#esp cause I could've gotten a whole meal for free!
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#volunteered at pride again (tho for the first time since I've lived here) and it was alright#i still don't like parties or crowds and I'm socially awkward so i always feel kinda weird about going out & doing things#but I'm glad i showed up#the protesters weren't near my section this time either so that was kinda nice#i saw a guy with a guitar and a whistle was there trying to drown them out#but yeah! helped with setup stuff and giving directions and walked around a lot so I'm putting in my habit tracker that i exercised today#and i got to leave when everybody was showing up for the parade!!#technically i got a free meal for volunteering#and i wanted to get things from some of the vendors#but anxiety is anxietous so I didn't do any of that#i think one place was even giving out flags for free but broooooo I'm just so scared and awkward all the time i know it doesn't matter#but I've never learned how to be in the world the most i can do is show up to do a job and just dip once it's done#... anyways I'm not living my dream life but I'm making progress towards not being ruled by anxiety so i guess that's good#still can't help but think I should've just bitten the bullet and done every single thing I wanted to!!#esp cause I could've gotten a whole meal for free!#but it's okaaaaay.. I know I've got Struggles(tm)#..still wish I got an ace flag from that one booth that was giving them out (SCREAMS)#personal
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