#everybody should become a hangman's chair fan

[v-anrouge]

Hangman's chair is genuinely so fucking perfect agh i need friends that listen to them as well

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Special in USA Day 1 preview

This is airing live Saturday night on AXS TV and the Fight Network at 8pm EDT.  It’ll also be streaming on NJPWworld.com, but the stream is region-locked for the US, to get Americans to watch it on TV.  I’ve heard you can get a free trial of Sling TV and watch the AXS broadcast that way, but I need to look into it.  The show will be available on demand  at NJPWworld for everybody the next day.

Kazuchika Okada vs. Cody Rhodes - Okada holds the IWGP heavyweight championship, the premiere title in New Japan Pro Wrestling.  Rhodes recently captured the ROH world champion, making him the top titleholder in Ring of Honor.  Only Okada’s title is on the line in this match, so Cody has a chance to become a dual champion.  It’s probably not as big a deal as when the NWA champion would wrestle the AWA or WWF champions, but the spirit is there.

If you’re new to New Japan Pro Wrestling, Okada is the top guy in the promotion, having held the top championship for most of the last five years.  He’s tall, young, and a little bland, with no obvious personality beyond being cocky and rich.  If JBL were on the New Japan announce team, he’d trot out that line about “building a WWE superstar from the ground up” for Okada.  Like Roman Reigns, Okada catches some heat from fans who think he’s not the best guy in the company and is overpushed because of his perceived marketability.  Unlike Reigns, Okada has racked up an impressive series of match of the year candidates (especially in the past year alone) that have largely silenced the naysayers.

Cody probably needs no introduction since he’s wrestled for WWE, New Japan,  TNA/Impact/Global Force, Ring of Honor, Pro Wrestling Guerilla, EVOLVE, and WhatCulture just in the past year.  Cody’s story--a lackluster push in WWE, the death of his legendary father Dusty Rhodes, and his dramatic decision to become a free agent--has set the tone for his act as an underrated blue-chipper on the cusp of greatness.  After working freelance for a while, Cody has settled into NJPW and ROH as a heel in Bullet Club, an NWO-style faction founded by Finn Balor and once led by AJ Styles.

This is a match that could have major ramifications on New Japan and ROH booking through the end of the year.  If Cody wins the IWGP title, it will upset the balance of power in Bullet Club, where he nominally takes a back seat to Okada’s top rival, Kenny Omega.  It would also play into Cody’s ROH storyline, where he’s supposedly a free agent that could walk away at any time with their world title.  The angle will clearly be to find someone who can beat Rhodes, and that’ll sound like a taller order if he’s the champion of two promotions.  Something else to consider is that Cody is not scheduled to participate in the G1 Climax this summer, which the IWGP champion traditionally does.  Basically, if Cody wins, it’ll be big news.

That could be trouble for New Japan, in that an Okada win would preserve the status quo and might be disappointing for a lot of fans, especially fans attending this event.  An American promotion would probably sense that and hot-shot a title change, but I don’t get the feeling New Japan is so capricious.  If they didn’t plan for Rhodes to win six weeks ago, they probably won’t change those plans now.

Ordinarily I’d be skeptical that Cody has a prayer of winning the title.  But the underlying angle for Okada all year is that he’s survived some brutal wars, and it’s starting to wear him down.  It would be deliciously tragic for him to fight his greatest opponent to a stalemate, and then have nothing left in the tank to stop his greatest opponent’s flunky from stealing the win.  That alone gives Cody a chance.  Now that he’s ROH champion, I’d say he’s got a bigger chance.  But I’m not ready to count out Okada just yet.

Kenny Omega vs. Michael Elgin - This is part of the first round in the tournament to introduce the new IWGP United States championship.  The winner will face either Jay Lethal or Hangman Page in the semifinals on Day 2.

Omega is the rising star of New Japan, and definitely the man who benefited the most from the departure of AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura last year.  He took over Bullet Club from Styles, elevating the meta-heel style that he’s cultivated alongside guys like the Young Bucks, Adam Cole, and Kevin Owens.  Kenny and the Bucks are “The Elite,” a stable-within-a-stable that frankly may be getting too big for Bullet Club.  A schism could be coming, based on what we’re seeing with Cody Rhodes lately.

Elgin has the look and background of a journeyman wrestler, but he’s only 30 and has made impressive gains in the past few years, winning the ROH world title and getting a pretty good push in New Japan.  In WWE his size and strength probably wouldn’t get a second look, but in NJPW it’s enough to get some big reactions from the Japanese audience, which loves power spots.

We’ve seen these two fight throughout 2016, most notably in New Japan’s first-and-only ladder match.  Either would be a strong choice to hold the US championship, even though both are Canadian.  Omega is more pivotal to the company’s plans, but we don’t yet know how exactly.  If he’s going to win the world title to be a non-Japanese face for the entire brand, he can lose here to set up Elgin as a future contender.  If he’s just going to be the face of the non-Japanese arm of the brand, then it makes perfect sense for him to steamroll through this tournament.  I’m just not sure which is more likely, so I’ll pick Omega to advance and save the intrigue about his future for the semifinals.

Tetusya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii - Another first round match in the US title tournament.  On Day 2 the winner of this match will go on to face the winner of Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Juice Robinson.

Naito is most easily explained as the anti-Roman Reigns of pro wrestling.  Imagine, if you will, Roman being pushed hard and made to look strong, winning the Royal Rumble and being set up as the inevitable challenger for the world title at Wrestlemania, getting a tepid response the whole way.  Now imagine WWE actually runs a poll asking if the intercontinental title match should headline Wrestlemania instead, and then actually doing it.  Now imagine Roman actually getting angry about this, forming the coolest heel faction in the company, and becoming a hundred times more over than he ever was as a babyface.  This is pretty much what Naito went through from 2013 to 2015.

Ishii is a rugged fireplug of a man, hard as fuck and dour as hell.  He will have no time for any of Naito’s bullshit.  It’s tough to think of anybody to compare to Ishii, but I guess you could say he’s sort of like Tazz or Samoa Joe, at least in terms of persona.

On paper Naito is a top act and Ishii’s role is to put guys like that over.  But New Japan likes its upset tournament wins, and Ishii would make sense advancing in the tournament as a threat to the eventual winner.  Naito is coming off a big loss to Hiroshi Tanahashi last month, so another loss here would be pretty significant.  On the other hand, if he wins I don’t see any particularly interesting tournament opponents for him, except perhaps Kenny Omega, and I doubt they’re giving that one away again for  a while yet.

Bottom line, Naito doesn’t need to win here unless he’s getting the US championship, and there isn’t much point in that since it would be a retread of his recent run as intercontinental champion.  And if anyone’s going to knock him out early, it’s bound to be Ishii.

Tama Tonga & Tanga Roa vs. Raymond Rowe & Hanson - The Guerillas of Destiny used chairs to beat Rowe and Hanson for the IWGP heavyweight tag team title at Dominion, so this is the rematch.

Hanson and Rowe have been wrestling as War Machine for a few years now, and they’ve got a good thing going as two big dudes doing flashy moves.  They’d be a great fit in WWE, and I’d be very surprised if WWE isn’t keeping an eye on them.  Tanga Roa is best known to American fans as Camacho from WWE a few years back, and for being the biological son of Haku.  Tama Tonga, one of Haku’s adopted sons, is best known as the bad guy from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II, as well as your darkest sexy fears.

These are two good teams but I’m not sold on the idea of seeing them wrestle again so soon.  It might be that New Japan moved the title onto GOD for the sole purpose of putting it back on War Machine in their native country.  I’d like to think that, since War Machine has a good thing going and there’s no reason to interrupt their momentum.

Hiroshi Tanahashi & KUSHIDA & David Finlay & Jay White vs. Billy Gunn & YOSHITATSU & Yohei Komatsu & Sho Tanaka - Tanahashi is the IWGP intercontinental champion and, no bones about it, NJPW’s equivalent to John Cena--the franchise player who carried the company for years, now reducing his workload as he enters his forties.  Kushida is the IWGP junior heavyweight champion (and ROH television champion), and plays a similar role of a white-meat babyface in the New Japan lightweight division.  Finlay and White were both rookies until recently, working opening matches in their generic black trunks, but White was sent to Ring of Honor to develop a gimmick while Finlay managed to break out of the pack without leaving Japan.

Gunn, a noted ass man who loves to pick ‘em and kick ‘em, needs no introduction.  In New Japan, he’s been an occasional ally to Yoshitatsu, who had a forgettable 2007-2014 run with WWE.  Tanaka and Komatsu have been on excursion in Mexico wrestling as Raijin and Fujin, the Tempura Boyz, for CMLL.

This looks to be a filler match to get Tanahashi, Kushida, and Gunn on the show without actually having them work very hard.  We know Gunn is challenging Tana for the IC title on Day 2, and I gather Kushida will defend the junior title as well, so they’ll be saving the best stuff for then.  (I realize Gunn is 53 and doesn’t have that much “best stuff” to save, but you get the idea.)  If it was up to me I’d book Billy to score the fall to build to the title match, maybe on Finlay.

Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Juice Robinson - One of the first round matches in the US title tournament.  Whoever wins gets Naito or Ishii in the semifinals on Day 2.  Sabre is the current RPW British heavyweight champion, but that title is not at stake.

Sabre may be best known to most American fans for his run in last year’s WWE Crusierweight Classic, where he was a heavy favorite to win assuming he signed with WWE, but he didn’t.  He’s held the Rev Pro title twice, beating AJ Styles and Katsuyori Shibata--I didn’t see those matches but that sounds pretty fucking impressive.  I’ve been particularly intrigued by his style of wrestling his way out of holds instead of powering out.  Of all the guys who have never held an IWGP singles championship in this tournament, I think he’s the strongest choice to go all the way.

Juice is familiar to WWE fans as CJ Parker, the guy Kevin Owens beat in his first NXT match.  He’s had a good run in New Japan working his way up the ladder, and if you’ve been watching this guy for a few years you start to feel a little pride when gets little pushes here and there.  Juice has a score to settle with Sabre from the Dominion show, where Taguchi Japan eliminated Suzuki-gun in a trios gauntlet match, but then Sabre jumped back in the ring and twisted Juice like a pretzel, leaving him easy pickings for Los Ingobernables de Japon.

The only thing going against Sabre here is that I don’t see him being matched with Naito in the semifinals or Omega in the finals.  (New Japan seems to limit interaction between their big three heel factions.)  If those two get eliminated early on, the tournament is Zack’s to lose, but that’s a tall order.  Juice makes more sense if you need somebody expendable to do a job later in the tournament, against literally anyone in the field.  It’s tough to call, so I’m going with Sabre for now.

Jay Lethal vs. Hangman Page - Yet another first round US championship tournament match.  The winner of Omega/Elgin will meet the winner of this match on Day 2 in the semifinals.

Lethal’s big claims to fame are his run in TNA as “the guy who does the Macho Man impression” and his run in ROH as “the guy who demands to be taken more seriously.”  Lethal was laid out in an angle at the ROH Best in the World show last week, and ROH has already taped a month of TV where he’s supposedly MIA, so it’s very possible that he will be either scratched from the tournament or show up with bandaged ribs and get obliterated.

Adam Page is a midcarder in ROH and a prelim guy in New Japan.  He’s in Bullet Club and carries a noose around to hang his opponents, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him win a match.  I consider him the least likely to win this tournament, and that’s knowing his first round opponent may not even make it to the show.

Assuming Lethal is swapped out for a last-minute replacement, Page is the perfect guy to get blindsided and squashed by a big surprise.  I really don’t see any outcome where he advances to the next round unless they want to do Omega vs. Page to set up some Bullet Club shenanigans.

Hiromu Takahashi & EVIL & BUSHI & SANADA vs. Jushin Thunder Liger & Dragon Lee & Volador, Jr. & Titan - Takahashi and his teammates are members of Naito’s faction Los Ingobernables de Japon, the Japanese spinoff of CMLL’s Los Ingobernables stable in Mexico.  Evil, Bushi, and Sanada are the current NEVER six-man tag team champions, but this is an eight-man tag so the title won’t be at stake here.

Jushin Liger is a 30+-year veteran and a legend among light heavyweights, who’s wrestled at the first WCW Monday Nitro and the first NXT Takeover: Brooklyn.  Dragon Lee, Volador, and Titan are all CMLL guys, and Lee in particular has a long-running rivalry with Takahashi.

I’m guessing this is going to be a throwaway match to get all these guys on the card for Day 1, and then maybe on Day 2 the LIJ guys will be doing more important stuff.  New Japan and ROH love to show off their partnerships with promotions around the world, but in practice the CMLL guys tend to just be treated like interchangeable nobodies in the undercard.  So I’m pretty sure LIJ will win, and I just hope the finish involves Bushi using the poison mist.

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson & Marty Scurrl & Bad Luck Fale & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Rocky Romero & Trent Beretta & Will Ospreay & Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe - This is another multi-man match with little purpose except to set up the IWGP junior heavyweight tag title match on Day 2, with the Young Bucks (Nick & Matt) defending against Roppongi Vice (Romero & Beretta).

The Bucks are the 500-lb gorillas of the non-WWE wrestling world, and they can basically do whatever they want, wherever they want.  Marty Scurrl is the guy who dresses like a plague doctor and carries umbrellas around like he’s auditioning to be the next Batman villain.  Fale is big and fat and wears sunglasses.  Yujiro thinks he’s a pimp and is friends with this nice lady, but I don’t know if she’s coming to this show.  This is pretty much everybody else from Bullet Club that isn’t higher on the card (except Chase Owens, but I’m not even sure Bullet Club remembers Chase Owens is in Bullet Club).

Beretta and Romero are a part of Okada’s stable Chaos, as is Ospreay, but I guess there weren’t enough Chaos guys left to team with so they got the Briscoes.  Rocky is a cool dude who knows the best places to party in Japan.  Trent used to be a WWE jobber and is friends with Rocky.  Ospreay is one of the hottest names in light heavyweight/flippy-floppy style wrestling, and seems to make Old Man Wrestling Twitter blow up at least once a year.  The Briscoes are toothless hillbillies from rural Delaware.

This is probably gonna be a clusterfuck of a ten-man tag, and I think that favors the Bullet Club.  The Bucks always seem to win unless there’s a good reason not to, and I don’t see a good reason here.