#even tho most of them were y'all yelling at me that's cool its fine I like that shit too

[akitokihojo]

Delicate - Chapter 5

Miroku gripped Sango's arm and shoulder, having to have physically braced her against him when she'd sprung to stop the fight. It looked as if it was ending when Inuyasha walked away, but the moment he turned around, his cheeks a blustering shade, she lurched forward to run interference. Typically, with anyone else, he wouldn't have prevented it, especially when things seemed as out of control as they were. In this case, Miroku knew it was already too late. Sango would only literally end up stuck in the middle.

The two of them watched as they screamed back and forth, Sango's hand flying to hold the tops of Miroku's fingers that gripped along her arm, much like a reflex to seek support while all they could do was stand by and watch. And, then it got quiet. Inuyasha and Kagome stood so close and Sango's stomach twisted with prickles of unnerving anxiety, seeing Inuyasha's mouth move but not able to hear the words he spoke. She saw Kagome's reaction, though. She witnessed the wound form and spread over her like paint irresponsibly dropped on a canvas.

"What - what did he say?" She asked, still staring helplessly.

"I don't know." Miroku breathed.

As Kagome turned and walked away, her pace quickly hastening, Miroku released his hold on Sango. She spared him a brief glance before running to catch up with her friend, and he didn't linger in place, following suit to get to Inuyasha. 

"Finally, something shut her -"

"You've said enough!" Miroku pushed him, sending the half demon stumbling to the side. Inuyasha's mouth hung open, brows furrowed but his expression one of shock. "What the hell's wrong with you!?"

He'd been prepared for Inuyasha to swing or retaliate, but the hanyou’s lips merely sealed and his body straightened. It was like he was damaged. He looked away, and his jaw clenched, the muscles in the sides of his face flexing harshly. His swallow was thick, visible, and his chest rose and fell heavily. He was still on the defense, but Miroku could tell the speed of his thoughts had to be slowing.

"How bad was that?" The question was barely spoken, his tone so dispirited, carrying the weight of his regret. He couldn’t help it. Everything she’d said had been so powerfully sworn, each word like a tick that burrowed deep into his skin. It was impossible to ignore. Even worse was the look on her face as he’d crushed her. So quickly, it had burned into his mind, framed in the forefront, heartbreaking, and the evidence of how despicable he could truly be. He couldn’t not see it. He couldn’t fight through it. It brought his natural guarding to shut down.

"Bad." Miroku stated.

"Did you hear everything?" Still, the words were hardly audible, hushed with shame.

"Everything up until the end."

"I called her a waste of time." He said clearly, leveling his gaze to meet Miroku's. "That outta do it, right?"

There was a falter in Inuyasha, an evident one. Anyone would have picked up on it; no one needed the skill to read people. He felt contrite. He didn't mean that. He probably didn't mean anything he'd said, but he knew the consequences of his mistakes.

"You can apologize." Miroku suggested, the tension in his shoulders dropping. "Take it back. Tell her you said all of it in the heat of the moment and -"

"No."

"- You never meant to hurt her."

"I can't." Inuyasha was resolute, a little panicked, muscles showing jittery agitation. "I fucked up. That's it."

"That doesn't have to be it! If you don't like the turn of events, do something about it!"

"How do I just take something like that back, Miroku!? I threw everything in her face! I made her feel worthless! I know too goddamn well that you can't just say sorry for something that low and expect everything to be fine!" He yelled, irate. He'd turned into the person he shouldn't have. Like all the people that belittled him for being what he was. Like his brother. He tore down a person who cared about him because he was more afraid that she wouldn't, and in preventing his own future pain, he only broke himself sooner.

"Well," Miroku began. "If that's the case, if someone were to apologize to you then how would you like them to do it?"

Inuyasha didn't reply, his head only shaking in disbelief. How could he have let himself do that? Who was he becoming? There were people in life that pre-evaluated their future, that swore they'd never become like the ones who did them harm. Inuyasha never had. He never worried about it. His solution was to dismiss it all, act like it never happened, isolate himself, fight back. This time, he realized, he fended off the wrong person.

He muttered a curse under his breath, feeling so heavy he could have sunken into the earth. Swaying on his heel, Inuyasha veered right, ducking down an alley to head home.

—

Kagome sluggishly rolled out of bed, her head pounding. It had been hard to stop crying, and once she did, it was even harder not to start up again. She was exhausted but couldn't sleep, and the tea her mom had brought up mid breakdown was now bitter and cold. The silence was annoying and only contributing to the pungent thoughts that kept her emotions active. She wanted to stop feeling angry, and sad, and hurt, and defensive, and anxious, or anything else her mood shifted to depending on what way she was going to overthink the scenario that time, and just mute everything for a while. Since sleep wasn't an option at the moment, she decided she'd use the TV as a distraction. 

After grabbing the remote and hitting the power button, she turned off the overhead light, showing an ounce of pity for her throbbing head. It was past midnight, so she kept the volume low, sitting on the foot of her mattress as she flipped it over to Netflix and resumed her show. Two solid taps on her window caught her attention, and Kagome looked over her shoulder, silver hair catching the glimmer of light from the illuminated screen. An unsettling chill sank down into her abdomen, like the feeling of fingers steadily teasing their grip over her organs, and her breath trembled, heat flushing her face.

Inuyasha crouched outside her windowpane, his expression relaxed but his gaze overtly cautious. He had a lot of guts showing up, time hardly a cushion to the blows she'd taken. But, on the other hand, he had to have come for a reason, right? 

No, that didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. Kagome needed to draw the line, she needed to respect herself. As difficult as it was, and it was very difficult for her, she walked over to the window, avoiding his stare while she yanked the curtains shut.

The hanyou sighed defeatedly. He deserved it, he knew, but that didn't make it any easier to handle. He smelled her tears before approaching her window, he knew she had to still be hurting. Of course, she was. There was no way a person would recover from what he'd said in the span of a few hours; he, of all people, understood. He didn't come here on a whim, though; he came here to talk. It took a lot of effort, too much even, to swallow his pride and mentally rehearse what he had to say on his walk over. Kagome deserved an explanation for everything. She deserved insight, answers, his own, personal vulnerability, and above all else, she deserved to know just how fucking sorry he was.

"Kagome," Inuyasha kept his tone softer than usual, though the gruffness was inevitable. "Open the window. Please. If you don't, I'll just go to your front door."

She froze, huffing at the unfair ultimatum. Begrudgingly but swiftly giving in, she pushed the curtains aside, sliding the window open but propping herself before him to block his entrance. "If you're here for round two, now's not really a good time."

Her voice was low but dangerous. Inuyasha kept steady, his expression hardly wavering, amber eyes unable to hold on her and drifting low as he gave a gentle nod to ask if he could come in. There was a moment of tension, the silence only filled with the mumbling from the show she'd put on, her sigh signifying her reluctancy even though she moved and allowed him entry.

Carefully, Inuyasha climbed through, resting his low back against the frame of the window. Kagome stood in front of her bed, fiddling with the sleeves of her shirt as she pulled them to cover her hands. It seemed like a nervous tick; just trying to keep her fingers busy while she stretched and dropped and bunched the cotton over and over. Her eyes were red and puffy, the makeup she'd worn earlier cleaned off, though a thin smudge decorated the lines of her lids. She was dressed down in pajama bottoms, the shirt she wore not long enough to hide her midriff, and her hair was still just as beautiful as before.

Reaching over, he quietly glided the window shut behind him, not wanted the chill of the night to bother her.

“What do you want?” 

He hated how sad she sounded, how lifeless her voice was.

“I didn’t mean it.” Inuyasha finally admitted, hesitation on his tongue. Still, he found it hard to make eye contact with Kagome.

“What part?” She asked, crossing her arms, fingers remaining covered. The inquiry was justified; he’d said a lot. The clarification was necessary at this point.

“Any of it. I didn’t mean anything I said.” He heard her exhale. It was rocky and short, troubled, exactly as he would expect. Then why the fuck would he say it in the first place, right? He pushed himself to meet her eyes pleadingly, calm. “Five minutes. Give me five uninterrupted minutes to explain.”

Kagome could feel his sincerity, the light from her show flickering on his skin as scenes played through. The emotions swirling in her head were conflicting; fifty percent wanting to hear what he had to say and the other fifty wondering if he even deserved the chance. It wasn’t difficult to know which way she’d lean, though. Even for herself. Everyone should have an opportunity to open up about how they felt and why they’d acted the way they did. Especially given how guilty he looked at this point in time. Reaching to the side, Kagome grabbed her remote off the top of her comforter, muting her show and trusting him to keep a level tone so her family wouldn’t be woken up. Tossing the controller back down, she gave Inuyasha her undivided attention.

The half demon nodded in appreciation, breathing out unsteadily as he ducked his head and crossed his arms over his front. He was naturally inclined to stay quiet, the apprehension and tension of the entire predicament overwhelming, but he couldn’t allow himself to shut down, to expect this all to blow over on its own just because he’d presented an apologetic version of his being. He gave himself a mental shove, as hard as it was, urging himself to open up for once in his goddamn life. It was warranted. He had to. Even if, in the end, he wasn’t offered redemption for his mistakes, which was a sour thought and pained him enough to swell his throat, Kagome would still have the knowledge of the exhausted beliefs that made him travel the route of countless burned bridges.

“You know about my parents.” He started, eyes on the carpet beneath his shoes. He ignored every pressing shockwave that conveyed for him to keep to himself, to lockdown all his personal information, opening a door that hadn’t been opened in years. It didn’t matter anymore. Not when he’d seen how he’d made her cry. “How they died. I don’t remember my dad all that much, but my mom’s passing took a huge toll on me. I was very close with her. She was human, and she still managed to protect me as if she had the strength of a demon. From other demons. From internal demons. When she was gone, I didn’t have that shelter anymore. Having someone that’s pushed on you to be considered family, someone who’s supposed to be there for you but then turns around and makes you feel like shit for something you can’t control takes a toll, too. It wasn’t just Sesshomaru, though - my brother. There were plenty of people I’ve met that shun me, talk shit, think I’m unnatural. After experiencing it enough, you learn to expect the worst of everyone. Not gonna lie, Sesshomaru’s voice is what I hear every time. So, instead of waiting for backs to turn, I just turn mine. It stopped bothering me after a while. I wasn’t even numb anymore, it just didn’t matter.” Inuyasha was concerned the thunderous beating of his heart would be detected by Kagome. It was difficult not to show how his breathing increased in pace, the topic one he’d never spoken about to any other living soul. In his mind, he kept repeating the importance of all of this. Over and over, he told himself to keep going, to tell her everything, actively refusing to let himself stop. “No one knows this, Kagome. I figured the more I keep locked up, the less vulnerable I am. Then, you walked in. You’re right. You scared me. I unintentionally gave you too much of my background when I initially intended to give you a bland explanation that night that I was upset. Safety isn’t something I’ve been fortunate enough to experience in a few years, and I think that’s what I began to feel with you. Like before, though, safety can be taken away very quickly, and I - I didn’t want to go through it again. You aren’t the first I’ve dropped like that. You’re the first to fight back, though. You were the first to ever show that it made you sad. I mean, yeah, people would get offended, but then they’d turn around and drop me and pretend it was their idea all along. I expected the same from you,” Finally, finally, he glanced her way. “and it hurt when I didn’t get it.”

Her dark eyes were large, the lighting showing the sadness in the glimmering tears building on her bottom lids. Her lips were pouting, parted slightly, her chin giving a quiver that made him feel unstable, as her brows pressed together in concern. Was she compassionate for his history, or was this the affliction he’d done? Maybe both? He didn’t deserve the former, but given what he’d learned about Kagome over the months, he wouldn’t doubt her empathy.

“I didn’t want to lose you, but it was too late by the time I acknowledged it. Everything about you was a warning to me of the damage you could potentially do. I was too susceptible, so I took myself out of the picture. I’m being honest when I say I didn’t know I was hurting you. It was confusing. I was used to apathy, and you don’t have an apathetic bone in your body. Even now, I don’t know what to do or where to go from here. If you’re done, I get it. I don’t fucking blame you. Tell me to go and I’ll go. But, before you do, let me just say that I don’t think you’re stupid, or self-righteous, or anything else I said. I don’t. I was throwing out whatever came to mind to try and push you away.”

Kagome was quiet, holding her breath as her chest constricted. Beneath the treatment he’d handed her, she completely understood his reasoning. It didn’t make it right, and in her gut she could tell he knew that. That wasn’t his purpose. It gave her perception, though, and that accounted for something. In the silence, she’d noticed his breathing ceased too, and his eyes had fallen back down to the floor. His chest was still, and he was just as nervous as he was when he’d first entered, if not more. It was her turn to speak. And she was so scared of saying the wrong thing. She was fearful of having it used against her like before. In her heart, Kagome wanted to give him another chance. She deeply wanted to trust him like she had, maybe even better now that he’d opened up a part of himself that had never been accessible to anyone before.

“Tell me the truth, Inuyasha. What do you want?” 

He looked over, apprehensively. Cautiously.

How was it he was so fearless in the face of aggressive and violent confrontation, but so terrified of this one girl? She had more strength in her compassion than fists would ever have against him. A tear fell from her eye, gliding over the curve of her cheek, acting as the sledgehammer that slammed down against his cinderblock walls, each teardrop serving as each strike. The half demon swallowed thickly, feeling a profound softness for Kagome strengthen with each uneven inhale of her comforting scent, laced with sadness that he wanted to dissipate. That’s what he wanted. He wanted to fix everything. He wanted to see her smile again, hear her laugh, make her laugh, help her study because he was the one that needed the excuse to see her. He wanted to make sure he kept the bridge between them sturdy and unbreakable. Because of her, for her, he wanted to be better. What he’d done to her, said to her, he’d never do it again. Inuyasha wanted Kagome.

On any level he could attain, Inuyasha wanted Kagome.

Words wouldn’t work for him in that moment. He couldn’t speak. His abdomen was tighter than ever, a lump solidifying in his throat, his jaw clenching as he experienced the debilitating anxiety involved in the realization that he had been falling in love all along. That’s why it crushed him when she cried, he was happy when she expressed joy, he trusted her with the parts of him he’d never talked about before. It hurt when she didn’t react the way he’d grown to expect, because it complicated everything so much more. Because he didn’t like losing her, and the thought that she didn’t want to lose him either made everything so much fucking harder to process. 

Inuyasha was still scared. He couldn’t shake it. His own muscles inadvertently tensed through the emotional stress he was under, the weight of his feelings intensifying. What could he do if he couldn’t speak? He had to tell Kagome he wanted to stay by her side in some other manner. He couldn’t lose the opportunity, or let the silence build and settle in the shadows of her mind; he couldn’t risk any negative thoughts intruding on her any further, or making her feel insecure for opening up the floor to him. He’d put her through enough. And he knew what he wanted.

Slowly, the hanyou reached over to her, his fingers gently grazing the soft sleeve of her shirt, pinching the loose fabric to give the tenderest of tugs his way. He was afraid she’d resist or shrug him off, but she didn’t. Kagome’s face crinkled slightly as she stepped his way, easily following his guidance as she opened herself up to him. There was no way he would permit himself to freeze or hesitate at this point, so he pulled her into his chest where she glided her arms over his front and around his shoulders. She clutched onto him, her face nuzzling into the crook of his neck where her hot breath almost brought him to falter, small hiccups from her silent cries rocking against his torso. Steadily, Inuyasha wrapped her into him, his hands large against the small of her back, one slipping beneath her shirt to lay flat against her hot skin and the other firmly gripping the cotton to keep her there. He felt her ease, and it didn’t take long, following the natural curve of his body as he effortlessly supported her weight. In that moment, to add to it all, he felt the growing and undying hunger to protect her from anything or anyone that could devastate her this way again. He didn’t care what he had to do, who he’d have to fight, or even if it was swallowing his own pride to make sure he never overstepped a boundary. Inuyasha would keep Kagome safe. One step at a time, he planned to make sure she understood he was reliable. 

“I’m sorry.” Inuyasha breathed, holding her tighter. She nodded against him, her body seeming to have calmed considerably. Her arms relaxed, and though he wasn’t ready to let her go, he released his hold, allowing her to back away. Kagome didn’t look at him, not directly, her dull stare landing on his stomach. He was almost desperate for her smile to return. He missed it horribly, feeling it would be the only thing to give him relief from his own turmoil. Like something else had control over him, his hand reached up, barely stroking her jaw with his thumb. “Are we - are we okay?”

“Mhm,” Kagome hummed, leaning into his whisper of a touch.

“You’re not okay.” He whispered, dropping his hand. Things didn’t just disappear with an apology, he got that. As much as he didn’t like it, the bitterness building on the back of his tongue, Inuyasha knew it’d take time to get over their fight and the ruthlessness of his insults. I’m sorry merely served as the bandaid. Actions in show of his regret was the ointment that sealed the wound. All too well, he knew how it went. He wouldn’t push her to pretend she was fine when she was still fighting off tears. No matter how relieved her sighs against his chest seemed, that was just the surface layer of a wound scabbing over. “I’ll go. If you need me, I’m available. I won’t disappear again.”

As he opened the window to climb out, a wild fluttering built in Kagome’s diaphragm, bringing her to bite her bottom lip hard as her nerves prickled and stung. “Can you - um,” She trembled, scared to see how he’d react to her upcoming question. There was no fending it off, though. She had to hear the opposite of what had sunken into her heart, the density of the statement holding her hostage. Inuyasha turned around, ember eyes watching her, observing her. With a mental push, her fingers hidden beneath her sleeves as she bunched and clenched the cloth within her fists, she forced the remainder of the question out, disregarding the fear evident behind her breath. “Can you tell me that I’m not a waste of time? Please?”

Inuyasha thought he’d known the repercussions of that volatile sentiment, but as he watched her crumble all over again, her frown deepening heartbreakingly and tears staining her cheeks once more, it was only then that he realized just how awful the blow was that he’d spoken so unthinkingly. He wished he had less walls to break down. He wished he wasn’t already at his limit, having pushed himself so far passed the boundary that had solidified overtime. He wished the work he knew he’d have to conduct on himself to be what she deserved could be done instantaneously, so that he could bring himself to touch her again, but he couldn’t. Inuyasha’s arms were stuck at his side, muscles tense and difficult to move. God, he wanted to be capable of fucking grabbing her and holding her without so much as having to think it through; like a normal fucking person. Words couldn’t describe the desperation behind the helplessness he felt that he physically couldn’t handle it right now, his fear, his anxiety, his thoughts rushing so fast that his blood coursed through his veins at the same damn cursing speed. Even when he tried, his hands only reached up so far, seeming more like they were braced before him heedfully; like he was worried about breeching her own boundaries. Which he was. He didn’t know what to do. When his actions failed him, how could he be believed? With a heavy sigh, the half demon stepped forward, as close as they’d been before when he’d first spoken those destructive words. He felt broken knowing what he’d done to her, and if the frown on his face was the proof of this feeling, the last thing he would do was hide it. If this was what he could give her at this point in time, he’d happily hand her his remorse on a silver platter. She was crying, her entire body shaking just inches before him, and he hated that he couldn’t physically take that pain away from her. If what she wanted was to hear the contradiction of his earlier statement, though, he could manage that much. He didn’t care if it was hard, he’d give her anything he fucking could right now. 

“You’re not a waste of time, Kagome.” Inuyasha spoke, genuinely, his voice husky. “I lied. I would have never come back if I actually thought that.”

She smiled. Despite it all, she smiled. If he could touch her, he would have cradled her face and wiped away the tears that fell until there were no more to clean, but it felt like there was a bulletproof glass separating them; like Inuyasha was locked away in prison, speaking to Kagome during a moment of visitation, desperately wishing he was free from his mistakes and the confinements that restrained him. Soon. This was his wakeup call. He wanted to be the one that was there for her, that reassured her everything would be okay, that held her, that made her feel so comfortable she could fall asleep on his chest. What more verification would you need of a person trusting you other than them sleeping in your arms? He’d never experienced that before, but he’d be a goddamn liar if he said he hadn’t once dreamt of someone sleeping by his side, or drifting off while watching tv. When he’d woken up from those types of dreams, he felt hollow. He was convinced it’d never happen. He knew now that in order for anything to happen, anything at all, he’d have to rebuild his mindset to be more open. It was no secret by now that he had been sealed shut, but now that the door was pried open, he could see the possibility of warmth entering through. There was always a chance of being hurt, and the scars ran deep, but there were risks that were worth taking. She was worth it. No matter how nauseous he felt right now. 

“Thank you.” She sighed.

“Go to bed.” He said, turning back around and soundlessly crawling out the window. “I’ll see you later.”

Kagome gave a tired nod, sauntering over to the window behind him. Her crying had just about stopped, the remnants of it all wiped away on her sleeves.

He gave a soft grin, his stomach half in shambles. “Goodnight, Kagome.”

She smiled, watching him venture over the small area of roofing before grabbing onto the overhanging branch of a tree. “Night.” She said as he spared her one last glance, sliding the window shut when he climbed down. 

—

As soon as he walked through the school gates, Inuyasha felt a sickening twinge ignite in his entire torso. He’d thought realizations of your own feelings were supposed to lessen the burdens, but all he’d felt since that night was horrible nervousness. Now more than ever. They hadn’t spoken since. She needed space, and he respected it. Even though they’d left on a relatively good note, he felt pressured as he walked through the campus, making his way to his locker. Was she going to be in school? How would she react if he said hello? How would he react if she said hello? Was it allowed? Were they on speaking terms? What about their study dates? Did they still exist or was he supposed to go through the humiliating process of reinstating them? Did she even want them anymore? If things were awkward, how did he proceed from there to properly reconcile? How could he make things normal again? Fuck, he would have stayed home if he knew he was going to end up this much of a basket case.

“What’s up?” Miroku said, approaching from the side and effectively startling the hanyou. His friend flinched at the notable tension that crawled up Inuyasha’s spine, his reaction out of the ordinary. “You good?”

“Yeah.” He grunted in an attempt at recovery. “I was just spacing out.”

“You? Spacing out? Man, that argument really did do a number on you.” Miroku mentioned, leaning against the neighboring locker. “I probably know the answer to this already, but have you talked to her?”

Inuyasha didn’t respond, shutting the small, metal door and shrugging his arm to adjust the strap of his book bag to sit properly over his shoulder. He felt the length of his ponytail wag to the side with his motions as he sluggishly began to lead their way down the hall.

“Thought so. So, what now?” His friend asked. 

In his peripherals, he could see the guy comb his fingers through his hair, shaking his head in a defeated motion. He couldn’t blame Miroku for expecting this from him, but he was a dick for doing so anyway. “What do you mean, what now?”

“I mean, what now? You burned her, you regretted it, and then you just left. I want to know what you plan to do, or if you’re just gonna blow it off like usual.”

“What if I say, nothing?”

“I might call you an asshole. Pretty sure Sango may have some colorful, choice words for you too, so watch out for that. I’ll secretly wish for better for my best friend in the entire world, I’ll be a little salty because you ruined the one chance at happiness you’ll ever have, I’ll watch a RomCom and cry over a box of chocolates in your stead, then we’ll all move on and get over it by next week.”

“Why are you so dramatic?” Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

“Oh man, the amount of questions I could counter that with is endless, my dude.”

There she was. Everything inside Inuyasha jolted to a stop, his legs halting as the breath left his lungs. There was no sense of relief whatsoever in discovering you were falling for someone. If his mild episode of panic at his locker wasn’t evidence enough of that, the sensation that his stomach had dropped into his pelvis, carried itself back up to its original spot, then plummeted again as she smiled to her friend definitely was. He now understood why Miroku was such a goddamn mess in front of Sango. All Inuyasha wanted to do was vomit at the mere thought of Kagome looking over at him; mostly because he had no idea where they stood with one another.

She clutched an old, small book to her chest, one that apparently had been read many times by the stress on the spine, cocking her head to the side as the opposite person thanked her for letting them borrow it. As they walked away, Kagome’s brown eyes flowed right over his way, her smile only wavering minutely before coming back to greet him. Her shoulders noticeably relaxed, her gaze shied downward, and her own ponytail flicked to the side as she turned and followed Sango into her class. She was okay. He didn’t sense any ounce of animosity roiling off of her. Finally, he breathed out his first, full exhale since before their fight.

“Question,” Miroku trepidatiously spoke, interrupting the pleasant thoughts going through his head. “Is Kagome secretly insanely evil? Because, given the circumstances, what the fuck was that smile for? Maybe it’s not Sango you actually need to worry about, because Kagome is going to sit you like a dog.” 

Inuyasha’s features twisted into a grimace, slowly swiveling to fully face Miroku. The deeply concerned expression on his friend’s face was enough to crumble his natural facade. “Joke’s on you, I talked to her already.”

“You what!? How long were you just gonna let me talk shit for?”

“Until you felt like an ass and I could rub it in your face.” The hanyou shrugged, continuing on until they met the doorway of their classroom. “I went over that same night. We talked it out.”

“Just like that? You talked it out?” Miroku pressed, following closely behind. He pursued Inuyasha straight to his seat, knowing he had several minutes until the bell rang, and therefore, plenty of time until he had to drop the subject and head to his desk across the room. If they had to bounce dialogue off of each other as quickly as the Gilmore Girls did just to get his answers, he’d keep the ball rolling smoothly. “Well, that doesn’t sound anything like you.”

“Thanks. Nice talking to you.” Inuyasha remarked, sarcastically.

“No, seriously. In all the time that I’ve known you, you’ve never done anything like this. How’d you - I mean, what’d you tell her?”

“Everything.”

“You gotta give me a little bit more than that, bro.”

“I told her everything. Things you don’t know, things I don’t plan on telling you, and other things you’ve probably figured out on your own but don’t know the history behind. I told her I didn’t mean what I said, I apologized, and she forgave me.”

“Nope. Too bland. Inuyasha, I’m getting a little stir crazy here.”

“I honestly don’t plan on telling you, so let it go.”

“Okay, no, I get it. Fair enough. You’re a private person. Honestly, I’m glad you’ve found someone you’re comfortable opening up to, especially in the face of losing them. Really.”

“Ulterior motive of that comment?” Inuyasha dryly asked.

“You were scared of losing her, right?”

“Miroku.”

“Why won’t you tell me? What’s so wrong with admitting the truth to me, of all people? I’m not asking for your depressing background story, I’m asking for current events here. Were you afraid to lose her?” Miroku asked, his tone a bit firmer than before, though still on the hushed side. Intentionally, he avoided using names. Their classmates were steadily filing in, and he wasn’t in the business of throwing someones personal affairs out into the open.

Inuyasha tensed. Openness. He wanted to be more open. For Kagome. If he practiced with Miroku, maybe it’d be simpler in the long run. The idea didn’t make the notion any easier, though. He felt like all he’d end up doing would be giving Miroku what he wanted, and though he wasn’t a gloater, the possibility was still there and made Inuyasha want to clam up all over again. In order to comply, he had to look away. It was too difficult to discuss private matters with direct eye contact to further enhance his discomfort. Inuyasha’s amber irises went left and right, his head swiveling along with them, giving a simple nod in the mix to say yes. If Miroku caught it, great. If he didn’t there was no way he’d repeat the motion.

“Alright.” Miroku grinned, the hint of positive affirmation on his tone. He’d caught it. “Do you like her?”

Again, Inuyasha indirectly nodded, shifting his head from side to side in a casual manner to hide his confirmation. 

“Do you want this to go somewhere?”

“Define, somewhere.” Inuyasha spoke, unsure of the broad aspect that question provided. It really wasn’t all that broad, but he was embarrassed enough not to know how to properly answer him without specification narrowing the field.

“Passed friendship. More than friends. A relationship of sorts. You know, hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, sweet nothings, nookie.”

“Nookie!?” Inuyasha hissed a little too loud, attracting the unwanted and skeptical attention of a nearby classmate. Miroku played it off, giving the guy an expecting smile that read for him to mind his business before turning back to the hanyou. “No one calls it that anymore, and no, that wasn’t on my mind.”

“Not now, anyway. Boners are natural.” Again, noticing the guy had overheard what he’d said and turned their way with a curious expression, Miroku looked at him, this time leveling the nosy prick with a straight face. When he twisted forward, Miroku turned back to Inuyasha. “But you know what, I like that. If woohoo isn’t the first thing on your mind, that must mean you’re really in deep here. Like, on what level are we talking?”

Inuyasha massaged his temples with his thumbs, blocking his line of sight with the rest of his hands propped on his forehead, begrudgingly bringing himself to answer. “A, uh, romantic level?”

“Yeah, kind of figured that one already. Do you want to take her on a date and see how things go, or do you want to take her on many dates and never let go? Very different; the latter being more expensive.”

“Well, where would you rate your feelings for Sango?” Inuyasha nervously asked, feeling heat begin to pool in his cheeks.

“On a terribly inconvenient, I-want-to-die-because-I-can-never-stop-thinking-about-her-and-I-don’t-think-I’ve-gotten-a-full-night’s-sleep-in-weeks level.” He answered with a distasteful grimace, his expression blanking as he watched Inuyasha slowly nod, the color in his face paling. “O-oh. You feel sick?”

Inuyasha nodded.

“Gonna puke?”

“Might.”

“That’s rough, buddy.” He sympathized, patting the half demon on the back as the bell chimed. “Welcome to my hell. Nice to know you’ve got a heart, though.”

And, it really was hell. Inuyasha, of all people, didn’t know the first thing about what to do with the overwhelming emotions that cluttered his mind, his throat, his chest, his stomach, fuck - every inch of him. He knew he had to take action if he wanted anything to come from this, or so it goes, but the thought of asking Kagome on a date was so nerve-wracking that he’d shut down and talk himself out of it every time the thought occurred. It was difficult enough picking up where they’d left off since he’d pulled his douche move. He practically had to break the ice all over again just to make typical hello’s and goodbye’s feel natural like before. That was his responsibility, and he understood that; the pressure shouldn’t be on Kagome for making conversations flow naturally again. Though, she was perfectly compliant and made it seem so easy. She was obviously better in the socializing department, and her smile worked to soothe his rigidness.

In all honesty, Inuyasha had never been so exhausted in his life. It was the end of the week, and he felt like he’d ran a marathon everyday since Monday. How do people willingly put themselves through this? Clearly, feelings weren’t something a person could control, but he knew of people that actually enjoyed the pursuit of romance, even going so far as to call the endeavor, “exciting.” It wasn’t exciting, and he was insulted that they thought so. It was stressful. So fucking stressful.

Miroku had given some unsolicited advice, and considering his recent luck in the dating department, the hanyou wasn’t very inclined to take any of it to heart. Beyond his measure, some of what his friend had said rooted into his mind. Inuyasha shouldn’t be aiming to go back to the way they were when he had an opportunity to build something better. He has feelings for Kagome. Kagome has feelings for him. Why would he try to go back to a stifled friendship where all he did was pine - resentfully so, since he was attempting to fight off any affection he had for her - and build from there when he now had leverage to progressively work for something better? It made sense. He hated that it made sense, but it made sense. Miroku also suggested the half demon be upfront with his feelings, but he was going to have to pass on that one. He felt, for his own sanity, he had to take things slow. Inuyasha liked the idea of the steady construction of something significant and solid.

If Kagome would ever have him, he wanted to be worthy of her.

But then the whole deserving aspect went out the window when he walked out of the school building to see that stupid ass wolf flirting with Kagome. Again. An undeniable urge to separate them in whatever manner he had to flooded through his veins. Who had the fucking time to wait on personal growth when the persistent fucker was constantly interrupting and getting in his way? Inuyasha gritted his teeth, annoyed as all hell at the relaxed way Koga leaned against a wall, his eyes promiscuously looking over Kagome whenever she wasn’t paying attention. 

“Do it, do it, do it, do it.” Miroku mildly chanted from next to him, egging the half demon forward. 

Inuyasha had barely picked up Sango’s approaching scent, his attention flickering to her just before she stopped at his opposite side. She didn’t pay him much regard at first, observing the scene ahead of them. Then, her stare bounced to him, a slight slant in her eyes. It was almost like she was testing to see if he’d flinch, her gaze boring into him, through him, her lips giving the smallest downward curve in disapproval.

“We have a math test on Tuesday.” She finally spoke, a smirk growing.

Inuyasha readily took the hint, trudging through the courtyard to make his move.

“Wow. I’m surprised.” Miroku cocked a brow. “You condone him going after Kagome?”

“Kagome can hold her own better than I can, believe it or not. Besides, I’m sick of that longing look he’s had going all week. I wanted to see if he’d do something about it if the opportunity presented itself.”

“Sango, my dear, I couldn’t appreciate you more.”

The half demon refused to lose his momentum. The closer he got to the two, the more empowered he felt to do something to work in his favor. Kagome glanced over at him curiously as he neared, and he intentionally kept his eyes glued to her, blowing the wolf off entirely.

“Hey, what’s up?” She coolly greeted. He loved the pink that faintly brushed over her cheeks just by him coming over, painting her shy and him a likable person. God, above all, he loved the advantage he had over stupid ass Koga.

“You busy tomorrow or Sunday?” He asked, rolling with his sudden bout of confidence.

“Um, no. Neither. Why?”

“Study date.” The word date was intentional, mostly to sit sourly in Koga’s stomach. “Heard you’ve got a test coming up.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” Kagome politely assured, feeling a little timid. “I-I don’t want to take up your day. And, I still have your notes from last time.”

Check and mate. 

“You absorb the information better when I’m there with you. Let me help.” Inuyasha grinned crookedly. “I want to.”

“Okay.” She breathed, her smile steadily growing. “When?”

“I’ll text you tonight. We’ll figure it out then.” He responded. As he went to turn away, he spared a look towards Koga, smiling arrogantly as the fucker glared with his light, blue eyes. Inuyasha gave a challenging cock of his brow, sauntering off in Miroku’s direction.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |