#everyone always acts like i'm intentionally a fuck up or malicious and not just a goddamn idiot
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i am genuinely incapable of interacting with or existing around other people without fucking everything up and i'm so tired
#i'm so incredibly lonely but at this point i just#don't even have it in me to keep trying?#i'm just going to spend my whole miserable life alone with no friends and it is what it is i guess#i try so hard and still never get anything right and i just don't have the energy or ability to keep trying so hard#if i can't do anything right with all of my focus and effort then why even try?#if i'm going to be lonely and isolated and a bother to everyone anyways why am i still making an effort?#my roommate is my only friend at this point and all i ever do is piss her off and do everything wrong even though i try so hard#and i don't know what the point is anymore#if i'm just a bother and a burden at my best then why am i even trying#i give up#i give up on friends i give up on trying not to make people angry i give up on tryring not to ruin everything i touch#even when i think i'm following someone's exact wishes and instructions i still misunderstand somehow and get it wrong#and it doesn't matter how many times i DO get something right because i've messed up before and that's always more relevant#everyone always acts like i'm intentionally a fuck up or malicious and not just a goddamn idiot#who can't understand other people and what they want no matter how hard i try#venting#i guess#idk i'm being annoying right now even but i have no one to talk to and i have to get it out somewhere#i'm at the end of my fucking rope with just existing
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