#even though they're on a background losing their shit xD

[yakowo]

🍳😊

[innitmarvellous]

I finally finished Inside No. 9 after not watching an episode for ages. I had stopped in the middle of S7... Anyway, I took some notes about the episodes which are possibly interesting for a rewatch. They're pretty vague, but I'll hide them under the read more link just in case. ^^

Kid/Nap: Not my fave episode, but the double twist was kind of intriguing. Although I guess it would've been possible to expect it.

Wise Owl: Wow, I didn't expect this to get so dark towards the end. I mean, it wasn't a happy episode to begin with, but that 'come upstairs with me' bit... But I liked that he freed himself from the influence of 'Wise Owl' at the end.

Bones of St Nicholas: Didn't like this one too much tbh. It was a nice spooky story I guess, but not really what I'd expect from IN9 idk

Mother's Ruin: I'm glad I didn't watch this while I was eating something, lol. Idk, but I did quite like it. Lots of surprises (although I knew that it wasn't their mothers ghost talking lol)

Friday 13 (no, I can't remember that title and I'm not sorry xD): The first part was pretty funny, although really anxiety-inducing. That stuff about various annoying things happening when you just quickly need to do something happens in my dreams all the time and I hate it, lol. Well, the reveal of what it really was about was alright too. But I KNEW that something would happen in the end after all. I knew it.

Love is a Stranger: looking back it was so obvious what was going on, but it was a great misdirection, so I was nevertheless shocked when I realises the truth. Probably tells a story about prejudice and how it makes you perceive things and people

3 by 3: idk why, but this one made me really uncomfortable, even though I knew it was an ep of IN9 and not a quizshow. But I thought the twist was a bit too late, too small and if you knew what it was it was easy to pick up on the hints beforehand. I assume the effect would've been greater if watching it blind, but then I would've turned off long before the end of the episode because that was one lame quizshow :D

Last Weekend: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT ENDING, I think this is the first episode I definitely won't ever rewatch, lol.

Boo to a goose: this one made a big impression on me when I watched it and the social criticism is really important, but I think it loses a bit of its effect the more I think about it. It really is an interesting watch though and I kind of want to rewatch it to pick up on more hints like the ads on the windows etc.

Trolley Problem: I didn't expect the story to take this turn and I found it thrilling to watch (the mind game episodes are always the best ones tbh), but I can't really say much about it. Of course there's the moral thing that 'just doing nothing' doesn't mean you're free of any guilt.

Mulberry Close: I found this one oddly funny? The twist wasn't even that big, but the ending was just great black humour, I'd say.

CTRL ALT ESC: I actually really liked the metaphor, even though I didn't understand it at first. And I didn't expect that he'd actually made his 'escape', so the last minutes were pretty tense. Oh, and the title…I initially confused it with the command used to open the task manager, but that's Ctrl+Shift+Esc. The combination in the title is used to force a switch between the active and a background programmes (iirc), so in a sense…someone needed to use that key combination on him to get his programme aka consciousness to the surface again. Kinda clever, and yet you don't realise it immediately :O

Curse of the Ninth: Oh, I loved the classical music theme! The ending with that use of music (and the way he tricked her lol)! And Reece's character constantly getting Devonshire's name wrong was kinda hilarious to me…maybe because it didn't seem to fit the tone of the episode at all, haha.

Plodding On: They might as well have called this episode 'Steve and Reece say: RPF is fine' lol. It was an unusual episode, but idk, I kinda liked it. That fucking 'Time to say goodbye' clip collage tho…that song always almost makes me cry for some reason, haha.

[arobinwithoutbatman]

Light blue heart

Relationship Questions! I'll answer these as if they're adults and have reunited

who curses more? Internally? Tim. In his head, he swears like a sailor. The only reason he doesn't out loud is because it's still funny to wind Jason up with his terrible kids friendly swearing and has actaully only gotten funnier now that Tim is in his 20s

who is more patient? I'd say they're about equal in patience. Between their work as vigilantes and now CEOs and also just how long they've had to wait to reunite not knowing if the other was still going to be romantically available? And then waiting even longer just to avoid causing a too big media storm that would take attention away from the very causes they support and fund? Yeah, they're both incredibly patient. Though saying that, despite having improved, Tim is still not great in the kitchen so Dio has a smidgen more patience on that alone XD

who does the driving? If it's just for personal stuff? It's both of them again. Yes even for dates because the paparrazzi won't leave them alone so they try to arrive separately and discreetly.

who is louder? who is quieter? Tim. Dio has to watch himself because of the Isu powers related to his voice and it's very easy to slip into that range if he's not careful. Tim has no such limits being completely and utterly human.

who is more physically affectionate? Dio but only because Tim will forget that he does in fact require physical touch regularly and will not realise when he's starting to get touch starved again. Dio is also more likely to initiate for the same reason.

who is more likely to tease the other? They're pretty equal here too. They each give as good as they get and know each other's boundaries and how that changes when they're out as vigilantes. Their tactics just vary slightly.

who is better with time management? I want to say Dio? But only just? Tim still has a problem with zoning in and hyperfocusing to the point of completely losing track of time and his physical needs.

who wins the arm wrestling matches? Depends on the day honestly.

who controls the music in the car ride? If they're riding together? It's whoever wins rock paper scissors. It's the fairest method they've come up with.

who covers dinner when they order in? They take it in turns

who is more outgoing? who is more shy? Ooooo that's a tough one. Cause neither of them are exactly shy but they are both fairly introverted so don't enjoy going out of their way to spend time with strangers.

who has the more outlandish fashion sense? Neither of them. If they ever wear something outlandish, it's because Lio has called in a favour or he's doing some background matchmaking

who starts the tickle fights? who ends them? Dio typically starts them, usually to snap Tim out of his latest bout of hyperfocus. As for ending? It varies and depends on both of their moods and the current context.

who has the darker/more "edgy" sense of humor? I mean, they both have an inclination towards gallows humour these days...

who is more competitive when it comes to games? Oh Tim. 100% Tim. He's a bastard to play games with because he'll find loopholes in the rules or just strategise. Monopoly is banned. Civilization has to be carefully monitored purely because that game can take hours even when playing by yourself against AI. He's a nightmare.

who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth? Bigger appetite? Tim. Because he still is shit at recognising his hunger signals so when food is put in front of him, he inhales it because he probably accidentally skipped a meal again. Bigger sweet tooth? Dio because he actually likes sweet things while Tim can barely taste them unless the flavour is super strong and Tim prefers bitter and spicy flavours anyway.

who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public? Ooooo another tough one. Tim has developed a reputation for stepping in when he sees something happening, often to comfort parents or assist with someone struggling but makes a point of ignoring the person who started things so he can instead make their life hell from a distance and without it being connected to him. Dio also doesn't strike me as the type to handle things loudly in public. With both of them being public figures, that's something that the media can very easily twist and things could easily get out of hand from there.

who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them? As CEOs, they've hosted fundraisers and gatherings but the actual organising is typically left to their very qualified and very well paid staff. Just personal hangouts though? They handle that themselves since it's usually a very quick "Hey you free today? Wanna hang out in pajamas and do absolutely nothing and maybe make out a lil bit?" text.

who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other? Dio is the better cook. Tim has practiced and he's better than he was in his teens but he is still miles away from Dio's skill. But yes they do cook for each other when they get the chance.

who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior? ...Dio used to kill people for the Templars and Court of Owls and Tim has been a vigilante since he was 13. They've both bene breaking the law for at least half their lives.

who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other? Dio. He's quicker to notice smaller cues. Tim will notice that something is off and a pattern has changed but, unless his anxiety and/or paranoia are running particularly high that day, he doesn't immediately jump to "something's wrong."

who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)? They take turns.

who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support? Pretty equal here too honestly

who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it? They're as bad as each other. Tim will do the more complex pranks like hacking into Dio's phone and messing with his playlist while he's working out.

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

decided to rewatch the ending of super mario galaxy for Fic Research Reasons and i don't know if it's because i'm focusing on background details or if its because its a little past my bedtime or what but this entire cutscene had me crying laughing. i forgot how hard this goes!

but also the part where Mario catches Peach is fucking hilarious mainly because of Bowser Junior in the background. Like. Mario sees him first, tumbling like 30 feet above the airship, and then he looks at said airship, and then he sees Peach. And then he catches Peach, and they're twirling around all cute and shit and meanwhile Junior just careens past them toward that really big lava planet thing and they don't even look at him. Iconic. I was literally going frame by frame in absolute hysterics i don't know why this got me so bad XD What the fuck even happened to that airship for gravity to suddenly act upon it like that??? Did taking the last grand star inadvertently deactivate something important??? Honestly, this unanswered question is gonna haunt me for a while, lmaooo

and then i know its been a while since i'd watched the cutscene but also i didnt realize the giant black hole fucking obliterated the rest of the airships oh my god??? and the Comet Observatory??? Not Peach's Castle though. That one gets to stay intact the whole way down :) whoever built it should be proud~

anyway yeah i'm losing my mind but for all the wrong reasons weh ^^;

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

[dzpenumbra]

9/25/22

Here's a good idea. Let's take all the good music. You know, all that shit we all feel nostalgic and warm about? That we love so dearly and have amazing memories attached to. Lets make it so that anyone isn't this car company or this insurance company cannot fucking play it or else they will get sued. That way we really make sure that people associate these songs with this fucking brand of car. It's really important we make sure that this music stays limited to those who can afford to pay homage to their mentors. I mean why the fuck would we let people play meme song mashups as a background in a professional skateboarder's official part? We would be losing out in all this revenue! I mean, if you really think about it... if you really stretch it... he's really stealing from the musicians!!! He's making ad revenue off the musicians! GUYS WE CAN'T BE HAVING THIS! Think of the musicians!!!

So that ad revenue, fuck it, lets do math, okay. So from what I'm seeing it's between $0.01-$0.03 per ad view, so let's just go with $0.02 (though I'm absolutely sure Dan has got to be 1 cent, I mean they've gotta save the 3's for like celebrities and companies and shit. So naw, we're going with $0.01 per ad view. It's saying on google that you expect to make like $3-5 per 1000 video views. So 21K people watched this video in the last 12 hours, that's $65. I just got so damn lost in math, looking at youtube income websites and shit. Good lord it's just all fuckin japanese to me, I'm trying to understand it but got it's just like so many fucking people with their hands in the pot that it's hard to tell what's going on. YouTube takes their big ol' cut, you get what you get. Then the record company knocks at the door.

You see, their local patrol drones have automatically sensed that sound patterns in your video are identical to their proprietor's legal dominion. I mean, when you filter out all the additional content. And really get to the core of why people are going to a weird West Coast East Coaster Skateboarder's channel. The music. We gotta get this music here, I mean where the fuck else are we gonna find Beautiful People/All I Want For Christmas mashup. Oh I don't know, just search "beautiful people all I want" and literally the first thing that pops up is a video of it with 4.4 million views. Let's fucking cut the shit, this clearly isn't a market substitute. Listening to Kristoff Krane's "AL7ONE" as a background song for a weird artsy video, or a skate video, or something... That is obviously not a market substitute. Are we really pretending that it is? How did so many people get fleeced by this?

The big kicker, the musicians don't even see the money from this. It's the middlemen lining their pockets all the way down. YouTube takes a big chunk, the record labels take a big chunk, then the musicians get pennies. So I wonder... how much of that $65 that Dan could have made if he had monetized the video would actually have gone to the musician who made it. Or would the revenue just be shifted over to the musician's official video? You know, the video that doesn't have a professional skateboarder skating over it? You know, the video that has 4 million views and is literally just a combination of two different famous songs' stems over spliced music videos and live performances? That original content? I mean, don't get me wrong, I do think they're both art forms and both deserve respect as such... but... Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this.

How the fuck is a skate video not a separate unique artistic expression from the music within it? It's just mind boggling that we're still doing this. We need a much better system for getting musicians paid than this, it's just fucked. I am saying this as a goddamn musician too, let's not get things all mixed up. I was primarily a musician for a long time. I decided art would be a more practical financial life decision! XD Get these fucking labels out of the damn picture, what the fuck are they doing, just hoarding venue and radio connections and farming musicians to bleed dry over their entire career, even after they fucking die? And they take the lion's share for this? The non-musicians make most of the money in music. And this shit is happening on YouTube too, obviously, with all kinds of content creation.

This is really pissing me off, sorry. My mind is just swimming with outrage right now. Like... fuck the hell off already. You are getting your music exposed to a new audience. We're not trying to sell a fucking truck with your song. We are not aligning your song with a political party. We are paying tribute to something we love. We are sharing it with a new audience who would otherwise not be searching for this because they didn't even know it existed.

YouTube needs to get their shit together and figure out a way to just give musicians royalties whenever their song is detected playing... which they clearly have the technology to detect it... Or they need to figure out a separate system that has to do with musicians getting paid. A parallel system, so we can go back to the old times when people weren't terrified of doing an acoustic cover of Wonderwall and leaving it open to make a few bucks off of your creative practice. There is no reason why we should be afraid of monetizing an acoustic cover of Wonderwall on YouTube. Zero. There isn't an argument here.

We need to get these record labels out of here, it's just fucked everything the hell up. People are on edge, man. The stock market is crashing, the economy's in the toilet, and these suits. I really wanna emphasize this. These people who wear suits and are quite wealthy, and are typically not musically inclined. They are raking in ad revenue off of countless thousands of different creators. For doing. Nothing. For having given that artist a studio, album distribution and some tour dates... years ago. These people are not hurting for cash. They are rarely even currently involved with the artists they siphon from. It's like the mafia or something man, weird vibes from that shit.

I really don't know why we just let them bully us with lawyers. I guarantee they ain't going to court over this. Not a 7 minute skate video. I think everyone knows it's a bluff. But YouTube didn't call them on their bluff. Those pussies literally gave them a system to file takedowns rather than stand up to them. Either that or they saw more money to be made. At this point, I'd bet a bit of both.

This shit is honestly probably why the economy is this bad. That's a huge imbalance that's making these careers less and less viable. These careers are insanely important, morale, creativity, art, music, all that shit. I can actually see in my writing how tired I'm getting. XD

I'm obviously very upset that Dan Corrigan didn't monetize his part because he didn't want to deal with being demonetized - having his income temporarily frozen because an automated bot flagged his video for asset seizure. Instead, he had to consciously redirect his viewers to show appreciation on other videos, or on Patreon or something. Because these motherfuckers decided to get greedy. And this is their playground. So we play by their rules. And we humble ourselves. And we beg our friends to put in some extra effort to help compensate us for the art we create. And we look like schmucks. And we feel like schmucks. Sad, bullied schmucks. Sorry guys, I had to demonetize it. You know how it is. So... I know this is awkward... but if you wanna help out because like... I know you just watched some ads... and that money didn't go to me... and you're here to watch my video... that I worked really fucking hard on... that I do for a living... you know, that thing, the reason you're here. Remember? If you wanna donate or something, just drop it on another video. Because I'd rather take the $65 hit than line the pockets of a hypocrite.

Maybe that was the perfect song. Maybe Dan is a genius. Maybe he picked that song because it's a monetized mashup. That person has 4 million views, thats gotta be... like $12,000 at least. If the dude who mashed up Marilyn Manson and Mariah Carey gets the ad revenue from the pro skateboarder who used the song in the video... I mean... how can you even justify that?! So does that money just go straight to Manson and Carey? Does it just bypass that mashup dude entirely?! See how fucked this is? But it doesn't even go to Manson and Carey, I would bet it goes to Interscope and Colombia, and Interscope is UMG and they flag fuckin eeeeeverything. Like... this shit is just so fucking ridiculous.

I need to get off this already. It's clearly heavy on my mind as I make the transition over to YouTube and off of Twitch. Ads are king over here and it feels like the wild fuckin west as far as music. Like watch your fuckin back, they'll nail your channel if you miss a beat. So I wanna go collect small talented independent musicians like Pokemon and make massive playlists for streams. Like 4-6 hour or more playlists of good ass music by honest super-talented musicians from all over that refuse to go with record labels. That just want their music in a good place - shared by friends with friends - and being appreciated, not peddled by businessmen or used to sell a grooming tool.

Let me channel Jesus here, flipping the tables at the Temple.

That was a big moment for me. I had never read about that before. It makes me anxious. It makes me feel like people still act like that. And it scares me to be someone who would speak out against it. Because it doesn't end well for people who do. And I really hope people are getting better than this. That was a very long time ago, thousands of years. We don't have to like... keep being like this. We can find a way for everyone to get what they need, to be happy. To all have a roof over our heads, and food, and water, and loving company. I really do hope we can all figure this out. We've weaved a web so complicated, built this society structure so intricately that it's hard to remember that we're mammals. We're animals. And all we really need is just food, water, shelter, temperature regulation and love. At the end of the day. That's really it. That was me trying to talk myself out of a panic attack. And it worked pretty well. Because it's true. It hit me insanely hard.

I want to be an "artist". I want to be outraged. I want to tell people "you have to fucking stop". I want to run down the streets shaking people. But I'm scared of what people will do to me. I'm scared of the cost. People will do really fucked up things for money. And me? I don't even want it. For real. All I want is the tools I need to make new interesting, inspiring art and get it to people who want it, who my art and writing and music will serve. To those who will use and appreciate it. In addition, I want housing, food, clothing. That's pretty much it. Anything more than that is a bonus, honestly. But I need money for that. I can't just trade art for a house. Or music for food.

It's kinda fucked up that like... this is kinda like the catalyst that led to Jesus dying, right? And... we're not like... pissed off like Jesus was? We're like... the Roman populace. Like... isn't the Bible rooting on Team Jesus? Or did I miss something there, I literally read the wiki on that for the first time tonight... Why are we okay with this commerce infestation? Why are we okay living in the Den of Thieves? Is it because we know what happens to those who try to put a stop to it? Are we just repeating history? Has it always been like this? Is there anything we can do about it? I really do hope we can. I just don't feel like I'm brave enough to be the one who screams it from the mountaintops and shakes people on the streets. The outraged revolutionary. I'd rather just write about it in my journal. Or think it and discard the thought from view. It's safer. -_-

I see the dawn light coming in the window again. I'm very scattered and stressed tonight. Mostly good stress, but this one just set off a lot of shit. The people I know who suffer the most are very talented creatives who have been forced to live the wrong life. By a system that is not designed with everyone's best interest in mind. And I see a gleaming jewel like YouTube or Twitch or Patreon. Venues they can use to finally be the people they want to be. And then they get demonetized. And striked. For stupid shit. And they have to be insanely paranoid at all times about "is it safe? is it safe? can I play that? am I allowed? will I get in trouble? will the bad man come after me? will he threaten me and take my money?". All because they chose to take a giant leap to pursue their passions. The weight is enough for most to quit.

I'm still gonna show up. I'm still gonna try. And I'm gonna cheer those I see potential in on as well, encourage them to take the leap.

Yeah, I'm just trailing off at this point, bed has been calling me for a while. Thanks for listening to this rant. It's a very frustrating and scary topic that really doesn't have a lot of good answers, but I hope we can all look back on this in like 5 years and go "man, we really had no idea what were doing back then, did we... geez... Things are so much better now." Here's to you, creatives. Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning.