#especially when things aren't being done like they're supposed to and that's to the detriment of myself or my loved ones

[chqnified]

Feeling so stressed and tired

My health isn't good and I'm not being seen by doctors because apparently nothing is wrong with me. I hate that face they give, the look as if you're a piece of shit, the smug face of 'that's a you problem'.... I thought these people were doctors there to help people?

My mental health is crap, college is beating it to a pulp, whether it's the purpose fucking up of grading my papers to make me look shit, or just the trauma of having to see the stuff I see on a daily basis. Stuff nobody should have to see.

My partner is ill and is having hospital check ups, being told it's all in their mind when they're up crying in the middle of the night their in so much agony.

Everything is just stacking up, I'm still being treated like a piece of shit by people of the general public at work. I'm so glad I'm changing jobs soon, away from the public.

Everything is so stressful, I'm balancing more than I should have to. It's giving my a headache, it's making me physically feel sick.

[chicken-huggit]

As an educator and someone who has and still does work in public schools, I'd like to weigh in!

Do what you feel is best for your child!

There's a lot of ups and downs to different types of schooling, and homeschooling can be effective if done right! A lot of folks see examples of when it is not done effectively and base their opinions off of that.

Taking the religious aspect out of the equation because although I see a lot of folks mentioning it in the post (I have hella religious trauma so I'm staying way far away from that) a lot of grievances people have with public schools can fall into roughly two categories.

1: Child socialization starts at home. Especially at younger ages, children often repeat what they see and hear at home. If a child's parents give signals whether intentionally or not, that they do not value education or respect teachers as professionals (salty reminder: we teachers need at least 4 years of formal education, maybe more, take testing to get our certification, and are expected to continue our professional development in order to keep our licenses) then their children will continue those attitudes at school. Your child's classmate might be a hellion, but teachers can only do so much if our administrators and the hellion's parents/guardians aren't on our side. Which brings me to point 2.

2: Administrative bullshit. Short and sweet, people in administrative positions (think school principals) are incentivized by district higher ups to minimize disciplinary measures at their schools (think suspensions, expulsions, hell even detentions). Principals' school disciplinary measures and how often they're utilized are heavily scrutinized by people at the district level and can reflect poorly on the principals and put their jobs at risk. In addition, lots of districts are being sold what I call "snake oil behavior plans". A lot of supposed research in regards to student behavior is based in pseudoscience and outdated research techniques (fun fact: learning styles is pseudoscience!). Districts are sold behavior plans like PBIS and educational research that is actually detrimental to students. For homework, look up Lucy Calkins and Sold a Story if you're the podcasting type!

As someone who is neurodivergent, attended both private and public school, and who currently works in public school, if there's one thing you take away from my nonsense, I hope that it's this: Weigh your options and do what you feel is best for your child. They are ultimately in your care at this time. If you choose to homeschool, make sure you do your own homework and teach them a proper curriculum. School is not the be all, end all of a child's socialization, but remember that you are your child's first and most important teacher. You teach them how to treat other people. Be mindful of how you act towards and speak about others. Kids are more perceptive than most adults give them credit for.

I'm more than happy to answer any questions about teaching in public schools if anyone's curious as well!

I see so many people saying that they're gonna be homeschooling their children and I just wonder why? You can let your children go to school and still give them good values, and correct their learning at home so why not let them go socialize with other children their age, I think learning different opinions is very valuable

[stardustedknuckles]

Man I'm realizing how much of a detriment my fear of being wrong is. Like I wouldn't have considered myself someone who experienced much shame growing up (outside of environmental judgements growing up in nowhere, Georgia) but something's done a huge number on me that I'm only beginning to untangle as I look at campaign 3 and my thoughts on the characters.

I could spend days going on about FCG and the existential questions they bring, wax about what kind of person would want to be around them and why (Ashton). I could dive into laudna, Imogen, Fearne - the only thing stopping me is "I'm probably wrong." I guess I've just learned to avoid looking stupid at all costs but like. I don't think anyone else is stupid when they make their guesses or go with a characteristic that later doesn't pan out in canon. I think it's cool that people can run with characters on so little.

And I'm realizing I can do that too, but I've got it so ingrained in my head that I'm not allowed to be wrong that my thoughts aren't even finishing themselves. They're self censoring before they get out the gate. "I don't have enough information to speculate about that" so??? It's not stopping anyone else. Why force myself to wait til episode 90 again if I have ideas now? Even if they turn out to not be what the cast is going for, it's...

Ah. It's vulnerability lol. It's easy to be vulnerable as it pertains to Beau because the way I match her lines up really well with canon. There's nothing to be wrong about, nothing to be disproven anymore. I don't mind projecting on her really hard because I'm confident I grasp the core of her. It's harder to spring into existentialism and project on FCG not knowing Sam's intent for them. I'll feel really exposed if I go all in and completely miss where his story goes (especially if other people guessed it correctly). I used to get called a know it all for this kind of behavior, not speaking up unless I was certain of the answer, but honestly I think enough years of every possible mistake being magnified so other people could feel better ("I got it right and the one who's supposed to be smart didn't!") has left me with residual behaviors picked up from when being smart was my safety. If I wasn't smart I was nothing.

Well I've been a dumbass for several years now outside of academia and it's way more fun, so I guess it's just a matter of undoing some old habits from when everything important to me was under constant scrutiny. This year in the b/y fandom has helped me face a lot of fears and discover/throw off a lot of shame, but there are always more layers.

Anyway I'll have to really sit down and work with myself on the possibilities I keep glimpsing but tossing out for lack of information. There's no stakes here. I can speculate. It won't hurt anything.