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slavghoul · 3 years ago

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Interview from Soundi 4/2022

This one was done very early in March so nothing new in terms of news, but he talks a great deal about his youth and past projects, which I think is very cool.

What role did music play in your family and in your life growing up in the 1980s and 90s in Linköping?

- My family was very interested in music and really consumed a lot of it, but we weren't the kind of a family that played or sang a lot. I think my mother and my brother could have been very musical, but they just never got into it. My dad had been in a band way back in the 60s, but he too chose photography as a career. Still, a certain artistry was always present in our lives. We have all always been very aesthetic. Both of my brothers have also written a lot.

What were the turning points in your youth or the things that ignited your passion for music? You have often mentioned your older brother, who passed away in 2010, as an important mentor.

- My parents divorced when I was born. My father always had a separate life with a different family, so my mother raised me and my brother on her own. My older brother was already a teenager when I was just a toddler. This led to two things. First, there was no sibling rivalry between us. He always took care of me and to a certain extent was very responsible, although he did do some silly things like taking me to gigs and parties when I was a kid. Secondly, he exposed me to a lot of different culture. For as long as I can remember, I've always been surrounded by diverse influences. That's why I have such vivid images of the '80s, even though I was just a little kid at the time. Pop culture from the mid-80s onwards defined my life as a child. My brother would come home and say, "Look at this! I just found Prince's new album", holding Purple Rain. Then we devoured the album in its entirety. So it's no wonder I've always been interested in music. It's been a part of me for longer than I can remember.

Over the decades you've written music and lyrics, played the guitar, drums and piano, sung and even recorded albums yourself. Do you feel you are first and foremost a guitarist, or do you really identify with any instrument?

- I'm okay with all those instruments, but I'm not particularly good at any of them. I sort of started as a drummer after finding my grandmother's weaving looms in the house. I started beating on our corner sofa! I did that for years. I've been singing forever too. Even before I had my voice break, I tried to sing in a 60s style, really deep, like Jim Morrison. But I didn't become a singer, and now I'm just okay at it because I've done it so much. At the same time I've got worse as a guitar player. During Ghost, I didn't practice playing as much as I should have. This is a shame really. The guitar is the most rockin' instrument because you play it by dangling it over your crotch! But I've been playing it since I was 7, so I'll never be a total failure at it. If you put me in any cover band, I'm sure I could emulate any rock or pop style of playing. Theoretically I'm pretty clueless, and my strength has been more that I have a keen ear for music.

In the 1990s and 2000s, you did ten years of black and death music with Superior and Repugnant (Forge used the stage name Mary Goore). Even with Ghost, you can still tell that extreme metal means a lot to you.

- Extreme metal is appealing in a very primal way, and death metal is still one of my favourite genres. I'm still a metal collector and I listen to it a lot. When I was 11 or 13 years old in the early 90s, I started buying records and magazines, devouring all kinds of music. Candlemass, King Diamond, Coroner, Mercyful Fate, Bathory, Testament and countless other bands appealed to me. In an instant, I was a head-to-toe rocker and I knew I was on the verge of something that would forever be important to me. The emergence of Entombed, Dismember and other Swedish death metal felt different. Suddenly I saw them on local TV channels and in OK! magazine stories. Almost all the teenage boys in town were wearing Morbid Angel shirts.They all started wearing black. It was a phase in life for a lot of people. For me, it's been my whole life.

The Papa Emeritus and Cardinal Copia characters, as well as some of the Ghost lyrics, are still pure extreme metallic catalogue, which in turn draws from horror and history.

- This also dates back to the 90s, when there was a record store in Stockholm called House Of Kicks. I was completely freaked out when I entered it for the first time, I felt like I was walking straight into a horror movie. Soon everything around me revolved around horror films and satanic imagery. At that age, it all felt completely intense. Given that my family was Christian, that was the opposite of what I should have been looking for. I think the 90s is my favourite period of my musical life. When everything was still new and wonderful, and I hadn't yet grasped the inevitable business loops and laws behind it all.

In retrospect, Repugnant became a cult band with their demos, EP and Epitome Of Darkness album (2006), but you've said that being in that band was a frustrating period for you because of the constant stagnation.

- If you had asked me when I was 17 or even 21 what I wanted from music, I would have said I wanted to be signed to a major label and tour the world, not just be part of a small underground band forever. When that didn't happen, I started to lose my inspiration for Repugnant. We were completely behind the times, which was cool for a while, but if you couldn't see any future for it, it was hard to keep the hunger alive. Ever since I was a little kid I've been fascinated by the idea of making really, really melodic and catchy music. I've always been a fan of huge rock and pop bands. I thought I could do that too. Partly because in the metal scene the idea was strictly forbidden. I wanted to break the idea that the same person can't belong to both worlds.

At the turn of the millennium, you joined the forerunner of glam rock, Crashdiet. Just a few years later, you made several EP releases and one album with hardrockers Subvision.

- Crashdiet was initially a therapy project, but it also showed that I was quite puritanical about a certain kind of rock. I soon realised that me and Dave (Lepard, guitar) were pursuing quite different things. I was a big glam rock fan. The New York Dolls and all those bands up to Guns N' Roses. Dave was more into sleaze rock bands. I didn't care for Poison, Stryper and all that stuff when rock became lime green entertainment. We went out on our own with a few Crashdiet mates to do what we thought that kind of rock was all about. Rock where old glam meets punk aesthetics. Subvision became a kind of hybrid. It was too metal to become a popular pop rock band, but it was also too pop and rock to be a proper metal band. We were operating in the middle of all this, where there was nothing. We made some really bad decisions and worked with a manager who didn't have the right weapons to back up what we were doing. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time again.

If the stars had aligned and you had hit it off properly, could Subvision have been the band you would have experienced creative fulfillment with as well?

- I'm happy that neither Crashdiet or Subvision became anything bigger when I was in my twenties. I could have easily ruined it all. If the breakthrough had happened back then, it would all be over. I was arrogant and naive. The fact that I have managed to do some things right with Ghost is because, for all my mistakes, I knew better what to do. Even now I have not managed to avoid all the mistakes, as we well know. Besides, I would have hated most of the music we wrote at the time. I never want to hear again any of the songs I wrote with Subvision. They make me sick. Those songs were too close to me. Too personal. Ghost also has a lot of my own personality, but it doesn't come out in the same way. I realised at the time that what was much more interesting to me was how I told the stories.

Was this the moment when you came up with the idea of the stage characters seen on the front of Ghost? It's guaranteed you a quirky, secretive avenue to create music.

- Yes. While I was in Repugnant and Crashdiet, I played a few gigs with a honky-tonk band. I found I liked being undercover. I wanted to do things in secret. Not to become famous in my own face or to put myself in the spotlight for some egoistic reason, but because it is a fun concept. The experience made me feel that if I create a kind of figure that gets all the attention, I can still be myself behind the scenes. That way, I could look at my creations objectively, because I'm kind of doing it for someone else.

When Ghost's debut Opus Eponymus came out, you were almost 30 years old and trying to achieve success with several bands. What were your goals for Ghost? Would you have continued making albums if this project had remained a marginal audience affair?

- I would have been more than happy if Ghost had remained a small, stable business that I could have done on top of everything else. That was my idea from the beginning, when I was writing my debut for four years. My original vision was not where we are now. I could never have seen an occult rock project achieving commercial success. I didn't make Ghost with the idea that this was my breakthrough. I just thought that if I'm going to do something creative with my life, it has to be something that I really feel. I imagined myself doing something in the same spirit as Diamanda Galas, Dead Can Dance or Sunn O))). Not in the sense that my music sounds like any of those, but that it's some kind of art installation. As if we were a theatre show rather than a band. My goal was that we would perform in Helsinki Opera House at the most.

When did you realise that Ghost was on its way to a size where you could realise your dream of an artistically independent, yet gigantic show touring the world with a rock band?

- The biggest step I've taken in my entire career was when I leapt from complete nothingness to at least being something with a future. That was in March 2010, when I released my first songs on Myspace. It was kind of an overnight breakthrough. Before that night, maybe about ten people knew about Ghost. The next minute the number was in the thousands. It. Was. Totally. Unbelievable. Just the sheer number of people who were glowing about Ghost and the number of people who made loud declarations about how much they hated us was a signal that we had spawned something powerful. That could have ended in a brief shock, but song, album and concert after song, it just kept going. And it still goes on. You can see it with every new single release. Everyone has an opinion about Ghost. Wow! Moments abound from then on. Like seeing James Hetfield wearing a Ghost shirt in an interview that was seen all over Swedish television. It was a gigantic, huge moment that I will never forget. Or when Darkthrone's Fenriz listed us as one of the metal bands of the future, which sounds pretty funny now knowing our music.

The last stadium-level heavy rock bands, such as Guns N' Roses and Metallica, cemented their size category more than 30 years ago. Even then, heavy rock was still mainstream. Ghost, on the other hand, made its breakthrough in the 2010s, when rock was definitely not big.

- So, similarly, many 80s rock bands like Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne grew to be huge because they managed to make a few albums that were part of the pop peak of the time. The rock they made was what was topping the Billboard charts at the time. Now it's a different story. Ghost is not hip-hop, r'n'b or experimental pop made by young artists. In the metal world, people think we're doing really commercial things, but in the big picture we're just a footnote to the fact that someone is still making old-fashioned music. We're the odd bird that gets a Grammy every now and then for some reason. I don't know if there's continuity for us. I'm pretty sure that everything we do with Ghost could change at any time. And it will. Sooner or later I'm going to realize that the peak of our career passed some time ago, and now people are talking about something completely different. I'm happy as long as I manage to make music to which people's first reaction is some kind of exclamation mark. It means that we still stand out from the crowd, but you can't repeat that forever.

At first, Ghost was just you. Then came the Nameless Ghouls, a band of faceless members. Later, you even had to go to court with them, as they demanded a larger share of Ghost's income. Now Ghost is just you again. Is self-governance the best solution for Ghost, or do you long for a full-blooded band activity?

- The biggest mistake I ever made was to think for a single second that Ghost could be both. When I was in my thirties, I thought the same as many people that age. I worried that my youth was over and that I was losing my grip on my friends. I feared that life would put us on our own rafts and we'd drift in different directions. By the time Ghost hit, I was at a point in my life where I had a job for once, had two kids and had taken some pretty big steps towards adulthood. Up until then, I had been single and unemployed. Ready to go out into the world at a moment's notice. By the turn of the 2010s, I hadn't given up on those dreams, but I had settled down. To put it really cynically, I needed some guys because I couldn't do Ghost alone. It was easy to ask these friends I didn't want to lose touch with to join me. Invite them to a party, so to speak. I was absolutely sure that we were going to experience something that was going to be fun, and I wanted to experience it with friends. I had already done most of the groundwork for Ghost. The whole concept was there. We had a record deal. The rest of them were sitting at a ready-made table. Some of these people were sceptical about whether this was going to be anything at all. They were moaning about how stupid it all sounds, and how silly they look in their outfits. Although these same people have since said that Ghost meant a lot to them, it is nothing compared to what it means to me. Ghost is everything to me from 2006 onwards. So I just had to give up the idea that this was something I could with other people. It wasn't that from the beginning, and I shouldn't have forced this concept into a band. I lied to myself for a while about it.

With decisions like this and your records, many people see you as a confident and visionary musician who knows what you're doing. In what ways are you outside your own comfort zone and the most insecure?

- I'm usually confident about music, but the next moment I might be unsure about the same things. However, I never doubt myself to the point of feeling completely useless. There are a lot of people who dabble in designing houses, building them and then selling them for a small profit that just about compensates for the resources spent on them. I experience composing in much the same way. Every piece is like a new project. A new goal that I try to achieve as successfully as possible. I don't settle for easy solutions. I might throw a few of my colleagues under the bus when I say that quite a few musicians are content to make whatever sound they want for 45 minutes. As long as the band keeps going and going. I don't get the fulfilment of making an album every two or three years because that's just the way it has to be. It's important to me to try and write the best songs I can. Even in my Repugnant days, my desire to write recognisable songs was high. I wanted it to be the superstar in its genre. This creates situations where I know what I want, but I can't seem to find the means to achieve my goal.

How do you get out of such locked situations when composing?

- I may be a bit of a control freak in some things, but I'm not afraid to admit I need help to achieve a bigger goal. That's where co-writing sessions very often help, as I did on the new album with Joakim Berg, Salem Al Fakir, Vincent Pontare, Max Grahn, Peter Svensson and Klas Åhlund. I also developed a little imagination exercise for myself years ago. In a locked situation, I imagine for a moment that I am another musician, writing music for a completely different band. What if I were this person from this band who always does these things well, I think, and I start a kind of role-play. That little imaginative exercise has often opened up possibilities in any number of directions. In a way, it's the same kind of opportunity opener for objectivity that all the visible role-playing has been.

When we last spoke in March 2019, the tours for the Prequelle album were in their final stages. You said at the time that you had a clear vision for Ghost's fifth album. Now, two and a half years later, Impera has been released. How much do your visions for the albums change as you make them?

- Can I make a small reference to Star Wars? You may know how different George Lucas' original idea of a single Star Wars film was, and what the franchise has grown into. Even before a second of the album was written, I knew I wanted to write an album about empires and their disintegration. I knew what kind of visual expression would go alongside all that. I had also sketched out what songs should be on the album at what stage, so that my idea of the right kind of drama would be realised. The idea of all this may have been in my head since 2014, but Ghost albums are not finished until they are finished. I'm always making changes to the albums, all the time and even in the last few moments. There are always some decisions and choices to be made, because every beat and every melody has to have a meaning.

After Prequelle's melodic, catchy and poppy Ghost, it was certainly possible to continue in the same vein and guarantee steady growth. You chose a different path, and Impera's melodic language, rhythm and atmosphere is like the joy of 80s rock squeezed through the formal language of the vicious Ghost.

My goal has always been to write new music. New experiments. If my music matters, all the better. If it stands on its own feet as something that has meant something to someone, great. At the point when I'm writing music and trying to do my job, if you think of composing as a job, I can't think at all about what my music is, what it isn't, what it could be, what it can't be or what it will mean. I just have to try to make something as good as possible until the whole album crystallises in my mind. I might find that this song is like a closing song, this is the last act, so it doesn't matter if it lasts seven minutes. It's not a song that could become a hit, so it doesn't need to be compressed into a form that could be played on the radio. Similarly, I might have a song in my hands that screams "Hit! Hit! Hit!" and it may be a good idea to trim it a little and make sure that the song has the right seeds to reach its potential. It's about not shying away from any means when you have a certain imagery in mind that you want the music to express.

One of the unwritten rules in rock's history is that at some point, even big bands will turn around and change their style completely. Ghost has already flirted with many genres, but how far could you go here? Could you imagine doing something completely different, like a hip-hop album, and succeeding?

- I don't know if my rap record would be good, hah hah, but if it seemed topical, why not? I think I understand the design language of hip-hop, which I like. Of course, my interest in the genre is limited because I only like a certain type of hip-hop from a certain period, i.e. the late 80s and early 90s. Sampling is the most fascinating part of hip hop. You can take any part of the music that you like, whether it's an old soul track or a be-bop song, find a rhythm to give it flow and get someone to rap over it. Public Enemy, Run-DMC, Cypress Hill, House Of Pain... all that stuff that sounded very different from most of the hip-hop of today. At the time, hip-hop's message could be very loud, but it was also celebratory, hit-making and in a certain, strange way, joyful. The tone could be very self-ironic and the music even sounded funny. Hip-hop today often feels like a feverish nightmare, whereas the Beastie Boys, for example, had a more colourful feel. The core idea of Beastie Boys is something that I feel a kinship with in Ghost. If I wanted to make a death metal album that sounded like it was made in 1987, I could do it. If I wanted to make a punk album that sounded like 1977, I could do that too. But writing an urban hip-hop album? I'm not entirely sure… but maybe that’s exactly why I should do it someday.

#the band ghost #tobias forge #interview

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mytastessuck · 4 years ago

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Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

#gorillaz #humanz #music #review

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straksverliefd · 3 years ago

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How am I fucking supposed to keep going and keep dreaming and keep hoping for the good things to come when all I'm fucking told is "no"? And people I personally know are out there living MY fucking dream? How the fuck my parents have the audacity to keep telling me that my time will come if EVERY SINGLE TIME NOTHING GOES THE WAY I WANT IT TO GO? Never. How am I supposed to keep going if no one cares enough and the only thing that kept me hopeful enough were good grades in school but now I barely have them? How? How am I supposed to keep it together if no one stays, no one comes and nothing works in MY favour?

I've always had one single dream, in various shades, but it was always the fucking same, since when I was nine and not a single time things went the way I wanted and needed them to go. And my mum even makes me feel guilty if I share the fact that first of all I will live nowhere near my home town, but bro I'm so sick of this city, these people and the fucking fact that you keep me tied up and then even complain if I don't leave.

And then I tell my parents I don't believe in God and they have the audacity to tell me that I will grow out of this teenage phase. Dude, if he actually exists and cares then fuck him cause I can't stand the idea that he's been leaving me behind, so sorry not sorry I refuse to rely on someone. I don't even on myself.

And they complain if I suggest that people have the chance to marry with only the witnesses without any kind of bullshit ceremony and shit and they tell me "you won't be married for us if you do something like that". Wait till I tell them that I want to change my surname if I ever get married.

And don't get me started when I tell them I don't want kids. They told that not wanting them because it's a lot to deal with is a selfish decision. Bro, your decision to have them so you guys are satisfied is selfish, not me not wanting them because I fucking know I'm emotionally unavailable and unable to give children the kind of support they need. I understand if my grandma from the 40s tells me that a woman is not complete without children (even though I disagree), because she grew up in a totally different environment, but my parents who lived their young years through the 80s and 90s... no, I fucking refuse to accept that.

I'm probably changing the subject, but fuck, I have so much sadness and anger repressed that no one values that I feel the literal need to disappear out of nowhere, change identity, change nation and make myself unreachable. But the one friend I told this to barely understood what I meant. Because yes, sis, I would be dead to you too, no exception.

I need to cry, but I can't because I had to listen to a certain someone once telling me that what I was feeling was stupid that I'm not able to value my own feelings. For people it's like I shouldn't have any of them. I'm not in the right to.

So, for all those who are going through this path, you are not the only ones, we're alone, but we will be our own strength

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musicoccurred · 4 years ago

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Mixtapes

The mixtape, a word that is dependent on who's using it and when. I'm middle-aged and came up in the 80s and 90s so it means something different to me than a kid today or a band camp rapper. Having said that, let's take a look at the different usages of mixtape and see if we can crown a winner of the top type of mixtape.

For those of us with achy knees and patches of gray in our hair, a mixtape was, first and foremost, actually on a tape. Now there were themes involved just as there are now with some of the others I'll mention in a bit. For instance, every Sunday there was Rick Dees Weekly Top 40 radio show. I would often drop a blank cassette in my boom box and hit record. I would then go watch TV in the living room and keep an ear out for the telltale 'click' of the tape running out. I'd run back to my room, flip the tape, and hit record again. You have to understand, before the internet, geez that never not sounds old, the radio ruled. Even with albums, cassettes, and later CDs you still listened to the radio all the time. That's why I love XM so much, there's something about having someone curate music for you. And even today with every song available at the tap of a finger there's something awesome when your jam comes on the radio. It just hits different. I digress. So now at the end of the countdown you have the top 40 songs of the week, or however many you had enough tapes for... You can now make a mixtape of your favorite tracks. Radio also had "Request and Dedication" shows where you could call in and request a song and give a little dedication to your amore. You could record that and toss it at the beginning of the mixtape and good things happen. Another type would be artist specific. Say you were a Michael Jackson fan, you could take Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad and make a tape of your favorite songs from each. Another would be genre, when I was first getting into blues and jazz, I'd borrow tapes from my Mom and friends to make mix tapes. And last but not least, the mixtape for your love interest. These were the ultimate, you'd diligently record songs from the radio and mix in a song or two from either an artist she didn't know or an obscure song from a known artist to show you were a deep brother. You weren't done yet! You'd then work hard on the label and of course the note to go along with those 10 songs that perfectly sum up your feelings for that person. On a side note, I'd like to take this opportunity to say if you were the object of my unrequited affection and received one of these, I apologize. Unless you liked it, then, hey girl.

Next up we have the burned CD mixtape. It is the evolutionary cousin to the cassette mixtape. While it took a while for CD burners to become ubiquitous, they eventually showed up, primarily in PCs. What was lost in recording from the radio was picked up by being able to download from Napster and pass along. Additionally, you could write or draw on the CD itself and the labels, if you went that route, were larger for track listing and any other info you wanted to toss in there.

Now we're moving on to the streaming portion of the discussion:

Note: I'm using playlist and mixtape interchangeably here.

One step removed from the burned CD and what seems lightyears beyond the cassette technologically is the custom, personally curated playlist. This can be a playlist you do for yourself; I have several in Spotify. I will sometimes dump an entire artist's collection in there to shuffle, or perhaps include only the tracks I like best. I also have one for jazz and one for funk called 'greasy.' But in the spirit of this piece, I'm thinking of a playlist that you create for someone else and share the link with them. I actually like this, not only can you send them a custom mix of songs that can express how you feel about them, but you can update the playlist anytime. It can be romantic or simply sharing new tunes with a homie.

Next, we have the algorithmically created playlist. When you sign in Spotify (I'm assuming other services offer similar features) and you get the daily list or the multiple "just for you" selections, this is what I'm referring to. Spotify uses the data from your listening habits to create playlists with songs from artists they think you'll like. It's pretty accurate with a few swings and misses. I have to say I'm a fan of including these playlists as well as listing other artists similar to the one you're listening to. I've discovered so many new bands this way. Alternatively, there are playlists that are created based on other factors. I work out with playlists on Spotify and XM such as Hip hop workout or Lithium Workout. These are likely created based on a beats per minute count. Some don't really fit the workout but have a faster beat. Overall, I like this style of mixtape/playlist.

Finally, we have the artist mixtape. This is generally hip hop but isn't necessarily limited to any specific genre. I relate it to an EP being released prior to an LP back in the day. Some of these have very rapid turnarounds, like a day or two so sometimes the quality of the mix isn't that great but topically it's right on time.

So how do these rank in terms of which mixtape format is best? Let's find out!

5. Artist Mixtape - This may be one of those "not for you" cases but I'm not a fan of most of these I've heard. Some are pretty good, but most feel rushed or worse, don't have a cohesive feel to the tracks. The ability for artists to drop tracks near instantly is pretty amazing and I do like the idea of it. We'll see how that continues to develop.

4. Algorithmically created playlist - While I use these pretty much every single day, they lack the human touch - hello, algorithm - which is what makes the mixtape great.

3. Burned CD - I probably surprised you here with this at number 3. I do think it has a lot of strengths and is still a physical object that gives the human touch. But there were some issues. If you're old enough to have gone through the burned CD era, you'll know the pain of burning a CD for it to simply not work. Sometimes the person you gave it to had a CD player that wouldn't play those or you needed a CD -R or +R or RW, it was awful.

2. Personally curated playlist - While fully digital and not that personal this does have the ability to add and remove songs as you go. Plus, when you email the link to the person you can toss in a nice note about how you thought about them when making it.

1. Cassette - I mean come on, it's called a mixTAPE right? Clear winner here. Yeah, I'm old but there was something about it.

Epilogue:

I listen to either streaming music or records. I'm resisting the urge to get back into cassettes even though I have a couple decks and tapes. My cassette collection didn't survive growing up. Honestly, I have no idea where they went. I still have my CDs but before I would play a CD, I would stream it. There's something human about playing a record or a cassette. We are a touching, feeling creature and it means something to flip that tape over or to hold the liner notes on a record. I think that's lost on the younger folks. As everything is digitized and available on a screen it loses some of its meaning. I like buying concert tickets online but man, there's something about lining up at Macy's or JC Penney's or wherever your ticket office was and buying a physical ticket they handed you. When I have the option, even if it's a couple bucks more I still try to get physical tickets. In 20 years, I can look at that stub and remember the show, I can't do that with a barcode on an app.

What's your favorite format or mixtape/playlist?

-js

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atomictiki · 7 years ago

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Could you describe what's so great about Urusei Yatsura? You blog about it and the main girl and really the anime overall looks super cute. What is it that draws you to it so much specifically? I'm debating watching it with my wife.

I’ve been thinking about this question for a few days, I like Urusei Yatsura so much for many reasons, the biggest of which is a double dose of nostalgia (I’ll get to that bit at the end)

This is kind of long and rambling so I’ll save everyone by putting it under the cut (this is mostly stream of consciousness so excuse the bad grammar / nonsense)

Characters: The characters in UY are interesting not so much because of the variety (thought that is a factor) but that they all have flaws as well as strengths. Lum is not perfect, she’s just as flawed as Ataru. They express moments of anger, jealousy, selfishness, sadness, laughter, thoughtfulness and, once in a while, tenderness. The way it flows through the stories means you could have somebody doing something very stupid, having regrets, and flowing back into a big frantic mess. There aren’t many stories like it. It also doesn’t feel overly unnatural or forced, despite the wild stories. That was something that really drew me in. It would be easy to say I like UY because Lum is generally a sex symbol and that Ataru is the comedy gremlin BUT the fact that they round out in interesting ways, ways the compliment each other and the world they inhabit? Wow.

The Humor: If there’s one thing I love its Dadaist humor, and UY has it in spades. Beyond the visual puns, beyond even the accessible puns that anyone could understand, there is a nuance to everything and when I re-watch the anime or re-read the comics there’s always a little something extra I notice. All of it works in together, Rumiko Takahashi is devilishly funny and she just let the floodgates open here.

Sci-Fi elements: Why yes, I am a huge nerd, and yes seeing a sci-fi show that wasn’t just about giant robots bashing each other, flying a space-faring battleship to Iscandar get help from Queen Starsha or desperately ignoring 7-Zark-7 was something that appealed to me. But it was more than Sci-Fi it was also Japanese folklore and other assorted weird stuff that all kids love (Frankenstein’s Monster? Darth Vader?? A UFO taxi that charges the low, low price of all the hydrocarbons on planet earth???) HELL YEAH.

The Visual Style and anything goes Setting: It’s not unusual to see mundane stuff interwoven with absurd things, in fact the series grounds itself in one thing (a noodle stand for example) and then hits you immediately after with something absurd (like a giant shape-shifting cow monster) by moving back and forth between these concepts, injecting references to pop culture and finally adding its own flavor you get this wild mixup of so many things it generates a very specific feeling. A kind of vibe, something I can’t explain in words so much but it’s like when you smell something and it takes you back in time? UY brings me back to the 80s when I was a kid and things were frantic and weird. So yeah Darth Vader fighting Colonel Sanders while technopop plays? People dig that shit now but it was wild when it was new...Then there are the graphics and overall design aesthetic, this show is very 80s, with just a hint of the 70s mixed in. It’s bold, it looks great and it has really held up. It’s that balance of corny and cool that works so well.

The Time Period: When it was made it had a contemporary setting, that late 70s / early 80s feel (with just a dash of late 60s). Cleared lots waiting for new houses, the mix of architecture. The “typical” family setting turned on its head. That Japan was disappearing by the time I visited in the 90s, but you could still see the echos of that time.

The Music: One thing that grabbed me instantly was the music in the show. At the time I first discovered the anime I was very big into Jazz, specifically Jazz-Fusion. Electric guitar, heavy bassline, synth, brass, vibraphone... all spread across several composers who had different sounds that just seemed to mesh together. Wow, I have the soundtrack here but I really wanted to get the CD re-issue, sometimes I listen to that stuff while I’m working / drawing. It really moves me.

The Voice Acting: The original Japanese voice acting is so good, all the characters have great VAs and each character is played to the hilt. From little nuances like Lum’s accent to characters who scream at each other, you can tell who is who and what their face might look like without even seeing the show. There’s a lot more nuance in the performances than I think a lot of people give them credit for, they were all super talented.

Finally the biggest factor for me is nostalgia. My first exposure to UY was around 1994, me and my friend @gekiganfan used to rent anime videos from the comic store just down the road from his dad’s restaurant - well we picked up this weird ass video and what a trip, I think we ended up renting all the UY videos they had at one point... I was already a Ranma fan, this was like... Ranma on steroids. I have a lot of good memories sitting in that restaurant basement watching videos with my friend... but that’s only half of the nostalgia. To be honest I think when you are a kid you always wonder about what came right before you, you start to pick up on styles and feelings about what things are like and then you grow up and see them evolve. When I was a little kid older girls had long hair and bangs like Lum did, new wave was starting to fade away into Pop rock while disco and country from the 70s clung on for dear life. There’s something about the show that evokes all those memories of that time, the time when this show would have been contemporary, a time that was over a decade past by the time I got into it.

In Conclusion I find it strange that after so many years NOW people are getting into it, blogs like @a-space-opera and @serepuff BLOW MY MIND because they really seem to like the show too (though probably for different reasons than I do) it’s also weird that there’s so much merch floating around. I have cels that I bought years ago (two from my favorite first season episode, one from the first movie, and a couple more random ones) but I up until a couple years ago there was only one or two figures I could get my hot little hands on.

There’s no doubt that Lum is a sex symbol, but for me she a symbol of everything I love about sci-fi, comedy, classic anime and every dear memory I have about getting into something new and weird and really taking to heart the message of the show; which is to live, make mistakes and laugh at yourself once in a while.

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lrcnyc-blog · 7 years ago

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Steal like an Artist part 2

1. Stranger Things is my favorite TV show at this very moment, though it is popular and almost everyone watches it this show resonates too me more than the average person. When I started the first season I was in a tough spot in my life going through a breakup with my high school boyfriend. This show reminded me of everything I truly love visually, narratively and aesthetically in film. Being a film major prior to this show one of my biggest inspirations for heading into my industry is 80′s film and tv especially films like ET, Goonies, Gremlins and Star Wars. Everything about this show is perfect to me and it means so much more than just a show it is a true inspiration in what I want to do in the future.

2. The Red Hot Chili Peppers 2002 album, By The Way, was the first album I truly fell in love with. When this album came out I was obviously a little kid. My parents really showed me how amazing RHCP is, as a child we took a lot of road trips to Montauk, The Outer Banks, and Vermont. Especially going to the Outer Banks I would get nervous traveling so far from home, having an anxiety disorder my nervousness would double than the average child. My parents would always play this album it was the perfect storm because half of the songs were slower and the other half is upbeat, even when I'm nervous sometimes upbeat music makes me feel better. I still listen to this album regularly especially when I am upset this is just the ultimate album that has to be on any playlist of mine.

3. About 3 years about I fell in love with the legend David Bowie about 9 months before he passed away. I decided to give Bowie a try when I got sick of listening to Katy Perry and pitbull almost every day. I decided to get into more classic rock and pop, David Bowie is an amazing combination of both. His life story is something incredible especially during his height of fame in the 1970′s the photos were taken of Bowie and his eccentric style really turned me on to the concept of contemporary art. His music really changed my life, who I am and how I see this today.

4. This is my favorite street Manhatten, just minutes away from Pace in Tribeca. When I was visiting Pace college hunting walking in the area after my tour I found this street, I thought the name Duane was hilarious because there is an online meme I am obsessed with a dancing blonde hair kid name Duane. Even today passing the street either on my way up to Tribeca or to Chinatown I would always have the dumbest grin on my face while screaming “Duane” everytime I pass it.

5. My favorite musical of all time and my favorite movie as a child was Annie. I do not think I would be the person who I am today without it, especially heading into my industry and even being an obsessed theater kid in high school. I think the plot of Annie and the entire script is simple, perfect and easy to comprehend for a young girl. I would watch the movie 1000′s of times and even reenact it in my room. I did not have many friends as a child so Annie made me feel like I actually had something worth living for also lifting my spirits when I needed it the most. This show is my definite safety blanket and my ultimate guilty pleasure.

6. For me, memes are an art form and this is the meme that started it all for me. Most meme trends die out within weeks making it more of a fad. But Hey Scotty Jesus Man is my personal hood classic. I found it in 2012 going into my freshman year in high school I don't know why but I play it over and over again at least once a month. Something about it makes me laugh so much, cheesy 90′s religious films are definitely a hilarious aesthetic. 90′s straight to VHS films are aesthetic, especially how grainy the film’s look, that is a kind of style I am obsessed with. This is a meme that will be played at my wedding and funeral, Hey Scotty Jesus man is my life.

7. Penn Station is important to me because this is my connector from my city life to my home life. This was the start of me visiting NYC at age 16 alone without my parent's supervision, this was a huge step for me especially having stricter parents growing up. My travels would always be to time square since its 10 blocks from Penn but once I started college and got more familiar I went all over Manhatten, but whenever I need to go home or pick someone up from Long Island I would always find myself at Penn Station.

8. This is the Walt Whitman Mall approximately 5 minutes from the house I grew up in on Long Island, this place has so many significant memories for me. I would always be here as a child, then as a middle schooler going on awkward dates or awkward hangouts with friends then in high school going to the mall to actually shop then eventually working at two locations at the mall. This place was the epicenter of my hometown where everything happened. In 2013 the mall reopened with brand new renovations and a stunning statue of Walt Whitman (his birthplace is directly across the street from the mall). My town is famous for a poet being born and to make money off of that, of course, they would build a mall around this area because this is America and America loves capitalism.

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