#even if you do believe that shes functionally immortal and wouldn't have actually properly died

[autumn-girl-17]

You know this moment right here had me absolutely balling when I watched the movie, but now actually watching this in clips and really seeing it is heartbreaking and I need to talk about it.

The way she had just given in to everything everyone thought she was, and turned into this huge creature. The embodiment of everything people believed her to be and just started marching through the city taking attack after attack like it was nothing. And on my first watch though I thought she'd decided to give in and become the monster they all saw her as.

It wasn't until the quote from earlier in the movie that I realized what was actually happening and I was kinda in shock while desperately praying from the moment Bal caught up with her.

And then he does and oh that moment made me cry so hard, and when she shifts back..

Firstly just her appearance alone says so much. The ash and scratches and bruises COULD be passed of as residue from the attacks, but she's not wearing actual proper materials, she could have come back the way she normally looks. But she didn't, she came back looking like she probably felt.

And the look on Nimona's face when she looks up at Ballister, it's like, she looks completely shattered, and the way she just kinda stumbles forward like shes struggling to even walk, and the way she almost seems to reach out like she's unconsciously reaching for some sort of comfort, even as she's also about to literally collapse in the process.

But in the time it takes her to move even a step Bal's swooped in and taken hold of her shoulders to stop her from falling and HE'S the one who pulls her into the hug, who wraps her up in his arms and just holds her there until she eventually hugs back.

And then they just stay there, completely oblivious to the fact that they're plastered all over the city and everyone is watching as the "Monster" they're all terrified of breaks down like the terrified lonely traumatized Kid she is in the arms of the one person who reached out just in time.

I've seen a lot of movies, and a lot of climaxes, but this was probably one of the most heartbreaking third movie acts that I've ever watched.

Because even after everything Nimona, who's spent most of her life being hated by these people who built an entire belief system on wanting to Kill her, was still willing to save them from the people who claimed to be protecting them.

God this movie just, it absolutely kills me and I'm so glad that Nimona came back in the end because this Kid deserves a chance to be happy.

NIMONA 2023, dir. Nick Bruno & Troy Quane

[tuftastuff]

the inherit body horror of to be hero x - or when your life becomes a prison and the only way to freedom is death

Three episodes that we already got showed us how horrorish the trust system is. People's cognition of you affects not only your abilities, but how you look as well. It controls your *whole body*. You lose autonomy of your whole body. It's not just yours now - it's the body that's controlled by the masses.

FirmMan was not able to sleep properly, kneel, or do such a simple thing as using the toilet. How many things he had to give up on? He's a hero, yet he wouldn't even be able to help a kid that tripped over. To pick up something that he accidently dropped. His whole body was just reduced to standing. How frustrating that must be? How depressing? You can't even dress properly, you just need to be standing, you are reduced to nothing but a symbolic statue.

Moon also lost her freedom. The powers that were supposed to let her be free - she's got teleportation! She should be able to go wherever she desires! - became something that infinitely traps her with Nice. She can't leave not only because of her contract. Her power makes her trapped with him.

And Nice and Ling Lin. Body moving in a way that HAS to be perfect. All the time. Everything around you has to be perfect. Simple slouch is unacceptable. A drop of water that's not symmetrical? Gone. Always stuck in the endless loop of pursuing perfection. But the world isn't perfect! The world is messy and asymmetrical and chaotic, and so are bodies. How many bodily functions did they lose because of that? How frustrating it must be to always have the need to correct everything and you can't just stop it. You can't control it. You have to strive for perfection all the time.

And yet - their minds are still free. Moon doesn't fall in love with Nice, even though fans want them togheter. And, based on the episode two I think it's safe to say that Nice doesn't love her either - he's connected emotionally to Wreck, even though in the public eye they are enemies. FirmMan still had his basic needs and was aware, that he can't meet them. He suffered mentally because of that. It took a toll on him. And Lin Ling - the public believes that he is Nice. But he isn't and he knows he isn't and deep inside he's still Lin Ling. He needs to get it out, it's weighing on him.

They are trapped inside their own bodies. Their powers become their prisons. They can't leave on their own, they can't change it, they are stuck, with no knowledge for how long will it last. How devastating it must be, to not have the control over your own bodily autonomy? They are just puppets, with free minds. That's the true body horror.

And that is also why I think Nice committed suicide. I think it was a conscious, deliberate decision. There is one thing that was not taken from him (and all of the heroes, I'm assuming) and it's death.

You see, death has a symbolic meaning of freedom. Not only in literature, but in real life too many people think of death as the ultimate freedom. You might be dead, but you will be *free*. And that is the price that some are willing to pay.

Nices death was his escape from his prison - his own body. It was the only thing that they haven't yet taken from him. And he didn't even know how long did he have. What if the public started believing that he was immortal? That he was indestructible? He would be stuck eternally in this existential horror. His death was him desperately trying to be free. And he achieved that. His fall was actually awful. It wasn't a pretty death. He fell into the wall and only then on the ground; it was messy, it was traumatizing and it was, in every way, an opposite of perfection. He made his choice and he was finally free.

And, because of that, nor Moon nor FirmMan have to die in order to be free. For them freedom would also only come in the form of death. We see that in episode two, when Moon "dies" and thanks to that achieves her freedom (see, how death is linked to freedom further than only nices suicide). The haunting connection that Nice and Lin Ling have shapes how the future of heroes that interact with Lin Ling looks. Nice dies. But nor Moon nor FirmMan have to die, to achieve their freedom. Their freedom is achieved through Lin Ling. In a way Nices passing/passing his identity broke the cycle. Because while Lin Ling was not in the position to save Nice, he can make sure, and does (consciously or not), that it never happenes again.