#even with dodgy cockney accents

[engineer-gunzelpunk]

Further SpookyHenry headcanons (edited with even more HCs added)

He loves his 2000 AD comics, "Nemesis The Warlock" and "Strontium Dogs" are his faves... loves "Promethea" for the art and occult content.

The shady criminal workshop that built him originally was likely located somewhere in eastern London, so he has a Cockney accent… which has flattened out somewhat but is still pretty distinct. It was a heavy mark of difference in the very early years against the Lancastrian, Scottish and general Northern leaning accents among the engines of the NWR.

He was never a Gresley, there were never any flawed plans stolen from Nigel Gresely’s workshop. That was a bullshit lie concocted by the fixer that tried to flog him from railway to railway to conjure an air of prestige for their ‘white elephant’ an to obscure the fact that his dodgy home workshop was just shit.

Very likely has Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD, no one goes though as much shit as he did (just in the 'sanitized' canon) without coming away with mental scarring. (For that rate, he hasn't forgiven his NWR tormentors, but he has no choice but to work and live with them... even in humanshape he can't simply run away. He's still a locomotive in body and soul owned by the NWR, with all the needs that it implies.)

All the tattooing on his arms and body is to conceal all the scarring he got over the course of his life previous to humanization, which was and still is a real source of pain and shame to him. He figures if humans can get ink to cover their scarring, why shouldn't he.

He's still a nature lover, but he's not a Hippie. (Nature lover does not equal Hippie). He's too angry at heart to be one. He also finds some of their ideals benign but the aesthetic appalling, the attainment of those ideals disappointing and a lot of their other ideas just plain dotty and impossible to understand as an engine.

His appreciation for nature is rooted in the fact it allows him to escape his NWR workmates for a bit, so less this:

More like this:

Caspar David Friedrich, Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog (1818) © Hamburger Kunsthalle

Two Men Contemplating the Moon, 1830

He finds it all fascinating, the cycle of life and death he is completely divorced from as a wholly built artificial creature.

[unhingedwomandiaries]

For. Crying. Out. Loud. Cirillo's on the phone, telling me I'm bloody Tzeitel. Fiddler on the Roof's biggest supporting female role. Like I'm over the moon. More like over my head.

"Miracles of Miracles"? Sounds like a sodding miracle I don't face-plant into the orchestra pit. Jewish accent? Because my dodgy Cockney wasn't cringeworthy enough.

Cast list? Don't. Even. Get. Me. Started. Cirillo's tighter-lipped than a vicar's wife.

Tzeitel. Fantastic. Can't wait to make a dog's breakfast of it.

P.S. Why, God, why?

[jaynedolluk]

Mötley Crüe- On with the Show

Finally got to see The Dirt on Netflix + I actually really liked it. Thought they did a good job of it overall (altho' who the hell decided to give Razzle a dodgy Cockney accent???). I used to be a big Motley Crue fan back in my mid teens - they did miss some stuff out/change certain things round + there was no mention of Tommy Lee + Pamela Anderson. I can remember when they got married + thinking '"I've never met you, I live thousands of miles away from you + even I know more than one person who's fucked your husband" - let's just say, their dodgy reputation was well deserved but then I'd argue that unlike some bands they never pretended to be anything else.

[ratemysheppard]

60) Soldier of Fortune Inc

60) Title- Soldier of Fortune Inc

Year- 1997-98

Character- Christopher ‘CJ’ Yates

Synopsis- A special ops team made up of military specialists go undercover to thwart various baddies, in the name of the US of A.

Medium- Rip of a dodgy VHS copy

Entirety or episode?- Entirety

Overall verdict- SOF is what it is. It’s a 90s American Jerry Bruckheimer show about special ops soldiers, so don’t expect it to be particularly forward-thinking in terms of ‘foreigners’ or equality and diversity. It also covers some pretty dark themes, although most of the really bad stuff (torture etc) occurs off-screen. That said, it’s actually a lot better than most shows of the time period in terms of, well, not being a complete bag of poop. Whilst there are some huge nope moments (lesbians as a punchline, some really choice racist dialogue, numerous rape threat storylines, I could go on) it’s an easy watch, it’s fun and fast and has a cast of really likeable characters who you’ll grow to love (yeah, even Benny Ray, who’s a total dudebro.) It’s also cheesy af, which ups its fun quota by a huge amount. I enjoyed it a lot.

Screen time- Main character

Accent- Cockney (and occasionally Irish!)

Mark’s character- I may be biased, but CJ is by far and away the best thing about SOF. He’s another character that Mr S absolutely inhabits. It’s also nice that he’s probably the most uncomplicatedly nice character in Mark’s back catalogue – he’s a legit action hero. He’s also the comic relief, which means that he not only gets all of the best lines, but is also the most relatable. Also, the fact that he’s often portrayed (I think unfairly) as the most ‘cowardly’ or ‘the weak link’ also makes him the most nuanced and relatable character of the crew. His backstory with his brother is genuinely upsetting and Mr S puts in a typically excellent performance in a lot of very highly emotional scenes. In short, CJ is frankly adorable (despite being a badass ammunitions expert). He’s a chirpy cheeky chappy, enthusiastic, full of bravado and bullshit, always has a (terrible) joke ready (so the others can tell him to shut up) and is absolutely loyal and (almost) fearless in the face of danger. And he really, really hates Libyans.

Highlight- I’ve made copious notes, so there’s really too much to list here, but here’s a few.

CJ knows ‘every lyric of Fleetwood Mac’ (he’s also into Nine Inch Nails!)

CJ in Broken Play, dealing with PTSD. He looks absolutely terrified in the flashbacks and it’s devastating. How he cradles that gun because he’ll kill himself before they’ll take him alive again, oh my heart.

CJ “Do you like cake?” And he damn well baked that cake, too!

CJ spinning drumsticks at the start of ‘Collateral Damage’.

Teddy Bear’s Picnic: the earworm that won’t quit.

CJ building a defibrillator ffs and refusing to give up on Chance.

Honorary mention for Mother in ‘Hired Guns’ <3

Every time CJ starts to tell a joke and everyone tells him to shut up. “What was the punchline?” “You know I make it up as I go along.”

Every time CJ shows that he’s actually a whole league more intelligent than anyone gives him credit for.

Rewatch?- Yes, but I wish they’d release it on DVD to buy, as it’s impossible to find and the quality of the VHS rip I bought is dreadful!

Apologies for the quality of the caps!

[dmbakura]

First off the drama is tiring, i'm sorry those anons don't know how to block, and I love ur fem! au ty for making something relatable for us wlw. THAT SAID I'm so eyes emoji @ ur ocs, I wanna know more. What's the backstory for your oc's world?

im glad you like it! TwT and oof

my plot is all over the gd place but the basic premise is a human girl accidentally brings a demon into her world, and they have to work together to save both their worlds as reality starts crumbling around them. pretty standard stuff

imma give some random facts abt my main characters because u brought this on urself 8)

khonsu, age: ????, height: 5′4 (almost twice the size when in demon form)

Khonsu lost her memories when she passed between dimensions and into the human world. For about 10 years after Sera pulled her through, she wandered the earth as somewhat of a ghost, sort of in an “in-between” state before she formally meets Sera.

She is only visible to normal people in the dark or at night time. She has limited interaction with the world around her, but she learns the ins and outs and how to communicate, fashioning a human form for herself.

She’s basically invulnerable to any form of conventional weaponry. Her demon form is amorphous and can’t be shot, stabbed, hit, etc with any effect. Fire and light will annoy, stun and even wound/incapacitate her, but only a certain type of weapon can permanently kill a creature like Khonsu.

She draws power from the shadows and the moon, and fights up close and personal, most of her strength coming from her arms. 

She devours other demons (and occasionally humans) for sustenance. However, she really likes corn (all forms of it, popcorn especially) so she ends up frequenting corn fields and has inspired horror stories from sightings of her.

Though she may have lost her memory, she still has some vague idea of what she needs to do and that she needs Sera to accomplish it. She protects Sera over the years (keeping a distance though because she’s a cautious creature and also doesn’t really know how to communicate effectively with her) until she is ready to confront her. She knows Sera is the key to finding the power that can fix her.

She’s tenacious and very little stops or deters her. Fucking superb you funky little cryptid.

Cockney accent

sera, age: early twenties-ish, height: 5′9

Sera was about 12 or so when she and her younger sister did somewhat of a ritual that was supposed to let them talk to their dead parents. It didn’t work out, and Sera’s sister (haven’t decided on a name yet) was pulled through the portal they created while Khonsu was spat out.

Sera doesn’t believe her sister is dead, and develops an obsession with the occult because of it (well, even more of an obsession I guess.) A huge part of this is driven by guilt and it haunts her every day.

She’s interested in photography, particularly spirit photography.

She is aware that something attached to her during that ritual (Khonsu) and initially thinks she has to banish her and that Khonsu is out to harm her. She thinks Khonsu is what stole her sister as well, but later the confusion is cleared up.

Sera doesn’t realize that she also gained a unique power from that ritual, which is that she can open up paths between dimensions. She’s not good at controlling it at first and isn’t even aware of it until Khonsu brings it to her attention. Much to Khonsu’s annoyance, this ends up making Sera a target for everything lurking in the night. 

She’s a bit of a loner and has trouble connecting to people. Despite this she has a few close friends and a social circle, even if she doesn’t really feel like she belongs.

sekhmet, age: ????, height: 5′11 (about the same as khonsu when in demon form)

Sekhmet is part of an organization with some dodgy motives and ties to the cataclysmic events shaking the realms.

Like Khonsu, she’s a demon, originating from the same world.

Her abilities rival Khonsu’s. She has a human form she assumes to blend in. She fights mid-long range with numerous long ghost hands. She can summon fire and weaponry. And she possessed one of the only abilities that can permanently kill shadow creatures like Khonsu.

She’s quite no nonsense and doesn’t see much value in the world around her, but some say she has a softer side if you really dig.

She has a deep seeded hatred for Khonsu. Why? Well if only Khonsu could remember…

[engineer-gunzelpunk]

This is an interesting topic, in regards to what the engines would have "really" sound like accent-wise. I was never keen on a West County accent for Duck, even before I knew that Duck was a variant on the Pannier that was was built in the UK, it felt affected.

I have been contemplating this for sometime with Henry, given his very uncertain origins.

The most popular and very likely plausible theory is that he was built at some dodgy locomotive chop shop unaligned with any particular railway but most likely sold to whoever would buy their product.

The unspoken implication is that his chop shop of origin is somewhere in the South, very likely London. But I sincerely doubt he would have gotten any of the finishing school-type behavior training Gordon and the other A1s, hell, all the other locos definitely would have received from the LNER (an idea i think @joezworld made mention of in one of his stories and here, which is a delightful and plausible idea).

The idea that a legitimate railway or well known locomotive workshop would buy plans stolen from the LNER is a bit far fetched. If the proposed loco had been a success, any loco spotter and industry expert worth their salt would have noticed the Gresley-ite features straight away, which would have been a scandal of epic proportions.

As it was, the wrong plans were stolen and Henry was a dismal failure of a locomotive, and given that Sir Topham Hatt was swindled by his fixer, its very likely it was a criminal shop, which makes Henry's origins very, very, very dark indeed, on top of all the other stuff he has had to suffer in canon (corporate espionage is what it is, which I think @ferlost took a stab at exploring with their wonderful fiction "Blueprints").

I have read some ideas that the shop may have been aligned with the LMS but that needs further exploration.

So what does that mean for what Henry is supposed to sound like?

I was never keen on the idea of making him sound posh, unless it was a desperate attempt on his part to make himself more like Gordon, which is a legit concept as many folks from very hardscrabble backgrounds will ape upper-class mannerisms, but at some point, their true accents and manners slip out if they have no received training. (There is a delightful demonstration of this in Battlestar Galactica where Gaius Balthar drops his posh Capran [recieved British] accent into his true Ariean i.e Yorkshireman accent so he could hide his lower class origins).

Many fan-dubs seem to emphasize that and have him be a toff continually, which sounds false.

(Or make him sound like Woody Allen, which is just... wrong on every conceivable level...)

Also, there was a bit of a message in Awdry's writing Henry into a Black Five that was unspoken but obvious to me: if he failed at being a pseudo-Gresleyite passenger locomotive, a delicate, fussy, patrician, high-maintenance machine, then he could be a superb true-blue Stanier Black Five, a rugged, powerful plebian workhorse of a thing, particularly the early 1935 riveted form he was built into. If his rebuild into a Black Five was making Henry into himself, then it was only natural that his origins were decidedly... not at all posh.

I was a fan of Michael Angelis' Liverpool accent for him during his run, especially in the final scene of "What's The Matter with Henry" when he sounds like a grumpy old Scouser, though probably not his origin, seems more authentic and gritty to him than a silly posh one. I've heard some Midlands versions in fan-dubs, which makes sense for an LMS origin but not necessarily a true or plausible one (definitely for James though, given his L&Y origins); again, seems right for him though not really his origin.

So I propose an original Cockney, Essex or Estuary accent for Henry heavily fading into Sudrian (which is basically Manx or Manx English) over time, possibly with Londoner inflections and words. A full on stereotypical Cockney would have been ridiculous, but a more working-class accent concealed beneath fake received posh which in of itself gave way to Sudrian (and lets face it, he's working fast goods a lot of the time, he's not interfacing with passengers unless he's replacing Gordon on the Express, he's interfacing with railway workers and dock workers... he's probably seen a lot of shit go down at Brendam and Knapford Harbour while waiting to pull the Kipper... and possibly at Manchester too... which is an idea I never see developed...

HENRY IS ON THE MAINLAND ON A REGULAR BASIS, WHETHER IT IS WEEKLY OR MONTHLY

He would have so much goss, so many contacts, a lot of friends/lovers over there... why is nothing done with this? Anyway... this is off topic).

If anyone else has canon evidence to the contrary that Henry would have some other accent, I would be happy to discuss. I would dearly love some evidence of his origins that are clearer than mud.

Fun fact: Emily the emerald engine has nothing to do with Scottish heritage, she only has a scottish accent because her creator is scottish?? And I find this pretty weird cause:

Gordon's creator is scottish, but Gordon does not have a scottish accent?

Edward has scottish heritage too, (I think.) Yet he does not have a scottish accent.

So the whole thing about Emily being scottish confuses me.

[spicynbachili1]

The good, the bad and the ugly of British voice acting in games

Tidy!

Warning: accommodates spoilers for the trendy Wolfenstein video games and Closing Fantasy XV

Respectable voice appearing is likely one of the essential constructing blocks of recreation. It’s why so many individuals change the voices to Japanese in JRPGs and the like, as a result of in the event you’re having to learn subtitles for a language you’ll be able to’t perceive, then you’ll be able to’t actually inform whether or not the voice appearing is any good or not. And dangerous voice appearing will be so jarring that it pulls you out of the expertise solely.

Hailing from the UK, the myriad accents and dialects on my small island of origin usually get much less airing in video games than the mighty American accent, however they do make just a few appearances every now and then. Typically, they match to explicit stereotypes that Brits have performed within the media since a time lengthy earlier than video games had been a major type of leisure, a few of that are extremely entertaining and tongue-in-cheek, and a few which can be a little bit grating.

So, let’s dissect a handful of makes use of of the British accent in video games that run the gamut of totally dangerous voice appearing, chewing the surroundings to the purpose of indigestion and speccy librarian sorts.

The Merely Off-putting

My largest WTF second with British accents in video games has been using a kind of bog-standard, barely RP accent in Forbidden Siren, the 2001 horror recreation created by part of Crew Silent. I consider that they intentionally tried to subvert the same old voice-acting expectations of creating all of the English voices sound like Hollywood actors, maybe to provide it some kind of attachment to Victorian horror (see, I sidestepped the dreaded phrase), however there is no such thing as a actual motive for it in a recreation about Japanese mythology. Us Brits are used to all English voice appearing being Americanised, so fairly than being a pleasant addition, it comes throughout as a little bit unusual.

It doesn’t assist that the voice appearing is laughable at components, and the faces of the actors being superimposed on the character fashions lends it a really otherworldly sensation. Maybe it was a sensible choice in spite of everything, provided that it’s a recreation constructed to make you’re feeling on-edge and uncomfortable. Besides that Tamon the professor seems like somebody doing a dodgy Patrick Stewart impression.

The Ladette

The Final Story lastly obtained a Western launch in 2012, constructed on the hype from the involvement of Closing Fantasy stalwarts Hironobu Sakaguchi and Nobuo Uematsu (get nicely quickly, sir). I used to be listening to my oft-collaborators Cane and Rinse’s episode on the sport, since though I could have finite time to play precise video games, because of my commute, I’ve loads of time to hearken to individuals speak about enjoying video games. Whereas the thought of doing a Medieval-looking JRPG with British accents doesn’t strike me as uncommon, the selection of creating the hard-drinking, rowdy mercenary Syrenne a broad Northern lass is a novel one.

Being from these components of England myself, we get barely any illustration in video games – and for probably the most half, I’m nice with that. Not all video games are suited to comedy portrayals of the stereotypical working class, besides maybe the ye-olde fictionalised middle-England video games that want a rollicking, drunken bard. But it’s fairly good to see wider illustration of the massive vary in accents on the British isles, significantly since builders on different shores are wont to ram all of them collectively to create a complicated mulch.

The Brainy Ones

I really feel like Buffy the Vampire Slayer has rather a lot to reply for in popularising the “mild bookworm sort” via the character of Rupert Giles, portrayed masterfully by Anthony Head. I actually noticed streaks of Giles once I was enjoying Murderer’s Creed: Brotherhood this week and spent a while with Shaun Hastings. Because the Assassins’ tactician and covert yogurt-stealer, he’s a pleasant bookend to the group – although I did should Google whether or not it was Stephen Service provider doing the voice, as he sounded a little bit bit an excessive amount of like Wheatley from Portal 2.

The distinction between the smart guardian Giles and barely annoying older brother Hastings is that the latter (voiced by comic Danny Wallace) comes throughout as a little bit mean-spirited. I imply, Giles may very well be mildly sarcastic when the Scooby Gang had been placing their lives on the road with out a care on this planet, very like most youngsters do. However Hastings complains a fantastic deal, not lacking a beat in relation to discovering an excuse to verbally snipe at his colleagues. Then once more, we’re a nation of passive-aggressive moaners, so it matches the stereotype, actually.

The Evil Ones

You didn’t assume I would go away out the evil cackling geniuses, did you? Video games are completely chock filled with baddies who’ve been introduced up with a silver spoon of their mouth, or no less than possess some kind of ambiguous Atlantic lilt to their voice. Assume Albert Wesker of Resident Evil, Claudia Wolf of Silent Hill three and (spoiler alert!) Ardyn of Closing Fantasy XV. Being a destroyer of worlds instructions the very best training cash should purchase, which is why even characters introduced up in a cult in the course of small-town America, like Claudia, one way or the other sound like they withstood hours upon hours of Saturday morning elocution classes.

I’ve to confess, it’s a little boring to see mock obtained pronunciation all the time related to evildoing. From my expertise, individuals who sound like that in actual life spend their time driving their Vary Rovers round unspoiled countryside and capturing grouse, not main a cult to delivery a God, or forging a beefed-up model of Darwin’s survival of the fittest. So that they’re evil, however not that evil.

The “We’re British Too, You Fool”

Earlier than my many Scottish acquaintances within the gaming journalism world smash down my doorways and provides me a beating, it’s price remembering that the UK isn’t just the little nation of England. Scotland and Wales have been represented nicely in online game voice appearing, although I can not consider many examples in relation to Northern Eire.

I’ve talked earlier than about my favorite little bit of Scottish voice appearing: the park advisor in Theme Park World (solely in PAL copies). I assume I fall into the class of the simply amused, and located his quips had been made all of the extra entertaining by his brogue. One other notable inclusion of the Scottish accent is Fergus in Wolfenstein: The New Order and Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, although the extent of his presence is decided by whether or not or not you select to provide an automatic lobotomy to him or to a wet-behind-the-ears school grad.

And in relation to the Welsh accent, who may overlook Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch, with Drippy, the loveable sock puppet who guides Oliver on his quest to save lots of his mom? The thought to provide such a cuddly character and his fellow fairies a fantastic massive booming Valleys accent was impressed, and properly dodged utilizing the same old high-pitched imp voices. Tidy!

In conclusion, except for the odd Cockney accent used to comedic impact and interval items, Brit voices are sometimes reserved for the baddies and the nerds of video video games. I can’t communicate for all individuals of British heritage, however I’m fairly alright with that. We is likely to be a little bit typecast, however no less than our vocal skills have cornered some a part of the market. And video video games all the time want their deviants and geeks, so we aren’t going anyplace.

Is your accent portrayed nicely in video games? Are you able to consider different cool examples of how the British accent was used and abused within the medium? Let me know within the feedback down beneath!

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[timparkerwoodward]

A Tale of Fetish Parties

The Skin Two Rubber Ball

Back in 1992, my friend Michelle was working with me on Skin Two magazine and one day she had a bright idea. Now, Michelle is bright and fun and I usually like her ideas a lot. This was no exception.

Back then, we had run various parties in London under the Skin Two banner but, believe it or not, there was no big international fetish party. The modern scene was more or less focussed on London back then. Most other big cities around the world had almost nothing at all. Paris, Berlin, Tokyo and New York had hidden undergrounds on a small scale, but Michelle was thinking bigger than that. She planned the word’s first really big international celebration of fetish glamour, the Skin Two Rubber Ball.

Hammersmith Palais was packed with visitors from all over the world – on a Monday night! They came from Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, Australia and across Europe and the UK. Truth to tell, we were way over the building’s legal capacity. Our Production Manager, Nic Marchant, still swears we had four thousand people. We raised loads of money for charity, the local police were super-friendly and the publicity for the fetish scene was massive and very positive. Jean Paul Gaultier was there – you can see his photos in the book. Yes, there was a book of the event and even a film. We were in all the papers, on TV, the works.

The international fetish scene as we now know it was born that night. George from Northbound Leather in Toronto stayed at my house and went home saying Canada had to have something like the Skin Two Rubber Ball. Soon afterwards, I was at at George’s own party with three thousand kinky Canadians in one room. Glenn from Fetish Factory in Fort Lauderdale came too and he also went home fired with passion to do the same thing in the Florida sun. Today, his event is probably the biggest and best fetish party in the USA. Then came German Fetish Ball in Berlin, Fetish Evolution in Essen, Démonia in Paris, Bal des Supplices in Lyon, and all the rest. We were invited to do two parties at Sydney University in Australia, we sponsored San Francisco Fetish Ball for several years. We did eight years in Atlanta, Georgia. What had we started?!

Some of my favourite memories from the Skin Two Rubber Ball are Nic Marchant’s fabulous stage shows – I’ve still not seen anything nearly as good at a fetish event. Then there was the posse from Essex who arrived in a tank – really, a tank – and parked outside the Palais. The tank driver was dressed in a latex dalmation suit, white with black spots, a back nose, tail and floppy ears. Not terribly military. Officers from the police station next door struggled not to giggle. Drag queens alighted fro stretch limos. Traffic in Hammersmith came to a standstill.

One of my favourite Skin Two Rubber Ball memories was the time Brian the security chief came to me with an anxious look on his face. A young American guy had complained that he had been sexually assaulted and wanted the police to be called. What were we going to do? I hurried to the back room and found a pretty French girl in floods of tears. She was the one who the American claimed had assaulted him.

In her charming French accent, she explained that she had liked the look of him and tried to pick him up. No harm in that, surely? Most young men would be flattered. Not this one, though. The young American was furious, saying that she had offered him poppers to sniff. He was very anti-drugs and highly offended. I tried to calm him down, pointing out that the French girl had meant no harm, she was now in floods of tears and very apologetic; it was hardly a matter for the police. Still he insisted on making an issue out of it. Then I had an idea.

Hammersmith police station was just a few steps from the venue, so I said “OK, I will walk you there myself and we will tell the police all about this.” Brian’s face fell. The last thing he wanted was to bother the local police with this. Or with anything, probably…

As we walked from the room, I whispered an aside to Brian. How would it be if he fetched the French girl’s coat, made sure she had cab fare, and put her in a taxi? He smiled and, seconds after we walked over to the police station, she was gone, away into the night.

As we approached the desk sergeant at Hammersmith nick, he did his best not to laugh. (I was wearing the full uniform of a San Francisco motorcycle cop.)

The sergeant studiously ignored my get-up and asked how he could help us. When I explained that the American was complaining about being approached by the cute French girl, he tried his best to take us seriously and went off to fetch a form. I’m sure he brought us the longest and most complex form they had. This boy was no fool. The American, clearly under the impression that he was reporting the crime of the century, took the officer’s pen and started to write his crime report.

I looked at the officer. The officer looked at me. We understood each other. I left the American to it. I’m sure that form hit the wastepaper basket in the back office very shortly afterwards. At any rate, the French girl was long gone by then.

A few years later, after Hammersmith Palais closed down, we ran the Skin Two Rubber Ball at several other venues for a few years. It was fun and we made a weekend out of it, with a daytime fair and supporting events. Finally though, I felt I had been there seen it, done it and got the t-shirt. Similar events had started in other big cities across the world, the international fetish scene was well under way and our job was done. No point in re-inventing the wheel – it was time to move on.

KFS North – and the Midlands

Or so I thought. Much as I like to think I’m a Londoner, (my Mum was a cockney) I was actually born in the Midlands. I love the friendly vibe of the fetish/BDSM scene in the North and Midlands and had long been friendly with Terry of The Events – he’s been running events for as long as me. Rather than pose in the frantic London clubs, I would often slip away to Manchester or Birmingham for fun. One day, Terry suggested that Leeds was really a party town and there was nothing big going on fetish-wise, so why didn’t we get together. Here we go again…

Last time I had been in Leeds, an indoor lavatory was considered an effete indulgence suitable only for pouffy Southerners. But Terry knows his stuff and I got on the train. My God, Leeds has changed. The venue Terry had chosen was very cool. Not far from Harvey Nichols, round the corner from some posh hotels, charming and helpful staff, all a long way from the dodgy geezers who run London clubs. (I could tell you a tale or two about them, but prefer not to grass, due to preferring to stay in good health, thanks.) Leeds does have a Northern character though; on Fridays and Saturdays, gangs of drunken girls in white stilettos and skimpy dresses hang out of white limos, singing (usually different) songs while waving half-full bottles of cheap Cava at passers-by. I absolutely love it.

So Skin Two North was born – later changed to our new brand of KFS North. Much smaller than the old Skin Two Rubber Ball, we’re talking around four hundred people. That feels just about right. Local DJ Paul Domaster joined the team and we soon expanded to Birmingham with KFS Midlands.

It’s fun and a growing number of Londoners, jaded with the huge, impersonal scene down South, are coming up to join us. Fetish folks come from Scotland, Cornwall, East Anglia. We’ve started something – again.

Having gone from four thousand to four hundred people – a long and winding road, via Hammersmith, San Francisco, Atlanta and Sydney University to Leeds – you’d think there was nowhere left to go. Only it didn’t turn out quite like that.

Enter our fun little party group, The Chardmore Society…

****************************

The book of the Skin Two Rubber Ball is available in digital form at www.KFSMedia.com. The film is available on www.KFSTV.net

KFS Events are at www.KFSEvents.net

The Chardmore Society is at www.ChardmoreSociety.com