#ellie's bullshit

[persistent-peach]

Porco: 1 star, too praise focused, will complain about you being on your phone while she's on hers

Y/N: too pRAISE FOCUSED BITCH DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT

Porco: YOU'RE THE ONE GETTING THE PRAISE, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Y/N: then don't do it anymore???

Porco: not like I'm gonna stop, you beautiful idiot

Y/N: go away

Porco: why would i do that, you stupid cutie?

Y/N: stop

Porco: you know you're the prettiest clown I know, right

Y/N: blocked

[dialyce]

I'm dying in my media class send help

[motivatemix]

I don't even follow my own culture 

how can I tell people to follow theirs 

[persistent-peach]

apparently my friends are banning me from flirting with the cute guy at my new workplace

[persistent-peach]

porco and y/n being best friends but they're way too comfortable with each other to be just friends and everyone just assumes they're married but they're both like wE'rE jUsT fRiEnDs? but they live together and pieck already called dibs on being the godmother of their future children

[persistent-peach]

Y/N: my friend is going to start trying for a baby

Porco: so she's basically telling you they're gonna go raw exclusively

Y/N: ......don't make it nasty

Porco: that's what it means so

Y/N: why can't you just be happy for them?

Porco: i'm happy they get to save money on condoms!

[persistent-peach]

not me posting the shitty convos i have with my friend on here as chats between fwb!Porco & y/n 🙃

[persistent-peach]

Porco: are you up?

Y/N:

Porco: you know you'll be late for work if you're actually sleeping rn

Y/N:

Porco: are you still mad at me bc i didn't come over last night?

Y/N:

Porco: fine

Y/N:

Porco: there's some crazy drama going on at work rn but ig you don't wanna hear about it

Y/N: I'M UP TELL ME

[persistent-peach]

Y/N: would you pay to see my boobs?

Porco: why would i pay to see your boobs when i can see them for free?

Y/N: so you don't like my boobs?

Porco: of course i fucking do

Y/N: you do?

Porco: YES

Y/N: are you sure?

Porco: i don't know how to break it to you

Porco: but you do realise we've been having sex for a year now right

[persistent-peach]

i've had this idea of a Jean fic based off of Netflix's Love Is Blind

this could either turn into a massive multi chapter fic or a very rushed one shot

6k in and i haven't even brushed the surface

[persistent-peach]

Me, in the middle of writing a neighbours au with jean: yes this some quality shit

Me, after having a dirty dream: buT WHAT IF PORCO WERE THE CEO OF A COMPANY AND READER IS HIS ASSISTANT

[persistent-peach]

wdym i can't spend my last 3 weeks working for this company writing fanfiction at work

[persistent-peach]

no one:

me: maybe i should introduce myself on tumblr

me: do people still do that?

absolutely no one:

me: well BACK IN MY DAY

In conclusion, hi hello hi! I'm Ellie and I'm a dumbass who refused to write anything for nearly two years until SOMEONE decided to drag me back to this hellsite and unleash my stupidity on innocent bystanders.

LOOK, MUM, I'M A WRITER!

That's a fucking lie. Expect a lot of curses and self-deprecating jokes. We're here for a fun time, not a long time, babes! I'd say enjoy, but I'll write something and then refuse to admit I've ever written that so don't expect me to remember what I wrote in my fever dreams. Love you all! ❤🌻

[persistent-peach]

discussing fic ideas and this is me calling @bruhstories out