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bylanternlight · 6 years ago

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the rules of engagement

premise: you and yoongi are the unconventional type | fluff, slice of life, lowkey actual crack | second person pov | 3.3k words

pairing: domestic!yoongi x fem!reader

warnings: some adult language, alcohol, too many mentions of a pintrest board, and making eggs

preface: the sequel to my short drabble, a casual proposal, but could be read alone! (the read more link probably won’t work on mobile, apologies)

“WHAT! WAIT! Why didn’t you tell me you were going to propose?” Hoseok shrieked. He dropped his spoon back into his bowl with a loud clunk. The noise was deftly drowned out by the incessant chatter of their fellow restaurant patrons along with the hustle and bustle of the staff, near tripping over themselves in the midst of lunch hour.

Despite that, Yoongi was still quick to shush him. “It’s not like I was planning anything, I just asked.”

Unfortunately, his friend looked even more taken aback by his attempted explanation. “You didn’t pick out a ring? Or get down on one knee? Or take her somewhere romantic? What kind of proposal is that?”

“An effective one? She did say yes.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes. “I suppose.” He picked his spoon back up, resuming his meal, albeit with less interest in his food than before. “So, Min Yoongi getting married, huh? The whole ‘white dress, I do, sign your name’ married?”

“I don’t know what other kind of marriage there is, Hobi.” Yoongi quipped, chuckling. “But yes, actually married. Although the white dress isn’t decided yet.”

“What kind of wedding doesn’t involve a white dress? That’s like, basic wedding rule #1.”

“Says who?”

“Um, says everyone? Look, weddings are the way they are for a reason, man. The white dress is iconic. A staple. A classic. People have been doing it forever and everyone loves it.”

“Okay, okay, I got it.” Yoongi shoved a spoonful of beef into his mouth. “Since when are you the wedding dress expert?” he asked.

“Sooyoung and I discuss it quite a bit. We have a wedding Pintrest board.”

A Pintrest board? Yoongi raised his eyebrows. He was going to ask you about that later. “Look, I know you and Sooyoung are the cutest, most gushy couple of the century, but not everyone is into that.”

“. . . So you’re saying you won’t have anything cutesy or gushy?”

Yoongi sighed, dejected. “Hoseok, no, I’m saying that we just got engaged yesterday and Y/N and I haven’t even decided on anything yet. I’ll let you know about any developments. Promise.”

Hobi regarded him with a suspicious glance. “If you say so,” he conceded. “At least let me throw you a bachelor party.”

Of course, Yoongi thought. Jung Hoseok was never one to miss a party opportunity, especially when he got to adopt the role of the host.

Yoongi laughed. Hobi was a pain in the ass, but he was a loyal pain in the ass, and he always meant well. “Alright,” Yoongi answered. “If you insist.”

---

From the kitchen, you hear the front door open and shut, followed by the thud of Yoongi kicking his shoes off. Without looking up, you call out to him, “Welcome home, hun.”

“Hey, sweets,” he responds, walking into the kitchen. “Whatca making?”

“An omelet. Trying to get rid of these eggs before they go bad. Hey, can you grab me one of those big bowls?”

Yoongi heads to the dishware cabinet and hands you a blue bowl from the top of its respective stack. “Hey, does Sooyoung have a wedding Pintrest board?”

“Um, yeah? Why do you ask?” you inquire, cracking eggs into the bowl.

“I was talking to Hobi earlier today, and he said that he and Sooyoung have a Pintrest board dedicated to weddings.”

“Hobi is in on it, too? I didn’t know it was a joint effort.” You shrug, grinning at your fiance. “I assume you told him about the engagement, then.”

Yoongi groans, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Yes, I did, and he gave me a hard time about how I proposed. And our hypothetical wedding plans.”

You can imagine all to well Hoseok’s excitement, followed by his bewilderment at Yoongi’s nonchalance at the whole situation. As such polar opposites, their friendship is sometimes damn near comical.

“Well, you’re not alone in that,” you tell him as you whip the eggs with a fork. “I called Soo and told her earlier, too. Talked my ear off about all her ideas for our big day -- can you pass me the salt and pepper?”

“Here, what else do you need me to do?” He grabs both condiments before coming around to your side of the counter, setting them beside you.

“Can you butter the pan and get the onions, please? Thanks. Anyway,” you continue as he gets to work, “when I told her that I didn’t know if I was wearing white or not, she yelled at me and told me I was insane. I believe her exact words were ‘then there’s no point in having a ceremony and you might as well just go to the courthouse this afternoon.’“

“Speaking of, maybe we should,” Yoongi says, in the middle of chopping an onion. “With the verbal harassment Hoseok leveled at me today, I would like to avoid Jin’s unavoidable scrutiny. He’ll tell us we’re doing everything wrong at every step.”

“Sounds like him, alright.” You laugh along with him, reaching to turn the stove on. “In all seriousness, we could, but would you really prefer it?”

Yoongi, ever melodramatic, exhales a prolonged breath. “No.”

“Exactly. So, I told her to hop off my dick and let me plan my own wedding in peace, and she agreed as long as she got to be my maid of honor and plan my bridal shower.”

“Hoseok also wants to throw me a bachelor party. I swear, they’ve morphed into some sort of extra hyper-enthusiastic power duo. Their energies just bounce off of each other and multiply.”

“We did too good of a job setting them up. We should never have done it.”

“Definitely.” Yoongi, finished chopping, dumps the diced onion into the whipped, seasoned eggs. “What do you do at a bridal shower anyway?”

“From my understanding, we have brunch, get day drunk on wine and then I get gifts, so I wasn’t exactly objecting. It was either that or a bachelorette party, and you know Soo would’ve done some off the wall bullshit, so a bridal shower seemed better for me.” You pour the eggs into the pan and grab your spatula. “They’re really making it seem harder than it needs to be. I mean, I thought we could chill out, maybe make some phone calls, send some emails, do some online shopping.”

“You make it sound so boring.” You look up from the pan, glaring at him, and he immediately backtracks with, “But I get what you mean, of course.”

Gratified, you turn back to your cooking with a smile. “I was thinking Namjoon could be the one to marry us. He’s a minister, right?”

“Indeed he is. Leave it up to Joon to be the local Universal Life Church certified ordained minister. He’d be thrilled to do it. Maybe Hana could be the flower girl? She would have a field day with that.”

Would she ever. Cute Kim Hana, being Namjoon and Seokin’s only child and the center of their world, was infamous for her love of attention. Though you loved her, she was a little bit, for lack of a better word, spoiled; but you couldn’t really blame her. Her dads just didn’t know how to refuse anything to her chubby cheeks and doe eyes.

“Perhaps the other darling toddler Jeon Jeongguk could be the ring-bearer?”

At that, Yoongi snorts. “If he were here right now and he heard you say that, he would kick you.”

“I’d like to see the kid try. He knows better,” you say. “We don’t need a ring-bearer anyway. How about venue? Since city hall is off the table.” You turn off the flame. With the omelet finished, you flip it onto a large plate and slide it over to Yoongi. He takes the plate and places it on the dining table.

“We have a pretty nice backyard,” he teases, grabbing two bowls from the cabinet and filling them with rice. Sure, it’s a joke, except you think it’s sort of brilliant.

“Our backyard!” You take a seat at the table. “Yoongs, that perfect.”

He sits down next to you, furrowing his eyebrows. “I was . . . joking,” he says, sounding genuinely concerned. “You know that, right?”

Your eyes roll heavenward. “Yes, I know that,” you affirm, smacking him on the arm. “But think about it. We have a perfectly nice, big backyard with lots of plants and greenery and a big ole tree -- ”

“Courtesy of your illustrious writing career and my talent for music,” he interjects.

You wave away his comment. “Yes, exactly, and we can get some nice chairs and make a trellis out of wood or something and we have a wedding ceremony setup in no time. With minimal cost and no middle man. And everyone loves our house, we just have to clean up and decorate a little.”

Yoongi is silent for a moment, processing your new plan. “You scare me sometimes,” he eventually starts, “but you make a good case. Backyard wedding it is. Now, I’m starving, so let’s eat.” He places one of the two rice bowls in front of you. “Happy eating, darling.”

Ridiculous. You flash him a grin. “Happy eating to you, too, idiot.”

---

You come home to a mess in the living room. Confetti and streamers cover the floor, empty beer bottles are littered throughout the room, and a half-eaten cake sits abandoned on the coffee table.

You knew Yoongi and the boys were having their bachelor party tonight, but you hadn’t asked for details. Maybe you should have.

As if on cue, the front door opens to reveal seven men in various levels of intoxication walking into your home. You see Yoongi, looking 75% asleep, slung over Namjoon in the back, a sash with the words “BRIDE TO BE” in cursive wrapped around his body.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jin -- seemingly the most sober of them, perhaps besides Joon -- greets, half-carrying Jimin onto the couch. “Sorry for the mess. We sorta pregame-d before heading out.”

“Oh, no problem,” you tell him, laughing. “As long as you guys had fun. Who drove?”

“Yoongi’s brother. He’s on his way home right now.” After placing Jimin on the couch, he hands you Yoongi’s house key. “Yoongi gave this to me earlier. Said I would need it. Hey, do you mind if we all crash here tonight? We wanted to come back and clean up, but it’s a little late.”

More like they’re all a little too incapacitated, but you don’t tell him that. “Yeah, sure, you guys can sleep in any of the extra rooms.”

“Thanks, you’re awesome.” Jin leads a giggling Taehyung and a confused-looking Jeongguk upstairs, leaving Jimin asleep on the couch.

You turn to Hoseok, who has carried the cake to the kitchen and busied himself with shoving forkfuls of it into his mouth. “Hobi?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you guys have work tomorrow?”

“I think so.”

“Do you think any of you can make it?”

He shrugs. “It’s whatever, though,” he assures you through his mouthful of cake. “It’s not like Bang PD can fire us.”

You suppose that’s true. “Well, are you cool with staying the night?”

He gives you a thumbs up and returns to his cake. You make a mental note to text Sooyoung about her boyfriend’s whereabouts.

Namjoon walks over to you, practically dragging Yoongi next to him. “He had that much, huh?” you ask him.

“You don’t want to know how much.”

“Can you help me get him upstairs?”

Despite sleepy-drunk Yoongi practically being a dead weight, with you and Namjoon’s combined strength, you manage to get him into bed. You debate changing his clothes for him, but decide not to disturb him any further. You’ll just have to change the bedding tomorrow.

“Thanks, Joon. Now get back to your husband.” Namjoon whispers a quick goodnight as he leaves your room, shutting the door behind him.

Leaving him in bed, you change into your pajamas and head into the bathroom. After brushing your teeth, you hear Yoongi groan and mumble something incoherent.

“Hey, dummy.” You kneel next to his side of the bed.

He squints at you for a moment in his drunken haze, before realizing who you are and grinning a goofy grin. “Hey, wife.”

“Not wife yet, remember? Wedding’s next week.”

“Yeah, but might as well be,” he drawls. “Where were you today?”

“I was at Soo’s. We were doing wedding stuff.”

He hums a contemplative hm, as if he were learning something completely new. “You know I love you, right?”

You smile. In addition to being a sleepy drunk, he was also an emotional drunk. “I know. I love you, too.”

“I promise I’ll be a great husband. The best. Just for you.” He points a finger towards you, almost jabbing you in the eye. You catch his hand before it gets there.

“Careful,” you warn him, giggling.

“Oops, sorry.” He chuckles to himself and winds his fingers through yours. “And you’ll be the best wife. I feel it in my heart and my soul.”

God, even when he’s drunk, he’s the most charming bastard alive.

You kiss your entwined hands, setting them down on his stomach. “Go to sleep, Yoongs.”

“Can you give me a kiss?”

“No, because you’re drunk and I just brushed my teeth, thank you very much.”

“Cruel,” he whines, turning on his side.

You stand up and round the bed to your side, climbing in under the covers. “You’re lucky I’m still sleeping in the same bed with you and your unshowered self after a whole night of bar-hopping.”

He flops back onto his back. “Fine,” he concedes, though he continues to pout. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi.” You turn off the lamp on your nightstand, blanketing the room in darkness.

You fall asleep to the even cadence of Yoongi’s breathing.

---

“That was harder than I expected.”

“That’s what you get for not having any bridesmaids,” Sooyoung scolds, securing one last lock of hair to the back of your head with a bobby pin. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“You were the one who wanted to be my maid of honor,” you remind her.

“If I weren’t your maid of honor, in addition to having no bridesmaids, you wouldn’t even have me to help you.”

“As if you wouldn’t have helped regardless. You act like a heartless bitch, Soo, but you would never sit there and let me get ready on my own.”

She lets out a indignant hmmf, a sign that she knows you’re right but is too stubborn to admit it out loud.

Reaching for a bottle of hairspray, she says, “Close your eyes real quick, I’m not in the business of blinding brides.”

You obey as she sprays your head liberally. “There. Now you look level 1000 hot when you used to look only level 100 hot.”

“Rude.” You chuckle at your best friend. “Really, though, thank you for everything, Sooyoung. You’re the best.”

In the mirror in front of you, you see her smile. “Don’t you forget it,” she says, hugging your back gently as to not disturb her handiwork. “I’m gonna go okay? Hoseok is waiting for me.” She pulls away a bit reluctantly. “I’m so happy for you, Y/N. Min Yoongi is a lucky guy, and you’re gonna have the best day. I just know it.”

She really was the best. For all of her sarcasm, she was as dedicated a friend as they come. “Love you, Soo,” you call out to her as she heads out the door.

“Love you too, slut!” she shouts as she shuts your bedroom door behind her. So much for that.

You stand up and adjust your dress, a simple dark red number with a flowy, floor-length skirt and capped sleeves. While it wasn’t technically a wedding dress, you had tried it on and instantaneously decided that you were getting married in it. You also figured it would be more comfortable than a traditional wedding dress, anyway.

You turn in front of the mirror, carrying out one final sweep of your outfit. A knock at the door distracts you from adjusting the last of your jewelry.

You turn around to see Yoongi closing the bedroom door behind him. The heels of his dress shoes clink against the wood floor as he strides over to your figure in front of the vanity.

He stops short of reaching you, keeping enough distance between yourselves to look you up and down. You can't say you're not doing the same.

To put it simply, he's too good to be real. Not just the tux and the tie and the pocket square that makes him look like the death of you, but also the way he seems to exude happiness and nerves and wonder. He gazes at you as if you're his moon, his sun, his stars, and you couldn't possibly doubt its truth.

As long as he's with you, no worries could possibly matter. Looking at him now, you have never before believed so wholeheartedly that everything would be fine.

You don't know how long you both stand there staring at each other, but you're the one to break the silence with a soft mumble of, “Well, hi there.”

A smile breaks his face and you completely disregard the condition of your accessories, practically leaping to wind your arms around his neck. You crane your head upwards, laughing at his smile that hasn't faltered one bit. His hands find purchase on the small of your back, pulling you in closer. “Well, hi to you too.”

"You know, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the wedding."

"Hmmm, for one, I’ve already seen the dress and two, you think I'm going to let some babble stop me from visiting my betrothed?”

"Hmmm, and you couldn't wait maybe twenty minutes?"

"Absolutely not. If I haven't already made it clear, you're sort of irresistible."

You shake your head at his antics, grinning. Ridiculous. “Fantastic doesn't come anywhere close to accurately describing how good you look right now.”

“Say that to yourself, darling.” He reaches down to brush a curled lock of hair behind your ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Disgustingly in love.”

He places a quick peck on your cheek at the answer. “Good to hear.”

“How are you feeling?”

Yoongi leans forward until his forhead is touching yours, inhaling a deep breath. “Happy, mostly. Of course. Nervous.”

A hint of a frown touches your lips. “Nervous about what?”

“I don't know. I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly. We really put in work for this and we’re only gonna do this once.”

“Well, I sure hope so.” At his unamused look, you counter, “Look, it doesn't matter if this wedding ends up happening in a dumpster fire. I'll love every second of it because I'll be there with you.”

A comfortable silence washes over the room as you stare at each other once again. After a moment, his head drops into the crook between your neck and shoulder. His breath brushes your skin as he laughs and whispers, “Biscuit, you can't possibly be real."

You giggle at the endearment, pulling away from him. You smooth your hands over the lapels of his tux, straightening them out. Your eyes flick to the clock on the wall behind his head, reading the time. “It's starting soon. You better get back out there before Jin beats your ass."

"Yes, ma'am. Wouldn't want to bruise this pretty face on our special day." Yoongi smiles, placing a quick kiss atop your head. Warmth, comfort, strength. "See you out there, Y/N," he says as he heads out the door.

After he’s left, you sigh into the empty room,”See you, too.”

You chuckle to yourself. He's just so utterly, maddeningly him.

But then again, that's exactly what you love.

#bts fic #bts fanfiction #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #artemis writes #domestic!yoongi #bts #bts:myg #the rules of engagement #myg oneshot #jesus it's 2 am #yoongi scenario #bts au #min yoongi

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