#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xiii-e · 4 days ago

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//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too

#//ooc #even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7 #T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast #it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork #all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh #holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are #since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell #they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like #they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview #making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation #it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped #military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money #it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get #the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them #the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me #three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv #okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like #there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs #anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them #helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror

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