#escaping through the top ergo it could come in so I was like half breathing half holding my breath which my lungs weren't happy about

[jesusonafrickinboat]

my mom just tested positive for covid *internal anxious screaming*

the good news is that she's been wearing a KN95 mask ever since her partner tested positive on thursday (and he's been staying at his kid's house since ours is too small to really quarantine in), washing her hands + wiping down stuff she touches, and keeping away from us as much as possible. we've also had the air purifiers running full blast this whole time + keeping windows open as much as possible

the last time I took a test was friday and it was negative. I'll test again tomorrow/tuesday (unless I'm feeling too anxious, in which case I'll test again today & tuesday)

[quietmyfearswith]

where our demons hide ; soft!dark!bucky barnes

status — ongoing series

warnings — SMUT, dubcon smut unprotected penetrative sex,, sex involving food, soft!dark!bucky barnes 

word count — 2011 words

a/n — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT,, happy birthday bucky!! a little something i put together in honor for bucky’s birthday! ❤️

masterlist

part one — tony stark

part two — sam wilson

part three — steve rogers

“Now add in a half cup of sour cream,” Y/N muttered to herself then turned the stand mixer on high until there were no more lumps on her mixture. Once she saw the baking mix was now well-combined, she shut the mixer off then poured the batter into the round cake pan which had the bottom and sides coated with crumbs of graham crackers.

“Just in time,” She noted when her timer went off to signal that her dough was now ready to be rolled after resting for half an hour. After sliding the batter-filled pan, she then drank some water as her body was slowly starting to feel the exhaustion of baking for the whole day.

The radio station that she was tuning in to was playing a calming song — by an upcoming indie artist — made her sway her hips along with the beat as she scattered flour across her marble counter. As she uncovered the towel that covered the top of the bowl where the dough was, there was a knock on her apartment door.

After patting her hands on her thighs to somewhat reduce the flour she had on her palms, she made her way to open the front door; after seeing who was on the opposite side of the door, she plastered on a polite smile —  despite being shocked — as she greeted, “Hey, James!”

“Hi doll, mind if I come in?” But just as he spoke those words he was already making quick strides inside her apartment.  Her brows puckered up in confusion as she shut the door and followed Bucky as he headed to her living room, “Is there something you needed, James?”

“Why don’t you call me Bucky, pretty girl?”

His straightforward question had her biting the inside of her cheeks to hold herself back from feeling flustered; stammering a bit, she returned to her kitchen counter where she continued her rolling of the cinnamon dough, “I just thought that maybe I wasn’t as close to you — that I’m not close enough with you to call you that nickname.”

Leaving the back of the couch where he was leaning on and walked to her; when his front frame touched her back, she stiffened for a bit when she felt his warmth and presence looming over her. “Call me Bucky,” He breathed over her neck as his fingers settled themselves on her hips.

Gulping down her nervousness, she nodded as she continued on her task, “Okay Bucky,” Her hands had a tremble in them when his fingertips drummed the skin underneath the shirt she was wearing, “Uh Bucky?” “Yes, doll?” He hummed with his lips pressed firmly against her shoulder — goosebumps arose on her skin which prompted him to smirk at the effect the Avenger had on her. “I don’t think you should be here, not right now at least.” It surprised her how she was able to stutter out that response given how nervous she was.

“That hurts, doll; why won’t you welcome me in your home hm?” Having left her hips, his fingers now tapped along her stomach. “It’s just that, right now,” She inhaled sharply when the flesh of her underboob felt the coldness of his bionic arm, “I’m baking something for your birthday.”

Touched with her actions, Bucky then thanked her, “Thank you for that doll, really looking out for me huh?” After hesitating on whether she should clarify as to why she was preparing the sweets, she then confessed, “Every department has to give a cake for you, for your birthday. And since no one from my department bothered to volunteer to buy or make one for you, so I went ahead and did it — as well as some cinnamon buns.”

Somehow, she didn’t expect him to appreciate her effort; so it came as a surprise to her when his hands fondled her breasts through her shirt, prompting her to stop her process of preparing the now flat, rectangular dough, “Bucky?” She turned to him and felt a shiver go down her spine when he had hooded eyes as he looked at her, “Are you alright?”

Nodding, he pressed his half-hard crotch against her bum as he encouraged her, “Don’t look at me, pretty doll,” His flesh hand tilted her head to face the task at hand, “No matter what happens, I need you to keep on making these rolls okay?”

Like the obedient girl that she was, she nodded and grabbed for the bowl where the filling was. Smirking, his hands then resumed their earlier position of fondling her boobs as his lips were leaving marks on her neck, “Heard that you were a good girl for some of the Avengers hm?”

A whimper escaped her lips when her nipples were being toyed and played with; spreading the cinnamon filling across the laid out across the dough proved to be a challenge for her as the frosty touch of Bucky’s metal hand flicked her nipple while his flesh hand brutally shoved her shorts down, “Chose to forego the panties, I see?”

Sliding in his index and middle finger into her tight pussy made both of them moan out loud — Bucky loved how tight and wet she already was, it made him feel like she had been dying to feel his touch; while the way her sweet spot was immediately found by the super soldier. Leaning forward, she let out a loud moan when right after adding a third finger and they all hit her sweet spot repeatedly.

“Oh fuck,” She moaned out as she her hand hovered over the dough as he pulled on her nipple hard enough she was sure that it would now all be swollen and was already twice its initial size. It surprised her when his fingers pulled out of her pussy and could hear him licking his fingers; when she turned around to face him with teary eyes, “You taste fucking divine, doll,” He informed her with a wink as licked every single drop of wetness she poured out, “But I’m afraid you didn’t follow the instructions that were given to you.”

A pathetic whine escaped her mouth as he lightly tapped her ass and turned her neck back to face the task at hand, “Spread it all over the edge, doll; treat me with a good bun okay?” The double entendre flew over her pleasure-ridden mind and she just wordlessly nodded and scattered the cinnamon spread, the super soldier smirked to himself as he silently shrugged his sweatpants and briefs as he thrust his cock in her tight channel in one go.

“God this pussy is smooth like velvet,” Bucky rasped out as he anchored himself once again by planting his hands on her breasts, after ripping her shirt in half. Biting down on her lip, her hand moved along with his harsh thrusts and despite its difficulty. “Bucky, please,” She moaned out loud and leaned back into his chest — as she looked to her right, she got a perfect view of his chiseled face as he grunted out and looked at her with a feral look in his eyes, “We really turned you into one needy little slut hm?”

Her eyes rolled out to the back of her head as she nodded against his chest; despite loving the elated look that was painted on her face he had to remind her that there was something she should be doing, “I believe you should be doing something, sweet doll,” He peeked over her frame and smiled when the whole dough had been covered with the brown filling, “Such a good little doll you are hm?”

Loving the way he thrust into her walls hard and fast despite how tightly her walls clung onto his thick cock, she then rolled the dough with shaky hands. As he was bouncing her tits on his hands Bucky planted his lips on her shoulders — sucking on the skin there — and paired with the way he was all bulging inside her as he repeatedly rammed in and out of her cunt made him feel an overwhelming amount of pleasure.

“Such a good doll for me,” The praise went straight to her pussy, ergo making her wetter and impossibly tighter, “With the way you’re squeezing me I might not be able to pull out of this pussy,” To solidify his point, he clutched onto her breasts with an iron grip as he slid all the way in, brushing past her sweet spot and crashing into her cervix, “Not that I’d want to ever pull out of you.”

After fully rolling on the dough, Y/N accidentally flattened her hands on both ends of the dough as Bucky plowed in and out of her while raising her right leg onto the counter to allow him penetrate her deeper, “I’m so close, Bucky, please.”

Her whines sounded like a melodious song and he wanted to hear it for as long as he lived, “Beg me more, doll.” Another rush of shivers ran down her spine when she heard how hoarse his voice was; and since she was far too hypnotised to hear his voice she pleaded, “Please Bucky, please make me cum. Wanna be good for you.”

Her whimpers of need were just what sent him over the edge as he came inside her without warning; she released a series of pants when she felt his cum trickle out and taint her insides. “Milking all of me,” Bucky breathed out as he left kisses at the back of her neck as he continued to thrust in and out her, albeit slower but with the same vigour as earlier.

“Please Bucky, wanna cum. Your cock feels so good in me,” She whined and made the mistake of rubbing her clit in circles. When he saw what she was doing, his metal hand grabbed both of her hands, pinning them behind her back as his flesh hand landed multiple spanks against her clit, “What are you touching yourself for huh, little doll?”

One last tug at her clit, he then paid attention to her breasts by pulling on and flicking her nipples that he had grown to appreciate over the short time he’d play with them, “Don’t think I can satisfy you, huh?”

She shrieked out both in surprise and pleasure when he slid all the way in and tightened his grip on her hands while his other hand slapped her tit, “I’m sorry! I just wanna cum,” In her mind she sounded incredibly pathetic but the super soldier loved how she was reduced into a moaning, needy mess for him.

“Then cum for me, doll,” He ordered her as he continued to prod her sweet spot with the wide tip of his cock as he now fastened himself while he fondled her breasts after setting her hands free, “Cum for the birthday boy.”

With his instruction, she came apart and pressed her entire body fully against the dough she had prepared due to the intensity of her orgasm. Meanwhile Bucky had a wicked grin plastered on his face as he watched her body tremble as he continued to slowly, but roughly rut into her.

Lifting her up by her shoulders since he removed his hands from her boobs as she planted herself against the dough; clicking his tongue, he expertly turned her around to face him without ever needing to pull his cock out from where it was snuggly deep inside her as he took in how her breasts now had faint traces of the brown cinnamon roll complimenting her skin, “Looks like you made quite a mess there, doll.”

Looking down to where his eyes were looking, shy shyly smiled at him and shrugged; without a care, Bucky leaned down and licked a lin from the top of her right breast down to her her nipple where a the brown filling was before lifting his head to look at her as he smirked, “Looks like I’m gonna have to clean you up.”

[artificialqueens]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer), Chapter 2 (Branjie, Jankie) - Joley

ao3 link

Tumblr link

Jackie stood in the center of her apartment, hands on her hips, and exhaling deeply. She had spent the past few hours cleaning the place from top to bottom. Had it been a bit over the top? Perhaps, but she felt like she would be better off being too thorough than not enough. Maybe it wasn’t the first impression Jan would have of her, but it was one that would count.

She checked the time on her phone – she had finished with ten minutes to spare. Regardless of anything else, she was pretty proud of what she had accomplished, and she probably could put off cleaning for a couple weeks now. Who knew all she needed was just the right bit of motivation? With the time she had left, she poured herself a glass of wine. She earned it. Beyond that, she needed it.

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door and Jackie narrowly avoided spilling what was left of her wine as she set it down on the counter and raced to open the door. “Hey Jan,” she greeted casually, as if she hadn’t nearly tripped over herself to race to the door.

“Hi Jackie,” Jan chirped as she walked in, unaware of what had transpired, nor did she pick up on the fact that Jackie seemed slightly out of breath. “Okay,” she prompted, setting a purple folder on the table, “I’m ready for audition prep 101 with Miss Cox.”

Jackie picked up the folder, hand lingering on the counter while she decided whether or not to grab the glass as well. She settled against it, leading Jan into the living room. “So, how many songs do you have it narrowed down to?”

“I got it down to three,” she replied, waiting for Jackie to open the folder to see the pieces of sheet music as well as a few typed up monologues. “I have a couple tried and true ones, and one that’s a little new to me, but I think it fits the vibe of the show better.”

“Smart thinking,” Jackie praised, looking at the sheet music. “Who are you auditioning for again?”

“I thought it over, and I’m gonna go for Veronica. It’s kind of out of my comfort zone, but that’s what excites me about it, you know? If there was ever a chance to break out of what I usually do, this would be it,” Jan explained. “So, if that narrows it down any further…”

“Oh, it only leaves one option,” Jackie said simply. “‘Everything Else’ is the only one with the right energy, the other ones are too… cute, too lighthearted.” She handed Jan the sheet music.

Jan nodded and took the paper. “I trust you implicitly.”

“At your own risk.” Jackie chuckled. “Will you sing for me? I’d like to hear you go through your number, see if anything needs to be tweaked,” she told her, but she also just really wanted to hear her sing. Jan seemed so bright and confident, she was eager to know where that came from.

And Jan seemed more than willing to oblige. “Of course, I have the music on my phone, if you have a speaker or something that I can plug into.”

Jackie nodded and helped Jan get set up. “I want you to run through the whole thing, that way we can pick out the best section for your sixteen bars,” she explained. She sat down on her couch, looking as Jan stood in front of her, the student taking a few preparatory breaths.

And then Jan started singing, and everything made sense for Jackie - why Jan was in this program, why she exuded such a positive confidence. Her voice was immaculate, it captivated Jackie’s attention even more than their first meeting. And she must have shown her approval, because Jan seemed excited by her expression once she’d finished the song.

“So that was good?” Jan asked, eyes bright and hopeful.

“Perfect, are you sure you even need my help?” Jackie teased. “Here, I’m gonna highlight the bars on the sheet music,” she said, standing up and motioning her over to the dining room table.

Jan moved to stand right behind Jackie, perched up on her tiptoes to rest her chin on her shoulder, hand resting on her waist. “I’m excited about this. I wish you could be in the room or something, like a good luck charm.”

Jackie let out a soft chuckle. “You think I’m a good luck charm?”

She shrugged and smiled. “I dunno, I feel a good energy with you. Like, your presence is warm and calming. It’s a good balance, considering my default is the same as a person that took half a bottle of caffeine pills.”

That brought a slight blush to Jackie’s cheeks. She turned, giving her a hug, one she wanted more than she would ever let on. “Well, that’s very kind of you to say.”

“You smell nice,” Jan observed before Jackie pulled back from the hug.

“Oh, thank you.” Jackie grinned, doing her damndest not to get flustered. “Um, do you want something to drink? I was having a glass of wine myself,” she said, already walking over to her glass.

“I’m not twenty-one, but I won’t tell if you won’t,” she hummed.

Jackie chuckled, pouring Jan a glass as well. “I’m from Canada; it’s eighteen there, so we can play by my rules.” She winked.

Jan’s brow rose as she accepted the glass. “Oh, so you’re the boss here?” she asked as she took a sip.

“This is my house,” she pointed out with a light laugh. “Ergo, my rules.”

“Oh, we’re using our fancy adverbs now. Point taken,” Jan teased, then held her glass up. “Cheers!”

Jackie grinned, clinking their glasses and taking a sip. And for a moment, everything was calm and relaxed, but then there was a sudden, loud crack of thunder that made them both jump. They both looked out the window and saw that rain was pouring down as if it were a storm of biblical proportions.

“Shit, it’s really coming down hard out there,” Jan observed. “Wasn’t even raining when I got here.”

“I can’t let you go back out there,” Jackie shook her head. “You can stay here at least until the rain lets up, I don’t mind if you crash here if it doesn’t,” she offered.

Jan let out a small sigh of relief. “Yeah, if you don’t mind, of course,” she replied, as if she hadn’t been hoping for the offer. “It’ll be fun, we can get wine drunk and watch bad reality TV.”

Jackie started to open her mouth to agree, then paused. “Have you eaten yet? You should definitely have some dinner if you’re going to keep drinking,” she said, setting her glass down so she could go and rifle through her fridge. “I have leftover sushi if you want, or I can make sandwiches or something.”

Something about the naturally kind and doting demeanor Jackie had instantly put Jan at ease. It made her feel warm and comfortable, like they had known each other for years without the awkward pretenses that sometimes came with meeting someone new. “Whatever’s easier. I’m not a picky eater.” She shrugged.

While Jackie decided on the sushi and got that out, Jan was pouring herself another glass of wine, and topped Jackie’s glass off as well. “Thank you,” she hummed when Jackie handed her the plate, setting it on the table and sitting down to eat. “Y’know, everyone always says that sushi never tastes as good on the second day, but like, they’re just snobs. It’s totally just as good. Or maybe my standards are low, whatever.”

Jackie giggled softly as she listened. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol that made Jan ramble like that, or if that was just part of her personality. Either way, she thought it was adorable, and sat next to her as she hung onto her every word. “I think leftovers are underrated as a whole,” she agreed.

“You get me.” Jan beamed, one hand over her heart and the other on Jackie’s shoulder.

She bit down on her lip, not knowing how loud the laugh that nearly escaped would’ve been, and put her hand on top of Jan’s. “I try,” she cooed, then stood up. “Come on, let’s go watch TV,” she said and moved them to the couch, then topped off their glasses.

Jan sat down next to Jackie, as close as she could physically be without sitting on her lap. In her defense, this was always how she’d get after a couple of drinks – touchy-feely, flirty, and yes, even more talkative than normal, as demonstrated by the tangent she went off on about the show they were watching.

And Jackie wasn’t exactly complaining – especially about the touchy-feely part. The alcohol was affecting her as well; the part of her brain that was constantly plagued with overthinking and worry was always the first to go once she started to get tipsy, and neither of them had stopped drinking as they continued half-watching TV.

“God, you’re so pretty,” she said, not realizing it was out loud.

Not that it would’ve been a problem, as Jan just seemed to appreciate the compliment. “Aw, thank you! I think you’re super pretty too.”

“Do you really?”

Jan scoffed. “Of course I do. I thought you were hot since I first saw you,” she said, tossing her ponytail off her shoulder as she picked her glass back up.

“This is news to me,” Jackie admitted as she had more to drink as well.

“That’s why I’m telling you, duh,” she giggled, then turned to better face her. “Your hair is so nice and thick and shiny,” she observed, immediately going to play with it, running her hands through it and twirling pieces around her fingers.

Jackie let out a content sigh as Jan’s fingers wove through her hair. “Careful,” she warned, “this is practically foreplay for me.”

Jan smirked, her arms draping around Jackie’s neck. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but neither of them would’ve been able to say who initiated the kiss, just that one second they weren’t kissing, and the next second they were. They could still taste the wine one each other’s lips as they let the deep, languid kiss continue.

Jackie pulled Jan onto her lap, arms wrapping around her waist. She trailed her lips along Jan’s jaw and down her neck, starting by just kissing and nipping along the expanse of skin before leaving a mark just where her neck met her collarbone. Her hands moved up and down Jan’s body, starting to push up her shirt.

Jan was a bit more direct, swiftly undoing the buttons on Jackie’s blouse and slipping it off her shoulders. Their lips reconnected in another heated kiss, and she gripped Jackie’s hair with one hand while the other pushed her bra up and palmed over her breast.

That gave Jackie enough reason to follow her lead, pulling Jan’s shirt off and pulling her close, their bodies flush up against each other. She unhooked her bra soon after, tossing it aside and letting her hands explore Jan’s bare torso.

The way Jackie’s hands felt against her body sent goosebumps all over Jan’s skin. Jackie’s hands were smooth and warm and made her arch into each touch. She started to grind against Jackie as well, straddling her thigh to better do so.

Jackie was fairly certain that she had never seen anything hotter than Jan grinding on her thigh, or heard anything hotter than the little whimpers and whines she let out. It landed on top of Jan’s sheet music, pushing a couple pages onto the floor, but neither of them noticed in the slightest.

Any sense of control or inhibition that Jan had entered Jackie’s apartment with had long since gone out the window. She tossed her head back, letting out sharp, breathy moans as she continued to grind on Jackie’s thigh with more and more fervor and desire.

Jackie caressed Jan’s body, hands moving up and down her sides, memorizing every curve with her fingertips. She pressed open-mouthed kisses between her breasts, down to her stomach as far as she could reach, eyes flicking up to watch the expression of relaxed pleasure on Jan’s face.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Jan’s voice was higher, more strained, and it wasn’t long before she realized she was chasing the orgasm that was rapidly approaching. Her hips were bucking more erratically and she was grabbing onto Jackie wherever she could.

“That’s it, come for me,” Jackie cooed, kissing and sucking at Jan’s neck as she held her through her orgasm. And once she felt Jan let herself go limp in her arms, she scooped her up and carried her into bed.

They laid in bed quietly, nothing but the sounds of thunder and rain hammering against the windows to be heard. It was calm, but with the distant tinge of anxiety because neither of them knew what to say. What was there to say after that?

Jackie turned to face Jan, hoping the words would come to her. But to her relief, Jan had passed out. And Jackie had to admit, she looked just as beautiful asleep.

——

Jan was the first to wake up the next morning, groggy and disoriented, but not quite hungover. She wasn’t sure how she should feel about waking up topless in Jackie’s bed – guilty? Confused? Stressed? It wasn’t that she regretted it, but she was afraid that it would complicate what was supposed to be a friendship at most.

Time was ticking away before Jackie would wake up, and Jan needed to decide what she wanted to do, and quickly. She pushed herself out of bed and went into the other room to get dressed. As she went back into the bedroom, she noticed that Jackie had personalized stationary on her desk (because of course she did). Jan decided that leaving a note and bailing was the best option - it was more personal than a text and she was still able to avoid confrontation.

Hi Jackie!

Sorry to run out on you like this, I had to get somewhere in a rush. But I had a great time with you last night, and I’ll see you in class on Monday. :)

Jan ♥

Jan wondered if the heart was too much, but decided it would be worse to erase it, so she left it on Jackie’s nightstand and quietly left. And she kept her fast pace, making it back to her dorm in record time. The second she got back to her dorm, she flopped onto her bed and screamed into her pillow.

“Rough night?” Lemon asked as she casually looked over at her disheveled and distressed roommate. “Not like you to spend it elsewhere.”

“Got caught in the storm, stayed with a friend,” she mumbled as she sat up.

Lemon arched her brow. “You get hickies from your friends often?”

Jan’s eyes widened as she turned to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there were multiple visible bruises littering her neck. “Oh, fuck me.”

“Looks like someone already did.”

“We didn’t have sex!” she insisted, unable to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. “I mean, even by lesbian standards, it wasn’t sex. We weren’t even naked.”

Lemon continued to look at Jan as if she were insisting the Earth was flat. “First of all, as a lesbian, I have no fucking idea what ‘lesbian standards’ are and I don’t want to know. Second, Even if it wasn’t ‘technically’ sex, it was enough to get you all worked up like this.”

Jan groaned and laid on her back. “It just shouldn’t have happened… It was my TA, Lem.”

“Damn, you gonna get some extra credit at least?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know why I tell you things,” she murmured, reaching for her phone. She knew telling Gigi wouldn’t be any easier, but it wasn’t exactly something she would be able to keep as a secret.

And when Jan did meet up with Gigi, she wasn’t dreading the confession any less. They sat in a booth at a nearby diner, placing a brunch order before she decided she needed to just rip the bandage off. “I spent the night with Jackie.”

Gigi nearly spit her coffee out at that. “You did? Why? What happened? Don’t you skip any fucking details, Sport.”

Jan chewed on her lip. “The storm was really bad, so we decided I’d just stay there. Then we had some wine… well, a lot of wine. And we… We didn’t fuck, per sé, but things got very heated.”

“That would explain why you’re wearing a scarf in seventy degree weather.” she nodded as if she were making an astute observation. “So what happened when you guys woke up?”

Jan’s gaze drifted down to the table. “I woke up before she did, left her a note and went back to my dorm while she was asleep.”

Gigi looked at her friend like she was ready to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. But instead she just asked, “Are you fucking stupid?”

To which Jan shrugged and replied, “Maybe.” There was a brief pause as they received their meals. “But can you be specific as to why, though?”

“This was literally a sign that you guys have a connection, at least a physical one. The least you could’ve done is talk to her, how’s she going to take it as anything other than you not being interested, and don’t you try and act like you’re not.”

“I’m not not interested,” Jan conceded. “I just… It shouldn’t have happened like this, you know? I went over there to practice for my audition, not to dry hump her fucking thigh.”

Gigi did her best to listen and be the supportive friend that Jan clearly needed. “Look, you can’t un-fuck up how you handled that,” she started. “We just need to figure out where to go from here.”

Jan nodded in agreement as she picked at her food. Where did she go from here? Her heart said back to Jackie, but her brain said into a coma, ideally.

[missjanjie]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (2/?)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~6.1k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

read on ao3

Jackie stood in the center of her apartment, hands on her hips, and exhaling deeply. She had spent the past few hours cleaning the place from top to bottom. Had it been a bit over the top? Perhaps, but she felt like she would be better off being too thorough than not enough. Maybe it wasn’t the first impression Jan would have of her, but it was one that would count.

She checked the time on her phone – she had finished with ten minutes to spare. Regardless of anything else, she was pretty proud of what she had accomplished, and she probably could put off cleaning for a couple weeks now. Who knew all she needed was just the right bit of motivation? With the time she had left, she poured herself a glass of wine. She earned it. Beyond that, she needed it.

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door and Jackie narrowly avoided spilling what was left of her wine as she set it down on the counter and raced to open the door. “Hey Jan,” she greeted casually, as if she hadn’t nearly tripped over herself to race to the door.

“Hi Jackie,” Jan chirped as she walked in, unaware of what had transpired, nor did she pick up on the fact that Jackie seemed slightly out of breath. “Okay,” she prompted, setting a purple folder on the table, “I’m ready for audition prep 101 with Miss Cox.”

Jackie picked up the folder, hand lingering on the counter while she decided whether or not to grab the glass as well. She settled against it, leading Jan into the living room. “So, how many songs do you have it narrowed down to?”

“I got it down to three,” she replied, waiting for Jackie to open the folder to see the pieces of sheet music as well as a few typed up monologues. “I have a couple tried and true ones, and one that’s a little new to me, but I think it fits the vibe of the show better.”

“Smart thinking,” Jackie praised, looking at the sheet music. “Who are you auditioning for again?”

“I thought it over, and I’m gonna go for Veronica. It’s kind of out of my comfort zone, but that’s what excites me about it, you know? If there was ever a chance to break out of what I usually do, this would be it,” Jan explained. “So, if that narrows it down any further…”

“Oh, it only leaves one option,” Jackie said simply. “‘Everything Else’ is the only one with the right energy, the other ones are too… cute, too lighthearted.” She handed Jan the sheet music.

Jan nodded and took the paper. “I trust you implicitly.”

“At your own risk.” Jackie chuckled. “Will you sing for me? I’d like to hear you go through your number, see if anything needs to be tweaked,” she told her, but she also just really wanted to hear her sing. Jan seemed so bright and confident, she was eager to know where that came from.

And Jan seemed more than willing to oblige. “Of course, I have the music on my phone, if you have a speaker or something that I can plug into.”

Jackie nodded and helped Jan get set up. “I want you to run through the whole thing, that way we can pick out the best section for your sixteen bars,” she explained. She sat down on her couch, looking as Jan stood in front of her, the student taking a few preparatory breaths.

And then Jan started singing, and everything made sense for Jackie - why Jan was in this program, why she exuded such a positive confidence. Her voice was immaculate, it captivated Jackie’s attention even more than their first meeting. And she must have shown her approval, because Jan seemed excited by her expression once she’d finished the song.

“So that was good?” Jan asked, eyes bright and hopeful.

“Perfect, are you sure you even need my help?” Jackie teased. “Here, I’m gonna highlight the bars on the sheet music,” she said, standing up and motioning her over to the dining room table.

Jan moved to stand right behind Jackie, perched up on her tiptoes to rest her chin on her shoulder, hand resting on her waist. “I’m excited about this. I wish you could be in the room or something, like a good luck charm.”

Jackie let out a soft chuckle. “You think I’m a good luck charm?”

She shrugged and smiled. “I dunno, I feel a good energy with you. Like, your presence is warm and calming. It’s a good balance, considering my default is the same as a person that took half a bottle of caffeine pills.”

That brought a slight blush to Jackie’s cheeks. She turned, giving her a hug, one she wanted more than she would ever let on. “Well, that’s very kind of you to say.”

“You smell nice,” Jan observed before Jackie pulled back from the hug.

“Oh, thank you.” Jackie grinned, doing her damndest not to get flustered. “Um, do you want something to drink? I was having a glass of wine myself,” she said, already walking over to her glass.

“I’m not twenty-one, but I won’t tell if you won’t,” she hummed.

Jackie chuckled, pouring Jan a glass as well. “I’m from Canada; it’s eighteen there, so we can play by my rules.” She winked.

Jan’s brow rose as she accepted the glass. “Oh, so you’re the boss here?” she asked as she took a sip.

“This is my house,” she pointed out with a light laugh. “Ergo, my rules.”

“Oh, we’re using our fancy adverbs now. Point taken,” Jan teased, then held her glass up. “Cheers!”

Jackie grinned, clinking their glasses and taking a sip. And for a moment, everything was calm and relaxed, but then there was a sudden, loud crack of thunder that made them both jump. They both looked out the window and saw that rain was pouring down as if it were a storm of biblical proportions.

“Shit, it’s really coming down hard out there,” Jan observed. “Wasn’t even raining when I got here.”

“I can’t let you go back out there,” Jackie shook her head. “You can stay here at least until the rain lets up, I don’t mind if you crash here if it doesn’t,” she offered.

Jan let out a small sigh of relief. “Yeah, if you don’t mind, of course,” she replied, as if she hadn’t been hoping for the offer. “It’ll be fun, we can get wine drunk and watch bad reality TV.”

Jackie started to open her mouth to agree, then paused. “Have you eaten yet? You should definitely have some dinner if you’re going to keep drinking,” she said, setting her glass down so she could go and rifle through her fridge. “I have leftover sushi if you want, or I can make sandwiches or something.”

Something about the naturally kind and doting demeanor Jackie had instantly put Jan at ease. It made her feel warm and comfortable, like they had known each other for years without the awkward pretenses that sometimes came with meeting someone new. “Whatever’s easier. I’m not a picky eater.” She shrugged.

While Jackie decided on the sushi and got that out, Jan was pouring herself another glass of wine, and topped Jackie’s glass off as well. “Thank you,” she hummed when Jackie handed her the plate, setting it on the table and sitting down to eat. “Y’know, everyone always says that sushi never tastes as good on the second day, but like, they’re just snobs. It’s totally just as good. Or maybe my standards are low, whatever.”

Jackie giggled softly as she listened. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol that made Jan ramble like that, or if that was just part of her personality. Either way, she thought it was adorable, and sat next to her as she hung onto her every word. “I think leftovers are underrated as a whole,” she agreed.

“You get me.” Jan beamed, one hand over her heart and the other on Jackie’s shoulder.

She bit down on her lip, not knowing how loud the laugh that nearly escaped would’ve been, and put her hand on top of Jan’s. “I try,” she cooed, then stood up. “Come on, let’s go watch TV,” she said and moved them to the couch, then topped off their glasses.

Jan sat down next to Jackie, as close as she could physically be without sitting on her lap. In her defense, this was always how she’d get after a couple of drinks – touchy-feely, flirty, and yes, even more talkative than normal, as demonstrated by the tangent she went off on about the show they were watching.

And Jackie wasn’t exactly complaining – especially about the touchy-feely part. The alcohol was affecting her as well; the part of her brain that was constantly plagued with overthinking and worry was always the first to go once she started to get tipsy, and neither of them had stopped drinking as they continued half-watching TV.

“God, you’re so pretty,” she said, not realizing it was out loud.

Not that it would’ve been a problem, as Jan just seemed to appreciate the compliment. “Aw, thank you! I think you’re super pretty too.”

“Do you really?”

Jan scoffed. “Of course I do. I thought you were hot since I first saw you,” she said, tossing her ponytail off her shoulder as she picked her glass back up.

“This is news to me,” Jackie admitted as she had more to drink as well.

“That’s why I’m telling you, duh,” she giggled, then turned to better face her. “Your hair is so nice and thick and shiny,” she observed, immediately going to play with it, running her hands through it and twirling pieces around her fingers.

Jackie let out a content sigh as Jan’s fingers wove through her hair. “Careful,” she warned, “this is practically foreplay for me.”

Jan smirked, her arms draping around Jackie’s neck. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but neither of them would’ve been able to say who initiated the kiss, just that one second they weren’t kissing, and the next second they were. They could still taste the wine one each other’s lips as they let the deep, languid kiss continue.

Jackie pulled Jan onto her lap, arms wrapping around her waist. She trailed her lips along Jan’s jaw and down her neck, starting by just kissing and nipping along the expanse of skin before leaving a mark just where her neck met her collarbone. Her hands moved up and down Jan’s body, starting to push up her shirt.

Jan was a bit more direct, swiftly undoing the buttons on Jackie’s blouse and slipping it off her shoulders. Their lips reconnected in another heated kiss, and she gripped Jackie’s hair with one hand while the other pushed her bra up and palmed over her breast.

That gave Jackie enough reason to follow her lead, pulling Jan’s shirt off and pulling her close, their bodies flush up against each other. She unhooked her bra soon after, tossing it aside and letting her hands explore Jan’s bare torso.

The way Jackie’s hands felt against her body sent goosebumps all over Jan’s skin. Jackie’s hands were smooth and warm and made her arch into each touch. She started to grind against Jackie as well, straddling her thigh to better do so.

Jackie was fairly certain that she had never seen anything hotter than Jan grinding on her thigh, or heard anything hotter than the little whimpers and whines she let out. It landed on top of Jan’s sheet music, pushing a couple pages onto the floor, but neither of them noticed in the slightest.

Any sense of control or inhibition that Jan had entered Jackie’s apartment with had long since gone out the window. She tossed her head back, letting out sharp, breathy moans as she continued to grind on Jackie’s thigh with more and more fervor and desire.

Jackie caressed Jan’s body, hands moving up and down her sides, memorizing every curve with her fingertips. She pressed open-mouthed kisses between her breasts, down to her stomach as far as she could reach, eyes flicking up to watch the expression of relaxed pleasure on Jan’s face.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Jan’s voice was higher, more strained, and it wasn’t long before she realized she was chasing the orgasm that was rapidly approaching. Her hips were bucking more erratically and she was grabbing onto Jackie wherever she could.

“That’s it, come for me,” Jackie cooed, kissing and sucking at Jan’s neck as she held her through her orgasm. And once she felt Jan let herself go limp in her arms, she scooped her up and carried her into bed.

They laid in bed quietly, nothing but the sounds of thunder and rain hammering against the windows to be heard. It was calm, but with the distant tinge of anxiety because neither of them knew what to say. What was there to say after that?

Jackie turned to face Jan, hoping the words would come to her. But to her relief, Jan had passed out. And Jackie had to admit, she looked just as beautiful asleep.

------

Jan was the first to wake up the next morning, groggy and disoriented, but not quite hungover. She wasn’t sure how she should feel about waking up topless in Jackie’s bed – guilty? Confused? Stressed? It wasn’t that she regretted it, but she was afraid that it would complicate what was supposed to be a friendship at most.

Time was ticking away before Jackie would wake up, and Jan needed to decide what she wanted to do, and quickly. She pushed herself out of bed and went into the other room to get dressed. As she went back into the bedroom, she noticed that Jackie had personalized stationary on her desk (because of course she did). Jan decided that leaving a note and bailing was the best option - it was more personal than a text and she was still able to avoid confrontation.

Hi Jackie!

Sorry to run out on you like this, I had to get somewhere in a rush. But I had a great time with you last night, and I’ll see you in class on Monday. :)

Jan ♥

Jan wondered if the heart was too much, but decided it would be worse to erase it, so she left it on Jackie’s nightstand and quietly left. And she kept her fast pace, making it back to her dorm in record time. The second she got back to her dorm, she flopped onto her bed and screamed into her pillow.

“Rough night?” Lemon asked as she casually looked over at her disheveled and distressed roommate. “Not like you to spend it elsewhere.”

“Got caught in the storm, stayed with a friend,” she mumbled as she sat up.

Lemon arched her brow. “You get hickies from your friends often?”

Jan’s eyes widened as she turned to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there were multiple visible bruises littering her neck. “Oh, fuck me.”

“Looks like someone already did.”

“We didn’t have sex!” she insisted, unable to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. “I mean, even by lesbian standards, it wasn’t sex. We weren’t even naked.”

Lemon continued to look at Jan as if she were insisting the Earth was flat. “First of all, as a lesbian, I have no fucking idea what ‘lesbian standards’ are and I don’t want to know. Second, Even if it wasn’t ‘technically’ sex, it was enough to get you all worked up like this.”

Jan groaned and laid on her back. “It just shouldn’t have happened… It was my TA, Lem.”

“Damn, you gonna get some extra credit at least?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know why I tell you things,” she murmured, reaching for her phone. She knew telling Gigi wouldn’t be any easier, but it wasn’t exactly something she would be able to keep as a secret.

And when Jan did meet up with Gigi, she wasn’t dreading the confession any less. They sat in a booth at a nearby diner, placing a brunch order before she decided she needed to just rip the bandage off. “I spent the night with Jackie.”

Gigi nearly spit her coffee out at that. “You did? Why? What happened? Don’t you skip any fucking details, Sport.”

Jan chewed on her lip. “The storm was really bad, so we decided I’d just stay there. Then we had some wine… well, a lot of wine. And we… We didn’t fuck, per sé, but things got very heated.”

“That would explain why you’re wearing a scarf in seventy degree weather.” she nodded as if she were making an astute observation. “So what happened when you guys woke up?”

Jan’s gaze drifted down to the table. “I woke up before she did, left her a note and went back to my dorm while she was asleep.”

Gigi looked at her friend like she was ready to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. But instead she just asked, “Are you fucking stupid?”

To which Jan shrugged and replied, “Maybe.” There was a brief pause as they received their meals. “But can you be specific as to why, though?”

“This was literally a sign that you guys have a connection, at least a physical one. The least you could’ve done is talk to her, how’s she going to take it as anything other than you not being interested, and don’t you try and act like you’re not.”

“I’m not not interested,” Jan conceded. “I just… It shouldn’t have happened like this, you know? I went over there to practice for my audition, not to dry hump her fucking thigh.”

Gigi did her best to listen and be the supportive friend that Jan clearly needed. “Look, you can’t un-fuck up how you handled that,” she started. “We just need to figure out where to go from here.”

Jan nodded in agreement as she picked at her food. Where did she go from here? Her heart said back to Jackie, but her brain said into a coma, ideally.

[rubysworld-world-stuff]

Sleepless Nights

Summary: Having visions about what’s going to happen on a mission is not easy to deal with. Good thing the visions only come when sleeping. There is an easy solution to this.

Pairing: implied Steve x Reader

Word Count: 5259

A/N: I got a little carried away with this one. Feedback is always appreciated :)

A heavy sigh escaped my lips. I closed my eyes focusing on the smell coming from the machine in front of me. The scent of freshly brewed coffee invaded my nostrils and already warmed me from the inside out. I reopened my eyes leaning my elbows on the counter top while still holding a tight grip on my over-dimensional coffee mug. This way my gaze was on the same level as the sacred device.

I watched the black drops of the holy beverage drip into the coffeepot, slowly filling it up. As I kept my focus on this event, the reason and the worries that were keeping me awake throughout even the ungodly hours of the night were being pushed to the furthest corner of my mind.

However, despite the light burning as bright as the sun itself and the reviving smell of coffee, my eyes started to flutter shut. The ticking of the grandfather clock Tony had insisted on keeping was on beat with the drops of the dark juice falling into the steady growing puddle on the bottom of the pot.

Tick. Drip. Tock. Drop. Tick. Drip. Tock. Drop.

All of a sudden I shot up, shocked about my own carelessness. In the process, I took a surprised step back from the counter paying no regard to the forgotten mug in my hands. I let go of the mug sending it flying to the floor. It broke into pieces as it hit the tiles of the kitchen, making a shattering sound that echoed through the whole compound.

I froze. My gaze went towards the archway at the opposite side of the kitchen marking the entrance. Holding my breath I listened.

There was only the sound of the grandfather clock from the living room and the steady hum of the coffee machine. It looked like everybody was still fast asleep. After a minute or so, I let my breath escape and focused back on the mess I had made.

Eyeing the shattered pieces of porcelain, a frown appeared between my eyebrows and a whine left my mouth. This had been my favorite cup.

I let out a heavy sigh. After this little show of self-pity, I went over to the cupboard underneath the sink and took out a brush and a dustpan and started sweeping the tragic remains of one of my closest friends. At least I had something to do; there was no danger of falling asleep while working.

When I finished cleaning up, I put the tools aside and reached for a new mug inside the cabinet. I was sure Bruce wouldn’t mind if I was taking his for now.

As I came to stand beside the coffee machine once again, the pot now half-way filled to the top and the delicious smell wafting through the kitchen, I noticed a movement from the corner of my eye.

Turning quickly in order to defend myself if it came to a fight, I barely picked up on the shattering sound as the second cup that night was sent flying by my hands.

“(Y/N)?”

Steve was standing in the archway, his voice gravelly. He rubbed at his eyes with one hand evidently getting the sleep out of them. He must have just woken up. Probably by the noise I had unintentionally been making.

Upon seeing my friend and colleague, another breath of relief passed my lips. I relaxed against the counter behind me as one hand went up to my chest right above the ferocious beating of my heart. If the breaking of my favorite mug had not woken me up before, the sudden appearance of the blond super soldier sure did the job.

While I looked at him with slightly less widened eyes, I could see the confusion in his gaze about what I was still doing up this late. I could also see the light twitch at the corner of his lips as a smile tried to form on his face, most likely in regard of my disheveled form.

I held his eyes for a moment – or did he hold mine? – until my brain caught up with what had happened. Hadn’t there been a noise of some sort, other than my heavy breathing?

Once more my eyes widened as realization hit me. I looked down. Sure enough in front of my feet was the green mug that had once belonged to Bruce Banner.

“Oh, man.”

I heard Steve chuckling at my whiny tone as I scooped down to pick up the broken pieces.

“Wait, (Y/N). Be careful with that. Here, let me help.”

His voice was filled with concern. I heard the sound of his bare feet against the tile floor as he walked over.

“No, it’s alright. I got this. You aren’t wearing any shoes… or socks for that matter.”

But Steve ignored my objections. Instead he came over with the brush and dustpan that were still laying on the counter top by the trash can. He put them down next to me and carefully reached over to take the shards I had already collected off of my hands.

I grabbed the tools once more – by now I was a real professional with a brush – and started sweeping – once again. Meanwhile, Steve threw away the bigger shards.

“Bruce is going to kill me,” I said underneath my breath. It was supposed to be inaudible, for my ears only, but Captain America had many talents, enhanced hearing being one of them.

“Why would Bruce kill you,” the amusement clear in his voice.

“Because I just destroyed his cup.” I sighed.

I swiped up the last of the mug and stood, throwing away the evidence that it had ever existed.

When I put the tools back into their place underneath the kitchen sink, I could feel Steve’s eyes on me. After I was done, I stood up straight and turned around to face my friend.

Steve was leaning with his back against the other end of the kitchen counter. He had his arms crossed in front of his broad chest that was covered by a blue T-shirt that seemed a couple of sizes too small. I swallowed hard. Then I let my eyes travel all the way up to his face.

It was framed by tousled blond hair, a stark contrast to his usually styled appearance. His blue eyes were as calm as the sea on a sunny day, but his stare was not less intense, however. There was a crease between his eyebrows. It was the one he always got when he was trying to figure something out. I had the sudden urge to reach out my hand and touche it to the crease on his forehead to smooth it out.

“Why were you using Bruce’s mug?”

His question pulled me out of my trance. I had to blink a few times to find my way back to the here and now. The crease between his eyebrows grew more prominent as he awaited my answer.

I opened my mouth, but closed it after a few seconds as I realized I hadn’t caught the meaning of the words.

“Hm?”

The sound was a little too high pitched for my liking and it made me cringe. I watched as the lopsided grin I liked so much appeared on his lips. However, this time as he started to speak, I forced myself to not be distracted and listen.

“I asked, why you were using Bruce’s mug.”

I shrugged once trying to play it cool, hoping he would let it go. Unfortunately, he raised an eyebrow questioningly, clearly not content with my wordless reply.

I lowered my gaze to stare at my feet clad in sparkling turquoise fuzzy socks.

“I broke mine earlier,” I mumbled in hopes Steve wouldn’t have heard.

But again, Captain America had super-hearing… Ergo, so did Steve.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise before knitting together in consideration. I could feel his scrutinizing look on me and I couldn’t refrain from squirming slightly. At one point I couldn’t suppress the urge to look up any longer.

His eyes were trained on my face. I could swear I saw the up and downs of waves reflecting in them. I swallowed, my mouth dry.

“Why did you break your mug?” His voice was calm and quiet.

Without taking my eyes off of his, I shrugged again. It was the only reply I was willing to give.

Steve’s expression changed and I could make out even more concern, if possible, shadowing his usually sunny features. Looking into those empathetic eyes, I wanted nothing more than to spill the truth. But would me feeling alleviated be worth burdening Steve with even more worries? As the leader of this team, I decided he had enough to worry about.

When it became evident I wouldn’t start to speak anytime soon, Steve slowly came towards me, stopping only when he was less than a foot away. Upon his close proximity, my heartbeat picked up its rhythm as if trying to escape my chest. I would have prayed he wouldn’t hear it, hadn’t I been distracted by his scent – a mixture of soap and leather – invading my nostrils.

His smell in addition to the fact that my eyes were now focused on his broad chest made me feel dazed. All my thoughts had been turned into thin air.

Out of nowhere I felt a large, calloused hand cupping my chin with so much gentleness that it seemed like a harsh contrast to the roughness one might expect from a soldier with super strength. There was a soft pressure making me look up just to be met with the bluest eyes I had ever seen speckled with tiny green spots.

The universe they held enveloped me whole. I was reminded of a day at the beach filled with sunshine, as I splashed around in the sea with my younger brother. A shiver ran down my spine and a calmness I had experienced the last time on that very day took hold of me.

It only lasted a second. Paradoxically, that calmness was what made me feel on edge. All my muscles were tense.

“You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

Steve’s voice was almost inaudible and my eyes flicked down to his lips. I was still aware of his intense gaze on me. I bit my bottom lip not only to keep me from talking, but to keep it from quivering.

The way Steve was interacting with me, his calm and gentle manner somehow sent my emotions into turmoil. Tears were threatening to spill down my cheeks, a sob was stuck in my throat making it impossible for me to breathe properly. It cost me all my strength to keep myself hidden from the member of my team so close to me.

It was silent for an eternity. The only sounds were my accelerated heartbeat and the soothing humming of the coffee machine. Even Steve was holding his breath not wanting to miss any of my words should I decide to open up to him.

Heartbeats later, Steve let out his breath in way of a sigh. He let go of my chin. However, he didn’t step away. A breeze of cold air made me shiver, nonetheless.

“I think coffee doesn’t help with sleeping problems,” Steve joked attempting to lighten the mood.

I inhaled a shaky breath, releasing the lump that had been stuck in my throat. A tear slipped past my guard and I hurried to wipe it away, hoping Steve hadn’t seen.

“That’s-” I cleared my throat. “That’s kinda the point.”

My eyes widened. I was surprised my voice worked. Actually, I was surprised I said anything at all. I surely didn’t mean to.

I risked to sneak a peak at Steve to gouge his reaction. His eyes once again on me, a slight smile appeared on his lips. It didn’t quite reach his eyes and I knew he was just trying to be kind by not pushing me further to explain.

“Right then.”

The blond super soldier walked over to the cabinet and took out two mugs. He filled them with coffee before setting them on the kitchen island. He sat down on one of the stools and took a sip.

I watched closely, trying to see what he was about to do next. But he just kept sitting at the counter contently nursing his drink.

After a little while I tentatively walked over sitting myself down on the stool next to his. I stared at the cup in front of me.

It was the one I had made Steve the first Christmas after having joined the Avengers. He had been the one to welcome me and shown me around. We had hit it off instantly and spent quite some time talking to each other about everything and nothing. It was easy talking to Steve. During one of our conversations he had told me about his favorite piece of art and I had tried to recreate it, painting it on a mug. I had been insecure about my gift when the day actually arrived, but Steve loved it and gladly replaced the mug he had used before – the one with the star on a blue background, a very considerate gift from Tony – with this new one.

Surprised I looked over at him, checking which cup he was using. My suspicions were confirmed as I recognized it. He was drinking out of his hated mug – Tony’s gift – that now belonged to Bucky.

I couldn’t help but stare as my brain reeled trying to figure out what this might mean.

“Is something wrong? God, do I have something on my face,” Steve inquired, putting down his cup and wiping at his mouth.

Shaking my head I quickly averted my eyes and took my own cup in my hands to hide my burning face. I guided the mug toward my lips, the smell of freshly brewed coffee making me close my eyes in satisfaction. The smell always seemed to calm my nerves.

However, before I could take a sip I moved the mug away from my face just to place it back on the counter. I took a deep breath all the while silently cursing myself for what I was about to do. Then I released it in one forceful exhale.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Steve putting down his own cup. His focus was only on me now.

“I’m scared.” The words came out in a whisper. I didn’t dare speak any louder. The words were too heavy.

I counted ten ticks of the grandfather clock before Steve matched my voice.

“Scared of what?”

“Of sleeping.”

Ten more ticks.

“It’s because of your visions.”

It wasn’t a question but I nodded my confirmation, nevertheless.

“They are stronger before a mission,” I started to explain. “It always feels like I’m really there in that moment... But that’s not the worst.”

This time, after ten ticks, Steve stayed silent, letting me decided when to keep going in my own time. It was as if he could sense when I needed someone to push me and when I would get to it on my own.

I swallowed once, gathering the courage to continue.

“I’m scared that some day it won’t just be the destruction of buildings I see. That it won’t be just injuries, which is always bad enough… I’m scared to see-” A sob broke me off. The lump from earlier was back in my throat.

Steve moved at the noise, turning on his stool to fully face me. An expression of pain was set in his face as he was hurting while seeing me like this. He reached out his hand, lightly putting it on mine intending to show me he was there with me and I could share my pain; showing me that I didn’t have to go through it alone.

Without thinking about it, I grabbed his hand holding on to it as if it was the only thing tethering me to reality. The action came to me like a reflex. Steve returned the squeeze of my hand, giving me strength to continue.

“I’m scared I’ll see one of you die.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. They cascaded freely from my eyes.  

Two seconds after the words finally freed themselves from my sealed lips, two strong arms circled around my form, enveloping me in a tight, warm hug.

My arms went around Steve of their own accord; my fingers clawing at his shirt. Steve held me close against his chest as my body was shaking from sobs that forced their way out. Tears were streaming down my face, snot running out of my nose. I knew the sight wasn’t pretty like in the movies, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t. All the emotions inside of me wouldn’t stay captive any longer. They demanded to be released.

I didn’t know for how long I had been crying when the dam eventually sealed. The only thing I knew was: Steve had been holding onto me the entire time; he was still there.

The two of us stayed like this, I safe in his arms, for a moment longer while I tried to catch my breath and compose myself at least a little.

As I moved away, Steve not letting me go farther than half an arms length so he could still have me close, I wiped off the wet paths that the tears had left on my face.

When my sight wasn’t blurry anymore, I noticed the drenched patch of Steve’s shirt clinging to his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay,” Steve interrupted my apology, wiping it away as if it was an unimportant speck of dust.

One of his hands let go of my waist as he reached up to wipe at the last remaining tear stains on my face with his thumb. In that moment I was thankful that my face was already red, swollen and blotchy.

His thumb lingered on my cheek before he cupped it with his large hand. The gesture was so sweet and comforting, I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into the touch.

“I understand that you would rather stay awake than seeing those kinds of scenes play out before your eyes.”

I recoiled at his words as they reminded me of why I was here now, in Steve arms. But Steve had a firm grip on my waist. He wouldn’t let me run away. Not again. Not ever. Especially not like this.

“I get it.” Steve held my gaze with his so I wouldn’t avert my eyes. He needed me to hear this. He needed me to understand.

“I can’t even imagine how it must feel like to experience visions like that. But,” he sighed, “you have to sleep. Especially before a mission. Without enough sleep you might loose your focus and that’s when... those things happen. I wish there would be a way around this, but there isn’t. But I can promise you that, as long as I am here, nothing is going to happen to anyone on this team. You hear me?”

I stared at him. Although his words were supposed to comfort me, which they mostly did, my heart still felt heavy.

“And what about you? Who is going to protect you when you are busy protecting the others?”

I was scared of this answer, this scenario, but I had to ask the question anyway. Uncertainty was even worse than knowing. If you didn’t know what was going to happen, you wouldn’t know how to stop it from happening.

Surprisingly, a smile pulled on one corner of Steve’s lips giving me the lopsided grin I loved so much.

“I’ve got you for that, don’t I?”

It wasn’t relief that flooded my body at his reply. It was something else warming and calming me just as much. A weight was not lifted off of my soul completely, but rather part of it was placed somewhere else. I didn’t have to carry this secret, this burden, around alone any longer.

However, Steve might have alleviated my fear of my visions becoming reality, but the fear of still having them wasn’t so easy to get rid off.

“I’m still scared of sleeping. The visions will still come.”

It was like starting telling Steve about my fears made my confessions now come out easier. I trusted him. I always had. But I knew something had shifted. Especially, as Steve uttered his next words.

“But you won’t have to face them alone.”

He said it as if it was a secret only the two of us would share.

He got up. I watched, curious to see what he was going to do.

After taking the milk out of the refrigerator and dividing it into two cups, he put them into the microwave. While the milk was warming up, Steve poured away the coffee, cleaned the two mugs we had been using as well as the coffee pot and got rid of any evidence that the two of us had been there during the night at all.  

He worked in silence. I didn’t mind, it was comfortable. His presence had, for some reason I didn’t understand myself, a calming effect on me.

Just one second before the microwave chimed, Steve hit the stop button and took out the drinks. Before he left the kitchen, he poured some honey in each cup and announced it as the beverage his mother had sworn on for sleeping problems. I followed him out of the kitchen staying a bit behind to see where he was leading us.

Instead of turning into the living room or getting off the elevator on his floor, he was heading towards my room. In front of the closed door he turned to look at me expectantly. Confused about all his actions up until then, I just looked back with one eyebrow raised. Suddenly, Steve turned a deep red.

“I just thought your bedroom would be a good place to sit and talk and drink the milk. I mean better than the kitchen, you know,” he started stumbling over his words. “I mean, in case any one would wander into the kitchen because they are looking for some water or something. Here we would be away from any prying eyes.”

The crimson color was spreading from his neck all the way up into his face and to the roots of his hair. I was certain, if it had been possible, his hair would have turned red, too.

“I mean not that we would be doing anything… I mean besides talking and drinking warm milk. I don’t mean-”

He interrupted himself at that point. Defeated and clearly embarrassed he let his head hang down. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I had heard the word ‘shoot’ leave his mouth. My mouth was twitching as I tried to keep the amusement hidden from view. I was still confused about what exactly he had intended to explain with that spate of words.

A second later, it hit me. I felt so stupid and I had to close my eyes for a moment to get over my own stupidity. Then I rushed to open the door.

“Oh, sure, of course. I’m sorry. Really sorry. Here you go. Please, come in.”

My face was glowing from heat. Surely, Steve and I could have made a contest out of ‘who was the deeper red’. It would have been close.

“Are you sure?”

I could see that Steve had grown uncertain and hesitant by my reaction or rather lack thereof.  I threw him an encouraging smile.

“Of course.”

Steve took a deep breath before entering and I wondered what that was about. I dismissed the thought as soon as it occurred. I had enough on my plate. The last thing I wanted to do was figuring out why Steve was like he was and did what he did. It was just a Steve-thing.

Once inside with the door closed, he put the cup down on my nightstand. Then he looked around the room aimlessly. The tension was palpable. There was an awkwardness between us I didn’t know where it came from. Spending time with Steve had always been easy-going. There was never a conversation forced between the two of us. Being with Steve was comfortable. This was the opposite.

I didn’t know how I could disperse the tension between us, so I did the first best thing that came to mind. I sat down on my bed settling into the cushions.

When I was settled, I patted on the empty space next to me signaling Steve to sit down and get comfortable himself.

After a moment of hesitation he eventually sat down. However, I could see his tense muscles, even through his layers of clothing. It seemed like he was prepared to fight someone at any minute.

I rolled my eyes. This whole weirdness of the situation was starting to annoy me.

“You know, it might be more comfortable to lean into the pillows behind you instead of sitting up straight. Nobody’s going to attack you in here, you know.”

I tried to make my words sound like a joke while simultaneously showing Steve that he didn’t have to be weirded out by whatever it was that was weirding him out.

He got the message. Tentatively he leaned further back, moving closer to me as to not awkwardly lay and sit at the same time. It took him a few moments, but after a while he began to relax more and more.

When I was satisfied with Steve’s mostly relaxed posture, I grabbed the two cups from my nightstand and handed one to Steve. After, I encircled my cup with my hands and took a sip. The sweet drink warmed my insides and I felt the tension leaving my body altogether.

We sat like that in silence, each one of us listening to their own thoughts. Never had I felt so at peace with someone else. Usually, sitting silently with someone was stressing me out. I would always feel like I had to fill the emptiness between us with meaningless words, but this was different. It was a whole new experience. It was comfortable and cozy.

After ten minutes, Steve broke the silence.

“If you could travel anywhere, where would you want to go?”

At first I was dumbfounded by the apparently random question coming out of nowhere. Then I understood what he was trying to do. I appreciated him attempting to distract me and not make me talk or think about my visions. So I played along.

“Oh, I would love to see…”

We fell into a nice conversation then, alternating between asking each other random questions. The easiness came back step by step and soon enough it seemed impossible that we might have had an awkward moment between us.

Within the conversation I saw a new side to Steve and learned something about the person he really was instead of the person everyone always tried to make him out to be. I also felt myself opening up to him, even though it might not have been evident in regard to the topics of our conversation.

When I had finished my milk with honey, I put the mug back down on my nightstand. Then, still chatting with Steve, I scooted closer to his warmth. On instinct, Steve reached an arm around my body, pulling me so close, my head was resting on his chest. Soon enough the steady heartbeat under my ear, his velvety voice encompassing me, and his even breaths lulled me to sleep.

When I awoke a couple of hours later, panting, sweating, Steve was there to calm and reassure me. He would listen to my vision and I would tell him. For the first time, I didn’t have to deal with it on my own. For the first time, someone was willing to listen to gruesome details that were haunting me even during daytime - especially during daytime. For the first time, I had help carrying this burden. So eventually, I fell back asleep. The last thing I felt was the touch of Steve’s fingers playing with my hair.

In the morning, Steve was still there holding me in his arms as he continued sleeping peacefully for a few more minutes. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his calm features. Never had I felt so well rested before a mission, although four hours of sleep was not ideal yet. Baby steps.

When Steve’s eyes started to flutter and his blue eyes shimmered through his long dark lashes, my breath caught in my throat. I wasn’t sure whether it was the view in front of me or the nervousness taking hold of me.

“Good morning.” His voice was a gravel whisper just like last night in the kitchen.

I had expected it to be awkward between us, but the way he said ‘good morning’ – without a hint of unease – erased that fear instantly.

“Morning,” I replied smiling. Steve returned that smile with his own, which made the sun rise over the ocean he held in his eyes.

We stayed like this, silently gazing at each other, cuddled up in the blankets until we were both fully awake. However, at one point we had to leave the comfort of my room to get ready for the mission. But not without coffee first.

As the two of us entered the kitchen everyone was already up and making themselves breakfast. Bruce was standing confused in front of the cabinet wondering as to why his mug was gone.

“I could have sworn it had been there yesterday. (Y/N), have you seen my coffee mug,” he asked as I walked in.

I felt my face growing hot and my eyes widen a little. I didn’t want to explain why I had been awake in the middle of the night destroying first my mug and then Bruce’s. But before I could find the courage to speak up, Steve jumped in.

“That’s my fault. I was making some warm milk because I couldn’t sleep, and when I reached for my cup in the cabinet, I accidentally bumped against yours and it fell and shattered. I’m really sorry, Bruce, I promise I’ll get you a new one.”

Bruce scowled a little but nodded in understanding. Steve washed the cup he had used the night before and handed it to his friend so he could get the coffee that would make him useful.

Afterwards, Steve gave me his favorite cup to keep using for my beloved black elixir leaving him mug-less. I wanted to protest, but Steve just shook his head and went to make himself some cereal. Gratefully, I walked over to pour myself some coffee.

Never before had a smile as bright as the one illuminating my features at that moment played on my face at the advent of a mission.  If our team mates were surprised by this, they kept it to themselves.

As I sat down at the counter, I glanced at Steve watching him chat with Bucky. I felt like the smile on my face wouldn’t disappear any time soon.

Outside of the battlefield I might not have any idea what my future held. But if the previous night had been any clue, for once I was excited for what lay ahead.

[kisskissbanggang]

Checking You Out

[<10 min. read, 2.3k Words -- Mall!Johnny x Mall!Ten x Female Reader -- Smut. -- MMF Threesome, Exhibitionism (sort of?), Some Dom/Sub Themes, Otherwise Pretty Vanilla]

[H&M Clerks Johnny & Ten based off these posts and for anon.]

You almost never went shopping after your shift, opting instead to go home and rest your tired feet. However, today you got off earlier than usual given your rare opening shift, and now you were much too alert and active to go home already. Ergo, retail therapy. You strolled into stores you usually never had time to go into, including the too trendy H&M downstairs clear on the other side of the mall. Your heels clicked on the shiny and scuffed linoleum as you browsed the racks, pausing to inspect a cute top when you heard a snicker behind you. You turned, raising an eyebrow as you tried to locate the culprit. Sure enough, behind you, a petite clerk was organizing a display and trying to hide his bemusement.

“Excuse me?”

He looked up, even more amused with your indignant stance with your hand on your hip. “Who, me? Nothing.” You tentatively turned back to continue shopping. “It’s just cute how you think that’d be cute on you.” He quietly quipped behind you. You reeled back around as a taller clerk interrupted him.

“Ten, don’t be a dick. Then people don’t buy things and you don’t make money. There’s a food chain here.” The mysterious stranger smoothly swooped in, unclipping Ten’s badge and putting it on a high shelf where he couldn’t reach it. Ten hopped for it a couple times, uselessly swiping his hands towards it before grabbing the shepherd hook and fishing it down.

“Shh,” Ten stage whispered, “She won’t know I’m flirting if you blow my cover.”

“By negging?” The taller clerk gawked exaggeratedly. “Ah, duh, I forgot people get all creamy when you say they dress badly.” You smirked gratefully at this cute stranger. “She is pretty, though.” He laughed, watching you blush.

“Who are you maniacs?” You gawped.

Your handsome flirt piped up, right on cue. “I’m Johnny. The gremlin is Ten. We’ve never seen you around before so you excited him.”

“Oh. I work at Michael Kors upstairs.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “Of course she does.” He stepped forward, taking your stunned hand and inspecting it. You mistakenly thought he was admiring your bracelet at first. “The shoes say mortgage but the nails say rent-a-center, the calling card of every Kors girl.” You snatched your hand back as he cackled. For some reason you were insanely fascinated by both of them, even Ten the literal monster. You wanted nothing more than to smother the smirk off his face.

Johnny had magicked behind you in this confrontation. It’s like they were circling prey. “We get off in half an hour, if you’re interested.”

“Do you get off very often?” You deadpanned.

“Five days a week, in fact.” He was quick. Your ankles turned to jelly for a second.

“'We?’”

Johnny nodded. “We’re best friends. We share everything.”

What the hell, you figured. It’d been a hot minute since you’d last been laid, and you couldn’t deny how charming Johnny was. Even Ten, in all his actual evil, was pretty beautiful himself. They told you where to meet them when they clocked off.

You found yourself in the cold employee lot on the bottom floor of the underground parking garage, huddled into yourself behind an old but pristine SUV. You couldn’t help but notice the backseats folded down and a few blankets and pillows laid out – a real cuddle bucket. Hearing a boisterous laugh, you turned to see your dates for the evening strutting over, Ten’s arm looped through Johnny’s.

“You came!”

“Not yet.” You quipped, relishing their cringe at the cheesy comeback.

“Our pickup rate is about 75% in a good month," Johnny lamented. "A good chunk of people think they’ll wind up dead in a proposition like this.”

“Worth it, I’d say.” Dropping any amount of pretense, you bravely took your first step towards Ten, who looked like like he’d been buzzing with desire since he came down here. He was suddenly bashful as you stroked his fringe away from his eyes, your fingertips tracing his jaw and giving him a chance to decline before you leaned in to kiss his lips.

The kiss was modest but passionate, rendering Ten speechless for a moment as he pulled away. He had let go of Johnny as some point and wrapped his arms around you instead. “I like her,” he laughed breathlessly to Johnny, “she’s fun.”

Johnny eagerly leaned in between yourself and Ten, capturing your lips in a kiss of his own and earning very different groans from both of you in the process as he scooped you out of Ten's hands. Ten huffed and reached into his canvas bag for the car keys to beep the backdoor open. Giving you a boost, Johnny earned a simultaneous moan and yelp out of you as he helped you hop back into the car. You playfully reached forward, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him in on top of you as you scooted your way back away from the door in an effort to let Ten climb in after you both. Johnny kissed along your jaw and throat, his lips following his fingers as he unbuttoned your blouse and let it fall open. Ten shrugged off his cardigan, folding it nicely and dropping it along with his bag into the front passenger seat before climbing between your legs. He leaned down, sucking a sweet bruise onto your waist as his slender fingers traveled under your skirt, coming away with your skimpy panties that had already started to grow damp.

"Ten, lick me," you panted. He almost looked offended.

"What makes you think I want--" Ten was interrupted by the sole of your high heel rubbing against his erection, surprising him into moaning loudly.

"Because your mouth says bitch but your moans say eager." You smiled evilly at Ten's shock before you turned your attention to Johnny, who had rolled to your side to watch. "Is he a sub?" You asked.

"Good observation. What gave it away?"

"Anyone that antagonistic either thrives off punishment or is woefully ignorant."

"Fair enough. Ten," Johnny playfully commanded, making him perk up in attention, "she said lick. Now lick." Ten huffed but nonetheless leaned down to nuzzle his lips against your impatient pussy. You wondered momentarily if you had been too forward, but were soon reassured by Ten's content moans as he swiped his tongue along your folds. An intruding pair of lips on your breasts distracted you from Ten hungrily eating your pussy, and you looked to see Johnny just as hungrily lick and nibble on your perked nipples, his hands busy freeing his cock from his jeans and stroking himself. The sight of his hard cock standing at attention immediately filled you with desperate desire and you pulled Johnny closer, maneuvering him up onto his knees near you so you could get your waiting mouth around him. Though he had been watching you intently, Johnny still let out a groan of near surprise at how deep and hard you decided to take him, his fingers softly tugging you off of him by a fistful of your hair so he could admire how pretty you looked when you got sloppy. With Johnny's hands tangled in your hair and your hands in Ten's, it was easy to keep this up until you felt your first orgasm fast approaching. Unable to get much warning yourself, you were barely able to alert Ten before gripping his hair tightly and grinding yourself hard against his tongue as you had a screaming orgasm, your whole body trembling as you clutched onto Johnny.

You were hardly out of the haze of your orgasm when you felt Johnny desperately manhandle you as gently as he could onto all fours. He fumbled with the condom in his fervor, nearly snapping it onto his length and cursing at the sting on his sensitive organ before rubbing it up against your recovering pussy. He sweetly ran his hands from your shoulders to your hip as he took his time easing you onto him, groaning as he felt your pussy's residual throbs around him. Once he was sure he was comfortable inside you and not about to break you, his grip on your hips noticeably tightened as he began to bounce you back against his cock. Ten watched, turned on and stroking himself before pulling you into a kiss. He rose, sitting back on his heels and wiping his mouth clean on the back of his hand before letting his cock spring free from his pants. You wrapped your fingers around his length, teasingly tugging him close by his hard-on and relishing the whine that escaped him before you leaned down and closed your lips around him. Ten and Johnny both groaned as you took them at the same time, using Johnny's thrusts to help you bob your mouth up and down on Ten's leaking cock. You snuck a look up at Ten from under your eyelashes and his lips ticked up into a smile. He stroked your hair out of your eyes, tucking a stray strand behind your ear before locking eyes with Johnny. "She feels so fucking good, doesn't she?" He breathed hard, trying with difficulty to fight off getting too aroused.

Johnny gripped you tighter, his other hand snaking into your hair to hold onto it. "Yeah she does," he smirked before erupting into more moans as your pussy rubbed a sweet spot on his cock. "Oh, shit," he groaned, "Not yet, I wasn't done wit -- oh, fuck --" Johnny's arms circled your waist, pulling you off Ten and into his arms as he pumped into you and filled the condom. His plush lips tenderly kissed your neck as he came down off his high and collapsed back onto his ass, dragging you down back against his chest. "Ten," he commanded gently again, "get down here. I want to watch you finish her off." He snapped the condom off and tossed it aside for now before making sure your pretty breasts were on full display again. His fingers traced down the gentle slope of your chest, playing with your nipples again as Ten rolled down his own condom and climbed in between your legs once more. He hungrily nibbled and bit into your neck as he pushed into you, his thrusts markedly more sensual and slow than Johnny's.

"He likes it when you talk him through it," Johnny whispered in your ear, before leaning forward and grabbing a hank of Ten's hair and pulling him forward for a kiss. You watched, somehow more aroused at watching their mouths wrestle, Ten's grateful and soft moans escaping from the stimulation. He nudged back, dipping back into your lips and whining as you snaked a hand up under his shirt to tease his nipples. Ten shuddered, his hips rolling firmly but gently against your core. Your free hand traveled down to rub your clit as you kept eye contact with Ten.

"That's it, baby, I love how you fuck me," you breathed, savoring how much whinier just talking made him. You continued multi-tasking, letting out a small yelp as Johnny's fingers walked down your tummy down to your core to replace yours. You rolled your hips up against his fingers and Ten's slender cock, moaning as you let both hands roam over his slim chest. "Your cock feels so sweet in me, Ten," you mewled, your fingertips brushing his alert nipples and making him shudder as he continued his steady pace. You were suddenly struck but the telltale ascent to climax. Johnny's fingers were really working a good rhythm with Ten's erection to send you into a second orgasm. Ten smiled almost affectionately as he noticed your eyes widen, your shallow breath growing even more ragged.

"Isn't that sweet," Ten groaned to Johnny, "I think she's going to cum for us again."

"She better. It's worth seeing twice. Make her cum, Ten."

"Make me cum, Ten." You echoed, clutching onto him. He sat up and reached to lift you by the ass, allowing you to grip around his hips as his cock angled right into your sweet spot. You cried out at the sensation, Johnny adjusting under you to make sure he could still reach your clit just fine and help you cum. "You're doing so good, baby," you cooed, "now cum with me." You rocked against Ten's thrusts, finally speeding up just enough to tip over the edge as he held tightly onto you, your own orgasm firmly squeezing his cock with your spasms.

You all finally took a second to breathe before untangling from each other. In turn, they each shared a sweet kiss with you as they helped you get dressed and gather your things. Johnny was first to climb out of the car, offering you his hand as you fought against your wobbly legs to safely exit. Ten reached for something in his bag before coming out to say goodbye, pressing the cute top you had been looking at back at the store into your hands.

"Awh," you teased, "a gift?"

"God, no," Ten laughed, "it's payment. You're a terrific escort. Rating you five stars on TripAdvisor."

You were about to get rude with Ten again just to push his buttons, but he surprised you with a friendly kiss to the cheek and a surprisingly cordial hug considering you all just fucked barely ten minutes before. Smitten, you couldn't help but give him a warm smile as you finished tapping your info into Johnny's phone. Johnny, ever the gentleman, gave you a kiss on the cheek as well, thanking you for a lovely evening and hoping you'll make this a regular enough thing. You traded final hugs for the night before waving goodbye, smiling contently as you crossed the lot to your own car. Now it was time to go home and rest.

[tenshibeth1]

Now and Forever- Part 1

Sess-Kag Week 2k18

Canon take-off. Sequel to Written In The Stars.

(Wow this is longer than I'd meant it to be! This story had a mind of its own... 0.0 I hope you all enjoy! ^,^ )

(Edit: It is so big I have to divide it into separate posts. Sorry for the inconvenience!)

Prompt:

Day 3 - Sudden, steal, soft, breeze

Dark clouds loomed overhead, the brisk breeze warning Kagome that the storm was coming. Her white and blue traditional garb whipped around her as she struggled to pick a few more herbs that hadn't been completely roasted by the harsh summer sun. "Just a little more," Kagome pleaded with the sky as she plucked a green root from beneath the soil. She had no such luck. Lightning streaked across the sky, thunder cracking right along behind it. As if it was a signal, a sudden heavy downpour began. She was drenched before she had even gotten to her feet. "Great!" Kagome groaned as she pulled her woven basket to her chest and darted under trees. They provided minor protection from the driving rain, but it was something, at least. However...she had wandered too far away from Edo to simply sprint back to the dry comfort of her hut. Vision blurred and feet slipping along slickening mud, she decided to search for shelter elsewhere. There were caves around there somewhere...she just had to find them.

Visibility really was terrible. She stumbled into numerous trees and thickets in her search for a safe place to crash. Twigs and leaves caught in her long tresses; limbs and thorns scratched and tore into her tender skin. And she was pretty sure she pulled something in her left ankle in one of her mud slides... Gasping for breath, ribs burning, Kagome slipped and grasped for what looked like a tree...but it was a dense thicket. She fell right through. "Shhhiii-uhhnn!" The basket went flying as she fell through...onto a hard, flat, rock. The pain registered first, a burning-stinging sensation in her limbs, her knees scraped up right along with her forearms. Kagome scrambled to get on all fours, searching out the basket and some of the fallen herbs. It was about that point that she'd found four escaped herbs that it dawned on her. She crashed onto a rough, rocky surface...ergo, she was very close to a cave. Grabbing one more herb, Kagome crawled her way back to the rocks, following the trail into the mouth of the cave. Kagome was finally given reprieve from the onslaught of water...

Sliding the basket farther in, she just laid out on the dry, sandy floor for a long moment, panting and trying to tune out the burning in her body from running and the stinging of her scratches and scrapes. She expanded her reiki, searching the cave for possible youkai threats or signs of life anywhere within. It was empty, thank the gods! Kagome slowly hefted herself up into a sitting position, wincing and hissing as she did. Man she was sore! And getting chilled. The weather was cooling off rapidly. While it wasn't cold by any definition, Kagome was soaked to the bone and the whipping wind did nothing to ease the coolness from her flesh. Goosebumps raised and she cursed as she began to tremble. She had to take off her sopping wet clothes. Peering outside, she could only see hints of green and brown amid the storm. Lightning lit the sky as thunder rumbled behind it, but the visibility wasn't any better. If she couldn't see out, no one could probably see in, either. She hoped. With reluctance, Kagome untied the ties of her hakama and shimmied out of them. Her left ankle hit the rocky ground and pain flooded in.

"Oowwww...geeeeeeez," she groaned, freeing her legs from the fabric. Parting her white kimono and nagajuban, Kagome slid her hands along her smooth left leg to her very obviously swollen ankle. "Great...that's all I needed...," She sighed. But there wasn't much she could do for it. The herbs she'd managed to pick weren't anything she could use for swelling. Untying her kimono, Kagome shed both it and the nagajuban. She used the tie, still soaked and cool, to wrap around her ankle. Maybe the coolness would help reduce the swelling before she was able to get out. Spreading her clothes out on the floor to dry, she wrung out her waist-length locks before crawling around on hands and knees in the dark- carefully keeping her ankle off the ground. She felt out the floor as she went, finding a nook in the side of the cave. It wasn't very big...maybe with enough room for two people to squeeze in. But it was out of the way of the chilling wind. Kagome shuffled in and situated herself with her back to the wall, legs drawn to her chest. The storm had only just begun...and it looked like it might rage on for a while. With another sigh, she laid her head down on top of her knees and erected a small barrier that encompassed the cave. And now...the wait...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lord Sesshoumaru...you're soaked," Sango greeted the daiyoukai at the door of her hut and ushered him in, handing him a length of cloth to dry off with all the while. He inclined his head in thanks.

"Where is the miko?" He asked instead of greeting them, merely holding the cloth in hand as the water-logged Inu stood near to the door. He was entirely uncomfortable being as wet as he was, dressed. The clothes stuck to his skin right along with his silver strands of hair. But he did nothing to convey his discomfort. Sango and Miroku's very much dry kids were playing cheerily by the fire.

"She went out hours ago to gather herbs...," Sango informed with a worried nibble to her lip. "The storm started in, and there's been no trace of her..."

"How long has it been since the storm began?" His eyes narrowed perceptibly.

"A couple of hours, maybe...Miroku went out to see if he could find her," Sango replied, her every pore dripping with worry. And she was right to be. Any human in this weather would not be well-off...not to mention the possibility of illness or incident of either the youkai sort or that of nature. Sesshoumaru was not happy. "We hoped maybe she had found-!" She was interrupted by a huff and a gasp as Miroku staggered in and fell to his knees as he panted softly. "Miroku!" Sango was at his side in the blink of an eye, hand on his shoulder. Sesshoumaru blinked at the monk. The rain was so droning that he hadn't even heard the ningen coming... All of his senses were dulled by that damned water falling from the heavens. This was exactly why he hated rain...

"I'm...alright," Miroku panted, water quickly pooling around him as he looked up at Sango with a tired but loving smile.

"You didn't find the miko," Sesshoumaru spoke with his usual stoic mask, only his tone betraying his disappointment.

"It's not...that I didn't...," Miroku shook his head, gazing up at the daiyoukai as his amber eyes narrowed just a bit more. Miroku's black hair clung to his face, water droplets streaming down like tears. His face was etched with regret. "I couldn't...reach her. She was too far out...and with the weather as it is...the paths are hazardous. Too much for humans...I know my limitations... But, she's holed up in the North-West somewhere... There's some small mountains there, and I hope...she found shelter in them... I followed the feel of her reiki for a while- that's how I found...out which direction she went. Kagome is staying stationary somewhere in that general direction...and that is all I can say for certain."

"...You did well," Sesshoumaru praised, dropping the cloth Sango had given him onto the drenched monk. Miroku looked up at him in wide-eyed shock. Sesshoumaru wasn't one to give compliments very often. Only when they were well-deserved. And this was one of the rare few times. Because the monk had useful information to go on. If Sesshoumaru had been searching for Kagome in this weather with his youki and she wasn't using her reiki...it was similar to trying to find a star behind dense clouds. Murky at best with unfavorable results. But she was using her reiki...so her light would penetrate said metaphorical clouds. He could find her. The terrain was a bother, but it wasn't as much of a problem for him as it was for humans. Without a word, Sesshoumaru turned and began walking out of the hut.

"W-wait!" Sango called after him. Sesshoumaru paused. "Where are you going?!"

"To retrieve the miko," he replied simply. Before more could be said or asked, Sesshoumaru was speeding out of the hut and into the downpour. Instead of using his other senses...which were completely useless to him at the moment, he opened up his youki and spread it out as he started North-West. At first he couldn't feel her reiki. And he was partially distracted by the rain. Going at his normal speed- which far exceeded Inuyasha's- in the driving rain and harsh winds gave him wind burn. Nasty red splotches that burned and stung his flesh enough to make his fingers curl. It would be gone within moments of stopping somewhere, but it was an unneeded annoyance nonetheless. It almost kept him from recognizing the weak pulse of Kagome's reiki. He did stop then, after about half an hour of relentless searching. The rain was an annoyance in so many ways...but he closed his eyes and focused passed the cold water to the weakening reiki. His youki poured out like a tidal wave, searching out what should have been a conflicting energy, and it washed over the reiki...an aura so pure and refreshing that it could only be the miko's. Her power was ebbing away...she was weakening. Was she being attacked? Was she wounded? Knocked unconscious? In some sort of predicament? He couldn't tell. The only thing he knew for sure, besides her far-off location, was that there were no youkai within several meters of her. Strange, but he wasn't complaining. His golden eyes opened, flaming with ambition and purpose. "I am coming....Kagome." With an urgency he felt down deep in his bones, Sesshoumaru began sprinting in her direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End Part 1

[poly-carbon-based-lifeform]

Inspiration Chapter Two: “The Traveler”

The New Sun Fair occurred in Lacerta every year on the summer solstice.  The tradition had begun nearly two hundred years ago by royal decree as a way of giving thanks to the Old Sun King for creating humanity.  Since the Old God no longer lived, the people could not thank him directly, so instead they gave thanks by living their lives to the fullest, accentuated by the Fair.

Nicolle pressed west in the direction he’d last seen the old traveler walking, but in the crowd it was easy to lose someone, especially when one is distracted by beer,  miniature ships swinging from thick ropes, axe-throwing contests, and turkey legs that vendors are trying to sell for seven moons or more.  Just charge a sun and let it be that simple, Nicolle thought, and even though the turkey legs were vastly overpriced, crowds of people still lined up to buy them.

Nicolle rolled his eyes, and he thanked Canopus he did because they landed directly on the traveler, who seemed to be on a lightly trodden path out of the fair and towards a small copse of trees bordering the village of Beconnue.  Nicolle tried to run over to reach him, but the traveler ventured beyond the trees before he could get there.

Nicolle’s run slowed to a jog, then a walk, then a stop just beyond the boundary of the woods.  He glanced over his shoulder at the festivities, then back at the trees.  The small forest couldn’t be more than a mile in diameter.  Did that count as a forest?  Nicolle tried to distract himself by thinking about the definition of a forest and whether this qualified, but everytime he thought the word “forest” his mind would refocus on the trees before him and his nerves would frazzle again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pressing a hand against his diaphragm and feeling it expand and shrink again as he breathed.  He attempted to steel himself; it had been over a decade since he’d entered any forest, but this one was certainly safe.  He opened his eyes, and started cautiously walking into the woods, muttering to himself, “She stood on the balcony… inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping… and amicably welcoming him in…”

He walked through the broadly spaced trees until he saw a different wooden barrier: a circular structure, walled with logs pointed at the top.  There was one opening, at which a pair of men with swords- not official city guards like at the fair- stopped a small line of men from entering.  These thugs searched each individual, patting them down before letting them inside.  Nicolle didn’t see the traveler.

He looked around.  Whatever was going on here, the guards didn’t know about it, and that’s probably how the people here liked it.  He ducked behind a tree to analyze the situation.  He’d seen a dirty old man who didn’t like his show, a traveler, wander into the woods where there was some illicit business going on.  The fair is a quarter mile back, and this place is concealed by woods, ergo the only people here were people who knew what was going on already.  Except Nicolle, who’d followed someone else here.  So, the traveler knew what was going on here… Nicolle still didn’t have enough information to go on.  It probably wasn’t gambling or prostitution, they probably wouldn’t let a dirty old man ruin the aesthetic.  So something less… refined?  There was lots of shouting coming from inside.  An illegal boxing match, or something like that?  Were sport fights illegal in Lacerta?  Nicolle couldn’t remember.

Nicolle needed to get inside.  But also, he needed the sword on his back to be ready, in case something really bad was going on.  In order to do that, he needed to work a little magic.  

Hoping the managers of the establishment didn’t have some kind of headcount system or a really good eye for faces, Nicolle took a deep breath, still paranoid of his surroundings.  In a way, he felt it might feel more relaxing to be surrounded by whatever disgusting, dirty men were inside those walls than out here in the open woods.  “By the light of the New Moon, let me pass unseen,” he whispered, letting his heart feel his breath with magic as he let the air escape his lungs.  He looked down: nothing.  Perfect.  He was invisible.

Nicolle slipped past the thugs at the entrance.  He found there was only a few feet of grassy hallway before a rudimentary wooden ramp started to angle upwards.  As he walked carefully up the creaking ramp, he found the source of the shouting.  Dozens of men had crowded around a second, shorter circular wall of logs that rose to about waist-height beyond the raised floor that surrounded it.

Why are we so high up for an arena that’s still on ground floor?  Nicolle wondered, taking special care not to bump into anyone and give away his position.  There was no safe place to resume visibility, so he hoped that whatever happened would happen before the spell wore off.  Is it just for a better vantage point?

Nicolle peered over the edge.  The arena seemed to have its floor covered with sand, and there were small sections of it where blood had splattered.  A single wide door was on the other side, under a red tapestry.  He started to have a very bad feeling, just as a man spoke up on the other side of the arena, standing over the tapestry.

“Alright, you motherfuckers!” the bald man with the goatee and no shirt shouted into a conical tube that amplified his voice just enough for the crowd to pay attention.  He was frighteningly strong.  Could lift an ox, Nicolle thought.  “You’ve waited long enough, and I think just about everybody who’s gonna show up already showed up!”

Nicolle suddenly realized he’d forgotten to look for the traveler.  He scanned the crowd, but though the floor space between the walls was only about five feet wide, he didn’t see his old man anywhere.

“Let’s get this shit started!”  The crowd cheered, and the door opened.  A wooden cart with wide wheels was pushed through the door out into the center of the arena by six strong men.  It was a flat platform, on top of which sat an iron cage where a black bear was held captive.  Nicolle’s heart sank.  He immediately knew where this was going.

The bear had a metal collar attached to its neck, and that collar was attached to a long, thick chain that hung out of the front of the cage between the gate and bars of one side.  A man grabbed the chain while another man grabbed an iron spike and a large hammer, and they carried it all to the wall underneath the tapestry.  One man placed the end of the chain against the wall while the other man held up the spike and nailed the chain in place with the hammer.  They and three other men left the arena while one last man pulled out a key and placed it in the lock of the cage.  He nodded up at the announcer, unlocked the cage, and then ran out the door which was closed behind him as the bear crept out into the sand.

“You know the drill, one of you lucky sons of bitches is gonna get to tame this beast or die trying!  Spear, sword, or mace, your choice!  And you get a fight a veritable monster of the Old Forest!”

The crowd cheered the prospect of bloody combat and jeered at the bear, shouting offensive names at it in a ridiculous attempt to insult an animal with no concept of what these Etullian words meant.  Nevertheless, the bear was angry.

“And this hour’s competitor is…” it appeared that someone passed him a note with a name on it.  “Mathieu du Becconue!  A fucking rhyming native!”

Nicolle and many others watched through the cheering crowd as a man seemed to jump for joy.  He was balding, a shining head ringing by the bare minimum amount of hair to avoid being flat out “bald,” with a much less flattering figure than the announcer’s, and he pushed through the crowd to head for the exit.

“While we wait for Matty to get all prepared- hey, you!”

The crowd’s attention was pulled back to the arena, and Nicolle’s eyes invisibly widened when he saw the dirty traveler standing in the sand opposite the bear.  He had lost most of his gear except for the sack slung over his left shoulder and the walking stick in his right hand.  Nicolle couldn’t see his face from here.

“Someone get that guy out of the arena!” the announcer shouted before placing his bullhorn back to his lips.  “Hey, bearfucker!  You can wait your god-damned turn like everybody else!”

The traveler slumped his sack off of his shoulder and onto the sand.  He knelt and began rummaging through it.  He pulled out a small tuft of brown fur and a sprig of some berry plant.  Holly, maybe?  He pressed them together and seemed to pray over them.  The noise of the crowd was lost on this man- the audience, the announcer’s anger, the half-full bottles of beer being thrown from the balcony.  They all meant nothing to this man.  Nicolle watched in bemusement as this man simply ignored the audience perspective and proceeded with some unfathomable task.  

He set the mismatched objects back into the sack and stood up, raising the walking stick off of the ground and letting it go slack by his side as he walked towards the bear.

“Seriously you unwashed mass of shit!” the announcer frothed at the mouth.  “We have rules!  You will follow the rules, or you can die right here!”

That caught the traveler’s attention, who raised his head slightly to give an irritated glance at the announcer, but never once stopped walking towards the bear.  Soon he was just out of range of the animal’s chain, made clear by its lunge at him, barely restrained by the radius as a claw narrowly missed the man’s nose, at which point he stopped moving.  Nicolle couldn’t see the man’s face, but he made slight gesticulations similar to those made during conversations.  He was… talking to the bear?

Suddenly, four men barged through the doorway, two of which were the thugs from the entrance, each holding a metal club.  Nicolle’s hand instinctively moved to the short sword sheathed on his back.  His eyes and mind darted in various directions.  The door was closed when the thugs entered.

The four men moved to encircle the traveler, keeping a wide berth between them at first, and then closing in slowly.  Before they got very close, the traveler moved closer to the bear.  The four men flinched, raising their weapons to ready themselves for a fight.  Perhaps they thought the bear might become agitated, but instead it remained calm.  Complacent.  Even as the traveler grabbed onto its left side and pulled himself up.  The man was now riding the bear.

Nicolle didn’t understand what was going on.  It seemed that neither did the brutes who had come to beat down the traveler.  One of them didn’t care; a man on the far left stepped forward and raised his club to swing at the bear’s face.

The traveler raised his walking stick into the sky.

The shouts were as immediate as the assault.  All around Nicolle, sprouting from the wood that had been used to construct this arena, massive roots grew and branched like trees.  Roots also burst from under the sand in the arena itself, each root grabbing or slamming into a nearby thug or patron.  Nicolle didn’t have time to watch what was happening in the arena as he was now busy trying to dodge the thicket of roots and vines strangling and piercing the flesh of the people around him as he tried to push back towards the exit.  A body thudded on the floor in front of him, a wooden vine wrapped around his throat, his eyes blank and horrified and dead.

Nicolle started hyperventilating as he ran, and he could just barely see his transparent hands by the time he was out.  He was losing focus, his vision blurring, his magic fading.  

He became totally visible when he heard a SNAP! Of wood breaking, and he turned to see that the roots had wrapped around the outside of the arena as well, breaking down the very structure they’d been grown from.  A log had broken in half and was starting to fall towards Nicolle, who barely had time to jump out of the way and roll off to the side.

The forest was quiet.  Nicolle rolled onto his back, trying to catch his breath, until out of the corner of his eye he saw a man casually riding away on the back of a black bear.