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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Nancy & Rio

Nancy: I can't believe you're going along with this craziness Nancy: Oh my god, Rio Rio: I know it's fast Rio: but really, what difference does it make Nancy: It's not just fast, it's rushed Nancy: Not to sound like my mother but he should literally be at school Rio: I did tell him to go back Rio: He just wants to help with all the mess here Nancy: By leaving to jet off and get married? Yeah okay Rio: Well, obviously that's different Rio: but that's for me Nancy: My parents are gonna kill him, you do know that, right? Rio: I know Rio: but like I said, everyone knew Rio: it wasn't just empty words, we were always going to go through with it Nancy: Jesus Nancy: When he'd graduated, sure Nancy: Not now Nancy: He's not even started uni yet Rio: Give him chance to see the world and change his mind Rio: I know that's what your family wants, it's alright Nancy: If you're thinking there's a chance of it too, don't marry him Nancy: You're already engaged, everyone knows he's with you Nancy: You don't need to prove he's locked down before freshers week, like Rio: That's not why we're doing this Rio: Or how I am Nancy: Explain it to me then, 'cause lord knows he hasn't Rio: It is getting a little old, like Rio: Because we want to be married Rio: How else is there to say it Nancy: But why can't you just wait? Rio: Why should we though? Nancy: There's only a million reasons Nancy: Namely you aren't kids anymore and know how to be mature about things Nancy: Everyone would wanna be there, not tacked on as an afterthought, like Nancy: He should want to not spend all my parents money on this and wait until he's earning his own Nancy: You don't even live together Nancy: Do I actually have to go on? Rio: No you don't Rio: none of you want to be there Rio: and your parents don't specify what he's gotta do with the ridiculous amount of money they throw at him so Rio: if they wanna now it's a bit late, isn't it Nancy: That's not true Nancy: You're being unfair Nancy: Give me some credit if not them, I've been nothing but supportive Rio: I'm not saying you've not accepted that it's happening Rio: most have but no one's happy about it and that's fine Rio: can't force it but why wouldn't we want to do it alone without the pressure and background thought of all your lots bullshit, you know Nancy: No, you're just saying I wouldn't wanna be there Nancy: I love you both Rio: We'll have another one Rio: Later, with everyone Nancy: That's not the same Nancy: That's just a party Rio: What, you're really invested in the religious ceremony now or the legality of it all? Rio: It'll be the same Nancy: You're gonna be a bitch to me right now, really? Nancy: Okay fine Rio: I'm not trying to be a bitch but really Rio: it isn't an argument, stick to your former points if you like Rio: but that ain't valid Nancy: Oh my god, Buster spends all this time acting like I don't care, basically telling me I don't and now when I'm trying to show that I do neither of you want it Rio: Because it only comes up whenever y'all want us to not do something Nancy: Don't lump me in with my parents Nancy: That's so rude Rio: Sorry Rio: We told you because you are different Rio: and we weren't going to just do it and give you no warning Nancy: But not different enough that you actually want me there Nancy: Or that you don't think I need to be warned like this is the worse news ever or something Rio: It's hardly personal, come on Rio: We don't want anyone there Nancy: It's personal to me Nancy: I've only got one brother Rio: He isn't dying Rio: This doesn't need to be the thing it's becoming Rio: plenty of couples do the official wedding before the reception and all that, it's not that different Nancy: Other couples don't matter to me Nancy: And I don't know how you don't get what a big deal this is, not only that you're getting married, which is one thing Nancy: But also that you're basically doing it in secret again Rio: It's not a secret Rio: it's just for us Rio: I want to do one thing for myself Rio: all due respect this isn't about any of you Nancy: I'm not trying to make you feel bad Nancy: Or take anything away from you Nancy: Honestly Nancy: I'm just trying to get my head around this Rio: Yeah Rio: It's okay Rio: I know it's sudden, like I said Nancy: I know he really wants this Nancy: I could tell Nancy: I just Nancy: Is anything ever gonna calm down with this family, or? Rio: Probably not Rio: Looking unlikely Nancy: If you're happy that's all I want Nancy: Oversimplified maybe but Rio: I know it's not going to make you happy Rio: I'm just trying to say Rio: do you have to be unhappy about it, like Rio: it's not the worst thing, yeah Nancy: I'm not unhappy, I was just shocked Nancy: This is my brother you're marrying, you know Nancy: It's not exactly typical of him Rio: I know Rio: I know it's weird, like I am aware Rio: but it just is, you know Nancy: I understand Nancy: You want what you want Nancy: You can't unwant it 'cause someone else tells you to or isn't happy about it Nancy: You shouldn't have to Nancy: You literally don't have to, like Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much Rio: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologize Nancy: I couldn't just not be gay when I was getting bullied for it Nancy: I'm glad I don't like boys, believe me Nancy: Buster's the happiest he's ever been, you did that. So don't be sorry Rio: I didn't mean for any of this to happen Rio: to like him, I just did Rio: but I can't live an apology when I don't feel it anymore Nancy: I know Nancy: You love each other, you don't get to control that Nancy: And its a good thing, even when it doesn't feel like it Nancy: Who wants to be alone? To fight against what they want? Nancy: You're happy so be it Rio: Thanks, Nance Rio: You know we love you too Nancy: I know you do Nancy: Jury's still out on him Rio: Nah Rio: He does Nancy: Today maybe Nancy: 'Cause I'm not gonna tell mum and ruin his life Rio: Least wait 'til we're outta the country Rio: wouldn't put it past her to get us on the no-fly list Nancy: I'm gonna let her see all his bragging on the socials instead Nancy: More fun that way Nancy: "Your classroom looks suspiciously tropical, Buster" Nancy: While Dad just hits him with "Cool pic" Rio: 😂 Rio: Gonna laugh whilst I can Nancy: Me too Nancy: On the plus side, I think you've taken the heat off me at least until I graduate, so thanks Rio: Easy Rio: if I live to cause more turmoil you're very welcome Rio: what are the hated daughter-in-laws for after-all Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Oh honey, once you're married in you're gonna wish she hated you Nancy: She's gonna get so invested in your life Nancy: Can't have you ruining his, after all Rio: I'll take it Rio: Didn't stick around for career's advice and I could do worse, like Nancy: True Nancy: I'm just basking in the joy of knowing it literally doesn't matter who I bring home Nancy: Oh the freedom Rio: 😏 Rio: Charming Nancy: You know what I mean Nancy: I could be fucking my therapist and it'd be sidelined by this Rio: Well Rio: are you Nancy: Gross Nancy: No Rio: That's alright then Nancy: But she constantly says I need to be single for a while, so she clearly wants me for herself Rio: Deffo Nancy: Like, excuse you, Diane, I've been single for 18 years near enough Nancy: 1 girlfriend, honey, we've talked about it, get with the program Rio: Basically a nun Rio: out here calling you a dirty jezzie Nancy: Yeah, I know Nancy: Thank god you're giving me time to find a date for the other wedding Nancy: Clearly I'll need it, or a new therapist Rio: If you're moving Diane in, then yeah Rio: Unprofessional Nancy: Lord Nancy: She is so not the one Nancy: I think I hate her? Is that meant to be a thing? Rio: Probably Rio: You're stubborn and she's essentially telling you what to do Nancy: It's even worse Nancy: She makes me tell myself 🙄 Rio: Yeah Rio: Smug, init Nancy: It really is Nancy: Ugh enough about me Nancy: When are you going? What are you wearing? Rio: Brazil Rio: and Christ knows, oddly I don't have a wedding dress just hanging about Rio: I'll find one there, I guess Nancy: The question was when, he told me where but he hadn't got that far Nancy: I think he thinks you're gonna call it off unless you've made it to the actual plane Nancy: Just don't get married in a white bikini, yeah? Rio: Oh, my bad Rio: Head is truly all over the place Rio: Well, I am that tacky Nancy: 😲 take that back right now Nancy: You are not Nancy: This isn't the mindset Rio: Do you wanna like, moodboard my shotgun wedding for me? 😂 Rio: That's what I'm hearing here Nancy: UM YES Nancy: Get some Chanel and YSL involved, like Rio: Noted Rio: Whether that's the old or new depends how skint we're feeling once we're there, clearly Nancy: It's got to be classic or I'm disowning you Nancy: I'll allow you to save the real designer labels for the big day, bit of Vera or whoever but I can only budge so far, sorry Nancy: The silhouette is still everything even if he's the only one seeing it Rio: 😂 Rio: That's what I'm saying, stick with the bikini Rio: He'll be blown away Nancy: 🙄🙄 Nancy: That's so disgustingly true as well Nancy: Men Rio: Oh please Rio: Like you wouldn't wanna see your wifey like that Nancy: I'm not getting married ever but if I did, that woman better dress up for me Nancy: Whole 9 yards Nancy: Did you see my mother's wedding dress? Iconic Rio: Hmm Rio: Maybe you're right Rio: Great, now I gotta stress about that Rio: Thanks bitch 😜 Nancy: I would say sorry but I'm not Nancy: You can wear a bikini any time, you'll be going for like a week + Nancy: Besides, he's the kind of boy who actually appreciates clothes Nancy: Labels anyway Rio: I blame you entirely Nancy: Not sorry, again Rio: You can explain my sudden cold feet to him then Nancy: Gladly Nancy: Me and him haven't argued in so long Rio: 😑 Nancy: It would get something back to normal, that's all I'm saying Rio: Who wants normal? Nancy: Um Nancy: Me Rio: Nah Rio: Only 'cos you ain't had it Rio: No fun, trust Nancy: Alright, Diane 2.0 😏 Rio: Don't get ideas Rio: I know you love me but Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Are we gonna have time to do a hen before you go or are you literally flying out when you close this convo? Rio: Who? Me, you and Indie Rio: That would be interesting Nancy: Well, just me and you then Rio: I don't actually know, I'll have to check Rio: I know we were planning for asap but might've given himself a day to pack Rio: you know how it is Nancy: Tell him he can come to the spa too, he'll make time for that Rio: Yeah? Rio: Alright, prep us for the long ass flight Nancy: He loves a facial as much as I do, more probably Nancy: Not to mention a massage Rio: 😏 Rio: Know I'm meant to be mature and everything but Rio: lmao Nancy: DO NOT Nancy: So gross Rio: You said it! Rio: I can't help that Nancy: And you know exactly how I meant it 😒 Nancy: Just 'cause neither of us should be in white dresses no need to disgust me, thanks Rio: 😂 Rio: I'm not sorry Nancy: Well, please change your mind on that Nancy: 'Cause I'm too gay and too related for this, like Rio: That doesn't work getting you out of family functions, it's not gonna work now, babe Nancy: So mean Nancy: Okay fine I'm too single for this Rio: Aww Rio: I don't think we should go to that kinda spa Rio: too weird even for me Nancy: Oh god Nancy: 🙈🙉 Rio: What are hen parties for? Rio: I see why you're so keen now Nancy: I've never been to one Nancy: Thankfully Ro didn't get that far Rio: Shame Rio: I'd have loved to get her a stripper Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Librarian or something Rio: Sexy Rio: Drew probably would've done it Rio: the actual horror Nancy: I just choked on my coffee Nancy: and I'm this close to throwing up Nancy: But it's helped me think of the best stripper for her Nancy: Jesus himself Nancy: Sexily removes crown of thorns Rio: STOP Rio: Nothing hotter than blasphemy Nancy: I WISH I COULD Nancy: Help me actual Jesus Rio: He ain't gon' save you now Rio: fully looking the other way Nancy: Turning that chiseled jaw line 💔 Rio: Gutted Rio: Yeah, you gay, but you're a fellow ginge Rio: no loyalty Nancy: No way he was ginger Nancy: Or that he looked as much like a woman as he does in the art Rio: You should be living for femme Jesus Nancy: I didn't say I wasn't Nancy: Just that it's unlikely Rio: If you wanna chat theology, hit up your auntie fr Nancy: No thanks Nancy: I've done enough babysitting of them both recently Rio: Fun Rio: I just can't wait for the 2 month update when she tells us about all the things Astrid can do Rio: like, blink, cry, shit Nancy: Don't Nancy: There'll be a newsletter Nancy: Why do you think I wanna come to brazil? I'm planning to stay away until the christening is a distant memory Nancy: She's been planning it since before the baby came out, I swear Rio: Gotta get into heaven, mama Rio: the christening dress, good lord Rio: at least she's a girl, the poor baby boys Nancy: Right? Nancy: She wants to approve my outfit too Nancy: Excuse me, who am I? When have I ever made a faux pas Rio: 😂 Unlucky Rio: No showing your knees in church, bitch Nancy: 😒 Nancy: Poor Diane, it's all she's heard about 'cause I'm furious Nancy: Like, I'm not even joking I've had to send her links of what I'm going buy and she's said no to several looks Rio: The cheek Rio: you can't dress code a christening Nancy: Do you see Buster sending her pics of suits, no you do not Nancy: Golden boy could turn up topless in speedos and she wouldn't care Rio: Fresh from Ipanema Rio: She's gonna be 💔 about this wedding forreal Nancy: At least her and mum can bond over it Nancy: Break their silence Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Yeah? Rio: I knew my mum said it'd been pretty quiet Nancy: Better than them screaming at each other Nancy: Astrid doesn't need that Rio: I guess Rio: Was never going to be a joyous time was it Nancy: Not really Nancy: I don't blame you for wanting to leave Rio: Not like I'm allowed 'round that drama anyway Rio: got enough, still Nancy: Yeah Rio: Ah well Nancy: Feel free to join me in therapy Nancy: Buster won't Rio: You're good Rio: Wouldn't know where to begin, like Nancy: It's not as if I did either Nancy: I still don't Rio: Does it help? Nancy: I don't know Nancy: It doesn't, not help, if that makes sense Nancy: Like, I don't feel any worse Nancy: So maybe? Rio: It ain't hurting at least Nancy: Yeah Nancy: And I'll take that Nancy: It's weirdly nice to have someone to talk to, who's not too busy to really listen Rio: Yeah Rio: It makes sense Rio: and someone who odds on has a chance of knowing what they're chatting Nancy: It does make you feel less crazy when they don't look at you like 😲😲😲 Rio: Can't teach that poker face in Psych 101 Nancy: I thought I had a good one but she's taken it well and truly up a notch Rio: I think about the bad things too much as is though, never mind setting aside time for that shit Nancy: Me too Nancy: I could not feel more self indulgent, believe me Rio: Nah Rio: I think it's a good thing Rio: I just don't want to Nancy: I get it Nancy: Most days I don't want to, still Nancy: If she'd just let me text her I'd never go, like Rio: You just want her personal number, babe Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I told you, she's not the one Rio: Whatever you say, honey Nancy: Shush, bitch Rio: 😂 Nancy: I've text my brother about the spa, if I don't hear back I'll assume he's already got you in the air Nancy: Or, you know, he's being a prick Rio: 👍 Rio: I'll confirm either with a plane selfie Rio: or lack of, obvs Rio: Can you like Rio: just keep an eye on Indie when we are gone Rio: you don't have to do anything but she was a bit gutted so Rio: Everyone else will be too but yeah Nancy: Sure Nancy: Do you want me to text you updates spy style or do you want blissful ignorance? Rio: Put it this way Rio: Unless it's an emergency I can sort from Brazil Rio: I don't really want disturbing Rio: but you know the drill actual, keep an eye, tell the olders if she needs nagging into coming home for tea Nancy: Gross but fair Nancy: Okay Rio: Come on Rio: It's my honeymoon, what do you think gonna happen Nancy: I know what will I just don't need to think about my brother being the one doing it to you or with you Nancy: Thanks Rio: Don't be blowing up my phone then babe 😘 Nancy: You wish Rio: You know Rio: Forever holding out hope Nancy: It's fine, we don't need to make it competitive, I'm better Rio: 😂 Rio: That's the spirit Nancy: It's less of a brag more of a fact, really Nancy: Not saying you should dump him and marry me but Rio: Well if that's not what you're saying, why are you saying it at all? Nancy: I'm just saying if you did you know you wouldn't regret it, babe 😏 Rio: I would when you leave me high n dry and 💔 Nancy: Rude Nancy: I would never Rio: Sure 😏 Rio: Say that now Nancy: You're breaking my heart now! The love is real Rio: What can I say? Rio: Can't even hypothetically do him like that Nancy: So cute Rio: Yeah yeah Nancy: I better text him again to find out what he's planning to wear Nancy: Be awkward now if he didn't put the effort in, like Rio: You can bond over it Rio: you 🤓s Nancy: Like you're too cool to care, yeah? Nancy: You love to look good, too Rio: This? Rio: So effortless, naturally Nancy: You can fool him with that, but not me Rio: Rude Nancy: Now you know how the slander feels Nancy: I'm off to cry over the one that got away, obviously 😏 Nancy: Doubting my devotion Rio: Now I know why I don't go out with women Rio: fuck you knowing all my secrets, no thanks Rio: but okay then, see you getting a facial or not 😜 Nancy: Nobody knows all mine Nancy: Work on your excuses for why we can't be together before I see you next, yeah? Rio: Diane's working on it Nancy: She wishes Nancy: I'm not planning on seeing her every week for the rest of my life Rio: 💔 Nancy: That's my reputation, amongst other things so Rio: Gotta keep up appearances, babe Rio: Lord knows we're letting the side down Nancy: Anything for you, my love Rio: 💘 Nancy: You can invite Indie to the spa too, I promise not to seduce her in the sauna or anything Rio: I should hope the fuck not Rio: Not just jealousy talking Nancy: I should hope not Nancy: But I just mean, don't not invite her on my account, you know Rio: Of course Rio: I dunno what she'd make of it but I'll defs invite her Nancy: We might make a convert of her Nancy: The gay agenda Rio: Truly Rio: I just hope your brother is bringing back food she can eat Nancy: He's lived with you guys long enough Nancy: Must have a clue by now Nancy: I know he's a man but he's one with a brain Rio: And tastes that range beyond Maccas but Rio: he does his best, bless him Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I won't tell him if you don't Nancy: Big enough head, like Rio: That I can manage to keep from him, like Rio: Probably Nancy: You went from definitely to maybe so fast I didn't even get to challenge it Nancy: Disgustingly cute Rio: Progress from just plain disgusting Rio: I'll take it Nancy: I mean, you'll always be in hetero hell but Rio: 😏 Rio: I promise, it's not that bad Nancy: um okay sure Nancy: Unlikely story Rio: 😂 Rio: Not gonna make you try it, it's alright Nancy: You couldn't Nancy: We're over the age of sitting around getting dared to kiss Rio: Sure, you're saying that tonight Nancy: I'm saying that every night if you're offering me a man Rio: Suit yaself, butch Nancy: I will Nancy: Your taste is questionable, babe Nancy: Buster McKenna, of all people Rio: I've done considerably worse but that makes the bit less funny so Rio: go off Nancy: Thanks for letting me have my moment there Rio: Gotta get that best man material out somehow Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Am I gonna have to make a speech? Rio: Say what you like Rio: your brother would never hate you that much Nancy: I'll take that Rio: Though if you get pissed Rio: no stopping you Nancy: 🤐 Rio: I hope so, bitch Nancy: I'll have a date to impress/behave for, won't I? So Rio: Good luck 'cos doubt the rest will be on same orders Rio: dread to think 🙄 Nancy: Lord, don't put off the fictional lady before I've even properly thought her up Rio: My bad, my bad Rio: we're all totally sane and respectable Nancy: The numbers alone is intimidating without having to consider any of the personalities attached Nancy: Actually gonna die alone Rio: Not saying keeping it in the family is the way forward but at least I don't have to introduce him Nancy: I just loled Nancy: Won't be explaining that one to my barista Nancy: No offense Rio: Sure the town's already said it's piece on this one Nancy: Undoubtedly Nancy: School is even more fun now, like Rio: Soz Nancy: You really sound it, babe Nancy: I don't care, its not as if I have friends here anyway Nancy: Other than in the family Rio: Well, they'll find a reason to chat shit on us regardless Rio: Always have Nancy: Yeah Nancy: It's no different from my old school other than the accents they use when they slag you off Rio: Basically Rio: It's all the same shit Rio: why you think I left Nancy: I hope that wasn't the only reason Rio: Well no Rio: 'Course not Rio: There was just no reason to be there Nancy: Like Chlo Nancy: Did Buster tell you she left? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm not secretly pregnant with a baby that's taking it's time though Rio: just FYI Nancy: Me either Nancy: I only kissed her, I swear Nancy: He must be so relieved she's gone though Rio: Yeah, seriously Nancy: I can't believe her and James haven't broken up yet Nancy: I bet he's glad he doesn't have to see as much of her too Rio: Must be a record, right? Rio: Way they all bedhop Rio: Be gladder when the baby's here and he ain't tied to it 24/7 Nancy: 100% they are both cheating Nancy: Well, if anyone will have them Rio: Probably a little hard to pull when you're clearly heavily preggo Nancy: I have no idea how far along she even is Nancy: But the morals in that friendship circle, it wouldn't surprise me if his friends were still hooking up with her Rio: I'm not totally sure myself Rio: bit over half way, I feel? Rio: It's actually gross Rio: like we've all had crossovers but never on purpose like Rio: it's like a weird badge of honour or something idk Rio: posh people love swinging, facts Nancy: But you two are the ones being incestuous, okay Nancy: Everything they do is way grosser Nancy: Buster is well out of it, so thanks Rio: If nothing else Rio: Stopped the likes of Millie Tillie being your sis in law Nancy: Yeah Nancy: He could've been the one having a baby with Chloe Nancy: Imagine Nancy: But don't, 'cause NO Rio: Easily Rio: I try not to, yeah Nancy: Making myself shudder in public Nancy: Thank god he isn't that stupid Rio: She didn't really give him a choice either way Rio: you know he was out of it Nancy: Obviously, but he would have used a condom though that's like muscle memory to him at this point the amount of girls he's been with Rio: If it were that simple no one'd be getting pregnant, babe Nancy: None of his conquests have Nancy: I'll give him that Rio: Shh Rio: Harshing my vibe, babe Nancy: Sorry Rio: S'all good Nancy: You seem happy Nancy: All things considered Rio: I am Rio: with him, like Nancy: And he is too Nancy: I know Rio: Good Rio: What more can I ask for, like Nancy: I'm sorry if I was being a judgey bitch before Nancy: I'm not trying to channel my auntie, honestly Rio: You weren't Rio: like, you were but in a valid way considering Nancy: I'm just trying to look out for you both Nancy: It's weird in the middle Nancy: I know if it was me instead of you, you would too Nancy: But I can't stand in the way, I know that Nancy: And I don't really want to if it's what you both want Nancy: Which obviously Rio: I know that, I swear Rio: You haven't done anything I wouldn't Rio: There's no way to prove this is the right thing but time so Nancy: You'd go way harder than me Nancy: But yeah Rio: Taking it as a compliment Rio: regardless of how it was intended Nancy: It was meant as one Nancy: You're a bad bitch, you know I love that about you Rio: 💘 Rio: You know how to win me 'round Nancy: I'd hope so Nancy: I've been around you long enough Rio: Yeah, no one's accusing me of being mysterious Nancy: Me either, don't worry Rio: Oh to be afforded the luxury Nancy: Let's call it overrated Rio: Seems like a suitably bad bitch thing to do Rio: I'm alright w it Nancy: Good to know Nancy: 'Cause it's a thing now Nancy: We're running with it Rio: Oh, Buster's back Nancy: Tell the prick to text me back Rio: Will do, I'll direct quote you Rio: Better go though, don't wanna let my food go cold Nancy: Thanks Nancy: Yeah sure that's the reason Nancy: I'm gay not blind Rio: You said it, sister 😍 Nancy: I'm not saying he's hot, I'm saying you think so Nancy: Before you go there Nancy: Anyway go Rio: 💋

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