#every writer I've ever known gets it from time to time

[tavina-writes]

Have you any suggestions for someone who has started recently (few months ago) to publish fics on ao3 and doesn't get a lot of hits/kudos? I feel a little down and insecure, and I don't know if it's my writing the problem or the fact that the pair is not the main and not liked much

Hi Nonny!

This is a difficult conflict to have with yourself, and I'm sure that like, you've seen all the posts about how like "you should be self indulgent! you should write for yourself! who cares about engagement!" and this both is and isn't true. But also even if you think it is true and you'd like to get some of that energy it's very difficult and for that sending you so many hugs. It is very normal to feel insecure about sharing something you've made, and I think writers of all levels of experience and "engagement" feel down about themselves like this in cycles.

idk if I'm qualified to say a ton on this topic, but I've seen lots of "unhealthy relationship to stats page" and could tell real stories about horrible things that have happened so I guess here goes nothing?

A few things to keep in mind:

what do you consider "not a lot" ? 10? 100? 1000? One of the major problems of focusing overtly on hits/kudos/comments/and other things you can't change is that inevitably if you achieve the "number of your dreams" you will....get a new number that you want. It will be bigger. Chasing this type of external numbers based validation to the exclusion of other stuff is very difficult because it is one of those sliding slope black holes to never being satisfied with what is currently going on. This is my primary thought on why focusing on stats isn't very good: it's very easy to get into a never ending cycle of never being happy.

as someone who's written for several years: we're coming up on the winter holidays, end of the semester, winter break type time period in many parts of the world but esp for northern hemisphere english speaking fandom, so if you're seeing a decrease in hits/kudos/comments/the feeling that someone out there is reading your work in general, this could play a big role. If you've only been publishing for the last few months the first time this happens can be really jarring! But it has nothing to do with the quality of your writing or if people are interested in reading and everything to do with brickspace taking up a lot of time right now. (I imagine this might also be true for Chinese speaking fandom around New Years, but I can't say since I don't engage there very often to notice trends.)

Depending on the fandom, (which, unless you, like me, are into Naruto which seems to thrive on niche AUs from now until forever), main pairings/fandom popular juggernauts will always get more people reading than a rarepair. That doesn't mean the people who write for rarepairs are doing a bad job or that writing for a rarepair isn't rewarding to the writer in other ways, but that may mean modulating expectations on like "how many people will click on my work?" and "how much feedback will I get?"

So overall, I feel like there's a combination of factors here for why you might be feeling down, but there are ways to help with this!

For one: talking about your writing and your work and what you're doing! This, I've found, is a great way to make friends. (also to anyone who says that this is obnoxious and attention seeking, this is the attention seeking webbed site, if you don't want attention why are you here????)

For two: locate friends and yell your thoughts at them <- I have found this to be 100% a mood picker upper when it comes to "am I doing a good job at writing?"

For three: find what makes you really happy about your own writing! This doesn't mean that you have to seek to improve your writing, but just, stuff that you enjoy, a line you really like, a relationship you enjoyed, a fic you thought was nice, and be kind to yourself about it.

Again, sending you hugs nonny! I hope some of this helps!

[docholligay]

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[ponderingmoonlight]

hi lovely ! you asked for kny requests and i've just finished my kny volume 22 re-read, so thats perfect timing 💙

I was wondering if you could write something with Yoriichi — (tw for potential child loss)

Maybe a hurt/comfort fic where his pregnant wife actually survives the demon attack while he's away (but maybe she gets quite badly injured and their unborn child doesn't make it, if you want to add a little extra angst to it. If not then that's totally fine, this man deserves a happy ending after all 🥺)

Of course, you're the writer — feel free to take any creative direction you'd like or ignore this request if you're not comfortable with it. Have a lovely day/night! <3

Again, I'm beyond sorry you were forced to wait for this so long! But here you go honey, let me know what you think <3

Yoriichi saving his pregnant wife and unborn child just in time

Pairing: Yoriichi x pregnant!wife!reader

Word Count: 4,2k

Synopsis: You never expected to face a demon ever again, especially not when you are about to deliver your child while your beloved husband Yoriichi is in search for a midwife. Will you and your child be alright? Will your husband make it back on time?

Warnings: injury, horror, child birth, tortue, description of death, extreme angst to fluff, last part is not proofread

Notes: Since the first Yoriichi fic I wrote, I'm so deeply in love with his character that I adore writing him so much! Since this fic took a while, I would totally appreciate your support through liking, commenting and reblogging this fic - thank's a lot babes <3

He can’t get enough from simply looking at you. You with your head in the clouds, you with your hand mindlessly roaming around the soft grass underneath, the other one caressing your heavy pregnant belly, you when you give him those surprised eyes as soon as you notice his presence.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware that you’re already here”, you say in a small panicky voice.

You didn’t expect your beloved husband back this soon. If you would have known that he’ll be here by know you would have cleaned the whole house, made him something to eat and-

“I can only imagine what is going on inside your head again.”

His soft but at the same time rough hand touches your cheek gently, the loving gleam in his fuchsia eyes making you blush in an instant. All the voices in your head stop right in their track when he’s around.

Yoriichi Tsugikuni. Your savior, your best friend. And most importantly, your husband and father of your future child.

“How are you feeling, love? Did you enjoy your afternoon?”, he questions, eyes wandering down your body to your swollen belly.

It was hard leaving you alone in a state like this, but he wasn’t able to resist the urgent call from last night. He might be nothing but another simple man holding a sword, but it is his responsibility to save those who are in need. What else is he able to give to this world?

His hand lands on your belly, feels the tiniest kick of his unborn child against the palm of his hand. At least he was able to create a smaller version of you. Is it a boy, a girl maybe?

“I hope our child is a reflection of you”, he finally mutters into the silence, a small but somehow sad smile forming itself on his lips.

You suddenly forget how to breathe, glossy eyes fixated on his captivating sight. Oh, oh much you hate the stinging fact that your husband thinks so negatively about himself. Why can’t he see all the heroic things he has done so far, how respected he is in the demon slayer corps? Why can’t he see that every inch of his body is flawless? Out of instinct, you let your head rest against his broad chest, breathe in his strong scent. If you could only stay like this here forever, his hand resting against your body while the sun tickles your skin-

A violent moan escapes your lips when a sharp pain runs through your stomach. A kick. A really rough kick, to be exact.

“Are you alright, love? Did something hurt you? Is it the baby?”, your husband asks feverishly, his usual neutral face garbled by worry lines on his forehead.

“Just a kick”, you press out, still fighting to regain your composure.

“I will search for a mid-wife, (y/n).”

His words make your eyes widen in an instant, a wave of fear crushing down on you. Is it really time already? You look down at your swollen belly, so big that you aren’t even able to sit down properly anymore. This has to be the ninth month of your pregnancy.

Your heart sinks. The ninth month. If the books you’ve read are accurate, it really is time.

“I can’t do this, Yoriichi.”

Thick panic runs through your veins, forces your heart almost out of your chest. You aren’t ready to deliver a child, let alone to be a mother. All the things you haven’t read yet, the things you’ve probably never heard of…What if you mess it up? Until you met Yoriichi, all you were able to do was trying to survive. Your mother never had the chance to tell you about those things, isn’t here anymore to stay by your side.

You are…on your own.

“Look at me, (y/n). I will go out and search for a mid-wife and I’ll be back at sunset, you hear me? Just stay inside the house and nothing will happen. I promise to return as early as possible.”

Fuchsia eyes that radiate through your soul immediately. An angelic voice that calms down your tingling nerves with only four sentences. Strong arms that lift you off the ground and lead you back into the warmth of your home.

But know, it’s not the wooden cabin that feels like home. Your eyes wander to the neutral expression he wears on his face, only betrayed by a worried glow in his orbs. It’s him, your beloved husband.

“Are you feeling alright, love?”

You take a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Eyes focused exclusively on him until your mind finally silences. It’s just you and him. You and your beloved husband, the man you would trust with your life without battling an eyelid, the man who made you the person you are today.

“I do”, you breathe out.

Your heartbeat tames down as well as the kicks of your unborn baby, Yoriichi’s hands keeping you from falling over.

“Promise me to lock the doors and wait in bed until I return, (y/n).”

A seriousness you only know from him when he is forced to leave at night veils his calm eyes.

“But…you will be back before the sun sinks, right?”

He gifts you a small smile, hand caressing your cheek so gently that you almost forget about the worry lines decorating his face. The truth is that the next midwife lives miles away. Even if he gets to the village as soon as possible, the sun will be about to set when he returns. Yoriichi can’t help but clench his other hand into a fist next to your stomach. The sheer thought of not making it in time, that you’ll be defenceless.

“Don’t worry, love. Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

But he cannot allow himself to fail you, to leave you alone in those oh so merciless nights. He will return, no matter what it costs.

He presses a soft kiss against your forehead before grabbing his sword tightly.

This. This is his fate, his family. You are his whole life.

And he’ll do everything to protect you.

-later that evening-

You are exhausted. Over the last few hours, your body was haunted by waves of pain coming and going like the seasons. Again, you dig your nail into the wooden floor, your heavy breaths hanging in the thick air. You definitely don’t need a midwife to tell you it’s time. Yes, your baby is on its way.

And your husband didn’t return yet.

Your glossy eyes dart towards the window, witness how the sky outside turns bright red in the down-going sun. Is Yoriichi alright? You know how cruel life can be. Maybe he met a person who needed to be saved on his way, maybe the midwife is too old to rush to your side in time.

“Rest your eyes and be assured that I’ll return as soon as possible.”

Those words. Even though he’s not yet by your side, you are able to feel his powerful presence around you, how he calms down your aching heart.

“Everything will turn out alright”, you mutter to yourself while caressing your tummy.

“Everything will be alight…”

You allow your lids to rest, body relaxing for the first time since your husband left. You will get through this, you will deliver your wonderful child tonight. A tiny bundle of joy, an image of its father. Is it a boy, a girl? As long as your child is healthy, you couldn’t care less.

Carefully, you curl up on your futon, snuggle yourself into the blanket that still holds his scent. Maybe you’ll be able to catch a few hours of sleep until he finally comes back. Sleep sure does sound very appealing at the moment.

But just when your breath begins to steady, a violent scratch forces you to sit straight up. It came from outside, without a doubt. Is it an animal, is it…

Your throat gets tight immediately, glossy eyes staring at the closed window in sheer horror. The trees bend back and forth peacefully in what looks like a tender night. But that scratch, it sounded exactly like claws digging into hard wood, sent shivers down your spine immediately. You know that sound all too well, experienced what it means to get slaughtered by a demon before. Just before your whole family died violently, this was exactly what you’ve heard.

Out of instinct, you bury yourself into the corner of the room, the blanket that holds Yoriichi’s scent still pressed against your now shivering body tightly. Please, let it be nothing but a wild animal, let your husband come back home soon. Maybe this is nothing but a nightmare and you’ll wake up any given minute-

A violent pain runs through your body so suddenly that a shriek escapes your lips. Suddenly all air escapes your lungs, the way your belly cramps making you see start. No, you know exactly what this means, that this is not the right time to deliver a baby. Isn’t there anything you can do to stop this? You still need to wait for your husband, the midwife, for this gut-turning feeling to vanish. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, sharp and fast breaths hanging in the thick atmosphere.

But it doesn’t stop there. As if this wasn’t enough already, you can only stare at the door that gets opened painfully slow, claws digging into the wooden frame.

Without any doubt, this is a demon.

You press your sweaty palm against your mouth, force yourself to stop screaming, to stop breathing.

“I know you’re here, human. You smell like a…woman.”

It’s like all life is drained from the dead shell of your body, widened orbs staring at the frightful creature that makes its way into your home. Get up, fight, defend yourself like you saw Yoriichi do countless times, use the knowledge you gained from him.

But you don’t move an inch, don’t dare to look away. For a brief moment, time seems to stand still. Out of all the nights you’ve spent together with your husband, this is the first away from him, the first without his protection. Is all of this a dream, a hallucination to test your nerves?

The second the monster’s deadly red orbs meet yours, you get hit by reality. No, this isn’t a dream.

This will be your death.

“I knew you were here, lady. Let me help you up, okay?”

“N-no. Please d-don’t”, you whimper under your breath.

Your coward of a body doesn’t even fight back when he lifts you off the ground with ease, his nails digging into your soft flesh.

“Oh, you’re expecting a baby, don’t you? Well, does this count as a double kill, then?”

Your baby getting killed? If that thing ends your life, it means your unborn child will never experience dawn, will never get to see the face of its father, will never take in his scent. Your glossy eyes widen in sheer horror, tears now streaming down your face like waterfalls when a single frown form on your forehead.

You couldn’t care less about your own life. After all, you were lucky that Yoriichi saved you back then, didn’t even deserve to survive when your whole family had to die before you. But that oh so innocent child that might have the eyes of its father, the blessing of your life right after your husband. That innocent life cannot be taken.  

There is no way you will let this creature lay hands on it.

Your body reacts faster than your mind. With a surprisingly well-placed kick, you free yourself out of the monster’s casual grip. You need to get out of the house, out where you are able to find shelter, to run away. Your lungs feel like bursting any given minute, legs trembling underneath the weight of yourself and the unborn baby you still carry right under your heart. Even if it means you’ll die in vain, even if you won’t be able to see Yoriichi’s tender eyes ever again, you have to make sure your child is safe.

“I underestimated you, stupid woman. As it seems you didn’t give up on life yet”, the creature purrs what feels like right next to you.

A new nauseous wave of panic rises up your veins, makes you sprint even faster through the thick woods that surround your house. This has always been your favorite place to be. The calm trees waving back and forth in a soft breeze, your husband right by your side-

Your husband. Just the thought of never getting to see him again makes your heart ache. You didn’t even get the chance to thank him one last time, to let him know how much he truly means to you, that he’s way more than the man who saved your life back then.

He’s everything you ever wanted, everything you ever needed.

A sharp pain that radiates through your lower body sends you straight onto the ground immediately, figure cramping so violently that you can’t catch your breath. No, this is not the time labor, not when a demon is this close.

“Oh, there you are. Did you really think you can run away like that? You, a little human? You made me so man that I will kill you as painfully slow as possible.”

You try to lift your trembling figure off the ground, try to get back onto your feet, to sprint down the forest you know so well. But just when you’re about to get back onto your knees, a stinging pain in your right thigh paired with a contraction sends you straight back.

A violent scream escapes your lips.

Red. Everything around you is discoloured red. Is this your blood? Did this thing kill you already, are you going to die? Despite the way your guts start to turn when you follow the trail of blood, you can’t look away. And there it is indeed, a gaping hole in your leg, throbbing and bleeding.

All color that is left now drains from your face. With an injured leg, your chance to escape this demon’s claws is non-existent. Which means…

Your heart skips a beat, threatens to fail you any given second. What about your unborn child? A violent storm of anger and determination clouds your mind, makes all logical thoughts vanish into thin air.

“You can’t kill me”, you press out.

Since the day you first laid eyes on a demon, you accepted your own death. Your life is worthless anyway, compared to great warriors like your husband himself. But that oh so innocent child, that tiny life you were given to. You ball your hands into fists so tight your knuckles stand out white and lift your throbbing self off the ground. You cannot allow a demon to take the life of that unborn baby.

“I won’t allow you to touch me.”

You realize the stupidity of your words after they spill out of your mouth in rage. You, not allowing a demon to touch your puny figure? Another contraction makes your guts turn and vision almost go black.

As expected the frightful creature draws closer, its unpromising pair of razor-sharp teeth glittering in the dim moonlight. You never expected to see a demon this close again. Oh, how much you hoped you’d never find yourself in that situation again. But you have to get through this, have to make sure you will survive long enough for the mid wife to deliver your child to this world.

His child.

“I’m sorry Yoriichi. I never planned on leaving you alone like this”, you mumble to yourself, shaky lips tinted in salty tears.

“But this all I’m able to do.”

-Yoriichi’s POV-

Something seems off. Is it the way the trees bent back and forth in the soft breeze of the already set sun? Is it that distant smell that hangs in the air, the one that reminds him of fresh blood and lavender?

“We must make haste. I can sense that danger is ahead of us”, he speaks out with firm voice.

He promised you that he’ll be back before the sun goes down, that he will make it on time before demon are able to roam around freely. Are you feeling alright? Is the pain unbearable at this point? Do you still hold trust for him in your heart? His footsteps pick up instinctively, eyes set on the visibly stressed man behind him. In contrary to most people, Yoriichi doesn’t fear the night or the demons it brings. The only thing he fears at the moment is what you have to endure without your husband by your side.

With every he takes forward, the stinging smell of blood mixed with lavender becomes more urgent in his nose.

Lavender.

He always wondered how you did it. Even after washing, all your clothes kept that calming scent that surrounded you as if you were standing in a lavender bush. A smell so sweet that it caught his interest back then before he caught a glimpse of your fascinating orbs, a smell that always reminds him of home. Yoriichi’s home will always be where you are, where the sensation of lavender is the strongest.

Lavender, the stinging smell of blood that hangs in the air. His eyes widen when his mind starts to race. The smell, it radiates from the direction of your shared home, from the direction that usually fills him with excitement. Can it be…?

His heart starts racing uncontrollably while he dashes forward and draws his sword. Let it be nothing but coincidence, a cruel joke his thoughts play on him. But the stinging fragrance of lavender mixed with iron fills his heart with dread, makes his mind go numb. What if you got attacked by a demon, what if you are in great danger? All because he didn’t live up to his promise, because he didn’t make it on time. His eyes roam around the dark area, desperately searching for a sign.

And then his eyes find you.

Yoriichi’s heart stops.

There you lay, leaning against a nearby tree with a puddle of blood surrounding you, widened eyes starring straight into the face of a demon who hollers above you.

“No one is coming to save you, stupid girl.”

He doesn’t waste another second. With a swift motion of his sharp blade, Yoriichi beheads the demon on top of you while a toe-curling scream escapes your lips. Just one look at your sliced-up kimono reveals countless injuries, especially a gaping hole in your thigh. You hold onto your swollen belly for what looks like dear life, eyes still widened in nothing but shock.

“(y/n)”, he gently speaks out while letting himself fall down next to you.

You have to blink a few times. The demon, it was just about to dig its sharp teeth into your sensitive skin, to take the life of your unborn child in front of your eyes.

Maroon.

But those aren’t the deadly red orbs. No, those oh so gorgeous eyes look so familiar that your heart tames down in an instant. Could it really be, is it possible that it’s…him?

“Yoriichi.”

You breathe his name into the night like a prayer.

Maybe this is nothing but an illusion, a cruel trick your own brain plays on you.

“Words can’t express how sorry I am for arriving too late. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone this long, for causing this to happen”, his oh so familiar voice blurts out.

Yoriichi’s usual so composed face twists in sheer agony, eyes filling with salty tears. All of this is his fault. He should have arrived sooner, he should have made hurry, he-

“We didn’t come this far to worry now. Please, help be delivering this child, let it all make sense”, you press out while grabbing his hand tightly.

It doesn’t matter that you’re severely injured, it doesn’t matter that your beloved husband took longer than expected to come back to you. All that matters now are you, him and your unborn child that waits to be delivered.

“Allow me to assist you.”

A foreign man suddenly speaks out with sweat dripping from his forehead in waterfalls. Just when another wave of nauseous pain hits you with full force, as if you got kicked into your stomach by a horse. You fail to breathe for a second, hands holding onto your husband for dear life.

“You are already close, it won’t be long now”, the man reassures you while gently opening your legs.

“You can do it, (y/n). After all the things you had to endure today, you will be able to get through this. With me by your side. I love you more than any words could ever say, darling.”

One more push.

One more wave of pain before your body goes numb, before you lose the ability to feel anything except for sweet nothingness.

Until a loud shriek finds its way to your ear.

A violent scream, almost frustrating. When you open your eyes again, you are greeted by a crying but alive bundle of joy, carefully wrapped into a white cloth and placed onto the arm of its father.

Those eyes.

“I prayed every night that he would have your eyes”, you whimper with tears running down your cheek uncontrollably.

You did it. You saved your beloved child who looks just like its father, you managed to somehow stay alive.

“She”, the midwife corrects you gently.

“She…”, you mumble with a small smile.

The last thing you see are the troubled maroon eyes of your husband before your world goes dark.

-the next day-

A foreign but still so familiar laughter fills the atmosphere around you with joy while you see nothing but black. When your stubborn lids finally open, you are greeted by the wooden ceiling you know so well. This is your home, without any doubt.

The home a demon invaded.

The home where you feared for your life while your husband rushed to the midwife in order to deliver your child.

Your child.

You get up way too quickly, glossy eyes darting around the room without a real aim. Is your baby okay? What happened after the delivery? All you can remember are those familiar maroon eyes that looked so much like the orbs of your beloved husband. Your husband…Where is Yoriichi?

“Don’t move too quickly, love. The doctor strictly forbids you to be in a haste”, his gentle voice speaks out next to you.

Just a few moments later, you get invited by the warmth of his arms swallowing you whole. Out of instinct, you let yourself fall against him, press your very own body into his despite the scorching pain that immediately takes over your whole self.

Right, you were attacked by a demon the night you gave birth. How did you manage to escape? Are your injuries critical.

But most important: How is your baby?

“Look what you have accomplished. A little wonder. Just like you, my love”, your husband murmurs, carefully lifting a little bundle off a blanket nearby.

Your heart nearly stops when you catch a glimpse of her. Those maroon eyes are the last thing you remember before everything goes black. With shaky hands, you start caressing her puffy cheek. This. This is what you fought for, what makes it all worth it in the end.

“She has your eyes”, you hush, tears now streaming down your face in waterfalls.

“And your hair”, Yoriichi replies with a soft smile towards you.

“(y/n), I promise I’ll do anything in my power to protect you and her from something like this. I promise I will stand by your side no matter what. And I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me the most.”

The second your husband’s voice cracks, you can’t hold onto yourself any longer. You wrap your arms around him and your daughter longingly, take in the scent who gave you strength that night.

“There is nothing to forgive and nothing to feel sorry about. You did your very best and that is all that matters. I love you, Yoriichi. And I have to thank you for saving both of us just in time.”

“You are my greatest treasure on earth”, he mumbles against your lips while giving you a passionate kiss.

What a plot twist, what a happy end after all. Yesterday you were sure your life is over, that you won’t live onto the next day. And now you’re lying in your house, holding your giggling daughter while pressing your heavy head against your husband’s broad chest.

“Well, I fear I will have to share this special place by now”, you comment while gazing at your perfect little daughter.

“This might be true, love.”

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @kayleegomez @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san

[mywritersmind]

SAVIOR - LN4

pt.2

summary : Y/n’s favorite place has quickly become her and Lando’s shared hallway. They grow closer and finally make it to the fresh air.

OG SUMMARY (When y/n’s absent neighbor shows up, causing her great annoyance with smoke and repetitive beeping, she marches over to tell the man off but is met with a handsome face and strong hands that are in distress.)

listen up : no warnings!! y/n is clueless abt f1. lando is silly. i’m craving strawberries now.

word count : 1878

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I haul my five grocery bags into the elevator, struggling to keep them all off the ground. I sigh when I finally still in the metal box, i’ve carried these at least two blocks and one had broken on the way.

The doors are about to close but a hand slides in between them, making them automatically open for him.

Hello my hot mysterious neighbor.

He looks relieved he made it, “Y/n!” He says cheerfully, like we’ve known each other for ages. It’s been a couple weeks since I slammed on his door and stomped through his kitchen.

The other side of the hallway had been quiet until last night when I heard keys rattling and the door opening. I can’t help but wonder what he does that keeps him from home so often.

“Lando, Hi!” I smile back as he slides beside me and presses our floor.

“You need help?” He eyes the bags as I bite my lip, not wanting to bother him. I don’t have the time to respond because he takes three bags out of my hands like it’s nothing.

“Thank you.” I sigh, “I’ve been struggling for like two blocks.” He laughs a bit with me as the numbers get higher and higher.

“I’m happy to help.” We finally reach our floor, Lando watches me go first and walk to my door, unlocking it and walking in.

Lando follows hesitantly, like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed.

“Thank you again! I put myself in a bit of a bind when I decided that my friends need fifteen types of salami and cheese.” I place the bags on the counter, Lando following.

I push back my hair and suddenly wish I had cleaned up a bit more. My friends are coming over tonight and I had decided to push back my cleaning. Looking around at the clothes and old popcorn bowls scattered around makes me want to slap myself.

“Really, I like to lend a hand! I never get to be neighborly.” He shrugs.

“What do you do for work? If you don’t mind me asking?” I start placing the cold items in the freezer.

He leans against the counter, his arms holding him up and looking alarmingly fit, “Uh… You ever follow Formula 1?”

I nod, “Kinda? I used to love it!” My mom and I would watch every sunday but I stopped in college so I don’t know any of the current grid, “So you work in the sport! That’s cool, pretty hands on?” I ask as he laughs a bit, looking awkward.

“Yeah, I work with the cars.” He looks around my place a bit, “So, why does one need this much food? I’m judging or anything it’s just… You don’t seem like the type to need a jumbo sized pretzel bag.”

I smile and snatch the bag from him, “I could definitely eat all of this by the way! But I'm having a bit of a party tonight. If anything’s too loud just let me know! It’s just old friends from college- actually.” I look up at him, a boost of confidence appearing in me, “You could join us. If you’re not busy.”

It suddenly sounds like a ridiculously stupid idea. I turn back to the fridge, placing a bottle of lemonade in it and cringing.

“I would love to.” I let out a sigh of relief, “But I've got plans…” I frown and turn back to him, finally putting away the last of my groceries.

“Aw.”

“It’s really nice of you to invite me.” I smile, a bit sad and confused why I'm disappointed. I mean I barely know the man. “What do you do for work?”

I lean against the counter so I'm across from him, “I’m a writer. Journalism right now but I really want to take a more bookish route…”

He genuinely looks so intrigued, more interested than anyone else who I've told I write articles about neighborhood drama.

He checks his watch, which I'm now realizing is incredibly expensive, and swears, “I gotta go. Have fun with your party tonight.”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I definitely do have fun. My friends and I eat, drink, and play board games just like we’re back in dorms. I’m seeing my last and closest friend off when Lando comes up the hallway, As my friend's eyes go wide when she sees him, I shake my head.

“Goodbye!” I push her out of my apartment, “Love you!”

“Yeah love you too! Text me!” She walks past Lando, nodding at him before she turns behind his back and mouths ‘he’s hot’.

I roll my eyes at her, a smile still on my face as Lando looks at me. He’s in a full suit, holding his blazer in his hand.

“Fun time then?” God he’s hot!

“Absolutely!” I giggle, a bit tipsy, “How about you then?” I eye his suit.

“As good as I could make it.”

I slap my hand over my mouth, “God you aren’t coming from a funeral then, are you?”

He laughs at this, “No! No. A work banquet thing.”

I giggle a bit as he turns to his door, “Hey!” I say without thinking, “Would you want to come in? I have wine.”

He’s sitting on my couch thirty minutes later, a glass deep and talking about where he’s traveled too.

“That’s my dream!” I say, my feet tucked under myself as I tilt my head on the couch cushions, “Traveling. I mean- You’ve been everywhere!”

He shrugs, sipping his wine, his tie undone and shoes off, “It’s amazing but I'm not there for long so I don’t usually get to sightsee much. Honestly the most interesting thing that’s happened to me recently is this pretty girl came to save my baking disaster.”

I hum to his words, blushing a bit, “Sounds like a hero if i’ve ever heard one.” We both go silent, taking pieces of my leftover charcuterie board. “Should I start watching F1?”

“No!” He says it so quick that i’m taken aback.

“No?”

He laughs a bit, shaking it off, “It’s boring. I can’t have someone else in my life talk about it.”

I spin my wine around in the glass, “So I'm someone in your life now?”

He smirks, “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

I pretend to contemplate this, “I’ve never had a friend who hasn’t gone to the strawberry market with me.”

He makes an odd face, “So we must go then.”

I sigh, “If you want to be my friend…”

The corner of his mouth pulls, “Tomorrow at 9?”

⋆｡‧˚⋆

He’s at my door at 9:12. Thank god he’s late because I hop over to the door, pulling on my shoe and pulling down my jean skirt.

I open the door and stand up straight, smiling breathlessly. He, of course, looks perfect in jeans and an olive green shirt, “Morning.”

“Ready to taste the best strawberries you’ve ever had?” I grab my bag and keys.

“So ready.”

We make it to the market just on time. It’s my favorite neighborhood gem. Every Sunday people gather with strawberries. There are big and small, some covered in chocolate and some in honey.

I buy a box of chocolate ones, well Lando does. He insists that he still owes me. Handing one to Lando with an extra fork, he bites into it, his eyes roll, “Fucking hell.” I nod, excited that he likes them as much as I do.

“My favorite treat! Something you can’t burn your house down with.” I eye him and he eyes me right back. Being with Lando is like a breath of fresh air. I’ve never been so confident in my social skills.

He laughs with a shop owner as he buys his pack of plain strawberries. He's so nice and just listens politely as the woman goes on and on about her childhood on a strawberry farm.

He gives her a bigger bill than necessary and as she insists it’s too much, he just shakes his head and continues walking.

We settle at a park bench nearby, tasting all the pieces we’ve bought, “This is genuinely phenomenal.” He says while eating another, “How’d you find this place?”

“Had to write about something local and had total writers block… I was walking around one day and just sort of stumbled upon it.”

He smiles, I really like this smile. “You seem like the type to just stumble upon a strawberry market.”

I laugh, covering my mouth, “What does that even mean?”

“You’re just so…” His hands make these weird gestures, his fingers moving around as he laughs and gives up, “It just fits.”

I smile, meeting his eyes. They're so nice, a mix of blue and green. His gaze washes over me and I feel the need to smile even more.

“You’ve got nice eyes.” My stomach twists as he says it so calmly, “Real pretty.” I feel a blush on my cheeks and I turn away from him, looking at the park near us and being startled by the child looking up at us.

Lando follows my gaze, mumbling softly, “Shit.”

“Hi.” The kid says awestruck, I look to Lando who’s smiling and sitting up straighter. “Um- Are you Lando Norris?”

Lando scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah I am! What's your name?”

“W-William!” He says, swallowing and pulling a pen from behind his back, “Could you sign this?” I glance to what looks like his mother, she’s watching him with a smile.

Lando simply nods and takes the cap from his head, its bright orange. He signs his name and messes up the kid's hair, “Thanks a lot! My friends’ll never believe it!” The boy squeals and runs back to his mom who waves slightly and takes the boy's hand.

I raise a brow at Lando, still confused, “I’m sorry…” He looks embarrassed but I don’t even know what for.

“I’m going to assume you didn’t tell me the whole truth in what your job is?”

His cheeks get a bit red, “I do work with the cars… Just really close. Like I’m in them. One specifically.”

I nod, “Yours?”

“Mine.” He crosses his arms, his lips in a thin line, “I drive for McLaren.” I breathe out.

“Oh.” I can’t help but think I have a type because I grew up with Jenson Button posters on my wall.

He runs a hand through his curls, “I don’t usually get recognized around here- Thought we would be okay.”

“We are okay!” I reassure him, realizing he’s actually embarrassed, “That was sweet.”

He looks up hopefully, “You think? I’m sorry for lying- I just really liked that you didn’t know who I am or what I do.”

“Well, I sort of still don't. I know your full name now, that’s about it.” He smiles at this, I bite into another strawberry.

“Do you want to go out with me?”

He is yet to say something I'm not shocked at.

“Yeah.” I nod, smiling at him as he grins, “I’d really like that. Don’t you have to race soon though…? Singapore, isn’t it?”

The smirk that pulls at his lips is just plain mischievous, “I never said the date would be here.”

[hihimissamericanbi]

FAVE HP SMUT CREATORS

Ever since I got that lovely anon asking for the best smut I've ever read, it got me thinking about some of my favorite smut creators in general.

So here is a very non-exhaustive list of fan-fucking-tastic smut writers and artists I've come across in the HP fandom that weren't mentioned (shamefully) in my last batch. Feel free to add to the list! We must keep the people fed.

xoxo go take a sip of cold water girl

WRITERS

@spookymoonie

Lord Espooky came into this fandom guns a-blazing with their kink headcanon a day for Wolfstar and it has spiraled from there. They GET IT. He has a super well-organized masterlist pinned to his tumblr ft tons of different kinks, fic lengths, scenes, etc. Go. Now.

@fiveht

The definition of IYKYK. Daddy kink isn't super my thing, but Five makes me enjoy it. If you vibe with age gap daddy Remus and pretty boy Sirius, their Adore series is a must-read. They also have a stellar A/B/O Wolfstar fic plus podfic and write some Marvel too!

@greenvlvetcouch

An absolute legend in this fandom. Wolfstar, Jeggy, Rosekiller. Gritty, chewy, embodied sex.

@emeryhall

Emery writes sex the way some people breathe. Like it's just part of the narrative. It's SO punchy. And also she is the queen of Crack Smut.

@kaaaaaaarf

Patron saint of Wolfstar hatefucks. mic drop.

@cancerravenclaw

We snagged MK over to Wolfstar from the clutches of Dramione. Her series "mk's kink exposé" could also be called "celine's kink exposé." I'll just leave that there.

@wolfpants

Everything they create is magic, but they are especially known for rare pairs and Dronarry.

WRITERS AND ARTISTS

@aspiring-artist-em

The queen of Lesbian Wolfstar. Both art and fic. Also queen of humiliation and pain kink and Walburga psychological trauma. ye be warned.

@upthehillnsfw / @upthehillart

I am afraid no one is ready for this art. Truly. Tons of different ships, positions, acts. I gasp every time. And their Pansmione fic is epic (which I have talked about before).

ARTISTS

@industrations

I highly recommend getting on Indi's Patreon so you can enjoy their NSFW drawings, mostly Wolfstar and Jegulus, occasional Rosekiller. Too many iconic moments to count.

@waxingrunes

The officially-sponsored artist of Five's Adore series. Look, their work is nothing short of indulgent. Shhhh don't worry about the physics just let it happen. And by It I mean Remus' big dick hands.

@basiatlu

By beloved. The one. The only. Bosh's drawings are so ALIVE. They leap off the screen. Her Drarry is nothing less than iconic. She also dabbles in other characters/ships like Wolfstar and Blackcest. Siriusly, you can't go wrong.

DRARRY SMUT

OKAY, Drarry people. There are so so many excellent Drarry smut writers it is impossible to name them all. Here are but a tiny handful I have pulled from my bookmarks. I'm happy to rec specific fics if asked :)

@cavendishbutterfly, @bixgirl1, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @shiftylinguini, @kbrick, @fluxweeed, @academicdisasterfic

MORE

I'm tagging those other creators from older asks because I can't put this list out there without them on it <3

@crushofdoves @we-are-swearwolves @tenthousandyearsx @theresthesnitch @lqtraintracks Quietlemonhush @cuddlebugsirius

[bigskydreaming]

Every Nightwing writer of the last fifteen years: I've taken the guy famous for being regarded as one of the most competent and capable nonsuperhuman heroes of his generation, literally legendary for being one of the only ones every single other hero would not only drop everything to go help but that also pretty much every hero would love to have on speed dial to get HIS help in most any situation ever, and I've either completely isolated him and estranged him from every single member of his family and community, or I've enmeshed him so thoroughly with his family and community to the extent that literally none of the stories in his solo title would be capable of existing without their presences, they're that fundamental to the arcs and more integral to the solutions than he is himself. But why stop there?

I've ALSO taken the guy famous for personally crafting his two most iconic superhero identities, Robin and Nightwing, with the first being made so fundamental and integral to the superhero landscape by him, it became one of the most iconic legacy mantles in the DC Universe. And the second being so larger than life and associated with safety and security and meaning so much to so many people that even complete strangers can not fathom a world without Nightwing anymore and rush to fill the void any time he's not around, the figure of Nightwing is considered that ESSENTIAL. And I've stripped him of his basic sense of identity and autonomy either as a literally faceless and nameless spy or a literally masked and nameless Talon or else taken away his memories or blah blah blah in myriad other ways made it impossible for him to BE the figure who famously turned his sense of identity into not one but two separate icons forever stamped onto the superhero landscape and leaving their marks in untold ways, because what is the guy famous for his sense of identity without....his sense of identity? Just a guy!

Haha! I've done it! I've deconstructed Dick Grayson!

Me: You literally the fuck have not. That is not how deconstruction works. NONE of this is how any of that works. You sound so dumb right now. What did you accomplish, what was any of it for. What insights did it deliver, what did it reveal that was previously unknown about Dick Grayson when he was in the costume or possessed of his usual skillsets that couldn't be known until all of that was stripped away from him? How was he changed by any of these experiences or was he just reset to his default mode at the end of each one and then shoehorned into the next contortion before any actual reflection upon or development from all the preceding events was made possible? What do we know about Dick Grayson, what is new about him, what essential Dick Grayson-isms have been woven into the character due to your work, or did you simply change the set dressings over and over while repeating the same beats and intoning, Huzzah, A Dramatic Transformation Happens Before Your Very Eyes!

Every Nightwing writer of the last fifteen years: No, see, I don't think you get it. My work was transformative. I proved that if you take away Dick Grayson's friends, his superhero speed dial, his memories, his acrobatics, his name, his agency, his literal everything that makes him who he is.....he's just some guy. All those things are what define him! That's who Dick Grayson is!

Me: Right. The friends and colleagues who would all drop everything to help him or pick him as their first choice to Phone A Friend when in crisis because....he's Dick Grayson. His memories of....being Dick Grayson. The acrobatics that are synonymous with....Dick Grayson. The agency that famously lets him rebuild a sense of self and formidable will no matter how many times he's been brainwashed or mentally fucked with because at his core, below the surface of all those manipulations he remains....Dick Grayson. His literal everything that made Robin and Nightwing who and what they came to be known for....because of what he, Dick Grayson, imbued those mantles with to make them iconic in the first place. Yup. You really nailed it. At the end of the day he really is....just some guy. Your insights are just stunning. Incomparable. The stuff of legends. Gosh we'll miss your work but it'll definitely forever be remembered in the Writing Hall Of Fame for being absolutely fundamental to the characterization of.....Just Some Guy, I guess?

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day one: daddy kink

>>> welcome to the start of kinktober 2023 with ya girl, kylee. i'm so excited to participate this year, with the following that i have, the friends i've made, and the stories we've all worked on so far. i'm so proud of every writer putting in that work this month!

>>> starring: kento nanami x curvy!fem!reader >>> cw: daddy kink-obviously-breeding kink, choking, clit stimulation, marking/ biting mention. creampie, nanami is such a whipped man it's borderline concerning, luv him 5ever >>>wc: 1.6k >>> event masterlist

the air was thick with the scent of sex and sweat, making you gasp out and struggle for breath. or it was due to the thick hand wrapped around your neck, strong and steady against your jumping pulse. he wasn’t like this often, so pent up with need and frustration that kento can’t help but rut into you like he was told he’d never get the chance to again.  his tanned chest heaves with breath, beads of sweat running in and out of the divots of his body. he looks so stunning like this, the honey blond tresses that you love to tug on so much sprawl in every direction, brown eyes zeroed in on every tick of your brow or ‘o’ of your mouth. his gaze was intense, and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn’t. not with his hand on your throat and every ounce of passion in his body driving into your cunt as hard as he can slam in. 

“you take me so well, darling.” he coos, pulling his hand from your neck in favor of pushing your thighs to your chest. he wanted to get a better angle, smiling to himself with a genuine pride as he watches your pretty pink hole swallow his fat cock, silken walls squeezing down on his lengthy shaft everytime it kisses your womb. he can’t help but draw well-timed circles across your clit, relishing the sweet gasps and moans you cry out with. your hands claw at his shoulders to demand him closer to you, and he hisses pleasantly at the sensation. 

“it’s ‘cause you’re made for me, daddy.” you whimper sweetly in his ear, and he’s almost embarrassed at how your saccharine whisper makes his dick jump, his brutal strokes stuttering a bit. your nails dig into his skin and your pussy clenches down on him again as you say it, and he kicks his pace up impossibly faster. his cock is perfect, hitting every spot just right, his girth stretching you every time, usually abusing your cervix like it is now. 

it was no secret he loved that name. loved it to such an extent that you called him that more often than his real name or any other pet name one would traditionally use for their husband–and it started way before you tied the knot. kento nanami hadn’t ever particularly felt special before in his entire life. not even amongst sorcerers. he thought his cursed technique was decent at best, and hated seeing talented sorcerers like satoru gojo walk around without a care in the world. nanami never felt like he had a role in life, settling to just live and work his life away. he would go home and watch shows or cook or maybe get into music–something mindless and low effort. maybe one day he would meet some average lady, probably at a market or bookstore if he had to say. then he would marry that girl and be happy enough. maybe even have a couple of kids while he works at that same job and does his best to stay out of trouble no matter the part of his rebel soul that desires to be known, to be important–necessary. 

so when he met you, the very personification of trouble, by happenstance, he knew his worldview had changed. you were a light he had never seen before, exquisite beauty paired with a bewitching personality and dangerous wit, he was in love with you before he had gotten your name. it was so utterly unlike him, such a logician and pessimist. he didn’t even know how you had wandered in, this location was veiled to non-sorcerers, but kento knew by the looks of you that you weren’t supposed to be there. so he’s surprised when he finds himself protecting you, knowing such a little thing like yourself had somehow bypassed the veil had him worried about you, and as much as he tried to tell himself he would be this concerned for any regular citizen that had wandered into a cursed trap, he knows it’s because he wants to be your hero, and he wants to matter in your story, maybe even become part of it himself. and you’re sweet. so darling he can’t even comprehend how quickly he’s become entranced by you. you talk to him through the entire mission, unable to see the cursed spirits yourself, you can only follow the tall man’s instructions, and clap whenever he waved you back to his side and straightened his patterned tie. 

he thought it was adorable, and even though you had no idea what he was doing, quite literally watching him slash through air with nothing but the foreboding sense of evil confirming the things the man named kento nanami told you about citizens and sorcerers and cursed energy and spirits. you praised him after, thanking him for keeping you safe. you bat your eyelashes at him, the affection in your eyes hard to miss. it was as if you thought the world of him, and it put a paralyzing grip on his heart. he had to see you again, and luckily you tucked your phone into the palm of his hand and smiled that same sun-moon-and-stars smile at him before he summoned the courage to ask for it himself. he programs his contact into your phone, but just the number. he hands it back to you, still on the contact page. you giggle and under the guise of flirtatious joking, put him in as ‘baby daddy.’ 

yeah, you were certainly a bundle of trouble. but kento took pleasure in undoing you layer by layer, getting to know you and growing his love for you day by day. the ‘joke’ of calling him daddy became a very real theme inside and outside the bedroom–only paused when in public. he finally had a role in life, the way you shower him in affection and lull that name off your lips is enough to make him feel whole, like every transgression he had experienced up to this point was a destination on the journey to be your perfect man, someone you put all your trust and love into. he felt like the most important man in the world, being by your side was the greatest reward a man like him could ask for. he had more than he had hoped for, but there was still a few goals left on his list, like seeing himself become your real baby daddy. 

with the way your tits bounce as he fucks into you, cunt squelching and leaking all over the sheets, he thinks this is the perfect time to really try. your sultry babblings of his name prickle goosebumps into his flesh–either that or it’s from your nails raking over his chest to pinch his overly sensitive nipples. his cock twitches against your spongy spot again, and a loud moan tears from your throat. he doesn’t repress the grunt that comes in response, nodding his head to the words that had been on repeat since you said them. “it’s ‘cause you’re made for me, daddy.” 

“that’s my girl, are you ready to be my little baby mama? tell daddy what you want, angel.” he says, withdrawing from your gripping walls  and slamming back in so hard your vision danced with colored orbs, mouth unable to form the words you so desperately wanted to say to him. you nod, feeling trails of saliva slide down your chin, drooling as he brutalizes your cunt. “use your words, darling, daddy needs to hear what you need.” 

“i’m ready daddy, please–god, wanna make you a daddy for real, i’ll give you the prettiest family, i swear!” you cry, the rate at which you spasm around him and claw at his chest tells him that you’re gonna cum again, for maybe the fifth time tonight. you’re so lewd; the sounds you make and the pretty white ring being smeared around by your pussy lips swallowing the adornement back up again and the way your doll-like hands fondle your tits all combining perilously to tip him over the edge.

“i know you are, love. i know, i’ll make sure of it, you know daddy’s got you.” he coos, planting his lips along your neck, going back over dark bruises and teeth marks from the night of passion. then  his balls tighten and his release spurts into you in long bursts, and he feels your pussy throbs and let a stream of cum spray from your cunt, coating his abs in more of your essence then he had ever had the pleasure of before. his smile is wolf-like, his cock still plugging you full. he wants to take you up on it, breeding you to be your baby daddy once and for all. you’re fucked out of your mind, legs twitching with pleasure as you continue to whine and catch your breath. he watches you, everything about your post-orgasm glow making his heart swell as always. you were effortlessly perfect, it was maddening. 

he keeps your hole stopped up until his dick softens, and even then he’s pulling your panties back up, kissing your clit over the bundle. he quickly cleans his stomach up and changes the sheets around you, picking you up when need be. he’s still grinning ear to ear from making you cum like that, so many times and so violently. you’re absolute mush, and because he’s such a good daddy, he’ll spend the rest of the night taking care of his baby girl.

[topherwrites]

FIC RECS: TOP GUN: MAVERICK - 2!

Okay, so there was shit I forgot in my year in review rec list. I posted it and a minimum of about 10 other fics immediately came to mind. so, part 2! I also didn't put many WIPs on the first one, but I think currently in progress fics should get some love too. I'll be marking them with an asterisk.

If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each.

I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! Happy reading!

P.S. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!

(P.S.S. reblog the fics you like, it makes writers happy.)

part 1, if you missed it.

SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!

JAKE SERESIN

Parking Lots and Matcha Lattes by @withahappyrefrain

In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop. AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.

The Hangman Special by @hangmanssunnies

On a night out with your friends at a fancy cocktail bar, you are just trying to keep your head down and ignore the girl that your ex cheated on you with. The night only seems like it's going to get worse when you are dared to kiss a stranger at the bar. However, it seems like the odds might finally be in your favor when you notice a familiar set of broad shoulders. If you can be convincing, you think you might just be able to get your brother's friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin to help you out with your little problem.

*she is both hellfire and holy water by @chemistryread

you should take it as a compliment, that I'm talking to everyone here but you.

Birds Away by @wombtotombx

You’d known Jake since you were kids, bonding over the shared experience of being military brats overseas. You were the perfect pair - he was reckless, you followed the rules; he didn’t care what others thought, you were a people-pleaser. You both became the best of the best in your field - he through sheer talent and skill, you from demonstrated grit and determination. For over two decades, everyone around you - parents, friends, even teachers - had assumed you’d both end up together, despite the fact that somehow, you never did. The Navy always had its way of keeping you two apart. Whatever possibilities there might have been, it was just never in the cards. Until you got to Fallon.

*The Backup by @ereardon

No strings attached sex never works, right? You and Jake Seresin have fallen into a bad pattern of seeking each other out for sex after dates go awry, but a year of being friends with benefits with Jake hasn’t been good for your dating life. Especially when the two of you are hiding your antics from your lifelong best friend Coyote and the rest of your tightly knit friend group. But what happens when you decide to take a step back and end the cycle with Jake to focus on your dating life? And why is it that all of the sudden Jake looks more irresistible than ever when you know he’s off limits? 

Take Care of Business by @honkytonk-hangman

The last time you met Lieutenant Jake Seresin, the war was still ongoing and you’d been in a floundering engagement. Back then you’d seen the possibility for more in his eyes, and now? Well, now you could explore it.

When Jake Met Polly by @/honkytonk-hangman

Jake likes to flirt with his Air Traffic Controller or Jake Seresin has never seen When Harry Met Sally.

How It's Done (Oneshot Version) by @/honkytonk-hangman

“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.

Twenty-Five Going on Forty-Seven by @sehnsuchts-trunken

Flirting with the guy who fixed your car turns out to lead to much, much more when you find out he’s actually not just some random guy, but your new neighbour and father’s new best friend, Jake Seresin.

BRADLEY BRADSHAW

*fever pitch by @greenorangevioletgrass

Arsenal and USMNT captain Bradley Bradshaw attends the mononymous music sensation Y/N's concert with a friendship bracelet and a dream. Little did he know that they soon embark on an epic love story fit for pop royalty...

This Love Came Back to Me by @beyondthesefourwalls

You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it.

I Like Your Cinema by @sometimesanalice

Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.

‘cause no one breaks my heart like you by @heartsofminds

“Last times always make him uneasy. He thinks that he should be used to it by now from his track record of being abandoned (willfully or “out of their control” situations alike). None of this should hurt him as deeply anymore.” or Bradley Bradshaw is terrified of commitment and he decides to stop being selfish (even though it’s hard to see).

the periphery by @youvebeenlivingfictional

You’d met Bradley a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy.

*Hotter Than Texas by @tongue-like-a-razor

Bradley Bradshaw is tasked with transporting a not-so-delicate package in the form of Jake Seresin’s baby sister, who turns out to be Bradley’s dream girl worst nightmare.

*flight risk by @ofstoriesandstardust

In which you and Rooster got married while at UVA for the military benefits. What started out as a mutually beneficial deal between friends years ago turns into a point of interest for Maverick, causing Rooster to have to haul you out to Fightertown to get him to shut up. While Maverick’s fussing over a marriage he didn’t know existed, Rooster’s focused on getting the ball rolling on divorce papers because really, the Navy does not need to be calling some poor girl from his college that he’s died in a horrendous accident. It’s proving to be more difficult than he expected, especially when Hangman and Phoenix take it upon themselves to encourage a friendship to become more. 

How You Play the Game by @roosterforme

Bradley always loved October because of the World Series. He never expected a mix-up with the ticket he won to bring something as spectacular as you into his life. But time is fleeting, and now baseball is the last thing on his mind.

*The Intern by @/roosterforme

You barely have a minute to yourself after graduating at the top of your Ivy League class before your father insists you find an internship. Your days of lounging by the pool and partying are numbered as he has an endless parade of his colleagues visiting the house. But one of them is familiar to you in a way that warms your skin just like the San Diego sun. And it turns out, Bradley Bradshaw may just have the answers to all your problems. And those answers might be waiting for you on a yacht in the Mediterranean Sea.

there was something 'bout you by @bussyslayer333

bradley bradshaw didn’t fall in love, especially not with uptight girls in his english lit class and especially not the ones being forced into tutoring him.

*Ultraviolence by @babyonboard

You and Bradley loved each other, and Jake was just your old friend from high school who you tried to pay no mind to. At least that's how it used to be.

All Too Well by @bradleyfuckingbradshaw

You’re at dinner with your boyfriend and some of his colleagues at a restaurant he chose when you look over the menu and realize there’s no vegetarian option, but he’s too busy with his friends to realize that. Bradley isn’t.

October 3rd Promptober by @familyvideostevie

you go to a tailgate with your friend bradley.

If You Met Me First by @tip-top-cloud-surfer

Rooster confessed to Echo that he was in love with her before the mission. One minor problem: she has a boyfriend.

Home for the Holidays by @mothdruid

Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley’s feelings for one another.

BOB FLOYD

*I bet this would look beautiful on film by @coridotmp3

Honey desperately needs a photographer, and Bob desperately needs a break.

Robert from Next Door by @attapullman

You've lucked out with the perfect neighbor, a kind and overly helpful WSO. He puts up Christmas lights, lends his lawn mower, and grabs your morning paper. But what happens when he's out of peppermint tea one night?

If Only the Neighbors Knew by @/attapullman

A month of stolen kisses culminates in Robert hosting the HOA meeting and getting you on his couch. The ladies of the neighborhood may make him blush, but only you can make your sweet neighbor weak in the knees.

*Golden Hour by @/ereardon

Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?

Ruin the Friendship by @withahappyrefrain

The night before Bob leaves for Boot Camp, he’s learned no one has gone down on his best friend. He’s determined to fix that.

International Bob Floyd Fucks Month Masterlist

a january writing event hosted by @/attapullman

Bob from Stats by @/attapullman

College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.

[ms-cartoon]

I've been coming across a bunch of Hazbin spoilers and decided "screw it" and found the leaks to the full episodes. (I don't care how sensitive you leak haters are about it)

Of course, as expected, this show is already turning out to be trashy as I would expect it to be. Little retcons here and there, shitty writing, some crappy and pathetic characters who already lost whatever mojo they had back in the pilot, voice-acting is bitter as it will always be, etc.

There are a lot of issues with just these two eps, but I'm just gonna point out the ones that got my attention the most.

WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS/ MENTIONS OF HARRASMENT AND ALL THE 18+ BS.

-- Charlie- "Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates, known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil."

I beg to differ since it's established already that angels from heaven are nothing but fakes and are evil as hell, probably proud of it. Exhibit A: Adam and Sera. Now if they were anything like Frollo (someone who believes they are doing good but are not) I might be okay with it. Like say, they only resort to extermination because they're from heaven, they feel it is their job, and they have to do it even though it's wrong. Instead, however, I assume they exterminate because they just like to do it and they're evil like that. They probably have a feeling that some sinners are still good people on the inside and just don't care.

-- Charlie: As the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this,

Heaven made a truly heartless decision that every year, they would send down an army an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them.

I hear with my little ear another retcon!!

In the pilot, the only reason why extermination was a thing was because of overpopulation in hell. Now they're saying heaven is exterminating sinners cuz they're threatened by the overgrowing power and they don't want to be rebelled by it?? I going to guess that they only made this change so they can force evil on heaven while making Lucifer the innocent one. This is exactly what they did with Stella in the HB series where it was brought up that things were okay between her and Stolas only for the second season to say Stella hated Stolas the whole time they were together and treated him badly just so the writers can tell us viewers that she's evil.

Is this gonna be a thing now?

-- Angel: I'll have the horniest sinners knockin these walls down to get in!

This body was made to be exploited!

Seriously, guys, this is the same pervert we're supposed to feel bad for BECAUSE he's being exploited!

And leave it to Angel to completely miss the point of this hotel. What they want is to convince sinners to REDEEM themselves. Banging them is not a way to go about it, bud!

-- My predictions about Angel being a sex joke are correct. I'm mean- they've always been correct, I'm just saying I had a feeling they were going to show it off more in the show.

-- Vaggie: "No, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to."

Angel Dust: "Well, I chose to stay here and I think it's all stupid."

No shit- The only reason why u agreed to stay is for the free rent. So don't go marking yourself as a good example.

-- I don't totally have a problem with this show being a musical as long as the timing is right. Charlie is so quick to tell Vaggie about a meeting she'll participate in and is excited about, but before Vaggie can even question it and talk to her, Charlie immediately starts singing without even hearing Vaggie out. They kinda rushed this musical number a little too quickly. Which only goes to show how fast-paced this episode is. It's always fast-pacing with these shows.

-- I have the sudden urge to jump inside this show and beat the ever-loving crap outta Angel if keeps on moaning and getting horny . . .

-- Angel continuously flirts and touches an obviously uncomfortable Husk and fans are going to look at this as "cute" while I look in annoyance and disgust. And once again, this is the same guy we're supposed to feel bad for because he has a pimp who inflicts the same actions that he does and fans will choose to ignore it.

-- Adam is practically the most irritating character in this series so far. I was right with what I said about him before. For someone who's supposed to be an angel he sure as hell doesn't act like it. The whole time he's on screen, he's just making jokes, ridiculing the hell out of Charlie, and not listening to her at all. Continuously cussing and talking about dicks??? He has the most cringiest dialogue ever and I had the urge to skip it every time he's on screen. Something tells me he and Lute should switch positions since she seems more professional.

-- Charlie: Sinners make mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes.

Charlie, I know where you're trying to get at sweetheart, but I really hope you don't include all the rapists, murderers, abusers, and pedophiles down below. Do you really think they qualify as someone who can be redeemed? If so, I would have to side with the angels here despite their antagonistic behavior. I would understand trying to rehab drug addicts, alcoholics, robbers, etc. but definitely not the former.

Now that I think about it, Charlie is kind of acting like Viv in this scenario where she tries to excuse these criminalistic behaviors most of her characters committed when they really don't deserve anything good happening to them. That's like trying to redeem Valentino for pimping and abusing Angel Dust. Do we really think Val is capable of redemption??

Sorry to burst your bubble Ms. Morningstar, but the angels are in the right here. Hell exists for a reason and people who do bad things and like to do bad things deserve to be there. I wouldn't bother trying to rehab sinners who don't deserve it or are not going to try to fix their behavior.

-- Lute: Angels don't make mistakes . . .

Then what does that say about Lucifer? He was an angel who caused some actions that you guys would count as mistakes therefore expelling him from heaven. You guys never even attempted to exterminate him yet.

-- I'm sorry, I don't like Brandon Rogers as Killjoy. It's literally just a demon version of one of his characters. It's nothing original like the pilot.

So that is what I think about the first episode. If I forget to mention something, i'll just edit the post. Won't be too long before I make some comments about the second one, but for now, the gist of everything is . . . it's bleh.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!!

[thefiery-phoenix]

Hi I have been reading all your works and I'be got to say that its really good I mean like wow anyways I would like to request a platonic y'know fix with the oldies of lookism I mean Charles and tom Lee meeting up and Charles bragging about his child (the reader) there new awards , involvement in the business or you can do the geniuses instead of the reader being a genius she's named as the prodigy and is literally so smart like 400 IQ type shit and she literally saves the company's reputation, every genius admits shes smart and kinda like a learning genius where she doesnt have to copy it but masters whatever she wants to learn isnt a copy genius btw but can you like make the personality of the reader a bit like James like reserved nonchalant etc anyways thank you

Hello and thank you for liking my work, it really does mean a lot to have your support❤️

THE PRODIGY

"Long time no see Choi'' spoke a hulking and imposing man that stood tall and towered over the frame of the CEO of the HNH group as Charles glanced up from his newspaper to see none other than Tom Lee, the owner of the White Tiger Job Centre (Baekho HRM), known for being the best in the business to get rid of people in a sneaky and quick manner. "Oh please, you act like we haven't seen each other in years when we just met 2 months ago'' scoffed Charles slightly but a small amused smirk formed on his face. "You look happy...whose life did you screw over, you old crone?" chuckled Tom as he took out his grey bottle from his trench coat pocket and gulped a large sip of his alcohol from it. "Oh come now, you act like I'm a criminal or something...but I didn't screw anyone over yet...for now'' said Charles as he headed over to the table nearby and shuffled a few papers till a picture of you fell out from the stack of papers as Tom's interest piqued up and peered at your picture in an interested manner

"I didn't know you started hiring girls to do your dirty work Choi...props to you for following gender equality and such'' grinned Tom as he stared at the picture. "Ah, that's my newest recruit. One of the prized gems I've had the fortune of stumbling upon. Her name is Y/N L/N'' spoke Charles proudly as the lines around his eyes crinkled slightly out of pride for you. "This is the first time I've ever heard you praise someone other than those brats Gun and Goo...I wonder what makes this one here so special that has you singing her praises'' questioned Tom as he raised a brow in curiosity, awaiting for Charles' explanation. "In a way, she's kind of like James Lee...an exceptionally skilled and talented fighter, I daresay even stronger than Gun and Goo... she has training of the Indian martial arts called Kallaripayyatu along with Krav Maga which makes quite the deadly combination when used in combat. The advantage of her using her skills is that no one can predict what she might do next. She's even more unpredictable than Goo and James because if someone faces them a couple of times they'd be able to read their attack patterns with ease. But it's different for Y/N, you'll never know when she'll whip out a chain or a knife or just fight with her bare hands... that's what makes her quite the enigmatic fighter, she isn't afraid to fight dirty as well''

"She sounds like quite the catch then...'' muttered Tom as he continued to drink his drink and stared at your picture. "She's even won an award for her literary works as a writer, the Lindenberg award and is quite the over achiever if I must admit...a real prodigy of a girl. My daughter took an instant liking to her as do I. She simply cannot stop singing her praises'' replied Charles as Tom had an amused smirk on his face. "Neither can you and the amount of stalking you do makes me look sane'' answered Tom with a cackle. Charles smirked as he replied "That was mere research...her personality is a literal carbon copy of James, completely reserved and shy and nonchalant'' "Ah, so you're dealing with a touch me not of an introvert then eh, good luck getting that one to open up to you'' said Tom as he snickered and gulped down the last sip of his drink before he stuffed his bottle back into his pocket and glanced at Charles

"Doesn't matter though, I'll have to make her open up...what she's achieved to do for my company was more than what any of the Worker's affiliates could do, they're all mere useless inexperienced children in front of her...'' scoffed Charles as he hummed slightly and his gaze left your photo to focus on the view of the night city before him, several feet below him, taking pride in the fact that he'd gotten to a point where people had to look up to HIM. "You better be careful though...a little birdie told me that Steve Hong was looking forward to meeting with Y/N L/N'' said Tom with a slight grin as Charles' posture stiffened and his jaw clenched as he narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?" he asked in a soft voice, his tone laced with malice and hidden fury. 'That old bastard...if he ever thinks he can have Y/N and steal MY prodigy from me, he's got another thing coming...he can't have her..no...I'll make sure of it...' Charles thought to himself as Tom smirked, looking like he'd just read Charle's thoughts. "You look awfully nervous of losing your beloved little prodigy...wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to snatch her up like the little feather that she is for someone else to use?" asked Tom, his cheshire cat like grin evident on his face and his eyes glinted with malicious amusement, enjoying the sight of Charles Choi on the verge of losing his cool and his patience on the line

"Let me enlighten you with a little story...a while ago Eugene tried to recruit Y/N to join the Workers and he somehow thought he could keep it quiet from me but failed. Why else do you think I decided to meet with Jake Kim, the son of Gapryong Kim that night? We both know it wasn't out of sheer pity...Y/N is my ticket to destroy the crews and the Workers and expand my empire'' said Charles as he continued to stare at the city beneath him, just how he liked it, everyone underneath him, serving him. "I sometimes forget you're more unhinged and ruthless than me...I can't say if I'm shocked or proud'' spoke Tom as he trailed off and looked like he was pondering about something. "This is coming from someone who strips his clothes off and challenges his employees to a fight to the death. It's a miracle your so called employees lasted for so long'' replied Charles as he smirked at Tom. "Touche old Choi'' grinned Tom

"I'm planning to make sure she stays close to us...to me...at my residence. Of course, I shall fund for her schooling and such'' said Charles after a few moments of silence. "Doesn't she have parents?'' asked Tom with a quirked brow as his amused smirk grew even wider. It was such a sight to see someone like him be so obsessed about someone like you, and rightfully so, Tom could understand his friend's obsession with you. You were a natural gifted fighter, the sort of fighter people would literally KILL and spill blood to have on their side. "Do you think that concerns me? Her father is a software engineer and her mother is a stay at home housewife...hardly what I call a challenge. Her potential will be wasted if she continues to live with them. I've tried to convince them before to send her to me and they had the guts to refuse me even after offering them a fortune...I am Elite...if it means I have to get rid of her parents and have their blood spilled then so be it. It will also prove as a warning for anyone foolish enough to attempt to lure her to them. Besides, I've already spilled blood before, it's nothing new. What's a bit more going to do?'' answered Charles, his eyes glinting with malice as his smirk widened. Tom was now convinced you really were the prodigy he'd heard so much about from the people around who kept on yapping about you. He was just glad he managed to wring out the information from Charles which saved him tons of amount of research as he mentally decided to pay you a visit some day...even if it meant dealing with Choi's wrath which he could always deal with later. The main goal on Tom's mind now was how to get you on HIS side...

[zepskies]

Hey Zepskies! I'm a small writer but I'm starting on my ficlet about an oc x ben (soldier boy). I've read so much of your work and just think you are a very talented writer. Do you have any tips on writing ben? it can be vague and I know you're busy so I don't expect a response. :)

Hey there!

First off, welcome and thank you for reading my stories (and for that lovely compliment). 💕

As for your question, writing Soldier Boy (Ben) can be very tricky. It took me a while to fully figure out how to write the character, and I will say, it's a challenge every time I do dive back into this (loveable) asshole.

😂 That said, here are 3 main tips I have for writing his character:

1. Comparable archetypes:

When I started trying to do a character analysis of this guy, I started with who he would've likely looked up to and tried to emulate: Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, John Wayne, Indiana Jones, John Winchester, and even Dean Winchester to an extent -- the strong, stoic, man of action archetype.

AKA: The Big Swinging Dick™️ in the Room.

These men are leaders, a "man's man," show no pain, weakness, or vulnerability. (So shove those "soft" emotions down your gullet as much as humanly possible. Real men don't cry, amirite? 🙄)

But the fun thing I find about guys like this is, even though they have a hard shell, being able to pierce the armor somehow and get to the creamy center of their heart can be a very rewarding story indeed.

2. The balance of SB's personality:

Based on what we got in season 3 of The Boys, I find that Soldier Boy's personality is a delicate balance of a few key things:

Arrogant Narcissist: He's a massive ego, selfish with a conflated sense of his own importance. Especially before his capture, he's reached the pinnacle of fame. He's bought into his own hype and the backstory Vought created for him, and he assumes that everyone in his life loves him for it.

As Jensen said of his character in Supes Ain't Always Heroes (check out my review of the book here if you like):

“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)

Womanizing Misogynist: That entire scene with SB and Grace in Nicaragua tells you all you need to know about how Soldier Boy talks to, treats, and views women. 🙄 Again, he's a narcissist, so he assumes women are going to be into him because he's the world's biggest superhero, because he's handsome, because he's that guy.

The problem is, he is devastatingly handsome and impressive as a superhero. And my headcanon is he can be very charming when he wants to be. Again, using his skills as an actor and channelling that old-world debonair charm to get what he wants. (i.e. Cary Grant, etc.)

Violent and Indifferent to Collateral Damage: This is a key one, because this is part of what makes him different from Homelander. SB is not a psychopath. He doesn't necessarily enjoy hurting people. He just doesn't care about the collateral damage.

He also can't tolerate a perceived slight to his masculinity or status, like when Black Noir tried to rise up in the ranks and come into his own as a movie star. Soldier Boy, in his selfishness, saw that as Noir trying to come for his crown, in a sense, which is why he ultimately showed his mean streak through violence.

When he gets back to the U.S. after escaping Russia, he's on a warpath of vengeance against his team who sold him out, and anyone who gets in his way.

"If they have it coming," he tells Hughie.

3. Soldier Boy is both less and more than what he represents: (AKA: His insecurities)

As we know, Soldier Boy didn't really storm Normandy or fight the Nazis. He falls short of every definition of a hero. However, he's also not just a caricature of toxic masculinity.

Ben has deep-seated insecurities that he buries under all the bravado and the Soldier Boy persona. He was also emotionally abused by his father, who set exacting standards for what it meant to be a man.

It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.

He won’t be one to easily admit he’s wrong, or need help, or express emotions he deems are “soft.” He doesn’t want to look weak or demean himself, let alone be genuinely vulnerable, despite likely wanting that connection with someone.

He uses coping mechanisms like drugs to mask and dull his PTSD, but even in his heyday, I think he drugs and parties hard just to pass the time, and to mask how actually empty he is inside. He has no real love in his life, and no family. It's why he admits to Hughie that he wanted kids. Deep down, he wants a family to fill that void that fame, booze, drugs, and meaningless sex can't fill in his life.

So with all of that flawed, internal mess that is Soldier Boy, the biggest challenge I find as a romance writer is trying to keep all of these aspects of his character, while trying to show the glimmers of the humanity in Ben -- the chink in his armor showing just enough softness to the one person who's brave enough to "try" with him.

That said, I hope all of this helps! 💚

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chp: 18

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 4.9k

Warnings: smut, cunnilingus, g!p elements, fluff, mentions of gore and death, y/n & draco , atp it's y/n and hermione against the world

Note: hi! sorry this one took literal ages, I hope y'all can forgive me.. Initially I thought I'd be able to wrap this story up with 1 more chapter but I think rn it's looking like 2 more atleast lol

anyway this part pretty much kicks off with smut so be warned, I feel like I've written so many at this point I just hope it's not stale and still enjoyable to read, feel free to let me know what you think! <3 love you all and I will try my best to get the next part out asap

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1 @t-wylia @raven-ss @unexpected-character

Hermione unzips your slacks, tugging them down till they pool at your feet. By the time you kick them off, her hands are already roaming your frame, graceful and determined fingers disappearing into your hair as her tongue invades your mouth.

Your girlfriend kisses you with such fervent hunger, any feelings of apprehension on your end rapidly dissipate. 

Her hands continue their mission to undress you, and before you realize it, she has undone the buttons on your shirt, tugging the fabric off your frame. 

Hermione continues to be driven by careless want, her mouth finds your collarbone, and then the swell of your breast. Her palm gliding across your bare torso makes you shiver in anticipation.

“Hermione–” You try as she pulls away for an instant, but your chest tightens the moment your eyes meet.

She is eyeing you like a caged beast– as if you are her last meal on earth, and she plans to devour you whole.

You can see how violently her chest heaved with every ragged breath she took, her stare glazed over with arousal, it made you ache.

This can't be the last time. It shouldn't be.. but that wasn't up to either of you.

Her fingers find the back of your head once more, this time her grip is frantic– your breaths continue to mingle as she cleaves to you, coaxing you to kiss her again, to take her.

“I want you, please.” Hermione pleads, and you can't help but smirk, attentive eyes studying her features, traces of true desperation painted across them. 

Your girlfriend, now reduced to a creature of want and desire and you are the only being on earth that will ever hope to satiate her.

Hermione appreciates the way your hand halts at her rear, giving her ass a wanton squeeze.

Your bodies now flush against each other, your bare skin feels like fire against hers– Hermione would gladly burn to ash if it means you will continue to touch her.

“You have me..” Your assurance is sealed with a passionate kiss, pulling a whimper out of your girlfriend.

Hermione's lips move against your own, hard and eager, she tugs you down onto the floor with her by the nape of your neck.

Her legs immediately curl around your waist, and you can't help the feeling that sets over you. You were intoxicated, completely enchanted by Hermione, even from the simplest of gestures.

This can't be the last time.

Hermione gasps as you trail open mouthed kisses down her neck, a familiar liquid heat settles in between her legs as your mouth reaches her breasts.

You kiss her nipple over the fabric of her bra, and she arches her back reflexively to feel more of you.

She leaves room for you to reach around so you may unclasp the undergarment, discarding it to the side with practiced ease.

Hermione captures your lips with her own once more, as if it were a form of sustenance, as if she would lose herself if she did not steal every opportunity to kiss you.

As both of your lungs clamour for air, you pull away, once again your warm mouth finds even hotter flesh, and your intentions are shameless, you begin to bite and suck, leaving deep purple bruises in your wake.

You were only just getting started with her, and Hermione is already a panting, writhing mess. Her breathless moans are music to your ears. 

You proceed to suck on her nipple, hard, and merely revel at the feeling of her fingers tightening in your hair, the way she trembles helplessly underneath you.

Soon your tongue finds her navel, and it is a welcomed sensation, you nip at it lightly this time, Hermione squirms. “Y/n..” The sweet and perilous way she utters your name gives you no room to think.

You loop your fingers underneath the hem of her underwear, tugging them down, she lifts her hips dutifully, allowing you to take them off.

You look up at Hermione in the process, her stare is bright and demure, it fills you with pride. Your girlfriend remains to be the most comely specimen you have ever set eyes on. 

**

Then, Hermione impatiently grips a fistful of your hair, as you inch closer to her weeping center you catch sight of it, swollen and glistening, you can smell her arousal, and it makes your mouth water.

Practically dizzy with want, you just about maintain some semblance of composure, leaning in to plant an experimental kiss against her folds. 

Hermione whimpers at the feeling, the sight of you licking her arousal off your lips nearly tips her over the edge. She groans, but she does nothing else to rush you.

You find her compliance addictive, always as enticing as ever.

Finally, your open mouth makes contact with her sex, the sudden nature of it rips a cry out of Hermione.

Your tongue moves with bold strokes, you suck and kiss her repeatedly– however restless and greedy, it causes Hermione's legs to shake ever so slightly.

Her moans echo throughout the vast and vacant chambers, your girlfriend's fist tightens around your hair to the point of pain, and you make no plans to stop.

You shift your attention to her bundle of nerves, sucking, albeit slightly more tenderly as you bring a finger up to her entrance, prodding at it for a moment before pushing it inside, until you are knuckle deep.

And that does it– Hermione chokes out another loud moan, her body responding to you before her conscious mind can even catch up. She gasps despairingly as her climax washes over her. 

Her grip on your hair finally loosens, and you pull your mouth away, soon your face is hovering over hers. 

Slipping a hand underneath her neck, you hold her as she trembles, you observe as she attempts to catch her breath. 

Your other hand doesn't move from in between her legs, a finger still inside of her, you can feel her cunt squeezing at it indecently.

Hermione's warm brown eyes still darkened with arousal as she gazed up at you.

“That was the quickest one yet.” You quip, but Hermione doesn't respond to your smug remark, instead meeting your lips with her own with real anguish.

She wants more, much more, you can feel it.

You retract your finger from her sex slightly, only to re enter with another. Hermione's whine slips past her lips directly into your own. 

You pull your face away so you may look at her– watching her expression contort as you proceed to curl your digits inside of her.

Your girlfriend's hand flies to your bicep, her nails digging into your flesh.

Hermione mewls and whimpers pathetically with every tantalizing pump of your fingers, she begins grinding her hips against it, wordlessly urging you to move faster, but you don't comply, not yet. 

“Tell me what you want, sweet girl.” You coax, and even after an orgasm, your girlfriend still appears as though she is on the verge of tears.

“Please..” Her voice trembles. You continue to slowly pump in and out of her, Hermione is so wet she is dripping down your hand.

“What do you need, tell me.” Your lips graze the shell of her ear, you kiss it knowing how it would only weaken her further.

“I need you to fuck me.” Hermione finally says, she is still gripping your bicep, her words are driven by her frustration, and they were exactly what you wanted to hear.

You are incapable of containing your grin then, soon rewarding her with a deep kiss. A moment passes before you pull away, retracting your fingers from her core entirely in the process.

Hermione's breath catches in her throat, a flicker of panic as she watches you move off her.

“Let me fetch my wand.” You quickly explain, and she releases your arm before nodding, she consents to your idea.

You rummage through your clothes that are strewn on the damp stone floor, fishing out your wand from your jacket.

*

You can feel Hermione's eyes on you, observing as you removed your underwear. A familiar sensation overcomes you as you waved your wand over your pelvic area.

When you turn to look at your girlfriend once more, Hermione has propped herself up on her elbows. No doubt she has been watching you intently, her gaze soon falls to the length in between your legs and you take notice of the way her chest is heaving uncontrollably.

The look of near primal hunger she wore unabashedly across her face was enough to drive you to the brink of madness, you needed to take her now.

You settle yourself on top of her once more, and Hermione kisses you again, haphazard and familiar, she wraps her leg around your waist, and you quickly decide there is no more easing into it. You grab the base of your shaft, lining up the tip of it to her entrance.

Hermione is forced to separate her mouth from your own as she nearly falls apart, her head thrown back in pure ecstasy when you enter her– immediately setting a rhythm with your hips.

She gasps with every thrust, your cock hitting every inch of her in a way that never fails to make her see stars. 

Your own noises of pleasure are muffled against the crook of her neck, her grip on your back never falters as she holds you as close as she possibly could.

Hermione's cunt flutters against your girth, a sign that she was already approaching her peak, tightening around you with every stroke. 

You were drunk on the feeling, her eagerness to feel you, to take her pleasure from you. She felt so warm and wet, her walls molded around your cock as if it was made for you.

You are fucking her mercilessly, selfish and without reserve. It is perfect. It is exactly what she asked for.

“I love you– so much.” Hermione's admittance sounds closer to a whimper, so helpless and meek, it makes you groan.

“I love you.” You respond in between thrusts, her nails are digging into your back, it makes you wince but it also makes you move harder.

You continue rutting into her, wild and unchecked, until finally she comes undone once more, she cries out from the force of her peak, her walls clenching around you so tight that you are forced to halt as your own orgasm hits you.

It comes on so intense that you can just barely hold yourself up, Hermione welcomes you to rest some of your weight against herself.

“Fucking hell–” You curse breathlessly after a prolonged silence, and Hermione's chuckles in response.

You lift your head to meet her gaze, expecting your girlfriend to appear at least a bit satiated, but the glint in her eye suggests otherwise.

She looks starved, needy, and so damned captivating.

Hermione threads her fingers through your hair, guiding your face to her own by the back of your head. 

You attempt to bring your mouth closer, expecting a kiss, but instead, she takes your bottom lip in between her teeth, tugging on it hard enough to make you hiss in pain.

She only stops to glide her tongue across it soothingly, before dipping into your mouth. 

You moan at the sudden chain of motions, eagerly massaging your own tongue against hers. Hermione doesn't let you pull away until you were both gasping into each other's mouths.

“I want to go again.” She declares, and you stare at her in astonishment and delight, you tenderly swipe the pad of your thumb across her cheek.

“Let us keep going forever.” You reply, and you meant it. You desire nothing more than to remain in this chamber with Hermione, just the two of you, like this, for all eternity.

It is unrealistic, foolish, there is only a short time left until you are inevitably forced to face reality, but neither of you wish to focus on that right now.

You plant a quick peck on her forehead, thrusting your hips forward playfully, Hermione's giggle rapidly morphs into a light moan as you move inside of her.

“Get on top.” You commanded, albeit without allowing her a moment to decide if she wanted to abide. 

With a hand on the small of Hermione's back, you flip your positions with ease, your length still sheathed inside your girlfriend as she settles on your lap.

Hermione is now straddling you, and she doesn't require any further direction. Her hand rests against your chest in between your breasts as she starts to grind her hips.

You bite back a moan as your cock moves in and out of her at a delicious pace. You savor the feeling, allowing Hermione to set her own rhythm, however quick or slow she wishes to take you.

Your hand moves from the other woman's waist up to her breast, kneading in accordance with her movements.

Hermione's mouth falls agape, a sharp moan escapes her as you pinched her hardened nipple in between your fingers, tempted to feel them in your mouth once more.

She lifts herself up until only the tip of your shaft is inside before sinking down once more. Hermione does so repeatedly, chasing the feeling of your cock stretching her out, over and over. 

Her moans only increase in volume the quicker she moves against your lap. Your own breathing picks up as you watch her, utterly captivated.

“You are so beautiful..” You manage to choke out, and a faint smile covers Hermione's features as she glances at you, her movements becoming more confident and unabashed.

She guides your hand that was once on her breast up to her lips, she skillfully guides your thumb into her mouth with her tongue. As she sucked on it with purpose, you can't help the guttural noise that leaves you. Your own arousal heightens considerably due to Hermione's valiant actions.

Soon she removes your thumb from her mouth, now coated in her saliva, she guides it further south towards her clit, and you need no further instruction. 

You expertly rub at the sensitive nub, and Hermione arches her back, she allows the pleasure she feels to overtake her. Eventually letting go of your hand to brace herself against your chest once more.

All you can focus on is her deafening sounds of pleasure, and the sensation of her clenching purposefully around your cock, urging you to reach your peak with her.

Hermione sinks down onto your length once, lifting herself up before doing it again, and then she halts, crying out as her entire body tenses and trembles uncontrollably, you feel her walls fluttering helplessly around your girth, sucking you in even further. 

Your girlfriend soon collapses onto you, the bottom half of her body no longer capable of supporting her own weight. Your moans of pleasure blended together as you reached your own climax. 

You feel the rapid beating of her heart against your pounding chest as she lays on top of you. You could scarcely tell where Hermione ended and you began.

**

═══════════════════════════════════════════

Now, you and Hermione are clothed once more, but neither of you are particularly eager to face whatever might be going on outside the chamber.

The ground shakes again, Hermione clutches your forearm as you both attempt to maintain your balance. 

You recognize the sound of curses bouncing off and destroying the walls and structures above ground. The screams of pure terror that permeates suggest those curses might be bouncing off people too. 

No doubt, in your fleeting absence, things have only gone from bad to worse.

You want to flee, to take Hermione far away from Hogwarts and hide, but you know that isn't an option. If the Dark Lord wins the battle here today, there is no hiding.

Hermione tugs on your arm as you take a step forward, deliberately preventing you from moving any further. You shift your glance towards her, and the look on her face shatters you.

She doesn't say anything at first, merely throwing herself in your arms. For a while you held her tightly, glad of any diversion at this point. 

“I won't be able to carry on without you.” Hermione mutters against your shoulder.

Her words were blunt and conclusive, and yet so helpless, it made you want to weep. You couldn't imagine your life without her either.

“I know.” You respond soberly.

“But we can't stay down here. Harry needs our help.” You add, and at the mention of her best friend, Hermione seemed to gain her bearings, she pulls away, ending the hug.

Her stare is distant, you can tell she was deep in thought by the way her nose scrunched slightly as she chewed on the inside of her cheek– it made you smile.

“If we survive long enough to kill the remaining Horcruxes, we might stand a chance.” She states, with newfound determination.

You nod in agreement. “We have to try.”

Finally, she gazes at you, and just like that, her resolve falters. You felt compelled to grant her a knowing look before placing a lingering kiss on her forehead. 

“Come on.” You say, tugging on her arm to lead her out of the chamber. No longer allowing either of you a chance to dither any further.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

By the time you leave the Chamber Of Secrets, things are far worse than you could have imagined. 

The Death Eaters have infiltrated the castle, attacking from every which way. The air was engulfed in noises of various curses being thrown, structures being destroyed and people screaming.

Voldermort's followers have somehow managed to get through the protective barrier, and they are relentlessly attacking students and professors alike, no one is safe.

-

You catch a cloaked figure disapparating into sight just right above you. A knee jerk reaction urges you to extend your wand arm.

“Reducto!” Your careless move pays off as you deflect the Death Eater's curse. The now dead man, propels backwards into a group of students. 

The force of your spell blew him to chunks, the sight of it causes the students to recoil, a few of them putting hands over their mouths, trying not to wretch.

It all works to unerve you as well, but the feeling of Hermione grabbing you urges you to stay alert.

Your girlfriend guides you to a fairly secluded area, the west wing of the castle. The ambiance is a stark contrast to the main hall, but the distant sounds of battle continues to leave you on edge.

Hermione pulls out the Marauder's Map once more, hoping luck will be on your side this time.

Still, you find no sign of Harry or Ron.

“Bloody hell, we'll never find them on that.” You remark in frustration, but not a moment later, Harry’s name finally appears upon the parchment.

“There they are, just there.” Hermione points to the spot on the paper, but just as she does, her friend's name disappears into the page once more.

“They just vanished. Just now, I saw it.” Hermione gapes, and you remain silent, the both of you trying to make sense of it. 

Perhaps the map was faulty, but that doesn't make much sense considering how well it has worked before– Your mind reels, another beat passes, and then it hits you.

“Wait, maybe they've gone to the Room Of Requirement. It doesn't show up on the map, does it?” You suggest, and Hermione's eyes widen.

“That's right.” She says, then she is silent, as if thrown off balance, and you realize you have to take the reins this time.

“Let's go.” You grab her hand, leading the way this time, towards the astronomy wing.

═══════════════════════════════════════════

You overhear a bit of commotion as you enter the room, Hermione lifts a finger up to her lips, gesturing that you stand back for a moment to listen, and you give her a curt nod in compliance.

“You have something of mine, I'd like it back.”

“What's wrong with the wand you have?”

You immediately recognize Harry's voice, as well as Draco's. It makes your heart sink to your stomach, he is still alive. 

You have to see him.

You step forward past Hermione, and as expected she attempts to stop you. 

“Y/n, wait.” She scolds in a hushed tone, but you advance anyway. Hermione now has no choice but to follow closely behind.

“Draco.” You call out to him, making yourself known. You then notice that he was not there alone, Goyle and Blaise stood on either side of him.

Harry and Ron whipped around at the sound of your voice, a look of what seems like relief upon their faces.

Your best friend on the other hand appears stunned, he only glances between you and Hermione.

Although you couldn't quite make out his expression, whether it was fear or guilt, the sight of you manages to pacify him well enough as he starts to lower his wand, but Goyle had other plans.

Goyle retracts his arm in preparation to attack, but your girlfriend reacts quickly. 

“Expelliarmus!”

She doesn't manage to disarm the man, instead only provoking Goyle to re direct his wrath towards her.

In a fit of rage he throws another curse. “Avada Kedavra!” He shouts.

A flash of green appears, and your heart stops.

“Stupefy!” Hermione narrowly avoids the killing curse, and pure unfiltered dread overcomes you. 

Your girlfriend could have easily just been killed at the hands of someone you once called a friend.

This realization acted like a jolt to your system, igniting a patent fury within you.

It shows clear on your face as you advance forward, Goyle flinches, lowering his wand.

Blaise and Draco are first to remove themselves from the scene, disappearing in the opposite direction.

“Look, mate– I didn't mean–” He starts, but as you take another step, the man panics, turning around to bolt out of sight. 

Without a moment's thought you sprint after him, clutching your wand so tight that your knuckles begin to turn a shade paler.

“Goyle!” You shout, turning a corner, but he was nowhere to be found.

This only aided in infuriating you further.

“Don't hide from me, you fucking coward!” Your taunt proves effective, as a curse catapults your way.

In the throes of your rage, you manage to deflect it with ease. Goyle emerges from behind the large pile of discarded furniture, Draco and Blaise behind him.

“Crucio!” You shout without hesitation, the curse misses him by an inch.

Goyle's expression twists, but he doesn't attempt to strike back.

“Y/n!” “Come on, we've got the diadem.” Hermione's voice remains distant as you focus your attention on Golye.

“Sectumsempra!” You throw the curse, and then another immediately after. He deflects them one by one, but you are so relentless in your efforts that amidst the struggle, he inevitably loses his balance, landing on the ground.

You had a clear shot of him now, you extend your arm, but before you can decide which curse to torment him with, Hermione grabs you by the shoulder, forcefully turning you around.

“Stop, enough!” “Look at me.” She places a firm hand on your jaw, urging you to look upon her properly.

“I'm unhurt.” She reminds you, her tone now far more gentle as she wishes for her words to sink in.

“Please, we need to focus, y/n.” Hermione adds. Then, you avert your gaze, almost ashamed. 

Hermione was right, now was hardly the time to allow your temper to guide you, hurting Goyle can't be your priority.

“Come.” She coaxes, intertwining your fingers, but before you can walk with her, you hear a scoff. 

You turn to find no trace of Draco or Goyle, but Blaise remains standing, scowling at the pair of you in disgust.

“Pathetic.” He remarks, scornfully.

“I can hardly believe I ever considered you a friend.. you spineless fool.” Blaise hisses, staring directly at you. 

You felt as though your insides were burning with the force of your anger, your jaw tightens.

Hermione only sighs, she clutches your hand tightly.

“Y/n please. Just leave it.” She begs, and a more sensible part of you hears her, deciding to be the bigger person, you turn around once more to take your leave with her.

“I should have killed your mudblood pet when I had the chance.” Blaise revolts in order to tempt a reaction out of you, and he succeeds.

You whisk around with the intention to fight back but before you can do anything, Blaise has his wand pointed directly at you.

“Fiendfyre.” He recites, and a steady stream of blazing heat flows out of his wand, engulfing the atmosphere.

“Aguamenti!” Hermione rapidly waves her wand, and a barricade of water prevents the two of you from being burnt alive, you can only observe as Blaise flees the scene.

Hermione holds the barrier for a long while but the fire doesn't let up, instead it only grows bigger and hotter.

“We have to run, I can't hold it much longer.” Your girlfriend's voice is strained, and you can only nod in acknowledgement as you prepared to run with her in the opposite direction.

The large sentient flame chases you through the room, twisting and morphing into different variations of beasts. 

This was a curse you had never seen casted before, one you didn't understand how to subdue, and from the looks of it, neither did Hermione.

“Run!” You shout as you approach Harry and Ron, but it is too late. Fire has surrounded you on all sides. The room was going up in flames at a rapid pace, and you were bound to burn with it if you didn't act fast.

A bead of sweat rolls down your forehead, the sweltering heat making it difficult for you to think. But then, by a miracle, Ron stumbles upon a solution you were seeking. 

He tosses the discarded pile of brooms onto the ground, enough for each of the boys and one for you and Hermione to share.

“Come on, this way!”

As you took flight, your girlfriend clutched onto you tightly, at one point even burying her face into your shoulder.

You couldn't tell if it was the prospect of flying that frightened her, or the mere possibility of plummeting to your death into a sea of flames. 

Either way, you were terrified too.

“The doors!” Harry shouts as you approached the exit, and Hermione takes the initiative to force them open with her wand.

The four of you manage to escape the fire, stumbling out the room simultaneously.

Harry ungraciously sets Ravenclaw's diadem onto the ground. You manage to retrieve the Basilisk fang from your pocket, chucking it to him.

With one large motion, the chosen one stabs the Horcrux with the tooth, it flings up into the air violently, a screeching noise erupts, piercing and unsettling as it wailed in pain.

Harry kicks away the object mid air, and it flies into the Room Of Requirement, engulfed by the flames.

It is over– that is until the fire starts to take the shape of Lord Voldermort, three headed and angry, it charges towards all of you, but before it can cause any of you real damage, it is mercifully barred by the doors, the Room Of Requirement once again disappearing into the walls, as if it never existed at all.

You share a look of relief with Hermione, but it is shortlived at the sight of Harry suddenly collapsing onto the ground.

The man grimaces in pain, and you deduce that the Dark Lord must have sensed that yet another Horcrux had been destroyed, another part of his soul, gone.

By the time Harry opens his eyes to look up at the three of you, his chest is heaving violently, he speaks through heavy breaths. 

“It's the snake– she's the last one. It's the last Horcrux.” Harry states, confirming your suspicions.

But then you pause, searching your memory, you think back to all those you have destroyed. Nagini being another part of the Dark Lord's soul made complete sense, but to your knowledge, Voldermort had split his soul into seven pieces, and you've only destroyed five Horcruxes so far. 

There is one more you have yet to locate. 

You glance at Hermione, and her brows were furrowed in similar confusion. Half a beat passes, and her expression shifts in accordance to your own, the realization graces the both of you at the same time, but neither of you dared to speak it aloud.

Harry was the final Horcrux.

Ron kneels next to his friend, a reaffirming hand on his shoulder. “Look inside him, Harry.”

"Find out where he is. If we find him, we can find the snake.” Ron suggests the perilous tactic, but Harry does as he is asked, you need to take every risk right now if you hoped to have any chance at defeating the Dark Lord.

His face twists in pain once more, Harry doesn't speak, his eyes clenched shut. 

Soon, a worried Hermione kneels by him as well.

After several moments of tense anticipation, Harry gasps, as if it pained him every time his lungs fill with air, his eyes fly open before he speaks. 

“I know where he is.” He croaks.

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

Please help my best friend's family afford a new car and medical bills

UPDATE 7/15/24: We've raised 15% of our goal!! Thank you so much to everyone who has donated!

G has been having additional struggles since I made this post. Testing revealed that she has warning signs for Multiple Sclerosis, which one of her sisters has. Their family also had a sewage pipe burst and contaminate one of her brothers' bedrooms. She's still in a lot of pain, and struggling mentally and emotionally as well. Thank you all so much for your prayers and shares.

UPDATE 8/28/24: G's family had to move out of their home temporarily due to black mold growing following the sewage pipe bursting, but they are back in their home now. G is in so much pain that she is looked into getting a wheelchair, and is currently working on getting surgery scheduled for her spine. They are still struggling, but they are surviving.

__

Hiya y'all. I wanna tell you a little bit about my best friend.

She's very private online, so I'm not going to share her name, especially since she doesn't know that I'm making this fundraiser, so we're gonna call her G. G is the hardest working person I've ever known. She's in her young 20s and is the oldest of seven children in her family, supported by their hardworking mother. She's been working for her family's sake for her entire life, throughout custody battles, a plethora of genetic health issues, and the financial burden that being a single mother of seven brings on. She is an incredible artist and writer, and is an art teacher as well as running a YouTube channel. She's funny, intelligent, and is one of my favorite people in the world.

About three weeks ago, G and her mother were rammed from behind while driving on the highway at night.

Their minivan was totaled, leaving them with two sedans in the family, and G has a spinal injury. She is in severe pain all the time, and is bedridden as she risks paralysis of her lower body. She will be unable to work for at least the summer, and it's unlikely that she'll be able to work during the fall semester either. While she is receiving medical treatment that is paid for by the offending driver's insurance, her progress is slow to nonexistent.

Her family managed to get a new minivan, but it cost them $20,000 that they didn't have. Today, her brother's sedan burst into flames in a parking lot, harming no one but torching the car and everything inside. G is distraught and struggling heavily with her mental health as well as physical.

I wish I could help support them financially, but being unemployed myself I have very little that I can give, so I'm making this fundraiser instead. I've asked her several times to consider making a gofundme, but she's been hesitant, so I'm making one in her stead. Please consider donating, I know it's a bit of a cliche but every dollar helps, and if you can't donate please consider sharing. Thank you for reading.

[qilingxiong]

🪷

Happy One Year Anniversary to Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and so, happy one year to this fandom as well!

(I would have liked to have finished writing a fic for this day. As it was, life got to me, so you get these other words instead.)

This little corner of C-drama Tumblr has brought me a lot of joy in the last year. I didn't know how long I'd be here when the show first started airing, or whether or not I'd even finish it. As it turned out, there ended up being a close-knit group of us drawn to the show as it released (I love you guys for the madness that was reacting to and speculating about some of those episodes in real time), and more showed up in the following months as well. And so I wound up staying with this story after it was over, not just because it was a wonderful one, but because I ended up getting to know a lot of other people through it too!

Some of you were here posting in the tag from day one, some of you came along later, but I've really enjoyed getting to talk and exchange ideas with so many of you. Writing meta was never my main contribution to fandom before this (and I do mostly consider myself a fic writer first and foremost) but I've had the time of my life pulling apart and analyzing this story with others, and seeing everyone's own thoughts/reactions to it. MLC is special in that the amount of care and deliberate detail put into it can support that kind of scrutiny, but it also takes the people who want to look at all these things, to have the kind of happily curious atmosphere that this fandom does. I want to thank you all for that experience. It's been fun, it's been eye-opening (I've become a better writer for it), and the variety of perspectives people have brought to discussions has left me with so much more to think about in relation to this show.

And I want to shoutout to all the creators in this fandom— gifmakers, meta writers, fic writers, artists, and everyone else I've scrolled past in the tag who shared something for the rest of us to enjoy about these characters. I check the tag every day. I see you. This fandom has been great in particular for reblogging and responding to others' creations, and it's beautiful to see that sense of community. I don't joke when I say that from the get-go I considered this fandom a breath of fresh air, compared to many others I've been in. You're all very cool and I'm so happy for the things all of us have shared in this space, for the love of MLC.

Through all this, this show and the people who gather around it here have brought me some of my closest friends in fandom today. That includes some people I'd known of for years, but never thought I'd ever really be able to talk to. I've also met a lot of Chinese diaspora through MLC, and gotten to feel a little less lonely about some of my own experiences. Not everyone here in the beginning actively talks about MLC anymore, but you know who you are, and know that I remember you and look back on 2023 very fondly. And to those who came later, or those still here, I love that we're keeping this fandom going. I don't know when the next drama will pull my attention away, but for now I'm still in this corner with the rest of you, and I'm very glad for that.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook is special, and so are all of you. Thank you for this last year.

[ivysangel]

I am dead serious when I say that you guys need to start giving writers feedback more often. I have a fic here that has a total of 4015 notes and only 218 aren't likes. So, let me break this down for you a bit.

Of 4015 notes, 186 are reblogs and 32 are comments. Two reblogs, as well as comments, are mine so I'll subtract them from the equation making the total number of notes 4011 (184 rbs, 30 comments, 3,797 likes).

Of the 184 reblogs, 16 are private, meaning they're absolutely useless in spreading and sharing the piece. The remaining 168 consists of 136 reblogs falling under "other reblogs" while only 32 fall under "comments and tags." And of the 32 under "comments and tags," only 9 have something besides a copy of the tags that I included in my initial post.

The 184 reblogs make up 4.6% of the total notes, the reblogs under "comments and tags" make up 0.8% of the total notes, and the reblogs under "comments and tags" with anything besides tags copied from the initial post make up 0.2% of the total notes.

At one point, I reblogged the post, asking if anyone wanted a part two. That's when I got my first comments. The first 6 comments were in response to that, and of the 30 total comments (excluding my own), only two were unrelated to a part two. Which means I can guarantee that I wouldn't have had that many comments had I not posed the question of a sequel fic.

And if I add those 2 comments to the 9 reblogs, I get 0.3% of the total notes on my post that make up the portion of notes that aren't likes, empty reblogs, or comments about a part two. And that's me being generous because two of the reblogs actually do mention a part two.

I also posted a poll asking what people wanted in part two, and that poll got 238 votes. That is 54 people more who voted for what they wanted in a part two that didn't reblog or help push part one.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing people in my notifs liking my posts, but sometimes it's just not enough. It is utterly exhausting waking up to multiple hundreds of notifications and not seeing a single person compliment your work. You guys will like stuff, follow, and then head straight to the inbox asking for more. I know it's been said a hundred times before, but we are not machines; we do this for free in our spare time.

The post in question was written when I was tired out of my mind, and I ended up not liking it, so I let it sit in my drafts. I briefly mentioned it on my blog and was met with one of my followers showing interest in the idea, which prompted me to revise, edit, and post it. It was a gift, as are all fics and pieces of art by writers and artists on this site, and yet it was treated like a commodity.

When people say it's unmotivating they're not kidding. When I had 100+ asks in my inbox, all of them being requests, I felt like I had the worst case of writers block known to man. I would open my inbox and immediately close it because the idea of posting anything knowing the only response would be more requests, was awful.

When people leave little messages in the tags, full-blown commentary, or kind messages in my inbox referencing posts, I feel more motivated than ever. Those responses are what drives me to write more. But when I, and other writers, are being treated like we're here to cook up whatever fantasisies you have in mind, I can't help but side-eye a little.

We wouldn't write if we didn't enjoy it, but the moment it feels like a job, it becomes that much less enjoyable, and then everybody loses. Just send a kind message to your favorite writers every once in a while. I promise it'll make their day.

I would also like to say that as I've written this, I've seen more people like that post. So, there's that.

[chuunyu]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Mizuki is kinda too perfect as a trans character. Their family is accepting and they can pass effortlessly. The only issue they have is really the only one that could be left after that point: society's view of trans people.

But while this is great and I really appreciate how Mizuki is written, handled, whatever, it just makes everything about being a regular transfem hurt even more...

I've been working on a 4 hour video essay about Mizuki for almost a month now and every time I replay parts of the story involving Mizuki's sister Yuuki, I just can't help but begin to break down. The way she has never left Mizuki alone when they were vulnerable, the way she's supported Mizuki with everything she possibly could. Her words, her gifts, her clear love for Mizuki is something I wish I ever had. I've always been alone I feel like. I never had anyone who I was able to comfortably share my femininity with. Even now, I feel like that same femininity isn't something I can share with most trans women I meet.

When I see the things Yuuki says to Mizuki, it's just too much. It's this amazing warmth that I never had and I wonder if I will ever get to have. Even outside the story... I just read an alternate timeline fic where Ena's the one who gets Mizuki out of the closet and not Yuuki. Even that like, it really hurts you know?

Beyond Yuuki, the way that Mizuki presumably doesn't have to put effort into passing is difficult as well. Truly their only obstacle is finding acceptance. And well, for them, there is still the existential obstacle of being trans - being born in the wrong body - but it doesn't stop them from presenting comfortably in a way that they're happy with. Meanwhile, I feel like most trans women don't get to pass. I think I've only known one trans woman who passes.

So now there is not only acceptance (which is more complex and difficult if you don't pass), but also this whole aspect of maintaining constant courage against the negativity of society, which is a tremendously heavy thing. And sure, Mizuki deals with this too, but in a different way. The door for them to blend into society is open, but for those who don't pass, the door might be so hard to find that it might as well not be there.

When I compare myself to Mizuki, I just feel... inadequate. I never meant to do it intentionally but the moment it happened it sent me into a spiral.

"I'll never have what they have."

And I know they're a fictional character and are probably an unattainable standard but idk it just, it's hard not to compare myself? Maybe I'm just stupid.

They're just too perfect, despite how "rough" their story is. I think it's really their downfall in terms of becoming the best possible representation and I mean, I was never expecting that from them. It's just an issue with their character I think, though one that couldn't really be avoided with how the writers wanted to execute their character.

Idk, I love Mizuki but sometimes it hurts when I think about them.