#every time i see something in fanfic i deem ''unrealistic'' i should. ask myself Why.

[theokusgallery]

I just realised I've always thought of fanfics/romances in general where two characters are attracted to each other at first sight unrealistic. Because I am asexual. God I'm such a fucking idiot

[kinda-iconic]

I'm not sure if this is the place to ask, but do you have any tips on how to write sibling relationships in fanfiction? I've looked around here on Tumblr, but all I find are those "You can tell an author's an only child when" posts that offer no help. I would like to give my characters siblings sometimes, but I am an only child so can't really relate, which means all of my characters are only children too. Which is fine, but sometimes you want to try something different. I'm afraid to try because somebody will say that's not right or call it unrealistic. It's frustrating when people exclude only child writers from creating their own sibling characters because our parents said "one and done".

I honestly have no idea why people exclude writers because they don’t have siblings; I bet that not all authors/playwrights/screenwriters have siblings! I know its a little bit different, but I started writing a ‘novel’ about a crime where the main protagonist has a sister when I don’t have a sister myself. I may have a sibling, but my relationship with my brother is probably not similar to someone else’s relationship with their sister. 

The majority of fanfics I have written are for stories that are based in the US - I’m from England; as long as it is factually accurate, it doesn’t matter. 

The same goes for writing siblings when you don’t have any. 

I don’t really have much personal experience with writing sibling relationships besides a couple of fanfics. I have written fics that focus on the sibling-like relationship between Adrian/Kamilah and Harry/Edmund and my D&D MC.  However, speaking as a person that has written little bits here and there, and who also has an older brother, I am able to offer you advice of sorts; its not great if I’m honest, but I can write a little bit based on my relationship with my brother. If it isn’t helpful, then I do apologise. 

I’ll add a read more underneath so that people who don’t want to read me rambling can skip it :) 

- The ‘Marmite’ approach: This is probably something that I invented in my randomness if I’m honest. I’m not going to go into what Marmite is as it isn’t important (tis nice tho!), but would rather focus on its motto - you either love it or you hate it. Someone’s relationship with their sibling isn’t always like this; do I always like/get along with my brother? No. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about him when he has annoyed or upset me. A lot of the time, at least what I’ve seen, writers often focus on those sibling relationships that are either really good or those that cannot stand to be in the same room as one another. My brother and I don’t always see eye to eye; we both have rather strong personalities that clash more often than not. We’re not best friends, and often have things that we do not like about the other. Having a story where a character and their sibling/s get along all the time is good don’t get me wrong, but it’s important to remember that not every relationship is like that. 

- Siblings are not always alike in personality and appearance; my brother and I look alike to some extent - we have the same hair/eye colour, and we both have freckles on our faces, but that’s as far as it goes really. He’s super tall and I’m very short (5ft 7 is short when standing next to someone that is 6ft+) - even twins that are deemed identical can appear different and/or have different personalities. One sibling may like sports and the other may be fond of the arts! My brother, for example, is an extrovert when surrounded by people he knows (as am I), but the moment he’s in a situation where he’s surrounded by people that he does not know, he can be the complete opposite, whereas I am often more confident when meeting/speaking to new people. He won’t even acknowledge that I exist when he’s around friends, but as soon as he isn’t or those friends of his bring people over that he feels less comfortable with, it’s like I am suddenly the only one that he can talk to. 

- Siblings may often react differently to situations, even those that are traumatic and/or upsetting; I am a very emotional person - I wear my heart on my sleeve, and cry at almost everything. My brother, however, is not like that. I honestly don’t think I have ever seen him cry; he probably has, but he doesn’t express his emotions like I do. We’re the polar opposites, but that isn’t to say that there are not siblings out there that react similarly to one another.

- Names: Okay, so I have never met anyone that does refer to their sibling/greet their sibling by ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ etc. My brother and I address each other by using nicknames mostly, often ones that aren’t actually nice. It’s been our routine for so long that we are no longer phased by it.

- Relationships with parents and/or other family members are not always the same. My brother and I both have an amazing relationships with both of our parents, but I know from others that sometimes one sibling does not feel the same way as the other - similar/same experiences = often different reactions.

- The topic of one parent having a favourite child is a tricky one; we always joke that my brother is my Mum’s favourite, as he seems to be able to do no wrong, but that has never caused a rift between myself and him or us and our parents. Some siblings, however, may feel resentment if a parent does show signs of having a favourite, both for the parent in question and maybe even the sibling. 

- Some people feel comfortable telling their siblings things that they may not be ready to tell their friends or even their parents; I am often an open book, so anything I tell my friends I will most likely tell my family, but there have been instances in my life where my brother has told me things that he won’t tell my parents for weeks. Just a couple of weeks ago he told me about how he was interested in working abroad, but only told my mum yesterday. Sometimes siblings can feel more comfortable talking to one another than they would people outside - maybe it’s because they face similar pressure? I’m not too sure. 

- Using age as an advantage is a good point too; my brother is 3/4 years older than me, and will often use his age to get one up i.e. ‘I get the bigger piece of cake because I’m older’ or ‘I have more life experience so I should make this decision.’

- Resentment of younger siblings? May be an issue - not applicable in my situation, but it can be a factor.

- Competitiveness: Seeing nearly every event/milestone as a competition. I am often guilty of this - my brother likes reminding me that he got a higher grade for his degree... so I remind him that I left school with more qualifications than him. The need to ‘one up’ each other can be there.

That’s all that I have at the moment; I am sorry if it didn’t help. Please do let me know if there is anything else that I can do for you.