#even if Lisa and Drac got busy immediately he's be like 18 at most and thats after sleeping for a year

[arcanemadman]

Netflixvania fans will hate Mariacard because one's 16 and the other's an adult after shipping and continuing to ship Trephacard, which has a teenager shipped with two adults

EDIT: Okay I know this isn't obvious but it needs to be said, Netflix Maria uses the design of 12 year old Maria, but she's actually 16. SOTN Maria is 17, which makes her a year older than Netflix Maria. If there was a 5 year time skip in the show, that would make Maria 21.

[tekka-wekka]

Vlad/Lisa Fic Idea Posted to Show I Still Have Creative Thoughts

So I love all of Netflix's new Castlevania show, especially the first five minutes where toll Dracula falls head over heels for smoll Lisa. Because we only get five minutes with the happy couple and don't even get to see them coo over little Alucard/Adrian, my brain is of course spinning fic ideas.

So I don’t have to invite more OCs than my brain can handle, I’ll borrow some canon from Castlevania: Curse of Darkness. Dracula-Was-Right-Blonde-Doctors-Are-The-Best-Hector, Tight-Pants-Tattoos-Bondage-Jewelry-Isaac Laforeze, and Why-Can’t-My-Brother-Flirt-Normally-With-Men Julia-Laforeze. The two Devil Forgemasters and the witch, respectively, hang out in Castlevania and give Lisa and Drac someone besides themselves to talk to.

This is going to be an AU where Lisa gets to live at least a little longer, so I’ll put it under a cut in case that doesn’t interest some people (but how could it not??).

Dracula makes one request of Lisa--bathe and brush her teeth daily, because he has a sensitive nose. Lisa’s fine with this, but has some questions about this “indoor plumbing” Dracula keeps talking about. Julia takes responsibility for teaching the only other human-ish woman in Castlevania about hygiene technology and is patient enough to listen when Lisa raves about the incredible impact plumbing could have upon human mortality.

Lisa is one hell of a driven student, pushing herself to study for such long hours that even Dracula has to remind her hey, you humans have to sleep sometimes, right? Dracula falls harder for her every time he has to gently wake her and get her to sleep in her appointed room instead of a laboratory desk, which is always. Dracula also smells Lisa bleeding, assumes it’s merely her “monthly courses,” and says nothing because that would be rude.

(He isn’t interested in the blood because hey, menstrual blood is all mixed up with mucus and uterine tissue, it’d be like a human eating a scrambled egg mixed with chicken shit and feathers)

About a week after Lisa comes to the castle, she asks Julia for help. Lisa has some wounds on her back she’s attempted to treat, but they’re in too awkward a position for Lisa to clean out and bandage properly. Julia gets one look at Lisa’s back and immediately calls for Dracula, because this is far, far above her skill level.

Dracula arrives full of curiosity that turns into rage when he sees Lisa has several infected whip marks on her back. Apparently the clergy in Lupu didn’t like a woman claiming proper wound care was as important as prayer when it came to healing injuries, and she was lashed as punishment.

It’s an ugly business, but Dracula takes care of the wounds as best he’s able. The treatment hurts like hell, and he’s impressed with Lisa’s ability to joke even while he’s applying antiseptic to open wounds. “I must be as blind to the truth of God as the priest claimed, since I’m lying down topless and allowing some sinister man with secret knowledge to touch me.”

Dracula grows super protective as he helps disinfect and heal Lisa’s wounds. By the time her wounds have healed into some gnarly scars, he’s spending most of his waking hours researching human biology with his “patient” and generally being amazed and delighted at how goddamn quick she learns. They rave about the possibilities of medical science together, argue over the effectiveness of teaching peasants how to heal injuries with proven remedies, and debate whether Dracula and his servants are demons from hell.

(Dracula and Isaac are convinced they are. Lisa, Hector, and Julia think otherwise)

Dracula reveals his past to Lisa--once he was Mathias Cronqvist, Crusader. His wife Elisabetha died of an illness while he was fulfilling “God’s” will by besieging the holy land. His twisted desire to avenge himself on “God” by becoming a vampire ended in the death of Sara Trantoul, an innocent woman and the fiance of Leon Belmont, Mathias’s dearest friend. Dracula is now pretty damn skeptical of the existence of God but is damn sure that the Church uses faith to enslave humanity and keep them weak, sick, and poor while the clergy grow in wealth and power by the day.

Even Lisa has to agree he has a point with that, but never stops believing that skepticism towards the Church or not, that’s no reason to hate all of humanity and turn a blind eye to their suffering, especially if someone has knowledge the improve humanity and the power to escape the Church’s efforts to squash said knowledge.

Dracula has to concede she has a point there.

One winter evening, Dracula and Lisa are taking tea and talking on one of Castlevania’s innumerable balconies when snow starts to fall. Dracula has a spark of inspiration and brings out one of the laboratory’s portable microscopes so Lisa can see the hidden symmetry of the snowflakes. Lisa is delighted.

“What incredible beauty, simply awaiting the right tools to reveal itself to the human eye! Think of what wonders are simply waiting for humans to find a way to see them.”

Dracula watches Lisa catch snowflakes and rush them to the microscope and realizes he has to have her around forever, or at least for as long as she’ll tolerate him. He proposes marriage to her right then and there.

(Look Alucard is AT LEAST 18 by the time Trevor and Sypha find him, and Lisa was murdered only 20 years after meeting Dracula. It’s canon Dracula jumped to put a ring on it).

Lisa accepts and gets the shock of her life when she realizes Dracula is serious about giving her a ring, a dress, a ceremony--the works. If he’s gonna marry her he’s gonna marry her.

Dracula designs at least three different wedding dresses, because Lisa deserves the best but he’s not sure what the best is. We’re talking lace and pearls and swan feathers, people. Lisa just sits back and lets him enjoy himself.

And the Ring! The soon-to-be Lady of the Castle must have a RING, one fitting her station. After several long talks with Lisa and poring over several arcane tomes, Dracula and Hector forge a ring out of silver, moonstone, rubies, and Dracula’s own blood. Not only will it protect Lisa from the nasties roaming Wallachia, she’ll have some power over Castlevania itself--enough for the castle to recognize her as someone it must protect.

The ring also fits her perfectly and will never tarnish, but those are side considerations.

The wedding is the supernatural event of the millennium. Werewolves howl in homage as succubi escort the bride to her groom, Lisa outshines the full moon with happiness as Dracula lifts her veil, and Castlevania itself shakes with cheers as Lisa and Dracula exchange rings. 

The wedding night is awkward, at first. Lisa’s never had sex and Dracula hasn’t had sex in a while. They take several treatises and manuals to bed and study them before and during the act. It’s awkward. There’s laughter. There’s also a lot of satisfaction.

Lisa convinces Dracula to “travel as a man” for the first time after their week-long honeymoon. (Lisa enjoys being a married woman but not even vampire lovin’ can keep her away from the books for more than a week). Dracula lasts all of a week away from Lisa before paranoia (and horniness) drives him back to Castlevania and the marriage bed.

With Lisa and Dracula always being so happy to see each other, it’s not long before Lisa notices hey, my period’s late and the smell of food cooking in the morning makes me want to blllLLAAARGH oh thank god I turned away from the books in time. 

Dracula worries over Lisa’s sudden illness until she tells him she’s likely pregnant. Then he’s PANICKED.

After Lisa calms him down and convinces that yes, I know women die from pregnancies, yes I want to keep our baby anyway, yes I acknowledge our baby may not be human but I still want to TRY and keep it, Dracula becomes the most involved father Wallachia has ever seen. 

He visits every single midwife in Translyvania and nearly gives several heart attacks. The finest craftsmen in all of Eastern Europe find themselves inundated with orders for beautiful gowns that fit loosely around the middle, jewel-encrusted cradles, rattles and bottles and booties fit for an imperial princeling.

Like with their wedding, Lisa sits back and lets Dracula enjoy himself. It gets him out of her hair. She’s got enough to deal with, now that blood smells oddly tasty. Carrying a vampire’s baby has some weird side effects.

Trevor Belmont’s father hears rumors that Dracula is forcing some poor peasant woman to carry his demonic seed. The Belmont clan has been enjoying not having to storm Castlevania, but Trevor’s father gears up to see if Lisa needs rescuing. There’s nearly a fight when Trevor’s father finds Lisa and Dracula sees a warrior with a whip near his beloved wife (Dracula always and reverently kisses Lisa’s scars when they are in bed together). Fortunately, Trevor’s father is amendable to reason and willing to let Lisa stay with Dracula. The Belmonts have enough to deal with when it comes to cyclopes and werewolves and lesser demons, why the hell stir up Dracula when he’s living quietly with his wife?

When Adrian is born, Dracula is banished from the room. No one’s concerned about him smelling blood and trying to eat Lisa; they’re concerned about him smelling blood and becoming the first vampire to die of a stroke.

Adrian is perfect and nothing anyone could ever say would convince Dracula and Lisa otherwise. Lisa wants more. Dracula’s not sure he could survive the fear and joy of seeing her with more of their children.

When Adrian grows up and brings home his lover Trevor Belmont and his lover’s lover Sypha Belnades, Dracula’s not sure he’ll survive that, either.