#every fucking 5 minutes there's someone running up the stairs or slamming a cabinet shut or obnoxiously rattling chip bags

[leslieseveride]

i just wanna watch chicago fire in peace so bad, but i live with my mom and my brother's have a condo of their own, but it's 5min away so they're here. all. the. time. i want to kill myself fr.

[broadwayficsandmore-blog]

Beautifully Broken

A/N: This is my first attempt at a fanfic, I hope you like it and feel free to send me requests for anything! Also the reader gets a glimpse at April’s bedroom and the descriptions match my room exactly so sorry bout that. This is Chapter 5 of I dunno how many.  You can find Chapter 1 here Chapter 2 here Chapter 3 here Chapter 4 here 

Also shoutout to @go-andneverlookback for giving me the inspiration for this chapter from one of her posts that included a DEH headcanon. 

TW: Swearing, Mentions of dead parents (idk if that deserves a TW but I’m putting it in there)

Word Count: 2,808

Chapter 5: The Sorting Hat

Connor watched you hurry into the kitchen with your head down and your arms crossed tightly over your stomach, like you were trying to hold yourself together. He didn’t know your parents were both dead, how the fuck was he supposed to know that? He turned slowly towards the other two in the room.

“You could’ve warned me!” Connor whisper shouted at them, “I wouldn’t have brought that up if I had known.” He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends, clearly frustrated.

“She...she doesn’t like talking about it very much. I only know because she and I have been friends since we were seven.” Evan was picking at his cast as he spoke, the topic clearly made him uncomfortable.

“I had just become friends with her when her dad passed,” Jared started, “Look, April is someone who keeps all her problems to herself. I bet most of the teachers at school don’t even know her parents are both dead. If you want to talk to her about it, that’s fine. Just be prepared for her to shut down, it’s what she does.” Connor was shocked by how serious Jared looked when he spoke, he’s never seen this side of him before.

“What do you mean she shuts down?” Connor asks quietly, not wanting you to hear from the other room. Evan and Jared looked at each other for a moment, as if debating what details they could share and what details were sacred.

“She just stops. She won’t speak, she won’t move, sometimes she doesn’t even blink. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t scream, she doesn’t do anything. She literally shuts down,” Jared began explaining, “I’ve only seen it twice. And one of those times was at her father’s funeral. Everyone was hugging her and giving condolences and she just….stood there. Lifeless. Like a statue.” Jared was staring at the floor as he spoke, his face twisting into an array of emotions.

“She….she’s really happy and bubbly and she’s great at helping people. No one would ever guess she’s...she’s been through so much, ya know?” Evan made eye contact with Connor before finishing, “But maybe that’s why she’s so kind and caring. Because….because kind people are kind since they know firsthand that life isn’t. And….and the reason she doesn’t like to bring...bring up her parents is because she says people look at her...differently? Like they look at her with pity in their eyes or something? And she just...she doesn’t want that.” Evan was scanning Connor’s face for some sort of sign that he understood what he’d just heard. Connor slowly nodded, chewing on his lip as he contemplated what to say. Just then, you came through the door looking like your usual, perky self.

“Alright, losers,” you said as you put a tray of drinks and snacks on the coffee table, “What are we watching?” You flopped down on the couch next to Evan, acting totally normal. Connor walked over to the couch and decided to sit on the floor.

“Not one of those shitty horror films, pleaseeeeee” Jared groaned as he opened a bag of gummy worms.

“But the fact that they’re so bad makes them so good!” Evan shot back defensively. Connor whipped his head around to stare at him.

“Wait,” Connor began, staring at Evan intently, “You’re telling me the epitome of anxiety likes horror movies? Seriously?” Evan sunk slightly in his seat, clearly not liking all the attention he was getting. You started giggling and Evan shot you a look of betrayal before sinking even further into the couch cushions.

“Oh, come on,” you said between giggles, “it can’t be that hard to believe! Aren’t we all full of little surprises?” Connor slowly raised an eyebrow at you.

“I’m not,” he muttered bluntly before turning around and picking through the snacks on the table.

“How about Harry Potter? Everyone likes Harry Potter,” you suggest, glancing at all three boys expectantly. All the boys agreed and you got up to put on the first movie in the series. The four of you watched the movie, all enjoying the familiarity of the story. When the film ended, you stretched your arms and heard a loud grumble from the stomach to your left.

“Evan are you hungry or are you secretly part bear?” You teased, poking him in the stomach. He flinched and slapped your hand away.

“Wanna order pizza?” Jared suggested.

“I’ve had pizza for two days, soooo how bout Chinese?” All the boys agreed and you got up to head to the kitchen where the take out menus were. “Okay, what do you guys want?” you asked as you laid the menu down on the counter. Evan answered without even glancing at the menu.

“Orange chicken with fried rice, thanks”

“I’ll have general tsos with white rice,” Jared said as he passed the menu over to Connor. Connor scanned the menu for a minute before telling you he wanted lo mein noodles. You pulled out your phone and ordered the boys food along with mapo tofu for yourself and sesame chicken for your sister. When you finished ordering, you noticed Evan rubbing his bare arms like he was cold.

“You sweatshirt is hanging in my closet if you wanna run upstairs and grab it,” you suggested. Evan gave you a gracious smile before heading for the stairs. You glanced at Connor and noticed his eyebrows were furrowed slightly. You didn’t have long to contemplate his expression before Jared was beginning a tangent.

“I seriously don’t understand why Draco Malfoy is proud to be a Slytherin! Gryffindor is clearly the best house, that’s why I’m in it,” you snorted at his comment.

“What’s the best house?” Evan asked as he came back in the kitchen, wearing his forest green hoodie with his hands stuffed in the pocket.

“Gryffindor, obviously!” Jared exclaimed, gesturing to himself. “You’re a Hufflepuff, right?” Evan nodded, suddenly appearing very self conscious.

“A house for nervous wrecks, that’s the house for me,” Evan chuckled slightly at his self deprecating joke.

“It’s not a house for nervous wrecks,” Connor speaks in a monotone, but that doesn’t stop from all eyes turning to him. “It’s a house for kids who are stubborn but accepting, it’s for people who like to hang out in libraries and get yelled at for being too loud. It’s for the kind of person who blends into the background but notices everything around them.” Connor spoke while staring at his hands on the counter. After a few moments he glanced up to find all three of you staring.

“So you’re an artist and a poet? Every girl would love you!” Jared teased, lightly punching Connor in the shoulder.

“Okay, ignoring Jared,” you said while rolling your eyes, before turning to Evan. “Connor’s right. When I think Hufflepuff I think a cool breeze in summertime, and pastel colored walls, shooting stars, and growing as a person. Yeah, Hufflepuffs are stereotyped as being too carefree or immature, but I think there’s more to them than that. I think there’s more to all the houses. I mean, I’m a Ravenclaw and we’re all stereotyped as being wicked smart and studious, but you know how shitty I am at studying.” Evan laughed, he knew firsthand how distracted you were when it came to actually sitting down and doing homework.

“Yeah, and Gryffindors are supposed to super courageous and tough, but I still cry every time I watch Bambi” Jared added with a small smirk.

“What house are you, Connor?” Evan asked, only hesitating slightly. Connor blinked slowly, like a child waking up from a nap.

“I don’t know, Slytherin?” he shrugged slightly. You slammed your hands on the counter, making Evan jump.

“You have taken the Pottermore quiz to find out what house you’re in?” You were leaning over the counter, invading Connor’s personal space which was causing him to lean back slightly.

“I...I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” he suddenly sounded unsure.

“Upstairs! Right now! What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t help you discover your true self!” You shouted as you exited the kitchen. Connor was extremely confused, and slightly amused by your reaction.

“Don’t fight her on this, she’s a Harry Potter nutcase,” Jared explained.

“Yeah, she read the entire series when we were in like third grade, and she’s been obsessed every since,” Evan added with a small smile on his face. The boys followed you upstairs to your bedroom. When they arrived to your room, you were sitting at your desk on your laptop, already pulling up the Pottermore website. Evan went to sit on your bed, hugging a throw pillow to his chest. Jared flopped down on the beanbag in the corner of the room. Connor stood awkwardly in your doorway, trying to take in everything about your room. It wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small by any means. You had a twin bed with a dozen pillows and throw pillows on it. Your desk had drawers and cabinets on either side with birds and flowers painted on them. On top if your desk was a zebra lamp with a hand painted lampshade of what looked like the silhouette or an African savannah. To the left of the door there was a pastel teal bookcase that reached the ceiling, the shelves were filled with books and art supplies. Beneath your window was a long dresser and on top of it say various beauty products, a ukulele, a stack of comic books, and some candles. Your walls very covered in various canvas prints and hand made paintings. There were Christmas lights that hung on the wall and wrapped around the entire room. Connor wasn’t sure what he expected your room to look like, but this wasn’t it. He thought it suited you though.

“Alright, Murphy. Get your ass over here and take this quiz. It’s like 12 questions or something, so it won’t take long.” You snapped him out of his trance when you spoke. He cautiously walked across the room and stood in front of your desk. You grabbed his shoulders and pushed on him until he sat.

“What the fuck does this even mean?” he asked immediately after reading the first question. You leaned over his shoulder and read it quickly.

“What do you mean “what does it mean?” you just pick one! Moon or stars, just choose,” you couldn’t believe he was confused by this.

“Don’t think about it, just pick the answers that feel right. Otherwise you won’t get sorted into the right house,” Jared added from his beanbag in the corner. Connor turned back to the computer, biting his lip as he contemplated the question before him. Moon or stars….stars or moon….Which is better? They’re both in the night sky….they’re both in space….what’s the difference? He ended up choosing moon. He’s not sure why, he just did. He continued taking the quiz, commenting every time he found a question to be strange or ridiculous or he just didn’t get it.

“I don’t think I’d drink out of any of these goblets, what the fuck is this,” He said staring at the question. You leaned over his shoulder, your face just a few inches from his. This caused Connor to stiffen slightly and hold his breath. You always scrunched up your nose and bit your lip slightly when you were contemplating something like you were right now. Connor thought it was cute and with that thought came a sudden heat to his face. He hoped you wouldn’t notice.

“Well, which cup would you drink? I personally wouldn’t drink the foaming, frothing, silvery liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. I mean, it’s probably made from unicorn’s blood and that’s fucked up. I’d go with either the mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions or the smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums.” Connor was staring at you for a few moments until you turned to look at him. He abruptly turned backed to the computer screen. He picked the mysterious black liquid, before hitting submit.

“That’s the one I would’ve picked too,” you told him as you waited for his results to load. In big bold letters the screen read “CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve been sorted into RAVENCLAW!

“Ravenclaw, just like me!” You said with a smile. Connor couldn’t help the small small the spread across his face. Same house as you, maybe that was a good sign.

“No fucking way,” Jared said as he got up from the beanbag. Within seconds the other two boys were huddled around your desk, peering down at the screen.

“I guess you two are pretty similar,” Evan said slowly, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. “Interesting. I guess you guys could be good for each other. Not like, romantically or anything but not that you couldn’t be together like that I just mean that your personalities and interests must be similar if you both got Ravenclaw and that could make you two compatible but in a friendshipy kind of way...” Evan started cracking his knuckles as he rambled, a nervous tick you knew he had You nudged his elbow slightly, a silent way for you to remind him he’s supposed to be working on that. He immediately stopped cracking his knuckles and shoved his hands back into the pocket of his hoodie. Just then, you heard the doorbell. The four of you headed downstairs to get your food from the delivery guy. The four of you sat on the floor around the coffee table in the living room to eat while watching the second Harry Potter movie. Shortly after you began eating, you heard the front door slam open.

“FUCK! I AM SO TIRED!”  your sister literally shouted as she came in the door. You could hear her drop her keys and purse directly onto the floor.

“Hey, Gina! I have male friends over, so pants are a requirement!” you called from the living room. You could hear her making her way towards you.

“If it’s just Evan that doesn’t count, he’s basically family so-” she stopped dead in her tracks when she came in the living room and saw an unfamiliar face. “Oh, someone new. Nice to meet you! I’m Regina, April’s older and more beautiful sister,” she stuck out her hand.

“I’m Connor, thanks for having us,” he shook your sister’s hand and gave her a polite smile. Regina shot you a quick look at the mention of his name, clearly she remembered the story you told her about the first day of school.

“Here, I got your favorite,” you said as you handed her a container of sesame chicken and rice.

“You are a goddess, thank you! Well, I need to get some studying done so I’ll leave you guys here. And you guys are welcome to crash here if you’d like, the guest room has a trundle bed so two people could sleep in there if you want or you can all crash out her or on the floor of April’s room. Just please, for the love of god, don’t have a weird high school orgy-”

“OKAY! Thank you for that disturbing talk, Gina. Please go away now,” you interjected before she could make things worse. She nudged your shoulder with her knee before heading upstairs to her room. Jared was snickering under his breath, Evan was hiding in his sweatshirt, and Connor looked slightly uncomfortable. “Sorry, she can be a little over the top sometimes,” you apologized to your container of food, too embarrassed to make eye contact.

“I’m gonna let my mom know I’m staying here tonight, if that’s cool. I don’t really want to drive anywhere,” Jared said, “unless I need to take you home?” he was now looking at Evan.

“No, it’s okay. My mom is working a night shift, so I’ll just text her and tell her I’m staying too. But….but a ride home tomorrow would be nice. If that’s okay?” Jared nodded before turning his attention back to his phone.

“So,” Jared began once he had sent his text to his mom, “You staying, too, Murphy?” Now all of you were looking at Connor, waiting for an answer. He thought about it for a minute, not sure what to say. He didn’t know if his parents would really let him stay out overnight, but he also knew he’s never felt this normal and just...okay in his entire life.

“Yeah,” he started, “I’ll stay, my parents won’t mind.” You couldn’t help but think maybe your friend group was growing.