#especially when they are single men
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Men over 40 please stop trying to be my friend.
#it’s this sort of situation where I see these people on ocassion irl and I will talk to them - I’m fine talking to them - then they’ve#started messaging - and like I’m fine messaging them once or twice a week - but I don’t want anything to go further#it’s like one of them is now messaging me 5+ times a day and the other is kinda asking me out for a coffee and I do not want to do that#they’re both perfectly nice people - and are sort of friends with my sister and her bf - but I also don’t want them to be anything other#than sort of acuaintances - I’m like 24 so I’m really wary of being friends with people who are quite a bit older than me when they aren’t#properly work colleagues#especially when they are single men#like please do not take advantage of my niceness I do not want you to do that
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ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.
#'all those tiktok girls who only like marvel films and' - why do you always say girls and women? are the guys filling opera halls instead?#'women in their mid 20s who still only read YA novels' okay sure that's an example and relevant discussions can be had#but it reminds me of the mocking tone in which people speak of 'chick-lit' to use women's interest as an indicator of lower value#while in fact women are reading more than men in EVERY single genre of fiction. Women are doing a lot of (often unpaid) labour#supporting libaries supporting theatres supporting cultural events#meanwhile there is a pretty big overlap between toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism#(especially misogyny and homophobia)#especially when it comes to things like ballet or opera or musical or generally dance#in fact it is often the female investment in specific things that makes them less 'valuable' in general consciousness#for thousands of years the theatre was well-respected and a high form of art - and now it's a 'wife-thing'#the father who will teach his son that theatre and dance are for girls - how is that never an example for anti-intellectualism
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If someone else comes to me complaining that Vander and Silco are brothers and CANNOT be shipped, I might snap.
#HELP SOME PEOPLE ARE DOING IT WITH JAYVIK TOO NOOO#they called each other brothers? so what. So did Erik and Charles and boy don't get my started on cherik 'cause they even ended up as canon#it doesn't help that some people think they were ACTUAL brothers#but come on since when has it been so hard giving people space to like whatever they like (as long as it's not harmful)?#it doesn't mean we are forsaking the values of simple close friendship#it just means we fancy seeing those two old men happy together only in a different kind of relationship which does not negate your opinion#shipping vander and silco doesn't mean we see every male friendship as gay#why have we forgotten that different interpretations of a single piece of art can exist especially postmodern ones#we can coexist guys there's no need for arguments#zaundads#vanco#vander x silco#silco x vander#arcane
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Men, it's fucking normal to have stretch marks and even cellulite. It's normal to not have a flat stomach, to have body acne (especially because of hormones/puberty), to have unbalanced hair distribution along all parts of your body. It's normal to have deep hair lines, to have thin hair, for hair to regrow odd.
Very, very few of us will live in this world unscathed. You owe nobody the conformity of man. So many problems that are seen as "womens-only" occur in men, too, because it is a part of the human condition to have weird bodies.
#positivity#body positivity#body neutrality#it's especially weird when people think things like stretch marks can ONLY occur in women* like.#men* you are NAUGHT allowed to have skin (sarcasm)#this isn't even about positivity for trans men* and trans male* bodies either because this is just... a human thing#it occurs in trans men* and cis men* and people who are across every single country#male/female and man/woman aren't like... seperate species of animal
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And you know what? Fuck Axel. I’m sorry his sensei is abusive, but his behavior towards Sam was disgusting. She’s nice to him and he tries to kiss her and fine, he got the wrong idea and it happens. He backed off and left and didn’t force it. But then he proceeded to antagonize Miguel at every turn out of some fucked up sense of ownership he felt over Sam. And why? Because she had a single conversation with him? Was nice to him? I get he’s probably pretty fucked up but that doesn’t excuse his behavior, and I find it really hard to feel any sympathy for him when this kind of predatory creepy shit is something that women have to deal with all the fucking time and is not cute or funny or sympathetic, it’s just fucking scary. And maybe if this wasn’t the season where a literal sexual assault occurred and was brushed off as cheating and a “mistake” and maybe if this wasn’t airing right after a literal rapist has been elected in then I’d be able to shut off my brain and not give a fuck and call it innocent jealousy and move on but. Here we are.
#whatever sorry if this season triggered every single latent trauma but like man i am so tired of men just not realizing the gravity of what#they’ve written. when he ‘redeemed’ himself to go protect sam and fight kwon ir whatever i was like….thats actually worse imo#we are bot fucking objects to be owned and pssed between men and we are bot helpless damsels in distress#i know im being unfair and especially ungenerous towards this writing but idgaf im so fucking tired of it#personal#ck spoilers#cobra kai spoilers
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The Same by Medical Pilot is such a good ship song and it can be applied to all the best X-Men ships
#it's especially a good Cherik song#“you and i are the same”#“without you my lungs wont fill ill grow frail and become ill”#“i dreamed that i was brave enough to tell you how i feel someday”#“when you laugh i come undone”#“im terrified youre the one”#idk the vibes my guy the vibes#it's also a good poolverine song too#poolverine#cherik#scogan#havshee#halex#mcsummers#havwin#literally cant think of a single other x-men ship#anyway this has all been a ploy to get more people to listen to Medical Pilot /j#they're so good and deserve more fans
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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so tired of seeing ppl (non rp fandom) complaining about the doctor crying whenever he’s in an emotionally traumatizing situation.
#out.#one ncuti is amazing at it & its natural & not that dumb masculin one single tear so why wouldn’t we encourage talent#two enough of this toxic masculinity of not allowing men to feel their emotions and cry during situations that are emotionally traumatizing#three its very telling to me that the ppl are complaining about a black man crying its very similar to how trek & xpants fandom respond to#michael & naomi for having emotions#its also annoying bcs fandom didnt like how little jodie’s doctor displayed emotion but now arent happy bcs ncuti’s doctor is displaying#emotion which is it you want ? emotionally repressed or not#not to mention if we look at how 13 avoided any negative emotions & if we are going by canon that 15 is the healthier doctor aha#do ppl not realize what happens after you repress your feelings for so long & what happens when you are moving towards healing & facing#those emotions ?#to me it makes sense narratively for the doctor to be dealing with his emotions at a hightened state considering how much 13/14 couldnt#deal with their trauma & emotions#aside from the fact this doctor is still traumatized / not dealing with his emotions lol but thats not really relevant here#negative /#especially when the majority of the time we do see him cry hes either in an emotionally traumatizing situation like stepping on a LANDMINE#or maybe the various times he thought he had lost ruby & she was DEAD#or how about the time the space racists didnt want to be saved by him because they were racist
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is that‚ at least as far as i see it‚ they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.
she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.
the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.
so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.
and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.
it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.
just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.
#and sometimes i feel like she just believes whatever will allow her to hate and feel innately superior to the most people#the fact that this woman considers herself a leftist#... well. given what this country just voted for it looks unfortunately likely that she IS in fact a fairly average example of a leftist#and therefore i have zero remaining hope for or particular desire to save humanity#actually it kind of feels like the only reason she really aligns herself with “the left” is because she's a female supremacist#and the left is the closest thing to a movement in that direction compared to the only current alternate party's “lets undo women's rights”#and also she inexplicably hates trump despite constantly devils-advocating for him and how he “has some good ideas”#and yes she does specifically mean about immigrants and the wall. one of her staunchest positions is pro-closed borders#honesty if trump was a woman and not a misogynist sex pest i think she would like him a lot. even despite his blatant ignorance of economic#she's also a big “anti-wokeist” type and we can barely watch any movies anymore without her whining about there being black people in them#and then she's like “PEOPLE ONLY DON'T WANT TO WATCH MOVIES WITH ME BECAUSE MY THEORIES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND THEY'RE JEALOUS OF HOW SMART”#she's nominally anti-corporation but in practice tends to come down on their side and is also staunchly against student loan forgiveness#because she thinks that “anyone who's stupid enough to do that deserves it”#and “it would be a slap in the face to ME and everyone else that had to pay”#and “kids these days don't want to develop healthy financial habits so they can SAVE for things. i SAVED for it and i know how HARD it is”#the way she often talks i also increasingly feel like the only actual reason she hates christianity is because she's a female supremacist#especially since she regularly goes on about biblical things as if they're real and complains that god either must be a woman#because “only women can create”#or that god CLEARLY is a man because he's destructive and evil and Destruction is a Man Thing That All Men And Only Men Innately Do#and likes to talk about how “jesus said he would come back as the least of us so he would be a woman”#and then goes on to describe a woman that sounds suspiciously like her. or at least her perception of herself#she's also said that if she wasn't straight she would be a political lesbian by choice because she hates men so much#and has tried repeatedly to bitch at me about men in an “eyyy amirite sister” kind of way#and got mad when i didn't fancy the idea of sitting there joking with her about half the species being barely-sentient cancer nodes#but she ALSO identifies as sapiosexual despite having the most vanilla housewife smut book taste ever#but ALSO she considers every single other sexuality aside from straight and gay to be made up woke mental illness nonsense!#so according to her the only orientations are “normal”. gay. and sapiosexual. and SOMETIMES bi (but no pan or poly).#i'm fairly sure she's convinced asexuality isn't real and is just repression. she certainly acts like i never said anything every time.#unless she's explosively yelling at me for “always bringing it up” when i tell her to stop making jokes about me being attracted to things#and she thinks anything other than monogamy is “selfish” and “exists only for men to abuse women”. especially muslim and arab men.
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Why the uglier the boyfriends the bigger the ego of the girlfriends like honey I would not be proud of having pulled That 💀
#one of the besties got a really ugly bf twice her age and internally i'm like noooooo#apparently he treats her well but i'm waiting for the tea to be spilled bit by bit and tell her i told her so lmao#but other than that i mean when i see random girls outside with the ugliest rat creatures i've ever seen and they feel the need to#publicly 'claim' them and make out with them and stare down other women i just think i am not jealous at all babes please keep him 😭😭😭#I KNOW looks aren't everything and i hate people who think that way and I KNOW i'm not conventionally attractive either#but a lot of people who made me feel like less of a person because i'm fat were men so i'll take any chance to roast men back#especially since so many of them insist on having a hot partner when they're the polar opposite and look like someone i'd only divorce#call me picky or some shit idc i really just wanna be left alone and pretty much enjoy being single most of the time#mel talks
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about to leave a scathing review for a historical fiction book on goodreads (felt so strongly about it i made an account for the first time) then chickening out once i realised i'd put down my full name and i dont want to offend the author TOO much in case we end up working in the same field as historians
#missives#i admire her a lot too which sucks but holy shit. this book is bad its SO bad#maybe i'll post my review here just to get it out of my system#in essence its a book about a real historical figure but shes written in this way where literally all she ever does is serve men#and have babies continuously#and we're meant to believe she's fallen in love with her dropkick of a husband who does fuck all and is constantly abroad#and like. of course i can believe that's how some women were especially given their religious inclinations#but i could feel the feminism leaving my body the longer i read the book like it is that bad i felt like i was being brainwashed#it starts good like it goes into her childhood and relationship with her siblings#but then she just turns into her husband's mother essentially and its so revolting. and it doesnt even feel authentic? like#none of these people feel like real people. they dont fight they dont have nasty thoughts they are so fucking sanitised#i dont know what i expected.jpeg#and this woman is a historian!! she has a phd!!#yet she gets basic things wrong to an immersion-breaking degree#the whole thing is set during the civil wars but she NEVER talks about there being surgeons i have not seen a single mention of a surgeon#shes always referring to doctors and physicians but it's becoming apparent to me that when she says physician#shes just using it as an old timey word for doctor not because she properly understands the 17th century medical hierarchy#fucking hell. im so mad
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Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)
#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum#but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right#that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right#this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric#because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men#it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe#choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are#Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions#is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT.#'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!'#because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with.#and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here.#(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the#general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me#to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''')#it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know#how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles#In the Vents#biphobia#like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more#attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it.#I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao
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uhm wonder what the difference between all the couples on the show vs buck and tommy is mhm
#they never had a single sit down type of interview ever#and for an episode that is very much NOT about them two is a choice.#bathena madney and henren never got interviews like that MHMMM#it’s legit so. ruined my while mood and my night i was about to go to sleep happy but now im just :) ye….#the racism the misogyny the lesbianphobia where suddenly when its about lesbians no one cares but its its MEN especially White Men then!#911#911 on abc
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ngl telling me you like me but not being obsessed with me is a major character flaw :/
#I don’t care if I’m too grown for this lmao#i cannot maintain interest in nonchalant people to save my life#especially when men don’t slap like that to begin with lol#but I’m also the same person who gets the ick when someone is up under me so take what I say with a pinch of salt lol#basically I’m just gonna be single forever
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There's not enough love or rep of trans men who are feminine, trans men with bigger breasts, trans men that are fat, trans men that have PCOS, trans men that have skin conditions, trans men that have longer hair, trans men that wear dresses, trans men that are also nonbinary, trans men who aren't white, etc... So this one is for all the trans men out there that are under appreciated and under represented. I'm kissing you on the forehead and I'm also your mom/dad/parent now.
#Trans#Trans men#Nonbinary#Queer#As a nonbinary trans masc/trans man#Especially one who is fatter and has breasts#It actually lowers my self esteem when I cannot find a single thing of rep for us#I only find people saying awful things about us 😞
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