#esp considering due to Gender Is Hard i already knew microlabels and mogai things that i id'd with but it was like

[8lah8lah]

i think like.. if i knew about arospec-ness in the first place it wouldve saved me years of confusion and blaming myself and relationship issues and so forth.  you can argue that it doesn’t really Need distinguishing cause i still experience some romance, but i spent nearly half my life wondering when i’d grow into romantic feelings, thinking i just didnt know enough other lesbians or ppl my age, thinking i just wasnt Trying Hard Enough, thinking i was just cold and apathetic and unloving, thinking i was just a few crushes short of being a Person. you can argue that i’m holding myself back and limiting myself by being arospec, but i haven’t felt this whole in my identity in a long ass time, like i make Sense now, like i’m not just losing it, i feel like Me, now i know there’s a REASON it’s so hard for me to like anyone and it even helps me when i DO date people so i know what i want instead of just thinking i’m lazy or mean. did it hurt me to not know im arospec for so long? not THAT much, technically, cause it’s not like i was being romantic anyway, but i really, really, deeply wish i knew. i wish i had the CHANCE to know sooner. i wish i was told hey, you can be arospec! heres some identities that might fit you! and if they do nothings wrong with you!! and i wish that when i knew they Existed that i wasnt being told that iding as aspec would be Giving In. i wish i wasnt being told that i would be taking away from myself and my life and my future if i was arospec. i wish i wasnt told my identity was a joke or something i’d get over or bad coping or just that it was Bad. that it was a last choice. and i dont want this to happen to anyone else. tell arospec ppl discovering themselves that their feelings are normal, are okay, that they arent bad or doing something wrong or incomplete for it. tell arospec ppl that they arent alone. give arospec people resources past the vaguest ‘uhhh yea theres this one identity like asexual but not’. just.... let arospec ppl exist and KNOW we exist and that we’re arospec, and that’s good, and we’re good. we deserve to know who we are and what we’re feeling, to have resources, to have other arospec friends, to be loud and open and unapologetic about our arospecness, and not just an afterthought or something not worth mentioning or quiet. we’re arospec. and that’s good. help us know that.