#everyone laughs at his bad memory problems when he's actually traumatized

[wonderb0n]

the thing with dissociative amnesia (a trauma response in which the brain decides to forget everything it has experienced in order to survive) is that it has no filter when choosing which memories to erase and which memories to keep.

meaning that we don't only forget about the things that have harmed us, but also about those fleeting moment of happiness in between all the suffering (as long as they occurred within the same period of time in which we experienced the trauma ofc)

as someone who has and keeps struggling with this phenomenon, I can't help but wonder how many beautiful and kind moments, although short, have been erased from Xie Lian's memory in his eagerness to forget all the anguish he experienced for so many years in order to continue each day .

those little fragments of hope when life relents and shows you why it's worth continuing. sometimes it's feeling the warmth of the sun on your face after a very cold day, watching the falling leaves in autumn in a sea of ​​crimson and trying to grab one without success, listening to the birds chirping on a lonely morning, a cat deciding to come sit beside you, or finding some coins that you once saved in your pockets. things that you pray to never forget because they showed you a much needed ounce of affection.

and even if at the end you still do, there will always be someone around who can help you remember.

but who is going to bring those memories back to Xie Lian? the people he may have experienced them with are long gone, and those moments lost forever in time.

[pastelclownkitty]

nightmare and guilt :3

all of them really... but just the trio if all of them is a lot :3

Aspen: oh boy we all know where this is going! Aspen experiences chronic nightmares to the point of being scared to even fall asleep. These usually revolve around being betrayed by anyone Aspen's on good terms with, being found out as a monster and attacked, or they're based around traumatic events! Said traumatic events most often being Aspen's time in isolation or... honestly, anything with Agnus and Cleo. Aspen has a lot of nightmares about those two. As for actually managing them, Aspen would rather suffer than tell anyone. Aspen usually just tries to avoid falling asleep in the first place or, upon waking up from one, will try to find a distraction (usually getting some work done) so Aspen doesn't have to work through it.

Cleo: Cleo doesn't have nightmares that often, actually. I decided to be nice to him for once, surprising I know! Still more than the average person though. When he does have nightmares, they're often about him being cast away by people/almost killed for being a monster... or Aspen. There's something to be said about Aspen and Cleo having nightmares about each other. Anyways, he usually doesn't have anyone to tell about them in the first place, but if he did he'd probably just say it was a nightmare and refuse to tell anyone the specifics. He's insistent on being able to handle his trauma himself, so he'd deny help if anyone offered it. He's the type to wake up, force himself to calm down and get over it, and then try to go back to sleep. Fun facts about Cleo, this man falls asleep at 10 pm and wakes up anywhere from 9 am-12 pm.

Agnus: Agnus actually usually doesn't dream in the first place. She only started having "dreams" recently, which are actually just snippets from Venus's and Atlas's memories of their mortal lives. Seeing your god in mortal form witness their girlfriend's mutilated corpse hanging from a tree should count as a nightmare, but honestly Agnus just laughed her ass off when they got to that part. If she did have a nightmare (most likely just about Atlas), she'd just wake up with an overwhelming sense of emptiness and dread. It's possible she's had nightmares about Aspen and Cleo before, but she'd instantly forget when she woke up anyways.

you know a trio is good when theyve all had nightmares about eachother

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aspen: Everything with Cleo. Literally everything. Aspen also used to have a lot of guilt over lying to everyone, but Aspen's become so used to it that the guilt has mostly faded away and been replaced with numbness. Aspen suppresses all of the guilt, insisting Aspen is above feeling bad about anything. It's in the past now, after all.

Cleo: Cleo's grown used to his guilt, embracing it and using it to justify seeing himself as a monster. It's usually over people he's hurt, physically or otherwise. He also feels guilty for lying to people about being human the entire time he was growing up with Aspen, but it's not so much as feeling bad as it is just being disgusted with his own actions. There's a difference. He handles his guilt by punishing himself for it. I will add!! Cleo feels absolutely zero guilt over wanting to take down society, and much less than he should for suggesting the idea to Aspen and causing them to part ways. He fully believes he's in the right.

Agnus: Agnus cannot feel guilt! That was actually one of the first emotions she had ripped out of her, centuries before she ever met Aspen and Cleo. Atlas figured it would be an immediate problem for something designed to be at times an optimized killing machine, so he removed it. If she could feel guilt now, it wouldn't affect her unless she was able to feel attachment again and got her memories back, upon which she'd probably isolate herself for at least a week trying to comprehend it. She'd end up still trying to convince herself that she did nothing wrong in the end, and never show any remorse no matter how strong it got. She has a reputation to uphold, after all!

[dodger-chan]

⭐star⭐ (for the ask game :)

Okay, you like the Rocky Horror series, so enjoy the entire roof scene with full author commentary. It's the last scene of the second (and currently last, but hopefully not for too long) story, so anyone who wants the commentary should read both stories first.

Under a cut because it's long.

Steve hadn’t locked himself out. He wasn’t on the walkie anymore, either. It sat next to him while he stared out vaguely in the direction of Hawkins.

“Everything alright?” she asked. She sat down next to him, at an angle so she could see his face; nudged his thigh with her foot.

“Not exactly.”

“Shit, it’s not a code red, is it?”

“I wish,” he muttered with a soft laugh. Immediately after, he paled. “No, fuck, I don’t. I really, really don’t.”

The Upside Down is unreal in a lot of ways, and I do think that makes it less scary than everyday problems sometimes. Would Steve prefer being tortured by Russians or nearly being eaten by a monster to revelations about his sexuality? No, but he does have to think about it.

“Everyone’s okay?”

“Yeah, the kids are fine.” Steve smiled. “Lucas even took his walkie into Erica’s room so she could call me overprotective and paranoid personally.”

“So, something else, then?” Steve nodded. “You want to tell me, or?”

Steve nodded again.

Some things were too hard to say to someone who can see you. They couldn’t sit back-to-back; too many bad memories. Instead, Robin climbed into Steve’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her torso and pressed his cheek against her shoulder. 

Eye contact is very scary. Steve and Robin do a lot of not looking at each other for serious conversations.

“I figured out why I like this movie,” he said, surprising Robin. It had been hours since Eddie asked the question; Robin had assumed Steve had moved on. 

Steve is not particularly introspective, and that's a little bit on purpose. He's been watching Rocky Horror almost every day for a couple of months, it is his favorite movie, and Eddie being very pushy in the car ride is the first time he's really thought to wonder what about the movie appeals to him.

She waited for him to elaborate. He didn't, so she asked, "Why?"

Getting Steve to actually say words is like pulling teeth.

"I'm jealous of Brad." He spoke the words into her neck. 

It made a kind of sense. Steve and Brad had a lot in common. They were both ordinary guys, trying to live ordinary lives until they'd found themselves in a horror movie. 

This series exists because as soon as I started thinking about the Stranger Things teens having any interaction with Rocky Horror, I just knew Steve would identify with Brad. And while I think every one of our main characters would have fun watching the movie, and going to see it with a live cast, I think it would be more meaningful to Steve. Seeing Brad be in love with Janet but enjoy sex with Frank, and realizing finding a guy hot doesn't mean Nancy was right to call his love for her bullshit.

Steve's movie featured grotesque monsters and multiple traumatic brain injuries. And torture. Robin could not forget the torture, even if Steve preferred to brush it off.

Steve and the "it's not happening now so I don't have to think about it" method of coping.

Brad's monster looked like a human and the only physical harm he suffered was some minor cannibalism and briefly being turned into a statue. Plenty of reasons to be jealous.

“A cross dressing alien does seem a lot more fun than a giant spider built out of decaying human flesh.”

“Oh, for sure,” he agreed.

Look, Frank is kinda evil and definitely a murderer, but not nearly as threatening or scary as the Upside Down.

Robin didn't think that was all Steve meant.

Steve had chosen to step into his horror movie three years ago. Had chosen to stay in it when Dustin asked for his help last fall and again last summer. Had chosen to charge at an armed Russian soldier to give Erica and Dustin time to escape. Even though he’d told Robin that it never felt like a choice at the time, it always was. 

Part of not being an introspective guy: Steve doesn't think about putting himself between other people and danger. But Robin's right; he is making a choice.

From the moment he rings the castle doorbell, Brad stops making decisions. The film mostly just happens to Brad.

Frank mostly just happens to Brad.

So, when Frank visits Janet and later Brad in Rocky Horror, she comes to them disguised as their fiance(e). And when they each realize who they're in bed with and call for help, Frank stops them by warning them how it would look ("Do you want her to see you like this?") They are coerced into having sex with Frank and I think that's actually an important point for Steve.

Most of the time, when Robin had found their copy of Rocky Horror stopped mid movie, she’d just rewound it. A few times, though, she’d been curious and pressed play. And every time she’d seen the silhouette of Frank, kissing his way down an unprotesting Brad.

Brad gets to have sex with Frank but never has to admit he wants to have sex with Frank. And that's where the jealousy comes into play.

And Robin, having noticed what scene Steve seemed to be very interested in watching over and over again, wasn't completely blindsided by what Steve told her.

“Stevie,” she reached down and grabbed his hand. “I know words aren’t your thing and I do know what you’re saying so if you want me to let you off the hook here, I will. But I promise you it gets easier to think about once you give it a name.”

I love reading fics where Robin points out to Steve that he does, in fact, like guys. It's funny. But I also really want her to be understanding of Steve's limits. She's aware that Steve is figuring himself out, and forcing a label on him that might not fit right or he's not ready to hear isn't going to do him any good.

“I think,” he started, then paused. "No," he corrected himself. “I’m kinda gay, Rob.”

Period/Steve appropriate vocabulary. The non-offensive word Steve would most likely know to describe himself would have been gay, even though he's sure he still likes girls.

“That’s good. Great.” The exact parameters of what he meant by ‘kinda’ could be worked out later. “It’s so much less scary once you say it.”

I feel like Robin is a character who chaffs against the constraints of the closet. She wants other people to know who she is, and having words helps with that.

“No. It’s less scary because my best friend is right here with me.” She gently elbowed him in the stomach. If he got sappy now, she might tear up and then Mark might think she’d gone up on the roof to panic-cry.

Steve having Robin is pretty essential to his self-acceptance. The great driving force of Steve Harrington is that he wants to be loved. But in the dominant cultural message of the 80s, queerness is inherently unlovable. Him loving Robin, imperfectly but infinitely, is how he learned that wasn't true. He had to accept Robin before he could even consider accepting himself.

Robin had maybe been a little panicked when she’d left the kitchen, but she certainly wouldn’t have cried about it. She’d just needed a little space and the presence of her best friend.

Steve is not the only one to benefit from their friendship. Unconditional support is very important to her.

She squirmed around on Steve’s lap until they could look at each other again.

“So, I was thinking, actually, that when we get back I want to come out to my parents. And I think it would really help if you were there.”

Fortunately, in this universe, they won't assume she's pregnant.

“Yeah. If that’s what you want.”

“I do. That way if it all goes wrong at least the food will be edible,” she joked. Steve frowned, obviously more concerned about the possibility than she was. “It won’t go wrong. I was talking to Mark before I came up, and, well, it won’t go wrong. I just want you to be there anyway.”

I love the idea of Steve cooking for the Buckleys. Them being bad cooks is a Rebel Robin thing, but I like the thought of Steve getting assigned household chores because he's part of their family now. Via marriage or adoption, Steve is their son.

“Always.” Steve stood, picking her up as he rose and holding her weight until her feet swung to the ground. “Hopefully your parents won’t be too upset to have me over again without Eddie.”

They had been rather insistent that the next time Steve came by for dinner he should bring Eddie along. It was kind of an odd request and -

“Oh.” A thought struck Robin as she and Steve walked hand in hand to the stairwell.

Steve and Robin touch a lot. It doesn't always make the narration, because they don't think about it, any more than they think about how they do their mind reading trick (reading subtle cues that other people would miss or misinterpret).

“What?”

“I'm pretty sure my parents think Eddie is your boyfriend.”

They do. It's Steve's turn to say, "not my boyfriend" to Robin's parents. Perhaps they will believe him if claims it's an unrequited crush?

[turtleybeachin]

Burnout in the Devildom: Belphegor's Chapter

(re-post to share entire fic on tumblr)

Pairing: Belphegor x GN MC Rating: G Word Count: 1.4k Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Platonic, Brat!Belphie

You’ve been working hard in the Devildom. Classes are intense, especially when it feels like you’re having to play catch-up just to have basic understandings of things everyone else knows innately. Add to that living with seven avatars of sin who can’t go more than six hours without some sort of catastrophe, and somehow you’re always dragged into the middle of their chaos to sort things out and be their big sibling despite being the actual baby of the entire world?

You’re exhausted. The sort of exhaustion that does not just go away after a good night’s rest and an eye mask and a glass of human-world wine. The sort of exhaustion that starts sapping the life out of everything you do, everything you touch, until you feel like you’re just going through the motions and always one inconvenience away from a complete meltdown.

BELPHEGOR:

While everyone else fusses about your change in mood and habits, Belphie merely rolls his eyes and ignores the drama.

It is not that he doesn't care about your troubles; no, he just understands (perhaps better than most) that nosy, overbearing, overprotective family trying to force their solutions onto you is sometimes more traumatizing and triggering and upsetting than it is helpful.

Healing is a personal struggle, a personal choice, done on an individual level and timeline.

You're bothered by something, obviously. But you also haven't said anything to any of them and you haven't asked for them to help, so as far as he's concerned there's nothing to be done.

(Beel doesn't understand, worried as he always is about his family, but at least Belphie trusts that of anyone in that house his twin will be the most likely to support without smothering you.)

He finds you sleeping away the day in the attic again one Saturday, and it's only because Beel's been making those big sad eyes about it that he sighs and drops down on the bed beside you heavy enough to make sure he wakes you.

You stir and yawn and roll into him, groggy and used to him well enough by now to assume he wants to cuddle.

Normally, you'd be right. In fact, you are right, even now. But as he curls himself around you, he gets a little extra pokey with an elbow and a knee to get your attention and wake you up further. "You're sleeping an awful lot lately. Didn't realize you were trying to become the new Avatar of Sloth."

You scowl and give him a swat, ineffectual and adorable, and he laughs low at your ire. You're just exhausted, you grumble, and of all the brothers, you didn't expect Sir Snooze-a-Lot here to be the one to be complaining about it. 

Belphie snorts as you settle back down with him. You're very comfortable, MC. You're warm, a little softer than demons are, and you smell wonderful in a way that's both invigorating and relaxing at the same time. Combined with the way you curl into him, the way you know how to arrange yourself so that both of you are cozy and content? 

Beel is going to owe him so much for this, he thinks mournfully, and he gives you one good shove to knock you off the bed. "You're not here for that much longer, are you? Stop wasting your time here asleep," he drawls in his irreverent monotone.

He knows the alluring temptation of sleeping or hiding away to avoid people and problems. But he also knows that doing that means you also miss out on all the good things with the bad. His brothers have memories he doesn't, games and jokes and trips, and they always say he was sleeping during those times.

It's not a fun thing, MC, to realize in avoiding the mess and drama, you also avoided the bonding moments. Life goes on whether or not you participate, and you'll regret those missed opportunities one day.

You're pissed at his shitty half-ass advice, because it's not like you want to just sleep and do nothing all the time. You hate your laziness as much as anyone else-- probably more. But self-loathing remarkably hasn't fixed your problems.

So if you have to be awake and 'stop wasting time', you decide he has to suffer with you. You lean over the bed and grab at him, trying to yank him off the mattress, but he barely budges. (For someone so slight, he's way heavier than you'd expect, and he's an expert at the Limp Noodle technique.) 

You've half-climbed back onto the bed to roll and tug and push and pull at the stubborn Avatar of Sloth with barely anything to show for your efforts. You're frustrated and winded while he's laughing quietly into the mattress. 

Taking pity on your half-hearted efforts, he rolls himself into a sitting position and leans into your personal space. Fine, then, he's up too, happy? What was your plan once you got him up?

"... Really, MC? You don't have a plan? You're exhausting." But he does get it, sometimes choices are overwhelming and it's kind of nice to just go with the flow and let someone else decide the details.

So the Devildom Botanical Gardens it is. It's out of the house (which means no intruding brothers), it's peaceful (which means minimal risk of accidental chaos), it's got all sorts of interesting flowers you've likely not experienced yet, and if he has to be awake for this too it's going to be somewhere he enjoys. 

Also, he knows there is a section of the garden that is all plants and fungi native to the Human World that don't require sunlight, and it's one of his favorite places that he suspects you will appreciate as well. You don't complain of homesickness much, but he knows you must miss the familiarity a bit; even he and his brothers sometimes miss the Celestial Realm.

One of the best parts about going out somewhere with Belphie is the way you know he doesn't care at all how you look, and you won't feel underdressed beside the sleepy demon in his soft, loose-fit clothes.

The other great thing is how you can count on him to not expect you to be high-energy all the time. You're used to one another's silences, there's no awkwardness or pressure to fill the air, and you can stroll hand-in-hand just lost in your own thoughts. Or maybe he'll draw you gently from your shell, asking questions about your preferences and sharing his own. Or if you do feel like talking, you know he'll listen attentively, not interrupting or ignoring you.

The Devildom Botanical Gardens is a hauntingly beautiful place, one part elegantly maintained garden paths, one part barely-tamed forest of swaying boughs and coiling blooms. It's obvious why Belphie would like it here; there are many excellent places to nap every time you turn around. 

But the point today was not to sleep, and so he resists the temptation and drags you along with him through manicured paths, pointing out various trees and flowers as you go.

"Don't sniff those, they're cursed, MC. If you want to sniff something, try these here."

Ahahah!! You should see your face!!! He didn't say they'd smell good, just that they did smell. You're way too trusting, and it's never going to stop being funny.

"But seriously, these here smell good. Beel's tried to eat them before-- not recommended. They even gave him a stomach ache."

And here, this isn't harmful to humans, he assures you as he plucks a viney blossom that curls around his fingers in a lazy serpentine motion. He reaches out to you, tucking it behind your ear with a soft chuckle as he frees himself from its clutches and encourages it to twine into your hair, around your ear. It brings out your eyes like that.

You spend the day wandering the gardens together, doing something but so leisurely it's almost like doing nothing. You dodge man-eating roses and duck from flying pitcher plants, you trip over raging willow roots and startle from shrieking lilies, and you sniff acid lavenders and admire flowers of the abyss. 

You visit the little corner dedicated to the human world, and it isn't much like home, but it's comforting nonetheless. Like you, it's a little bit of humanity learning to thrive in a new place, adapting and growing. Like you, it needs a little help sometimes, some special care from demons who want to make sure it doesn't just survive but flourishes.

Belphie is content to let you set the pace of the day, following your leads and offering suggestions only when he sees you hesitate a little too long, indecisive and frozen in the overthinking. There is a café close by for when you're both hungry, and it's a chance to get a meal in peace together, too.

Because at the end of the day, whether he's making you laugh or making you fluster or making you scowl and swat at him, it's all sights he treasures and memorizes. Because all of those expressions, MC, are memories worth making, and they're all even sweeter than an afternoon dreaming beside you.

[trothplighted]

Actually good point about the violence in the Wizarding World. I'm listening to GoF rn and I was shocked by some things like Fred and George letting Dudley choke on his tongue or Wizards messing with Muggles memories like toys at the World Cup, Harry name in the Goblet being an obvious serious and worrying sign and every adult just kinda accepting it and going "okay go celebrate Harry w/ the Grryfingdors lol" etc

I wish there was more conversation on the psychological impact of being able to horribly injure or maim someone or have someone horribly injure or maim you but it gets fixed IMMEDIATELY with a spell and there’s rarely a scar or a lasting sign, and maybe your memory gets modified so you don’t even remember it. Plus, there’s a culture of violence being okay that doesn’t really exist for Muggles - you can challenge somebody to a duel in the books if they insult you! In the 90s! You can prank people at school by turning them into things without their knowledge and it’s funny (the Canary Creams), you play card games where the deck might blow up and your version of chess involves actually destroying the pieces that are lost! Kids can get Acid Pops off the shelf in a store that literally melt through their tongues! Fred and George trick Ron into making an Unbreakable Vow that would have killed him when they’re small children!

And the adults around seem to exist basically to stop the kids from killing anyone, but not to teach conflict resolution skills that don’t involve hexes or pranks or tampering with food or outright violence (Millicent Bulstrode doesn’t get detention for putting Hermione in a headlock in CoS). You’re allowed and encouraged to retaliate against bullying with more aggression, getting into fights is ordinary and expected. The only time that Harry gets into trouble for that kind of thing is when Umbridge already has it out for him.

It begs the question of culture shock and how the characters themselves see the behaviors they exhibit, because a lot of behaviors that we readers see as horrific and traumatizing are basically fine in the wizarding world, but people who are Good People commit really nasty assaults against one another for a laugh or out of annoyance or because the other guy had it coming, and it’s never called out or seen as bad or questionable.

That’s the biggest problem I have with the way Rowling tries to handle bullying, and in particular how she tries to handle Snape being bullied - she acts like the things James does are unusual or particularly sadistic, and they’re just not when you look at how the wizarding world as a whole behaves. It doesn’t make it okay, but trying to act as if two books ago Ron wasn’t talking about how his tongue got melted through when he was four because his brothers fed him a sweet that hurt him and then they got “walloped” by Arthur (spanking and corporal punishment of one’s children is also normalized in their world), or as if Ron wasn’t almost killed in wizard chess in book 1, is just weird. Everybody solves all their problems with violence in this world, and everybody expects teenagers to know that’s how problems are solved.

One thing I’m trying to express in this Grindeldore AU where Gellert is a professor is that the students at Hogwarts think it’s very ordinary to answer an insult or an inconvenience with the magical equivalent of a slap or a smack. They think in those terms, they see themselves as mature and capable of delivering on threats, and they see experiencing violence as something you just learn to deal with. That’s because they don’t have therapists, they don’t have any context for bullying being bad, and since everyone learns the same magic, everyone is expected to be ready to throw down, or to find protectors.

idk I find this a really fascinating concept, because it ties into the weird libertarian thing the wizarding world has going on, the transition into modernity that hit Britain in the Victorian era when it came to private property and authority over one’s private life never really happened for them

[therealvinelle]

How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible. 

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested. 

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning. 

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all. 

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No. 

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden. 

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.6 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N finds out more about how the lovedust works and it leads to her realizing her biggest fears about Peter if he’s cured. 

Word Count: 4.2k

Author’s Note: There’s a lot going on right now but thank you guys for being so incredibly kind and patient with me. Shit is going to hit the fan real soon with Lovedust so stay tuned! ALSO Don’t forget to leave comments if you guys liked it or hey even if you hated it! ALSO ALSO My taglist is getting pretty big and hectic so if I missed yours, I am VERY sorry pls just message me again so I can add you asap!

Warnings: Mild language, mentions of death and nightmares, slowburn

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

As your eyes fluttered open, you gave yourself a minute to adjust to the sound of rain hitting against your bedroom window. You closed your eyes as you inhaled deeply, your arm instinctively reached beside you to touch Peter, only to find that side of the bed empty. 

You opened your eyes again and slowly raised yourself up to turn to see that your prediction was correct and that he wasn’t next to you. You knew it wasn’t a dream, you distinctively remembered him holding you as you fell asleep but you guessed he might’ve left soon after. 

The memories of last night rushed through your head as you felt your heart drop slightly and already, you felt empty so early in the morning. You remembered everything about the nightmare but more importantly, you remembered Peter cradling you like a child as you cried in his arms. 

You couldn’t wrap your head around a single feeling to describe the thoughts in your mind. As every day passed, Peter was showing you more and more how much he truly cared for you, and the thought of him not being able to keep the same energy once he was cured terrified you. 

You loved this new Peter and how kind and compassionate he was around you. It was annoying at first dealing with the cringey pick up lines and weird comments about the two of you getting married but now that you realized there was more to those side effects, you found him even more endearing. 

It was the small things like how he sacrificed the right side of his body so that you could fit under the umbrella perfectly or how he would willingly sit through a horror movie for you even though you both knew how much he hated them. 

You even saw a change in yourself and how you treated him. The other day, you two sat side by side on the couch and shared headphones while listening to the playlist you made for him or when you would tell him a dumb joke just so you could hear him laugh. 

It was selfish to hang onto the idea that Peter would always be this kind to you but you rather savored the moments you two had together since you knew better to know that nothing in life was guaranteed. 

You felt embarrassed that he had seen you so vulnerable, especially since Peter didn’t know what happened to your parents and now, you felt like you owed him an explanation. You looked back at your clock and sighed once you saw that you had already missed the beginning half of school, you thought screw it, you were taking a mental health day. 

“ Is it senior skip day or something?” You looked up to see your dad standing in your doorway with his arms crossed over his chest in a scolding manner but once he saw your dazed expression, he dropped the act,” Y/N? Is everything okay?”

You could feel your throat tighten as you shook your head, refusing to cry again. 

“ Nightmare,” You swallowed to stop yourself from letting anymore sobs from coming out of your mouth as Tony sat next to you and put his hand on your shoulder. 

“ I know kid, I know,” Tony brought you closer to him as you hugged him tightly. 

You had told Tony about your nightmares but he was already well aware on what happened with your parents. You were still pretty young when your parents had passed and you’ve lived most of your life with Tony as a parent but that didn’t mean you weren’t traumatized over what happened years ago. 

Tony had not only given you a good home and had locked down your future, but he was always there to listen and offer help, whether it was from himself or health experts.

“ It was Peter this time,” You said softly as you felt your dad hug you even tighter,” I don’t know why but he was in the nightmare and he-he tried to hurt me...I feel so guilty, I don’t know why he was there but my brain just made him  you know?” 

“ That’s not something you can control Y/N, remember what I said, your brain just picks up on different people-unless he did something. Did he do something to you? Cause I swear-”

“ No, no Dad it was the opposite,” You sighed as you pulled away and bit the inside of your cheek,” I know you told me not to hang out with Peter but...we’ve been getting closer and I think I...I don’t know. All I know was that when he comforted me after my nightmare, I felt the safest I’ve been in a long time….Things are different now. I don’t know what I could say to convince you but please don’t get mad.” 

You looked down at your bedsheets to avoid his gaze and you weren’t sure if he was burning a stern glare at the back of your head or not. 

“ I’m not mad about Peter, I already knew you were seeing him behind my back anyway and I should’ve known you two would’ve pulled some Romeo and Juliet bullcrap. Anyway- You’re strong enough to look after yourself, hell stronger than some of these people living here and if I may speak candidly, I know you could kick his ass if he ever crossed a line,” Your dad said as you let out a small chuckle,” I want you to be safe and happy. I would prefer you feel that way without a boy in the mix but I won’t yuck your yum.”

You wrinkled your nose but you couldn’t help but smirk,” Do you think I’m strong enough to become an Avenger?” 

“ You already are,” Your dad smiled as you inhaled deeply,” but before we get too mushy, I did actually want to talk to you about the other day, you know, about Peter’s health.”

You sat up straighter in your seat as you nodded attentively at him before he continued. 

“ It’s really important that you keep this between you, me and Banner, okay? I’m gonna use some big words so keep up,” You nodded again as you felt your heart beat rapidly against your chest,” you already know this but the lovedust activates a huge amount of serotonin in the body and sometimes that can lead to some major health problems. Well, with every day that passes, he runs the risk of having a ventricular tachycardia and that’s what explained how he collapsed the other day-”

“ Hold on, he collapsed? And did you say a ventricular tachycardia? Like a heartattack?” You asked as you felt your own heart stop for a moment as your dad gave you a confused expression,” So you’re telling me the lovedust could kill him? When did this happen?”

Your dad inhaled sharply as he swallowed hard,” Yesterday afternoon. We were done running tests and Banner noticed a car pull up and I said it was your friend John-”

“Josh.”

“ Yeah sure. Then we heard a loud thud and Peter just dropped. He just fainted but still, it’s a sign that things are getting worse,” Your dad said as you felt your heart completely shatter.

You felt like it was all of your fault. Even though Peter just fainted, he could’ve hit his head and died right there and you couldn’t stop yourself from filling your head with more terrible thoughts. 

“ Oh my god, I never thought things would get this bad,” You said as you rested your forehead in the palm of your hands, trying to keep a consistent stream of thoughts but each idea made you think of Peter getting hurt,” and there’s still not a cure? What have you guys even figured out so far-it’s been almost a week!” 

You knew your dad was trying his best but all you wanted was for Peter to get better and it didn’t help that time was against everyone. Peter could suffer a heartattack at any time of day and it didn’t make you feel better than nothing was being solved. 

“ Well we have a pretty strong theory about what caused the lovedust if you’re up for hearing it,” Your dad suggested as you hesitantly nodded. 

“ Our main theory is that the lovedust is effective when the patient- Peter- makes contact with the variable-you- and since you were the first person he saw, it activated his serotonin output. So it could’ve been anyone and Peter would’ve had the same reaction,” Tony said and it was so silent for a minute that you could hear a pin drop,” why is your face pale?”

You didn’t know how much you didn’t want to hear that theory until this very moment. You weren’t even sure why you could feel your throat close up again but this news made you sink back onto your bed. 

Peter really didn’t mean anything he was saying. After all those late night talks about how in love with you he was, those were all just side effects. Those were never his thoughts. He never really loved you. 

“ Oh...that’s good I guess,” You said quietly as Tony’s pager buzzed. You could tell Tony wanted to stay and talk to you but when he looked down at the notification, it seemed pretty urgent,” you can go, I’m just gonna stay here for a little bit.” 

“ We’ll talk later, okay kiddo?” Tony patted your knee and walked past your bed, closing your bedroom door behind him. 

You stared up at your bedroom ceiling as you thought about what your dad said. Peter’s condition was getting worst but now, at least they figured out something that could help them along the way. If they could figure out the properties of the lovedust than that means they could reverse it and find a cure. 

What if you didn’t want them to find a cure? 

You almost talked yourself out of your thought and called yourself a selfish idiot in the process, the goal was for them to help Peter. This could help Peter, you reminded yourself as you got up from your bed to get dressed. 

You weren’t sure where you wanted to go but you thought that your mental health day could carry on to the outside world. 

Mad....why were you mad? 

You had no reason to be so upset and you kept reminding yourself as the elevator went down to the garage. You aggressively pressed the button to unlock your car and once you sat down in the driver’s seat, you started your car and backed out of the garage. 

It was pouring outside and while you hated driving in the rain, you just had to leave to clear your head. 

Why were you upset?

Maybe because for once in your life, you felt special. 

You stopped on the brakes and you could feel your heart sink into your chest as the rain hit against your windshield. 

You shook your head slowly before you slapped your hands against your steering wheel hard.  

Was it awful that you loved the attention you were getting and maybe, just maybe, you were starting to see Peter differently? 

You slammed your firsts against the wheel again and again as you let out a frustrated grunt through your gritted teeth. 

You were mad that Peter could die. You were mad that there wasn’t a cure. You were mad that the lovedust had ruined your life. You were content without Peter meddling in your life but now that he had left such an impression, all you wanted to do was make sure he stayed as true to himself as he was now. 

You couldn’t expect that from him. You couldn’t expect that once he was cured, he would act back to his regular douchebag self but anything was possible, he didn’t owe you anything. 

You taunted yourself as you tried to snap out of whatever this hellish tantrum you were throwing. 

Why would you be upset over a guy who had fake feelings for you all this time? 

It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t your fault either.

Anyone. It could have been anyone. It could’ve been a sockpuppet and Peter would’ve probably tried marrying the damn thing. 

You snapped your head over to the passenger side of the door once you heard a hard tap come from the window. Once you saw it was Peter, you turned to face the front and unlocked the door without looking back at him. 

He opened the door and sat down beside you in the passenger seat without saying anything. He was soaking wet from head to toe and while you were annoyed he was getting the inside of your car wet, you had more important things to focus on. 

It was too quiet for your liking but there wasn’t anything you wanted to say to him. Frankly, you weren’t sure why you even let him in.

“ How did you sleep?” Peter asked quietly as he tested the waters.

It was clear that you were in some type of mood but Peter never knew how to approach situations like this, especially since he didn’t know why you were so upset. 

“ I slept fine, you?” 

“ Good I guess,” Peter shrugged as he shifted awkwardly in his seat,” are you okay? Are you upset about what happened last night-”

“ No,” You said truthfully as you leaned your head back against the headrest,” I mean, yes, I’m okay but no I’m not upset about last night.”

“ Well something is clearly bothering you and I just want to help. You know you can tell me anything, I mean it Y/N, we’re friends now. We shouldn’t be hiding things from each other,” Peter said as you let out a dry laugh. 

You knew you couldn’t reveal everything to Peter about what your dad had told you but it didn’t stop you from feeling angry. 

“ Okay, you want to be honest, lets be honest. When were you going to tell me that you collapsed at the lab?” You asked as you turned your whole body to face him,” my dad told me this morning.” 

Peter inhaled deeply but looked you straight in the eye,” I was going to tell you... eventually. It’s not like I had time to really sit down with you, I know you’re going through a lot right now and I didn’t want to stress you out. Besides, I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal.”

It was a big deal, he could die. That’s what you wanted to tell him. His life was at stake and yet you were keeping this big secret from him. It was hypocritical and wrong and if anyone else had told you, you would’ve revealed to Peter about his worsening condition. 

But it was your dad who told you to keep things a secret for now and you just had to trust him for both of your sakes. 

You looked at him for a moment as you studied his face while he did the same to you. It was as if you both had so much on your mind yet no one wanted to be the first one to detonate the bomb. 

“ I’m just so tired Peter. I’m tired of having conflicted feelings on whether or not this lovedust has been creating more problems than solving them… Whatever this is between us, I like it a lot but I hate feeling so pathetic to the point where I actually enjoy the feeling of having a guy give me attention only because of some space shit,” You turned your attention back to the steering wheel,” How do we carry on with our lives once you’re cured? What’s stopping you from being a complete asshole to me like before?” 

“ I told you, nothing has to change. No matter what happens, we’ll always be in each other’s lives as friends or something more. I would never treat you the way I did in the past, I swear on my life.” 

Peter could feel the energy in the car shift right as he finished speaking but there was nothing he could do to change the course of the conversation. The path had already been set and now, he just had to strap in and hope he could hang on. 

“ How am I supposed to believe that? How do I know anything you’re saying is true? Everything this lovedust has been built on is a lie, you don’t love me Peter. It’s a fucking chemical reaction that is messing with your body,” You snapped loudly but Peter hardly flinched,” your mind and body has been corrupted by a parasite. You say you love me but if you take the lovedust away, you don’t. It’s that simple.” 

“ Just because it’s a chemical reaction doesn’t mean that the way I’m feeling is a lie. I spend so many nights thinking about you and how happy you make me so for you to say that I don’t actually love you-”

“ Are you listening to yourself? You love me because of the dust, why is that so hard for you to understand? Love is supposed to be natural, this is not natural!  If the way you’re feeling isn’t a lie, look me in the eye right now and tell me, did you love me before the lovedust?” You asked as you turned back to face him,” tell me the honest truth, did you love me?” 

Peter felt like his body was burning up in the worst possible way and his throat felt dry as he thought carefully. It was so hard for him to see how terrible he was in the past because of the lovedust, all he could think when he saw you was just utter love. 

You were visibly hurt, even if you were shouting at him he could read you like a book and there was something that he knew was there but he just couldn’t figure out what it was. It felt like some sort of test that Peter had to decipher; he didn’t have all of the pieces of the puzzle so how was he supposed to get the full picture? 

“ I don’t...no. No I didn’t,” Peter said softly as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding,” but that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you.” 

There it was, the million-dollar answer to the million-dollar question. Of course he didn’t love you, he had tormented you for years. Your dad’s “theory” was right, the lovedust didn’t matter if he had loved you beforehand. It could’ve been anyone. 

So even if you might’ve known all along, why did it hurt and why were you upset?

“ Stop lying to me. You never cared about me, you loved humiliating me,” You said in a shaky breath,” you loved seeing me cry and you loved it when I got mad. I could see it all across your face, you loved making me absolutely miserable. So you can say you love me all you want now, but I know the truth. You don’t understand, this lovedust is ruining me, Peter. Do you know how painful it is to be tormented for years and all of a sudden, the same person is now in love with you just like that?” 

“ Ruining you? You didn’t touch the damn thing! And you want to talk about pain-Do you know how painful it is to love you?” Peter shouted as he felt his voice crack,” If I’m not near you, I feel like I’m going to die but when I’m around you, my chest feels like it’s going to burst open and it’s painful. I’m in pain right when I wake up in the morning to right before I go to sleep everyday because the mere thought of you drives me insane-” 

“ I didn’t ask for you to love me-”

“ I didn’t ask to love you either!” Peter shouted back louder, this time to make sure you would stop interrupting him,” My body feels weak all the time, I’m fucking falling apart because I love you so much. So don’t tell me that I’m lying about loving you because that’s all I feel when I look at you. Even when I’m pissed off I still love you but if you think for one second I’m going to sit here and let you attack me for my past that I have already apologized for, then I don’t want to hear it.” 

Peter gave you one last look before getting out of your car and straight into the rain. Peter slammed the car door behind him so hard to where the door completely fell off the hinges but Peter was so angry that he kept walking away. 

“ You fucking...ugh!” You screamed as you got out of your car and followed behind him. 

You were completely livid, you both were being unfair but just because he was going through a different type of pain than you didn’t mean yours hurt any less. 

You shouted after Peter but the rain was so loud to the point where you considered that maybe he just couldn’t hear you. You sped up your pace to the point where you almost slipped against the concrete. 

“ You don’t get to tell me that I can’t be mad at the past Peter when it’s only been a week since you got infected!” You yelled as you grabbed Peter’s arm to stop him from walking away from you,” Just because you apologized doesn’t mean I can let it go so easily. For years, you made me feel like I would be alone for the rest of my life because no one would ever love me!”

Peter whipped his head back around to face you as you kept a strong grip around his wrist,“ And I’m telling you now that I love you and I was a fucking idiot for hurting you. Jesus Y/N I am sorry but we’ve had this conversation before so why are you mad at me?” 

All you could focus on were his eyes, which were darting back and fourth across your face as if he was pleading with you. You had pushed him across the line so many times but now, Peter was pushing back because he just needed a clear answer. 

You both were tired of yelling and fighting and in this moment, Peter was so close to tearing down the walls you had set up for years to keep yourself safe against him. It was eating away at you because deep down, you knew why you were mad at him, you just didn’t know if you could bring yourself to let it slip out of your mouth.

The rain sounded muffled and all you could think about was how cold you were feeling. You were somewhat forcing yourself to focus on anything other than Peter but you were trapped in his desperate gaze. 

You felt your breath hitch as you could feel yourself getting choked up,” I’m mad...I’m mad because the way you feel about me right now, it’s fleeting... it’s temporary. One day when you’re cured, you’re going to stop loving me and that terrifies me.” 

Peter squeezed your hand and you didn’t even realize that while you were talking, the grip you had around his wrist had moved to interlock your fingers with his. You could feel your chest tighten as you moved your eyes down to your hands and you slowly moved your gaze to meet Peter’s. 

“ Why does it terrify you?” Peter asked softly and now it was your turn to plead with him using your eyes as if you were saying please don’t make me say it.

Maybe a part of Peter knew that you wouldn’t admit that maybe, there was something developing between the two of you that you just couldn’t bring yourself to admit. But Peter knew you well and even as he read you like a book, he wanted to hear it for himself. 

“ I’m terrified because…” You almost said it as a whisper and even Peter was having a hard time hearing you because his heart was beating so loudly,” because I…”

You swallowed hard as you looked down at his lips and even if it was just for a second, Peter caught you staring. Peter felt his knees weaken and he was seconds away from just pulling you into his arms but it was your move. 

Peter had given you all the power and while a part of him felt relieved, it didn’t stop him from reaching up and tucking a strand of wet hair behind your ear. This was the moment he had been waiting for. 

He had given you all of the puzzle pieces you needed except he saved the last one just for you. He wanted you to put the last piece in so that way you two could step back together and admire all of the hard work you put into it. 

 You would’ve. You were going to let him know everything and unravel in his arms because finally, you could let go.

You wanted nothing more than to pick up that stupid puzzle piece and slam it into the puzzle to show him you were serious. You were going to let your walls crumble down and for once, you were going to be fearless. 

But you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. 

“ I can’t,” You said softly as you let go of Peter’s hand and practically rushed back towards the building,  leaving Peter alone in the rain. 

@eridanuswave​ @juliet-winterson​ @akacalumtrash​ @ilovepeterparker13​

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[the-aro-ace-arrow-ace]

i'm curious about your thoughts on the dinner scene from when vanya is being interrogated, like you mentioned, five stayed silent and didn't eat anything while everyone else did

SOME THOUGHTS ON FIVE’S BEHAVIOR AT THE LSD DINNER TABLE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT MAKE SENSE CAUSE IT’S 3AM AND I HAD LIKE 1 FOOD

Ok first of all, i have no idea what it means, but before Vanya arrives, he has his head down, not looking at Ben either, just. staring down, not wanting to be there (also in the close up shot his hands are shaking)

When r*ginald is speaking, five is blocking him out, distracting himself with his hands.

- Hunched over from the stress and pressure he’s been under for so long / isn’t in the line with his siblings / doesn’t fit in (posture problems from being hit on his back with a cane?)

- Five might’ve been the one r*ginald was targeting the most during his stay there- loud, smart and disobedient, something that had to be eliminated

- The only one who has his hands on the table; it’s an act of rebellion against their father, while also being the one most similar to him out of the siblings

- Hands together- traumas are more complex and connected / desire to keep the siblings together / hands are tied

- the only one to look at vanya entirely, treating her like an equal.

Fuck if i know why he stayed silent, only looking impatient, possibly because he was away for majority of his siblings lives, practically being a ghost from the past. Perhaps it was the same reason why vanya in the finale of s1 didn’t have any flashbacks of him being mean to her.

- Moves the most freely out of the siblings; rolled sleeves to show he’s not playing tricks (also putting a napkin on his lap which i have no idea what it means but Manners TM)

- looks like he wanted to say something to vanya, but was cut off by reginald / ‘s creation (grace showing her robot side to five), denied a chance to speak by something outside of his control

- Him and vanya are the only people whose plate had to be adjusted, not in the right frame of mind, r*ginald having to “fix” their behavior (vanya with the broken monocle incident, five with his attitude)

((I may have a theory that no rights r*ggie didn’t tell five to start with seconds when it came to time travel because when physical abuse stopped being effective, r*ginald had to come up with something else and he knew five would try to do it and would fail to come back; it was a punishment for getting out of line))

- Didn't look too happy about eating his brain either; doesn’t seem to be eating, just cutting it, choosing which parts of his mind to interact with while blissfully ignoring the rest, but appearing to do so, this seeming fine

He’s having trouble with his memories too; Childhood PTSD from back in the academy- forms from weeks to a few years after the incident, while he was 4 decades in the apocalypse. PTSD makes you forget stuff, most of the traumatic years actually, except some memories here and there, but your body reacts anyway.

Plus compared to the apocalypse the stay in the academy wasn’t “that bad”, despite being physically and mentally abused. He might not remember most of it, but his body still has the responses, mainly see s2 ep 2, 4 and 6 for direct reaction to veggie. Also seeing the uniform for the first time back in ep1, which definitely brought back up some unpleasant memories

- He's the only person to take a drink, splashing down the brain / suggesting to vanya to do the same. Despite not saying anything, it may be a little try to be helpful

Needs an outside influence to deal with the trauma and what happened, he’s not able to process it all on his own, because his judgement is clouded.

If you don’t remember most of what happened and had bigger problems on your hands your entire life, how are you supposed to care about what actually happens to your mind

- While the rest is judging and laughing at Vanya, he looks concerned and worried, blinking as if he saw something too ; looks tired, dark circles under his eyes, but still looks at vanya to check if she’s fine, putting his family above him

In conclusion: someone help him.

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Summer Lovin’ (Lucien x Tarquin)

Hello all!

This fic is something new, and will be in multiple parts, updated as and when I finish the next part. It is a Lucien x Tarquin fic. I know what you’re think but I had this thought about them because everyone writes crackships, but then I told @tswaney17 and the two of us fell in love with the idea. She is to thank for this spiral.

I’m using my general ACOTAR tag list for this, but you do not have to read it. Also do let me know if you would like to be kept out of the tags for this in the future. (The title is just something for now because I honestly haven’t decided something yet😂)

~~~~~~

Lucien’s life had been chaotic lately, but still, he hadn't quite expected this to happen, of all things.

Elain had finally said she didn't want this bond between them. He knew it was going to happen and he couldn't exactly blame her. Having it related to a traumatic experience wasn't going to be something positive, and no matter what the Cauldron thought of them matching each other, accepting the bond wouldn't have made them happy. She had the Spymaster for that, and Lucien was grateful to see how much she’d healed since seeing her as skin and bones in the library of the House of Wind. Azriel helped her and loved her; it wasn’t something predestined or whatever other shit people liked to talk about. They had chosen it for themselves, and Lucien couldn’t fault them for being happy.

Then came one of the biggest bombshells of his life.

Beron was not his father.

Though he had found out several months ago, it was still fresh in his mind, as though it were yesterday that he had been told.

Lucien still didn’t understand what he was doing in the River House. Rhysand had turned up in the human lands this morning to get him. When he’d asked why, the bastard just smiled at him. Lucien had honestly thought that the male might have been taking him to his death. But then he winnowed them into an office, Feyre sitting in the window, little Nyx in her arms and a content smile on her face. Now it was a few hours later, Nesta had been and gone, collecting her nephew for his nap, and still, he didn’t know why they had brought him here.

“Are you going to tell me what is going on now, or do I have to wait several more hours?” Rhys was just smiling from where he sat on his chair, wings hidden and humming, making Lucien roll his eyes. Feyre came to sit next to her mate, giving him a reprimanding look. She gave Lucien a soft smile.

“Just a little longer, I promise.” Feyre had barely even finished the sentence when there was a knock on the door. “There we go.” She stood, smoothing the skirts of her dress before walking towards the door, trailing light fingers over Rhys’ shoulder as she went. When she pulled the door open, Lucien could honestly say he was shocked to see that it was Helion on the other side, led by Cassian.

“Your guest, dearest sister. Please, take him.” Helion let out a low chuckle behind the general. He placed a hand over his heart, faking pain when Cassian turned to look at him.

“You wound me. Why so hasty to get rid of me?”

“If you keep looking at time the way you are, I will not be held responsible for what Nesta does to you in a jealous rage.” Helion’s retort was cut off when the female in question shouted from somewhere else in the house.

“You can take him! He’s been a pesky annoyance as of late.” Cassian disappeared then, grumbling about how she didn’t mean that, he was never annoying and Nesta was madly in love with him. Which was true,-the madly in love part, not Cassian not being annoying- anyone could see it. Lucien would never tell her about the doe eyed look she got though. He valued actually being alive.

Helion laughed again, bending down to kiss Feyre on one cheek and then the other.

“Feyre, you look as lovely as you always do. Motherhood suits you.”

“That I agree with entirely.” Rhys said as his mate welcomed the newcomer into the room, closing the door gently behind them.

“I’ve told you Rhysand, no more babes until Nyx is older.” The male nodded in agreement, though Lucien thought they were going to be having this discussion a lot in the near future. She smacked him over the back of the head when he smirked, before sitting once more. He had a feeling they were talking to each other in secret again. “Have you made it so no one can hear us?” She asked when they were all settled. Helion now sat in the chair next to him, giving him a nod, Feyre sitting on the arm of Rhysand’s seat. The High Lord of the Night Court gave a dip of his head. “Warded the moment you closed the door, my love.”

“Good. Now, onto what we brought the both of you here for.”

Helion crossed an ankle over the other knee, hands linked where they rested in his lap. The High Lord of Day was dressed in a mix of gold and black. Gold fabric covered his body. One side of his chest left bare, clothing pinned at the other, flowing down his body, belted at the skirt. It was embroidered around the hem with reds and greens, and it seemed to shimmer like glitter under moonlight. Sandals wrapped around the dark skin of his calves. “Forgive me for asking, but why such secrecy? Can you not trust your own family?”

Lucien didn’t understand why they were being so careful all of a sudden, either. Any time he’d been in here, discussing all the problems they were still trying to overcome from the war with Hybern, they’d never stopped the others inside the house from being able to hear too. Rhys tilted his head slightly to the side. “The information will leave this room when you do, and you will do with it as you see fit.”

Lucien spoke then, frustrated. “You brought me here hours ago, told me absolutely nothing on why I had to come. Just tell us what’s going on.” Rhys raised a dark brow at him, but said nothing, so he turned to Feyre. She sighed, wringing her hands together before stopping herself. It was one of her nervous traits, and nervous traits accompanied by serious conversations never boded well.

“Back when we were trying to get the High Lords to work together, to help us against Hybern, you told us a story about Lucien’s mother, Helion.”

“Yes, I did.” Lucien hadn’t known that. But he supposed looking for Myriam and Drakon meant he wasn’t privy to a lot of information. There were things from the time he was gone that he was still learning about.

“Including the affair that you had.” Lucien sucked in a sharp breath, slowly looking at the male seated beside him. Beron was not nice to his mother, he knew that. But the man had spies everywhere, always had. He would have had to have known about his mother being with Helion. And if he knew, he would have had her killed for it.

“But my mother lives. My father wouldn’t have allowed her to live after he’d found out. And trust me he knows, he always knows when his family isn’t doing exactly what he wants them to.” Beron would have wanted to set an example, a vicious one at that. He showed that with what happened to Jessminda. Thinking of her only made Lucien think fondly of their good memories together now. He was no longer attacked by grief and self hatred, though waves of sadness would come and go. On the bad days, the storm in his head made them rough and dangerous, but those were few and far between.

Feyre started to look uncomfortable, causing Rhys to continue. “To have killed her, would have caused a scandal. He was younger then, and it wouldn’t have done him any good.”

Lucien still didn’t understand and it was starting to piss him off. His fire tempted its boundaries, flames growing hotter and higher in his frustration. It felt as if it were boiling his blood, heating his skin. He pushed it down into the depths where it belonged. “The only scandal is that she wasn’t faithful. The gods know he fucking hasn’t been. But then again it was always ‘do as I say and not as I do’ with him anyway.” Feyre simply shook her head at him. He opened his mouth to say something, to say how pointless this meeting was if they weren’t going to get to the point, when Helion suddenly sucked in a sharp breath from beside him. Lucien startled slightly.

“Mother above.” He breathed. “He can’t be. No, you’re lying, I don’t believe you.” Helion just stared at Lucien when he turned to him, amber eyes wide, mouth partly open.

“I’m not lying, Helion. I figured it out that day, and I’ve also had his mother confirm, but do not ask me how. You can see why Beron hated him the most now.” Lucien was severely done with them taking but still not explaining anything to him.

“Confirm what! What are you fucking talking about?” Rhysand looked at him, not even phased by his outburst.

“Beron is not your father, Lucien.” No. No. They were lying. When he looked at Feyre, when he looked at his friend, she gave him a small nod. He looked back at the male beside him, the male who seemed to be shocked into silence by the situation.

As if Lucien’s life couldn’t get anymore fucked.

It had been months since that day. Feyre told them again that she wouldn’t say how she’d been in contact with his mother, and Lucien didn’t want her to tell him anything anyway, no matter how much he wished to find out so he could see how she was. To talk to her himself. It would put her at risk, and Lucien wouldn’t allow that. And he knew now that Helion wouldn’t either. His father. The High Lord of Day was his father. Lucien was the sole heir to the Day Court. Helion had been nothing but welcoming in the time sincerely but he never pushed. Said that it didn’t have to mean anything, if it wasn’t what he wanted. Lucien had been a little confused with his wants at first, but had decided that he wanted them to acknowledge it. Wanted them to get to know each other.

Helion asked him a few weeks ago to stay with him. They didn’t have to be in the same building, that Lucien could stay wherever he liked in the Day Court, but he did want him to stay. Lucien had found he couldn’t refuse. Jurian and Vassa had been angry with him, saying that he was just abandoning them, that clearly he’d only used them. He had tried to explain that he’d just found the one who had actually fathered him. That he wanted them to have some kind of relationship, something that was robbed from the both of them. The two wouldn’t hear it, and told him to leave. So he went. They had each been closer to each other than they ever had with Lucien anyway.

That was how he was here now, standing in the garden of the small townhouse his father had found for him, the male in question standing across from him. Helion was standing in the early morning rays, arms at his sides, golden crown absent and spouting words Lucien never thought he’d hear in his life. “You want to do what?” Lucien said, still wondering if this was something that was actually happening. Helion sighed, rubbing both hands over his face for a moment, before pulling them away.

“I know that it’s not even been that long since we’ve found out the truth. And I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but I think this could be the biggest step towards allying the courts together.” Lucien could see the frustration on his face, knowing that he struggled to ask this.

“You want me to marry the High Lord of Summer?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know that you want to do this?” Helion moved closer to him a little.

“I proposed a marriage alliance to Tarquin, but I didn’t say who. He agreed after a lengthy discussion, but only if who I chose wanted it. You know I haven’t formally announced that you are my son yet, and this would mean I’d have to.” Lucien folded his arms across his chest, suddenly self conscious.

“And you don’t want to announce it?”

“No.” Lucien stopped, hands tightening where they rested on his biceps. Helion, suddenly realising what he’d said, scrambled to backtrack. “Gods, I meant yes. Yes I want to tell them all I have a son. I just weren’t sure if you were ready for that.” His father let out an unsteady breath, meeting Lucien’s eyes for a second before looking away, only two repeat that over and over. “You don’t have to do this, but having my son marrying into another court makes the alliance stronger than if I were to pick out anyone else.” Lucien understood. And he understood wanting all of the courts to get along. It would mean they could truly live in peace, something they had all hoped for.

“I’ll do it.” Helion’s head shot up, disbelief written across his face.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I really thought you were going to say no, probably yell at me or something.” Lucien’s brows furrowed, a red lock of hair falling in front of his face.

“Why would I do that?” Helion sighed, almost exasperated. Though Lucien noticed he didn’t hold tension in his shoulders anymore, seemed more relaxed and at ease now that Lucien had answered him.

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was using you. Also, I didn’t even ask. Do you like males? That should have been a question right? I mean, I just assumed, I shouldn’t have.” His father was rambling, and Lucien chuckled.

“Yes, I like males. And Tarquin is a good male, a good High Lord. It might not end in love but, I might get a friendship out of it.” Lucien smiled, a full grin, teeth showing. It was something he realised he hadn’t done in a long, long time. Suddenly the breath was sucked out of him, and strong arms wrapped around his body. It took a moment, but Lucien returned the gesture, hugging him back. Helion was taller than him, and nearly pulled him off of his feet.

“I’m sorry. Sorry for asking. I should have found another way.”

“It’s alright. I think this might be good for me. I had Tamlin and we both know how that ended. I didn’t fit, at the Night Court, not like they do. And Jurian and Vassa...well, I told you what happened. Maybe I’ll find a home with Tarquin.” Helion pulled back, holding his shoulders, a soft smile on his face.

“You may not think it, but you fit here. I never got to be there before, and part of me is glad because the not knowing kept you and your mother safe, but I’m here now. I want to be your father.”

“Thank you.” They decided to continue walking through the garden then. Mostly in companionable silence, occasionally asking the odd question here and there. Lucien was getting lost in his own thoughts. He wondered whether Tarquin would be okay that it was Lucien he was marrying. If they’d be able to make some kind of happy life together. The few times he’d seen him before, Lucien could admit he was attracted to him. It was easy to make conversation with Tarquin, to find common interests. There was the chance it would never turn romantic and Lucien would be okay with that, but at least he’d have a companion to live his life with.

Maybe this was his chance to get his own happy ending.

~~~~~~

Well there it is. The beginning. You’ll see Tarquin next time I promise but I just wanted to give you something to see if you were going to like the story or not. Please be respectful, I’m tired of the ship wars. I want this to be a safe place for me to post the ideas that I have.

Tags: @myfriendscallmeraba  @thesirenwashere @elrielllll  @stars-falling @silver-flames @1islessthan3books @bamchickawowow @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @courtofjurdan @junkiejosten10 @mu-si-ca-l @agem10 @harmonyindark245 @tanaquilpriscilla @starrynightsbooks @maastrash  @elriel4life @illyriangarbage @b00kworm @thewayshedreamed @rhyswhitethorn @22emmmmmm @mimianyy @stop-breathing-its-annoying

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

I normally don't send requests cause I think I'm bad at explaining what I want to ask. But I was wondering if you would do a fred x potter!reader where fred is older than her. And she is realizing that she has a crush on the older boy. Yeah you can take it anywhere.

oh I have plans for this one

set in a non voldy AU

You were Harry's little sister, one year younger than him. He and you were close for the most part but something about this year was different. This was the year you were going to Hogwarts. James of course was excited to see his little girl go off to his school that he made plenty of fond memories.

For the most part you were excited. Until people started associating you with things your brother had done. "Way to go Potter, couldn't stop your brother from sneaking into the woods again?" "we lost fourty house points because of your stupid brother!" was just the beginning of the things that you heard. The worst part? You shared the same house as him. Therefore when he lost points, they blamed you for being unable to stop him. It got worse though when he retaliated against Draco after a colorful insult was thrown at him. Slytherins decided the best way to retaliate was to go for you. So prank after prank, fight after fight you were tormented and teased.

You kept this from Harry though, no one really aware of the situation until one of the pranks backfired horribly. Pansy fucking Parkinson. She did this, shoving you into the lake when you were near it. The problem? Mermaids. Ginny saw this and ran over, ultimately saving your life. She told Mcgonagall what happened, Pansy getting in trouble while you were mostly traumatized from even walking near the lake. You walked in, wrapped in a blanket and soaked. Ginny walked in behind you. "I'll make us some tea okay? Try to relax." She said. Fred and George looked up as you shivered. "What happened?" Harry asked. "You did!" You snapped. "Me?" "You think just because your a quidditch star you can do things just to get away with it! Well I've been dealing with the consequences for months! People keep blaming me for what you've done and I'm sick of it!" You snapped. Fred frowned. "Who did this?" He asked. "Slytherin." Ginny said. "George." Fred called, the two walking out. "I didn't know." Harry muttered as you got up and went to your dorm. "She's upset Harry... She'll cool off." Hermione said.

Fred and George both took it upon themselves to prank all of Slytherin to get back at everything they did to you. Pansy Parkinson? Was pissed. She walked into the Great Hall, angrily walking over to you. "YOU!" She snapped. "Me?" You asked. "DON'T PLAY DUMB POTTER" she snapped. "What did I do!?" You asked. "YOU PUT A SMOKE BOMB IN THE COMMON ROOM!" she yelled. "I don't even know how to get to your common room!" You said. "Oh come now Parkinson, surely you know a Weasley prank when you see one!" Fred said standing up. "You sent your Lackeys to pick up your mess, typical Potter!" Draco snorted. "I didn't--" "She didn't send us. But let the record show that if you mess with her again, we will end you." George said, putting a protective hand on your shoulder as Fred put his hand on your other. "Mark my words Weasley, you're going down." Pansy hissed. "Looking forward to it you insufferable git." Fred said, tipping an invisible hat to you.

Fred and George managed to get the heat away from you, but now they seemed to want to spend a lot of time with you. Both of the boys realized they didn't know you as well as they should've so they started walking you to classes, sitting with you and Ginny at lunch, they seemed to take some sort of liking to you. You however chose to ignore them, figuring the only reason they spoke to you was because of Harry. However, one day George cracked a joke. It was a stupid one, the punchline being a pun about a skeleton, but you laughed. Fred almost found that little laugh of yours to be... Cute.

The first year was coming to a close, it being the last week of school. You were sitting on the couch one late night, looking at the fire in the fire place. Fred sat next to you and you didn't say anything. "So we've completed another year." Fred said. You nodded. "You start your second year. You'll have a lot more activities available to you, think you'll try out for Quidditch?" He asked. "Hell. No." You said. "I'm not even sure I want to come back here next year." You muttered. "What? Why?" Fred asked. "Everyone cares about who my brother is. No one knows anything about me, no one has tried to know." you muttered. "Me, Ginny and George have." he said. "Try not to fret on what other people say Y/n. You want an identity outside of 'Harry's sister'? Make one for yourself. If me and George cared about what other people said all the time we would not be the legends we are now." he said simply. "....That's... Why do you care?" You asked. "Because we don't want you to go." Ginny said walking in. "We actually like you." George said sitting next to you. "....Okay... I'll stay." you nodded. "Aye! she stays!" Fred said, playfully roughing up your hair and making you laugh.

The school year came to a close, you and Harry going home. Two weeks in to summer though, Lily announced that you and Harry would spend the summer at the Burrow. "wait wait wait. Harry AND me?" You asked. "Apparently Ginny, Fred and George all want to see you too." Lily nodded. "But what about you and dad? or uncle Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail?" you asked. "We will visit you two, we all have work though honey." Lily assured. "Promise?" you asked. "I promise you we will write, visit, do you want smoke signals too?" James asked making Lily roll her eyes.

So you spent the summer at the Burrow, having the time of your life with Fred and George, actually becoming very close with them. The second school year started and you actually seemed to enjoy it, spending a lot of your free time with Hagrid and the substitute teacher for Quirrell... Uncle Moony. This year, Hagrid was to take care of a dragon for Fred's brother. It was sick, Charlie being unable to cure it. He figured Hagrid would have better luck so he sent it to him. You helped Hagrid out all the time so Hagrid decided that you should give it a shot. Well something you did worked because the dragon was better in no time. Which prompted a LONG letter to Fred about his best friend and asking for information about you. "IS SHE HOPING TO HAVE A CAREER WORKING WITH MAGICAL CREATURES, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN SAY YES!" or "IS SHE SMART? WHAT AM I SAYING OF COURSE SHE'S SMART" were just a few of the many pages he sent.

"Okay, what did you do to get my brother to like you?" Fred asked, setting the thick envelope next to you as he sat down. "What?" you asked. "My brother Charlie messaged all of us questioning who you were and if you wanted to work with dragons." George explained. "Wait what do you mean, all of you?" you asked. "All of us." Ginny, Ron, Fred and George all said. "Seriously, what did you do?" George asked. "Well... Charlie sent Hagrid a sick dragon, he couldn't seem to cure it. I've been helping Hagrid so once Hagrid seemed to fail they asked me to at least try... Something I did worked because Blaze was shipped back this morning and he's okay." you explained. "Think you'll answer him?" George asked Fred. Fred looked at you and then the letter. "Do you want a career with magical creatures?" he asked. Harry rose a brow and noticed you ponder this before nodding. "Yeah. I think I do." you nodded.

So Fred answered the questions, sending a letter back to his brother. Two weeks later you were sitting in the Great Hall, talking to George when the doors opened and this wild looking homeless guy ran in. And he ran up to you. You jumped back before Fred choked on his drink. "CHARLIE!?" He and George gasped. "This is Charlie!? I thought he was homeless! or a crazy guy! or both!" you gaped. "Tell me I've got the right kid." He said. "Would you slow down Mister Weasley, we all need to have a long discussion about what's best for Y/n." Remus halted. "Right! Your office or Hagrid's?" Charlie asked. Remus looked at you and then Charlie. "Alright. Mine." Remus sighed before you three walked off. "What does your brother want with my sister?" Harry asked. "I have no idea." Ron answered. " I think I know." Ginny muttered.

Well that summer you ended up apart of a apprenticeship. Was Lily thrilled for you to be working close with dangerous creatures in a foreign country? no. But you seemed to be working towards a goal which she was proud of. So you spent your summer in Romania with Charlie and his many, many, many, MANY dragons. Due to the fact that the postal service in Romania was less than stellar though, no one had heard from you except James and Lily who was checking in with officials regularly.

By the beginning of the year, you still were missing by the first dinner. Until George noticed you walk out of the faculty door near the table. Fred locked onto you. You looked... Different. Your hair was longer, your eyes were brighter and you seemed.... more mature. You didn't have to do anything, you didn't have to say anything to voice the newfound maturity, it was in the way you stood and carried yourself. You were wearing this leather type armor, standing there with a small grin as Charlie emerged from the door behind you.

"What's Charlie doing here?" Ron asked. "No clue, this is the first I've seen Y/n with my own eyes since she left for Romania." Harry said. "We thought you wrote to her." Ginny said. "Tried, the mailing in Romania is bad. Something definitely happened over there though. Mum and Dad took off in a hurry that one week, it's why I was with you guys for those few weeks of summer." Harry explained. Fred rose a brow, noticing a mark on your neck... It was almost like Remus's scar. He wasn't sure if what he was seeing was actually a scar though, seeing as the armor seemed to cover most of your body.

Charlie leaned over, whispering in your ear and you nodded before whispering something back. Charlie seemed to resist laughing at something you said before you walked over and sat down. "Hey guys, how was your summer?" You asked. Harry blinked. "....Anything else to add to that?" He asked. "...Uh... Nice to see you bro?" you asked. "...How about 'hey, so I'm wearing armor the first day I'm at school' or something!" Harry huffed. "Actually I have to wear this on the job, metal armor gets too hot and the leather actually works really well for dragons who are teething." you explained. "You've spent too much time with Charlie." Ginny observed. "What was it like?" Harry asked. "I thought mum and dad would've told you, they were in Romania the last two weeks...?" You said confused. "Wait, back up, your parents left too?" George asked. You blinked. "Yeah, why?" you asked. "Dad left pretty damn quick to Romania a week ago, so did our brother Bill." George pointed out. "Oh... We had an... incident." you coughed.

"What incident?" Fred asked. The Great Hall doors seemed to answer your silent prayers as they opened. Two large groups stood there, one in some powder blue uniform, the other wearing a red uniform. You recognized a few of the students in red and as they entered the room it was clear a few of them recognized you. You ducked your head down, hiding a bit from the boys. "Would the Durmstrang students please sit with Gryffindor and the Beauxbatons sit with Ravenclaw" Mcgonagall instructed. "shit." you muttered. "Rider?" A boy called. "Rider's here!?" Another boy asked. "Who is Rider?" Ron asked. "Afternoon, Rider." a voice said, sitting next to you. Both Ron and Harry looked as if their eyes were about to pop out of their heads. "There's no way that he's talking to--" "Hey Krum, how's it going?" you greeted, seeming like you were trying to avoid the odd nickname the boys called you by. "I didn't think you'd return to Hogwarts when I met you, I'm surprised." He said. "What? wanted me in Durmstrang?" you snorted. "Yes." students from Durmstrang all replied in unison. Fred rose a brow. "Wanna introduce us to your famous friend here Rider?" Fred asked. "Oh. Viktor, my best friends Fred, George and Ginny. Down there is my brother and his friends Ron and Hermione." You said. They all waved but Krum pointed at Hermione. "You were at the World Quidditch game." he commented.

She looked at Harry confused on how he'd be able to recognize her face considering they never met each other. You noticed that look in Krum's eyes. He found her to be attractive. "Wanna explain why a famous quidditch player knows you?" George asked as Krum seemed veered off in a conversation with Hermione. "Met him in Russia." you said. "You were in Romania?" Fred said confused. "Oh we were trailing a Ukrainian Ironbelly that decided to go rogue and long story short... I rode a dragon." You said. "Merlin's Beard your summer sounds exciting." Neville said. "Oh it was life changing." You laughed. "So think you'll stick with the whole dragon thing?" Ginny asked. "Oh hell yeah!" you said, biting into an apple. "so why is Durmstrang and Beauxbaton here?" Hermione asked. "Oh, we figured you knew. The Triwizard tournament." A boy answered.

Fred and George perked up. "The what?" Fred and George asked in unison. "The-- " "Hogwarts is proud to announce that we are holding the Triwizard tournament. Students third year and older may participate, we encourage all of you to put your names in the cup. Only one submission and there will be an age line around the cup to ensure the younger students do not try anything." Dumbledore announced. "Wicked." Fred and George said in unison. "I've missed that." you chuckled. "Missed us did you?" George teased. "Of course. You've made school barrable." You said with a smile. Fred felt it again. The strange warm feeling. You turned back to Ginny and Fred just looked at you as you carried on a full blown conversation with her.

The week carried on with you being called out of certain classes. You would disappear with Hagrid and reemerge with soot on your face or just not come back entirely. You didn't say a word to anyone as to why, not even Fred and George. "Wanna explain why you've been disappearing?" George asked. "Oh, Hagrid just needs help with his lessons." you lied. Course, Fred knew there was some truth to what you were saying. It was like the apprenticeship didn't end in Romania and simply picked back up with Hagrid.

The boys never pressed you any further on it but certainly questioned why a few ministry workers were also pulling you out of class, asking you questions. On top of the oddities you were always wearing a scarf or ensuring your neck was covered. Cedric Diggory asked about this once and got a half assed answer about the Whomping Willow. The group knew better though. Something definitely happened in Romania, what is was not even Harry knew. You walked into the common room at almost two in the morning, unaware of Fred still being awake as you tip toed towards your dorm. "Hold it." He halted. You froze and looked over. "What were you doing out this late?" He asked. "Hagrid. Again. Claimed he spotted a unicorn and wanted me to try to find it." you lied. "Cut the crap Y/n, what were you doing?" He asked. You huffed and sat down. "Ministry meeting." you said. "And you were at a ministry meeting because...?" He asked. "Because we're trying to hunt someone." you muttered. "We? Why are you involved in ministry business?" Fred asked. "Do you know who Fenrir Greyback is?" you asked. "The guy who's trying to make a 'werewolf army'?" Fred asked.

You nodded, a far off look in your eyes. "We found him." You muttered. Fred blinked. "What do you mean, 'we' found him?" He asked. You took off your scarf, undoing your tie and revealing a scar on your neck. "It's why mum and dad took off. Harry doesn't know because we all know he'll get way too worried and then try to do something himself." You muttered. "What happened?" Fred asked. You stared into the flames of the fireplace. "We were in Belgium, chasing a dragon." you began. "It took us through the mountains and before we could turn back it triggered an avalanche. We got stuck in a cave for about two days, me and Charlie had to go deeper to find an exit. Well, when we got to the other exit of the cave we found him, he was hunched over and feeding on a rabbit. He seemed like he was going to attack Charlie but... He saw me and changed his mind I guess." you answered. You shook your head and let out a long sigh. "We got lucky that the other part of our group found us and chased him off but by then the damage was done. The ministry has been asking questions since." you muttered. "Does it hurt?" Fred asked. "Only when I think about how I got it." you answered. Fred said nothing else and you figured he was just processing what he heard.

Instead he wrapped his arms around you and just... Held you. "Fred what are--" "Let me just... hold you for a bit. I may not be able to keep you safe when your off in places like Romania but at least when you're here I can protect you." He said. You relaxed in his gasp and laid against him. "I wouldn't be so sure about that, I'm usually waltzing with danger by this point." you said making him chuckle.

The next morning you two were found asleep on the couch against each other. "Oi. Lovebirds, Dumbledore's got an announcement." George said. You leaned up, realizing that you fell asleep on Fred. And that your tie was off. And that Harry's eyes were locked onto the scar. "Shit." You muttered. Fred leaned up and you sighed. "Harry--" "Don't explain. I probably do not want to know." He said. "Who gave that to you?" Ron asked. Harry tried avoiding looking at it but at his second glance he realized what they were. "forget what I said earlier, when the fuck did you meet a werewolf!?" Harry asked. The group all looked at him. "Harry." You sighed. "It wasn't... Him was it?" He asked. You frowned. "How could you even ask that!? No it wasn't Him!" You snapped. "I'm just trying to get answers!" he said. "And I'm not giving them to you, let's go see what Dumbledore wants." you said, retying your tie before walking out.

Harry however just walked and pestered you. George looked over at Fred who was watching you with this almost... sad look. "What happened last night?" George asked. "She's been through a lot George." Fred muttered. "...You like her." George realized. "What?" Fred asked. Oh poor Fred. The moron was so dense he didn't even realize that was the case. "I don't... I mean I... What?" Fred asked. "You like her." George repeated. "I don't--" You sat down in the Great Hall, Fred sitting across from you and whispering now to George. "I don't." he said.

Still though, when Dumbledore was speaking he heard none of it. Instead he was so focused on you and that damn scar. "Now for the Champions." Dumbledore cleared his throat. Dumbledore cleared his throat. Pieces of parchment flew out from the cup. "Viktor Krum." Dumbledore called. You clapped for your friend, seeming nervous though for some reason. "Fleur Delacour." again, you clapped but your expression seemed very worried. "Please, please, please." you whispered. "Y/n Potter." Dumbledore called. The whole table looked at you with a shocked glance as you seemed relieved and you walked over with the rest of the champions. "She put her--" "Name in the--" "Cup." Harry finished Ron and Ginny's thought.

You went to some sort of meeting for the champions but when you got back all of the Weasleys and Harry were standing there. "What in the hell were you thinking!?" Harry asked. "Gee, I need a new death experience this year." You said sarcastically. "Y/n, he has a point. You've been through a lot this summer and now you want to go into a deadly competition?" Fred asked. Fred had made it clear to the rest of the group he had more answers than they did. "Look I will be a lot better off than the others, I already know what the first challenge is." You said. "Oh and what's that?" Harry asked.

There they stood in the Forbidden Forest behind various bushes to keep hidden from the keepers as they got a shocking answer to their question. Dragons. The answer as horrifying as it may have been was dragons. You stood there in your leather armor talking to Charlie who seemed to be laughing with you. It was clear that Romania made you two closer. You seemed to thrive in this environment. You loved this job and it was clear with the way you handled everything. "Wand at the ready!" a man said. "Let the kid try first Markus." Charlie halted.

A dragon thrashed in his cage, growling. You walked up to the cage, getting closer than most of the workers had been able to. The dragon clearly recognized you. "Zephyr... Calm. Remember what we practiced." You said softly. The dragon almost seemed conflicted as it grunted. It shifted but seemed to relax. "Have any weasels or rabbits?" You asked. They handed you a dead rabbit and you tossed it to the dragon as a reward. "I say, you will probably have the quickest time compared to the other two students." A ministry worker said. "I almost feel like I have a unfair advantage." you said. "You do. But everyone cheats in this thing." Charlie said. You nodded. "Hey. You've got this Y/n... Have you thought about what you're going to do with the reward money?" Charlie asked, sitting on a crate. You rolled your eyes, sitting next to him. Both of you had moved close enough that the group could hear you very well now. "I don't know if I'm going to even win." You said. "Okay, okay. But let's say that you do. What will you do with the money?" Charlie asked. You pondered. "Give it to Fred and George." you said.

Fred and George looked at each other, shocked by your answer. "Really? None of it for yourself?" Charlie asked. "Dad's family comes from money, on top of that, both of my parents work. I'm set for now. I don't need the money. Fred and George though? They have an underground business going on and I think they are going places. They just need the money for it." You said. "Can I ask you something?" He asked. You nodded. "What's going on with you and my brother?" Charlie asked. "Which brother are you talking about?" You avoided the question. Charlie gave you a "You know exactly who I'm talking about" look. You sighed with a nervous blush. "I don't know." you said. Harry looked over at the twins who were listening intently.

"Sometimes I think that he likes me too, other times I know that he's two years older than me and he probably sees me as a kid." you said. George looked over at Fred who was swallowing hard. Charlie shook his head. "I don't think he does. The letter he wrote me about you seemed pretty damn genuine." Charlie said. "What do you mean?" You asked. "I asked him to send me a character reference for the apprenticeship." Oh no. no no no. Fred was the only person who was asked for this outside of faculty members, he knew now they were talking about him. "Hold on a minute." Charlie said. He walked away, leaving you alone for a few minutes. George snuck over to Hermione, Ginny, Harry and Ron. "Aye. This is getting way too personal, you guys should go." George said. Hermione was already sneaking back, as was Ginny. Harry frowned and Fred just seemed to be... Frozen.

His feelings were only just now hitting the poor jackass. "Here." Charlie said, handing you a letter. You sat there, silently reading the letter. First off: Fred could write really well. It was a talent you had no idea he had. The other thing was that it definitely showed some degree of him liking you. Course he described you as "The best friend I didn't mean to gain but glad that I did" which made you slightly unsure if Charlie was right or not. "He is definitely in love with you." Charlie said. "He calls me his best friend Charlie." You halted. "My brother does not write like that unless there's a driving force behind his emotions. He. Loves. You." He said. Harry looked over at Fred and George sighed, looking down. Harry gave a questioning look to Fred but his face said it all. The defeat and acceptance on his face said it all.

The group left and went back to the common room. "Harry? Buddy? Say something." Ron said. "My sister." Is all Harry began with. Fred sighed, running a hand over his face. "You have a ton of girls around you. And you choose my SISTER!?" Harry gaped. Fred couldn't meet the boy's eyes. "Harry. Lay off." Ron said before both Fred and George looked over with a surprised look. "Y/n has proven to be more than capable of navigating things on her own. I don't think Fred even planned this much less knew of his own feelings." Ron said. "...Ron you've been hanging with Hermione way too much." George said. "Well at least I got a little smarter." He shrugged. Harry ran a hand over his face. "I need sleep. That's it. I need to sleep." he said walking away. Fred sat there on the couch in silence, Ron and George sitting in the chairs near him. "What are you going to do?" George asked. "Ignore it." Fred muttered. "What?" Ron and George asked. "Got anything better? Because I'm all ears here!" he asked. Panic was on the boy's face, his eyes wild. "Her uncles could kill me! Her brother, who is a very close friend of mine is pissed! What the hell am I supposed to do!?" Fred asked.

George sighed and leaned forward. "Ignore the outside opinions and go for it." George finally said. "Did you not just--" "I heard you. But when have other people ever influenced your decisions?" George asked. "You have. A lot." He muttered. "Because we're a team and a team makes decisions together." George said. Ron nodded. "I think he should go for it." Ron said. "Go for what?" you asked, walking in. The guys all froze and you blinked. "You guys okay? You seem tense." You said. "We're all good." George said. "Right... I'm going to bed I'm tired." you shrugged before leaving.

You stepped into the dorm, Ginny and Hermione looking over. "You guys are still up?" you asked. "Yeah. Y/n, sit down we've got somethings to tell you." Hermione said. You sat down, confused. "Is something wrong?" You asked. "We know about you liking Fred." Ginny said. Your heart dropped. "Uhm... what?" you asked, voice small. "We know." Hermione repeated. "Who knows?" You asked. "What?" Ginny asked. "Who all knows?" You asked. "...George, Ron, Harry--" "Fuck." you whined. "And Fred." Ginny added making your face drop. "What!?" You gaped. "Your brother decided to follow you out, we went with him figuring that you were going out to whatever challenge was happening. We were right to an extent but then Charlie and you started talking. Me and Hermione left, George tried to get Harry to at least go but then Charlie started talking and it was too late." Ginny said. You ran your hand over your face before getting up. "Where are you going?" "Out."

You ended up sneaking outside, sitting on the ground near the whomping willow. Filch never really walked over to the area so you felt in the clear. You were picking at the grass, looking over the hillside. You weren't exactly thrilled, having a crush on an older boy. If you could take back your feelings, by God you would. This was scary and tiring all at once. Harry was probably pissed, the girls probably were judging the hell out of you right now and Fred... God Fred probably thought you were ridiculous.

"Y/n?" A voice called. You looked over to see Sirius with a backpack. "Uncle Padfoot?" You said confused. You looked over at the moon. It wasn't full yet, so what was he-- You saw his backpack and instantly knew. "Brewing a Wolfsbane potion?" You asked. He sat down his bag with a nod, sitting next to you. "It's almost three in the morning, what are you still doing up?" He asked. "A lot on my mind." You muttered. "Is it the tournament? We got the letter you were in it." He asked. You shook your head. "Talk to me pup." He said. You hesitantly explained your situation and Sirius chuckled.

"James is going to hate this." He said. "I don't know what to do Padfoot. I feel like he's going to think I'm crazy-- I don't want to ruin our friendship but I think I just did!" You groaned into your hands. Sirius patted your back. "Y/n, you didn't ruin anything, if worst come to worse, play dumb." He teased. Your lack of laughter told him you were seriously conflicted. "Y/n... You may be young. But the possibility is not impossible, in fact it's very likely he feels the same." Sirius said. "How do you know that?" You asked. "Because when I visited you over the summer I also went to the Weasleys about three days after. I wanted Molly to know." He said. "When I showed up Fred was pestering me with so many questions. I let him know you were 'sick' and even then he was worried." Sirius said. "What if he doesn't feel the same Padfoot?" You asked. Sirius looked over at you. "What if he does?"

You ended up going back to the dorms. Breakfast that morning had a noticeable absence of you. You didn't show up for dinner either. Fred was now very much aware that you knew that he knew. Ginny hadn't seen you for the next few mornings, Hermione only saw you walking to classes but never in your dorm. In fact, if it weren't for the signs of you actually coming back to the dorms and Peeves confirming that he had seen you to the twins, everyone would've assumed you just left. Today though, there was no avoiding you. It was the day of the first challenge. Your mother, father and uncles were all waiting with you in the tent as the other champions were preparing. "You've got this Y/n." Sirius said. You nodded, putting on a pair of gloves. You wished Fred was here to calm your nerves but he wasn't. You were the one that drew the Horntail. That dragon did not like you, nor did it take to training like the others. This one was aggressive. Though, you knew exactly how to deal with that.

Harry hugged you. "You kick ass out there." He said. "Will do." you said. "Potter. You're up." You stepped out of the tent and James wrapped his arm around Lily who was clearly nervous for her daughter. You stepped out, the crowd roaring for you. You swallowed hard, seeing Fred sit up straight as he watched you. Fred mouthed "are you okay?" mouthed. "Kill. me." you mouthed back, earning a small smile. Then you heard it. The unsettling growl rang out and you drew your wand. Charlie stood in the tent, watching you. "Accio Ranger." you said sharply. "The hell is a ranger?" Peter asked James who was shrugging in response. A small tube flew to your hand and you stood guard. You side stepped near the golden egg and it lunged, you pressing a button on the side of the tube like object. A blade shot out of it earning a few gasps from the crowd.

"Come on Y/n... Do the thing." Charlie muttered. "There's more?" Remus asked. "Oh hell yes there's more. A ranger is used by dragon tamer's all the time." Charlie said. Harry turned back to you. The dragon roared in your face but you stood your ground, again pointing your wand at the sword. "Incendio." you said. Fire emitted from your wand, lighting the blade on fire. George gaped at the sight, you standing there waving the blade around. The dragon's eyes followed it as you crept over to the egg, grabbing it slowly. It geared up and you frowned. "Crap." You muttered. Flames shot out and you blocked it with your wand, pushing back with the blade and making the dragon retreat. "DOWN." You yelled. It seemed like you were scolding the creature. It roared in protest but you didn't budge. "STAY." you said. Again the creature grumbled but you began to walk back before the dragon decided to try to attack one last time. "LOOK OUT!" Fred yelled. You turned around quick enough to put out the fireball that shot towards you. You booked it back to the tent and Charlie high-fived you. "That's my girl! Kicking ass and taking names!" James said, lifting you into a hug. You laughed and Harry smiled.

There was the sound of the tent's curtain like entrance being shoved back before a rapid pair of footsteps and a hug for you. You pulled away to see Fred. "When that stupid thing shot that last fireball at you-- I-I thought--" "I'm okay Freddie, I promise." You said. He looked in your eyes and Lily blinked. James opened his mouth but Lily pulled him back. Fred didn't move and neither did you before he leaned down and kissed your forehead, hugging you again.

He walked you back to the common room, the Gryffindors cheering as you entered. "You did it, you crazy girl!" Dean laughed. You nodded, holding up the egg. "Oh oh! Open it!" Ginny said. You sat it on the table, twisting its top and opening the egg to hear a loud deafening screech. You closed it and everyone went silent. "What the bloody hell was that!?" Ron asked. "The egg!" You gaped. "Why the hell does the egg do that!?" George asked. A valid question that no one seemed to have the answer to.

You never sat down and addressed the forehead kiss with Fred but you definitely were closer. He was busy trying to crack the egg with you. "Miss Potter!" Mcgonagall called as you were sitting in the library with Fred and the egg. You walked over to her and she seemed excited. "have you found a partner for the ball yet?" she asked. "The... What?" you asked. Mcgonagall rose a brow. "The Yule ball. All Champions must participate in the opening dance miss Potter. I thought you were aware." She said. "I just battled a dragon and now I have to dance? This really is hell." You whined. "Might I suggest the boy who was with you all week this week?" Mcgonagall said. You turned around "I don't think--" And she was gone.

You sighed and sat back down. "What's got you beat? Do you need to fight another dragon?" Fred asked. "Apparently I need a date to the Yule." You sighed. "It's not enough that I'm risking my life for the damn cup but now I have to suffer at a dance." You muttered. Fred looked over, a small blush rising to his cheeks. "I could... Be your date." he muttered. You looked over. "What was that?" You asked. "I could uhm... Be your date... If you want." He said. You nodded slowly. "Yeah.. That uhm... That would be nice." you replied, cheeks warm and slowly turning red.

You excused yourself and went to the common room. Ginny and Hermione looked over as you walked in like you had seen something indescribable. "Y/n? Are you alright?" Ginny asked. "He asked me to the ball." you muttered. "who?" Hermione asked. "Fred." You said. Both girls gaped. "HE DID WHAT!?" They asked in unison. Fred walked in and George emerged from the dorms. "You good Y/n?" George asked. "Yep. I'm uhm... I'm great actually." You said, looking over at Fred. Fred couldn't help but smile and you smiled back. "We've got to talk dresses. Now!" Hermione said. "What?" You asked, halfway listening to her. "Oh and heels!" Ginny added. "Wait what-- OW! MY ARM IS ATTACHED TO MY BODY YOU GUYS!" You whined as the girls dragged you off. "What was that about?" George asked. "I asked Y/n the ball." Fred said. George blinked. "You fucking did it!" he exclaimed, clearly excited. "Yeah. Yeah I did-- Does the air feel thin to you?" Fred asked. George snorted. "That's just your nerves Freddie. Come on, I need help with the orders." George said. Fred nodded and went upstairs into the dorms.

As the week pushed on, dance courses were now mandatory. Fred noticed your less than enthusiastic response to having to learn this type of etiquette. "Sorry!" You sighed as you yet again stepped on Fred's foot. "Y/n, I already said it's okay." He said softly. "I know I just... I feel ridiculous. At least Harry wasn't born with Dad's two left feet. I unfortunately did." you muttered. "Well on the bright side you got your mother's good eye sight." He said. "That's true. And I got my dad's sense of humor." You nodded earning a smile from Fred. "Try to relax Y/n. It's just me." Fred said. "That's what makes me kind of nervous Fred." you said in a flat tone. He chuckled and pulled you slightly closer. "Come now, I don't bite Potter." He teased. Your face was red as you danced and Fred couldn't help but smile. "I don't think we ever talked about us." He said. Oh god. "I figured we were going to ignore it..." You muttered. "Look, Fred I don't want you to feel obligated to like me. Hell, I don't want you to feel like you have to be near me if you don't want to be. I think we have a good friendship and I don't want to fuck that up." you explained. "Gotten it off your chest yet?" He asked. "Yes." you nodded. "I like you Y/n. You're smart, you're funny, you've got a good head on your shoulders, you're beautiful and your badass." He began. "But." you said, awaiting something else. "There is no but. I like you. I don't want you to push yourself to be in something you might not be ready for." He said. "... You're not worried about the age difference?" You asked. "There's a three year difference. That's not exactly your uncle and his girlfriend." Fred said. You nodded in agreement. "Tonks is pretty young. Really sweet though-- how do you know about Tonks?" you asked. "She works as an Auror for the ministry." He said. 

“Ten points to Gryffindor for the wonderful dancing of Mister Weasley and Miss Potter!” Mcgonagall announced, making you aware of the class. You swallowed hard. “Can we take a walk?” You asked Fred. He nodded, walking out with the rest of the students as they were dismissed. You ended up talking more, walking around the grounds with Fred. By the end of it Fred’s hand was intertwined with yours and he was whispering in your ear at how happy he was to be with you. 

He dropped you off at the common room, smiling like a moron as he left and you were grinning ear to ear. “What’s with you?” “Yeah, you look like Dobby when he got socks from Harry.” Hermione said making you laugh. “I’m dating Fred.” you said. Tea shot out of Ginny’s mouth, extinguishing the small flame in the fire place. “He actually-- Wow! He seemed so unsure at first I..” She said. “I don’t know, I guess he decided to commit.” You said. “Have you written to your mum about a dress yet? Or are we going to Hogsmeade for one?” Hermione asked. You grimaced. “Oh come on Y/n--” “Uhm... Excuse me.” A voice said.

You turned to see Viktor Krum. “I was wondering if I could speak with Her...Mione? Is that right?” He asked. “You said it right.” You nodded. “Sure?” Hermione said, walking away with him. “Wonder what that’s about.” Ginny said. “He’s asking her to the Yule.” You said. “What?!” Ginny asked. “He asked me if she’d be interested before the first trial.” You said. “Also, you’re going to get a date soon.” you said, sitting on the couch. “What? Who?” Ginny asked. “You’ll see.” you said with a smile. “Y/nnn!” Ginny whined. “You will see!” you laughed. 

Well within the week Ginny was asked by Neville Longbottom. She was surprised but found friendship in the guy so she said yes. Your mother also sent you a dress. A very beautiful dress that nearly made the girls pass out from excitement. Tonight was the night though, Fred constantly readjusting his tie out of nervousness. Ginny came down the stairs with Neville. “She looks amazing Fred, really.” She told him. “She always does.” Fred said. “Oh you should see Hermione, she looks so pretty.” A girl with blonde hair said. Hermione soon came down, taking Viktor’s hand with a smile. And then it was you. You walked down the steps and Fred froze. 

Your hair was pulled back, you smiling as you saw Fred. “Merlin’s beard you’re beautiful.” He gaped. “Can you do me a favor?” You asked. He nodded. “Don’t. Let. Me. Fall.” You said. He nodded and you took his hand, standing with the rest of the champions. Fred was surprised when you started speaking Russian with Viktor. He seemed amused by whatever you were discussing, laughing on occasion. 

The doors eventually opened and you walked forward, your names being announced. The opening dance commenced and you were surprised to find yourself not tripping over air as you gracefully moved. Fred was so focused on you that you found yourself getting lost in his eyes. You smiled, as did he, telling you sweet little compliments. You were smiling, looking at your friends who were also dancing with their partners. Harry smiled, watching his little sister. Did he necessarily approve? No, but at least you were happy. 

As the evening continued, you and Fred were laughing and dancing. When that tired you out you were sitting in the hall with food, talking on the stairs. “So then he proceeded to ski out the door.” You laughed. “What did your mum do!?” Fred asked. “Didn’t let him back inside till about four in the morning because dad started singing ‘I will always love you’ and our neighbors were beginning to complain.” You laughed. Fred chuckled. “This is the most fun I’ve had outside of hanging out with George.” He said. “I’m having fun too.” you said with smile. He brushed hair out of your eyes, smiling at you. “I think I... Really want to kiss you.” He muttered. “I think I really want you to kiss me.” you muttered. He pressed a kiss to your lips. 

He and you ended up parting ways around midnight, you having this smile on your face. Around three in the morning though, you were awoken by someone. “Ginny?” You asked groggily. “Charlie wants to talk to you.” Ginny yawned. You walked downstairs to see Charlie, Percy, Mcgonagall and Bill all standing there. “Y/n, good you’re here.” Percy said. “Do the boys know you’re here or is it just me and Ginny?” You asked. “They don’t know, sit please.” Percy said. “Hold it Percy. She’s never met Bill before and I’ve heard an interesting update that I must talk about.” Charlie halted. Bill extended his hand and you shook it. “I have met him before. Not like this though.” You said. “What’s this about you dating my brother?” Bill asked, a small smirk. “Oh, uhm--” “Mister Weasley I must ask that we stay. on. task.” Mcgonagall said. “Minnie you’re no fun!” Charlie whined. “There are more pressing matters at hand.” She said. “Fine.” He huffed. 

“Percy, you tell her.” Bill said. “I suspect you remember Fenrir Greyback.” He said. “The bastard that almost killed me? Yeah, I remember.” You said flatly. “We believe he’s somewhere on campus.” Charlie said. “What? Why?” You asked. “We think he’s after you. You almost led to his arrest, you testified in court, you have a lot pointing against him. From now on Bill is going to be escorting you from classes, you will not be alone.” Percy explained. “What about the competition?” You asked. “We’re surprised you even want to be in it after what we’ve explained.” Mcgonagall said. “No offense to you, truly. But I did not learn to friggin waltz for nothing. I am going to be in this until it’s done.” you said. “That puts you even more at a risk Y/n.” Percy said. “I. Don’t. Care.” you said. “Miss Potter, they present--” “If he wants me, he can work his way to me. Until then I’ll accept Bill’s help but I am not stopping my own life because someone wants to take it.” you said. 

The group all stared but nodded in agreement. “I can respect that.” Bill said. “While I disagree with your methods, we can’t refuse them. So for now we’ll support you.” Percy said. “Now can we drop the sad stuff and gossip?” Charlie asked. “I think it’s best if Miss Potter went off to bed.” Mcgonagall said. “Uggghh.” Charlie whined as you shook your head and went back to the dorms. “I’ll let you know.” Bill said to Charlie. “Godsend. You. Are. A. Godsend.” 

No one in the group knew what happened. All they knew was that Bill was suddenly there. After a few days they got used to it. Today, you had three days to figure out the purpose of the egg. It sat on the Great Hall table, all of you staring at it. “Have you solved the next trial? I can’t figure it out..” Viktor asked, his arm around Hermione. Ron seemed to grit his teeth at the sight, keeping an angry silence over him.“No. Can’t seem to figure it out, all the fucking egg does is scream. Why would it make noise if it was just...” You paused. “What?” Fred asked. “It makes noise because it has another purpose.” You said. “I need to muffle the sound!” you said, snapping your fingers in realization. “I love it when she has good ideas.” Fred chuckled, George rolling his eyes. Bill smiled as you kissed Fred, walking to the bathroom. 

“You don’t need to follow Bill.” You sighed as you walked towards the baths. “You know the rules.” He said. “My god you ministry workers love your rules don’t you.” you sighed. You walked into the baths, Bill standing outside the door. “Oh now you draw the line.” you said with an eyeroll. “I assume you’re there to take a bath.” he said. “Nope. Puzzle solving.” You said. Bill blinked. “What?” “Well come and find out dude.” you laughed. You turned on the water, taking off your shoes. “What are you--” You put the egg on the edge of the tub, walking in. “You’re getting wet!” Bill said. “No! You don’t say!” You said sarcastically before putting the egg under the water. “Y/n I don’t think--” you went under, uniform and all. “Y/n!” Bill sighed, running a hand over his face. 

It wasn’t long before you popped back up. “I’ve got it! The next trial is at the black lake!” You said. “I’m also going to need something for breathing underwater.” you added. “Y/n, have you lost your mind?” Bill asked. “Have you met my father?” you asked. Bill went silent, opening his mouth before closing it. “... Fair point.” He nodded. You went back to the dorms, changing uniforms and walking back out. “Your hair is still wet--” “Do I look like I care?” you asked. “I’m beginning to see why Fred is dating you.” Bill sighed, following you to the library. “Have you told any of your friends? About... Him?” Bill asked. “Only Fred knows. If my brother found out he’d lose his shit.” you said. You walked into the library, Viktor looking up. “and?” He asked. You sat down, whispering to him. Bill sighed, looking around at the familiar place. He recalled a time where he would come here to avoid his dragon obsessed brother. A blonde girl walked past him in the powder blue uniform. 

He blinked a few times, clearing his throat as he looked at her. “Hey, Fleur!��� you called. She turned around, Bill’s heart pounding in his chest. “Come here for a second.” you said. She walked over, you telling her. “why are you telling her?” Viktor asked. “we all deserve an equal playing ground Krum. At least this way we’re somewhat equal” you said. He sighed but nodded. “What did we lose?” Fleur asked. “That’s what I can’t figure out.” you admitted. “We’ll find out then I guess.” Krum shrugged. You looked over at Bill who looked like he was frozen. “Bill, you good?” You asked. “What? Oh I’m fine.” he coughed. You noticed his sights on Fleur and resisted a snort, shaking your head and turning back to the conversation. 

You never had a clear cut answer for what was “lost” or how to breathe underwater. Not until the say of the trial. You stood on the docks, Fred nowhere to be found. “George, where’s Fred?” you asked. “Yeah I want to meet my daughter’s boyfriend.” Lily said, making your cheeks flush. George furrowed his brow. “I thought he was with you?” He said. “No--” “Has anyone seen Hermione?” Viktor asked. You frowned, looking over at Fleur who was looking for your sister. Your heart dropped, Sirius walking over. “Found you some Gillyweed pup. You can breathe underwater-- are you alright?” Sirius asked. “I know what the trial is.” you breathed, George looking confused until he realized what you were saying. “Oh. My. God.” George gasped. “What’s going on?” James asked. 

“Champions at the ready.” Dumbledore announced. “Pup, take the Gillyweed. It’ll help you breathe underwater.” Sirius said. You nodded, downing it before standing with the contestants. “GO!” 

Your body collided with the water, gills growing on you as you swam. You swam through the lake, seeing the creatures around you with wide eyes. You had seen this before, but it was less fun when you were shoved in. That’s when you remembered. Oh shit. Mermaids. 

You swam deep into the water, cautious to avoid the wrath of the creatures before finding the students. Hermione, Fleur’s sister Gabrielle and Fred all tied. Viktor looked over, grabbing Hermione and exiting the water before you freed Fred. You looked around for Fleur but found nothing. Someone had to get Gabrielle. You swam over, a trident aimed at your throat. You used a charm to keep them back before grabbing both of them and swimming. 

Viktor came out of the water. “Oi, Rasputin.” Sirius called. “That’s not my name--” “Yeah, I don’t care, where is Y/n?” Sirius asked. “She was getting the Weasley boy last I saw.” He said. Bill frowned. “They put my brother in the water-- what the hell is this thing?” Bill asked. “Where have you been all morning?” George asked. “Talking to Minerva. Y/n was with the school as a whole so I was okay to not be with her.” Bill said. “You’ve been watching Y/n? Why?” George asked. “Uhm--” Fleur came back up empty handed and Lily looked at James. “We both know why this is taking a long time” She muttered. “She’s strong Lily, you know that.” Remus said. Fred came up, gasping for air and pulling Gabrielle up. “Where’s Y/n?” Fred asked. “She’s not down there with you?” George asked, pulling Gabrielle out and extending his hand to his brother. “I don’t--” Your head shot out of the water.

 “SWIM NOW!” you said, shoving Fred. Fred took George’s hand before he pulled him out of the water. George extended his hand to you and you reached for it before being pulled under by something. Sirius frowned. “James, you remember what’s down there.” Sirius said. Peter frowned and answered before James. “Mermaids.” he said. You shot back out, climbing out of the water yourself. “I HATE THIS BLOODY LAKE!” you said. Fred hugged you, brushing the hair out of your face. “Are you alright?” He asked. “I’m fine! I’m fine. Still hate mermaids as much as I did my first year but I’m fine” you breathed. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and Lily ran over. “Oh darling, you had me worried sick!” she breathed. “Mum I’m fine--” Sirius lifted you into a hug and you seemed to be lacking air. “Can’t. Breathe.” you gasped. “Oh shit-- sorry Pup!” He said letting go. “You saved my sister-- thank you!” Fleur said, hugging you. “There is a whole lot of hugging going around.” You chuckled, hugging Fleur back.

You all sat in the common room, James, Remus, Peter and Sirius asking a ton of questions to Fred. “so why my daughter?” “If you hurt her we will kill you.” “How well do you do in school?” “Guys would you chill out!?” You said. “We’re just curious.” James said. “Oh shut it dad, we all know you want to wring his neck.” you said with an eyeroll. Bill chuckled and you sighed. “So are you going to explain why Bill has been with us or are you keeping us in the dark along with everything else?” Harry asked. “It’s confidential.” you and Bill said in unison. “My god, I believe we have a future ministry worker on our hands.” Sirius said making James snort. You rolled your eyes. “I’m going to bed.” you said. “Get ready for next week and kick some ass!” James said. “Mister Potter, watch your mouth.” Mcgonagall said. “MINNIE!” Remus, James, Peter and Sirius all exclaimed as you left.  

As the week carried on you felt like you were being watched. More so than usual. You kept it to yourself, knowing damn well if you voiced your discomfort to Bill, he would be on high alert and NEVER leave you alone. Fred noticed your attention seemed to be elsewhere though and suspected something was wrong as you would be looking over your shoulder every few moments. You didn’t realize your suspicions were correct.

There you stood in the stadium, the maze entrance intimidating as you looked at it with wide eyes. Fred walked over. “Good luck Princess.” he said. You kissed him, him smiling. You turned back to the made with a small frown. “Nervous?” he asked. “No I just... I’ve got a bad feeling.” You said. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Fred asked. “I’ll be okay Freddie.” You said. “Alright. Kick some ass babe.” He said. You laughed and turned back to the maze. 

“On your marks!” 

You readied up. 

“Get set!” 

Your focus was on the maze and for a second you swore you saw someone walk through it. 

“GO!” 

You raced through the maze, the feeling of being watched amplifying as you moved. You swore there was someone following you. You heard a scream in the maze. “FLEUR!?” you called. Silence. Something was wrong. What it was, you didn’t know but something was wrong. “Viktor!? Can you hear me!?” You called. Silence. Shit. “Yes! I’m here!” He said. You moved around a corner. “Thank god” you breathed, “The maze moves.” he said. “What?” you asked before noticing a vine slither towards Viktor’s leg. You used a spell to block it. “We’ve got to move.” You said. “We can’t both win Y/n.” he said. “you can win, I don’t care we need to move.” you breathed. He shook his head. “I don’t need to win, you--” “We can argue when we see the cup right now we need to--” you saw a figure behind Krum and your heart dropped. 

Fenrir Greyback.

You backed up and he moved closer. “VIKTOR RUN!” you screamed. Both of you took off, running through the maze before you both accidentally separated. You saw the glint of light, running towards it before you were stopped. Fenrir had stepped in front of you, a malicious smirk falling across his face. Viktor came from the other area and froze. “Viktor run!” You said. “Stupify--” Fenrir dodged, giving you enough time to run and grab Viktor’s hand. “What do we do?” He asked. “When we reach for the cup, he will too.” You muttered. “We don’t have a choice.” He muttered. You swallowed hard and Viktor shook his head. “That cup is the only way back unless...” He turned around to see the ways closing. Viktor looked at you and then backed up. “Viktor what are you--” “Use the cup!” He said before getting grabbed by the vines. 

You swallowed hard, Fenrir lunged, tackling you and knocking over the cup. His hand raised, prepared to claw you as you yelled “ACCIO” and the cup hit your hands as his claws ripped your skin. Blood seeped through your shirt, him biting you as the location changed.  

 A bloodcurdling scream emitted from you as you hit the ground, Bill sprinting forward and knocking him back. Fred stood up, eyes wide as his girlfriend seemed to struggle for her own life. Percy emerged from a nearby tent, binding Fenrir. “You’re too late Weasley.” He spat. You coughed up blood, your parents, uncles, brother and boyfriend all running down to you. “Even if she survives she’ll be stuck with the same affliction as me.” He laughed. Remus had fear coursing through him as he looked at you and then Fenrir. “Just like her Uncle.” He added. “You Son of a--” you coughed again, head in Fred’s lap. “Stay with us princess.” Fred begged. “I-I’m sorry.” You whispered. “MEDIC!” James yelled. “I’m so sorry--” “shhh baby, you’re going to be fine” Lily hushed. “GOD DAMN IT WE NEED A MEDIC!” James yelled. Madame Pomfrey ran over with a stretcher, lifting you up. “Parents only.” She halted the group. “That’s my sister you--” “Harry, calm down we have to trust they know what they’re doing.” Sirius said. 

George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione all ran down, standing with them. “She’ll never make it.” Fenrir said as Bill carried him off. “They never do.” 

Thirteen hours. No one had heard anything for hours. Viktor sat with your friends, bringing them whatever they needed, water, food. Molly and Arthur both came in as well, praying that you would make it. Charlie sat in the hall with them outside of the medical wing, Fred pacing back and forth. “She will make it Fred.” George said. “What if she doesn’t?” Fred asked. “She will.” Remus said. “But what if she doesn’t!?” Fred asked again. “Y/n needs us. She needs you to have faith that she will make it Freddie.” Molly said. He put his face in his hands. “I can’t lose her mum-- I can’t” He whimpered. She hugged her son, the door opening. Everyone stood up.

 “She’s alright.” James said. Relief instantly washed over the group. “It’s a miracle. Honestly. She didn’t even take to lycanthropy.” Pomfrey said, walking out. Blood was on her apron, bad sign but considering the adults outside of Pomfrey said you were okay, they didn’t think much of it. “Come on in you guys.” James said. Fred was the first through the door, seeing you wincing. “Ow-- Mum bandages don’t get any tighter--” “I’m trying to make sure they won’t fall off!” She huffed. Fred came into your line of view, your face softening at the sight. Lily sighed, taking a step back to allow Fred to get to you. He kneeled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You looked at him, smiling softly. “Fred I wanted to tell you that I love you. So much. Even though it’s been a short while since we’ve started dating... I knew that when I woke up I had to tell you.” you said softly. He smiled. “I love you too Princess.” He said.

Sounds of sobbing came from your dad. “It-- IT’S JUST SO PURE LILY! I WANNA HATE HIM SO BAD!” He whined. “James calm down--” “THEY ARE JUST LIKE US!” He cried into his wife’s shoulder as she dragged him out of the room. Harry shook his head. “Harry I’m so sorry I never told you anything. I just--” “Y/n, it’s okay. I know I overreact. I get it from the moron standing in the hall.” He said. Sirius chuckled. “I’m glad that... you aren’t..” Remus halted. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He said.  “Moony... I want to say I’m so sorry for all of this. I know this had to have been hell for you to sit through.” You said. “It wasn’t easy. But it helped that you kept fighting.” He said. “And I’ve made a decision.” you said. “and what’s that pup?” Sirius asked. “I’m no longer studying dragons.” You said. “What? But you’re good at it!” Charlie whined. “Relax Charlie, I’ll still work next to you and your crazy beasts. I’m saying I’m not just specializing with dragons. I’m going to study werewolves.” You said. “WHAT!?” Everyone asked. 

“I want there to be a way for the afflicted to live an easier life. I know for a fact that I’m not the only victim, and I came out with the luckiest outcome.” you said. Remus blinked. “There’s no telling the exact numbers that came from that asshole but I want a way to help those with no choice. By studying to be a ‘beastmaster’ in school I can still pursue dragons and I can help werewolves.” you said. Sirius looked over at Remus who was both shocked and crying at your decision. “Not you too Moony.” Sirius chuckled. “She has such a good heart.” He said with a smile, wiping away the tears. “We brought you something dear. We didn’t get to give it to you at Christmas.” Molly said.

She stepped forward and handed you a small wrapped present. It was a Weasley sweater. “You’ll always have a place in our family.” She said. “Regardless of you dating Fred or not.” Arthur added.

It was a slow recovery but it ended up fine in the end as your third year came to a close. The Triwizard cup rested in a glass cabinet with quidditch trophies. Then Cornelius gave you the check for the prize money. “And we will make it out to--” “Fred or George Weasley.” You said. He looked up. “Excuse me?” Fudge asked. “Make it out to Fred or George Weasley.” you repeated. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Yep.” You nodded. After making a comment on being insane he did just as you asked.

Students wished you well over the summer all while saying goodbye to the Durmstrang and Beauxbaton students. Viktor said goodbye to Hermione, looking over at you. You walked over. “Viktor I just want to say-” “It was nothing Potter. I’m glad you’re okay.” He said. You both smiled, hugging each other goodbye. “kick some ass out there Krum.” you said. “Stay wild Rider.” He said, walking away. Fred walked over. “Think you’ll miss him?” He asked. “Yeah. But I’ve got you.” You said with a smile. He smiled and you gasped. “Wait! I need to talk to you and George!” you gasped. “Oookay?” Fred said confused before you took his hand, running off. 

You found George talking to Angelina. “George! I’ve gotta talk to you!” You said. You sat both of the boys down. “What’s this about?” George asked. You handed George the check. George said nothing, grabbing Fred’s arm as he read the check. “What?” Fred asked. “You’re actually giving us the money!?” George asked. “What!?” Fred asked, gaping at the sight. “Think of it as a business investment.” You said. “Darling this is enough to buy the business!” Fred said. “Oorrr to buy you guys a building after you graduate.” you suggested. “Or-- Oh my god you sneaky little minx!” George gaped. “We knew you wanted to give it to us we just figured maybe you’d give it to Krum or something.” Fred said. “Krum is a world renowned quidditch player. I think he he’s good on money you guys.” you laughed. 

Fred hugged you, as did George. “Y/n!” Charlie called. “Another apprenticeship?” George asked. “This time in Germany.” you said with a smile. “Have fun.” Fred said, kissing you. “I’m coming back next month on the sixth, mark your calendar.” you said with a smile. Fred nodded. “Y/n! Come on!!!” Charlie said. “Bye!” You said hugging the two boys one last time before running off with Charlie. George looked over at Fred who was watching you with a loving smile.

 “You better marry that girl one day Fred. We gotta lock her in somehow and make her a Weasley.” George laughed. “Oh trust me. One day I will.” Fred said. “God, think of all the things in the business we could buy with this.” George said. “Oh we need more Amortentia.” Fred said. “We can get the ingredients. Oh! we could sell liquid luck!” George said. “We can finally experiment with the Pigmy puffs!” George added, Fred walking with a smile. George started listing off all of the possibilities as they walked to the train station, ready to start their new futures. 

The future was so bright, and strangely, it was just beginning.

Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @mariah-can-dream

[calwrites]

The Illusion (pt 3)

Summary: How do you save the world when all you have to go on is an eye? The reader isn’t sure, but Five seems to have an idea. But helping her brother without jeopardizing her career might be harder than it seems. It doesn’t help that Diego manages to get the reader interested in a local case.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Umbrella Academy!Reader

Warnings: Umbrella Academy spoilers

Word Count: 6.5k

Unfortunately, there’s very little Criminal Minds in this chapter, but this should be the last Umbrella Academy heavy one. The BAU returns next chapter...

--------------------------

“So you’re telling me that the only thing we have to go on is an eye? We have to stop the apocalypse, and the only clue we have is an eyeball?”

“That’s what I said,” Five snapped as you tried to keep your eyes on the road. You had insisted that you drive, seeing as Five was thirteen and didn’t have a license. He was still sulking. “I have a plan, though. We’re going to go to the manufacturers of the eye and find out who the eye belongs to.”

“My first problem with that plan is that they’re going to wonder how we got the eye and will no doubt contact the police to make sure we didn’t murder anyone. My second problem is that they’re not just going to give out confidential information like that. Their clients’ information is protected. Giving us the name will potentially open them up to some big time lawsuits.”

“You’re an FBI agent. Just flash them your badge and make them give us the name. It’s not that hard.”

You sighed. “Five, I’m on thin ice with the FBI right now. They’re not exactly pleased that I lied to them about my identity.”

“Are they mad that you lied or that they didn’t catch your lie?”

Your lip quirked a bit before you forced yourself to be serious again. You were still proud that you had managed to fool the FBI for so long by yourself. “Both probably. But I have a trial next week and until then, I need to keep my head down and not piss them off anymore. Even after the trial, if they let me keep my job, I’ll be under intense scrutiny for who knows how long.”

“Is your trial before or after the world ends?”

“After,” you admitted.

“Then you can worry about your job after we save the world,” Five pointed out.

“Listen, I want to help you save the world, but I’m not going to lose my job in the process. And I’m definitely not going to risk it for an eye that might not even be useful.”

“It’s useful,” Five hissed through clenched teeth. You got the impression that he was very close to actually wanting to snap your neck.

“How do you know? What makes you think that an eye is related to the end of the world? Especially since you didn’t even see who it belongs to.”

“I just do, okay?” You waited for an explanation, but Five was too busy scowling out the window to provide one.

“What aren’t you telling me?” you prodded. Silence. “You know I could just look.”

Five sighed angrily, but something in his voice when he spoke made you realize just how serious he was. “You don’t want to see what I saw. Just believe me. Whoever has this eye is going to cause the end of the world.”

“Fine,” you accepted. “Tell me about the future, then.”

“Everything’s destroyed. What else is there to know?”

“I need to know everything I can in order to try to predict how the world is destroyed. There’s a couple possibilities, I guess. Environmental disaster. Nuclear explosion. Aliens.”

“Aliens?” Five scoffed.

You hit his arm in response. “We have super powers for some unknown reason, and you think aliens are far fetched?”

“Fine,” Five bit back. “It just looked like a wasteland. Buildings were destroyed. Some were still on fire. The ground was dust. I managed to survive by eating whatever I could find. Canned food. Cockroaches.” You made a face before you could help yourself. Thank goodness you hadn’t looked in his head to see that. “You know that myth that Twinkies have an endless shelf life? It’s total bullshit.” Five laughed mirthlessly. “We did what we had to do to survive. We adapted.”

“We?” you questioned. You were sure that Five had said all humans were dead. Five’s jaw clenched and he stared pointendly out the window, pretending he didn’t head you. You eyed your brother carefully. You wanted to believe him. Well, not really wanted since that meant believing the world was about to end, but you thought he was telling the truth. Still, being alone could really mess up your mind, especially after something as traumatic as accidentally time travelling into the future.

“You think I’m crazy,” he finally said quietly.

“I already told you that I don’t. Look, I’m driving back to the house with you. I don’t know what else could show you that I’m serious about helping you. I’m just trying to get all of the information. So, was there anyone else with you?”

“Dolores,” Five finally admitted grudgingly.

“And Dolores is?” you prompted.

“My wife.” You turned completely to stare at your brother. Your thirteen year old brother, who was actually much older than you now and was apparently married. “The road,” Five yelled, yanking the wheel to the side, so your car narrowly avoided the highway railing.

“Sorry. We’ll need to unpack that later. Preferably after we save the world. Okay, so there were cockroaches. Any other bugs or animals?”

“No.”

“You must have found some water to drink. Anything off about the water level? Did it seem really high or low?”

“No.”

“Did you see any signs of strange technology? Maybe some new weaponry? Something alien?”

“No,” Five repeated, his voice starting to sound annoyed.

“Okay,” you thought desperately for something that could give you some information. “What about the sky? Did you notice anything like strange planets or maybe something to suggest that the earth shifted?”

“I couldn’t see the sky,” Five answered softly. “There was always smoke and clouds and, I don’t know, shit in the sky. Never saw the sun. Never saw any stars or planets.”

“Well I doubt the earth was knocked out of position. If a change in position had killed all humans, you wouldn’t have survived. Unless whatever moved earth moved it back after everyone was dead.”

“Will you stop with the aliens!”

“I’m just thinking out loud,” you snapped back. “Believe it or not, I don’t have a ready made list of every possible thing that could cause the apocalypse.” You sighed, trying to calm yourself down. You were starting to get a headache, but not like a normal one. It didn’t feel like one that was brought on by dehydration or lack of sleep. It felt like the headaches you used to get when you were younger. Like your mind was about to explode out of your head. Like you just needed to engulf everything around you.

‘It’s because your mind knows that it should be monitoring everyone else’s mind.’ That’s what your father used to tell you. That your consciousness was too big for your own head, so you needed to be in everyone else’s at all times.

You shook your head, trying to clear the memories of those talks with your father. They wouldn’t do you any good now.

“Shit in the sky,” you mused. “Probably not a nuclear bomb. You don’t seem like you’ve been exposed to anything strong enough to wipe out the entire world. Worldwide volcanic winter? Maybe a super volcano erupted. By the time you showed up, the world was habitable again.”

“But how would a person in the city make a supervolcano erupt?” Five’s fingers clenched around the eye.

“I don’t know. A super volcano machine?” Five glared at you, but didn’t deign to give you a response. “Fine. Um, some sort of meteor hit earth and wiped everything out. Like the dinosaurs, but more thorough.”

“Using a meteor machine?” Five asked sarcastically.

“Maybe! Luther’s been up in space doing who knows what. There would be someone else up there who’s been prepping a meteor to hit the earth. Or someone could have some sort of super missile to shoot at a meteor as it passes. Make it explode and enough of it might hit earth to wipe out everyone. We should see if there’s supposed to be any big meteors passing earth in eight days. I’ll ask Garci-” You stopped suddenly. You couldn’t ask Garcia about this. This wasn’t a case. None of your teammates could find out about this. If the world was going to end in eight days, you weren’t going to ruin the rest of their time by telling them they have an official expiration date. “Um, we can look it up later.”

You could feel Five studying you carefully. “You really care about your work, don’t you? And your coworkers.”

“They’re like my family,” you admitted.

Five chuckled darkly. “Probably less dysfunctional than our actual family.”

“Definitely,” you agreed. You hesitated for a moment, debating asking Five the question that had been on the tip of your tongue. “So are you going to tell the rest of our siblings what’s going on?”

“I will when they’ll be useful,” Five clipped.

“I don’t think that’s very fair. They could help.”

“Whatever you say,” Five mumbled. “I’m going to get some sleep.” Before you could say anything else, Five closed his eyes. You knew from experience that Five wouldn’t respond to anything else you said, whether he was actually sleeping or just faking, so you resigned yourself to silence for the rest of the drive.

--------------------------

“I still think this is a bad idea. Let’s go back to the house and come up with a better plan.” Five continued to squeeze the fake eye in his hand as the elevator climbed up.

“Unless you think you can hack into their system and see who the eye belongs to, this is the only plan.”

You shrugged, thinking about what you already knew about this company. “I’m actually not a bad hacker. If I can use Dad’s good computer it might even be possible for me to find the name.”

“We don’t have time for ‘might.’ We have to find out whose eye this is as quickly as possible. Then we can-”

“Stop the world from ending. Yeah I get it. You can’t get mad at me when they won’t give you the name just because you ask though.”

Five turned to you with a strained smile on his face. He was probably trying to look like a normal kid, but he looked a little bit like he was about to murder you. “You forget that I’m now a child. No one’s going to question a child who’s just trying to do a good deed.”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t respond. The elevator doors opened and you followed Five out. The floor was very modern. Windows and glass walls everywhere. Five turned around slowly, taking it all in.

“Uh, can I help you?” You took the man in silently. Lab Coat. Badge. He could help if he wanted to, but you doubted he would. Styled hair. Straight tie. Pens neatly arranged in his coat pocket. He was too much of a rule follower to break protocol and give out personal information. Though the friendly inflection of his voice suggested that he would struggle with the decision internally.

“I need to know who this belongs to.” Five held up the eye.

“Where did you get that?” The man’s brows drew together in a mixture of confusion and concern.

“What do you care?” You groaned internally. For a guy who was basing his plan off of people not being able to turn down children, he was not trying very hard to act like a likable child. You could see Five tense up slightly before he forced himself to continue. “At a playground actually,” he said, not sounding at all like someone who would be at a playground. “Must have just popped out. I want to return it to its rightful owner.”

“Oh what a thoughtful young man,” the receptionist said, smiling sweetly at Five. You debated interjecting to help him, but decided instead to watch how this played out. Observe how the employees act before attempting to manipulate them.

“Yeah just look up the name for me, would ya?” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Five couldn’t be more unlikable even if he tried. Maybe so long without human contact had messed with him more than you realized.

The man started shaking his head. “Patient records are confidential. That means I can’t-”

“Yeah I know what it means,” Five interrupted.

“But I’ll tell you what I can do. I can take the eye off your hands and return it to its rightful owner. I’m sure they will be very grateful. So if I can just-” The man reached for the eye that was still clutched tightly in your brother’s hand.

“Yeah you’re not touching the eye.”

The man looked at you in disbelief. “Is this your son?”

You looked Five over. “Um yeah. That is my son. He really just wants to return the eye to the owner, and I’d really like to not have it around. If you could just give us a name or address or something. I know it’s supposed to be confidential, but-”

“But she’s a federal agent-”

“No I’m not,” you interrupted quickly. “I will, however, make a very generous donation if you could just give me the name.”

The man started shaking his head again. Five suddenly tried to lunge at him, but you managed to grab his arms before he could.

“Listen here, asshole,” Five yelled as you started to drag him towards the elevator.

“Thanks so much for your time,” you called. You didn’t release Five until the elevator doors had shut completely.

“Why didn’t you make him tell us?”

“I told you I wasn’t going to do that. You know, you’re very bad at acting like a child.”

“That’s because I haven’t been a child in years. I’m in my fifties.” Five continued to seethe beside you.

“Then don’t come up with a plan that relies on people giving you what you want because you’re a child.” Thankfully, your phone started ringing, saving you from Five’s response. You frowned at the unfamiliar number, but answered anyway, if only to delay Five’s anger. Your frown deepened as you listened to the voice coming through your speaker.

“Who was that?” Five asked. He was glaring at the eye in his hand.

“That was someone at the police station asking me to go pick up Diego. You’re on your own for now. Let me know when your next attempt is, unless it’s going to be illegal. I don’t want to bail out two brothers on the same day.” With that, the elevator doors opened and you left your brother glaring after you.

--------------------------

Thankfully, it was easier to find Diego than it was to find the owner of the eye. He was being led through the bullpen by a uniform officer.

“Excuse me, officer.” You called, hurrying over to the man. “I got a call telling me to pick up this one. If you could just uncuff him, I can sign or pay whatever and we’ll be out of your way.”

“Detective Patch asked to see him before we let him go,” the man replied. You shrugged and gestured for him to lead the way. 

“I can’t believe they made you come down here. Normally they just let me go. Rodriguez, what gives?” Rodriguez shrugged. “Oh well. At least you were still in town.”

“Only because of Five. He showed up at my office this morning and made me come back.”

Diego turned to you, a look of shock on his face. “So Five got to see Quantico before me? C’mon, Y/N! That’s so not fair.”

“Not my problem.” It was easy to determine which of the people in the bullpen was Detective Patch. You had heard Diego talk about her before. He was sitting at a desk while another detective stood next to her, saying something you couldn’t quite hear. Diego noticed your focus and seemed to realize that he should be quiet.

“-get this, 1938.” The man bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly, but Patch rolled her eyes.

“Tell them to run it again.” She handed the evidence bag back to the man, who seemed to deflate a little bit, but took it without complaint. Patch noticed Diego then. Her eyes flicked to you curiously. “We’ll pick this up later. Uncuff him.” Rodriguez uncuffed Diego, who thanked him and then took a seat like this was a normal thing for him. It probably was, you realized. She studied you carefully when you stayed standing behind Diego. “Sorry, you are?”

“Y/N.” You held out your hand, which she took after a second of hesitation. Her handshake was unsurprisingly firm, but you noted the small look of surprise when she registered your strength. “I got a call asking me to pick him up.”

“Not that I’ve ever needed a babysitter to pick me up before,” Diego said. He grabbed a paper on Patch’s desk, which she promptly snatched back. “So, did you talk to the tow truck guy?”

“Shut up and listen carefully.” To your surprise, Diego actually did. “The next time you interfere with one of my investigations, I’ll charge you with obstruction of justice. You will do jail time. Then, getting out won’t be as easy as calling your girlfriend to come pick you up.” The only way you realized you were the ‘girlfriend’ in question was because Patch glared at you. You considered correcting her, but shut your mouth.

“Girlfriend? No gross. That’s disgusting. She’s my sister. Right, Y/N?” Diego turned to look at you. “Y/N, why aren’t you saying anything.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if this was some angle you were playing. I’ve already had to pretend to be Five’s mom today, so I was just going to go with it.”

“What?” Diego and Patch asked at the same time. You waved your hand to indicate that it didn’t matter. Patch continued to study you for a second before turning to Diego.

“Look, Eudora-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“You love playing by the rules, but you live for putting the scumbags away. So, for one night, put down the badge and come out on the streets with me. Without all this bullshit.”

“You’re right. That does sound super fun. But I think you missed some things when you got yourself thrown out of the police academy, so let me explain. All this bullshit,” Patch said slowly, like she was talking to a toddler, “is what gets convictions in a court of law.” Diego leaned back and sighed, but you had to nod along with her. “What you do is fantasy. I would love to put on a mask and play superheroes and feel important, but guess what? Recess is over. It’s grownup time. You’re still trying to prove that what you did when you were kids, running around in those stupid uniform, that it wasn’t for nothing.” You couldn’t see Diego’s face, but you could see his jaw clench at her words. He turned to face you.

“Do you agree, Y/N?”

Patch scoffed slightly before looking at you. “No offense, but I don’t really care what she thinks. If she’s your sister, the one that isn’t the actress or the writer, then she’s a mask wearing vigilante too, I assume.”

You smiled tightly at her. Truth be told, her words had stung you a little bit too. Wasn’t that exactly what you had been trying to prove by joining the FBI? That everything you did as a kid, that all of that training, wasn’t for nothing. But you didn’t let that show on your face. Instead, you pulled your badge out of your pocket. “FBI agent, actually. I agree with you that all the bullshit is necessary for a conviction. Unfortunately, Diego normally has good instincts, so, if I were you, I would talk to the tow truck driver.”

“You’re a real FBI agent?” Patch asked, not bothering to hide the disbelief in her voice. You nodded. “What department?”

“Behavioral Analysis Unit,” you responded impatiently. You had a bad feeling that if you left Five alone for too long he would definitely do something illegal.

“Can I see your badge again?” You rolled your eyes, but handed it over to her. “Sorry, it’s just that your idiot brother shows up with fake badges all the time, so I have to be sure.”

“Do you want to call my supervisor? I can give you his card. His name is Aaron Hotchner,” you offered sarcastically. Patch seemed to come to her senses then and handed you back your badge. As she did, the detective she was talking to earlier walked past, catching sight of your badge.

“Woah! FBI? Maybe you can make sense of our rogue fingerprint then.”

“No don’t-” Patch started, but the man continued.

“Diego can tell you about the crime scene, but all the ballistics matched guns found at the scene, so we should assume that all the idiots shot each other, right? Simple robbery gone wrong.”

“But it’s not,” Diego interjected. Patch threw her hands up in frustration that no one seemed to be listening to her.

“Some of the guys were stabbed, though. And the prints on the knife don’t match any of the guys at the scene. They do match a print from a cold case from 1938. Weird right?”

Your brows knitted in confusion. “And the tow truck driver is a witness?”

“He left before any shots were fired. Your brother seems to think that we need to interview him, though.”

“And you don’t?” you challenged. Patch met her eyes with a small glare. She shook her head. “Any other witnesses?”

“An employee. She was in the back when it happened. Said that driver and his son were the only people in the restaurant before she went back. She heard the car drive away, then gunshots started,” Patch said, resignation clear in her voice. You were glad that she had given up the fight. This case actually piqued your interest.

“She say anything about the driver and kid?”

“Driver had an eclair, and the kid had coffee,” Patch answered.

“Where was this?” you asked, ignoring the uneasy feeling in your stomach.

“The donut shop we used to go to when we were little,” Diego said. “You remember it?” You nodded, trying not to give away how fast your mind was racing. It couldn’t be Five, you told yourself. That would be impossible. Diego slammed his hand on the desk excitedly. “You should get your team on this case, Y/N.”

“That’s not really how it works. I can’t just decide that we should work a case. We have to be invited in, then we have to decide to take it. And besides right now I shouldn’t-” you cut yourself off.

“You shouldn’t what?” Diego pushed. At your silence, realization dawned on his face. “Oh they’re pissed at you. They know that you’ve been lying to them, and they’re pissed. Well, you still have the badge, so they haven’t fired you. Are you on probation of something? Is that why you’re back here?”

“I have a trial next week,” you snapped to shut your brother up. You took a deep breath, then turned to Patch, who was watching you with a raised brow. You held out a card to her. “You might not trust Diego’s opinion, but I hope you trust mine. That’s the number for my team. I think this case isn’t as open and shut as it seems. If you’d like the help of the BAU, feel free to call.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised that both Hargreaves as rule breakers,” she said slowly, ignoring the card in your hand. Finally, she took it, then turned to Diego. “Go. Before I change my mind.”

You followed Diego out of the police station. To your surprise, he somehow managed to keep his mouth shut until you had exited the building.

“This is great!” He spun around to face you, causing you to step back a bit in surprise. “With your team on the case, you’ll be able to tell me everything happening and I can still work the case. Could you bring me on as a consultant or something?”

“Diego, stop.” The tone of your voice made your brother snap his mouth shut. “I have a trial next week. Until then, I’m on desk duty. If I go back to work, then all I’ll be doing is paperwork. And I don’t even know if my team could take a new case. They might still be working on Dad’s death.”

“Dad’s death? But there’s nothing to work on.” Some passersby eyed Diego warily as he idly spun a knife around his fingers.

“They’re supposed to rule out all possibilities before any conspiracy theories start to gain traction. The Bureau assigned them the case, so they don’t have a say.”

“And you don’t know whether they’ve finished?”

You shook your head. “If I so much as glance at a file for the case, then I’ll be gone from the Bureau.”

“If you’re in so much trouble, why are you here and not at your desk being a good little FBI agent?”

“My boss told me I could take time off before the trial. There are a lot of people curious about seeing an Umbrella Academy kid, so our floor was getting a bit crowded. And then Five showed up and asked me to come back.”

“Woah, what? Why did Five ask you to come back?” Diego stopped walking and turned to look at you seriously.

You hesitated before answering. Five had said he didn’t want to tell anyone about the apocalypse yet. Even if you didn’t agree with him, shouldn’t you respect his wishes? And even if you were going to tell someone, Diego probably wouldn’t be your first choice. There was no telling when he would do. Probably land himself in jail again.

“You can ask him about it,” you said finally. “He just wants my help getting some information.”

“Ah. Is he trying to reintegrate into society? Geez, I can’t imagine how messed up his head is. Have you profiled him yet? Or just taken a peek inside his brain?”

“No, Diego. I don’t profile family, and I don’t use my powers.”

“You did yesterday,” Diego muttered sarcastically.

“On that note, I’m going to leave you before I’m tempted to use them again. I assume you can find your car. Wherever it is.” Before Diego could respond, you were in your car and driving away. You could see Diego yelling in your rearview mirror, but you didn’t stop to hear what he said.

You tried to focus on finding Five and figuring out what your next plan for stopping the apocalypse would be, but you couldn’t keep your mind from wandering back to Patch’s case. It didn’t really make sense that all of those men would fatally shoot each other in the short amount of time between the tow truck driving away and the employee coming out from the back. 

And then there was the fingerprint. The donut shop you went to when you were children. It’s a place Five would go to get coffee. He was familiar with the area. It would be a place of comfort to him. But he couldn’t have been involved in a case from the 1930s. He had to have time travelled back to the present as soon as he figured out how to jump backwards. Still, you couldn’t get rid of the unease in the back of your mind. If your team did take the case, what would they find?

--------------------------

“Back again, ma’am?” You grimaced apologetically at the receptionist, who was eyeing you warily. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m looking for my son. He won’t let go of this whole eye thing, so I guessed he might be here.”

The receptionist nodded and gestured to one of the glass walled offices. “He and your husband are meeting with the boss in there.”

You turned, a slight grimace on your face, to see who Five had decided was your husband. Klaus. In one of your father’s suits. You were tempted to leave them and find out how they failed when they got back to the house, but instead you took a deep breath and headed towards the office. As you were reaching for the door handle, Klaus punched Five, then leaned calmly over the desk. To be fair, there were a couple times over the past 24 hours when you had wanted to punch Five. Still, you rushed into the room, ready to stop whatever your idiot brothers were doing.

“I want it. Name. Now, please,” Klaus said calmly. The man looked between him, Five, now sporting a bleeding lip, and you. You shut the door quietly.

“Klaus, what are you doing?”

“Oh, how nice of you to join us, Y/N. I’m just trying to get a name for our darling son.”

“You're crazy,” the doctor said, his voice wavering ever so slightly. He was unsure of how to proceed. Unsure of just how far Klaus would go. Knowing Klaus, the answer was a lot farther.

Klaus laughed. “Oh, you got no idea.” He looked down at the snowglobe on the desk. The doctor followed his gaze, panic written plainly on his face.

“Klaus, don’t-” you began, but before you could finish Klaus had picked up the snowglobe and smashed it on his head. To the businesses credit, they must have really good, soundproof walls. No one outside of the room seemed to have any idea what was going on inside. You threw your hands up. “I don’t know why I bother.”

“God that hurt,” Klaus groaned.

The doctor grabbed his phone and began furiously dialling. “I’m calling securi-”

Klaus grabbed the phone from his hand. “There’s been an assault. We need security now.” Ever the dramatic sibling, Klaus sounded incredibly pathetic as he whimpered over the phone. “Now here’s what’s going to happen, Grant.”

“It’s Lance.”

“In about 60 seconds, two security guards are going to burst through that door, and they’re going to wonder ‘what the hell happened’ and we’re going to tell them that you beat the shit out of us. And they’re going to believe us. Because we’re bleeding, and we have an FBI agent who will back up our story.” Klaus turned to look at you, blood dripping from his head and silver stars still stuck to his face. “Right, honey?”

“Stop telling people I’m an FBI agent.” You sighed, hating what you were about to do. “Right now I’m just a mother and a wife, who just had to watch her family be harmed by someone who’s supposed to be helping people. And all because my son wants to return an eye that he found.”

Lance looked between the three of you in horror, before getting up and going over to a filing cabinet. He riffled through it for a few seconds before pulling out a file. The brows pulled together in confusion. “Huh. That’s weird.”

“What?” Five snapped.

“The eye. It hasn’t been purchased by a client yet.” You stood over his shoulder, looking at the file. “The eye with that serial number...this can’t be right. It hasn’t even been manufactured yet. Where did you get that eye?”

Your blood ran cold as your eyes scanned the file. He was right. So your one lead wasn’t even useful. Not yet at least. Without responding to Lance, Five began walking towards the elevator, leaving you and Klaus to follow.

“I’m really sorry about all of this,” you told Lance. “It’s a long story.”

“If I ever see you three here again, I’ll have security escort you out immediately.”

“That’s fair.”

“Well, this isn’t good,” Five stated as the three of you left the building.

“Yeah but I was pretty good right? ‘What about my consent, bitch?’”

“Klaus, it doesn’t matter,” Five snapped.

Klaus spun in a circle, his arms out wide, before facing you and Five. “Why? What’s the big deal about this eye?”

“There’s someone out there who’s going to lose an eye in the next seven days. They’re going to bring about the end of life on this earth as we know it.” Without waiting for Klaus’s reply, Five began walking away. His hands were balled into fists and his shoulders were so tight that he looked like he had a hunchback.

“Right. Can I get my 20 bucks now?” Klaus spun on his heel and began following Five, who turned around furiously to face Klaus.

“The apocalypse is coming and all you can think about is getting high?” Five seethed.

“Well I’m also quite hungry. Tummy’s a-rumbling.”

“You’re useless.” Five sat heavily on the steps of the building. “You’re all useless.”

“Excuse me. I came back here because you asked me to.”

“Yeah, but you won’t do anything to actually help. You could have asked your technical analyst to hack into their records, but you didn’t. You’re all useless.”

“Well, if that’s how you feel, maybe I’ll just go back to DC. Spend my last days on with people who actually care about me.” You turned back towards your car, every intention of getting in it and leaving Five in the dust.

“You just want to get back to your new boyfriend,” he called after you, making you stop in your tracks. Spencer. You had to save the world for Spencer. Didn’t the two of you deserve a chance to be together? And didn’t the rest of your team deserve a chance to live the rest of their lives. Shouldn’t Hotch and JJ be able to watch their children grow up? You took a deep breath before turning back around to face your brothers.

“I know why you must be so uptight.” Klaus sat next to Five, throwing an arm around him. Five looked at Klaus with disgust. “You need to get laid. I mean, all those years by yourself? It’s gotta screw with your head.”

“Well...I wasn’t alone.” Klaus raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Her name was Dolores. We were together for 30 years.” You were beginning to worry that Five might have been living some sort of Castaway situation, and Dolores was actually a rock or something that Five had convinced himself was a real person. 

“Not to break up this wonderful bonding, but you guys can’t do something like that again.” You looked between your brothers as you spoke. Five rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. Or if you do, I can’t be a part of it. I can’t even know about it. If the Bureau gets wind that I’m doing something illegal, I could lose my job. Five, I’ve already told you that I’m on thin ice. I’m not going to risk it. Not even for-” Before you could finish, Five popped away. You saw him lean out the window of a taxi driving past. “-the end of the world.”

“Hey!” Klaus hopped up quickly. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, what about my money?” Five continued to wave as he drove past.

“Come on, Klaus.” You put a hand on his shoulder. “We can pick up some food on our way back to the house. I’m not buying you drugs, though.” Klaus shut his mouth quickly and began to pout. “That’s going to work. And If you don’t stop pouting, I won’t buy you any ice cream.”

--------------------------

You sat by yourself at the kitchen table, staring at the untouched dinner in front of you. Pogo and Allison were the only other people home. Last you knew, Allison was somewhere upstairs sulking. Apparently, she and Vanya had a fight earlier. Allison was so upset about it that you could feel the emotions wafting off of her as soon as you entered the house.

The texts on your phone were shining up at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer them. A couple from different members of your team telling you that they hoped you were alright since you left in a hurry that morning. But it was Spencer who had been making your phone buzz all day. He was worried, which was understandable. You had left quickly and your confession about your true feelings could be seen as alarming, especially considering what a stressful situation you had found yourself in.

You picked up your phone to respond to him when a call lit up your screen.

“Hey, Hotch. I was just about to respond to everybody. I just needed to come home. It’s been a crazy day.”

“Y/N, we’ve been called into a case that you are apparently already familiar with.”

“Hotch, I wasn’t trying to work that case. I had to pick my brother up from the police station and Detective Patch-”

“Detective Patch has already told me about all of that. What I need to know is if you really think there’s more to this case than a bunch of men shooting each other.” Even over the phone, Hotch sounded tense. You could hear rustling over the line and the faint sound of an engine. Was he on the jet?

“I do, sir.”

“Detective Patch does now too. There’s been a new development. We’re taking off in ten minutes and we’ll meet you at the police station. I need you to get down there immediately and begin setting up.”

“Wait, Hotch, I thought that I was on desk duty until my trail. I shouldn’t be anywhere near this case. And have you guys closed the case for my father’s death?” Hotch didn’t respond. You sighed when realization hit you. “Unless you think this could be related.”

“I’m afraid I can’t discuss your father’s case with you. The Board of Directors said specifically that you had to be on this case. That’s all I can say. I’ll see you at the station.”

You put your phone down slowly. Various reasons as to why the Board of Directors would want you working on the case ran through your head. Considering your impending trail, none of the reasons could be good. 

You were shaken from your thoughts by Allison and Luther entering the kitchen.

“Y/N, you have to see this,” Allison said breathlessly.

“I don’t have time.” You stood quickly, leaving your dinner uneaten as you rushed out the door. “My team has a case. I need to get to the police station. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” You heard Allison and Luther calling after you, but you ignored them. Whatever they wanted to show you couldn’t be more important than this case. You had a bad feeling that this case might determine your future at the Bureau. More specifically, whether or not you’d have a future at the Bureau.

--------------------------

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[willowbleedsonpaper]

Beside You

Theo Nott x Healer!Reader. 

W.C. : 5180

Requested by the lovely @herstory-study​:  Hi again! I have another request for Theodore Nott if possible (bc I always imagine him to be like an absolute babeeee)... anyway, I was wondering if you could do a post war one shot where Nott is just trying to overcome him being on Voldy’s side and the reader defending him against assholes who judge him and helping him move on pleaseeee

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of blood, torture and death. I think that’s it. 

The war was over, it was finally over. Years of fear and torment at the hands of Voldemort and his followers were just a bad memory you and all your friends could finally start healing from. You had been on the easy side of the war, or more like the least damaging. Staying at Hogwarts and studying under the rule of Snape and the Carrows, although traumatic was nothing compared to what Harry, Hermione and Ron had to go through, as well as his more closest friends like the entire Weasley family, Neville and Luna. They had taken upon themselves to go and find the way to defeat Voldemort and they had done it successfully, after enduring some not so enjoyable moments and the loss of many loved ones. 

You had been there when Harry revealed himself to Snape, Professor McGonagall stepping in his defense as the crowd of students from all houses cleared the way with gasps and heavy breathing, you had been there when Professor McGonagall sent the entire Slytherin house to the dungeons as the rest of the houses helped clear the younger student and prepared for battle. 

You saw students fight, using all the training provided by Hogwarts and Harry himself against Voldemort forces. You saw people cry, laugh, scream, die and run. You had seen things that were now burned into your mind, waking you up in the middle of the night with a choked scream as cold sweat rolled down your forehead. 

You didn't even want to think what Harry and his friends woke up to in the middle of the night. 

But more worrying, you didn't want to know what the Slytherins woke up to in the mornings. 

Two year had passed by since the battle of Hogwarts, you had your life more or less back to normal. Whatever normal meant this days. You were training as healer at St. Mungos, not the easiest job but it payed off for food and your apartment besides the fact that you actually enjoyed it. It was full of surprises. 

"Morning, Y/N." said one of the healers as he arrived to the desk, greeting you with a peck on the cheek as he sign in for the day. 

"Dr. Williams," you said back, pointing to one of the rooms with a file in your hand "You arrived just in time," you handed him the file with an innocent smile "Julie, eight years old. Fell of her broom and broke her right arm." 

He sighed, taking the file from you "The day we get more than broken bones I'll buy you dinner." he winked your way, turning away before you could answer. 

Your shifts usually started at noon and ended late at night. It was going to be a long day. 

And just as you thought the day stretched out like it was a boring class at Hogwarts, the day slow with only three patients, giving a lot of free time to Dr. Williams to shamelessly flirt with you. 

"I've told you before, it's Jason." he said with a smirk, leaning in the desk as the other Healers stared at you two "Dr. Williams sounds too serious." he shrugged, like his title was something he was ashamed of. 

"Well this is a serious environment Dr. Williams, you are technically my boss." you said, not looking up from the papers you had to fill before the end of the day, which was in 30 minutes. 

"Oh, c'mon Y/N!" he exclaimed, a smile always in his face as he took the quill from your hand. 

You lifted your face in annoyance, trying to reach for the quill when he lifted his hand above his head "Jason, I need that." you grumbled tiredly, opening your palm for him to return it. 

He grinned "See? Wasn't that hard to call me by my name." he placed the quill back in your hand, finally finishing the papers. 

You shook your head, gathering everything in your arms to take it back to its place. But the sound of the door bursting open caught yours and everyone's attention, a gasp leaving your lips as you saw the group of people entering the hospital. 

"We need a healer!" said the girl, two man carrying one that could barely stand. He had blood dripping from his forehead and nose, a bruise in his cheek. 

You analyzed the other two as the healers there took the man from them. Clothes blood stained, some parts ripped as if they had pulled harshly from them. They had certainly been on a fight. 

"This isn't the emergency room," muttered Jason as he neared the bed where they had laid the man. He was unconscious, but you were sure he would wake up to a lot of pain. 

"Just shut up and help him," you hissed, starting to prepare him for the healers. 

Jason stared at you in shock, taking a second to react as he draw his wand, muttering healing spells that started to make him regain some color. 

You cleaned his face, his features becoming more visible as you froze "Malfoy." you whispered, capturing Jason's attention. 

"What?" he growled, moving your hand that was brushing his dirty hair out of his face, leaving his pale face out in the open. "Bloody hell, a fucking Slytherin.“

You glared at him, fire burning inside of you as you pushed him with all your force "Get away from him." you growled, drawing your own wand as everyone stared at you, only one of the trained healers kept on working beside you. 

"What the hell, Y/N?!" shouted Jason, slamming the door to the room they had moved him close "You are not a trained healer, I am."

You made as kind with your throat, swallowing all the words you wanted to scream "At least I'll try, you're going to let him die because of his Hogwarts house." you muttered bitterly. 

You heard him grunt, pacing in the room as the door opened. Your actual boss, Healer Whitethorn examined the room with a glare "Williams, out." she ordered, a smile on your face before she set her eyes on you "You too, Y/L/N." she said, stepping in with wand in her hand. 

"But…" 

"Out!" you flinched at her loud voice, her eyes meeting yours "You are on Williams team, he's out and so are you. Check on the other that came with him." 

You huffed, reluctantly going outside as you threw away your lab coat on the chair. Your other coworker ran at your side, giving to a reassuring look before she settled on the three defeated persons at the waiting room. 

"I'll take two of them," she murmured in your ear "Take the bleeding one, I'll take the girl and Mr, Bruises over there." 

She didn't wait for your answer, calling to girl for inspection as you stared back at the bleeding one, according to her. 

"Come with me." you said standing in front of him, his head low and only lifting slightly to look at you when he noticed your there. 

"I'm fine," he mumbled, shaking his head at you. 

"Sir, you are dragging your words and your head is bleeding," you told him matter of factly "I can't let you go if you don't let me at least clean the wound." 

The man at his side nudged him, giving him a small smile "Go on mate, you took one blow for Draco, I just held Pansy back. We need you alive to go find them later."

He looked at him incredulous, his mouth slightly open with a thousand words he wanted to say at the tip of his tongue but decided against it. He sighed, slowly standing up when he stumbled slightly, eyes wide as he tried to focus on something, anything. The only thing he could found was you, both hands gripping tightly at his forearms making him regain his balance. 

"Thanks." he breathed out, returning the safe grip on your arms.

You nodded reassuringly, taking slow steps backwards and into one of the examination rooms. He made it with little problems, slumping on the bed. 

"Do you know your name?" you asked, putting on a new pair of gloves. 

"Theodore, uh- Theo. " he said lowly, not meeting your eyes. 

You hummed, starting your work on the gash in his head. "Last name?" you asked, ignoring the hissing sounds the alcohol pulled from him. He had his eyes closed, and you pulled a chair for you as you stared at him. "Theo?" you called again, fearing he wasn't listening to you. 

You breathed out in relief when one of his eyes popped open, looking at you before he sighed in defeat "Nott." he said, watching you carefully for any reaction. 

He hadn't seen when you pulled a file, writing down his answers "Theodore Nott," you repeated as you wrote it down "Head injury, possible concussion." you said out loud, closing it and looking back at him, clearly he wasn’t eager to answer the questions.

"You're going to have to stay the night just to be sure that the head injury is nothing more than that." you told him, handing him the a bag for his clothes and the hospital gown, closing the curtain so he could change.

Theo reluctantly changed, doing quick work in his clothes to not keep you and his friends waiting. Luckily for him you looked nice, kind. You hadn’t reacted to his name and your attitude towards him was completely professional, not a single hint of judgement in your eyes .

“Mr. Nott?” he heard you call, the door of the room opening with your voice following “Do you need help?”

He breathed out, opening the curtain with his bag tucked under his arm “Ready.” he said lowly. 

You took the bag from him, taking his arm again “Can you walk?” you asked him, standing in front of him he gave you a soft nod and you began walking slowly. The silence was peaceful, but you has thing to tell him, breaking the much needed peace. 

“Technically I should place you in this floor,” you told him lowly, avoiding the looks of any Healer you passed, keeping your chin up and up front “But since your friend is more injured and you are staying the night, the fourth floor is going to be where you stay. I've informed your friends you are staying the night and they said they will be here in the morning.” 

He gave you a questioning look, clearly they were close to each other to be involved in fights together. Or maybe fate wasn't that fair to them but from their interactions you saw before they seemed friends. You could only assume. 

"I sent them home," you explained "They might not be that injured but they will need the rest." 

He looked down at you, the height difference more notorious now that he stood next to you. He gave you a small smile, not one that you saw, your eyes staying in your path at all times.

“Here,” you whispered for him to turn, the room poorly lighted until you could get your wand out, a flick of your hand and the place was properly lighted. “Malfoy would be across the hall. As soon as he wakes up, you and your friends can go see him.” you informed him, helping him get under the covers.

You made sure he ha anything he might need, a glass of water and another blanket close by so he wouldn’t have to move. “Is there anything else you might need, Mr. Nott?” you asked him from the door.

He looked at you, his eyebrows knitted in his forehead “Theo,” he said “Call me Theo, Mr. Nott was my father.” he told you, a nod from you as you neared his bed again.

“Forgot to introduce myself,” you laughed nervously “Y/N Y/L/N, I’ll be taking care of you while you’re here.” you said, getting a positive response from him. 

You made your way out of the room without another word closing the door softly behind you, the last thing you saw being him letting his head fall softly in the pillow, almost in defeat.

“What the hell was that?!” 

You snapped out of your head, tuning in your place as you saw Jason practically run towards you with a glare that you mirrored, turning in your heel and away from him. But he was taller and faster, catching up with you fast as he grabbed your arm forcing you to face him “Answer me, Y/N.” he growled, his face inches from yours.

“Like you don’t know,” you spat, your eyes roaming angrily all over his face “We all know you’re the proudest Gryffindor here, you take the rivalry with Slytherin to a whole new level.” you took his hand with all the force you had, pulling it away from your arm. 

He stared at you, saying nothing and you laughed bitterly “What is it, Jason?” you said with a sardonic smile, saying his name with all the anger you had “You think I haven’t noticed how you change cases with Adams so you don’t have to treat Slytherins? I literally work for you and notice all, listen to everything that comes out of your mouth.”

“You better stop now.” he warned, his eyes hardening. 

“Or what?” you dared, taking a threatening step towards him “You’re going to tell Whitethorn? Let’s go now, maybe you can tell her too why Marie, a Slytherin, hasn’t worked with you and only with Adams.” 

He stared at you, his jaw clenched as he physically fought the shaking anger you produced on him. “Fucking hell.” he muttered, slamming his hand on the wall beside your head before he walked away, your lips letting out a shaky breath once he turned on the corner. 

You stayed there, back against the wall as you slide down to the floor with your eyes closed, trying hard to even your breathing but failing. 

“Y/N?” you heard Marie, her light steps sounding closer untils she was next to you “You okay? What happened?” she asked, taking your hands from your face and pulling you to your feet.

You shook your head, keeping it low as you cleaned the single tear that fell from your eyes “Williams is an asshole, that’s what happened.” you said, your voice cracking a little when you said his name.

She gave you a sad smile, knowing exactly what you meant “It’s late, do you wanna stay with me tonight?” she asked. 

It wasn’t unusual for you to stay at each others places, your shifts were practically the same and you lived relatively close. But then your eye catched on Healer Adams getting Draco Malfoy to his room, you thought that maybe staying back with your own patient wasn’t a bad idea.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna stay here for the night,” you told her, pointing to the door behind you.

“You sure?” she asked you with the raise of her eyebrow “I got your favorite waiting for you.” she sang, but you only shook your head and she nodded with a knowing look “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.” she said giving you a quick hug before walking to the stairs and disappearing from your eyes.

You took a moment before walking back to Theo’s room, making sure you weren’t too loud. What you weren't’ expecting was for him to be awake, lazily staring at you as you walked inside. 

“Mr. uh- no, Theo.” you said finally, memories of Hogwarts when you had the answer at the tip of your tongue but your brain was going faster than your mouth could and you ended up blurting everything but the right answer came back to you. 

“Did I wake you?” you asked with a tight smile.

He shook his head, pointing at the sofa at the corner of the room “Please, sit.” he said, waiting for you to do so “There was a loud noise and I rarely can sleep this early.” he said.

You looked in confusion at the clock on the wall, returning your gaze at him “It’s one in the morning.” you told him.

He smiled softly, lowering his head again “Still, I can’t sleep.” he whispered, breathing deeply “I would much rather your company, if you don’t mind.”

You smiled more relaxed, making yourself more comfortable "Your on luck, I have to take care of you for the night." 

"The entire night?" he asked with a gasp, his eyes curiously roaming all over you. 

Of course, you had your head elsewhere, his file in your lap. "I'm a healer in training," you said softly looking back at him "We get to the the work no one wants to." 

 "I'm glad is you." he mumbled, catching your attention with immediately "That other man didn't seemed… Nice." he finished, a little doubtful if he did right in telling that to his coworker, but the knowing nod you have him put him at ease. 

You pointed at the wall "The loud noise was him." you said, voice shaky "He is a great healer, probably the best we've got," you paused, looking down at your hands as you bit your lip in thought "He cares very deeply for what happened at the war."

You saw his body stiffened, his arms coming at his sides as he subtly moved to the far side from you. You pursed your lips "I don't, really. I'm sure everyone played their part." you added more cheerfully "Now I need to film your file, do you mind if ask you some questions?" 

"Okay," he said. 

You nodded getting the paper and quill "Great, I have your name and why were you admitted." you said, tapping on the page before you lifted your face "Age?" 

"Twenty," he answered. 

You smiled writing it down "We're the same age. I don't remember you from Hogwarts."

"I-I wasn't that sociable. I mainly stuck to my house mates." he told you. 

"Slytherin?" you asked, watching his eyes widen "Not everyone was friends with Draco Malfoy." you added, and he nodded. 

"Yeah, Slytherin." he said bitterly. 

The night was spent with you two chatting about your lives and the your time at Hogwarts. He talk about his favorite subjects, he's hobbies and friends, how he wanted to travel and get to know  the world and maybe even move. He wanted a fresh start away from the war and what used to be his family. He wanted to go to a place where no one knew who Theodore Nott was. 

You told him about how simple your life was, consisting of basic needs and your training as a healer. Free time was a forgotten concept for you, the few friends you used to have now married or being successful, your only friend being Marie. 

You actually had made a day that night. 

When the sun rose on the sky, it didn't long for the visitors to start arriving. Theo was discharged an o my changed rooms when Blaise and Pansy got there, going to see the Slytherin prince himself. 

A few hours were spent with casual iochat and worried remarks when Healer Adam's told them they had to leave him to rest. Promises were made to return later that day or the next, and you watched from the desk of the fourth floor as they left, a sinking feeling in your heart as they descended the stairs. 

Only they didn't. 

"Y/N? “ your heard someone call softly, the voice that still was recorded on your mind from the previous night  filling the air once more. 

"Yeah?" you smiled, looking up from your food. 

He looked nervous, the tiny smile appearing in his face "I was wondering if I could stop by someday? Maybe go out?" he asked, scratching the back of his head with a nervous yet charming smile. 

You chuckled, covering the blush in your cheeks as you nodded "I would love that." 

*******************************

Accepting that date was the beginning of the best years of your life. 

You went on that one date and connected instantly, even more than the few hours you talked at St. Mungos. One coffee date turned into dinner and surprise visits when you were working, soft smiles and holding hands while you walked turned into passionate kisses and falling asleep in each other's arms. Talking about your days turned into deep conversations about life and your future. Understatement turned into love. 

Three years has gone by since that first date and you knew you never wanted to leave Theo's side. You knew who he was and were proud of him, even in the days that he wasn't. 

"Theo?" you said loudly, his big mansion requiring the elevated voice for him to hear you from the entrance "I'm home, dear." you said again, paying more attention to the sounds in the house. Or more like the lack of them. 

Your footsteps echoed the halls as the only sign of someone being there. You walked to the study where he usually was, empty with no book open or parchment over the desk. The kitchen was your second guess, his only house elf there welcoming you but saying nothing of the whereabouts of your boyfriend. You started to feel fidgety as you made your way to the stairs to go to his room when your eye caught the fire burning in the living room, the back of his head popping over the single couch there, the place he hated the most in the house. 

"Theo?" you called again, walking slowly behind him. The glass in his hand making little flickers shine on the walls with the light of the fire.

He didn't answer you, barely gave you a side glance to acknowledge your presence before he took a slow sip of his glass. 

You took a shaky breath, going to sit on the floor in front of him. You rested your arms in his lap, looking for his eyes with a small smile "What is it?" you asked him and he shook his head "Is something, you're in the living room. You hate it in here." you said softly. 

He couldn't help but look at you, your voice sounding what he imagined an angel's voice was like. He wanted to smile, to reach his hand to your cheek and tell you he loved you. But the voice in his head was right, he wasn't worthy of it. Of you. 

"It's nothing," he murmured, voice hoarse as he spoke "Just a bad day." 

You nodded, taking his free hand in yours and intertwining your fingers with his "You want to tell me about it?" you asked. 

He rose his eyebrows, talking about what was going on inside his head something still so foreign to him. He didn't want to burden you with his problems, even if you knew, knowing and actively being part of them was different. He had noticed how you have him his space, never forcing him to talk and instead taking his mind away from what was bothering him. 

"I can tell you about my day," you offered when he stayed quiet, his eyes softening at your bright smile "You don't have to say anything, just listen." you said, crawling a little closer to him. 

You looked like a little child, moving your arms and making voices and faces as you narrated your day at work. It wasn't even that amazing as you made it sound, but he still found it amusing how you made a harmless spell backfiring on someone sound like one of the trial Hercules went through. 

You saw him smiling down at you, but never point it out and instead carrying on with the story until the end. 

"That's amazing, love." he said, leaning to kiss your forehead softly, lingering there for a little more than usual. 

You stated sadly at him, looking over his fallen features. It hurt you to watch him so defeated, to not be able to do anything for him. You wanted nothing more than to be able to take his pain away for at least a moment, to make him see what you saw. Not a bad man but a changed one. 

"You know I love you, right?" you told him, caressing his cheek with your thumb. His eyes snapped at you both in shock and fear, but he nodded nonetheless and you smiled "And that there is no one I would rather have by my side?" 

He took your hand, stopping your movement in his face "I'm bad Y/N," he said coldly "The things I did, what I became…" 

"You did because you had no other choice." you said strongly, taking a kneeling position as you held his face in your hands "You did it to survive and you did."

"It was awful." he whispered, the images flashing in his head. The students and people that opposed to Voldemort, their bodies laying on the floor of the very same house he lived in, some still whimpering silently as they stated at the lifeless ones next to them. All the cries of pain and screaming begs for him to stop, the fearful eyes staring at his wand as he muttered the words. Those three words that should have him locked away in Azkaban to never see the light of day again, to never see his friend again, so he could have never met you. 

He didn't deserve the happiness you have him when he had cause so much pain, so much suffering, so much death. 

"I don't deserve this." he said, pushing your hands away from him as he stood. 

"Theo," you whispered going after him and taking his arm in your hand "You do deserve it." 

He looked back at you, eyes tormented as he tilted his head "You're just saying it because you love me, and that is exactly my point." he said loudly "Why do you love me? You know what I've done, what has happened in this house." 

You bit the inside of your cheek to not yell, trying to keep clam for the both of you "I love you because you make me happy," you started to say calmly "Because you love me too and care for me as much as I care for you. Because even if you've done things you regret you aren't those things. You have been there for me in my lowest days and you never loved me less for that so I'll be damned if I let you feel like you don't deserve my love or the love of your friends." you ended up yelling, your chest moving fast with your breathing before it  was crushed. 

Theo had launched himself to your arms, silently weeping in your neck as you reacted with the same emotion, wrapping your arms around his chest. He lifted you slightly from the ground but you couldn't care less, he could damped your shirt with his tears and you wouldn't even blink an eye. 

You brought one hand to the back of his head, slowly running your fingers through his hair. "You're a wonderful person, Theodore Nott. And I will make sure you now that every single day." you whispered in his ear, his embrace tightening. 

You pulled from him after a moment, looking lovingly into his eyes, pointing to the glass he had abandoned over the table " Finish that up, darling." you told him. 

He frowned but didn't fight you, downing the glass in one go "Why, where are we going?" he asked following you to the entrance as you grabbed your coat, handing him his. 

"Comfort food." you said with a smile, opening your hand for him to take an apparating in Diagon Alley. 

He had always compared you to a child, a very clever child in the body of a beautiful woman, he said. And you could see why, not fifteen minutes had passed and you were already holding two coffees and a lot of his favorite pastries. 

You sat down on a bench, eating away without a care in the world as the people walked by. 

"You are good with comfort food.' he said to you, a tiny smile playing in his lips. 

"Only the best for you, my love." you told him stretching your neck as much as you could to kiss him. In the end he ended up leaning down and you smiled in the kiss. 

Of course, the world hated you. The characteristic clear of a throat you had come to hate and despise making you pull with a glare. 

"Y/N, is good to see you here."

"It's healer Y/L/N to you, Williams," you said, glancing at Theo when his eyes followed him. 

"I see your still with the Slytherin coward." he said smugly, a grin as he eyes Theo "Did you enjoyed running from the battle, you snake? "

“I don't know Jason, did you enjoy hiding in the Great Hall while everybody fought?" he answered, not even looking amused his face looked void of any emotion a she stood up, standing face to face."You see, I was at the battle and I saw you. Never thought it was worth mentioning but you seem very eager to talk about it now." he told him. 

Jason clenched his jaw, turning to you "You can do better than this." he grunted, with his hand pointing at Theo. 

"Not possible," you said, staring straight into his eyes "Now get out of our sight before I hex you permanently to the fourth floor." you hissed, stepping between him and Theo. 

He had turned furiously, storming away before you call "And Jason? Don't you ever dare say anything to him again. He might be a Slytherin but I am a pissed Y/H/H." 

You left the threat hanging in the air, watching him go as you turned back to Theo. Your face changed so fast he didn't know if it had been real, your shaking face replaced by a sweet smile as you sat back down, handing him his cup of coffee. 

"Theo, you can sit now." you told him, his eyes shining as he did. It took you a moment to realize he was staring at you, a chuckle leaving your mouth as you playfully slapped his arm "Stop looking at me like that." 

But he did even listen to you, taking your hand as you looked at him in surprise "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me." he told you, bringing your hand to his lips. 

You smiled shyly, blushing slightly that it could be mistaken by the cold air in your face "I love you, Y/N." he said, bringing you to his arms. 

"I love you too." you whispered, nuzzling your head in his shoulder as he held you close to him, and you decided then and there,

You never wanted to leave his arms. 

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[ceoofuwu]

𝐈𝐂𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ;; 𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 𝟏.𝟒𝐤

𝐀/𝐍: So, FINALLY I finished this piece and I’m so happy bc it took nearly a month AHAHAHAA (I know I’m terrible) AnYwAy, I think Dabi is “sweet but a psycho”? (yeah sweet inside VERY DEEP DOWN) and... inspired by this... here you go, everyone! <333 Lots of love, stay safe, positive and hydrated!!!

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: As long as you had discovered that place, everything was great. But, at the end of the day, you weren’t the only one to have made that discovery....

𝐓.𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: hurt/comfort

Tranquility.

Gentle breezes swirling around, fiddling with light hair, caressing an innocent face. Soft moonlight showering the concealed glade, eventually lighting up the night sky.

Serenity.

A reflection of the star-kissed canvas above depicted on the frozen surface before you. The sight seemed to have been plucked out of a fairy tale. Until that moment, not even the thought of a frozen lake serving as a prism to the infinitude of the stars had crossed your naïve mind.

This small fragment of Heaven had been a recent discovery of yours. In need of a break, a relief from all the duties chasing after you in the League, a walk was the least you could ask.

Yet, who could have possibly foreseen the blessing you’d come across?

Wandering around there, watching miracles unfolding before your eyes…. That was by far the most tranquilizing activity you had engaged yourself in.

Complete and utter silence, the moon shining upon this otherworldly scenery in its full glory and merely the humble sounds of nature dolling this fantasy up. The most mesmerizing trait though, was the lake made of ice, which looked exactly like a crystal mirror projecting the star-blown sky. Its glossy transparency was little by little dazing you into attempting to walk on it.    

Well, not that you could blame yourself. You’d always hear people commenting on how amazing the experience was. Besides, you couldn’t help but imagine how mind-blowing it would be to see the stars, those unreachable sparkles of light, under your feet.

Curiosity urged you to take a step farther and bring your delicate body in the edge of the lake.

Would it be slippery? Icy? Smooth maybe?

You wouldn’t know unless you tried.

You outstretched your leg quite hesitantly, with a surge of doubt washing over you, what with this whole novel array of emotions. Your heart had begun to pound insanely fast inside your chest as you were overwhelmed with excitement and impatience but, just as the tip of your shoe brushed the surface…

«You must be one hell of an idiot to throw yourself in a frozen lake without knowing the odds of falling in» a familiar voice spoke behind you, as you felt a strong grip on your arm.

Come to think of it, you never considered the possibility of the ice being too thin to hold you, but…

«Dabi?!» you exclaimed as you turned around and saw your “savior”.

The raven-head immediately let go of you.

«Dude, what the hell are you doing here?! How did you even find this place?!» you asked frantically, shifting your body so that you could face him.

Dabi was looking down at his feet, hands on his pockets, minding his own business as usual and, of course, being unreadable. That lousy attitude of his was getting on your nerves from time to time but, he hadn’t done anything to intrude your privacy during the time of your comradeship. However, his way of acting in certain situations seemed really annoying to you.

His turquoise gaze flicked as it met with yours slowly.

«You don’t own the place, as far as I’m concerned».

Cocky bastard.

He had a point though. It was simply a glade, hidden in the density of the city’s forest. It belonged to no one, which simultaneously meant that everyone could have access to it.

You rolled your eyes, feeling quite irritated by the fact that he was right. It’s not like you had some sort of problem with him, it’s just that you didn’t like it when others proved you wrong.

«I don’t alright but… how did you end up here?» you asked, fiddling with your fingers nervously, genuinely feeling curious.

«Well… I was just… walking the other day and then I found this place… which ended up being to my liking…» he said, his gaze moving around the place and never focalizing somewhere specifically.

You nodded in agreement, «That lake is so… magic—«

«I hate that lake».

You averted your goggled-up eyes to meet your companion. He was standing upright; head tilted upwards, black hair and coat getting carried away by the soft currents of wind, bright cerulean eyes, suddenly narrowing to a dark, nostalgic glare.

You could confidently say that you were witnessing one of the most terrifyingly beautiful sights in your life; the horrific murderer of a man bowing to the one and only indomitable conqueror: the past.

You felt tiny beads of sweat coursing down your forehead in nervousness, searching frantically for something to grasp onto, as the urge to run away took your being over. Dabi was a horribly dreadful man; what made him like this though, weren’t his capabilities as a serial killer but the fact that, you knew so little about him. The unknown is and will always be by far the most frightening thing.

«I don’t like the ice…» he spoke menacingly low, his obscure look still transfixed to the void. You chose not to reply and await his word instead, feeling too self-cautious to find the courage to talk.

«It reminds me of… back then…» he murmured as a twisted smile bent his lips slightly. His stance didn’t alter one bit, standing haughtily against the wind with the soft moonlight steeping his form delicately.

Back then?

«Does anyone know about… back then?» the words slipped out of your lips involuntarily, making you cover your mouth with your hands in embarrassment.

The twisted smile stretched exceedingly, eventually managing to distort his facial features into a sick, maniacal expression. A psychotic laugh followed shortly, echoing in the nightly horizon, bringing out the derangement hidden within his broken soul.

«Back then… is Hell» he retorted coldly, no emotion but aversion, lacing his hoarse voice.

Just how traumatized are you, Dabi?

Silence. Long, comfortable silence. You took your sweet time to process your comrade’s pained words, seeking some way to comfort him. Could you though? Years of trauma was weighing down on your shoulders. You had no idea what he had been through, you didn’t even know his real name, for God’s sake! How could you help someone without knowing even the most basic things about them?

But I need to help…

Taking one swift, curt breath, you plucked up the courage to speak up, «Was it… that bad?» you asked with a cautiously low voice, not entirely sure what to expect as an answer.

Dabi’s slim body shifted immediately, his sadistic grin once again deforming his features, to something truly repulsive and… horrific.

«Bad you say?» he laughed ironically, «Do you even have the slightest idea how it feels to wake up every day and genuinely believe you’re a piece of trash, an unworthy dross?» he raised the tone of his voice taking a step closer to you, «Or to wonder if you actually should have been born?» another step, «Have you ever been rejected by your own family?» another, more infuriated step, «Have you questioned your existence?» he stopped in front of you, looking down on you, his judgmental finger pointing to you, «HAVE YOU—«

Without allowing him to finish another self-distractive sentence, you dived in instinctively, your arms wrapped around his built torso, and before realizing it, you were embracing Dabi in your miserable attempt to comfort him.

«No, I haven’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t share your thoughts and pain with anyone, Dabi» you inhaled some of his scent, «…the more you bottle up your emotions and shut them in, the more drained you’ll feel…» you expected his arms to wrap around you too, yet, it never happened.

«How do you know?»

A hefty sigh of relief jumped out of your lips, «It happens even at the simplest of situations… sometimes when I feel down and don’t let it out somehow, I feel like I constantly have something weighing down on me… something that’s holding me down…» you explained, slowly letting go of him.

When you looked up and saw his clouded eyes, you noticed something converted in them. As if all this psychopathic tension had been replaced by something more… gentle… mundane… and the light smile that grazed his lips accounted for that.

«If you ever want to talk to someone… I’ll be here…» you informed him and carefully strayed, far from that place, leaving Dabi all alone, while he stared at that frozen lake, which brought back so many grievous, icy cold memories…

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a heart, comment, reblog! 💕

[naivesilver]

top six pinocchio adaptations? idek if there are 6 🤷‍♂️

Hollie, my buddy, my pal, my dearest, not only there are like twice that number that I personally watched/read/experienced, but there are many more that I still have to get to. So have no fear, I have plenty of material to draw from

Also thank you 💓💓💓 I know at this point I’ve flooded everyone’s dash with this kinda stuff but I so love talking about it and y’all keep saying I shouldn’t stop so here I am

Ask me my top 6 anything

So the thing is, I’ve already listed my top 5 adaptations here, but as it goes I have multiple different rankings when it comes to Pinocchio stuff, so there is no shortage of lists I could make. I could rank going by the amount of screentime the thrice-damned Cricket gets, or how much the Fairy irks me, but since this is a lovely day and I have no wish to ruin it by talking about characters I would personally take on in a fistfight, I will instead use another discriminator.

That is, the Lampwick factor.

Lampwick gets an astonishing amount of hate considering he is a) a child b) Pinocchio without the plot armor c) someone the story’s system failed, along all those other boys, but I love him dearly and I will defend him sword in hand. Some adaptations forgo him entirely (looking at you, German-Japanese cartoon who would have been perfect otherwise) but most of those who leave him in make him memorable, for good and for bad.

So, without further ado:

(Actual list under the cut because I got carried away with number 4 and it got LONG)

1) Luigi Comencini’s Le avventure di Pinocchio (1972)

This miniseries’ Lampwick is just *chef’s kiss *. Not only does he get the funkiest introductory scene, laying under THEE boat (a trendsetter, that boy), but the way he behaves is consistently amazing and depicts the friendship between him and Pinocchio aside from the more famous Land of Toys (?) escapade. Also, SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK STORY, but cutting off his death scene, leaving his fate ambiguous and having Pinocchio snap at his father for suggesting Lampwick might have gotten “what he deserved” was a balm for my heart. Plus, he got a sweet sweet character theme that also served as title track for the miniseries.

(Fun fact, I found out while looking up the theme that his actor and Pinocchio’s starred as brothers in another movie shortly after, which is a nice little piece of trivia to know :D )

2) Matteo Garrone’s Pinocchio (2020)

YOUR HONOR, HE’S BABY! I want to protect him at all costs. The actor plays the part of Pinocchio’s shenanigan partner perfectly, and this movie takes a more realistic approach when it comes to depicting life in a poor maritime town in XIX century Italy, instead of showing Lampwick as someone who rebels against nothing. They cut out the final part of his story here as well, of which I could never be more grateful, for all that I’m a Pinocchio purist in most other cases. If you ask for my opinion, he deserves to be alive and happy somewhere else, and that’s that on that :)))))

3) Pinocchio miniseries (2009)

When I tell you that 11yo me was infatuated with him...Learning that Thomas Brodie-Sangster was already 18 when this aired was one of the biggest shocks of my life. He looked 15 at best, and only in the right light.

Still, what a good Lampwick. He’s snarky, he’s a bad influence, but he's a good friend, too, so it’s a win-win situation, isn’t it? He may be a bastard, but at least he will try to fix your sorrows in the most bothersome ways possible - remember kids, running off to a magical land is not a good way to cope with grief, but if you do it, at least stick to someone older than you who will do his best to keep you alive and distracted.

(Come to think of it, I’m still not convinced that Robbie Kay wasn’t influenced by this when he went on to portray Peter Pan.)

4) Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio (2002)

LISTEN. Listen. This movie is a problem. I can’t speak of this movie without having to wrack my mind to find the right words. Benigni single-handedly ruined my chance at credibility by making this both the weirdest AND closest-to-text adaptation currently in existence.

(Aside from a sequence of excessive Cricket presence towards the end, but I digress.)

So, Benigni made a peculiar choice when filming this movie; that is, he had all the child characters be played by adults while retaining somewhat childish behaviors. Now, if it was merely a humorous parody I’d be less concerned, but if it was that easy to reduce it to such a stereotype, I wouldn’t have watched it in the first place, because there are too many Pinocchio parodies in the world and I despise most of them.

No, once you gather enough suspension of disbelief to see through the comedy factor of this movie, you soon have to realize that it’s, in fact, very well made. So you have to come to terms with the reality that this perfectly in-character Pinocchio with a Tuscanian accent who lifts paragraphs straight from the book was played by a 50yo man, and that the Fairy was played by his wife. There are things I don’t want to deal with when I’m watching a Pinocchio adaptation and Benigni’s supposed mommy issues is definitely one of them.

“So what does Lampwick have to do with any of this?”, you may ask. Well, my friend, Lampwick is by far the oddest casting choice in this case.

Picture this: you’re watching this movie where there are no kids, only adults playing kids. It’s weird, but it’s kinda funny, because the way they’re dressed and the way they act makes it clear that you’re supposed to laugh at them. Then a new character, well-known jackass Lampwick, is herded in, and you expect another 40something comedian to pair well with Benigni.

Instead, what you see is Kim Rossi Stuart.

Kim Rossi Stuart was a heartthrob of late 90/early 2000s Italy. He’s still quite good-looking - in fact, he might have even gotten better with age and with a beard, but that’s my personal taste chiming in - but back then he was at the height of his career. He was in Fantaghirò, for God’s sake. And here he comes sauntering by, as though it was nothing at all, eating lollipops and playing at darts with a floreal-pattern-clad Roberto Benigni.

It drives me nuts. I’ve honestly never been more appalled by an actor choice in my life. But that’s precisely the reason why it ranks so high - I’ll be 80 and grey and STILL I’ll be wondering what the fuck Benigni was thinking when he picked him. It leaves a mark, that kind of thing.

5) Enzo D’Alò’s Pinocchio (2012)

(By this point you should have realized the reason I put director names and dates in is because they all have the same fucking title. Also, enjoy this unflattering screenshot I had to make myself)

This movie is sweet. Not memorable, but sweet. It’s more whimsical and cartoonish than most, and the target age group is clearly younger than the one for say, Garrone’s movie, but Lucio Dalla wrote great songs for it so I appreciate it.

I’m more of the school of thought of  “Lampwick as a kid Pinocchio’s age” than “Lampwick as an older mentor of sorts”, and this Lampwick was voiced by Paolo Ruffini, who has the right accent but which I find annoying, but still, I like him. I love older brother figures, and Lampwick in this movie takes the time to comfort a sad kid he doesn’t know and humor him all throughout their journey. They’re good together, and that’s enough for me. #justicefor2012lampwick

6) Disney’s Pinocchio (1940)

Cue great stupor from everyone involved. Yes, I hate this movie with every fiber of my being, but this is the stereotypical Lampwick. Not putting him in would have been nearly blasphemous. Also, so many adaptations ignored his existence completely that I have to make concessions sometimes.

In addition to that, his character is tied to a little traumatic memory of my own. I watched this movie when I was like, 5 or 6, and as opposed to my classmates and sister who got frightened by most of it I was pretty unfazed, since I already knew the real story had WAY worse scenes.

But I also have a pretty vivid auditory memory, so what stuck with me was not the kids being turned into donkeys as much as Lampwick screaming like “Help! Call your cricket! Call who you want!” with the most horrifying voice ever. Was part of my nightmares for a long while, nearly as much as other movie scenes I watched in the same time period and of which I’m still scared, like ET’s freezer sequence or Dumbo’s Pink Elephants.

[shyrose57]

Part 2 with da angst

2: Young Ranbob did not understand at all what was going on, infact he refused to believe he ever had anything to do with the sabotages, it was only when Dream took over completely and gave Ranbob enough of his mind to know what he was doing, did he finally accept it. He tried and tried to break Dreams control and get control of his body back, but nothing he did ever really worked, and the more he tried Dream eventually began to punish him, forcing him to stop. He felt aboustely awful, like a failure, a murder, and just a shitty person during all of this. His journal shows basically all of his mental decline, it went from normal, him recording special things during the day, to semi-normal, him expression concern and fear over the sabotages and killings (with some out of place words or sentences here and there appearing half way through, showing Dreams presence), to recordings from someone with obvious mental distress (misspelled words, extreme fear, showing fear of himself, hasty writings and drawings, very obviously out of place sentences (their neater than the rest and written differently, written by Dream), and meaningless words and sentences, obviously trying to say something but not knowing how too), all they way to flipping entries of when Ranbob is in control (sadness, despair, hasitly done, regret, and just heavy sentences) to when Dream is in control (Neat writing, stating "facts", showing a level of glee). Ranbob does still have it, he actually still uses it to record what happens in the groups and how far he's come. To the Gladiators its more of a "Hey I found this thing, lets read this thing." "No let's not read the thing." "Im going to ignore you and read it anyway.". The pictures are from the current ruined state of the City of Mizu, and pictures showing Ranbob at the fishermens house, struggling to walk and even eat on his own, though a few are from before Dream ever got a hold of Ranbob. 

3: The way you just said "Causally drops some trauma on them, huh?" And "Traumatized gremlins" made me laugh so much. Its so accurate and made me just think of the brothers vibing toghere before I just pop in and drop tons of trauma on them before dipping. "Ah, damn, the opponent stared me in my chest." "WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS!? YOUR BLEEDING OUT!" "Oh im used to this. Trust me I'll survive...probably." "RAN I SWEAR!". And "Ranbob when did you last eat?" "Uhhh, 2 days ago I think." "..." "D-did I eat too soon? I dont have to eat for another day or two max-" "Ranbob shut up and eat." "B-but-" "If you dont eat I'll tell Benjamin." "OK ok I'll eat."  Ran thinks its normal to get stabbed often, while Ranbob thinks its normal to only eat every 2 or 3 days, and to not sleep for a long time. There is one particular hunter that's been hunting him the longest, they go by Raq and are the most determined to get Ran, though they don't plan on killing him, but rather kidnapping him and exploting him for pearls. It was a bit hard at first, Ran kept having to leave to wander around the City for a bit, though he eventually successfully got accustomed to staying in one place, though he does sometimes wish he could travel again. 

4: A bit of everything, him getting violent and trying to run at first. But after that it fades more into what resembles a depressive state, with him refusing to move and crying while being lost in his head. He requires space to move around but be monitored in the first state, while for the second he needs constant comfort and physical contact. The aftermath was the fishermen and Jackie staying close to Ranbob for the next 2 days, while Grievous and Watson try to find Ran after he stormed off in anger and disbelief. Ran does know what a relapse means, but during the time he believes Ranbobs relapse might be something else (like his facade faulting maybe).

5: Not long at all, while Ran is carrying Jackie and Cletus makes fun of them as Ranbob is following him, Jackie quickly points out how Ranbob is like a lost puppy, and the same thing is basically happening to the two of them, but showed different ways. (The brothers making sure their family is safe by sticking close to them).

6: By the time they travel to Subbin, Ranbob has gained like 80 pounds and is a way more healthy weight and looks much more healthier than when the fishermen first found him. 

7: Their usually either getting materials, looking around the area/exploring, being taught things by someone, or sleeping. Charles was the one who revived the nickname! He called him that when trying different tactics to calm him down from a nightmare, Ranbob immediately froze and after a while started to cry, Charles panicked but Ranbob quickly comforted him, saying he just hasn't heard Bobby used in such a long time and brings back both incredibly happy and incredibly sad memories. And with permission, Charles starts using it more. Ran also freezes when hearing it, immediately going ridged and almost ripping a map he has in his hands, when asked by Grievous what was wrong, he just growled out nothing and moved on. Though he does mull over it later, conflicting emotions running all over him. 

8: Helping separate Ran and Ranbob was already big for the gladiators. As most people would just watch with glee. Then when they get time to talk and make the connection between Ran and Ranbob, they decide to make a exception and willingly put in effort to bond with the other group. Also them just naturally connecting made the bonding and trust easy between the groups. 

9: They do both! They keep some books, pictures, and other stuff, but sell others as relics. Ranbob mostly disapproves of them selling the items, but also knows it'll probably be best to sell them, and have them either spread the story of Mizu as a warning, or have the story of Mizu destroyed by assumptions and twisting of the story. 

10: I'm thinking maybe a Wilbur decendent is inhabiting a certain town, and when the groups stop in for a break, Wilbur decendant  houses them and listens to their story, and tries to help?

11: They mostly just find them, they either find them in book stores or ruined towns and cities (maybe I can put The Masquerade tale in here somewhere), a wide range of people, from scholars to plain history nerds, to books from during the time of the SMP itself to books written by seemingly no one. Ranbob finds some himself, mostly when exploring with the group. I think I misworded this! Dream is the one who compared Ranbobs journal to Ranboos memory book! Ranbob knows of Ranboos memory book but he himself doesn't see the connection. Ran feels all of the above. He is extremely ashamed and disappointed in himself for hurting his brother, he hugs him tightly and apologizes non-stop, promising to make it all up to him, and while he asks for forgiveness he also says he doesnt expect for his brother to forgive him. Once he finally sees Dream for real though he's the first one to blindly attack and try to kill em. Though he doesnt succeed. 

12: No one expect the brothers where outside in the rain when they fought. So no one knew of what was happening. Its only when Ran finally joined them, but alone, did they get scared and alarmed. And when Ran admits they got into a fight and Ranbob ran off, the fishermen immediately start yelling at Ran and run off to find Ranbob, screaming his name into the deafening thunder. Grievous follows them but Watson and Jackie hang back a bit, Jackie just looks at Ran with a heartbroken expression, tears in his eyes, and asks, with his voice shaking and laced with sadness, "Why can't you at least try to accept him, you dont have to like or forgive him, but why can't you just let him heal?" "Jackie..you dont know what's he done-" "I do know! And I'm willing to help him change and recover! You can't and your his brother! What kind of family member are you?" Ran tries to respond but Jackie just chokes and shakes his head at him, running off to follow the others. Watson then speaks up, simply saying "Mate, your doing more than hurting Ranbob at this point." Before running off to follow and join the others. Ran feels horrible, even before being confronted he so badly wanted to chase after Ranbob, but was to scared too and he constantly was trying to reassure himself that he did the right thing, but no matter what, he couldn't convince himself that was the truth. And after the confrontation, Ran is taking what was said to heart and also considering running away, leaving the group behind and sparing them of all the pain he believes he causes, believing that he's just as bad a family member as Ranbob was. But he doesnt, because he feels like he absolutely needs to talk to his brother and everyone else. 

2: Oh god. Poor Ranbob. He really went through it. It does make me wonder, did anyone notice something was up? His mentor? Parents? Friends? Speaking off, what was his relationship with them all? From what I know, he seemed to be under a lot of pressure, so how did that effect things, and how did Dream’s presence change that? And uh, gladiators reactions to reading the diary? Also, did they get caught reading it, or? And how did everyone in general react to the pictures? The fishermen may have taken the latter, but how did they feel about seeing Ranbob before Dream came into the picture?

3: I tell it like it is, glad to hear it’s made you laugh though. And uh, oh boy. On one hand, I definitely shouldn’t laugh at stabbing and possible starvation. One the other. Ran’s reaction. Ranbob being threatened with Benjamin. Is he often threatened with Benjamin? What exactly happens if Benjamin is told? Will Raq be causing future problems? Is Ran happy to be on the road again?

4: That sucks. Did the gladiators witness it first hand, or did the fishermen kind of realize what was happening and split off for a bit? Reactions to either seeing or hearing this happen?

5: Ranbob’s reaction to this? Heck, all of the fishermen’s reactions?

6: As he should. If he ever starts looking even slightly thin again, Benjamin needs to jump into immediate action! Also, give him a blanket and warm drink, please? Please, he needs it, they all do. 

7: So not too bad, that’s good. Charles was the one, huh? Interesting. Does Ranbob like having it back? And conflicting emotions, hmm? What would those emotions be? Does anyone ever notice the nickname makes him mad? 

8: So the gladiators consider that their big approval? Why’s that? Like obviously, they helped break it up, but was it something particular? Did they get between the two? Jump into the arena? What?

9: A warning of Mizu...there’s something awfully tragic about that. 

10: Sounds interesting! In what way would they be able to help? 

11: Scattered about, hm? So Ranbob knows about Ranboo’s memory book? Did Dream tell him, or did Mizu have a copy, or? And yay, Ranbob finally gets a hug! Most wonderful! Sad Ran doesn’t succeed in murder, but meh. Always next time, I suppose.

12: You...you were really going for my heart when you wrote this, weren’t you? Um, first of all, ouch. Second of all, also ouch. That’s all I’ve got for you right now. Just, ouch, Anon. Ouch.