#even though he's fun around other friends he's quiet and withdrawn with me and dumping on me about another woman

[time-like-tears-in-rain]

god i relate so hard to martha rewatching her episodes is fucking rough.

[linaseraphina13]

A jascalronmara fic? Like maybe a date or smth? Honestly that would be adorable . Or maybe a YOI au?? Idk. Thoughts.

Someone else requested Jasper angst so I tried to combine the two requests and it devolved into some crazy shit so here’s my 1:00 am ramblings.

Somehow Call ends up with his own personal harem by the time silver year rolls around.

“I don’t understand. Why does everyone have a crush on me?,” he asks no one, staring off into the middle distance while Tamara consolingly pats his head. “I am literally so undesirable. I have nothing to offer. I am the Enemy of Death.”

“You’re also very adorable and a fluffy idiot,” Tamara tells him. “Like a puppy. A rabid wolf puppy. Who’s also an emo piece of shit.”

“And you have that whole ‘bad-boy’ vibe going on, too,” Aaron pipes up helpfully, trying to seem casual but clearly over-joyed about getting to discuss his favorite topic: Callum Hunt. “It’s no wonder if you think about it. The gray eyes/black hair/southern accent thing is a deadly combination.”

Call just shakes his head, too bewildered over everything to make sense of anything.

He thought Celia was bad enough, but it was like after the whole kiss thing a floodgate opened up, because people started treating him differently. Casual touches increased with alarming frequency, girls batting their eyelashes at him in the hallways, boys offering to carry things for him even though he’s never spoken to some of them in his entire life. Even Tamara and Aaron started showing signs of liking him.

It was Bronze year when he walked in on his two best friends literally fighting over him with like, balls of fire and chaos magic and all types of dangerous shit, and Master Rufus was so pissed about the whole thing that he locked all three of them in the common room and gave them exactly one hour to work it out or he would never let them out again, ever. Honestly, it only took them five minutes before they were crying and hugging each other and realizing that letting romance get in the way of their friendship was stupid, so they came up with a solution that would be beneficial to all without destroying their relationship with each other.

Long story short, Call’s dating both of them now.

“Y’all act like dark-skinned, dark-haired Southern boys are hard to come by,” he complains. “Like, look at Johnny from the Outsiders.”

“Johnny was hot as fuck,” Tamara stresses, and Aaron nods enthusiastically in agreement.

“Johnny’s dead, Tamara.”

“So? He was still hot.” She leans back in her chair, eyes closed in bliss like she’s imagining she’s in the Outsiders. “A tiny kid, but tough. Had a wild look to him. But also had this sort of adorable naivety that was just so pure. Quiet and withdrawn. A real softboy.” She opens her eyes. “Nothing like you, of course, but you get the idea.”

“Wow. Thanks. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” says Aaron helpfully. “I’m pretty sure half the girls in school only like you because you have a dog.”

“It doesn’t, but thanks.”

Aaron beams.

Just then, Jasper enters the refectory looking miserable as hell and with bags under his eyes so heavy they might as well be designer. Even zombified and sleep-deprived Jasper looks like a damn model, although admittedly his hair kind of looks like he stuck it inside a wind tunnel (Call still can’t believe he makes it look like that on purpose).

Jasper looks up briefly as if sensing eyes on him. Call gives a sheepish wave in his direction. Jasper consequently flips him off.

“Well, he looks like he got hit by a bus,” Tamara says cheerfully, then turns back to her lichen. “Call, can you pass the salt?”

He’s not listening. He’s glancing over at Jasper with a look that’s almost invasive. “Do you think Jasper has a crush on me?”

Aaron and Tamara exchange glances. “Why?”

His fingers drum impatiently on the table. His expression morphs from invasive to borderline constipated and he makes a noise. “I don’t know. I have feelings, I think.”

His S.O’s make identical faces of both surprise and disgust. “Call, no.”

“I can’t help it. I think I’m going crazy.” His hands are shaking like he’s about to have a manic episode. “He’s an asshole, but he’s hot, you don’t understand. I need it.”

“Not only are you totally insane for developing a crush on the one person in this entire school who doesn’t have a crush on you, but you’re also a self-destructive idiot.” Tamara looks like she’s not sure if she should laugh at him or pity him, but she seems to be leaning more toward the ‘you’re a dumbass and I’m going to keep calling you a dumbass until your eyes are opened to your dumbassery ways” territory. “He’s taken, honey.”

Call shifts his gaze to Celia, who’s twirling blond hair around her finger and laughing like the totally pretty and beautiful queen she is. Asshole. “I can take her.”

“You can’t. She’s a blackbelt, remember?”

He sucks in a sharp breath between his teeth. “Shit, you’re right.” Then his knee starts to bounce sporadically when Jasper brushes a few strands of hair out of his eyes. “I don’t care. I’ll still fight her.”

“Even if you do manage to trap him,” Aaron says, calling a direct reference to him describing each and every poor soul that gets sucked into Call’s “charm” as trapped against their will, “Are you sure he’s going to be okay with…us?”

Call’s not exactly sure what the they have going on here, but he wants Jasper in on it too, dammit. “I don’t know,” he whines, frustrated. “I think he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Aaron says at the exact moment Tamara goes, “Oh he definitely hates you.” And Aaron shoots her a warning look that she just shrugs off. “We’re all friends, Call. I’m sure if he really hated you he wouldn’t have helped Tamara break you out of prison that one time, right?”

He has a point. Now Call doesn’t know what to think.

“Try thinking of things you have in common,” Aaron suggests. “What are his hobbies?”

“Besides making my life a living hell and studying?,” Call muses. “I dunno. He likes comic books, I think.”

“Then give him a comic book,” Tamara says. “Bitches love comic books.”

Gwenda, who’s passing by their table, says, “I am a bitch and I can assure you that that statement is correct.”

Jasper says something to Celia and starts to get up and Call begins to sweat. “Hhhh, hurry up, guys, he’s leaving.”

“Take him on a date.”

“A movie date,” Tamara inputs.

“At the gallery?” He scrunches up his nose in disgust. “No way, that’s totally cliche.”

“It’s not like you have a lot of options.” Jasper is leaving the refectory, so Tamara tosses a random bouquet of flowers she conjured up with magic and plants a firm boot into his butt to propel him forward. “Go forth, Romeo. Woo thy Juliet.”

He tails Jasper to his room, slipping into the still-closing door like a freaking ninja and James Bonding his way across the common room floor because he’s a badass, managing to keep the flowers from getting crushed while also looking cool as shit doing it. Unfortunately it seems that the flowers Tamara gave him are the exact kind that Call’s allergic to, so by the time he makes it to Jasper’s door and the taller boy opens it, Call is practically crying from how much his eyes are burning.

“What the fuck do you want.”

Call is squinting and his nose is on fire and he probably looks like he’s been punched in the face a couple of times but Jasper is both beautiful and decidedly Unaffected by his misfortune. “Please…take them,” he begs in a hoarse whisper, shoving the flowers in Jasper’s face.

Jasper takes them and immediately tosses them to the floor. “What. The fuck. Do you want.”

It would be so easy to just say, “Your sweet lovin’”, but he physically restrains himself. Instead, he goes, “You look like shit. Everything okay, snookums?”

Smooth.

“I will literally call the police if you don’t leave right now,” he responds, and tries to close the door in his face, but Call moves his bad foot in the way before he can (ow).

“Wait, just hear me out,” he pleads with him. “This is a life or death situation.”

The asian boy eyes him warily. Call is transfixed by his hair. “I highly doubt that, but you have my permission to continue.”

Sweet. Call clears his throat and tries to casually lean up against the wall, hands in his pockets. “So. I heard you like comic books.”

“…yes?”

“Cool, cool.” He slyly studies his fingernails like he’s seen Jasper do on many occasions when he’s trying to convey that he’s interested but not too interested. “What if I told you that I knew a way to get you as many comic books as you wanted without paying a dime?”

Jasper squints at him. “Are you trying to sell me drugs?”

“Depends. Would you like some? I got all the good shit- laffy taffy, mentos, and if you’re feeling particularly wild i got some rasperry fun dip-”

“Call, I don’t have the patience for your antics today,” he interrupts, rubbing at his temples. He looks really tired. Like, really really tired.

Call is immediately locked into defensive friend mode. “What happened? Who hurt you? Do I have to break some ankles or what?”

“It’s just…” He sighs, leaning against the doorframe. Even bent down a little he’s still a full head taller than Call. Call wants to climb him like a tree. “Celia and I broke up.”

Call gasps in mock horror but on the inside he be popping all the bottles. “That bitch!”

He glares at him. “Don’t call her a bitch. I broke up with her.”

“Oh.” He deflates a little. “Not a bitch then. Why’d you dump her?”

“Why do you care?”

“I may be in the market for another addition to the Callum Hunt Dream Team,” he admits, and at Jasper’s blank stare, he adds, “Not Celia. You. I like you. And stuff. Yeah.”

A slow blink. “Uh.”

Call decides to throw all caution to the wind. He grasps a very startled Jasper by the wrists and looks deeply into his eyes. “Jasper,” he says seriously. “Join my harem.”

“What.”

“Please,” he hisses. His eyes are wild and he knows it. “I’m a dying man, Jasper. Don’t deny a dying man of his final wishes.”

“There is something wrong with you,” Jasper tells him with complete sincerity. “Like, I’m serious. You need mental assistance.”

“I’m not hearing a no.”

“If I say yes will you leave me alone?”

“Probably not,” he admits.

Jasper sighs. “Fair enough.” In one swift movement, he dislodges his wrists and slams the door in his face.

“I won’t give up!,” Call yells through the wood separating him from his lost love. “Mark my words, DeWinter, you will join the harem if my life depends on it!”

“Fuck off!,” Jasper’s voice comes muffled through the door. The fact that he responded at all is a miracle and Call decides that’s a win for him.

idk i’m supposed to be writing a 500 word essay and instead i write 1800 words of this bullshit i dont think im going to sleep tonight