out of our heart and filters through our mind, there's still time. There’s still time to invite the Holy Spirit before we actually say the thing. So, for example, we talked about insincere talk the other day with the clay pot that's of substandard quality but varnished to look like it's valuable and the proverb equated that to insincere talk. Today the proverb tells us, look, insincere talk brings nothing but ruin. So, as one of the things of my father, that he would say to me, that has actually stuck, and, you know, I have been without my dad for 15 years now, but one of the things that he would counsel me on is, son nothing good can come from that - whatever that was. Today, it's insincerity. Insincere talk brings nothing but ruin, the Bible says. So, nothing good can come from that. But the proverb starts, you have to hate someone to want to hurt them with lies. So, have you ever been lied to or lied about and then became aware of it and it wasn't true, it was a lie and you were deeply hurt by it? Or maybe you've hurt someone that way? Maybe you’ve told things that are not true, spread things that are not true, and hurt someone deeply? According to the Scripture that comes from a place of hatred. So, remember when we were talking about things bubbling up in our heart and then filtering through our mind and then we speak them with our mouth. Well, that thing that was bubbling up in your heart before it was formed into words was hate and nothing good can come from that. The chaos and confusion that you may cause by that may feel like revenge or justice to you, but nothing good can come from that. Only ruin can come from that, according to the proverb. And, so, once again the Scriptures become the mirror that we have to face ourselves in. And once again the Bible penetrates deep, like we were talking about yesterday in the book of Hebrews, to the place where soul and spirit meet. If hatred is there and insincerity is there, in other words, falseness is there, then nothing good is going to come from it. And here is an example of the Scriptures reaching us at that level and challenging us, that we are new creations. This stuff does not have to linger anymore and be a part of our story anymore. And as old as the Proverbs are they still speak prophetically into our lives because this is the rhythm of the Scripture. How many times have we read through prophets who have been instructed by God to go warn people? Nothing good is going to come from what you are doing. It is only going to lead you to destruction and loss. It is only going to be bad. Come back. Return to me. Come home. This doesn't have to happen. Our words work the same way. They bring about the same kind of destinies. And if we are harboring hatred and hurt people with lies and our insincere and false. Well then, there’s our warning straight out of the Bible today. It’s not going to go well. Turn back, come home, invite the Holy Spirit back into a leadership position in your life because it doesn't have to go this way unless you want it to.

Prayer:

Father, we don't want to live our lives piling up things that amount to nothing but ruin. We want our lives to matter. We want to reflect Your glory in this world, but we all have our own injuries and wounds, our own histories. And, so, we invite You into those places that are so deeply hurt that we would strike back with insincerity and lies and hatred in the places that we think there's injustice toward us. And yet You are telling us through Your word, perpetuating that, passing it forward, is going to bring nothing but ruin. And, so, we give You control over our minds, our spirits, our identities and our tongues. And we ask, Holy Spirit, that You would come into those places that are broken and that we would yield to You before we say something that nothing good can come from. Come Holy Spirit. We pray. In Jesus’ name, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website. It’s home base. It’s where you find out what's going on around here. So, be sure to check it out.

So, there's always plenty going on around. So, check it out. Looking at the calendar, the 19th of November will be our next date out on the road. And we will be in the Shreveport Louisiana area bringing the Sneezing Jesus message at River Valley church, which is in Bossier City, Louisiana. So, if you are in the South, come say hello, love to see you. And you can get all the details: maps, times, websites, phone numbers, all that kind of stuff dailyaudiobible.com.

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayers and Praise Reports:

Hello Daily Audio Bible. This is Joe The Protector from Georgia. It’s October 30th at 7:50 in the morning. I just got finished listening to the podcast and the prayer at the end and I just want to lift up our sister Candice from Oregon. Candice from Oregon, I just want to encourage you and lift you up and when I heard you on today’s podcast it just gave me a new Spirit, like I believe you have. You’ve got a fresh new Spirit and it gave me something when I heard you singing and I just want to lift that up and lift that up to Jesus and thank Him for giving you courage through this time. And just know that you are loved. Alright. Love you all. Bye.

Hello DABber friends. This is Amanda from Virginia. I wanted to call in out of encouragement and sharing for Jacqueline from Texas. Oh, sweetheart, I have been where you are. I am on the other side of that and it was the hardest, darkest era of my life, but I can tell you that there is hope in Jesus. You are so doing the right thing by just engulfing yourself in the word because, think of it like your shelter, my husband did the exact same thing. I have 5 very small children and over a year ago he became angry and withdrawn and cynical and he is saved as well but he went to the darkest place I had ever seen. He got a girlfriend, which happened to be one of my good friends, and ended up sleeping with her for 8 months. It was just insane. And I cannot tell you the level grieving and depth of confusion and hurt and betrayal from the whole thing. But I’m telling you honey, this is an attack. It’s an attack on your family. It’s an attack on your husband and it’s an attack on you. Surround yourself like armor, with the word of God, with music that is just speaking life, and surround yourself with people that are seeking and praying for you. One of the best things that I did that changed everything was to pray for my husband. I actually had an alarm on my phone. So, it was three times a day. I actually called it my battle prayer because I felt like I was going to battle for my husband…for…

Hey everyone. This is Tony the painter. I just want to say a big thank you to everybody who replied to me on the prayer wall, especially to Brian and Jill but especially, especially, especially, especially to Jill. The words that you wrote were…yeah…just lovely. Thank you so much. Things are pretty bad. My marriage is dying or dead and guys…I just…being 4000 miles away from your spouse for like 10 months now is painful. I just want you to know I am praying for. I’m praying for the Global Campfire and the new app and…yeah…I just love you guys so much. God bless you all. Bye-bye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible, this is Paul from Houston and I was calling regarding response to the lady that didn’t give her name from September 16. I know, I'm a little behind, I’m trying to catch up. But she was mentioning, she was asking prayer for her husband who had a bipolar condition and had been speaking a lot of negativity and threatening different things and going with different episodes and I just want to pray that there would be peace in the house and I thank You Lord that Your Holy Spirit will dwell there. And I ask Lord that the Spirit of control or this bipolar condition would be addressed and I ask Lord that this husband would seek out that help that he needs and I thank You Lord that he’d be open to that and I ask Lord that your Holy Spirit to work there so that there will be a softening of hearts and a softening of countenance and I ask Lord that you would just be with them and be with this family Lord and I ask Lord for peace and Lord I pray that people would not be affected by these words for they realize that these words are not from God but there from the enemy. And I thank you Lord that you realize that the enemy tries to throw darts at You and that he have put Your shield up, put Your armor on, and be ready for that battle. And I just thank You Lord that You would bless and You prosper this family Lord and that You would be with them and I ask for Your peace and Your protection and Your Holy Spirit to guard this family. In Jesus’ name. I just thank You Lord for that. And thank you guys. Anyways, thank you for praying for Houston. We’re still recovering. There's a lot of folks still having difficulty getting contractors and…

[not-yourfuckingprincess]

Like the first time (Zach Dempsey x Reader)

hey! Like I told you, I was a little bit sacred of start writing because of the mistakes, but how there’s never too much Zach Dempsey imagines and because your beautiful messages I decided to give this a try. I hope you like it, if you do. Let me know :)

So the prompt is one that I requested a few days ago and no one wrote me but a lot of people wanted it so here you go : Zach Dempsey x reader when they’re a party and Zach is super drunk and starts hitting on girlfriend like, you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world and we should date and you’re like Zach, I’m already your girlfriend, and he’s with his goofy smile thanking the sky because what did he do to deserve such an angel? Takes her hand and lets get out of here.

***

The key to party is totally to be on point; not too early, not too late. Why? If you arrive too early, you get bored, have those awkward conversations of what do we play, what do we do untill all the people arrive; and, if you’re too late, everyone is drunk.

But there wasn’t another option, you needed to finish that awful history project that was killing you. Or you are super freak about this project or your classmates don’t give a damn about the class. Anyway, your father was so kind that he took you to the party after you finished it.

-I’ll take you home later okay? – your father said smiling at you while you were heading out of the car – no it’s ok, thank you dad, I’ll probably just crash here or Zach will take me home – you said to him – ok sweetheart, take care – he shouted from the car window

- I will! Love you, bye! – you shouted while you rushed to the party. Unfortunately, everyone was already pretty drunk.

- Y/N! – you heard before you were embraced in a bone-breaking hug – you came! How are you? - breath…less- you managed to say before Jeff Atkins let you go apologizing with a smile – I don’t know if it was worth it that I came, they all seem pretty wasted – you said to Jeff looking around 

– Come on! The party is more alive than ever- he said opening his arms- we’re playing beer pong over there- he said pointing at the group of people laughing over the table- there are some people back there- said looking at the fire pit – and over there – pointing under a tree – there is Clay and Hannah, I’m traying to set them up for ages now, they’re so oblivious, you know? God! What is Tyler doing here? He’ll scare Hannah- Jeff was going to interrupt when you put your hand on his shoulder.

- Easy there, jeff. I’ve got this – you said walking to meet Clay and Hannah – Hey Tyler, What are you doing here ? You know, there's not much material for the yearbook here -hey Y/N! I know, I just was trying to...- to see if you find our dirty laundry?- you interrupted him. You knew Jeff was going to be nicer but this guy needed to chill- I prefer that you just go home- you lead him to the door and went back to Hannah and Clay- that's okay, he's gone now- you tell them -thanks Y/N! - Hannah said showing a little smile- you just got here? I haven't see you earlier- Clay asks -yeah, I was fighting with that damn history project, but I'll leave you alone, I have to find my boyfriend- you said looking to the crowd of people in Jeff's backyard -Zach was inside the house a while ago, playing some drinking games with his friends- said Hannah looking inside the house - that means I've already lost him, he must be totally wasted now. He can't hold well his alcohol. Thanks guys!- you shouted to Clay and Hannah while you headed to the house. Is it possible for a house to be more crowded? Seriously! Is not like the whole school came- where the hell out is Zach?!- you asked and throw yourself on the couch besides Jessica who was talking, red cup in hand, with Sheri and the rest of the team

- Hey girls- you said taking the red cup from jess and drinking it all in just one go so you could start to warm up at the party- have you seen my drunk of a boyfriend?- you asked while leaving the empty cup on the coffee table

- you! That was mine- jess said pouting while Sheri laughs at you two- we lost them like an hour ago- they were shouting and drinking in the kitchen- she said- well I don't even bother looking for them...- you were trying to say when you all heard

- wow wow wow! Who do we have here?! Isn't it the hottest group of cheerleaders that Liberty High has ever had?!?!- shouted Bryce Walker with arms open while he and his group came to you from the kitchen with red cups in hand. Everyone on the room cheered to Bryce's words- what are you doing pretty ladies?- he asked when they stopped behind your couch- just chatting- you told him turning to see his group of friends, and when you eyes found your boyfriend you catch the exact moment when he saw you, he truly saw you. His eyes widening as he began walking to put himself in front of you

- Heeey Beutiful, what’s your name? – said YOUR boyfriend; who knelt in front of you on the couch; in his attempt of sexy voice – Oh my god, you’re so wasted – you muttered with a smile – what is it? I didn’t hear you babe – you looked at him in the eyes while he put a hand on your knee 

– Y/N, my name is Y/N Y/L/N – you said with a smug smile. He looked at you for a few seconds – well Y/N, let me tell you this. I THINK – he said putting his hand on his chest – THAT YOU – he said pointing at you – ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY DATE – everyone on the room started laughing while all your friends were around you looking at the scene – WHAT?! – Shouted Zach looking at his friends- Don’t you think she’s beautiful? she’s so beautiful, we should go on a date and you should become my girlfriend – he said looking for your eyes. You put your hand on his cheek stroking it - Zach babe, I’m already your girlfriend, oh god, you’re so drunk- you said smiling at him. 

The next thing that happened was the most beautiful thing. His eyes were shining like never before and he has this amazing goofy smile on his face, he put his hands on your face and kissed you, hot and long. You slide your arms over his neck and started messing with his hairwhile everyone cheered. 

- Damn Dempsey! He got the girl twice! Two times! can you believe it justin?! – Bryce said loudly at Justin who was at his side, behind the couch with his hands stroking Jessica’s shoulders – Shut up Bryce! – Jess told him while sheri was looking happily at you two – they’re so cute. 

Suddenly Zach stood up while holding your hand and fisting the sky with the other – I’VE GOT HER!! SHE’S MINE!! – Zach shouted to everyone in the room and they started cheering and laughing! – Come on! – Zach said tugging on your wrist and heading upstairs – where are we going ?!?- you said almost running behind him, damn this man and his long legs – to do what boyfriends and girlfriends do! – he shouted laughing while everyone stormed again on cheers and you heard his friends shouting “YO GO DEMPSEY!!” and “GOOD ONE BRO!!” but just before you close the door you heard Jeff Atkins screaming “NOT IN MY ROOM!! DAMN DEMPSEY!!” 

As you headed to the bed with your hot and slightly less drunk boyfriend you couldn’t help but think that if when he is drunk he will still be hitting on you and seeing you like the only girl for him, you’ll be totally safe. He put his arms around you and throw you to the bed. Damn Zach Dempsey, but yeah, he got you and you’re totally fine with it.  

***

Ok so this is my first ever imagine, if there’s some mistakes don’t be shy and tell me. I hope you liked it 

[ittybittybubbles]

13 REASONS WHY

I’m trying not to be negative, but after watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix I gotta say, it was complete bullshit and I feel like the series completely missed the point. It was quite a disappointment because I fucking love the book...to this day, it is one of my all time favorite teen novels. I read it when I was about 15/16 years old and I was super excited to see how the book would be interpreted visually. Well, to my surprise (especially since almost all the reviews are very favorable) it was big let down. 

Like Series Alex Standall said, “Don’t be a dick!” That kids, is pretty much the over-all message of the book. That was the lesson I learned when I finished reading it. Everyone goes through shit, so if we have the opportunity to be kind to another human, why not? That was the point Book Hannah was trying to make with the tapes. She was the one who was suppose to teach us that, not Alex. And in all honesty, Book Alex wasn’t half as remorseful as Series Alex was. Not allowing Series Hannah to do this made it seem like Hannah was guilt tripping her “bullies,” blaming them for her decision and came off as manipulative. Book Hannah was a much stronger, understandable and bad-ass character than Series Hannah ever was. Series Hannah was dismal and at times came off as unreasonable. What a shame... So don’t be a dick! Oh, and it goes without saying, but since both the series and the book deal with sexual harassment and rape; DON’T RAPE AND KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

Book Clay and Book Hannah didn’t have a friendship the way the series portrayed. That is one of the biggest reasons why the book’s message worked. Book Clay was an awkward, a bit klutzy and sometimes oblivious to the obvious kind of character. He didn’t confront the other people on Hannah’s list like Series Clay did. His journey dealing with Hannah’s death and Hannah’s journey until her untimely death was the biggest experience we had as readers. Although I liked the people who portrayed the characters on the series, including them and giving them much more screen time than Hannah, changed the story completely. Giving the bullies background stories and showing them having remorse made the viewers excuse the shit they did to Hannah when she was alive as “not that bad.” Which in retrospect, is somewhat true, but that’s not the point. But including all of this and adding the parents and a lawsuit made the original message no longer apply. Series Bryce was viewed as the only true villain. Which is not true. His crime was the most horrendous, but they all contributed with the exclusion of Clay. In fact, a lot of the “reasons” were far more worse and connected in the book than they ever were in the series. I think the writers and producers focused way too much on creating a diverse cast, which is great, I’m fully on board, but they forgot to tell a story with a message. I can go on, but I’d suggest you read the book, it’s worth it, I promise.

Another reason why the message translated well in the book and not in the series, is because of Book Clay and Book Skye’s relationship. They use to be friends and in fact, she was Clay’s 8th grade crush (before Hannah) and before Skye went through her “change.” Series Skye was portrayed as an “insufferable goth” and downright rude/mean. I hated this especially. Book Skye was the kind of character who stopped caring about her appearance and isolated herself from her peers after 8th grade, which insinuated she was depressed. Book Clay and Book Skye had a small chat on the bus while he was listening to Hannah’s tapes (in one night, I might add!!) and that’s about the only time he and Book Skye interacted. Series Skye and Series Clay had more scenes than in the book and each encounter was bitter and had no natural development. One of the scenes that pissed me off the most was the “Tarot Card” scene. Series Skye offered to read Series Clay’s future because ???? This scene didn’t add anything to the over-all story and only made Series Skye seem like she was jealous of Hannah. And the worst part? Series Clay confronting Series Skye about her self-harm. Her response was the most detrimental message the series contributed thus far. It did more damage than good. THAT SCENE WAS COMPLETE BULLSHIT! Series Skye said “suicide is for the weak” and self-harm is what people do so they don’t commit suicide. Implying that people who self-harm are strong and also smarter than those who commit suicide. Kids, listen to me carefully, NEITHER IS AN OPTION! If you need someone to talk to, seek help! Whether if it’s a parent, friend, a helpline, a fucking stranger, anyone who will listen.... get help and don’t turn to self-harm.

Here’s the reason why Skye’s character even existed in the first place; after Book Clay finished listening to Hannah’s tapes, he learned a valuable lesson. He was too scared to help Book Hannah because he didn’t know how to help. Although Book Hannah was showing classic warning signs of a suicidal individual, he missed the opportunity to reach out to her. Because of this, he wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip with Book Skye. He reached out to Book Skye and offered his friendship. That’s it. Sometimes that’s all a person needs. And that my friends, was the purpose for those three characters and one of the reasons why he was on Book Hannah’s list. The way Book Hannah and Book Skye paralleled each other was completely on purpose and helped us understand the over-all purpose of the story Jay Asher [the author] wrote. The tapes were lessons, not guilt trips. Bonus, Book Clay was able to get closure because Book Hannah was finally able to tell him everything she wished she could have when she was alive.

“Everything...affects everything.” 

Because the series focused on everyone else, the story really suffered. The book is much more useful than the series is. What lesson were we suppose to learn from the series? Especially if we were focusing on the people who hurt Hannah more and had them tell us what Hannah should have been? Book Hannah and Series Hannah were completely different. Actually, all of the characters were way different from book to screen, which again, is why the story really suffered. The writers on the show seemed like they made it their mission to trigger and get a rise out of the viewers with “hard-hitting,” “honest,” and “raw,” scenes. Which in fact was just very manipulative (example: for ratings!!) There was nothing raw or honest about Series Hannah’s suicide scene. Especially since Book Hannah actually took a handful of pills and NOT SLIT HER WRISTS. That scene was the hardest to watch. The book DID NOT focus on HOW Hannah committed suicide, because that wasn’t the point of the story, nope. It wasn’t important how she did it, but that she did it and why. Making such a big deal about filming her suicide scene not only traumatized viewers, but it looked to me like even Series Clay was affected by it. Plagued him with horrible images, which again, the viewers had to endure each time Series Clay did. It was annoying and manipulative of the writers to pull that shit. I’ve seen a lot of movies and shows that deal with deep shit, like suicide, and never have I ever experienced something like her suicide scene. I’ve been moved to tears watching movies about suicide, drug abuse, etc. but her suicide scene only angered me. There are better and much more productive ways of dealing with scenes that involve suicide and still getting exactly what the writers need from their viewers. Theirs was in poor taste, to say the least. Besides, why the hell was Series Clay narrating that scene as if he was there when she did it? And to top it all off, the writers had Series Clay say his most detrimental line of all, “I cost a girl her life because I was afraid to love her.”  What was the message here? What were the writers trying to say here? The only message I received was that Series Hannah, made all her tormentors feel so guilty and shitty to the point that she drove Series Alex to hurt himself (which actually is still to be determined. Seems like the finale hinted at a possible second season. But it was heavily implied.) But if Series Clay truly believed that he was still at fault for Series Hannah’s decision, then I suspect the viewers agree. Which is ultimately my biggest problem with the series, because I could have lived with all the changes if it had NOT AFFECTED THE MESSAGE OF THE STORY. Book Clay got closure and his answers and he understood it was not his fault or the others entirely, but that it was Hannah’s decision, ultimately. In fact the writers contradicted themselves within their own story line. When Series Hannah delivered her tapes the day of her suicide, she bumped into an old acquaintance that offered her a glimmer of hope, but still Series Hannah kept to her mission and still committed suicide. Her mind was made up and Book Clay was able to recognize that.

Clay: “But it shouldn’t have. I was there for you, Hannah. You could have reached out but you didn’t. You chose this. You had a choice and you pushed me away. I would have helped you. I wanted to help you. Your mind was set. No matter what you say, it was set.”

That’s what Book Clay said towards the end of listening to his tape. None of that, “I-could-have-loved-her-sadness-away,” type of bullshit lie. While Series Clay concluded that he let her down and was directly responsible for her death and even made an off-putting comment about jumping off the cliff he was standing on, making Series Hannah the biggest piece of **** who made everyone on her shit-list fill guilty AF. The writers really let Book Hannah down. Oh and fuck you Series Tony, although I actually enjoyed your character, besides that one useless scene where you and your familia beat the shit out of that one guy because ??? stereotype, anyone? When Series Clay asked Series Tony if he killed Series Hannah, his response was, “YEAH.” But let’s be honest that scene went a little bit different in the book.

Clay: Impossible to answer. Because no, I didn’t push her away. I didn’t add to her pain or did anything to hurt her. Instead, I left her alone in that room. The only person who might have been able to reach out and save her from herself. To pull her back from wherever she was heading. I did what she asked and I left. When I should have stayed. “No one blames me,” I whisper. I need to hear it said aloud. I need to hear the words in my ears and not just in my head. “No one blames me.”

Tony: “No one.”

Clay: “What about you?”

Tony: “No, I don’t blame you.”

And like I said before, the tapes were lessons not guilt trips. She needed them to know the truth, her truth and hoped they’d recognize the error of their ways and change for the better. BE BETTER PEOPLE.

I know that book adaptations into films/shows don’t always go by the book. Things change. I get that, but with such a heavy and real topic, and Jay Asher fighting every step of the way to let his readers know his story wasn’t about guilt but about starting a conversation about something so serious as suicide... I feel like the show let the original message down and made it about a girl blaming her classmates for her death. And made very shitty conclusions through Series Clay’s character that their viewers could actually believe as true.

Over all, I give the series 3/5 (for sentimental reasons...I had been waiting for thirteen reasons why to finally have a visual and I had high hopes. Damn. But you could say I’m being overly critical.)

I give the book 5/5 (totally recommend everyone to read the real story as it was intended. WORTH IT. But you could say I’m being biased.)

Bonus, here’s an article about the mini series: Other People Aren’t Responsible For Your Mental Health: Why ’13 Reasons Why’ Is Pretty Much Bullshit