#every time she promises she'll never play in the mud again

[zillychu]

when u play in the mud u don't get licked clean, you get sent to GAY MUDDY BABY JAIL BATHTIME to SOAK

[dolce-tenebra-toscana]

LA SQUADRA ( + Pesca ) A FERRAGOSTO ( an italian festivity with an interesting story but as long as we remember means GRILL, BEER, RELATIVES, FRIENDS, BRISCOLA E IL DIOCANE!! )

* there's a hint of Propesca ( prosciutto x pesca ) sorry not sorry

Risotto ✂️: the politician

- promise he won't talk about politics but ends up doin it anyway

- after 5 drinks he will admit his love for politics is only a facade cause he never went further than middle school

- after 14 drinks he will try to rebulid URSS, explaining his plan in detail to the cat ( poor juan 🤣 )

Prosciutto 🍖: the annoying one

- ghosted the chat till the day before the actual event

- steal the stereo's priviledge , and will put Eros Ramazzotti/Pino Daniele for 5 hours straight

- drinks only high class wine and will look with a disgusted face everything that he considers " roba da poveri "

- his all attitude is tolerated only cause he is dating the one who offered the house for Ferragosto

Formaggio 🧀: the musician wannabe

- will play Jovanotti, and thinks of himself as " cool " for this

- he is the only one actually getting laid at the end of night

- will use cheesy pick up lines with the girls at the party ( and it works )

- says he'll be in the next Grande Fratello edition ( big lie maggio )

Illuso 🔎: the grill man

- feels like the man of the hour ( he is not )

- last time he tried to cook a steak " medium rare " was heavily beaten by the owner of the house

- refuse to cook vegetables on his grill

- will talk shit abot anyone present at the party

Melone 🍈: the nerd

- brings a homemade dessert who is surprisingly good

- bring table games/cards and he is loved for this

- ask to play spin the bottle and he's hated for this

- doesn't understand why the girls aren't playing in the mud wearing bikinis like in his " movies "

Ghiaccio 🧊: the drunk one

- G I G I. D' A G O S T I N O

- wears crocs unironically

- drinks amari like glass of water

- will be recorded doing embarassing shit, will become a meme between the group till Christmas ( when he'll do something even dumber that will be used as blackmail towards him again )

Pesci 🐟: the " fattone "

- brings the frisbee ( and the w**d )

- everybody loves him ( but nobody shows it, except after everybody smoked at least 2 jo*nts )

- wears flip flops and risk 4th degree burnings nearby the grill evertime

- KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE BRISCOLA TABLE ( he is too good at it )

Pesca 🍑: the host

- offers the house everytime, and regrets it

- cooked too much food but there's never leftovers

- the one keeping an eye on the drunk one ( especially after ghiaccio tried to baptize her cat in the barrel of Sangiovese )

- says it's the last time she invites everyone at her house in Siena every year ( after disappearing with Prosciutto for 2 hours she's the one saying she'll host again next Ferragosto)

- the only one actually cleaning the mess the next day