#every single fucking time there's massive delays; parts of the train breaking down; whole trains breaking down

[nexiva]

You made me hate you

Part 3

Bucky x reader

Warnings: swearing, even more hate than in previous chapters :)

Summary: You finally get to “talk” with Bucky (more like “scream at him”.)

A/N: So sorry guys for the delay. The exam season is over so expect a new chapter tomorrow😏

Masterlist

A week had passed since the Winter Soldier became my new personal nightmare. Seven agonizing days of having him in my space, training in my gym, eating in my kitchen, existing in my world. And every single second of it made my blood boil.

I wasn’t just angry anymore. I was livid. Fury burned in my chest like an open wound every time I so much as caught a glimpse of him. He was always there, always hovering, like a specter I couldn’t exorcise. And the worst part? No one else seemed to care. They had all moved on as if this was normal, as if this wasn’t a complete betrayal.

Natasha had tried to talk to me about it. “You have to work with him, Y/N,” she’d said, like it was that simple, like I could just turn off the memories of my sister’s lifeless arms falling from around me. Steve, of course, had tried the whole ‘he wasn’t in control’ speech, and Tony? Well, he kept throwing around words like ‘team dynamics’ and ‘greater good.’

None of them understood. None of them ever would.

Oh and of course mr. “I didn’t know what I was doing” Barnes? He acted like he was trying…to stay out of my way. Trying not to meet my gaze. Trying not to give me a reason to lash out. But I didn’t need a reason. He was the reason. His very presence was enough to set me off and today was no different.

I walked into the gym, ready to finally get a moment of peace, but of course, there he was. Hitting the punching bag like he owned the place. The recruits were gone, leaving just the two of us in the massive space. He glanced at me, and I saw it again—guilt, hesitation, something I didn’t care to name.

“Hey, umm Y/….” he started, his voice low.

“No.” I cut him off immediately, marching straight to the locker to grab my gear.

I ripped off my jacket and threw it onto the bench, grabbing my gloves. I could feel his eyes on me, like he was waiting for me to break, to soften, to give him even an inch of understanding. He was going to be waiting a long damn time.

I moved to the ring, needing to hit something, anything, but before I could even start, he spoke again. “I get it,” he said, voice annoyingly steady. He started to get really close to me. Too close. “I really do.”

I scoffed, finally turning to glare at him. “Get the fuck away from me! You don’t get anything.”

He took a step backwards and I tensed even more at his movement but he just leaned against the ropes. “You think I don’t know what I did?” he asked, voice rough. “You think I don’t replay it every damn day?”

I clenched my fists. “Good. I hope it eats you alive.”

Silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating.

He exhaled, shaking his head. “You’re enjoying it aren’t you? You want to make my life a living hell.”

And with that, I couldn’t hold back any longer.

“How fucking dare you?” My voice was sharp, laced with anger. “Is this some kind of sick game to you?”

I stepped closer until our eyes met, my fury burning against his unreadable expression.

“I don’t want to hear you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t even want to breathe the same air as you in this building. And don’t you dare think that ‘time’ will make things better between us—because it won’t.”

For a moment, his gaze faltered. I thought he might back away, escape this unbearable tension. But instead, he stood his ground, looking down at me, silent but unwavering.

“I have no interest in getting to know you,” I continued, my voice cold as steel. “I don’t care about your so-called motives. I don’t want to understand you. And I sure as hell don’t want you anywhere near me. Do you hear me?”

I turned sharply, channeling my rage into the only thing that wouldn’t fight back. My fist crashed into the punching bag with force, each strike fueled by the image of his face.

If he thought a week of silence meant I was moving on, he was sorely mistaken.

This war between us was far from over.

[aro-aizawa]

anyways, since the idea won’t leave me alone here’s my pitch for a prince of the galra keith au where lotor doesn’t exist and canon is just a suggestion i guess. (under a cut part ways in bc uhhh it’s like 3.7k words. rip.)

for starters: krolia is human and zarkon’s his dad. a nightmare idea, i know bc uhhhh the same thing that occurs w thinking about how lotor exists is uhh “zarkon fucks?” yeah. yeah he does. which uhhhhh yeah. but bare w me here, bc he’s still an utter dick in this au and krolia is still a badass. 

in this au, krolia was married to mr shirogane and had shiro before leaving earth on a garrison solo mission to pluto. she collided with a stolen galra ship manned by a prisoner who was trying to flee the empire, though the galra ship wasn’t damaged her ship was completely destroyed but she managed to survive for the prisoner to bring her aboard. together they tried to escape the empire, but they got caught. the prisoner was executed and krolia was taken to the arena. 

(earth believes she crashed her ship in the rings of saturn, and honor her death. no solo manned missions to space anymore, and certainly not to places humans haven’t been before. it also delays plans to send more people up there, so the next manned mission isn’t until shiro’s mission to kerberos. mr shirogane dies a five years before that mission.)

there she fought viciously and won literally every single one of her fights with only a dagger she’d earned early on in her battles. even when they provided bigger weapons, she always came on top with just a knife which earned her high praise and approval. enough to gain zarkon’s attention. 

idk why but he forces her to marry him, and when shiro’s 9 years old and krolia’s been in space for 5 years, keith’s born. he doesn’t actually go by keith at this point though because i doubt zarkon would let krolia name him that. not quite sure on what he’d go by though i quite like kyix of discordiansamba’s burgundy. krolia wanted to name him keith, and so calls him that when they’re alone as a secret nickname. 

keith doesn’t look fully human. a la lotor style i guess, he looks human but has purple skin and yellow sclera. pointy zarkon-ish ears and fangs. he’s still tiny as fuck though and doesn’t grow, to which he’s furious about bc galra are big and he’s a shorty but no one mentions it to his face otherwise he’d stab them right where they stand. 

krolia tries her best to raise him w good morals and lessen zarkon’s influence on him but she doesn’t fully manage it. he’s willing to please zarkon even if he’s not cruel about it, and he does wish for the best for the empire but knowing that his father’s reigned for over ten thousand years, he knows he’s probably never going to sit on the throne himself. doesn’t prevent him from getting all the training a prince would need (including a lot of combat training). 

he’s never told much about earth because krolia finds it hard to talk about. she does tell him about humans as a species and teaches him the three earth languages she knows, korean (her native language), japanese (mr shirogane’s native language) and english. she especially doesn’t tell him about shiro, but she does say that she left a husband and her family behind on earth, that she misses them a lot. 

back on earth, shiro goes to kerberos when he’s 26 (two years older than canon) and they still get caught. most canonical events in the year time zone go almost exactly the same. shiro gets sent to the arena, matt and sam still get sent off to the camps before matt’s broken out by the resistance, katie goes undercover as pidge, and lance and hunk are just regular dudes, but lance is in fighter class straight off the bat. 

(to earth, shiro crashes the ship and dies just like his mother did. which is......all kinds of sad to think about.)

except when shiro lands on earth, the garrison trio decide to break shiro out on their own. they then steal a jeep and head out into the desert, finding a nice guy who owns a shack (canon keith’s father but not in this au, who im gonna call mr fireman bc he doesn’t have a canon name). he’s been doing some investigating some funky stuff (the lion), and lets the kids crash at his place bc kids shouldn’t be wandering the desert w/o any supplies at night it’s dangerous. 

anyways, the shack conversation all goes almost exactly the same w mr fireman taking keith’s place. he goes with the kids, but he doesn’t get in the blue lion, she doesn’t let him in. mr fireman parts ways with the kids friendly-like, and the four of them head off to arus. 

things.....largely? stay the same? when it comes to stealing the red lion off the ship, they actually have to get the lions to drag it out of the cargo bay because they don’t have a pilot for it but as long as the lion is out of the empire’s hands, that’s all that matters although allura does try to pilot it when sendak’s ship is destroyed. due to having no pilot, they can’t retrieve black for shiro. so they only have three active lions, but three lions are still pretty powerful. 

from there i haven’t exactly worked out all the kinks but somehow they get in contact with rebels from their steady liberation of galra-controlled planets. they do small targets, taking out the weakest on the fringe of the empire and build up footholds while building the coalition. shiro fights with them on the ground, and using the castle with coran and allura when it’s not possible. sometimes he rides along with the other paladins. 

sometime before they go the galactic hub, and skipping over crystal venom entirely, they join forces with the rebels and the coalition to pull off a mission to kill zarkon. they’d received intelligence to suggest that he’s visiting a less secure ship, to oversee a project for a few days. instead of taking the lions and just blasting the ship to pieces, they decide to infiltrate and take him out stealth like to guarantee his death. 

only the information is faulty because it’s keith there instead of zarkon. 

when they learn that keith is zarkon’s son.......they kidnap him. 

their goal was to hold him hostage and/or interrogate him for weak spots in the empire, but somehow they end up thinking “hm maybe he can be redeemed bc his dad is literally an asshole and ehhh he can’t help who his parents are?” so they give him a chance....tentatively. 

keith, seeing this huge opportunity to sabotage his father’s greatest opponents and eventually steal the lions back for his father, takes this absolutely for granted and fakes his redemption. he basically pulls a lotor, and ends up helping them in certain areas but sabotaging them in others. he’s unable to report back to his father for spying purposes, but he does leave clues and/or hints to weaknesses somehow. all the while, the real reason for these things going wrong isn’t thought of. 

all the while, the paladins are trying to bond with keith. trying to get him to redeem himself, and they end up really liking him even though he’s still rather a loner, doesn’t pretend to be nice and trains like every day. he particularly gets along with shiro, the two of them forming a close bond that keith had not planned or counted on. 

allura is the only one who’s still suspicious of keith. she’s not....hostile. not really, she pretty much acts like she does in canon when keith’s heritage gets out. though they do have a few moments where they could maybe see eye to eye. she’s still apprehensive and unwilling to think that zarkon’s son could be anything but evil. 

this pays off when she investigates a major hit to the castle that renders it unfit for battle for a time and finds that keith was responsible for it. 

at this point, keith has been seriously reconsidering his allegiances. thinking that maybe the right thing to do really was to redeem himself and help out voltron and coalition. he’s not completely blind to the shitty things zarkon did, he’s well aware but he figures that maybe getting his father’s approval isn’t worth all the suffering of others nor something to desire. 

allura attacks keith and calls him out in front of everyone. providing evidence of literally all the times that keith’s fucked them all over. the team feel betrayed, keith is super guilty, and allura’s just pissed. keith doesn’t get a chance to explain before he’s thrown into a prison cell on the castle to wait until voltron can contact the coalition and decide what to do with him because it’s clear that zarkon hasn’t exactly been hurrying to find him. 

but then zarkon attacks the castle of lions with a massive fleet headed by haggar, a force that’s way too much for just three lions to take on while the castle’s defenses are still down. the whole team is in trouble and it pretty much starts to seem like zarkon’s gonna win and the paladins are gonna get killed. 

until the red lion reaches out for keith. 

so he breaks out of prison (that he could have done within minutes of being confined there), and heads to the hangar. he jumps in and uses the element of surprise to disable the fleet enough to make them need to retreat. 

the paladins are freaking out because uhhhh who the hell is the pilot of the lion? they do a little sound off like “allura that’s not you? coran? shiro?” but then keith uses the lion to communicate and basically says “sorry i broke out jail”. 

when they get back to the castle keith awkwardly does a heartfelt explanation of his plans and how the paladins actually did sort of make him want to redeem himself and realise just how much zarkon needs to get murked and stuff. he apologises for fucking them over and he even offers to go with whatever punishment they decide to dish out with no retaliation. 

the team go off and talk for a while. debating if they could really trust him anymore. allura is adamantly against it, pissed off that he’d already betrayed her trust after all zarkon did and the fact he piloted her father’s lion. lance joins her, upset he trusted him at all. pidge and hunk are apprehensive, pointing out that the lion must have seen the good in him to choose him. shiro believes in what keith’s saying and has faith in the kid to actually redeem himself. 

they tell him he can stay but the only reason he’s not dead and/or serving time in prison is bc he’s the red paladin. they make a lot of rules about what he’s allowed to do and not to do though, which keith doesn’t enjoy but he doesn’t complain about them. one of them is that he’s only allowed to fight the empire in the red lion and no on the ground stuff. 

now that the team have the red lion’s paladin they awaken the black lion and they form voltron for the first time. it’s badass, and the liberating of planets goes even faster than before. 

the paladins start to bond again even slower than before bc they need to rebuild that trust. it goes....pretty rockily considering the fact that keith is still pretty prickly in personality, and the others aren’t entirely convinced he’s actually changed sides. but shiro is essentially the only one that actually makes any headway in rebuilding the trust/relationship. 

one night he asks about keith’s mom. bc human far out in space? as far as the team knew there should have only been them and the holts, so he’s definitely curious. keith tells him about a pilot who’d been picked up in their solar system after their ship got destroyed and took them as prisoner. he tells shiro all about his mom and what she taught him of earth. 

but shiro. he starts to wonder who on earth this pilot was. because, uh, only very few pilots have gone missing in space and one of them is important to him. so he asks her name. keith replies krolia. shiro asks “as in...krolia kogane?” and keith’s like yeah. 

shiro mentally freaks out, doing mental acrobats all over the place but his thoughts mostly boiling down to a mixture of “HOLY SHIT MY MOM’S ALIVE” and “HOLY SHIT I HAVE A HALF-BROTHER WHO’S AN ALIEN PRINCE”. he manages not to let keith know he’s freaking out, and excuses himself. 

they end up doing a covert blood test and yup keith is shiro’s half brother. this earns him points in “okay yeah he’s capable of change if we warm up to him”, so the team start to treat him more favorably, not that keith is aware of this new revelation. so it’s common knowledge to the ship minus keith. shiro tries even harder to bond w his little brother, bc uhhh yeah he’s never had a little brother and he definitely likes keith so far even though he was a little evil for a while. 

keith at some point expresses to shiro why he’s fine with not telling zarkon that keith’s on the paladins’ side. that his mother would most likely be killed for turning him against zarkon due to the fact that paladins are humans, and that she’s still at central command completely unable to get away. like a glorified prisoner because, well, she is. 

shiro suggests to the team that they pull off a rescue mission to free krolia, not only for keith’s sake but for shiro’s sake too. plus the fact that she’d been a prisoner for twenty three years. which then kicks of the finale of season 1. (yes we’re still in season 1. it should have been way longer than it actually was.)

things go largely the same, except that in allura’s place it’s krolia. when keith charges at zarkon his identity is revealed to him. they manage to rescue krolia, keith fights zarkon and thace destroys the shield holding them in place. they don’t go through a corrupted wormhole though. 

then there’s a cute heartfelt reunion between keith and krolia. during which keith emotes more than he ever has in front of the paladins, who have pretty much all accepted that yep keith’s a good guy now considering he almost fought to the death with zarkon. 

but then shiro steps up and calls krolia mom which confuses the fuck out of keith, the only one who doesn’t know. krolia shakily says “Kashi?” and they tearfully hug, krolia completely caught off guard that her other son wasn’t on earth where she left him. keith is confusion until krolia explains, and keith asks if that means shiro is his brother. they say yes and they have a big old threeway hug, to which lasts for like an hour because its big family bonding time. everyone is happy for them.

you’d think, huh is this the end of the au? this is pretty long already.....nope!! we’re just getting started!!! (this thing is a monster......hence why im never going to even attempt to write it out lmao)

we go into season 2 where krolia starts to talk to the others about the rebel galra group that she helped and kind of joined called the blade of marmora. she tells them that there was a galra named thace who kept her in the loop about keith, and the goings on of voltron. she tells them that they would be a very good ally in the fight against zarkon. 

shiro then backs this story up with his memory of how ulaz helped him escape jail, and says that they should trust them. the team tentatively agree, but decide not to immediately go to them and focus more on building the coalition. krolia pulls keith aside and gives them a knife that they had given her to protect herself as zarkon prohibited her to carry weapons. its keith’s marmora blade that she was unable to activate because of her lack of galra blood, but they gave it to her to protect herself anyways. 

canon largely stays the same for a while. zarkon still does the tracking thing, except when allura and keith go out in a pod, krolia comes with them. they have a little thing where they make clear with each other where they stand and end up having a little fun despite the tense atmosphere until the castle is attacked by zarkon.

when the team meet up with the blades, keith demands why they didn’t help krolia themselves. they’d already proved with shiro that they could free prisoners if they wanted to, and demands to know why they didn’t risk it for krolia. he wants to know why they never took a bigger part in taking down the empire and why they never stepped forwards to work with voltron themselves instead of letting the team come to them. 

kolivan says that he only gets the answers, an alliance between them and gets to keep the blade if he joins as a member of their order and take the trials. keith accepts. the rest of the blades however, don’t like the idea that the son of zarkon was joining up and taking the trials. but when keith passes and pretty much immediately tries to kill memory zarkon on sight, he proves himself to them. the blades ally with the coalition and voltron. 

again, season 2 goes quite a lot like canon. except!!! in the finale they actually do end up killing zarkon along with haggar and shiro doesn’t go missing! hurray!!! 

but. that means with no prince lotor, and a dead zarkon instead of comatose zarkon, there’s no one to lead the empire. hence a kral zera is called. 

(here is where i mention i have vague memories of s3 onwards and haven’t seen past s4. so i don’t...actually know how most canon events from here on out go in explicit detail. its all pretty vague.)

the plan from there is for keith to attend and win. if he gets crowned the new emperor, he could officially announce the end of the war, and significantly reduce the amount of fighting the resistance would have to do to bring peace to the known universe. the coalition & blades don’t fully trust keith however, thinking that once keith is on the throne he’ll just betray them. 

keith understands and explains he doesn’t actually want the throne. he suggests that they just kill everyone on the planet when the kral zera is called, with no more candidates, the empire will be severely fractured and would still be easier to defeat than having a leader. in the end, they go with the idea of having keith become emperor, but the coalition there in case people fight back against his orders. 

keith wins, some back down and obey and some don’t. the coalition and voltron take down those that fight back, and from there it’s a lot of “keith orders galra to release planets and those that don’t, get liberated by the resistance”. its a lot of politics where keith frees all the prisoners of the empire, lets them get back to their home planets and finds sam returning him to pidge and matt. 

he sets up a colony in an empty solar system for the civilian galra to live governed by the blades, while he sees to it that those that were soldiers are put on trial and punished for their various crimes. 

again, still not entirely sure what happens in late canon, but i guess from there it does the whole...sendak takes earth thing? but it’s actually a pretty easy mission considering they have the might of the entire coalition (which is almost the entire universe at that point) and the blades and voltron. but after the defeat of sendak there pretty much isn’t any opposing galra resistance to keith’s reign? so from then on it’s just the paladins, allura, coran and krolia back on earth experiencing things. 

krolia busts into the garrison like “hey guess who’s not dead! also meet my alien son who’s king of an entire race of people, and my other son who’s leader of the universe’s most powerful weapon also with a sick glowing arm”. the garrison sweats under the pure power and skill the three of them exude. especially when krolia utterly annihilates all records on their simulators/actual ships. and then keith and shiro join in on it too and they end up giving them all the awards and accolades bc no one is going to top that ever. 

the paladins go to disneyland. keith is still technically emperor but considering the blades have been overseeing all galra activity anyways, he’s not really needed. so he just bums around earth for a while, getting to know the other half of his heritage that he never really got to. 

krolia meets mr fireman and they end up getting together bc krolia deserves good things and a desert hermit who helped get shiro back into space and eventually to her with is a good thing. they still live out in the shack tho bc mr fireman is committed to it at that point, bc he ended up living there through sendak’s invasion pretty well. 

and then uh i think that’s pretty much it. keith is a normal teenager, allura and coran get puzzled by human shit, lance reconnects w his family, hunk does too and cooks a bunch of food and pidge works w the garrison in making it less shitty while also just tagging along with whatever dumb things they decide to experience. 

end of au!!!!

[rpchive]

118th Encounter-- Slowly and Surely

progress!

Cautiously, Clair approaches the training room, unsure of how to approach coming near the door. Stepping to the side of it instead, she gently knocks, waiting to see if the storm inside calms before she tries to enter. A loud but unintelligible conversation continues inside, unaffected by Clair's attempt to get attention. Clair presses her head up against the wall in an attempt to listen in. Daedalus: -care about this fucking place anyway? The more they try to do, the closer this whole things gets to crumbling to the ground! What does it matter what I do if everyone else is just gonna slam themselves into a brick wall until they finally give out?

Voltarus: Things are not as bleak as they seem, nor are they as self-destructive as you imagine. You need to focus. I know what your condition is doing to you; you need to try and see past your delusions-

Daedalus: I am not delusional! It's everyone else that's gone off their fucking rocker! Have you seen what these idiots are doing to themselves?

Voltarus: The situation is difficult, I'll give you that. The others are struggling with a new type of foe and how to deal with it. What matters is what you do now to deal with the problem before it truly does pass the point of no return. Taking a deep breath, Clair nods decisively before carefully attempting to open the door. The door opens with no resistance, but an intense wave of heat blasts out from inside as she makes her way in. Voltarus and Daedalus appear to be pacing in a circle facing each other in the center of the room. Flames drip down from Daedalus' arms like napalm and continue to burn for some time on the floor, forming a misshapen ring of fire around the pair. Voltarus' attention is drawn to Clair as she steps inside, causing Daedalus to turn and look in the same direction. His furious scowl deepens slightly as he sees her.

Daedalus: Oh good, another one. Here to chime in with sunshine over here? Flinching from a mix of the comment and the heat, Clair forces herself to steady her gaze as she closes the door behind herself. "...What else could I do? Nobody else can talk to you right now...or maybe they don't know what to say...but somebody has to do something..." Daedalus: That's the fucking problem!

Daedalus brings his fists up and then swings them down in a sharp motion that sends two massive plumes of fire out to his sides. "Everyone always feels like they have to stick their nose in every little problem they come across, and it means nothing in the grand fucking scheme of it all! There's nothing to be gained from this and everything to lose! Why should I bother helping a group of people that just want to drive themselves off a goddamn cliff?" Clair: And what else should we do? Maybe we can't fix everything; I mean, there's always a problem that's bigger than us somewhere; but if we stopped doing anything at all? Kleivenn are being hunted to extinction by their own kind due to the aftermath of a war; without us, they'd all be weaponized or dead. If nobody had sealed whatever ate the Earth from Silky and XL's universe, it would've kept eating planets until it was the only thing left. Paprika and Maya would've died; Jay and Demo would've kept being used as tools; and you? Maybe we can't fix everything, but we're doing something, and it matters!! Daedalus: Like hell it does! Entropy gets everything in the end, we're just delaying the inevitable! You wanna see me do something? I'll show you what I can fucking do-

Daedalus turns and strides toward Clair, only to be grabbed from behind by Voltarus, pinning his arms to his sides. A sudden draft pulls Daedalus' flames behind the pair and away from Clair. Voltarus looks at Clair from over Daedalus' shoulder.

Voltarus: Talking doesn't seem to be much good for him this time. I think you need to use a more direct method to calm him down! There is a moment where Clair seems to want to object, though she quickly decides to take Voltarus up on their offer. Taking Daedalus' head in her hands, she places her head against his, only really asking for him to calm down. Daedalus struggles to break himself away from both Clair and Voltarus for several seconds, but eventually Clair's influence pushes through. Fire stops seeping out from his body, and the residual flames on the floor around the room begin to die down. Daedalus' frantic breathing finally begins to slow down, and Clair feels his weight lean into her as his eyes close. Voltarus carefully releases him from his grip, allowing Daedalus to put his hands on Clair's shoulders as he sinks into her for support. Letting go of Daedalus to hold him on the off chance that he collapses, Clair speaks softly. "...I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is hurting you...I'm sorry everyone's getting hurt...I'm sorry we can't do more..." Daedalus is quiet for several seconds before he finally responds. "I... I'm the one that should be sorry. I was starting to lose track of myself, and all I could think about was how angry I was about everything. This stupid brainwashing shit Lobotomy did is... really annoying. Please don't take what I say to heart if I start getting like this. I'm upset, but..." Clair: ...It's okay. Will you be alright...? Daedalus: ... I don't know. I don't think I'll feel better until everything's back to normal again. I just...

He pushes Clair away, gently but firmly, and takes a few steps away from Clair and Voltarus as he runs his hands down his face.

"Fucking hell, between everything that's happened recently I just don't see how I'm actually doing anything here. Demo's still not really herself because I couldn't stop that poker playing fuck-stick from biting her soul in half, and... I still think about that fight with Azreldeh's sister back in the mirror. You don't remember this, but I would've failed to get you back from her if that huge fucking demon king hadn't stepped in and stopped the fight. I've failed both of you in pretty short fucking order, and I just... don't know what I'm doing anymore." Clair: ...I don't think you failed. You didn't know what that devil was gonna do to Demo; and, well, I don't know enough about the mirror incident to put my two cents in there, but, I mean, if you were trying your hardest, then there's nothing to blame... Daedalus: If my best isn't cutting it, then what's the point of me even going out there?

Voltarus: The problem isn't that your best isn't enough; it's that you haven't even reached your potential yet.

Daedalus: ... The hell is that supposed to mean?

Voltarus: We purposefully avoided interfering directly in your adventures up until now to see how you've been handling things before we were properly awoken. Perhaps the blame partly lies with us for waiting so long to intervene, and for that we apologize. That being said, your ability to control our power has been... rudimentary. You've grasped the basics of channeling my power specifically, there is much more for you to learn, should you choose to.

Daedalus: And you're just now deciding to share that little tidbit of information? Voltarus: Better now than even later, eh? Truthfully, your ability to see your own limits is a good sign. We firmly believe you can rise to meet the task ahead of you, but smiting a devil will be no easy task. Clair: So...are you gonna help him? Voltarus: Of course! If he chooses to take us on the offer, that is.

Daedalus: If it means getting closer to piledriving that bastard into the dirt for good, I'm all in.

Voltarus: Excellent! We begin immediately! Our first task then should be ridding you of that desire for revenge.

Daedalus: ... Wait hang on what?

listen I know this was a chill log but that line still scared the shit out of me because after Law I literally do not know what to expect from your guys anymore

Voltarus: Your single-minded desire to destroy whatever problem you're facing robs you of the broad range of our powers. If you truly wish to grow into your power, then you must grow as an individual first. A selfish desire for revenge does not a hero make.

Daedalus: ... I can't believe this. We're starting with self-help talks? You got five easy steps to have a happier attitude while you're at it?

Voltarus: Indeed! Although that's not part of your training for now.

Daedalus: Oh for- Alright, look, if it means learning more tricks than fire hammers, then I'll humor you. Clair, you don't have to stick around for this. It's only a matter of time before he lights a campfire and starts trying to get us to sing "Kumbaya" or some crap like that. Clair: Well, maybe not, but if something else weird happens, someone else should stick around in case you need help, right? Daedalus: I... can't argue with that. Falling back into my old mindset is really annoying, and it's gonna be hard to remember anything if I have another weird memory gap happen. Clair: Then I'll stay here unless I have to leave. Voltarus: Then it's settled! Now, let's begin!

Daedalus grumbles something as he turns back and follows the pair as Voltarus begins setting up an area to sit.

[Meanwhile...]

Azreldeh quickly flees Firefly's Botania room as Firefly swears after her, hastily hurrying out as well. "...The flowers don't need magic, they make it! And...what gave you the idea that your magic would be good for anything?!"

Azreldeh: L-look, I said I was sorry--...!!

Firefly: Sorry won't make all those sprites go away, and it won't stop more from showing up!! You made this mess!! You make every mess!! Collin stops making his way down the hallway as the pair spill out of Firefly's door, one hand still pressed against the wall to help balance himself. He glances between the two for a second before speaking up. "Uh, is everything okay?" Firefly: Of course not!! Azreldeh made a huge mess!!

Azreldeh: D-don't come this way, they're gonna start pouring out into the hall soon...!!

Firefly: Ugh, whatever! Even if they do; sprites are harmless until provoked; so just...don't touch anything...! Collin: Well, it can't be that bad if they're harmless, right? How many are there? Azreldeh: Right now? Dozens. But uhh...more are showing up...

Firefly: They're all spilling out because you tried to feed one of my flowers your infernal magic!! They're going to chase you because you're a demon!! Get out!!

Azreldeh: Hey, I can't just step out of the ship...! ...What am I supposed to do...?

Firefly: I don't care, just...go somewhere else!! Collin: I'd offer to help, but I'm out of commission for a bit. Maybe you can get the pantheon to help? In the meantime, uh... Azreldeh, why don't we go somewhere that isn't here? Azreldeh: ...Right! Where to...? Your room...? Collin: Uh, sure? That's where I was headed anyway. Just bear with me, I'm a little slow right now. Nodding, Azreldeh heads in Collin's direction, keeping close in case he needs her support. "...Let me know if you need help; I can carry you if I have to." Collin: It's not that bad. I've just been spoiled by how well my prosthetic mimics normal movement normally. Remind me to thank Barbell the next time we see him. Azreldeh: Hopefully sooner than later...I'm sorry you guys got dragged into this... Collin: It happens. I just wish I hadn't made things even worse... I've turned this into a real mess. Azreldeh: ...You? No, you haven't done anything... Collin: I mean, I pulled in devil magic so now he can just do whatever with me. That doesn't sound like nothing to me... Azreldeh: But that hasn't made the situation worse! Jay's still safe, and so are we...! ...For the most part. This sprite thing was kind of a mistake on my part, ahah... Collin: What was the deal with that, anyway? I didn't think you were a green thumb sort of person. Azreldeh: Well, I just figured I could actually try to do something helpful around here for once, but I guess my magic's just inherently harmful to its surroundings... Collin: I don't think that's true. You just haven't found the right gap to fill, that's all. Azreldeh: ...Maybe so. Well, whatever, as long as nobody else gets messed up, I don't care. Collin: I'll try my best not to cause any other problems, then. Not that I can... really guarantee that. Azreldeh: L-look, the only problem we're gonna have in a minute is all those sprites coming to find me, and you're still pretty close... Collin: If my room's too close, we can go somewhere further back. I thought they were harmless though? Azreldeh: Maybe they are, but Firefly said they wouldn't like me... Collin: Well, let's just get somewhere where you won't get swarmed by a bunch of angry pixies then. Azreldeh: I...really don't think there's a place like that on this ship right now...

Azreldeh glancing behind herself has grown significantly more apparent. Collin: Oh, uh...? What should we do, then? Azreldeh: I, uhh...!! You can't run, so, uhh...!! ...I...messed this up already!!

Turning around, Azreldeh faces the ocean of sprites that are rapidly drifting towards the pair down the hallway. "...Brace yourself!! Even if they're harmless to most people, you've still been cursed by a devil...!!"

As the sprites close in on the pair, a muffled  crackling sound fills the air. Shielding herself with her wings, Azreldeh braces herself for retaliation only to find the sprites are prioritizing Collin instead. Stunned, she starts yanking them out of the air and shouting at them to try and get their attention to no avail.

The magical current within a single sprite seems to do no harm to Azreldeh, but with hundreds upon thousands of them up close, the current seems to have amplified for each sprite surrounding another. Unifying their efforts, the wall of pink sprites attempts to fire a massive bolt of magic at Collin, only for it to curve moments before impact, firing into the crowd and incinerating the vast majority of the sprites. Azreldeh, however, seems unharmed by the attack.

Fearing the force that turned their magics against them, the remainder of the sprites disperse, leaving Collin and Azreldeh alone in the hall. From the depths, Collin hears Bandit's voice call out to him.

{...You're welcome.}

Collin: ... I... I've never been more conflicted about being saved in my life.

can you even imagine having your life threatened by what’s essentially a wall of pink, glittery cotton balls with wings

Bandit: {What, don't like it? I could put you back in danger if you wanna do it yourself...oh, wait, you can't now, can you? Hahaha!} Collin: Ugh, look, do you need  something or are you just here to gloat? Saving me from a pixie swarm doesn't make up for everything else. Bandit: {I'm just making sure the two of you are alright. Because I can't see the state of your kleivenn without you.} Collin: Well he's not ready for you to try making him destroy an entire universe again yet, I'll tell you that much. Bandit: {As if I care if he's ready or not. I need to know if he's /able/; and he isn't yet...but I'm sure he'll get there sooner rather than later. I'm pretty patient when it comes to investments anyway, so I can hold this out as long as I need to. Can you?} Collin: It's gonna take a lot more than this to crack me, don't you worry about that. Bandit: {Suit yourself. I'll keep watching as long as it takes. Just know you won't be rid of me any time soon.} Collin: We'll see about that... Bandit retreats to his usual distance from the situation at hand, and Azreldeh finally turns her attention to Collin.

"...Are you okay? Those things didn't hit you, huh...?" Collin: No, Bandit bounced the attack back at them. Not exactly happy he can still do magic when I can't, but at least I'm not fried... Are you okay? Azreldeh: Me? Yeah, I'm fine. They tickled a little when I grabbed em, but nothing hurt...I'm just glad you're okay. Collin: Likewise. At least that deals with the pixie problem? Hopefully? Azreldeh: It looked like the last few disappeared. Guess they went back to wherever they came from... Collin: Here's hoping. Anyway, I... guess I'll get back to my room, finally. You're still free to hang around if you want. Better to have you sticking around than the other guy... Azreldeh: Y-yeah...! Uh, also, I guess nobody told you yet, but you shouldn't say the devil's name. They can hear everything around you when you say it... Collin: ... That would've been good to know earlier. Although given my situation, they might be able to hear everything around me anyway... Azreldeh: I'm not so sure about that...I think they're only gonna make contact when something interests them, unless you call their name. That's the one thing demons and devils have in common; we always answer those who call us. Collin: Duly noted, I guess. So the same thing happens with you? Azreldeh: W-well, I guess so...! Collin: You... don't know? I've probably said your name a bunch of times since you've been here. Azreldeh: Yeah, but not to get my attention...! Collin: I guess that's fair. Anything else I should know about all of this while we're at it? Azreldeh: ...Not that I can think of. Just don't say their name unless you want them to know what you're doing. Collin: Got it. So uh, to my room? Azreldeh: ...Wow, I wasn't expecting you to invite me for once! Collin: Well yeah, it's not like I hate you or something. I... still owe you a date, after all. Just don't read too deeply into the invitation... Azreldeh: Heheh, yeah, I know. Alright, let's get you where you're going... Collin finally reaches the door to his room and opens it for Azreldeh before stepping inside himself.

I really do like the little moments between these two

uhh, I forgot how many baby logs we had between Bandit and the fight, jesus. idk when we’re gonna kick his ass now

[banshee-cheekbones]

title: seasons change (but people don’t) [ao3: here]

main pairing: Malia/Kira

rating: G

word count: ~2300 words

written for: for the Femslash Big Bang April Monthly Challenge (where the prompt was ‘changes’), for the ‘social media au’ square on my Teen Wolf Rare Character Bingo card, and for the following prompt sent to me a few months ago by the lovely @veronicabunch: 

"Kira/Malia + "oh god, oh no, oh shit, oh fuck." "um. excuse me, are you okay?" "do I look okay? my life is a mess."

summary: The one where Malia hates airports but is willing to brave the chaos so that she can finally meet Kira in person

Given the choice between spending four hours in a cage full of rabid wolves and spending four hours standing in the middle of an airport, Malia would choose the former every single time.

Even though she’s never flown before, which means she’s bypassed the parts of travelling that people seem to really enjoy whining about, airports are still a test of patience that she just doesn’t have. There’s too much noise, too much movement, too much damn chaos. Children screaming at the top of their lungs, families standing dumb in the middle of the hallways and causing a traffic jam as they peer down at a smartphone, constant announcements overhead, constant rushes of people racing to catch a flight, the wheels of their bags rattling on the tiled floors; it’s all just so much.

If it was anyone else she was picking up at the airport, even if it was her own family, she’d do the same thing she’s been doing for years: she’d make them come to her, meet her in the parking lot outside the arrivals gate.

But this isn’t just her family. This is her girlfriend.

This is Kira.

She’s never met Kira in person, even though they’ve been talking for almost a year and a half and dating for a little over six months. They met online in a discussion board for young musicians that Malia had been frequenting since middle school, when she’d first fallen in love with playing the drums. She’d been scrolling through the board one day before class when she’d come across a new thread posted by a user named foxfire, asking for advice on what drumsticks would be best for someone with absolutely no experience. Malia had jumped in with advice honed from years of users asking the exact same question and, looking back, it was possible that she’d been a little terse, a little snippy.

Okay, she'd been a lot snippy.

But, to her surprise, her response had been followed up with a private message that revealed that, while foxfire didn’t have experience with the drums, they did have musical training that was on the more classical end of the spectrum. That was followed by a few more specific questions that were follow-ups to the information Malia had provided in her response.

Malia had let the message percolate in her inbox for a few days before she finally answered.

Kira had responded only hours later.

Eventually, once their conversation began to veer away from topics unrelated to music, Malia had sent Kira a link to her blog. They’d followed each other and continued talking, leaving comments and likes on each other’s personal posts.

(It was around that time that Malia had received a number of anonymous messages that were all along the lines of you are so amazing!

She’d brought it up to Kira once, later, once they’d moved to Skype and started talking face to face, or the closest thing to it, and while Kira had denied it, her face had been scarlet as she’d done so, and that had given Malia all the answer she’d needed.)

Eventually, barely an hour went by without them talking to each other. It was easy to forget that they hadn’t been best friends since childhood, so long as Malia didn’t think about the thousands of miles between them.

It’d been Kira who brought up becoming something more, one late night while they were Skyping. Kira had been lying on her side in bed in an oversized sweater, loose tendrils of hair falling from her face, breaking out into yawns every so often. Just when Malia had been ready to hang up and let Kira get some sleep, Kira had snuggled deeper into her pillow and murmured seven words.

“You know, my friends think we’re dating.”

“They do?” Malia asked, feeling herself smiling. “Would that be so bad?” She’d meant it as a joke, something to make Kira blush a little; her own friends had been bugging her about the same thing for months, and Malia would have been lying if she said she hadn’t thought about a few times. If it wasn’t for the sheer distance between them, she would have already asked.

Even with the pixelation of the screen, it’d been easy to see the red flush that had spread across Kira’s cheeks, but instead of simply changing the subject, she’d shaken her head and smiled.

“No. I’d like that, actually.”

Kira’s smile had been contagious. Malia felt like an idiot for how quickly a matching grin spread across her face, but there’d been no stopping it even if she had wanted to.

“Yeah. Me too.”

And now, here she is, waiting in what is possibly the most chaotic environment she’s ever stepped foot in, and Kira’s flight was supposed to arrive twenty minutes ago, but there’s absolutely no sign of her, and every time Malia looks up at the multiple screens scattered around the arrivals area, she just ends up more confused.

If she doesn’t figure something out soon, Kira’s first day with her is going to be a disaster.

“Oh God,” she mutters, stepping backwards to avoid getting run over by an entire family with a massive amount of luggage. “Shit. Fuck."

"Excuse me. Are you okay?"

Malia whips around and expects to find herself staring at a TSA agent, ready to escort her out of the airport for loitering. Instead, she’s met with a man who looks to be her own age, frowning softly with concern, noticeably not carrying any luggage.

“Do I look okay?” she snaps, shoving a chunk of hair away from her face. “My girlfriend’s flight was already supposed to be here, and I have no idea where I’m supposed to wait for her, or if her flight has been delayed, or what is happening. This place is a fucking nightmare.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty confusing,” the man agrees. “My girlfriend isn’t getting in for another half hour. I can help you find your gate, if you want?”

Malia raises an eyebrow. Airports don’t seem like the kind of environment to breed kindness, just panic and stress. “You sure?”

“Yeah! I could have used some guidance the first time I had to pick someone up here. Do you know her flight information?” Malia has screencaps of all the information about Kira’s flights, both her arriving and departing ones, and she brings the photos up, keeping an iron grip on her phone with one hand, just in case this whole offer to help turns out to be a play to try and steal her phone.

Thankfully, the guy makes no attempt to do so. He simply peers at Malia’s screen and nods once before he looks up at one of the huge screens dotting the cavernous room. The scrolling text still looks like gibberish to Malia, but he must find something useful in it, because he nods again and points across the vast room.

“They must have changed her gate for some reason,” he says. “Her plane just landed at gate 12. If we move fast, you should be able to catch her just as she gets out.”

“Lead the way,” Malia says, shoving her phone back in her pocket and taking off across the room at her fastest walk. The guy quickly catches up to her, keeps pace without a struggle (which is a feat, she’s been told.)

“I’m Scott, by the way,” he says, right before he effortlessly steps around a couple who are taking a selfie for some godforsaken reason.

“Malia,” she responds. She momentarily debates on sticking her hand out so he can shake it, but that would just slow them down too much, so she settles for a quick nod. “Do you give complimentary tours of this place often?”

“Honestly, pretty much every time I’m here,” he replies with an easy laugh. “My girlfriend travels a lot for business, so I’m usually here at least once a month to pick her up. There’s always someone who needs the help while I wait.”

“The airport should start paying you.”

“Maybe one day,” he says, laughing again. He slows slightly, pulling his phone from his pocket, and his lips crinkle into a frown. “Speaking of my girlfriend, looks like they got in a little early. Do you mind if I-”

“Go for it,” Malia answers, slowing to a stop, even though every nerve in her body demands that she keeps going, that she get to Kira as soon as she can. “Thanks for the help.”

“No problem!” Scott flashes her a beaming grin before he points ahead, the way they were going. “Gate 12 is just a little further. You can’t miss it.” With that, he turns on his heel and starts easily threading his way back through the crowd, moving against the stream. Malia doesn’t waste much time looking after him; one of the speakers over her head blares an announcement, and while she can only half hear it over the hubbub, she does catch the words gate 12, which means she needs to move if she doesn't want to leave Kira waiting.

By the time she reaches the gate, her stomach is cramping with nerves, and there’s sweat gathering on the back of her neck. She hasn’t felt this nervous in literally years, and the feeling is so overwhelming that she kind of wants to vomit. All the questions, the negative thoughts, that she’s been trying to keep at bay since the day Kira officially bought her tickets to come visit, have rushed up into an overwhelming deluge that she can’t even begin to handle.

The doors connecting the gate to the tunnel leading to the plane open, and a group of passengers start making their way out agonizingly slowly. Even though she has a relatively clear line of sight, Malia still can’t help leaning up onto her toes, searching for Kira.

Her whole body feels jittery. Her heartbeat is pounding in her ears. With every second that passes by without Kira emerging from the tunnel, Malia’s stomach inches further and further up her throat.

Just when she’s ready to find the nearest garbage can, Malia sees her.

She’s one of the last people off the plane, wheeling a carry-on suitcase that’s patterned with red and blue elephants. Her sleek black hair is pulled into two braids that dangle down over her shoulders, and she’s dressed for comfort, in a pair of leggings, neon-orange sneakers and an oversized zip-up hoodie that reaches almost to her knees.

She’s the most beautiful person Malia has ever seen.

Her heart takes the place of her stomach, hovering in the base of her throat.

Kira’s face crinkles with concern as she scans the area, but before Malia can call out her name, Kira finds her, and her face illuminates from within. She smiles wide, and she starts jogging forward, suitcase bouncing along behind her.

Malia means to say something cool, something nonchalant that doesn’t make her sound completely gone on Kira; she doesn’t want to be too obvious, after all. She thinks that maybe a simple hey would be a good place to start.

But before she can open her mouth, she realizes that Kira is about to jump on her, and Malia barely has the foresight to open her arms before Kira crashes into her hard enough to make Malia rock back on her feet. She immediately wraps her arms tight around Kira’s slim waist, just as Kira threads her arms tight around Malia’s neck, tight enough to almost cut off Malia’s breath.

For a moment, they don’t say anything. They don’t move. They simply stay like that, wrapped up in each other, Kira’s toes just barely skimming the ground, mostly held up by Malia’s arms. Malia’s face is tucked into the spot where Kira’s neck meets her shoulder, and every single time that she breathes in, all she can smell is Kira, the floral scent of her shampoo and clean sweat and a hint of fabric softener. When she shifts, her nose drags over the curve of Kira’s neck, and Malia tightens her arms further, until it doesn’t feel like even air could worm its way between them.

She’d known, objectively, how amazing it would be to have Kira in front of her, to be able to actually touch and see her. But knowing that had in no way prepared her for how simply amazing the reality is, how amazing it is to feel Kira’s heart beating in her throat, to feel the simple human warmth of her, to feel her squeeze her arms around Malia’s neck.

It’s infinitely more real and more wonderful than she could have imagined in her wildest dreams.

“You’re here,” she mumbles, moving back slightly when Kira wiggles in her arms. She doesn’t end up far; once their foreheads are touching, Kira locks her arms around Malia’s neck, keeping her from moving back any further. “You’re actually here. In front of me.” Kira nods rapidly, a quiet laugh slipping from between her lips, which are still parted in the brightest smile Malia has ever seen.

“Yeah,” she says quietly, dark brown eyes sparkling with wetness. “I am.” For a moment, it looks like she might say something further, but instead, she leans forward and presses her lips against Malia’s. It’s firmer than Malia expects, but she quickly reciprocates in kind, wrapping her fingers in the back of Kira’s hoodie, biting back a moan when Kira’s fingers twist into the hair falling against the nape of her neck.

Malia can’t believe that she ever thought seeing Kira in person, actually meeting her, would somehow make things different between them, would be awkward and complicated, would change things for the worse.

Things have definitely changed between them; all she needs is one kiss to know that.

But it’s the most natural change of her life, as normal and fluid as switching from inhaling to exhaling and, just like breathing, she has no intentions on stopping, on letting Kira go, anytime soon.