#ellie would make all kinds of jokes and get kicked off 3 times every 2 weeks

[abbysfrenchbraid]

Daring - Chapter 2

This is part two of my Abby Mordern!Au, you can read Chapter 1 here.

Masterlist

Abby and the reader have dinner at Abby's place. There is music playing and referenced, so I'd recommend you listen to this playlist with all the songs playing in order as soon as the date night begins. About 10k words.

CW for alcohol consumption, mention of death/murder, mention of dubious consent (and possibly terrible grammar. It's 10pm, I just finished this, I don't have a proofreader atm)

Thyme and Tree Bark

“Don’t mess this up, airhead. Take care!”

“Yeah, yeah. Bye, idiot!”

You closed the door behind Mark as he vanished down the stairs and headed straight for your bed. Though you were less wobbly on your feet after devouring half of a perfectly cheesy pizza with just the right amount of jalapenos, it had thrown you straight into a food coma. Your angel of a brother had come over at noon with two chilled cans of coke and a large pizza from your favorite Italian place and not even ripped open the curtains as he usually did. Instead, he had thrown himself on the bed right next to you, handed you a slice, and demanded you start talking.

Of course, he already knew about Abby and your embarrassing shyness when it came to the buff blonde, so he was extremely proud of the progress you had made with your excruciating crush. You both agreed that Abby had definitely invited you over for a date this week - alone, without Manny there - and that it had to mean she was interested, too. He had laughed about the little bar stint when Abby had shut down your flirt with the hot waitress in an instant and was now 100% sure this was going to go great. As long as you kept it together and didn’t ruin everything. As you often did. This needed some tactical planning.

Mouths full of cheesy delight and laughing at each other’s stupid ideas, you and your brother had come up with a fairly foolproof plan. You would text Abby in 1-2 days, keeping it cool and asking when you should come over. Then, you would suggest making cocktails at home, already granting a fun activity and something to loosen the mood. You would keep it casual and bring over some nice liquor and maybe a bag of chips, perfect for watching a movie. You’d try to keep the conversation casual and try to speak mostly about Abby, asking lots of questions so you didn’t get tangled up in speaking about yourself. If you steered the conversation toward movies, you could watch something exciting and maybe even scary together so you could cuddle up on the couch together. And well, if you got that far, things would probably fall into place naturally. Foolproof. Y/N-proof.

You groaned as you reached over to grab your phone from your nightstand. You had a message from your mom asking if you wanted to come over for dinner next weekend and an email from your professor who wanted to submit your last essay to some kind of grant application. You’d have to answer her later, your head still felt like it was filled with cotton. Instead, you sent Leah a message.

-Hey, you still alive? There’s leftover pizza and coke over here.

Five seconds later, there was a delighted squeal at the other side of the wall and you heard the click of your roommate’s door before yours opened and Leah tiptoe-danced inside, beaming at you. She was wearing nothing but an extremely tight-fitting cropped wifebeater and a khaki thong, accentuating her long legs as she leaped right onto your bed and almost made you fly as her weight hit the mattress. You tried not to stare at her perfectly toned abs as she opened the gigantic carton and held up a slice of pizza over her head, letting the tip dangle in her mouth before biting down with a moan that made you snort awkwardly.

“Good morning, you animal.”

Leah just moaned again, making a grabbing motion with her hand and pointing toward the second can of coke on your nightstand. You laughed silently as you handed her the cold can, condensed water running down the sides and wetting your fingers. You wiped them on the blanket. The tall brunette swallowed hard and took a sip of coke.

“Good morning, womanizer.” She grinned widely. “I’m so proud of you, man. This is the first time I’ve seen you in action and I can safely say Abby was just as surprised as I was.”

You buried your face in your hands.

“Oh god, was I that obvious? Did I do anything inappropriate? I thought it went well, but now I’m not so sure.” You spread your fingers to peak at your roommate who was currently chewing on a ginormous bite, tomato juice running down her chin. No manners, that girl. She just shook her head and made a noise somewhere between protest and encouragement.

“No, you were fine,” she said with a full mouth, “very tipsy, but cute. I hope you remember Abby inviting you to her place.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

You ran your fingers through your hair, immediately getting stuck in a tangle of knots. God, you needed a shower.

“Yeah, I already went over it with Mark. We made a plan so I won’t embarrass myself.”

“Good. I hope it goes well, you two would be cute together. Hot, even. I mean, no one can deny the allure of those biceps. And her ass?! Godly.” She easily evaded the kick you aimed at her ribs, laughing and slapping your shin away.

“Come on, let’s not act like you’re not ogling her every chance you get. I am, too - the woman looks like a greek goddess!”

“That’s enough,” you giggled, aiming another playful kick in her direction but only lightly hitting her in the thigh. “I know what she looks like.”

“Right. And soon, you’ll hopefully see a lot more of her.” This time, Leah jumped off the bed before your toes could sink right into her side. You tried to suppress a grin as you two stared at each other for a moment before Leah sat back down cross-legged and began eating the last slice of pizza.

“I mean,” she said casually, “you have seen more of a woman before, right?”

You grabbed your coke and turned it in your hands before answering.

“Yeah, I have. It wasn’t… It wasn’t all that, though. Just one time and we were both so nervous it was just awkward.”

Now Leah looked at you with a mixture of shock and pity.

“Come on, Y/N. Only once? You’ve never seen stars because of a woman’s tongue? Never screamed into a pillow because of some skilled sapphic strap game? Never lost your mi-”

“Leaahhhh!” You groaned, feeling blood shoot into your cheeks. “No, okay? I… I made the other girl cum, but for me, it was just… it was too unfamiliar and I didn’t know her well enough to really let myself enjoy it.”

Suddenly a thought crossed your mind and you felt your eyes open wide.

“Wait. Has Abby…? Is she..?”

Leah paused mid-bite and thought for a second.

“Well, she does have experience with men, obviously. As far as women go… I honestly don’t know. She’s dated a few, but it never went longer than a couple of weeks. I don’t know how fast things go with her and she’s never gone into detail with me. I have to ask Nora about that.”

“Don’t you dare! She’ll know this is about me and tell Abby!”

“Oh come on, I’m interested, too.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you so you know what to prepare for, win-win!” She nudged your foot and gave you a mischievous half-smile.

“For god’s sake, do what you must.” You finished your coke and threw it perfectly into the bin beside your desk. Leah gave you an impressed nod. “And now I desperately need a shower. There is a literal nest on top of my head.”

“True,” Leah said and stood up, stretching her limbs as she walked to the door. “Thanks for the pizza. I’m gonna ask Jordan if he wants to come over, so don’t walk out naked if you don’t want a threesome.” She winked at you before closing the door, but a small part at the back of your brain knew that she wasn’t completely joking. You sighed and swung your legs off your bed. No point in lying around, it was past 3 pm anyway.

Grabbing your phone, a shirt, and some clean boxers, you headed for the bathroom. You took your time showering, detangling the mess on your head with lots of conditioner, humming along to Marika Hackman’s cover of I Follow Rivers as you stood under the hot stream of water and brushing your teeth for at least five minutes while waiting for a hair mask to do its magic. When you stepped out of the shower, the bathroom was filled with hot steam and you felt like a whole new person. You slipped into your fresh clothes and held the blow dryer to the mirror until your reflection was clear.

So. Here you were. Finally, you had spoken to the woman of your dreams and even flirted with her. She may have even been jealous of your short conversation with Ellie, the bartender. Tomorrow, you would text her, you would be brave and cool and not at all awkward. As you collected your clothes off the floor and took your phone, you suddenly realized something that would destroy your entire plan. You didn’t even have Abby’s phone number. Why hadn’t you asked her? Of course, you could ask Leah for it, but Abby would know because she knew she hadn’t given it to you. It would be a lot less cool and casual. Fuck.

You stepped into the hallway and ran straight into Jordan. Perfect. Good thing Leah had warned you.

“Oh, hi Y/N! You doing alright after all those tequila shots?” Jordan’s face was open and kind. You immediately relaxed. Just a guy, not a threat.

“Better than I thought I would, actually. What about you?”

“Well, I sent them back out the way they came as soon as I got home.” He grimaced and shrugged. “Just glad I’m still alive, to be honest.”

You had to laugh. “I’m glad, too. Leah would have been devastated.”

“I hope so.” He grinned back. The silence between you stretched a little bit too long.

“Anyways, I’m gonna see what she’s up to. See you later?”

“Yeah, sure!” You said, relieved that he didn’t make it awkward. You quickly slipped into your room and sank down on the bed, composing a text to Mark.

-Minor hiccup - I don’t have her number.

His reply came immediately.

-Shit. What now?

You let yourself fall back on the mattress and covered your face with your arm. Your phone vibrated again and you lifted it up, hoping for a brilliant idea.

-Hey, this is Abby. Are we still on for next week?

You almost dropped your phone on your face. For a minute, you just stared at the message. Then you rolled over onto your stomach and screamed into your pillow.

-Hi Abby. We absolutely are. Y/N.

You tried to suppress a fit of giggles as you texted your brother.

-Nvm, she just texted me.

-Omg what!! Play it cool, don’t answer yet. What did she say???

-Oops already answered. Still on for next week.

-Incredibly casual lol. Whatever, good for you!

-Shut up!

Another text by Abby came in and you actually started drumming your feet on the bed with excitement.

-Tuesday? I could cook for us

-Very impressive, I’ll bite. What time should I come over?

-Very clever. 6pm? Any allergies?

-Vegetarian, hope that’s okay. 6 is great, text me your address?

You watched the little text bubble pop up and vanish again for a good minute, getting more and more nervous for her answer.

- No problem. 2425 Constance.

There was nothing else to do but scream into your pillow again.

-

The next two days went excruciatingly slow. You spent the rest of your Sunday in bed, watching a terrible zombie movie and later ordering curry because you couldn’t be bothered with preparing any food. As it got late, you suddenly heard a knock on the wall. At first, you thought it was accidental, until the knocking started to continue in a steady rhythm. With a death glare that you hoped would reach through the concrete, you plugged your headphones into your laptop and continued watching your movie.

On Monday, you threw yourself into art history coursework and caught up on your studies, emailed your professor, and spent three hours on an essay about the depiction of blood in paintings of Judith beheading Holofernes. Lovely subject. Even though you got through a lot of your tasks for the day, you couldn’t stop yourself from looking at your phone every 10 minutes to see if you had missed a message. Of course, nothing came up. Around 4 pm, your phone buzzed and you leapt for it only to find out it was Leah asking you to buy toilet paper later. At 6pm, you shut off your laptop and grabbed your backpack to go grocery shopping.

Standing in the liquor store you realized you hadn’t asked Abby about cocktails.

“Looking for something in particular?” the elderly lady behind the counter asked. It seemed to be her own shop and to have been hers for a while, judging by the elegant wooden shelves and the warm, nice feeling of the room instead of neon lights and rows of white metal.

“Uh, yeah, actually. I have a date tomorrow and I thought we could make cocktails, but I forgot to ask what she likes. So now I don’t know what to bring.” You gave her an apologetic half smile. She stood up from her seat behind the register, growing not even 2 inches standing compared to sitting and made her way over to you. Her eyes twinkled behind thick glasses that made her look a little bit like an owl.

“Well, dear. I don’t know if I would go straight into the hard liquor on a first date. On my last first date, we had a delicious red wine, a Merlot. Couldn’t that be something? Are you going to eat anything?”

“Oh yes, she said she’d cook for us, but I don’t know what exactly.”

The shop owner gently put a hand on your arm and guided you to a shelf of dark bottles.

“Well, Merlot goes well with any food, so I think it would be perfect. Cocktails come later, when you dress up and go out together or after a night of theater.” You felt a surge of warmth spread through your chest. Theater? Well, why not? For a second, you began to trail off, imagining Abby in a perfectly tailored suit, you at her arm just as dressed up, every head turning as you entered the room and ordered Gin Tonics at the bar during the break. The voice next to you pulled you back to the present.

“If you’re cooking at home, wine is the thing to bring, trust me.”

“I trust you,” you said with a smile as you took the bottle she handed you. The label was a creamy white, with beautiful golden letters. Hopefully this wouldn’t bankrupt you. “Thank you for your help.”

The shopkeeper sat back down in her chair with a sigh and typed into the cash register. 15.99$. That wasn’t so bad. You paid and gently put the bottle inside your backpack.

“You know, you should come by soon and let me know how it went. I think that Merlot will bring you good luck. My wife and I still have it every Sunday.” Your head snapped up and your eyes met that charming, smart twinkle again, flashing at you out of dark brown irises. For a moment, all of the things you wanted to say were stuck in your throat, then you just broke into a smile.

“That’s wonderful, ma’am. I hope I can have that, in the future.”

“Of course you will, dear.” She really sounded like she meant it. A small lump suddenly appeared in your throat.

“Thank you so much. I wish you all the best.”

“Go get her!”

You laughed and waved at her again as you exited the shop, taking the warmth and comfort of it with you and tucking it right beneath the bottom of your heart and the top of your stomach where you knew it would fuel you for a few days. You had already decided that you would come back and make it your mission to befriend that old lady. What a wonderful woman.

Only 23 hours to go. That night, it was almost impossible to fall asleep.

-

You got through the next day by once again banning any thought of the evening from your mind and diving head first into your assignments. You were going to lead a discussion on different planes of language or communications in women’s art and literature and reading up on the historical differences between male and female narratives, beginning with the ancient poet Sappho. It was an exciting topic, something you were extremely thankful for. Otherwise you might have been looking at your phone every 3 minutes instead of every 20. Of course, no message from Abby.

The bottle of wine was standing on your nightstand, reminding you of your plans with an exciting tingle in your stomach. At 4pm, you gave up on doing anything productive. You spent forever in the shower, stealing some of Leah’s expensive pink body scrub, shaving everywhere and regretting it immediately because you felt stupid for assuming anything, entertaining the but what if thoughts while you thoroughly lathered your entire body in Leah’s shampoo and shower gel and spending a good 10 minutes just standing under the hot water because you weren’t ready to leave that fantasy yet. When you stepped out of the shower, the bathroom was an actual steam bath and you could hardly see the door through the thick waves of wonderfully scented fog. You took your time stealing some more of Leah’s skincare products, having come to the conclusion that if she noticed anything and scolded you for it, you might as well try out the whole arsenal.

When you finally opened your closet door, feeling luxurious and clean and fresh, it was 5.10pm. What the hell were you going to wear? You and Mark had agreed on casual, but what the hell did that even mean? You decided to ask him.

-Help!!! Freaking out over my outfit, need a definition for casual

-Jeans and T-Shirt, just your standard outfit. Imagine meeting me for sushi.

-I’m bringing red wine. It seems wrong to bring wine in jeans and a t-shirt..

-What happened to cocktails?? Trust me, keep it simple. You don’t wanna turn up in a dress and she opens the door in sweatpants.

-I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in sweatpants. Ughh fuck I don’t have time for this. Jeans and t-shirt it is. Lesbian grandma recommended wine, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow x

-Go get her x

You quickly slipped into some black jeans that were just the right amount of tightly fitting around your ass and a white shirt with a tiny pomegranate embroidered on the front. Then you put on your jacket and quickly threw your wallet, phone and keys into a tote before grabbing the wine and putting it in as well. With a last look into the hallway mirror and a yelled goodbye to Leah, you rushed out of your apartment.

The evening air was not as cool as you had expected and the sun was just about to set. On your way to the train station, you typed out an on my way! message to Abby and quickly deleted it again. No sense in sending it now when you hadn’t spoken since Sunday and were about to see her. The train ride was annoying, the wagon stuffed with commuters and some guy trying to convince you the apocalypse was upon you all. Zombies, not the last judgement - something different at least.

During the walk from the station to Abby’s house, you were sure it wouldn’t take much more for you to actually start levitating. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your throat was so cramped up it was hard to breathe. When you pulled out your phone, your fingers were actually shaking. Jesus Christ, get a grip. 5.58 pm.

And there it was, 2425 Constance. Just a normal suburban white house, like any other in the street. It actually seemed a bit weird, Manny and Abby living here in the midst of what seemed to be a family neighborhood with real adults . Then again, they both weren’t in college, so you supposed they actually were real adults. When you walked up to the front door, you could hear faint music from inside - jazz? You wouldn’t have guessed she was the jazz type, but then again you knew almost nothing about her. Right. Ask questions, keep the conversation about her. Be cool.

You knocked.

Abby opened the door, a wave of warm air hitting you from inside. It smelled delightful. Her face was slightly flushed, her lips parted as she took in a deep breath. She had tied her hair back in a low bun, but a few strands had fallen out and framed her face. One was standing up in a funny angle.

“Hi, Abby,” you said, trying to keep your voice level and not stare at her body. Fuck, she had dressed up. And she looked hot.

“Hi!” A smile slowly grew wide on her face. When she realized that she was blocking the door, she quickly shook her head and stepped aside. “Come in! Can I take your jacket?”

Oh God, this was hopeless. You already knew you were hers. Thanking her, you took off your jacket and she hung it in a closet next to the entrance. When she turned around, you got a chance to admire her fully. She wore wide dress pants that perfectly accentuated all of her muscles, topped with a loose white shirt with wide sleeves, reminding you a little bit of a pirate. Her jewelry rounded off the pirate look and you had to bite back a grin. She raised her eyebrows at you.

“What?” Her cheeks were still slightly red, but you attributed it to standing in a hot kitchen for probably the last hour, judging by the variety of smells overlapping and mixing together, already making your mouth water.

“Uh, I brought wine,” you said and held out the bottle. Eloquent as always. Abby took it and whistled through her teeth as she inspected the label.

“That looks classic. The sauce I made has some wine in it as well, this is perfect. Thank you, what a great idea!”

You were overwhelmed with her generous praise and didn’t know where to look, so you settled on her hands. You had always sneaked looks at her hands, at the way she held a glass or drummed on a table or clasped them when she was intently listening to someone. They looked strong and rough from work, but there was also a delicacy in their movement and you were sure her touch could be as gentle as the brush of a hummingbird flying past. Realizing you were staring, you tore your gaze away.

“It smells delicious in here, I can’t wait to see what you cooked.” You followed her into the kitchen, where she placed the bottle on the counter and took a corkscrew from a drawer. A big red pot was standing on the gas stove over a tiny flame, the lid still hiding its contents. Your stomach suddenly growled loudly into the silence.

“Someone’s hungry.” Abby gave you a side glance and an amused smirk as she screwed the silver device into the cork. “Everything’s already set, we can get started right away.”

You covered your eyes with your hand for a second before laughing.

“Yeah, I kind of forgot to have lunch earlier and then I figured I’d just wait so I could really savour this.”

“Smart thinking. I made patates au vin , a vegetarian version of coq au vin which is chicken in wine. It’s basically potatoes and vegetables in a thick brown sauce, served with some good rustic bread.” You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back at the thought of getting to eat home cooked french cuisine made by Abby in a few minutes.

“Oh my God, say that again.” You could barely stop yourself from moaning. Abby laughed and opened the wine with a loud pop.

“Here, take this over to the dinner table. I’m right behind you.” You took the bottle and followed her nod into the dining room. The wooden table was beautifully set with big and small plates, glasses for water and wine, candles, two blue glass bottles of water and a bowl of salad topped with what looked like apples, pomegranate seeds and feta cheese. You carefully placed the bottle of wine next to the water bottles and stepped aside for Abby, who came out of the kitchen carrying the heavy pot and placed it on a cork coaster in the middle of the table.

“Wait, let me just…” she trailed off as she grabbed her phone from the sideboard and changed the music. A saxophone led a jazz band into the song before a beautiful female voice set in, soft as butter and filling the room like the smell of roses. The voice was familiar to you, but you couldn’t quite place it. As Abby sat down, the music came to a crescendo before breaking off, the voice setting in again with a soft

is it a crime?

“Who sings this?” you asked as Abby opened the water bottle and filled your glasses.

“Oh, it’s Sade. She was my dad’s favorite.”

And I want you to want me too, the woman sang, and your eyes met over the table. You swallowed. Was? Not the right time.

“Sade? Oh, she sings Smooth Operator, right? I know that one, but I never checked out more of her music.”

Abby smiled at you and opened the lid of the pot.

“Yeah. This is the Promise album, my favorite. She is a force.”

A wave of steam erupted from the pot and you bent forward to look inside. Thick, roasted wedges of yellow potatoes lay in a bed of orange and purple carrots, mushrooms and tomatoes in a thick brown sauce, a stalk of thyme on top and a bay leaf poking out from the sauce. You weren’t sure if you were drooling, but you didn’t care.

“Abby, oh my God! This is fantastic.”

A spark had lit in her eyes when she heard you say her name. She elegantly stood up again, grabbed a serving spoon, and held out her hand for your plate. You watched her hands again as she plated an array of vegetables for you and used the spoon to draw a little sauce heart on the rim of the plate. Your ribs felt two sizes too small around your chest. This woman was actually going to be the death of you.

“Thanks,” you quietly said and waited as Abby helped herself to a plate. She sat down and gestured toward the small basket with thick slices of grey bread with a dark brown crust.

“Help yourself. Bon appétit.”

After a few moments of eating in comfortable silence before you showered the blonde in an array of compliments, this time not able to refrain from moaning when you bit into a tender, sweet purple carrot, the conversation began to flow. Abby complimented the wine, you talked about your studies, Abby told a few work stories in which both she and Nora were involved, you told her about your close relationship with your brother and she bittersweetly reminisced about her upbringing as an only child with a single dad. It had just been the two of them, moving frequently because of his changing jobs in different hospitals. He had been a neurosurgeon, and a brilliant one at that, but always humble and ready to help wherever he could. Abby sat up straighter when she talked about him, her chest actually swelling with pride when she told you about one time they had rescued an injured horse that had run away and been hit by a car in front of them.

“I think I was 16 back then. It’s one of my favorite memories of him. It actually wasn’t long before…” Her eyebrows moved into a frown and she bit her lip, pushing a small piece of onion around her plate. Fuck, maybe it would have been easier to talk about you, after all.

“We don’t have to talk about it. You can tell me when you’re ready.”

She looked up and you expected to see tears, but her eyes were full of love and her face smoothed out into a gentle smile.

“No, it’s okay. I’m still working on it, and part of my therapy is telling people who don’t know yet. You know, I don’t really have a lot of friends.” She suddenly laughed, easing the tension at the bottom of your lungs. “That sounds stupid, of course I do. I have Manny and Nora and Leah and Jordan and Owen, I guess. But the thing is, they all knew me before. I haven’t really made friends ever since my dad.. passed away. The idea of needing to open up to someone about all this so I can develop a real connection and friendship with them is just a lot to bear.”

“The mortifying ordeal of being known,” you mumbled, more to yourself, crumpling up your napkin in one hand.

“Sorry?”

“Oh, it’s this quote from a New York Times article that has been floating around the internet for a while. ‘If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known’.” You looked up at her and inhaled deeply. “It’s something I’m also terrified of. Although it seems kind of stupid sometimes, because compared to you for example, I don’t really have a good reason.”

Abby looks at you like she’s just discovered something extremely interesting. She takes a sip of her wine before answering, her silver rings blinking at you in the candlelight.

“It’s not at all stupid. I’ve always been very careful with who I open up to, even before my dad died. It’s horrifying, laying yourself bare for a person, putting yourself on a silver plate and handing it to them and saying there, now do with it what you wish. Maybe they’ll look at it and say no, thanks. Maybe they’ll call everyone and say hey, look at this mad woman with her twisted insides, isn’t that funny? Maybe they’ll see it and think, I can do this, and then after a few years they suddenly realize they actually can’t and you’re way too much and so they leave for someone with a more simple, prettier silver plate. Maybe they’ll even take a few pieces with them as they go.”

She didn’t sound bitter as she said it, and she didn’t look terribly sad either, more as if she was making an observation about something she was mildly interested in. You didn’t know what to say except for show me your silver plate, please show me your all, and I will devour it, savor it, keep it with me forever. But you stayed silent, your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.

“I’m quite the handful, am I? Sorry, I shouldn’t have thrown all this” - she gestured toward herself - “at you during our first date.” Then her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. “Fuck, sorry, I just assumed… you probably don’t…”

Finally, movement came back into you. You jumped from your chair and were next to her in a few paces. She lifted a hand and you took it in yours.

“Of course this is a date,” you said gently and smiled at her. “Otherwise why would I have been this nervous for the past three days, thinking of nothing but you, constantly checking my phone to see if you texted me? And I brought red wine, come on.” That brought a smile to her face. She chuckled lightly.

“So I haven’t just ruined everything?” The hope in her eyes was mixed with real, honest fear.

“No, of course not. I’m glad you’re being open with me. You know, I planned not to reveal too much about myself tonight, fearing I would scare you away or say something stupid and make you suddenly lose interest.”

The current song ended and a soft, funky beat came on. There it was again, that twinkle in Abby’s eyes. Your hands were still clasped around hers and she made no move to pull back.

“Well, now I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me. Lay it on me. Over dessert, maybe?”

You raised your eyebrows.

“There’s dessert? You’re going to have to roll me out of here later.”

She laughed, warm and genuine, and the pride you had felt back in The Closet filled your chest again. You would do anything just to be the one to make her laugh every day for the rest of your life. She got up and you both started clearing the table together.

Never going to know

What fate is going to blow

Your way, just hope that it feels right

Could that Sade lady be any more on the nose? You risked a glance at Abby, who was smiling to herself. You followed her into the kitchen and she opened the fridge to produce a large glass dish, showing the several layers of biscuit and white cream, topped with dark cacao.

“Tiramisu? Seriously Abby, how much time did you spend in the kitchen today?”

She gave you a crooked grin before exiting the kitchen.

“Took the day off.”

You just sighed and went back into the dining room.

Such a fine time as this

“Here.” Abby handed you a small plate with a piece of her gourmet tiramisu. Your fingers brushed against each other and you both paused for just the blink of an eye.

What could equal the bliss

The thrill of the first kiss

You sat down and grabbed the small fork left next to your wine glass. On second thought, you took another sip of Merlot. It really was exquisite.

“Buon’ appetito,” you said and sliced off a perfect edge of tiramisu. The soft, coffee-drenched biscuit fell apart on your tongue, mixing with the heavy vanilla-flavored mascarpone. “Did you know where the name tiramisu comes from?”

Abby lifted her fork to her mouth and softly closed her lips around the piece of creamy dessert. You were entranced, watching her hand sink down to the table again, then her jaw moving and flexing as she chewed. She raised her eyebrows questioningly and you cleared your throat, taking another piece on your fork.

“ Tira mi su is Italian for ‘pull me down’. It’s the last thing you eat after dinner and the thing that makes you tired, pulls you right into the food coma. In restaurants, it rounds off the meal and guests will probably leave in the following hour because they feel they’re ready to go home.”

Never as good as the first time

Natural as the way we came to be

“Oh,” Abby said, her voice quiet. She looked up at you through dark lashes. “And are you going home after this?”

“No.” You said it without thinking, only knowing what was true in your heart. “I don’t want to.”

“I’m glad.” Taking a deep breath, Abby straightened up, then reached a hand across the table, her palm facing up. You stared at it for a fraction of a second before placing your hand in hers, feeling something fall into place inside you. The glances you exchanged said so much more than you could possibly dare to say out loud right now.

You used your free hand to stab the last piece of tiramisu. This time it was Abby who was watching you with hungry eyes as the fork vanished between your lips and emerged clean.

“This tiramisu could be the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life,” you said after swallowing and Abby’s fingers twitched ever so slightly around your hand.

“Thank you. I’m really into French and Italian cuisine, as you may have noticed.”

You leaned back in your chair, careful not to pull back your hand.

“I couldn’t do it, honestly. Spending so much time in the kitchen. Especially not with a job like yours, on your feet all day. I’d probably survive off of pasta and takeout.”

Abby smiled and began slowly drawing circles on the back of your hand with her thumb. You were already hyper-aware of how your blood rushed through every vein of your body, a side-effect of the red wine, but now it came to a roar in your ears.

“I guess I need some kind of hobby besides lifting weights. It calms me down. And it’s not just about the end result, about getting to eat something, but also about picking the right ingredients, taking my time cutting them up, trying new recipes with new flavors, and learning more about food and culture, and honestly about myself. It’s like meditating.”

“That sounds…” you were at a loss for words, “unbelievable? I’ve never heard someone talk about cooking like that. And I’ve never felt that way about it, too. I guess I’d like to, though. It sounds nice.”

Abby brushed her thumb over your knuckles.

“Well, I could show you.” You tilted your head slightly. “I mean, we could cook together. Next time. If you want to?”

Sade’s voice, smooth as polished wood and dripping with honey cut into the moment.

How could I have doubted

Honey, it's with me that you belong

“Yeah, I’d love to. What do you have in mind?”

“Do you like lasagna? We could make a vegetable lasagna and substitute the meat for soy. I could show you how to make a béchamel.”

You laughed and squeezed her hand.

“I love lasagna, although I have no idea what a beshmel is.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Abby’s face was glowing with happiness.

As the last two songs of the album played, you helped Abby clean up the table. You got into an argument about doing the dishes - Abby said she’d do it later but you insisted you would do them now or at least help because so far you had not lifted a finger.

“Come on, Abby, please let me help?” You tried your best doe eyes at her. She grinned and playfully slapped your upper arm.

“Okay. But I’ll put on different music.”

She vanished to the dining room while you began filling the sink with water. A high note filled the room before a man spoke.

You broke my heart / 'Cause I couldn't dance

You didn't even want me around

And now I'm back / To let you know

I can really shake 'em down

Abby stepped into your field of vision. The music set in, a delightful 60’s rock and roll melody, and Abby began dancing toward you with tiny steps and shaking shoulders. She was lip synching to the coarse voice of the singer and reaching out her hands for you. Snapping out of your frozen position, you shook your head, grabbed her hands, and were immediately twirled through the kitchen. A squeak escaped you as Abby pulled you back toward her and with another pirouette, you almost slammed into her chest. You both laughed out loud, continuing to dance through the kitchen with big, overexaggerated moves, flailing your arms and shuffling your feet across the tile.

I can do the twist

Now, tell me baby

Do you like it like this?

You quickly began singing along to the simple lyrics and both of you were giggling at each other’s dance moves. The next song was Stand By Me and you both settled down, beginning to clean the pots and dishes. You did the washing while Abby dried off the pieces you gave her and put them back into the right cupboards. Both of you were swaying and humming along to the music.

During the second chorus, both of you began belting along, filling the kitchen with the wonderfully familiar sound of slightly drunk women singing together. As the song ended, you both comically froze and waited for the next song to set in. When it was La Bamba by Ritchie Valens, you both continued singing along and showing off some probably terrible salsa moves. You were done in no time and Abby took your hand, pulling you into the dining room and sliding across the wooden floors with you. Your stomach hurt from laughing and you couldn’t stop smiling.

Next came the bittersweet Be My Baby by the Ronettes, a song you remembered from your childhood, vague memories of your parents slow dancing together after another terrible fight. You swallowed down the hint of bitterness creeping up from your stomach. Instead, you looked up at Abby, almost a full head taller than you, and dared yourself to step forward. You placed your right hand in Abby’s and your left on her tricep, coming unbearably and exhilaratingly close. Abby put her hand on your back, right below your shoulder blade, warming you through the fabric of your shirt. Your faces were incredibly close, her breath warm on your nose, and you could have counted every single freckle on her beautiful face. There was a slim ring of gold around her pupil, complimenting the green of her iris. She was breathtaking.

You couldn’t take this any longer. Should you kiss her? Everything inside you wanted to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to close the last inch of distance. It felt like wanting to do a handstand but pulling back at the last second every time because of a deep fear of failing and hurting yourself. It was terribly frustrating.

Instead, you leaned your head against the round muscle of Abby’s shoulder, turning your face toward her chest and pressing your temple to her collarbone. You could smell the herbs she had used to cook earlier in the fabric of her shirt, but her skin smelled like pine and something else, earthy and dark, like tree bark or wool. Abby rested her chin against your forehead and her low hum of contentment vibrated against your cheek.

A light waltz melody began, Unchained Melody, a song you knew from some commercial and had listened to for a few weeks straight after.

I need your love

God speed your love to me

You smiled to yourself and could sense Abby was doing the same. You kept slowly turning, dancing through the candle-lit room and swaying side to side. The band set in louder and you lifted your head again. Abby’s eyes were fixed to yours, but you couldn’t stop yours from wandering lower, finding those perfectly pink lips, hanging open ever so slightly. Your hand wandered upward, along her shoulder, and to the back of her neck. As the last verse of the song began, you stood on your tiptoes and brushed your lips against her. Abby inhaled sharply, her fingers spreading on your back and pressing against your skin. You gently pressed your lips to hers again and this time, she kissed you back. You dug your fingertips into the back of her neck, desperately wanting to come closer, to pull her down to you, hell, you would climb her like a tree if you had to.

Feeling courageous, you stuck your tongue out and ran the tip upward over her lips. Abby instantly reacted, opening her mouth for you and greeting your tongue with hers. She tasted like wine and cacao, and faintly like thyme. Releasing your hand, she wrapped her arms around your waist. You reached up and buried your hand in her hair. She gasped into your mouth. You tucked that sound away for later, swearing to yourself you would make her do it again as often as you could.

A few seconds of silence between songs were disrupted by your wonderfully frivolous wet kissing sounds and a small whine that escaped you when Abby’s hand wandered lower to cup your ass. The first guitar chords of Nights In White Satin vibrated through the air and Abby grabbed you tightly before lifting you off the ground and wrapping your legs around her hips. She carried you over to the dining table and set you down.

The dramatic crescendo in the song you loved so much began.

And I love you

Yes I love you

Oh, how I love you

The singer’s voice filled every corner of the room, his declaration hovering above you, the high voices of the background singers ringing in your ears and Abby’s hands everywhere, her body leaning over you, her hips pressed between your legs. You flexed your legs to pull her in closer, almost falling apart when Abby let out a low moan and rocked her hips forward against you. Then she suddenly slowed down and broke the kiss.

“Wait, let’s talk for a second.”

You kept your legs clamped around her, but relaxed back a little, brushing back a strand of hair from her forehead and giving her an encouraging nod to go ahead.

“I haven’t… I’m not that experienced with - with women. And generally. And I don’t want to rush things and do something wrong and lose you. I don’t really know how this works and I want to do it right.”

Her hands on your waist tightened slightly. You gave her a shy smile.

“Me neither. I’m scared, too.” You surprised yourself with your openness. “How about we take this slow, then? Talk about everything openly? And just go one step at a time?”

Abby nodded and pulled you closer again.

Holding Back The Years began playing.

“One kiss at a time.” She gave you a gentle peck on the lips.

“Oh, really? I would have never picked you as the sappy type,” you laughed against her lips.

“You wouldn’t?” She acted shocked. “Let me remind you of how I took the day off to cook a gourmet french dish for you.”

“True.” You shrugged and pulled her in for another kiss. “It’s probably the muscles. With those guns, you can do anything and still be taken seriously.”

Abby snorted and you realized that had been the wine talking. For a second, you were mortified, then she scooped you up again, holding your body with one arm as she ran her free hand through your hair.

“Oh, those? You know, they’re specifically for carrying you around all day. Anything for my - princess.” You had very well noticed the little pause there, but you decided not to say anything yet. Instead, you lifted your chin and eyebrows, imitating what you thought a royal would look like.

“Well, what does that make you? You’re obviously not a prince. My lady knight?”

Abby nodded solemnly.

“Sworn to protect and defend you. And to carry you wherever.”

“Well, do you have a sofa you could carry me to?” You tightened your hold on her shoulders and leaned in closer again.

“Of course, my lady.”

Abby carried you through a doorway at the back of the dining room into a cozy living room, equipped with a large sofa and a gigantic flatscreen tv, two vintage armchairs, a wooden bookshelf with at least 100 books, and a desk facing the window, medical books spread across the surface. The blonde sat down on the sofa and you knelt left and right of her hips, straddling her as you gave her another soft kiss.

“You know,” you began, “I’ve been crushing on you for months now. I thought you had absolutely no interest in me. I didn’t even know you liked women.”

Abby’s eyes widened at your confession.

“Shit, I had no idea. You weren’t exactly forward, you know. The first time we met, you already had this pull on me. But you were so shy and I didn’t want to jump you or annoy you, so I tried to keep my distance and wait if you would come around.”

“You have Leah to thank for that. Me coming around. I kind of forgot to come out to her until karaoke night and she told me you were dating women as well. She knows I’ve been a hopeless case when it comes to you, but she wanted me to figure this out on my own.”

Abby thought about this for a second.

“Yeah, Leah probably only told you because she knew I liked you, too. I haven’t been that open about dating women in the past, just because talking about dating in general was weird with Owen and Mel around and I also just don’t like everyone knowing my personal business.”

“I get that.” You nodded. “As I said, I hadn’t even been out to Leah. Mostly because I haven’t dated anyone in forever and the last time was a disaster not worth talking about.” You winced at the memory.

“You wanna tell me anyway?”

You thought about it for a second, then you climbed off Abby’s lap and laid down on the sofa, resting your head on her thigh. Her fingers immediately began brushing through your hair and massaging your scalp.

“Well, I met this girl during a freshman party at a sorority house the weekend before my first semester in college,” you began. You had felt weirdly out of place, but were determined to speak to at least one person. A few hours and an almost-lethal amount of tequila later, the girl you had talked to all night had dragged you into one of the bedrooms. You both had no previous experience, were extremely drunk and it was already 5am. You had fun making out and were both eager to try more, but it had been more out of curiosity than desire for each other and so the experience had not ended in the expected bliss of lesbian sex. Rather, she had come pretty quickly and afterward she'd begun crying and told you she had a boyfriend, and you had gotten dressed and fled the house. After that, dating in college was not really something you thought about much.

Abby listened to your story with interest and sympathy, laughing at a few parts and stroking your hair as you told her about the end of that fateful night. She felt deeply sorry for your experience of strangeness and betrayal, immediately promising to you that she would always tell you what was going on inside her head and what she wanted.

“Like you just did,” you smiled at her. “That was brave. It’s what I should have done that night.”

“I mean, I had a few weird moments, too, before I learned to speak my mind.” Abby’s gaze unfocused and she frowned as she clearly recalled some not very pleasant memories.

“Wanna tell me, too?” you asked, keeping your voice light. She nodded, looking down at you again.

“I mean, there's Owen, obviously. That didn’t work out well and now he is with Mel, leaving me wondering if he was interested in her while we were still together. After we broke up, Nora and I went on a little bender.” Your heart jumped into your throat. Did Abby and Nora...? A wave of jealousy rose from the bottom of your stomach, but you forced yourself to keep your calm, smiling at Abby as she continued.

“We spent every weekend at a different bar, and one of them was actually at The Closet. Nora was making out with a woman in actual overalls” - she snorted - “and I just hung out at the bar, drinking Long Islands and not brave enough to make eye contact with anyone. And then the bartender started talking to me.”

Suddenly realization dawned on you. You sat up and stared at Abby.

“Wait, Ellie? The short-haired one?”

Abby grimaced.

“Yeah. We talked for a while and I came back the next week with Leah and Jordan. They didn’t even notice I was spending a lot of time at the bar. Ellie and I met for coffee a few days later and I mentioned my dad and she got really quiet and strange. Turns out, she’s related to the guy that murdered my dad, so...”

You were pretty sure your heart stopped for a moment, all the air in your chest building up pressure as you tried to figure out how to breathe out. Abby noticed and gently guided you to lay back down, continuing to weave her fingers into your hair.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ll tell you the whole story another time. So yeah, Ellie and I. It was horrible, but we still stayed and talked for a while. She couldn’t tell me a lot about what happened, but she had no idea that I even existed and she was about to have a panic attack over it all. I helped her calm down and then she felt terrible for reacting so badly when it should be me panicking and I just told her that there’s nothing any of us can do now and we should probably leave it at that.” She sighed. “I hadn’t been to The Closet until a few days ago. I only came because I knew you’d be there.”

“Fuck, that’s terrible,” you mumbled. “I don’t think I could have gone back there. I’m still glad you did, though.”

“Me too,” Abby said, her voice gentle and honest. She leaned down to kiss you, deeply and passionately.

You stayed on the sofa for the next few hours, talking about school crushes and gay awakenings, about women constantly hitting on Abby and her being confused for a long time. She told you more about her relationship with Mel and you started to actually resent that woman. Who did she think she was? You told Abby about living with Leah and about your current research projects and she listened intently, asking a lot of questions about the art you were analyzing. You began diving into queer art and Sappho and your theory on the different languages of different social groups. Abby actually gave you some great new ideas and some good questions you couldn’t yet answer and you were actually beginning to look forward to writing tomorrow.

As the clock moved past midnight, it became clear you would have to leave at some point soon. Abby had to get up at 7 in the morning for a 10-hour shift, and you had stifled one too many yawns. You were cuddled up on the couch, kisses interchanging with long, deep conversations and more kisses.

“I can accompany you to the station,” Abby suggested as you looked up the departure times on your phone.

“You don’t have to. That’s sweet of you, but I’ll find the way.” You kissed her for her generosity, but she pulled back.

“Honestly. I don’t want you walking alone. I’ll go with you.” A sheepish smile appeared on her face and she did a tiny bow. “My lady.”

You rolled your eyes and got up, making your way to the entrance hall. Abby gently helped you into your coat and put on a black bomber jacket, a strange but hot combination with her fancy pants. She opened the door for you and you stepped out into the cold night together.

You held hands on the way to the station, stopping at every corner to make out, laughing together, and making plans for your lasagna night. You would come over on Thursday, promising to yourself you would finish all your coursework until then. Manny would come back on Friday, so you’d have the house to yourself again.

You arrived at the station way too soon, but your train was announced to arrive in two minutes. Heavy-hearted, you flung your arms around the tall blonde and she wrapped hers around your waist, lifting you up for another deep kiss.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” she whispered against your lips.

“I’ll even dress up next time,” you mumbled and she grinned at you.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything but jeans and a t-shirt. I’m excited.” Well, now you had to go shopping. Leah would be delighted to go with you.

You pressed a last kiss to Abby’s lips before unwrapping yourself from her arms as the train rolled into the station. As you stepped away, she caught your hand and pulled you back for another one, cheekily running her tongue over your bottom lip. You sighed and kissed her hand, wrapped firmly around yours, before stepping back and boarding the train. You waved at her through the window as you departed and watched her stand on the platform until she was out of sight.

Letting yourself fall into one of the seats, you pulled out your phone and texted your brother.

-We kissed!!!! Call me when you can

Then you texted Leah about shopping tomorrow, just able to send the text before your phone vibrated with a new message.

-You looked beautiful tonight. I’m the luckiest person in the world.

You tried to keep your squeal as quiet as possible. A woman a few seats ahead of you briefly looked up from her phone.

-Can’t believe I have a personal knight who will carry me wherever I want to go

The reply came in seconds.

-Anywhere and anything you want. Text me when you’re home!

-Can I text you before I’m home? I miss you already :(

You had to wait a few minutes before your phone vibrated again. This time, Abby was calling.

“Sorry, I was cleaning up and getting ready for bed.” She sounded a bit breathless.

“No worries,” you said. “What are you wearing for bed?”

Abby let out a surprised laugh.

“Really, now?”

“I’m serious. I want to imagine being with you.”

“Well, I’m wearing a gigantic black t-shirt with a ton of holes and boxers.”

You closed your eyes, envisioning Abby’s thighs straining against the hem of her shorts and the soft cotton of her shirt that you could bury your face in. She would smell like nature and like home somewhere far away.

“I wish I was there.” You noticed you were sounding desperate. Fucking hell, were you about to turn into a 13-year-old? You could hear the smile in Abby’s voice when she spoke.

“I wish you were here with me, too.” She paused for a moment. Then, “Do you want to sleep over on Thursday?”

“Uhm -” you had to think for a second, remembering you only had dinner plans for Friday with your mom. Before you could answer, Abby cut in again

“Fuck, am I rushing you? I didn’t mean - I just thought it would be nice, falling asleep together. But I totally get if that’s -”

“Abby! Of course I want to stay over!” You clenched your free hand into a fist, punching your thigh a few times in order to divert the explosion of energy inside your chest.

“Oh, thank god,” Abby’s shaky laugh was heart-wrenching. “I thought I messed up already.”

You stood up to exit at your station.

“No, not at all. I’d love to fall asleep with you.”

The way to your apartment was over faster than you wanted it to be.

“I’m home now. I think I should hang up, Leah is probably sleeping.”

“Yeah, don’t wake the monster.” Abby chuckled.

“Good night, Abby. Tonight was incredible.”

“Good night, Y/N. You’re incredible. Sleep tight.”

--

Author's note: Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! If you'd like to support me, you can buy me a coffee here

[taste-in-music]

My Favorite Hit Songs of 2019

This year’s crop of popular music was... absolutely bonkers? I mean, this year we had Billie Eilish crash into the mainstream, Lizzo managed to get multiple hits out of songs she released nearly three years ago, the Jonas Brothers made a comeback, and the longest-running #1 hit in Billboard history became a rap/country crossover that got its start on Tik Tok made by a complete nobody and the dad from Hannah Montana. I’m going to admit, this list was pretty hard to put together, as I found it hard to find 10 songs that I genuinely loved that were hits this year. Despite that, the sheer absurdity of this year’s popular music gave me a spark of hope going into the new decade. For this list, I’ll be selecting my favorite songs off of Billboard’s year end Hot 100 songs list. I’m ready to recount this year in music, so...

10) Sucker by Jonas Brothers I never watched the Jonas Brothers show or listened to their music back when they were big on Disney, so I’ve got no nostalgic investment in them. However, this was a fun comeback to watch play out. This song was pretty dang good for a while, with the funky guitars and the instantly catchy lyrics. It reminded me of “Feel It Still” by Portugal. The Man. Then it got the point where three separate radio stations were playing it at the same time, and now I can barely stand it. I think that after the radio releases this song from its clutches it will warm up on me again though, because I do like it overall.

9) Better by Khalid The strongest attribute of this song is its ATMOSPHERE. The beat, melody, and vocal delivery all compliment one another perfectly, combining to create a smooth, almost sexy sound that washes over you with ever listen. I also like the Daft-Punk-y vocoded lines that pop in at the end, they’re so unexpected and yet they fit in perfectly. I've always loved Khalid’s vocal timbre, it’s so chill and yet warm at the same time. The only thing I can’t praise about this is the lyrics, because I have no clue what they are. Khalid, bless his sweet soul, cannot enunciate. It’s the same problem I have with Ariana Grande. I love your voice, I want to know what you’re saying! 

8) Trampoline by SHAED Give me the hipster points, because guess who knew about this song before it was cool! I’ve loved SHAED’s music for some time now, so it’s been thrilling to watch this song climb the charts and for them to get the recognition and success that they deserve. While this song isn’t my favorite by them, (that slot would probably be reserved for “Perfume” or “Melt,”) it does showcase the group’s strengths, which are emotive vocals and glossy electronic production. I love the effervescent backing vocals and bubbling keys that pepper this song, it gives the song a floaty feel while still keeping it tense. 

7) Old Town Road by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus I can’t think of a piece of music in recent memory that has captured the public’s attention so swiftly and so completely, and you know what? Sometimes something gets big because it’s good. This song, despite all the memes and jokes and radio play and oversaturation, never ever got old to me. Every time it comes on, it puts a giant, goofy smile on my face, and I sing along to the whole thing. I want Lil Nas X to stick around, but even if he doesn’t, I want what this song represents, genre blending, trend-bucking, and a sense of fuck-it fun, to stay.

6) bury a friend by Billie Eilish Out of all the strange hits we had this year, this was the weirdest one to hear on the radio. It doesn’t have a classic structure! It’s about the monster under your bed! It’s got nothing but a shuffle beat, bass, and the sound of dental drill! It just doesn’t belong on the airwaves next to songs like “ME!” or “I Don’t Care.” Despite that, I’m beyond happy that Billie Eilish is bringing a bit of emo weirdness to the mainstream, because if the success of her music, specifically this song, says anything, it’s that pop is heading in a far scarier and more experimental direction. And I’m on board with that. 

5) break up with your girfriend, i’m bored by Ariana Grande The groove on this song is fantastic. The combination of eerie synths, bass, reverbed backing vocals, and rolling snares makes it feel tight and controlled, but also loose and flowing at the same time. There was a lot of pushback against this song due the sentiment of the lyrics, but it’s not like Ariana is unaware that she’s the bad guy in this position. There’s enough indifference and sarcasm in her delivery to show that she’s self aware. This was probably my favorite out of the hit singles from the thank u, next era, (”thank u, next” is great but got a bit old to me, and I don’t care for “7 Rings.”) 

4) Circles by Post Malone  This is embarrassing to admit, because I rarely, if ever, enjoyed any music Post Malone has put out in the past. But this song just hits different. The instrumental feels more acoustic-driven and has a nice pulse to it, projecting a warmth and comfort that none of his other songs have. This was a perfect hit for Autumn, being chill and relaxing enough for Summer, but the underlying bass groove makes you want to move into the productive patterns of the school year. If Post Malone made more music like this I’d reckon I’d enjoy his music quite a bit. 

3) Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith ft. Normani Sometimes radio filler turns out to be spectacular. The ambiance this track builds is relaxing but in an otherworldly kind of way, forming a soundscape of echoing drums and whispering synths. I’ve always stood by the opinion that Sam Smith sounds really good with an electronic beat under them, it helps their great voice move in a more free-flowing way. Normani also sounds amazing on this song, her vocals dipping into smokier territory, and when the two sing together they play off one another’s performances with ease. 

2) Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max Who predicted this in their last year’s hit song’s list? This bitch! I was so happy to see this hit the U.S. charts, you have no idea. It was such a breath of fresh air in that it was so splashy, sugar-sweet, and unabashedly pop. The lyrics are some of the silliest of the whole year, (”she’s poison but tasty” makes me chuckle every time,) but it doesn’t matter. The addictive melodies and the earnestness in Ava Max’s performance make them sound like Shakespearean poetry, or at least like she believes that they’re Shakespearean poetry. 

Should Have Been Hits

Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift This should’ve been a single. I get why Taylor chose the singles she did, but this was primed to be a Summer smash, with the glossy synths and vocoded backing vocals and soaring chorus. We were robbed. Robbed, I tell you!

Graveyard by Halsey While “Without Me” got all the glory, this is my favorite of all the Halsey singles we’ve gotten so far by a wide margin. It’s the only one that I’ve made the conscious choice to listen to on my own time for one. I love the way the production rushes as the chorus hits, and the synths that sparkle throughout the verses, and Halsey’s reserved performance.

3 Nights by Dominic Fike This was a hit in the U.K., and I even heard it on a few alternative stations, so why no cross over? If there was any song that should have been the chill Summer hip hop hit, it should have been this. This song is weirdly addictive, the chorus is so inexplicably catchy that once you hear it one time through you will know all the words to it. 

Blame It On Your Love by Charli XCX ft. Lizzo When the mainstream decide that it didn’t need Charli XCX? Because it’s wrong, it needs her very, very badly. The success of “1999″ in the U.K., the name recognition, and the Lizzo feature should’ve been more than enough to boost this onto the charts, but I guess we didn’t want an instantly catchy and fun EDM pop song on the radio. Oh well. 

Motivation by Normani Normani and Lauren are my favorite Fifth Harmony members, so I’ve been rooting for their solo careers like nobody’s business. This single in particular had so much potential: a bouncy beat, a stamp of approval from Ariana Grande, and a kick-ass music video filled with impressive choreography. I hope this gets a bigger push into next year, because Normani is a wildly talented performer that deserves success outside of her collaborations. 

Guilty Pleasures

bad guy by Billie Eilish This was a good song, just not my favorite off the album, or of the hits, (I prefer ”bury a friend,” obviously, and “when the party’s over,” which made last year’s list.) Still, watching this idiosyncratic little tune become one of the biggest pop smashes of the year was enthralling. Like “bury a friend,” it was so strange to hear this on the radio. 

Close To Me by Ellie Goulding ft. Diplo & Swae Lee When a melody gets its claws in me, there’s nothing I can do about it. This is not Ellie Goulding at her best, (I’ll admit that I miss the days of “Lights,”) but the way she delivers the hook on this song is absolutely infectious. I’m not the biggest Swae Lee fan, but he’s fine here too. I never minded when this song came on the radio. 

This year was a bit of a roller coaster for me. Needless to say, there were several instances where I felt quite a bit of stress and insecurity, and oftentimes, I would turn to music to make myself feel better. There was one song in particular that a friend of mine, @hasanminajs​, introduced me to, that instantly became a beacon of self-appreciation and enjoyment to me throughout the year. And when I tell you that I have never been happier to hear a song on the radio than I have with this one, I'm telling the truth. 

1) Truth Hurts by Lizzo I have never rooted for a song’s success like I have for this one, and watching a hip hop track this bouncy, confident, and enigmatic climb the charts was an absolute joy. There are so many great punchlines in this song, from “why men great till they gotta be great?” to “I don’t play tag bitch, I’ve been it,” to the ever-iconic “I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m 100% that bitch.” This song raised the standards for lyricism in the mainstream. I want Lizzo to be huge, I want her to be influential, I want her to be one of the biggest pop stars of the next decade if not longer. Everything about this song, from its production to its message to its performance makes me smile. And you know what? Sometimes that’s all that pop music needs to do. 

Do you agree with this list? What were your favorite hit songs of 2019? Leave a comment and let me know!

[saltysebastianstan]

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warning: SMUT!! Alcohol use, swearing, vomiting, chocking & daddy kinks.  

Summary: A month ago, Y/N got a new apartment neighbor. His name was Sebastian Stan. A newly divorced parent to Riley Stan. One night after a terrible week, Y/N decides to go out with her friends and blow off some steam but what happens when it goes to her head.

The sun shined through your window, warning your face, causing you to slowly open your eyes. You stretched lazily and rolled over to look at your phone. Shit. You mumbled under your breath when you realized what time it was and that you had missed your previous two alarm, you jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, quickly brushing your teeth and throwing your hair into a messy bun. You ran around your room looking for some semi-clean clothes to wear, settling on a pair of black ripped jeans and an olive t-shirt. You grabbed your bag and slipped on your white sneakers, running out your apartment, once the door locked you turned your head towards the stairs. But instead ran straight into your neighbour, Sebastian, his papers he had dropped.

“Shit, I’m so sorry Mr. Stan, I didn’t see you there, here let me help.” You bent down and started picking up the papers he had dropped.

“It’s alright, they’re just papers. How many times have I told you to call me ‘Sebastian?”

“Hundred timed and I’ll probably need a hundred more reminders.” You gave him a polite smile.

“Where’s Riley today?” You looked around for his daughter.

“At her mothers, we switched weekends because she wanted to take her to see her parents.”

“So you’ll have the apartment all to yourself? What ever will you do with all the free time?”

“Maybe finish that book, I’ve been working on reading for months now.” He smirked. You glanced down at your watch remembering you were late, “Shit, I have to go. Sorry again Mr. Stan.” You handed him the papers and hurried down the stairs.

“Call me S-“You were already half way down the stairs before he could finish. You had lived next to Sebastian for a few months now, he moved in after the divorce and his daughter Riley lives with him every one week. He was always polite to you and neighbourly. Once you started to get to know each other the dreams began. The first dream was so intense, his large hand gripped your throat as his other hand slid between your thigh and into your centre, and you came in your sleep that night. After that dream you avoided eye contact with Sebastian for a few days, blushing anytime you saw him. From then on the dreams continued, you learned to just live with them, knowing they would never come real. All of your friends knew about your crush on Sebastian and teased you about it often, about how you should “accidentally” call him ‘daddy’ or that you should just show up to his apartment naked.

After work that day you met some of your friends for drinks, you needed it after the week you had. You met your friends outside and headed in, finding a small booth in the back of the bar.

“How’s that boyfriend of yours?” Peggy asked as she took a sip of her drink.

“Well, you’d have to ask Ellie!” You tossed back a shot of vodka.

“Who the fuck is Ellie?” Nat shouted over the music.

“She owns the panties I found in his car. I confronted him about it and he said he thinks he is in love with both of us and doesn’t know what to do. So I made the choice easier for him and dumped him.” You took another shot.

“Damn that’s messed up. But at least you’ll have more time to focus on Daddy Stan now.” Peggy joked.

“Stop calling him that, I know one day I’m going to slip up and say it and he’s going to look at me like I’m crazy. Plus he has a kid, he’s recently divorced, and fucking his neighbour would only cause more complications.”

“Well if you’re not going to hop on that dick then maybe I will, are there any open apartments in your building?”

“Absolutely not, he doesn’t need any of whatever disease you have going down there Jackie.” You definitely didn’t want her to hook up with Sebastian, he was yours, even if he really wasn’t.

“Fair point. Since none of us is getting any tonight, let’s just drink until we can’t remember out names!” Nat shouted as you all picked up another shot and tossed it back.

Fuck. You mumbled as you stood at your door, looking down at your keys you had dropped on the floor. You bent down to pick them up but lost your balance and fell to the floor. You stay there for a moment, until a door opened, that’s weird. You thought to yourself, there shouldn’t be anyone in your apartment.

“Are you alright?” A familiar voice asked. You looked up and saw Sebastian towering over you, he looked so freaking big from down here.

“W-why are you in my apartment?” You asked, staring up at him. “Last I checked, this was my apartment. Here let me help you up.” Sebastian leaned down offering you his hand. You grabbed it as he did most of the work and lifted you to your feet. You almost lost your balance again but leaned against the wall.

“Shit. I’m sorry, I-I thought this was my apart-apartment. I will take my leave now kind Sir.” For some reason you had turned into an 18th Century Scholar in your response and even bowed a little. You turned and walked over to your apartment, stumbling for entire 3 steps, you tried the door knob, but it was locked and you had no idea where your keys were.

“Here let me.” Sebastian walked over to you, keys in hand.

“Hey, h-how did you get my keysss?” You slurred.

“You must have drank a lot tonight” Sebastian unlocked your door and helped you inside.

You held onto him as he guided you towards your bedroom, he felt so strong and muscular. You kicked off your shows and fell onto the bed. Sebastian watched you struggle to cover yourself with your blanket, finally deciding to help you. He grabbed it and covered you up.

“I would lecture you about the dangers of drinking so much, but I don’t think you’ll remember much from tonight.”

You pulled the blanket up, snuggling into your bed more, and closed your eyes. “Thank you, baby” you mumbled.

“You’re welcome, doll.” Sebastian responded.

Your head was pounding, your stomach twisted as nausea crept over you, and you reluctantly opened your eyes and immediately shut them back when you saw the light shining through your window. You rolled over and slowly saw up, scooting over to the edge of your bed and sitting there for a minute, trying to gather the strength to get up. As you stood up there was a knock at your door, the sound echoed through your aching head. You shuffled down the hall to your door and opened it to find Sebastian standing there.

“How are you feel?”

“Like complete shit.” You replied.

“Here, I brought you a coffee.” He handed the cup over to you.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do this.” You motioned for him to come into your apartment.

Sebastian filled you in, closing the door behind him. You walked over to the couch and sat down, sipping the coffee, it tasted amazing.

“Is now a good time for that lecture?” Sebastian sat in the chair across from you.

“Lecture?” You looked up at him, confused.

“You were very drunk last night, you put yourself in danger health wise, as well as physically. You didn’t know where you were and anyone could’ve taken advantage of you in that state.”

“Wait you saw me last night? When?” You didn’t remember seeing him last night, only yesterday morning.

“When you tried to unlock my door with your keys.”

“I did? What happened after that?” you were starting to worry, you really didn’t remember anything.

“I helped you into your apartment and made sure you got in bed and didn’t try to wander off.” He seemed genuinely concerned for your safety.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, I don’t normally drink that much. I had a difficult week and wanted to let off some steam. This hangover is enough to make me never want to drink again.” You rubbed the sides of your head.

You felt the nausea return and rise in your stomach, you felt like you were going to be sick. You jumped off the couch and ran to the bathroom, letting the contents of your stomach spill into the toilet just in time. You heaved a few more times, seriously regretting drinking. Sebastian grabbed a glass from your cabinet and poured you some water.

“Here, sip this, not too fast.” He stood at the bathroom door.

“Thanks, but you should leave, I’m a gross mess right now and you don’t want to watch this.” You took a sip of the water, it helped with the burning in your throat. “Come on, let me help you get into bed, I’ll stick around for a bit to make sure you’re okay.” You reluctantly stood as Sebastian guided you back to bed.

You really did regret drinking so much, but it was nice having Sebastian there to take care of you. You climbed into the bed and Sebastian covered you with a blanket. He walked to the bathroom and returned with your small trash can and the glass of water.

“Lay on your side and aim for this if you need to throw up again.” He placed the trash can on the floor next to your bed. “Why are you taking care of me? I practically tried breaking into your apartment last night.”

“It’s just who I am. Now get some rest, doll.” Sebastian brushed a piece of hair out of your face and left your room.

Sebastian didn’t want to leave, in case you needed something so he decided to stay and clean up a bit. He threw some of your laundry in the wash and straightened up around the living room. He checked in on you a few time, you were sound asleep. After about 2 hours, he heard a noise from your room.

“Seb-“ He heard you shout.

When he came in he saw you sitting up in your bed, vomit on your pillow and in your hair. You must have vomited before you could make it to the trash can.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” Sebastian went to the bathroom and started running a bath.

When he returned you were struggling to stand up, you felt so weak. He grabbed your arm and helped you up. You leaned on him for support as you walked to the bathroom.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it.” He said as he turned to leave, you grabbed his arm. “Please Stay?”

Sebastian hesitated for a moment, “are you sure?” you looked him in the eyes “Yes, I need your help.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure. Lift your arms up so we can get this shirt of you.” Sebastian responded

You raised your arms up over your head, Sebastian grabbed the hem of your shirt and looked away as he lifted it off you. His shyness made you smile, he was being so polite and respectful, but honestly you didn’t care if he looked, there was no way he’d be attached to you now after seeing you stupidly drunk and covered in vomit. After he removed your shirt, you slid your panties down and stepped out of them. Sebastian helped you into the bath and you sunk down into the warm water, letting it envelope you completely.

Sebastian knelt down next to the tub, he grabbed a cup and started to rinse the vomit from your hair, you closed your eyes as he gently poured water over your head. Once he finished, he sat back against the wall and let you wash your hair and the rest of your body, but he couldn’t help but catch a glimpse every now and then.

Once you were finished he stood and grabbed a towel, holding it open for you to step into, you faced him as he wrapped you in it. You stared up at him, he was perfect, and he was the most handsome and kind man you had ever met. Sebastian went to your room and brought some clean clothes to put on, he stepped back out and stripped your bed as you dressed. You put on the clothes and brushes your teeth, finally cleaning yourself of all traces of vomit.

“Where do you keep your sheets?” Sebastian asked from the other room “Um, I don’t actually have any others. I meant to buy some but never got around to it.” You answered, stepping into your bedroom.

“I’ll just throw these in the wash then.”

You followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch as he put your sheets in the washer. He walked back over to you, grabbing a throw blanket from the chair and draping it over you. He sat down next to you, you scooted over and rested your head on his shoulder as you flipped through the channels on the TV, trying to find something worth watching.

“Thank you for taking care of me, I’m sorry I ruined your weekend.” You looked up at him apologetically. “It definitely wasn’t ruined. I would have just read a book and fallen asleep on the couch, at least this way I actually had something to do.” He smiled.

You looked into his eyes as he stared back at you, you didn’t want to wait any longer and decided to kiss him, but before you could he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. He pulled back after a second, he held your face in his hands before leaning in again for another kiss. This time it was deeper, you opened your mouth slightly allowing his tongue to slip in, your tongue connected, swirling around each other as you kissed. When Sebastian pulled away from the kiss you were breathless, you held back a whine when his lips left yours.

“I’m sorry! I know you’re still sick, I just really wanted to do that.” Sebastian felt bad for just kissing you like that. You didn’t say anything, instead you pounced on Sebastian, straddling his lap and matching your lips to his. You tangled your hands in his hair as you kissed him deeper. A low groan escaped Sebastian’s lips as you tugged on his hair and grinded your hips against his lap. Sebastian’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You moved to start unbuttoning Sebastian’s shirt but he grabs your hands before you could finish.

“Wait.” He said pulling back from the kiss. You sat back on his lap, “what?”

“You need to rest, and I don’t want to rush into anything.”

“I feel fine, no vomit for a while now.” You were a little disappointed he had stopped you.

“No arguing, you need to get some sleep.” Sebastian’s voice was stern. “Okay, but my sheets are still in the wash and this couch isn’t exactly comfortable.” Sebastian thought for a moment, mulling over the option, “you can sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. Come on.” You slid off Sebastian’s lap and followed him over to his apartment. His place was a lot cleaner than yours, and well organised. You followed him to his bedroom, he pulled back the grey covers and motioned for you to get in. once you were comfortable Sebastian turned the lights off and went to leave.

“Seb—will you sleep with me?” he heard you speak softly as he reached the door, he turned around to face you. “I don’t mean for us to do anything, I just want you to stay in here with me. Please?” you explained.

He walked back towards you and removed his shirt and pants, he climbed in the bed beside you, warming you up instantly with his body heat. “Better?” he asked.

You nodded your head and closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep. Sebastian watched you sleeping form for a bit, you looked so peaceful, he was glad you tried to get into his apartment by accident.

Sebastian shifted slightly, he was still half asleep, his arms were wrapped around you as your back was pressed him, you were mumbling something as you slept, and so you must have been dreaming. He didn’t mind it until you started to push your ass against his groin, a groan escaped his laps as you continued your movements. He tried to squeeze you a little to stop you from moving so much, but it didn’t work.

Your mumbling turned into moans, “Oh-h god Seb—oh-h yeah, more—“

He liked hearing his name slip from your lips, so soft and sweet, and filled with pleasure. He decided you had rested enough, he was already hard from your actions. He moved one of his hands from your waist up to your face, cupping it. “Time to wake up.” He whispered against your ear, you stirred, but didn’t wake up. “Wake up, doll.” He whispered again, this time he pressed his hardened cock into your ass.

That woke you up, you attempted to turn around, but he held you in place, you back pressed against your chest, and his lips gazing your ear. “I have your attention now, don’t I little one?” “Yes, Mr. Stan.” You replied innocently.

“Mm, Mr. Stan’ sounds nice when you say it like that.” He said as he trailed soft kisses down your neck. “Are you feeling better this morning?” You nodded your head and felt him press his cock against you again, you instinctively pushed your ass back into him.

“Good, Now let’s slide those cute panties off you, so I can see how wet you are right now.” Sebastian hooked his fingers in the waist band of your panties and slowly slid them down to your knees, his other hand held a light grip around your throat. He slowly drags his fingers across your hip, trailing down to the apex of your thighs. He slid his middle finger down into your slick folds.

“Oh, already so wet doll, but I think we’ll need to get you absolutely soaking if you’re going to take all of daddy’s cock.” As soon as the words left his mouth, you felt a heat pooling. Sebastian slid his hand the rest of the way down between your thighs, his middle finger gliding down to your centre. He pushes his fingers inside, making you moan a little, his palm pressed against your clit, your hips bucked at the sensation. Sebastian’s fingers and palm were working at the perfect rhythm, bringing you close to the edge already.

“Oh-h god—Seb—“ You moaned as he continued his movements.

Sebastian pressed his palm firmly against your clit, giving you something to move against as he inserted another finger inside your aching centre. As your grinded your hips against him, his grip on your throat tightened, you felt his hot breath on your neck as his breathing quicken.

“Dad, I’m Home!” you heard Riley shout from the living room.

“Shit!” Sebastian exclaimed as he removed his hands from between your legs and jumped out of bed to get dressed.

“What did we do? She can’t see me like this, I have no pants.” you sat up quickly and pulled your panties up.

“Just stay here, I’ll take her out from breakfast and then you can go back to your apartment.” He said as he finished getting dressed.

“Dad, where are you?” Riley shouted, sounding closer than before.

“I’m in here princess, just give me a minute to get dressed and then we’ll go out for breakfast.” Sebastian yelled back. “I’m sorry about this, she wasn’t supposed to be back until this afternoon.” “Don’t worry about it, we can pick it up where we left off later.”

Sebastian leaned down to kiss you, you grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He finally pulled back, straightening his shirt, and gave you a smile as he left, closing the door behind him.

“Ready to go?” you heard Sebastian ask riley.

“Yeah, I’m starving, I ate some toast at mums’ but that was it.” “We’ll have to get you a big breakfast then. Did you have fun seeing grandma and grandpa?” Sebastian voice faded as he stepped into the hallway.

You heard the front door close, you decided to wait a few minutes to make sure they were clear from the hallway before you quickly walked over to your apartment. You sat on your couch reeling from what had almost happened and trying to figure out who to tell first.

authors note: i’m sorry about this being long, but i had so much fun writing this. i love me some daddy seb.  

[mendesho]

The Art of Discovery Part 2

A/N: Surprise! I know this took forever and a year, but it’s finally here. I hope you all enjoy it and I promise part 3 won’t take nearly as long.

Word Count: 3.5k

Link to part 1 Here

Like clockwork, he was back at the club the next week. Back at the spot where he usually sat with his usual drink and his eyes glued to the stage, waiting for her to appear.

His friends had asked him to hang out tonight, Brian insisting as they haven't spent much time together since Shawn's been on break. Shawn declined, of course. He told them he wasn't feeling that great, knowing the truth was he'd end up here. Waiting for her. Like he did most nights now.

“Why hello, stalker. You came back for me” A voice said next to him, starling him out of his thoughts.

 “Oh! Uh... hi...” He stammered. He would think after the events of last week, she'd be much easier to talk to. Yet somehow, he found it harder than ever, the image of her pressed against him making his brain go to static.

 She smiled, taking the seat next to him, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “So, I was thinking of taking the night off. How about you and I grab some food and I can get to know you better, eh?”

 His eyes widened. Was she...Was she asking him out?

 “Oh! Um... I um… yeah. Are sure you won't get in trouble?”

 She let out a laugh that sounded to Shawn like a choir of angels.

 “Oh you're so cute. I practically run this place so I can basically do what I please. Let me grab my jacket and I'll be back in a sec. Don't go anywhere, k pretty boy?”

He nodded, swallowing a gulp. He couldn't understand why this girl, this girl he barely knew, made his so God damn nervous. He was never nervous around girls. Always able to maintain his cool, but with her.. it was different.

She smiled once more, standing up from the seat and heading towards the back room.

 Shawn was lost in his thoughts. Thoughts of her. The way she smiled. The way she laughed. He wasn’t sure why he felt so weak for this girl, but there he was. 

She reappeared a moment later, pulling him out of his thoughts, as she heading back toward him with a smile.

 ‘Ready to go?”

 Shawn nodded gathering his things and headed out the door with her.

~ 

They ate at this little diner on the corner next to the club. The conversation felt natural. Like they had known each other for years rather than meeting merely a week ago.

 He learned her name was Elena, often called Ellie outside of the club.  She chose the name Electra from her favorite superhero.

 He learned that she was 22 years old, born on Valentine's Day.

 He learned she was from Winnipeg originally, but moved to Toronto after her parents kicked her out. Shawn opted to change the subject, knowing how sensitive it seemed to make her, the somber look on her face making his heart ache for her.

 She had 5 tattoos. One on her back, two on her wrist, one on her hip and one on her finger.

 He learned she was naturally brunette but she dyed it red to fit the persona she made.

 “So what about you, pretty boy? What's your story?” she said, taking a sip of her milkshake.

 Shawn wasn't really sure what to say. He didn't want to tell her who he was, in fear that she’d run away. He wasn’t ashamed of all that he had accomplished. He was very proud of it and amazed at how quickly his success came. He was afraid that if he told her, she would be scared away by it. The fans, the paps, the craziness. It was why he chose to remain single for as long as he had.

 “Well um... I'm 19, just turned. I'm from Pickering original but moved to Toronto for… school.” he said, his words not very confident.

 “Ah, you're a baby!” She said, with a laugh.

 Shawn let out a shy chuckle, scratching the back of his head.

 “I'm just messing with you, honey. What do you study in school?” She asked curiously

 “Music theory and sound engineering” He said without hesitation. It wasn't a total lie. He did want to study music theory; he just… got to skip a step.

 “Well that's awesome. You should play a song for me” She said with a sweet smile.

 “”Um, sure! I'd love to”

~

 He walked her home that night, still talking about their life. Their family, their friends.

 “So tell me, stalker. Do you have a girlfriend?” She asked

 Shawn shook his head, the thought of Lauren flashing quickly through his mind. “Not anymore, no”

 “Anymore?” Ellie asked, eyes looking at him quizzically

 “Yeah, we uh... just didn't work. No one’s fault really, but it's been a few months now” Shawn said with a nod.

 “Fair enough” She said

 “What about you?” Shawn asked. He felt a little uncomfortable prying like that, knowing he wasn't just asking to make small talk. He needed to know if she was taken. Needed to know if he could really have her the way he wanted.

 She shook her head, relief washing over him. “Nope, not in a while at least. Last guy really fucked me up so I've been kind of guarded for a while. Just focusing on work”

 “I'm sorry to hear that” Shawn said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

 “It happens. You just gotta roll with the punches and come out on top” She said with a smile. “This is me”

 They stood in front of a small brownstone building that looked like it hadn't been maintained in years.

 “Thanks for walking me home” She said with a smile.

 “Thanks for inviting me out to dinner”

 She smiled at him again, eyes glancing down to his lips for only a second.

 “Would you... like to come inside?” She asked.

 His heart felt like it wanted to leap out of his chest. Going inside. Seeing where she lived.

 The image of her pressed against a wall under him, her moans filling his ears.

 He had to shake the thought from his head. He just met her. As bad as he wanted her, as much as the thought of her pressed against him made his knees go weak, he had to respect that.

 “I would love to but… I think we should wait... maybe... get to know each other more?” His words sounded more like a question. Like he was trying to convince himself more than her

 “Handsome and a gentleman. How did I get so lucky to have a stalker like you?” She said with a sarcastic smile. “Alright then, pretty boy. I'll see you around”

 And with that, she opened the door and walked inside, turning around at him to smile once more before closing it behind her, disappearing behind the large wooden frame.

 He took a deep breath, wiping his face as the cold air stung his cheeks. He almost wanted to turn around, grab her by the hair and take her right there.

 He didn't know what came over him, why he was such a wreck for this girl. He shook his head again, turning to walk away.

~

 It was another night of him imagining her pressed into the bed, the feeling of her nails digging into his shoulder. The feeling of her soft skin on his lips and her sweet taste on his tongue.

 Another night of him seeking desperate relief from his desire.

 Another night of him wishing she was doing this instead of him doing it himself.

~

 He wanted to see her today. The problem was it was her day off. He tried to reason with himself if it would be too forward to show up at her house. Would that really make him a stalker?

 Before he could process his fears, he was already buzzing the door, hoping she would answer.

 “Hello?” A voice came over the intercom. A silky sweet voice that made his heat flutters.

 “Hey um… it’s your stalker” he said with a light laugh, hoping not to alert any of the passersby with his joke.

 “Hey stalker! I was just headed out. I'll come down” She said before the line went dead.

 He stood nervously chewing his lip, hands clutching the two warm lattes. He hoped she liked mocha.

 “Hey there, pretty boy” Her bubbly voice came, breaking him from his own nerves.

 He offered a bright smile at her. She was dressed in simple jeans and a rolling stones shirt with ballet flats. It was the most comfortable he'd seen her and somehow the most stunning.

 “I uh, got you a mocha latte.” He said, handing it to her.

 Her eyes beamed and she smiled, the crinkles by her eyes causing a flutter in the pit of Shawn's stomach.

 “My favorite! Thank you” She said, taking it from him, her fingertips brushing the back of his hand.

 She placed the cup to her lips, taking a sip and Shawn watched her the whole time. He felt like a proper creep, watching this girl sip her drink and his eyes never leaving her lips. He quickly averted his eyes back to hers.

 “So I’m assuming you didn't come all the way her just to bring me coffee. So, what can I do for you, pretty boy?” She said with a charmingly devilish smile.

 “Well... if you aren't too busy, I was wondering if I could take you to breakfast” Shawn said, shifting his weight from leg to leg, trying to quell his nerves.

 “I like food. Let's do it!” She said with a smile.

 Shawn smiled back, waves of relief washing over him like a warm beam of the sun breaking away the cold winter air.

 “Let's do it” He repeated with a smile.

~

 It was a nice breakfast they had together. It was strangely intimate, with the stolen looks and hidden smiles. Shawn felt like a mad man, the way he stared at her, taking every inch of her face in. Like if he looked away, he'd forget what she looked like.

 She sat back in the booth they shared, placing her hand dramatically on her stomach.

 “Ugh, I'm stuffed. This was amazing” She said with a smile.

 “I'm glad. Thank you for joining me.” Shawn said

 “Mm, I'm always down for free food haha” She laughed

 “What makes you think it's free?” Shawn said jokingly

 “Woooow, take a lady out and then expect her to pay? Guess you aren't such a gentleman after all” She said with a chuckle.

 Shawn smiled again, shaking his head. Her laugh was like music to him. He could write a whole album about her laugh.

~

 It had been a week since their breakfast date. Shawn made sure to get her number and they had been texting basically non-stop, less when she was working and he was at the studio.

 He sat in the usual spot, waiting for her to come out for her set. He felt less nervous now, being that he got to see a deeper side of her. A human side.

 He still couldn't help the sweaty palms that persisted as he thought about what her outfit might be for the set. How she would move. What she would do. He was still so wrecked by her and he hadn't even touched her. Not really.

 Soon the lights went low and the DJ came over the speaker to introduce her. She walked out, a seductive grin on her face.

 Her eyes scanned the crowd and immediately landed on him. Her smile shifted only briefly, showing a genuine smile of excitement. Excitement to see him.

 Her set started and she began to sway her hips, hands roaming up and down her body as she moved to the rhythm. She flipped her hair, long fingers gripping the cool metal of the pole, her body sliding down. She uses her strength to lift herself up, spinning around the pole like she belonged in Cirque du Soleil.

 Shawn watched her in awe. Not only was she incredibly beautiful, the way she moved was magic. Like a feather in the wind, drifting across the landscape.

 Before long, she removed the short white dress she had on, only covered by a light pink thong. She made her way off the stage, Shawn's eyes following her till she stood in front of him, eyes seductive and mysterious.

 She slung a leg on his lap, swaying her hips in front of him.

 He stopped himself from touching her and could feel the eyes of everyone in the building on him. He burned a bright red, but all he could see was her. This angel in front of him. Giving him all of her attention.

 She grinded on him, hips still moving in sync with the music, and her head thrown back as she moved. If there weren’t so many people, he'd take her right there.

 She got up from his lap, offering a wink before moving on to another guy sitting at the table next to him.

 He could feel his fist clench as the man grabbed her hips. She was his. He should be the one touching her. The only one.

 Her dancing on the man felt like it lasted an eternity instead of the brief moment it actually lasted, Shawn's eyes following her movements the entire time.

 Her set was over after that. Shawn could feel his heart pounding and his blood racing. He couldn't take it anymore.

 He had to have her.

~

 Before he could stop himself, went behind the curtain to find her. Determination courses through his veins.

 He had to find her.

 He saw her through the door of dressing room. With a deep breath and his mind in a haze, he made his way to the room, closing the door behind him.

 She turned, startled. When she saw it was him, she breathed a sigh of relief. She only had her bra and underwear on and Shawn held a breath as he stared over her body. He probably looked like a mad man with the way his eyes were wide and his mouth agape.

 “God, you scared me. Are you alright?” She asked, head cocked quizzically at him.

 He couldn't find the words. The only thing in his brain was her. Her body. Her smile. Her seductive looks.

 Just her.

 He couldn't stop himself. He barely felt his body move but somehow, he had her pressed against the wall, his lips crashing on hers as his hands made their way from her hips to her wrists, pinning them above her head.

 She didn't fight, the surprise lasting for a second before melting into his touch, her hips pushing towards his and soft moans falling from him lips into his.

 He was drunk on her. The desire for her he'd been holding back for weeks now flooding his body. The dark urge to tear her apart coursing through his body.

 He wanted to make her scream. He wanted to make her beg. He wanted to wreck her. Just as much as she had done to him without even touching him.

 He pulled back for a moment, studying her face. Looking for a sign to stop. That he'd gone too far.

 Her lips were puffy and her skin was flushed, her chest rising and falling. She squirmed against him, adjusting his grip on her wrist.

 She stared in his eyes, her own eyes dark and filled with desire. She pushed her hips into his, grinding against him. He bit his lip, letting out a groan, tightening his grips on her wrists.

 He stopped thinking, letting his body take control. He knew what he wanted. What he needed.

 He needed her.

 He released one of her wrists, easily gripping both in one hand. He moved his free hand down her body, pulling the cups of the bra down, exposing her breasts. He stared at her in awe, drinking in her body. She was even more stunning up close. Her skin soft and warm, her rapid breathing ghosting over his face. It was almost too much for him.

 He moved his hand lower, teasing the wet fabric of her underwear. He was having an internal battle in his mind. Unsure whether to take it slow. Savor this moment. Drink in her body. Or if he wanted to fuck her. Fuck her until she screams. Until she begs. Fuck her until everyone in the club knew his name. The person who was making her feel pleasure.

 She moaned as his fingers played with her. Teasing her. He could practically feel her dripping in his hand and it only made his animalistic side stronger.

 It was a side he knew was there, but never explored. A side he kept hidden away. He was always a gentle lover. Always taking his time, feeling every moment. But he knew deep down, there was something more feral inside.

 He thought it made him a freak. Made him a sexual deviant. The overwhelming desire to control someone. To have them beg for you. To control every aspect of their movements and orgasm. So he locked it away, keeping it only for himself.

 But now, with her. The way she's looking at him, her chest heaving, eyes wide and lips swollen and wet. He wanted to let it out. He wanted to wreck her.

 He made the choice.

 He gripped the thin fabric of her panties, tugging them to the point that they snapped and tore, a mangled mess of purple fabric in his hand. He saw a visible shiver course through her body and her eyes flutter.

 Fuck soft. He wanted her.

 He fumbled with one hand, pulling his belt, Jean's, and boxers down and thrust into her, giving her no time to adjust.

 “Fuck!” She screamed, biting down on her lip.

 That sound. Her moans of pleasure. This only fueled him. Fueled the beast within that was finally being released.

 He hitched her leg under her thigh, wrapping it around his waist as he continued his thrusting, the loud sounds of skin on skin and her thighs against the drywall echoing through the room.

 He groaned, his lips attaching to her neck as his lips and teeth nipped at her pristine skin. He wanted to leave a reminder. A reminder about who's she was. Even if she truly wasn't.

 He felt her legs tremble against him and her begin to pulsate around him. He could feel her getting close, but he didn't want this to end.

 “Hold it” He growled in her ear, gripping her wrists tighter.

 She nodded, her breathing becoming erratic. She swallowed hard, trying to focus on keeping herself together. Her eyes were shut tight and Shawn almost came just from the sight of her. How she was already wrecked for him and they had barely just started.

 He released her wrist, her other leg up on his waist, now the only thing supporting her weight other than the wall. He continued to fuck into her, fast and rough. This was better than any fantasy. Any dream that he could imagine. Better than all the nights he spent alone dreaming of this. Feeling her wet heat around him. How responsive she was. The way her moans sounded. The way her skin felt. This was better than anything. Than anyone he's had before.

 He felt her begin to tremble again, her breathing more rapid and her nails gripping into his shoulder.

 “F-fuck.. I..” She moaned, ”C-choke me”

 He groaned at her words, obliging immediately. His hand found her throat, and pressing on her pulse, being sure not to press too hard on her windpipe. He squeeze and released, repeating the actions again and again.

 She struggled to gasp, her trembling becoming greater. Soon she was coming undone around him, her orgasm racking her body and her raspy screams filling the air.

 Shawn felt his own orgasm creep on him, groaning loudly as he spilled into her, his hands still gripping her throat. He felt her pulse beneath his fingertips, the rapid beating of her heart. He rested his head on her shoulder, his legs barely keeping him upright.

 He stood there, still inside her. He breathing slowly becoming more normalized as the rational part of his brain took control again.

 What had he just done?

 He lifted his head, looking her in the eyes, the worry present on his face. Maybe he crossed a line. Maybe he should have stopped himself.

 She smiled at him, releasing her legs from around him and stumbling as she tried to gain her footing

 “Wow, pretty boy” She breathed, her hands still gripping his shoulder, supporting herself. “What did I do to deserve that kind of greeting”

 He couldn't help but let out a chuckle. He felt a little self-conscious now.

 “I'm sorry I just-” he started, but she cut him off, placing a finger over his lips.

 “Hush. How about you let me get changed and you can walk me home. Maybe even show me some more of your tricks?” She smirked

 He nodded, feeling a twitch in his dick at the thought of being inside her again. Feeling her around him again.

 She smiled, placing a soft kiss on his lips before pushing him back.

 He pulled his pants up quickly, grabbing her again and pulling her into a fierce kiss. She melted into him, her hands tangling in his hair.

 He pulled back after a moment, a smile creeping on his face.

 She smiled back before pushing him toward the door “Go before someone gets suspicious”

 He nodded again, making his way out the room and into the main room of the club and out the front, the smile not leaving his face the entire time.

[leelee10898]

Back to you: Chapter 4 part 2 One Call Away

Summary: Leo is back, and Liam is in hot water. Aria finds comfort from an unlikely source. Coronation day finally arrives, and Aria receives a threat. This chapter picks up right where part one left off.. You can read that HERE. 

Book: The Royal Romance

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixleberry, except those created for my story.

Rating: Mature. contains fluff and NSFW. 

Pairings: Liam&Aria(mc) Leo&Aria, Liam&Olivia

Song inspiration: One call away - Charlie Puth

Tag list: @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography @speedyoperarascalparty @bobasheebaby @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @xxrainbowprincessxx

“If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.” Drake chuckled as he took a swig of his whiskey. “What ol’ pretty boy do now?“ He asked. "I don’t wanna talk about it.” Aria mumbles holding the glass to her chest. “Well I think that’s a record for Leo. You just met him and he’s pissed you off already.” Drake teases pushing on Aria’s arm. “Who said we just met,” Aria says as she finishes her glass, “but that’s for another night. ” With a shocked look on his face he watches Aria as she walks away.

“Aria!” Hana squeals as she staggers up and hugs her. “Hana how many cups of Maxwell’s maniacal punch have you had?” Aria jokes as she tries to hold Hana up. “Whaaaat, I have been drinking regular punch, like 3 cups.” She hiccups holding 5 fingers up in the air. “Ok Han, I think you should go sit down with Kiara. Aria motions to the chairs across the room. She walks a staggering Hana across the room and helps her into the chair. "Oh hey have you seen Liam?” She asks. “Umm oh yeah he went that way with Olivia.” Hana giggles “Oliva is such a meanie head.” “I could think of a few other words for her.” Aria chuckles as she turns and heads towards where Hana pointed.

She enters a hallway and wanders down a ways until she comes to a back stairwell. As she gets closer she realizes there is someone back there. She peeks her head around the corner and her eyes go wide. She lets out a silent gasp and covers her mouth. Behind the stairs is Liam up against the wall, His head tilted back his eyes closed. Olivia is on her knees. Her head bobbing up and down, Liam’s length in her mouth. Tears start to fill her eyes. She turns and runs down the hall and out into the ballroom. Leo stops her, “hey, hey what’s wrong? He asks taking her hands in his. "I.. I.. i just found Olivia sucking Liam’s dick.” Aria sobs. “Oh Aria, I’m really sorry. Can I do anything to make you feel better?” Leo asked pulling a strand of hair away from her face. “Why don’t we get out of here for a while?”

Aria looks up at Leo, his sparkling blue eyes hypnotising her. She musters up a half hearted smile and grabs his hand. They exit through the front door, no one noticed them leaving. “Where to?” Leo asked handing her a helmet. “Anywhere but here.” Aria said putting her helmet on. She hopped on the back of his bike, wrapping her arms tight around his waist. Leo kicked the bike to life and off they went.

The all too familiar feeling came back to her. High off adrenaline and nostalgia she watched the scenery rip past them, she felt free if only for a moment. After a 20 minute ride they pulled up to a spot by the coast. “Just through there.” Leo said pointing to the patch between some trees. He grabbed her hand and led the way. After a short walk the came to an opening. A cliff overlooking the ocean, waves crashing at the bottom. The moon was so bright it glistening off the water. “Wow.” Aria admired the beautiful scene before her. “I would come up here and think when something was bothering me.” Leo said walking up to her, putting his hand on her lower back.

Aria stared at the waves. “I don’t know what bothers me more, the fact that he did it or that it was with Olivia.” She sighs letting her hands fall to the side. “I mean really how different is it, us having sex?” Aria said walking over to sit on a fallen tree. Leo scrunches his face at the mention of them sleeping together. “Do I even have a right to be mad?” Aria questions turning toward Leo. Leo walks over, "well, on one hand you care about him and caught him with another woman. On another hand you guys aren’t official yet.” He says sitting next to her on the log. “No I guess we aren’t official.” She sighs hanging her head down. “I guess we never talked about boundaries. The thought never occurred to me if he slept with me, he was probably doing the same with the others.” Aria shakes her head.

Leo sighs unsure of what to say. “So you two slept together huh?” She looks up at Leo, “it was just one time.” Aria whispers. She felt a hint of guilt telling him, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She knew he cared about her all those years ago but what should any of that matter now? Her mind wandered back to that summer. When she thought she had to leave him behind in Italy…

“Leo, stop it. I will never get this suitcase packed if you keep doing that.” Aria giggled trying to shoo him away. “Maybe I don’t want you to finish. ” Leo teases as he kisses the back of her neck. “Besides Ellie isn’t even packed yet, she’s out with someone having fun” pulling at the strap of her shirt exposing her shoulder. “We should have some fun too. ” He whispers in her ear as he kisses her bare shoulder. “What am I going to do with you?” Aria turns to Leo. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him gently on the lips. “I am going to miss you so much.” She sighed kissing him again. “Well, you won’t have to worry about that because I decided I’m coming to Paris with you.” Leo said tucking a stray hair behind her ear. A wide smile spreads across her face. She pushes Leo back onto the bed and jumps on top of him. She kisses him hard. “You know your some kind of wonderful Leo Rhys.” Aria says as she lays down next to him, “I know, but let me show you just how wonderful I am.” Leo says trailing kisses down her arm. “Ok you can show me, after we pack for Paris.” Aria says pulling Leo up and off the bed. “Fine, fine.” He admits defeat..but once we do, you’re mine.”…..

“I think you should talk to him.” Leo says pulling her out of her thoughts. “Yeah, you’re probably right, but not tonight.” “We should be getting back. I will talk to him before the coronation.” Aria lamented standing up. “Aria wait.” Leo puts his hand on hers. “Look, I know I screwed up back then. I can’t take that back.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I just want you to know, that no matter happens with Liam, I am here for you. I always will be, I’m only one call away.” He smiles at her. “Thank you Leo, I could always count on you you have my back.” Aria whispered as she placed a gentle kiss in his cheek. “My personal superman.”

*****

Back at the Beaumont estate the party had died down considerably. Maxwell was still dancing in the middle of the floor and Hana and Kiara had passed out in the corner. Penelope had her arm draped over a horse, having a very intimate conversation. Bertrand was slumped against the banister, a bottle of champagne in one hand. There were crushed apples everywhere. Peacocks were running wild. There was no sign of Liam or Oliva which was a relief. Liam wanted me to meet him tonight.. that so wasn’t happening she thought to herself. She headed up to her room and went to sleep.

Leo made his way to the study, he knew Liam would be there and he needed to have a conversation with his brother. Leo tapped on the door and stuck his head in. “Mind if I join you?” He question walking in the room. Liam shrugged, looking out the window. He took a sip of his brandy. “So father tells me you’re sticking around for a while.” Liam said still looking out the window. “Yeah, that was the plan.” Leo pours a glass of brandy for himself. “Katie and I got a divorce. ” Leo sighed as he tosses himself into a chair. “She just wasn’t…” before he could finish his sentence Liam finishes it for him, “she wasn’t Aria!” His back still turned. Leo took a swig of his brandy failing to answer him.

Annoyed at his silence Liam tensed his shoulders, turning to his brother. “You want to talk about what your really doing here Leo?” Liam accused with his jaw clenched. He could tell by the way he looked at Aria that they were a lot more than friends once,and Leo was supposed to only be there for the Masquerade. “Not unless you want to talk about the blow job you got from Oliva tonight,” Leo taunted gulping down his drink. He stood up from his seat and turned to walk away. “Oh by the way, Aria saw you two.” Leo informed him as he closed the door.

Liams face went white. “Dammit.” He whispered gulping down the glass of brandy. “DAMMIT!” He yelled tossing the glass across the room shattering it into a million pieces. He slumped into the chair. How was he going to get out of this one he wondered.. One bad decision could ruin his chances with the only woman be cared about. Damn Maxwell’s punch, damn Olivia seducing him. Was a moment of mediocre pleasure worth it? Liam was heading back to the palace in the morning to prepare for the coronation, he would need to talk to her soon.

***

A few days later it was finally coronation day. Bertrand was on cloud nine. He was positive Liam would pick Aria. Aria wasn’t so sure. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to anymore. She knew she needed to talk to him and tonight was the only chance she would get. Hana and Aria arrived at the palace and headed to the boutique to get their dresses. A palace courier stops her and hands her an envelope. Thinking it was from Liam she exhales a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and opens the envelope.

The prince will never be yours. Leave the palace now or suffer the consequences. 

the letter read

 This couldn’t have been from Liam, she needed to get this to Bertrand. “Hey Hana, you go ahead I need to catch up with Bertrand really quick.” She rushes off and finds Bertrand in his room. Aria gives him the letter and Bertrand insist he will look into who sent her such a threatening letter.

Aria returns to the boutique to meet Hana. “Aria you look like a princess, Liam is a lucky man.“ Hannah gushed grabbing Aria’s hands as she steps out of the dressing room. She looks into the mirror. She did look like a princess, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel like one. Aria sighs and sits down on the bench. Noticing her sadness Hana sits down with her. “Aria what’s wrong?” She questioned. Aria looks at Hana, “I caught Liam with Olivia last night in a very compromising position.” Aria alleged. “Oh.. OH my.” Hana gasped pulling her hand over her mouth. The sound of trumpets interrupt them, “it’s time to go.” Aria stated as she got up and walked to the door. Hana gave her an apologetic look before joining her.

The suitors stood in line to give the prince a gift. She did not want to do it, but Bertrand insisted it was custom for all suitors to present  a token. Aria stood there, her nerves a wreck. Ready to bail she noticed a comforting face behind Liam and immediately calmed her down. Leo was true to his word, he would be there for her when she needed, and tonight she needed him. “Lady Aria.” Liam whispered, a look of embarrassment in his face. “Your highness.” Aria dips into a curtsey and hands him a small box. Liam opened the box an awestruck look on his face. “I know how much she means to you.” Aria somberly whispered. It was a small key chain of lady liberty. “We should talk, please. Meet me in 20 minutes at the hedge maze.” Liam looked at her with searching eyes. “Fine.” Aria replied trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out.

Aria walks over to the bar, with shaking hands, she grabs a glass of champagne. A voice comes from behind and she smiles. “You look breathtaking tonight lady Aria.” Leo approved, while kissing her hand. Aria could feel herself blushing. “Always know what to say to make a girl blush.” Aria giggled. “I only speak the truth.” Leo grinned as he took a sip from his glass. “I’m meeting Liam to talk.” Aria sighs putting her hands on the table. Leo cocks his eye, “when?”

 “Actually, now. I have to go, I’ll see you in a bit?” Aria looks to Leo. Leo nods and she heads to the maze.

She walks around aimlessly trying to find Liam when she stumbles upon him in the center. She stopped dead in her tracks, her feet refusing to move. “Aria I have so many things I need to say to you.” He babbles as he approaches her, reaching out for her hands. She finds her footing again stepping back and pulled them away. Tears start falling down her cheeks. “I saw you Liam, with Olivia.” She sobbed. A pained look spreads across Liam’s face. He couldn’t stand to see her hurt, but the truth was he was selfish. He knew better than to go to the stairwell, yet he agreed knowing what would happen. ���You let her suck your dick Liam.” Aria cried harder. “We had sex in the hot tub in Lythikos.” She seethed, anger replacing sorrow. “Aria I am very sorry. I know it doesn’t change what happened. It was a moment of very bad alcohol infused judgement, but Olivia means nothing to me.” Liam begged. “I love you Aria, and if you would have me, I want to tell the world.” He confessed closing the distance between them. “I want nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with you.”  Aria is taken aback. He loves her? Did He just propose?

Before she knew it her lips were on his. Liam wraps his arms around her waist and deepens the kiss. Arias hands venture lower unhooking his belt buckle and unzipping his pants as she pulls them down and leave them at his ankles. “Are you sure?” Liam asks. “Very.” She shows him by grabbing and jerking his large erection. Liam unzips her dress letting it fall off and pool around her. With his two hands he pulls down her underwear stopping to kiss the insides of her thighs, sending shivers down her back. His hands explore her body as he lays her softly on the ground. His fingers find their way to her center as he spreads her folds and teases her clit. Aria grabs a hold of his hard cock and jerks it a few more times before getting on her knees and taking it into her mouth. She flicked her tongue across the tip, and twisting it all the way down the shaft, then back up before taking the entire thing to the back of her throat. A low growl escapes Liam’s throat as he looks at her with hungry eyes.

Aria smiles up at him with him still in her mouth. She knew should was doing a better job then what Olivia could do and she was going to show him just that. She continues to suck and tease his hard length until he is at the edge. Not wanting to finish that way Liam pulls her up to his mouth and kisses her deep, he peppers kisses down her neck and chest. “We don’t have much time.” Aria pants. “We don’t need much time.” Liam grunts as he lays her on the ground climbing on top of her. He lines his shaft up to her center and pushes in. With hard fast strokes Liam grunts and moans. Aria wraps her legs around his waist allowing him a deeper stroke, her fingers dig into his back leaving marks. “Mmm Liam, oh,” she moans. His rhythm quickens and becomes wild before he spills himself into her. He climbs off and offers her a hand up. He kisses her tenderly on the lips as he helps her into her dress. “Sorry that was so rushed. Next time I promise to take my time with you,” Liam whispers in her ear as he kisses her cheek and zips her dress. “I need to tell you, I received a letter demanding I leave court. ” Aria muttered. “What?” A concerned look now replaced his relaxed expression.

They are interrupted by the sound of Bastien clearing his throat. “That’s our cue. Aria please do not worry about this, I will look into at once.” He assures her, as he takes her hand in his. “Come now, I have an announcement to make.” He kisses her once more before they head into the palace hand in hand.

[superemeralds]

my sonic characters: a masterpost

I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak

I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)

[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]

1) Saph the hedgehog

This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.

I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)

I’ll go in depth about his past later.

Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)

He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.

Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.

Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.

He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.

He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )

Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu

2) Red the hedgehog

Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)

he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh

he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest

(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)

ANYWAYS

Saph and Red. They are brothers.

*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence

When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)

They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.

Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)

They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.

Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.

Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.

Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.

*WARNING END*

3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec

[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]

Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.

She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.

She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)

At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.

Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).

She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.

Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.

5) Chion the tenrec

This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.

Hes also a het ace.

Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.

He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.

He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.

6) Athena the hedgehog

Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.

Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.

She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.

She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.

The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.

7) Frost the snow leopard

Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.

He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!

He has ice powers!!!!

His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).

He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.

8) Mitzu the Cheetah

Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!

She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.

She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!

Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.

Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)

9) Dan the red panda*

Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.

He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.

He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art. 

He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...

10) Yoshi the siamese cat

Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!

They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.

They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...

11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky

Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.

It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........

He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters. (called: Chaos Vision)

This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.

12) Aurora the Husky

Spirit’s Sister!

Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!

She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.

Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!

13) Axel the Axolotl*

I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.

14) Azul the cat

Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow. 

He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be. 

He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.

15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*

Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......  

he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.

16) Coal the hedgehog

Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest. 

You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.

for reference thats him

New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.

he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace. 

he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)

Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj

17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK

old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)

from left to right

Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor

Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.

Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.

Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.

20) Commander Jonathan Williams

old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.

I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic. 

If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199

21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)

You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)

his new human/demon design is below

23) Blossom the horned Frog

She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.

She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.

A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.

24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound

nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa

they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want

however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind

they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!

[elizabethrobertajones]

for anon - have chapter 2 of what was going to be a cracky cross over of some of my favourite characters from 2 completely different “franchises” of mine, as a ~christmas special~ on the writing forum I used to moderate. I stalled on “three french hens” mostly because I only remembered to start writing this in December for about 3 years running and Christmas came way too quickly every time that I only managed a chapter a year before apparently giving up in 2012. 

I still think this is one of the best things I’ve ever written and I think you can probably see the influence here :P

Two Turtle Doves

 It was always night in Santa Claus’s Grotto. He didn’t mind. It was a cosy sort of night. A fireplace and armchair, a plate of cookies and a glass of brandy were never far away. “Too close at hand if you ask me,” Mrs Claus would have said, but that was why Santa didn’t ask her.

           He thought that she was making the point rather heavy handedly when he sat down to dinner in their warm kitchen. It seemed after a hard day in the workshop he was expected to eat a plate of green beans and steamed carrots and not much more. Mrs Claus watched him expectantly as he took off his apron splattered in primary colour paint and took his fur-lined red housecoat down from the back of the door. He angled his chair a little so he could point a boot at the hot stove, where the snow on the toe cap quickly liquefied, and he sighed. “Eleanor, my sugar plum... It’s almost Christmas.” He shot the plate a glance in case his elaborate act of sitting down after a hard day’s work might have transformed the dinner into ham and dumplings.

           “And you need to fit down all those chimneys,” she snapped, tucking into her own plate to prove it wasn’t so bad.

           “That’s done by magic, my dear candy cane. When the kids get a glimpse of me creeping down the hall, they won’t believe it’s me if I’m too thin! Ho ho ho!”

           Eleanor Claus gave him a disapproving look, her round, grandmotherly face too perfectly designed for looking kind and patient to really scold him properly. He always did lay it on too thick this time of year. Catch him ‘ho ho ho’ing after January and he would be in a very odd mood. Santa over indulged in everything, including festive cheer. It made his cheeks rosy, his eyes sparkly and for terrible conversation.

           “Disbelief is up 30% in the under tens this decade, Nick. You shouldn’t joke about it. The naughty list has never been so much longer than the nice one.”

           Santa shook his head, laughing another “Ho ho ho” to himself. “You be careful I don’t start calling you Humbug this year, Ellie.”

           Mrs Claus daintily cut a small piece of carrot even smaller and busied herself with nibbling it. Santa’s fur-lined hat was askew, his laughter more than usually unchecked. She knew that sack came back as full as it went out, stuffed with the offerings children put out for him. As the very embodiment of gift giving he felt obliged to eat and drink every last gift throughout the year. The least she could do was not fatten him up more as he worked through the backlog of cookies. Maybe she would send an elf around to all the houses to leave a note for the parents. Just a glass of water or orange juice, please. Santa needs to fly the sleigh straight, so don’t get him too intoxicated before he’s even halfway through his round...

           Her thoughts were interrupted by a distant crashing noise. It startled them both: the Grotto was a quiet, still place, cushioned by the endless snow that fell around it.

           And then the kitchen door flew open and one of the elves came running in. It dashed across the kitchen to put Santa between itself and the door. “Krampus––In the workshop––thought you ought to know.” With that it sank down into a faint.

           Santa jumped to his feet at once, the doddering old man act gone. “What is he doing here? He should be out frightening small children and gathering coal for stockings...”

           Another crash in the distance suggested the Anti-Santa was enjoying the switch from passive aggressive gift-giving to open warfare far more.

           Santa heaved his belt up and squared his shoulders. “Ellie,” he said, without looking around, as a flood of elves began streaming through the door, babbling in panic, weeping with their tales of destroyed toys and smashed factory equipment. “Check the Naughty List. Go to the stables. Make sure the reindeer are okay.”

           “But Nick...”

           “I’ll be okay, my turtle dove. It’s the Krampus who had better watch out.”

           With that he strode from the room, beard bristling with fury.

           Mrs Santa looked around at the horde of frightened elves around her knees, looking hopefully at their surrogate grandmother.

           “Oh dear,” she sighed. Every year something different and catastrophic happened. Every year. Christmas was far more fragile than people ever imagined: the millions of letters from children they received should have been enough all on its own to protect up the festival, but no. And every year it was poor old Nicholas who had to deal with it all, or took the brunt of the attack and had to be saved. Either way, he was in the front lines. It was a wonder they ever got to deliver the toys each year.

           She waded through the elves and opened the back door. A gale of icy wind blew in, howling and clawing in a way she was unused to: in the Grotto the snow should fall silently and evenly. She stomped out into the snow, her slippers scuffing deep tracks as she made her way to the stables. A dozen reindeer took up a lot of space, and with Christmas still a week off they had been left to quietly browse in the pasture at the back. She could see a dim glow of Rudolph’s nose, but it was too dark to see the others.

           Past the stables was a small gingerbread chalet at the back, one of the many outbuildings that made up the complex. The door had been ripped clean off with clawed hands, and two deep rends in the shortcake above the door showed where the Krampus’s horns had cleaved through the biscuit. She kicked aside the gumdrop doorknob and made her way into the building. It housed only two pedestals: one of white chocolate and butterscotch, the other of liquorice and aniseed, both with the same twining pattern of holly leaves and poinsettia picked out in boiled sweets of red and green. On the pedestals were two heavy scrolls: a smell of singed fur hung in the air. Nothing could take these important scrolls: if you were going to have a list of the name and address of every small child in the world you needed certain protections.

           But Eleanor Claus waved those away easily, and picked up the black Naughty List. Why had Santa told her to look at this one in particular? Setting the Krampus on the Grotto would require a huge effort in tracking down, convincing and transporting the demon. But if it was done, well, it was about the naughtiest thing one could do. The name would be top of the list.

           Her eyes had barely run over the flourishes of the silver writing: NAUGHTY, when she heard a roar from just outside the chalet.

           She turned.

           The Krampus stood stooped in the doorway, a swatch of red fabric caught on one of its razor sharp horns. Its crimson eyes fixed on her.

           “The List,” it snarled, reaching out a clawed hand. There was blood in its scorched fur.

           Eleanor stumbled back, clutching the scroll tightly to her chest.

           “Oh dearie me,” she groaned.

[the-nubiest]

Karolineha (Fake Dating AU) (4/7)

So... spring break has arrived for the main 10! Now, both Tegan and Karol has to worry what is going to happen to Neha. (will use a text/chat format as they use harmoni (discord's counterpart))

Tegan's handle: Techie | Tyler's handle: Artiste (say it in a french way)

Raquel's handle: Player | Claire's handle: Doctor

Ellie's handle: Tinker | Axel's handle: Rockstar

Tadashi's handle: Nakano | Alistair's handle: Olympian

Karolina's handle: Supermodel | Neha's handle: Designer

--

Scholar mutters goodbye to their father, ending the call. Grabbing the luggage, they see the twins and Neha standing outside a plane in the middle of the runway.

Tegan pecks Scholar's cheek and moves away, "Alright, I know Scholar is ready for this, but are you guys ready?"

Karol sneers, "Yeah. So ready for this."

"She isn't. I know she is panicking right now." Neha jokes.

"God, you are like my girlfriend. I mean-"

Tegan signals the other three to get in the plane.

--

As the four sits in the private plane, Scholar, Karol, and Neha casually scroll through social media. While Tegan types away on his laptop.

*Harmoni, opened*

Tegan opens the main 10's personal server, clicking the private text channel named, 'Karolineha ship'.

Techie: so... who wants to snoop during the dinner?

Nakano: What? Why is that a suggestion?

Artiste: Holy crap, can you hack your laptop camera so we can watch?

Tinker: OMG! DO THAT! I WANT TO SEE IT GO DOWN

Player: ME TOO

Doctor: It seems kind... invasive?

Rockstar: Claire, I thought you ship this?

Doctor: I do, but it seems rude

Olympian: Claire, get on the ship. We are sailing away!

Tinker: I bet $5 theyre going to kiss after the dinner

Player: I'll add onto that... makeout. If they don't, I'll give Axel $15

Rockstar: What??? I want them to kiss

Player: Don't you want the money??????

Rockstar: Yes, but I want them to kiss.

Techie: I'll play a livestream in a private voice chat

Artiste: YES

Olympian: I can get popcorn!

Doctor: Fine, Tegan. You can do it, I'll watch with Raquel anyways

Tinker: Hope you guys dont make out during the livestream

*Tinker has been kicked off of 'Arlington Server'*

--

"What the hell? Tegan, why has Ellie been kicked off the Harmoni server again?" Asked Scholar.

Tegan awkwardly laughs, "Don't know. Do not ask me. Ask Tadashi, he always kicks them out because of their behaviour."

--

The plane rushes on the concrete, slowing itself down.

As the four get in the car outside of the plane, they arrive at the Novak Household. Now waiting for their possible demise for the two girls.

All of them just collectively just said, "Shit."