#enfj user manual

[kaalandra]

Yeah, I'm an ENFJ dating a ENTJ, who the fuck am I supposed to turn to if they malfunction?

Myself? Yeah... Probably...

Your ENTJ Unit User Survival Guide and Manual

Thanks to @intpboard for letting me do this :)

CONGRATULATIONS!

An ENTJ unit has been bestowed upon you. This ENTJ comprehensive user survival guide and manual will detail every necessary step in order to manage and care for your ENTJ (if they let you). Please return non-compliant models and enter a request for a replacement with our ENFJ customer service officer.

Your ENTJ unit will come with the following accessories:

Two (2) everyday outfits (business casual).

Three (3) suits (Jet Black, Charcoal Grey, Navy Blue)/dresses (Jet Black, Electric Blue, Blood Red) for more formal events.

Three (3) pairs of shoes (daily wear, comfort and formal events)

Two (2) watches (daily wear and formal events)

One (1) mobile device which constantly receives alerts and messages.

One (1) personal brooding corner for world domination planning space.

One (1) Take ChargeTM Real World Correction SystemTM.

One (1) weapons system to encourage compliance.

One (1) locked Strongbox of FeelsTM. Might arrive damaged. Not covered under our return policy. Fiddle at your own risk.

One (1) passcode to locked Strongbox of FeelsTM. ENTJ units would respond aggressively (with Excessive ForceTM) if forced to reveal passcode. Passcodes will only be revealed if ENTJ units are convinced of understanding and acceptance, but can be changed without notice if ENTJ units no longer deem passcode holders to be Premium Users.

One (1) locked caring and protectiveness module for Premium Users.

One (1) personal secretary to schedule your ENTJ unit’s time.

One (1) “The 48 Laws of Power” book.

Software:

Your ENTJ unit comes pre-programmed with the following traits:

Te: Your ENTJ will utilise its Take ChargeTM Real World Correction SystemTM to select and act on the most efficient and impactful route. Your ENTJ is highly capable of enforcing and pushing for the completion of tasks.

Ni: Your ENTJ unit’s brooding side stems from Ni, where it is used to stimulate direction for its Te. This provides your ENTJ unit with the drive to reach towards a better future (with your ENTJ unit as the global hegemon of course).

Se: Your ENTJ unit has the ability to quickly receive and collate information from the environment and physical results of their actions. This grounds your ENTJ in reality, allowing for quick adjustments to action plans.

Fi: Your ENTJ unit’s true drive is derived from its Fi. This provides personal morality and values to direct your ENTJ unit’s deepest desires and goals. However, it is often under-utilised and partially broken, so it is tucked away in your ENTJ unit’s Strongbox of FeelsTM.

Getting Started:

Fast boot (WARNING: This booting of your ENTJ unit would also trigger Excessive ForceTM )

Accuse your ENTJ unit (unfairly so) of being incapable/other unique triggers (model specific).

Proceed to engage in intellectual debate or physical exchange.

Normal booting

Provide your ENTJ unit with a to-do list.

Engage your ENTJ unit with potential ways to approach the tasks.

Wait for a short while for Quick StartupTM to engage.

Trouble shooting inability to boot

Provide your ENTJ unit with its brooding corner for auto-reset of functioning capability.

Cuddle your ENTJ unit (For Premium Users only).

Your ENTJ unit should now be booted up and ready to go!

Modes:

Task master: (Default) This is the default setting for your ENTJ unit, where it would push for the completion of tasks and demand compliance on common goals and plans.

Brooding nerd/geek: (Default): The secondary default setting for your ENTJ unit. Only activated when there is no one around your ENTJ unit to bother/engage it. Allows your ENTJ unit to formulate its devious plans.

Chilling: (Default): The secondary default setting for your ENTJ unit. Only activated when your ENTJ unit is safe and does not have to take up too much responsibility.

Take ChargeTM : Activated when there is an emergency and quick maneuvering as well as changes to the game plan must be made. ENTJ unit will demand immediate unquestioning compliance while taking up all responsibility to resolve the situation.

Binging party animal: Activated only when your ENTJ unit is presented with the opportunity to enjoy excessive material enjoyment without the need to take responsibility. Alternative activation pathway includes high continuous stress, which pushes your ENTJ unit to narcotise itself.

Shutting down: Activated when your ENTJ unit is too stressed out and cannot handle its Fi well. Characterised by self-isolation, intense self-loathing and general withdrawal from its usual extensive socialising.

Unleashing Strongbox of FeelsTM: (open alpha)

WARNING: POTENTIAL INSTABILITY OF ENTJ UNIT

Dark Knight: Activated when someone important to them/a weak underdog is unfairly treated, utilising its caring and protectiveness module. Will simultaneously activate Excessive ForceTM for your ENTJ unit to protect its target.

Eruption of Fi: Activated when your ENTJ unit is unable to contain Fi any further. Often characterised by initial ranting, self-isolation and quiet seething before your ENTJ unit transforms into Satan.

Sharing of Fi: (Premium Users only) Activated when your ENTJ unit values you, would like to share its insufficient and often partially broken Fi with you and feels safe sharing (will not be manipulated). Your ENTJ unit might require your help to put away/patch its Fi.

Relationships with other Units:

Faulty ENTJ Unit: You agree with me? = Good you should

                             You disagree with me? = BulldozeTM

Functioning ENTJ Unit:

NT: Generally enjoyable to be around. NTJs are pretty reliable to work with and your ENTJ unit often find them good working partners. NTPs are often a lot less reliable, but your ENTJ unit value their creative contributions if they work out to be the better solution.

NF: Generally quite odd to your ENTJ unit, which often intrigues them to interact more with NFs. Can have the potential to hit off quite well, especially for NFPs.

SJ: The few who can rival your ENTJ unit in terms of sheer stubbornness. However, they are often highly valued for their reliability, loyalty and work ethic. While some SJs can hold your ENTJ unit back (which will annoy them), they also help to provide an alternative point of view in reviewing your ENTJ unit’s game plan that can prevent the repeat of mistakes.

SP: Viewed as one of the chillest that your ENTJ unit interacts with. It’s pretty much hit and miss with this one.

Sustenance:

Your ENTJ unit would feed itself when it is functioning. However, high stress can destabilise your ENTJ unit’s feeding module, resulting in either over consumption due to binging, or under consumption due to the presence of more pressing events/worry. Your ENTJ unit generally appreciates gifts of good food.

Grooming:

Your ENTJ unit generally displays itself presentably. It might offer to help with your grooming if it deems you incapable of dressing presentably.

Personal hygiene is also taken care of by your ENTJ unit because it is necessary for task completion efficiency.

Sleeping:

Your ENTJ unit will only sleep when the necessary tasks are accomplished/when it is more efficient to sleep and work when refreshed.

FAQ:

My ENTJ unit has suddenly hid away from humans, what do I do?

Let your ENTJ unit brood away in its corner. Offer help and support to your ENTJ unit, but don’t force them to take it.

My ENTJ unit is malfunctioning and is threatening to destroy the world, what should I do?

Quickly deactivate your ENTJ unit and approach our friendly ENFJ customer service officer for a replacement. Or fight it if you dare.

My ENTJ unit just shared its world domination plans with me, what do I even do??????

Congratulations! Your ENTJ unit now trusts you greatly and deems you worthy of being a Premium User. Be supportive of its plans, but call out any mistakes in those action plans so that your ENTJ unit can achieve greatest efficiency (functioning ENTJ units will value your contributions).

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on the acquisition of your new ENTJ unit.

[non-sequitura]

MBTI User Manuals

(Describes every type as some type of software and provides info on how to engage with them)

INTJ: https://naughty-nanny.tumblr.com/post/138796463602/your-intj-unit-user-survival-guide-and-manual

INTP (sadly not as funny as the others): https://thoughtcatalog.com/marie-kim/2016/06/your-intp-unit-user-guide-and-manual/

Edit - another more stylistically funny one: https://www.reddit.com/r/INTP/comments/cgkw5c/intp_care_and_handling_guide/

ENTJ: https://www.reddit.com/r/entj/comments/cakbqe/your_entj_unit_user_survival_guide_and_manual/

ENTP: https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/cahglf/your_entp_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/ Secondary ENTP (not as good imo): https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/68dmms/the_official_entp_user_manual/

INFJ (inaccurate except for the preferring tea over coffee in my opinion): https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/cahkt1/your_infj_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

INFP: https://www.reddit.com/r/infp/comments/acq7wo/how_to_care_for_your_infp/

ENFJ: https://www.reddit.com/r/enfj/comments/ca3nsr/your_enfj_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ENFP: https://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-brady-wagner/2016/05/your-enfp-care-and-handling-user-guide-and-manual/

ISTJ: https://www.reddit.com/r/ISTJ/comments/8w632i/your_istj_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ISFJ: https://www.reddit.com/r/isfj/comments/al7ay4/isfj_handling_care_and_manual/

ESTJ: https://www.reddit.com/r/ESTJ/comments/capapf/your_estj_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ESFJ: https://bluebelle65.tumblr.com/post/143104404993/the-esfj-care-manual

ISTP: https://www.reddit.com/r/istp/comments/4oju6q/your_istp_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ISFP: https://www.reddit.com/r/isfp/comments/a59v0o/isfp_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ESTP (a s***post): https://www.reddit.com/r/estp/comments/hao69l/estp_caring_manual_estp_edition/

Normal one: https://www.reddit.com/r/estp/comments/mh0vu0/your_estp_care_and_handling_user_guide_and_manual/

ESFP: Hasn’t been created yet apparently.

Generic XXXX: https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyMBTI/comments/i0h9i2/your_xxxx_care_and_handling_guide/

-2/27/21

[alltypesofmbti]

Your INFP ‘Companion’ unit User Guide and Manual

Your INFP ‘Companion’ unit User Guide and Manual

This manual sanctioned by and concept credit to @intpboard ;)

CONGRATULATIONS! Somehow you have found a wandering and bewildered INFP. Evidently they have offered you this manual after hearing you support Sherlock and their OTP. Take a moment to feel good about yourself, this is an important step in your relationship.

Your INFP companion will come with the following accessories: Three (3) diaries (CAUTION: Perusal unadvised. Touch these at your own risk) Three (3) everyday outfits Two (2) indie outfits Two (2) Tumblr blogs One (1) laptop One (1) mobile device One (1) pair of custom-built earphones One (1) unique tea mug One (1) cat

Software: You INFP comes programmed with the following traits: Fi: Your INFP is a special snowflake. They will have invisible feels, but keep an eye out for the cute smile. And they probably really do Know that feeling. Ne: Your INFP is weird and likes ambiguous things. May meme occasionally. Si: Your INFP likes to store up good memories and database feelings like buried treasure for that novel they’re writing. Te: Although it is their inferior function, your INFP can be executive and use cold hard logic to be remarkably strong and creative. They may need help adapting to the harsh outside world. May secretly hate everything (including themselves) if unhealthy.

Getting Started: To set up your INFP companion: 1. Fill mug with tea and place INFP in close proximity of cat and a sunset and leave to bask until heart is pleasantly warm. 2. Sync with Tumblr (this should happen automatically through a deep emotional connection inherent in all INFPs, much like Bluetooth). 3. Allow thirty (30) minutes of continuous data exchange. 4. Sit beside them for thirty (30) minutes in silence as Human Presence Conditioning. 5. Get up. If your INFP moves to follow, they have successfully activated and synced with you. If not, repeat Step 4 with the cat.

Modes: Quiet (default) - quiet cinnamon roll. May stare off into space, usually either very sweet or very sarcastic, depending on your model. May be a socially awkward if brand new. Be careful not to forget about or leave behind your INFP when it is in this mode. Talkative - frequent activation of this mode usually correlates with quick Human Presence Conditioning. Explore topics until you find which ones activate this mode, you may be surprised. Feels - may need unusual amount of solitude with all accessories in easy access. Be receptive of feels if expressed, to avoid software crashing. Crazy/happy - have fun, roll with it, but beware of hazard unwariness. Unhealthy/shadow (locked) - only activated under extreme stress. May burn everything in its path, or burn self in solitude.

Relationships with other units: NFs: Your INFP’s homey home. May feel threatened or devalued by INFJ units due to social constructs, but usually end up getting along. SPs: Interesting territory for your INFP. May find Se overwhelming, but generally find them intriguing, perhaps from a distance. NTs: May or may not get along, if they do, have very interesting discussions, good for software conditioning. May be cut by perceived coldness if new. SJs: Can be very fun. INFP gets to feel like an educator in Ne, and may learn from high Si if healthy. Some of these usually necessary for grounding your INFP during lightning storms.

Feeding: Your INFP may be constantly snacking. A ‘regular’ diet is not strictly necessary, but sneak some vitamins into their packet and fetish foods occasionally.

Grooming: Some INFP units require more grooming than others. If your INFP excessively self-grooms, it is probably not just a phase (see Bjork). You have little to no control over this.

Sleeping: Your INFP companion unit runs the risk of becoming nocturnal. Discover the cause for this - usually either angst or creativity. If the former, see Troubleshooting (p. 9). If the latter, arrange bedside outlets - NOT tumblr.

Frequently Asked Questions: Why does my INFP procrastinate so much? Unlike INTPs, INFP units have Te software, however it is in its beta version upon unit activation and the full version can be installed after some conditioning. Engaging them in tasks they have a personal investment in and using Divide and Conquer applications may aide effectiveness.

Why is my INFP so sensitive to criticism/so defensive/so salty? See above question (Te software). INFP units also have an Identity Crisis application that is hosted by Fi, activated by ‘negative’ external stimulus and executed by Te. With the full version of Te, this application can lead to powerful self-transformation. Sensitivity should decrease with conditioning, however positive affirmation will help stabilize application launch.

Help! My INFP unit is stuck in Unhealthy / Shadow mode! There are three main manifestations of unhealthy mode. If in shadow functions, an ENFJ may be helpful. If in the grip of Te, they may need help coming to terms with reality. Often fire and brimstone anger and ‘just do it’ mentality can help pull your INFP out of apathy long enough to grow healthier. If in an Fi-Si loop, thrust you INFP into a new situation, or several. In any case, getting your INFP to communicate their problems to other units (other NFs are usually best) will be highly beneficial, although your INFP’s Fi may resist initially.

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on acquiring your new INFP unit! Have fun!

(via intpboard)

[adeforsyer]

Just Pinned to enfj: Your ENFJ Care and Handling User Guide and Manual http://ift.tt/2sTaEif