#edit: i know DNIs don't work. that's not what I'm talking about

[gracieheartspedro]

Who We Are

pairing: fem!reader x dbf!joel miller

description: when your father falls ill, his patrol partner and best friend, joel miller finds a way to aid in his recovery. but this solution is complicated and requires you to take on a week-long hunt for supplies and resources. being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in evenutally.

word count: 17k words. this one is a LONG ONE. get a snack.

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, age gap (reader is in her 30s, joel is in his mid 50s), i don't describe the reader all that much, consumption of alcohol, illness that requires medical intervention, blood, guns, killing of infected, forced proximity, joel is kinda pervy?, talks of loss of family members, joel lies about his past, oral (f receiving), face sitting, unprotected p in v, overstimulation, dirty talk, creampie, after care.

author's note: ... hi folks! this one is a long one, so like I said, grab a snack and get comfy! I was going to make this multiple parts but I'm eager and unhinged. to be honest, this story is better as one big one shot anyway. I had a very intense time editing so I know I probably missed some things. I may write little branch off stories if you guys enjoy it enough. anyway, enjoy! <3 lemme know what you think!

“Didn’t know you were workin’ tonight, darlin’,” Your father’s Southern drawl brings you out of your daze. You had been cleaning glasses for the last hour and a half. Surprisingly, the Tipsy Bison wasn’t busy on a Wednesday night. You had been keeping busy by cleaning and serving two visitors. 

You look up, noticing your father and his patrol partner wander into the bar. They find a seat at the bar, right in front of you as you dry some whiskey glasses. 

“I work every night this week, Pops,” You mutter, turning back to the liquor bottles to grab his favorite bourbon. You knew exactly what he came here for. He wanted to pester you on your shift and watch you write under his partner’s gaze. He thought your little crush was entertaining. You have made comments to your dad in the past about how you thought Joel was nice to look at and your Dad would just laugh. He would jokingly wiggle his finger at you and tell you to find someone your age. 

Little do you and your father know, Joel feels similarly about you. The first moment he saw you, he thought about how if he was a young buck, he’d lock you down as soon as he could. The age held him back initially, never even entertaining your subtle glances or welcoming smiles. Then when he realized who your father was, he immediately shut down all thoughts like that in his head. You were strictly off-limits.

“Well good, keeps you busy.”

You did not enjoy the idea of working every weeknight with a bunch of drunks, but this job was a bit better than constantly shoveling horse shit. Instead, you got to mingle with the locals. Maybe find yourself a man, since you were in your early thirties and unmarried.

Joel loved coming to the Bison when you were here. It meant he got to drink a whiskey neat and watch you twirl and rush around the bar. Tonight was slower, though, so he got the privilege of speaking with you, which was rare. 

You pour your Dad his bourbon, finally glancing up at his partner who’s practically ogling at you. You made a conscious effort to avoid his piercing brown eyes. 

Joel Miller was a dream boat, god damn. Every time he glanced in your direction, you would freeze up and stutter out a very jumbled “hello”. He was quite guarded, never much to talk. When he did finally speak, you found yourself reeling over his deep voice. 

“Whatcha want, Mr. Miller?”

His lips twinged, his eyes flicking up to yours. He loves hearing you say that, he thinks to himself.  You hand off the bourbon to your Dad, waiting for a response. 

“Whatever he’s having is fine, sweetheart,” He says plainly, nodding toward the half-empty bottle. Your knees could buckle at the nickname, but you keep your composure. You can’t crumble that easily. 

You three slide into a conversation about their patrolling, what they found that day, and the game plan for tomorrow. You make a sly comment about how they needed to find some meaning in life other than patrol. Your dad laughs, and Joel just stares blankly at you. You instantly want to take back the comment and never speak again, ever. Instead, you just continue drying the glasses you just washed. 

When your dad finished his bourbon, you noticed his expression change from relaxed to pained. 

“You okay there?” You ask, grabbing his glass and placing it in the sink below the counter. He rubs his chest, letting out a deep guttural cough. Joel looks perplexed while you get closer and notice the blood splattering into your dad’s palm. 

“It’s nothing, just a cough,” He manages to say, his voice hoarse. You scan his face, knowing immediately that he’s lying.

“Bullshit, you’re coughing up blood,” You reach towards some towels, tossing them on the counter in front of him, “You should probably go get checked out, Dad.”

Joel quips, “Yeah, don’t need you getting sick when we are out tomorrow. Why don’t you stop by the infirmary before you go home?”

Your Dad just shakes his head, “You two are being dramatic. It’s nothing, I promise.”

Your Dad was known for downplaying his pain and sicknesses. You remember being a little girl traveling with him across the country and every time he got hurt, he’d just suck it up. He shattered his left pinky years ago and he resolved to just chop it off. So that’s what he did. He was lucky it never got infected. But he was known just to blow off all his ailments, reminding you he’s beat all the other odds. 

So instead of fighting with him, you just nod all the while, stealing a long glance at Joel. He’s finishing his drink and you can’t help but watch his neck. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and you fixate on it for a bit too long. 

You’re brought out of the trance when he slams the glass down, his dark brown eyes drooping. Joel always looked tired, but you knew after the day they had, he was actually tired. 

You had a couple more hours at the Bison before you had to close up, so you bid them a farewell, reminding your Dad that you’d be home before he stumbles off to bed. He never slept much, he would just read in the living room until you got home usually. 

Joel waves you a farewell, thanking you quietly for the drink. 

“Don’t be a stranger,” You say as he turns his back to you to head for the door. He turns a bit, giving you a slight smirk as he reaches for the door. 

You spend the rest of your shift daydreaming about what it’d be like to be with a man. You spent most of your time in Jackson without giving much of the men your age a thought. More than half were taken, anyway. While you let your mind wander, you realize your imagination is placing Joel in the spot of all the made-up situations with this said man. 

-

You lock the bar door behind you, tugging on it to ensure it’s snug in the latch. The air was shifting, the cool warm summer turning into a slightly chilly fall. You wore a long sleeve today, luckily, or else you’d be shivering on your way home. The walk home wasn’t a long one. 

When you reach your front door, you realize the living room light is on. Dad’s awake.

But as you reach to turn the knob, you hear ghastly breathing from the other side. When you swing the door open, you see your Dad in his recliner, his hand over his chest. He’s dry heaving, trying to get out a cough. 

“Hey, hey,” You quickly race to his side, “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

He breathes in deeply, “I just can’t seem to catch my breath. Something isn’t right.”

You have never seen him so panicked. You nod, understanding that your next step is to get him to the infirmary. He should have gone on his way home. You didn’t know if anyone would be there and you surely didn’t know if they would be able to treat his symptoms. 

“Are you in pain?” You ask, grabbing under his arms to lift him out of his chair. He’s wobbly, so you keep your hand under his armpit and use your other free arm to balance him. He shakes his head. 

“Just weak.”

Your heart sinks. Never in your life has your father admitted to feeling weak or sick. It was like as soon as he got home, his body just gave out. You help him into his shoes and start your trek back towards the middle of town. You wish you didn’t have to walk him so far because it felt like with every 5 feet, his lungs were giving out and sending him into a coughing fit. You probably woke the entire town trudging him through the streets. When you get to the front step of the infirmary, you knock as loud as you can. Usually, they had an overnight shift nurse helping, having them watch over whoever was dragged there during the day. Dispensing medicine if need be. You knew a couple of the nurses, most of them your age or a bit older. 

When a familiar face opens the door, you feel a sense of relief. 

“Hey Sidney,” You greet her, sort of pushing your Dad into the room, still keeping your hands wrapped around his center, “Something’s wrong with Pops.”

She reaches out to help you with him, “Oh no, what’s going on?”

“Can hardly breathe,” Is all he can muster out. You look at Sidney, concern spread across your face. She nods, knowingly. 

Sidney was one of the nurses you trusted the most. She gave you stitches when you sliced your hand open on a glass bottle a couple of weeks ago. She was patient and gentle, always checking to see if you were doing alright as she sewed your skin together. She’s a former Firefly, probably in her 40s. She got trained by some doctors years ago so she knew a decent amount about all sorts of medical treatment. 

She takes hold of the situation completely, grabbing your Dad and walking him to a free bed near the door. She gets him to lie down and she starts scrambling for some supplies to do a quick once over of him. He looks pale and for some reason, very small, in the hospital bed. 

“It’s gonna be alright,” You say, poking his arm. You say it for him, but you mainly say it for yourself. He closes his eyes and nods. 

“Always is, kiddo.”

-

The news was not ideal. After observation and some tests, Sidney decided your father probably has pneumonia. The problem was, that Jackson was low on antibiotics and they would have to decide if your Dad’s case was urgent enough to give him some. 

It pissed you off, but you had to hold back your anger. This situation was out of Sidney’s control, but you knew exactly who to raise your voice to. Sadly, the city council was asleep in their beds, as it was 4 a.m. Sidney reassured you that she would ensure your father was looked after until the morning when they could discuss with everyone if it would be okay to give him some of the highly sought-after antibiotics. 

But for now, you should get some rest. 

Your father fussed at you while he was in and out of sleep, telling you that you needed to go home and sleep. Your body was plagued with exhaustion and your brain was hardly functioning. You would need to plead a good case, so even a couple of hours of sleep would do you good. You ask if you could occupy a bed nearby and Sidney agrees with a sympathetic smile. You curl up, trying to clear your brain of your racing thoughts. 

You can’t lose your father, he’s all you have. 

You need to remind the council of all your father does. 

You need him to get better. 

You need him. 

-

“We only have 4 vials of antibiotics,” Maria states, trying not to look you in the eyes. She feels horrible, but she knows deep down the rest of the council will probably reject your father using any. It was going to be a tough decision like this that made most of the people in the council think they were playing God, but it was real life. Would they give your 60-something-year-old father antibiotics for pneumonia or give it to a young child suffering from an infection? They had to think ahead and supplies were scarce. 

You cross your arms, waiting for the next shoe to drop. “And?”

Tommy stands up, knowing you will not like the next sentence. He practically guards Maria with his broad frame. He resembled Joel, with his dark hair and stern eyes. His were a bit softer. 

“We are low on resources, hun. We need to think ahead and ensure that the pros outweigh the cons of giving him one of those vials. You understand?”

“Why was this not a thought in the summer? When it was a good time to go seek some out? I just don’t under-”

“We had that sickness going around over the summer. Lots of people getting fevers. Before we knew it, Dr. Peters realized we were low. I had intentions to get out and try to find more, and trade with some people, but we just haven’t discussed it all yet. There’s a process. It was in the works.”

Your blood is boiling and your patience running out. Each second of arguing was another second your Dad could be closer to death. 

“Well, it’s a shitty fuckin’ process. Where can I go to get more, then? Is there another community we can trade with? A hospital we can scavenge? You guys can’t expect me to sit around and wait for him to get worse.”

Maria looks to Tommy, trying to wrack her brain for a response. Tommy’s lip twitches, knowing exactly what to say. He did not want you to do it, but he knew how you were. You’d do anything for your family. 

“There’s a hospital in Salt Lake that I’ve heard is practically untouched. Fireflies used to reside there and do tests. They probably left behind some supplies.”

You narrow your eyes, “Salt Lake? Isn’t that a whole week away?” 

You start to pace the room, trying to console yourself. You can’t just leave for that long and assume that everyone will take care of your Dad. Tommy places his hands on his hips, trying to figure out a resolution. He liked your Dad, always going to him if he needed help around the commune. Your Dad is always one to offer a helping hand and give solid advice. He didn’t want to watch him die, either. 

“How about this,” Tommy huffs, “How about we give him one of our vials and you and Joel head out to Salt Lake to scavenge that hospital? If we are right in our assumptions, there’s probably a lot of resources there. And Joel’s been there before.”

“Why are you roping Joel into this?” You press, crossing your arms. 

“Joel knows where to go. He can get you there in one piece.”

“Where am I going,” Joel’s presence takes you by surprise. You turn back at the front door of the infirmary, seeing Joel’s disheveled hair sticking up in every direction. He had red cheeks, probably from the jog he did to get there. As soon as he heard about your father, he booked it from the stables to his side. 

Tommy shoots Joel a knowing look, “You and her are gonna go back to Salt Lake. You think they have antibiotics at that hospital you took Ellie to?”

Joel’s visceral reaction sends you. His heart practically stopped when Tommy brought up the hospital. 

You start to sweat when he does, realizing you would have to travel that far with Joel Miller. 

He swallows, shifting his weight to his other leg. “Probably. Why can’t ya just give him what we have?”

Maria shakes her head at his response, “We have a long winter ahead of us, Joel. We have four vials left. This saves us from a council meeting where they shoot down everything. They won’t approve it. If I reassure them that you are going to get some more, they won’t mind if we give him one.”

He huffs, scratching his chin in contemplation. You knew this would not be ideal for him, but you’re willing to do anything, even if you had to do it alone. The four of you stand in silence while Joel wracks his brain for an excuse to say no. None comes to him. 

It’s not that he did not want to help you, he just does not want to relive some trauma with you by his side. He would have to swallow back all his emotions, all the while you would be posted up right next to him. He does not want you to see him falter under pressure.

“She can’t go alone, Joel,” Tommy quips, gesturing towards you. You were shaking, your body reacting before your brain even could. Your nerves were shot.

He shakes his head, “And if they don’t have the supplies?”

You didn’t even think that far. 

“They will,” Tommy says, matter-of-factly, “It’s our best bet. The Fireflies disbanded, there has to be stuff left behind.”

You don’t know how Tommy knows all this, but he must have good sources to know all these things. Joel nods at him, accepting his response. He looks back at you, trying to figure out how you feel about the proposition by reading your face. 

“Does that work for you?” His deep voice isn’t meant to be intimidating, but you flinch anyway at the question. 

“I don’t have much of a choice. My Dad needs the medicine. If you guys think we can make it there and back in one piece, I’ll do it.”

“We will leave tomorrow morning. In the meantime,” Joel waves over Sidney, who’s still sitting by your sleeping and dazed father, “Give him one of those vials.”

-

Joel sacrificing his time and effort for your father was unfathomable to you. Sure, Joel was a great friend of your Dad’s, but he truly didn’t owe you two anything. It made you enamored with him even more. 

As the day shifted into the evening, you sat by your Dad’s bed and waited for the antibiotics to kick in. His body needed rest, you knew that much because he slept more than he probably ever had in his lifetime. 

He was sweating out a fever, so every so often you’d pat his head with a cold rag. He would mumble a quiet “thank you” and then return to snoring. As the sun sets, you welcome Sidney back for her night shift. She checked your Dad’s vitals, telling you his lungs are already sounding a bit better. You stretch and yawn, cracking every bone in your body while you do. You were stuck in the same position for so long, elbows on your knees, your chin propped up by your hands. 

You had a long trip ahead of you, and you couldn’t lie, you were scared half to death. You did not want to come back and find your father dead. You were also terrified about going back outside of Jackson. You spent most of your last 20 years living in the wild and shitty QZ’s. You were always on edge out there, and then you found Jackson. Ever since then, life has been a little more hopeful. You were able to form relationships and have some simple enjoyment, after all this time. 

Your Dad finally wakes up when you start stirring more. His one eye opens first which makes you crack a smile. 

“Mornin’ Pops,” You joke, grabbing his warm hand, “That antibiotic should start working soon. You’ll be better in no time.”

“Yeah,” He croaks, “But I heard you’re going somewhere.”

You bite your lip, afraid to stress him out. You knew he would worry about you, he always did.  

“Yeah, me and Joel are going to get more supplies. Nothing too drastic,” You lie, brushing your thumb over his scarred knuckles, “You trust Joel enough to take care of me?”

It was the first time he laughed in the last 24 hours, “Course he will. He knows how much you mean to me. If he fucks up, he will get a load of me, that’s for sure.”

His voice was reassuring to hear, especially since he’s joking with you. 

“Okay, I believe you,” You mutter, “We leave tomorrow morning, so I need you to be good and get all the rest you can. I want you up and moving when I get back, you hear me?”

“Roger that, kiddo.”

-

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Your tone is sarcastic and Joel can tell. You did not expect to be stuck with Joel Miller alone for a week, especially outside the walls. 

He clears his throat as he finishes packing up his horse. 

“Mornin’,” He grumbles, patting his horse’s mane, “Let’s get you all set up. You’ll be takin’ your Dad’s horse, Ranger. He is already saddled up, just need to get your stuff on there.”

Luckily, you packed light. You brought a couple of changes of clothes, some food, some camping gear, and of course, your gun. 

Joel helps you tie down your bag and ensures all the straps he just put on are tight enough for you. You just watch him, enjoying how just takes control of the situation. He had the father instinct, always making sure everything would be safe and secure for the girls he loved. Or liked. Whatever.

You thank him, grabbing onto the saddle and flinging yourself up onto the horse. Ranger was truly your favorite horse in all of Jackson. He was the best behaved and the biggest. His mane was long and black and he loved to be brushed. You spent a lot of evenings riding him for fun, just enjoying his company. 

Joel gets on his horse, adjusting how he sits before he takes the reigns and guides you towards the main gates of Jackson. 

“You still sure you’re ready for a run like this?”

He’s giving you a chance to back out. But this was now an obligation. If you didn’t do this, you would indebted to everyone. You would be the person to blame if someone’s loved one died. Not really, but you felt that guilt. 

“Readier than I’ll ever be, Joel.”

-

“How is Ellie doing?”

You were burning to make conversation. You needed to rid your mind of all the anxiety surrounding your own life. Joel was too quiet, it made you feel queasy. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts. You were about 20 miles outside of Jackson, the sun was coming up through the foliage. 

He inhales sharply, “She’s a teenage girl. She’s grumpy.”

You grip onto the reigns of your horse, your body swaying back and forth with the trot. 

“I remember being that young and being constantly annoyed by my Dad’s nagging,” You chuckle, remembering the days of angst, “Are you annoying her, Joel?”

Joel scrunches his face at such allegations. If anything, Ellie was annoying him. 

“Course I’m not! Just… want to make sure she’s doing good. Which she is. Everyone tells me ‘bout how helpful she is.”

You think back to the last interaction you had with Ellie. She had been helping out at the stables when you were in charge of feeding and cleaning the horses before you got the job at the Tipsy Bison. Ellie wanted to know everything you knew, pestering you with silly questions like what their names were and why they were named what they were. 

“She’s very helpful,” You acknowledge, thinking about how enthusiastic she always was about learning, “You raised her right.”

He huffs, “Was hardly me. She’s just smart and raised herself.”

You did not quite understand the history between Joel and Ellie, but you knew Joel was not her biological father. You had no clue how they found each other or when. But you could see the love Joel had for Ellie. You remember him lighting up when he explained to you and your dad how she was the best shot amongst the recruits. 

Joel will probably never indulge you in the specifics of his relationship with Ellie, simply because it’s complicated. He never felt the need to explain himself to anyone but Tommy. 

“You had a hand in some of it, Joel. Give yourself a little credit.”

But Joel was never good at that. He was hard on himself, weary to accredit any of Ellie’s behavior to himself. 

The rest of the ride was occupied with the sound of leaves rustling. Joel spots a fallen tree that he says would be a good eating spot. You agree, hopping down off your horse with ease. You tie his reins up on a nearby branch and start digging through your saddle bag for the apple you packed for yourself. You were sick with unease all day. With everything going on in your life, the last thing on your mind was hunger. Plus, you were alone with a man that you had to put all your trust in. 

You pop a squat on the chipping bark and get out your pocket knife to start cutting the red fruit. Joel gets out a bag of jerky from his pack and finds a spot next to you. He looks over at you, perplexed at your food choice. 

“Just some fruit?” Joel interrogates, instantly knowing your hunger cannot be satiated by apples. No one can be satisfied with only fruit. 

Your stomach churns at your first bite, “Just not that hungry.”

That’s all the explanation he needs. You watch as he starts to munch on his bagged meat, cringing at the sound of his mouth. You try to block it out, but it’s eating away at your brain. You hated the sound of chewing, it was such a stupid pet peeve, but you couldn’t help yourself. Joel is oblivious, probably not even hearing how loud he’s being. You smack his arm out of instinct, something you did to your dad when he was being too obnoxious. 

He looks down at you with furrowed brows and annoyed eyes. 

“You’re eating too loud,” You say, wanting to smack yourself at how stupid it sounds out loud. 

He looks away, completely flabbergasted at the reaction. “Eating too loud? Really?”

You feel embarrassed for letting your brain get the best of you. So you just cut more of your apple off and slowly crunch on it. You try your best not to hyper-fixate on your chewing. When you’re in a trance, lost in your thoughts, Joel nudges you back. He’s getting you back, now. 

“Now you’re chewing too loud,” He jokes, popping another piece of his jerky in his mouth, “Should probably keep it down. So loud you may attract some infected.”

You can’t help but smile at his stupid rebuttal. You give him props for making you feel less foolish. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, eating another slice intentionally loud, “Can’t help myself. They are just so crunchy.”

You hear him giggle, his smile easing your churning stomach. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll forgive you this one time.”

-

You knew the ride to this hospital would be long, but you didn’t realize how barren the landscape would be. You also didn’t realize how bad your ass would hurt. You and Joel finally pull off into some woods when the sun starts to set. Joel acts like he knows exactly how to navigate the woods, guiding his horse deeper and deeper. In between some large trees, you spot a lake. 

“Wanna go swimming?” You question after hours of no conversation. He glances back at you with a sly smirk on his face. When you look to your right, you notice a small path. Joel clicks his tongue for his horse to follow it. You two trot through the leaves, before coming upon a small decrepted cabin.

“This is us,” He states as he halts his horse. 

He had secretly always pictured taking you out here. He could not help but insert you into his small fantasies. Some nights he would imagine what it would be like to have you stick by his side forever. He always felt guilty afterward. 

You look at the building in wonder, completely speechless. You assumed you would be camping on the forest floor, not in an intimate cabin by a lake. You swing your leg over and slide off your saddle. Joel starts to tie up his horse nearby and you follow suit. You continue to look at the cabin, curious as to who kept up with it. It looked well maintained, besides some cobwebs at the peak of the roof. 

“Is this yours?”

He shakes his head, “No. Technically Tommy’s. He goes this way to get to another settlement about 50 miles south. He found this place on a whim and cleaned it up.”

You look around the area, seeing there’s even a fire pit right by the water. It had chairs and stones to outline the charred wood. You could not help but imagine what this place was before Tommy found it. How many fun nights were probably spent here by the original owner? If you had no one to go back to, you would just live here. But the more you think about that scenario, you think about how lonely you would probably get. Maybe if you had someone to stay with you. 

You finally look back at Joel. He’s standing on the stone path with his eyes locked on you. You get self-conscious for a moment, realizing he probably noticed how entranced you were with the surroundings. 

That’s exactly what he was thinking, too. How beautiful you stood in the shadows of the trees, your eyes curiously glancing around like a kid in a candy shop. You had him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it. 

“You good if we stay here overnight? Get back on the road tomorrow?”

How could you ever say no to an offer like that? 

You nod, swallowing back your insecurity, “Yeah, for sure.”

-

Joel could build a good fire. Watching him gather all the wood and place them into a perfect formation. As soon as he lights it, it builds and builds. When the warmth envelopes you, you start to finally feel at ease. Joel sits down with a stick, nudging the fire every so often.

He felt guilty. He felt like he was betraying your father, a man who was trusting him with his daughter. He should not be imagining how a little life in the woods would look like with you. He should not be picturing how beautiful you would look underneath him. He should not be having these devious thoughts about you. His eyes are trained on the flames as they build, trying to push those daydreams away. 

When his sleeve lifts as he toys with the charred wood, you notice the watch on his wrist. It looks ancient, the face of it shattered. You don’t realize you’re staring at it until he snatches his hand away from your view. 

“Sorry,” You retract, sitting further into the chair, “Your watch is broken.”

He places the stick next to his foot, finally out of his head for a moment, “Yeah, I’m aware.”

You were so stupid. You know not to pry further, knowing there’s probably a story and you don’t feel like you’re at a stage with Joel Miller to dive deeper. He notices how small you making yourself, and it makes him feel bad. He never wants to make you insecure. 

“Your necklace,” He starts, trying to place your mind somewhere else. It was a feature on your body that he noticed ages ago, but he never tried to beg the question, so this seemed like a great time to move the subject along. “Is it a moon?”

You reach up to your throat, feeling for the necklace you never took off. It feels like he almost wants to see if you will spill your story first. He is bad at reading women, sometimes. Most of the time. 

“Yeah, it was my sister’s.”

He feels stupid, instantaneously. As soon as those words fell from your lips, he put his face in his hands. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Your feelings towards what happened 20 years ago were drastically different than how you feel now. You could still feel the horror and the pain you felt, but it wasn’t so gut-wrenching anymore. It honestly doesn’t even feel like it happened to you. 

You drop the crescent moon charm from your hands, “No, it’s okay. She died on outbreak day. She was a bit older than me, her name was Reagan.”

He looks up at you and just nods, taking in the information. You don’t know if it’s a gesture for you to continue to talk, but you take it as just that. 

“Her and my mom were at one of her soccer games when all hell broke loose. From what I heard, she was bit by one of her teammates and when me and my Dad were packing up our things to get out of there, I grabbed some of her stuff. A necklace, a sweatshirt, and her favorite pair of sneakers. I don’t know why. But yeah, this necklace is the only thing that survived 20 years. Sweatshirt got too small, shoes got too torn up.”

You don’t even notice the tears pricking in your eyes until you blink. You don’t even remember what she looks like, her face is kind of jumbled in your memory. You remember her hair though, long and brown and super curly. Joel just listens, his eyes trained on your hands as you nervously rub them together. When you peer up at him, you see the mutual pain written on his face. 

He thinks to his beautiful Sarah. His eyes fall to his broken watch. The pain is still very palpable. 

“‘m glad we have somethin’ from our people. Somethin’ to remember them by, ya’ know?”

You scan his broken watch and nod timidly. “Yeah, something to remember them by.”

-

You stand up after eating some more food you packed, ensuring you’re somewhat nourished before you go to sleep. Joel stares at the fire, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He knows he has to sleep, but he knows you need it more. He’s willing to give up his hours for yours. 

“You want me to do first watch?” You quiz, hoping to get the answer no. Instead, he just shrugs. You cross your arms, a cool shiver going down your back as you step away from the fire. 

“I’ll start first,” He mumbles, grabbing his poking stick, “There’s a bed in there all ready for you. Get some rest, we got a long day tomorrow.”

You respond with a slight wag of your head, “Okay, goodnight, Joel.”

You turn on your heels and head towards the front door of the cabin. You creak the door open. It’s pitch black so you step back onto the small porch to grab the lantern Joel lit a while ago. You slowly creep through the one-room cabin, placing the lantern on the small table by the door. It lit up most of the room so you got a great look at the wooden framed bed, waiting for you to lay upon it. 

You feel a pang of guilt making Joel sit outside to guard you as you slept. You knew you needed rest. You also knew it would start getting colder and colder and that fire would die eventually. 

Joel could handle himself, after all. You would just have to push your worry aside. When you curl up onto the hard mattress, you think back to the last time you were left to trust another man to look after you as you slept. It was a traumatizing night, so instead of worrying yourself, you close your eyes and remind yourself that Joel is safe. Dad trusts Joel. Joel is a good man. 

Sleep eventually takes over, your soft snores rattling off the wooden walls. 

After a couple of hours, the shivering takes over Joel’s body, so he creeps into the cabin. The lantern is dimmer, slowly running out of fuel. He shakes his head, smiling to himself at your disregard for resources. He walks over to the small wood-burning oven, opening the door to it as quietly as he can. You don’t even stir. You’re a deep sleeper, he would remember. 

He starts a fire with the old coals, warming up the small space. Once he stands up from his squat, he hisses at the crack of his knees. He glances over at you, making sure he did not wake you. Nothing. 

You were a peaceful sleeper, your mouth slightly ajar. To Joel, you were always so beautiful. Not even just your looks, but your kind and reserved nature. You always gave him a delighted smile when he looked your way. You were dedicated to always being there for your father, which would always melt his cold heart. He would always watch you with a careful eye, praying that you would somehow get older or him, younger. He hated himself for admiring you so often, especially since he respected your father so much. But you were right there. 

He sat himself in the old recliner chair near the door, peaking out the window every so often. He would always find himself training his eyes back on you, watching your chest rise and fall slowly. 

It takes everything in him not to curl up next to you. 

-

The second day starts off a bit rough. 

When you wake up in the early morning hours, you take notice of a sleeping Joel in the corner of the room. You spring up, loudly rattling the bed frame. It sends Joel jumping out of his skin, his eyes flying open to look at you.

You are panting like you just ran a mile. 

“Jesus Christ, girl,” He barks, his tone tired but also vicious, “Thought someone had you at gunpoint.”

“You were sleeping!”

“Shit, yeah I was, wasn’t I?” His tone is more relaxed, sort of annoyed. He rubs his eyes, glancing outside. Your horses were still there and it doesn’t seem like you guys have been ransacked. 

You clench your fists, “You’re lucky we didn’t get shot in our sleep or something.”

He rolls his eyes, slowly rising from the chair he took over, “That’s a little dramatic, sweetheart. We are fine.”

After that comment, you did not want to talk to Joel Miller. 

You also start to question if you can trust him. He should’ve woken you up to take charge of the watch, but instead, he ignorantly fell asleep and risked your life. 

When you pack up to leave, he realizes how rattled you are. He wants to apologize, but he’s too stubborn to do so. You were being dramatic. But he shouldn’t have said that. He should’ve kept that comment to himself. He was never really good at holding his tongue, always saying the first thing on his mind. 

-

When the sun sets on the second day, Joel promises you two should be in Salt Lake the next afternoon. The whole day pretty much consisted of you two bickering about state capitals. He swears the capital of Pennsylvania is Philadelphia. 

“It’s not, it’s Harrisburg,” You would say. 

You also talked about times before the Infection. He mentions his daughter, Sarah, telling you about how she used to play soccer and she loved going to the Texas State Fair. It makes your heart happy to hear him light up about her, but it makes you want to cry hearing a father talk about his dead child. You can’t imagine that type of pain, and you hope you never do. He doesn’t even know why he’s suddenly baring his soul to you, but he starts to feel like his walls are falling away and he’s comfortable around you. 

He tells you about how he plays the guitar, which you lock onto quickly. 

“You’ll have to show me how good you are,” You smile, imagining Joel Miller strumming along to some folksy song you request. He can only imagine what type of music you would want to hear from him. 

“When we get home,” He mutters, “I'll give you a performance.”

“I cannot wait.”

The conversation with you was easy. You could get anything out of him, pretty much. You were a lot like your father, but softer. He enjoyed your company a bit more. Your laugh was infectious and you were a lot easier on the eyes, of course. When you two stop for a break, he watches as you look for four-leaf clovers on the forest floor. When you find one, you pick it up and bring it over to his hunched-down frame. 

“My mom used to say they were for love and luck,” You explain, “Think you need it for both.”

He knew you were joking by the way you giggle and return to your spot on the ground. He just shakes his head and sticks the clover in his jacket pocket. 

-

He was dreading being back in Salt Lake. He doesn’t want to relive that day when Ellie was practically ripped from him. It sent him spiraling just thinking about all the outcomes that could’ve transpired that day. 

He contemplates telling you for a few brief seconds. 

He wouldn’t have much to lose, especially now that everything is said and done. But then fear takes over and he wonders, would you judge him for it?

He imagines how you would react. How your nose would probably scrunch up, how your disposition towards him would soon contort into horror. You would probably call him a monster. You would probably never look at him the same way, with that beautiful smile and attentive gaze.

“You okay, Joel?”

You two were positioned on the edge of some woods off a dirt road. Joel didn’t want to attract anyone with fire, so you two decided you would just camp on the ground near the highway you would end up following to get into the city. 

“‘M all good,” He practically whispers, “Just tired. You mind gettin’ first watch?”

You just silently nod, watching him rise from his spot and move over to the sleeping bags you two had set up when you arrived. You watch as he awkwardly wiggles his large frame into a small sack. It makes you giggle a bit. He positions himself with his back to you, his front facing into the woods. He can’t spend his time staring at you like he would like to, he needs to sleep. 

You realize he has a leaf stuck on the back of his head. You couldn’t help yourself, it was going to bother you for as long as you were awake. You stand up and slowly creep up to him. 

You squat down and pluck the leaf out of his thick curls. His head snatches back at you, knitting his brows together in confusion. 

Secretly deep down, you just wanted to find a reason to touch him. 

“Can I help you?”

You give him a shit-eating grin, “Yeah, you just got leaves in your hair. It was going to bother me if I didn’t get it out. You’re very, very welcome.”

He rolls his eyes, “Can I sleep now?”

“Don’t know, I’m already getting bored without you glaring at me.”

You were now on a mission to annoy him, he guesses. 

Without thinking, he responds with a comment that would stick with you all night. 

“Yeah, you like it when I look at you, don’t ya?”

-

The homestretch was only about another 20 miles. You and Joel had made good time, only taking about three days to get to the hospital. After the subtle flirting with Joel the night before, you got a little more ambitious with your advances. 

Before you two took off to get to your destination, you asked Joel if you could change your clothes. You had mud all over your jeans and your shirt was reeking of body odor. The natural deodorants that were handmade in Jackson only did so much. 

“Yeah, make it quick,” He orders, pointing to a more private area of the camp, “There’s some bushes over there.”

“I’m not getting dressed in a bush, Joel. Just look away,” You test, already shrugging off your flannel. He notices your bold move, instantly peeling his eyes away from your direction. This can not be happening to him right now. 

“What the hell,” He murmurs, his hands propped up on his hips, “You’re doin’ this on purpose.”

You feel your cheeks heat up, “Doing what on purpose?”

“Testin’ me. Me and my patience.”

You throw your shirt over your head and grab one of your spare ones from your pack, “Well, if it’s a test, you’re passing with flying colors, Miller.”

He glances back at you without even really thinking, spotting you in your bra with a shirt covering your eyes. It’s almost like when you tell a child not to press a button, and it makes them want to do it even more.

He wanted to keep looking. 

“Fuck,” He says under his breath, trying to push those types of thoughts out of his mind. 

You shimmy off your pants, folding them as soon as you get them off your legs. You needed a shower so bad, you felt so filthy. 

“You think we could stop back at the cabin on the way home? I want to bathe.”

Thinking about you naked and taking a bath made his dick hard. 

“Yes,” He manages to say, “Hurry up, please!”

You grin at his frustration, “Fine, fine. I’m almost done.”

-

You and Joel trot along an abandoned highway, cars littering every lane. It was nothing new to you. You have seen plenty of cities in your lifetime. Each time was a bit different, but for the most part, they were all the same. Riddled with infected and bombed to shit. 

You think back to when Tommy said Joel had been here before. Your mind starts to wonder, and being that you still had a couple of hours before you got to see the actual hospital, you decide to speak up and ask. 

“When was the last time you were here?”

He thinks for a second. He was waiting for these questions. 

“Over a year ago.”

You shake your head, “Was there a reason?”

You had no business prying into Joel’s life, but you felt like after spending days with him, there was some kinship. Maybe even a friendship.

“Ellie’s mom was a Firefly. They had a base camp out here,” He explains, but would he go further? Would he spill all the beans?

It’s technically not his story to tell. But then again, Ellie didn’t even have the truth, so it was a story only he knew. 

You wait before responding, “Did you find her?”

“Who?”

“Ellie’s mom,” You press, glancing around some cars. You are trying to act like you didn’t care, but you could tell from the moment you entered the outskirts of the city, Joel was plagued with the weight of the atmosphere. His shoulders got heavier, his eyebrows further knitted together. He was tense. 

“No, she’s dead. So I brought her home,” He says, half-bending the truth. He’s lying, but not really. Ellie’s mom was dead but that was never the reason they came out here. He just wants to say it, but his chest feels like a weight is pushing down, almost cracking his ribs. He swallowed the guilt. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

You didn’t have much else to say, letting the silence eat away at the prickle of your arm hairs as they stood up. You try to relax, but now that you are in the city, it feels real. You traveled all this way for medication so Jackson would not shun you. It sounded kind of stupid, coming all this way in hopes of a stocked Firefly hospital. 

You also traveled all this way with Joel Miller. You managed to speak to him without tripping over every word and poking fun at him. You watched him sleep at night, looking so peaceful in the woods surrounding him. You try to think about the last time you saw him smile. You saw him differently, now. He came all this way to help you and your dad. He is risking a lot, disregarding his duties back home, just so he can be with you and protect you. 

You ponder if things will be different when you get home. Maybe he would talk to you more when he came to the Tipsy Bison. Maybe he would wave back at you when you saw him around town. 

You secretly hoped being next to him for so long would change your relationship with him. 

Joel starts to ride next to you, studying your face as you stare forward. 

“What are you thinkin’ bout so hard over there?” He poses, watching your face twist when he speaks up. 

You lick your lips, “Thinking about what it’s gonna be like when I get home.”

“What do ya’ mean?”

You halt your horse to look over at him. He does the same. 

“We came all this way and I am scared when we get back, you won’t want to talk to me anymore.”

He shakes his head, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, “Kiddo, your dad’s my patrol partner. ‘Course, I’ll still talk to you. You’re always around.”

The nickname makes you cringe. You don’t want to be a kid to him. 

“Right, of course.”

-

When you get to the edge of the city, Joel starts explaining the game plan. How you will get to the hospital, do your sweep as quick as you can, and don’t meander around. He also explains how the exit plan is to drop everything, no matter what, and return to the horses. You see someone? Run. 

You want to say you know how to handle yourself, but you resist and just nod in understanding. 

To your surprise, you two do not run into any hoards. You turn a corner and spot a couple of infected twitching near an old school, and you two carefully back up and go up another block to avoid them altogether. You two don’t say anything to each other as you spot the hospital in the distance. Joel just points forward, having you trot at his side. 

You pull out your gun when you start to hear some clicking nearby. Joel gestures to you to be quiet and continues to the front of the hospital. You two ride your horses to the ambulance drop-off, parking them there. When you jump down, you start to grab your pack so you can fill it with whatever supplies you find. Joel does the same, throwing his leather backpack over his shoulder. You check the magazine of your gun and take off the safety. 

“Okay, we stay close to each other,” He explains in a hushed tone, “Grab whatever you think we need.”

You wiggle your head in agreement. He raises his rifle as you two enter the side door. The hospital is quiet besides the wind blowing through some shattered windows. You click on your flashlight that is attached to your backpack, making sure it’s pointed forward. The main corridor leads you down to some triage rooms and nurse's stations. Joel gestures to you to check out some triage rooms. You find some bandages and some tongue presses. You grab the entire box of bandages and stuff them in your bag. When you return to the hall, Joel is stuffing some of his finds in his pack. 

“No meds yet,” He grumbles. You two press forward, keeping your steps silent. You find some lab rooms off the main hallway and you two scope out each room carefully, your guns still drawn and at the ready. You find more items; some gloves, masks, and some scissors. You pick them up, stuffing them in your back. 

You hear movement from behind you and quickly spin. It’s just Joel, holding a couple of vials of medication. You rush towards him, using your light to see what the vials read. 

levofloxacin 

amoxicillin

“Jackpot,” You murmur, “Any more?”

He grabs a baggie sitting on a table nearby, “Not that I saw.”

You continue searching, not finding much of anything in the drawers. A lot of the stuff is picked through. 

You point to a central staircase, “Wanna go up?”

“Yeah, right behind you.”

Joel was reeling, spotting some areas where blood was splattered across the walls as he walked through the hospital. It was terrifying to put himself back in this exact spot. It felt like a fever dream. Now he had you with him, another person he cared too much about to admit to anybody, let alone himself. He cared about you in a whole different way than he cared about Ellie. 

You trail up the stairs, finding some old labs and nurse's stations. All were picked through. You couldn’t help but notice the blood all over the floor in some areas. You try to figure out what could have transpired here, but you don’t even try to beg the question to Joel. With the look on his face, you are afraid to say much of anything. 

Something bad happened here and he was a witness to it. 

It made you want to hurry up and spare his feelings. Instead of taking careful and methodical steps, you run room to room searching drawers and counters for anything of value. You find some alcohol swabs, safety pins, and some wrist splints. When you get to the last room in the hallway you’re in, you hit the jackpot. It’s a cabinet with some vials. 

You start to quietly read them off to Joel who’s standing on the threshold of the room. 

“Grab them all,” He says, pulling his pack off his shoulder so you can put some into his, “We can find use for ‘em.”

You also find some sutures and unopened syringes. You wish you could get down on your knees and thank whatever god is up there for blessing you with everything. You don’t believe in that though, so instead you excitingly grab Joel’s arm and shake it. 

“Let’s get this all home,” You smile, pressing your fingers harder into his bicep, “Maybe celebrate with something strong from the bar.”

Then you hear it. 

Click. Click. Click. 

Joel grabs your arm back, shoving you behind him. He slings his pack over his shoulder and you do the same. You never had many issues with killing infected, but you did not know what you were dealing with. It was dark and all too quiet for too long. Joel creeps forward, his gun drawn forward to peek out the door. When you do the same, he tucks you back behind him. 

Lining the hallway is about 3 clickers. Your stomach drops as they slowly make their way to the sounds you two made seconds ago. Joel glances back at you, his face very serious and stern. 

You can read the look on his face and being that you dealt with these fuckers before, you know that you need to be silent. He looks back down the hall, spotting an exit in a staircase that’s slightly blocked by one of the clickers. He waves you along as he slowly tiptoes down the hallway. You get closer and closer to the first clicker and your gun is trained right at them as you keep your distance. You can tell by the clothing that it was a woman at one time, the infection growing out of every crevice of her body. 

She clicks and clicks, but does not attack you. You and Joel continue, not making a sound as you shuffle past the next one. But once you get close to the one closest to the door, something snaps and it’s like they all realize exactly all at once. One squeals and the others follow suit. Joel yells for you to run, but you don’t budge, emptying your gun into the closest one. It crumbles to the ground. With that one down, Joel grips your wrist tightly and flings you towards the door. You two rush out as Joel lights up the hallway with gunfire. 

You now know that you’re attracting every infected in a mile radius so time is of the essence. You practically fall down the stairs trying to get to the bottom. Joel does not like how fast you moving, pressing you to run faster. You two sprint down the hallway as two runners come full speed at you from an opposing hallway. You try to shoot but your gun is empty. You scream for Joel to do something and he puts them down expertly. He’s spot on even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins. You find the door you came in from and quickly make your way to Ranger. He seems sort of spooked so you try to gingerly climb up him, grabbing his reigns from the pole you tied him to. Joel is quick to mount his horse. He pulls his horse back, guiding it to head back the way you guys came. 

You follow suit, hearing stirring from all around you as your hair whips in the wind. You are not worrying about the noise you two are making now, galloping down the once-busy streets of Salt Lake City. 

“Don’t stop til’ I say so!” Joel calls out. You can hardly hear with your heartbeat in your ears and the wind against your ear drum. 

You get to the edge of the city after about 20 minutes of dodging left-behind cars and random barriers. You get to the point where the foliage takes over and the infected taper off. You don’t realize it until you start slowing down and your heart gets back to its normal pace, you’re freezing. 

You yell out for Joel, who’s still going quite fast. He halts completely, letting you catch up with his step. 

“We have to stop, I’m freezing.”

You weren’t wearing all your layers and you knew it would be detrimental if you didn’t stop to wrap up before you two continued your journey. Joel nods, trotting off the main part of the road into some woods. 

When you get off your horse, you can feel Joel’s eyes lock onto your vibrating body. 

“Jesus, girl,” He dismounts, wrapping his reigns around a nearby branch, “The wind do you that much damage?”

You can’t help but laugh as you rifle through your pack to find your extra layers. You can remember packing two thermals, but with the way you’re shaking, you can’t even grip onto the clothes to move them around to search. You don’t even realize Joel has come to your side, you only notice when he nudges your side with his three fingers. You move out of his way so he can look, but you can’t help but feel the warmth his gentle touch gives you on your hip. 

He pulls out a thermal, handing it out to you. 

“Just put it over your other long sleeve,” He instructs, digging for another layer for you. You take his advice and throw it over your head. When your head pops through the neck hole, you spot him smirking at you. 

“If you don’t warm up soon, I may have to share my body heat so we can get back on the road,” Joel jokes, watching you pull your hair out of the back of your long sleeve. You didn’t hate the sound of that, truthfully. 

“Guess I will try my best not to warm up then.”

He shakes his head, grabbing onto your other thermal, “You can’t say stuff like that to me, darling.”

“Why not?”

Joel has slipped up a couple of times already, he wasn’t planning on giving in. But the teasing was fun and light-hearted. He knew in his heart it was not going to turn into anything. 

Right?

“Because I don’t think it’s a very good idea for us to talk like that to one another,” He explains, stepping back as you add the other shirt onto your already warming body, “May lead us somewhere we can’t come back from.”

You swallow, “Maybe I’d like that.”

-

It takes you a day and a half to get back to the cabin. Joel promised that you two could spend a whole day there if need be. You two were physically and mentally exhausted. The horses needed rest too, you could tell Ranger was beat. 

When you arrive on the property, Joel makes sure to scope out a radius before you two settle in. Ever since the sly passes you made at him, he’s been more quiet. You can tell he’s deep in thought. Maybe it wasn’t about you, but he had something on his mind. 

You use the fire stove to warm up some water from the lake to give yourself a quick “bath”. You just used an old rag and some bar soap to scrub your limbs, trying to get off all the caked-on dirt. Joel stayed outside by the fire, cooking up some squirrels he was able to trap. You stood in your undergarments, lathering your skin, watching him from the window as he poked at the fire. 

You felt a bit better once you were clean. The growl in your stomach was dull and kind of painful. You needed to eat, so you got your dirty clothes back on and headed outside to prop yourself up next to Joel. 

When you open the cabin door, his head snaps over to you. 

“Howdy, cowboy,” You gleam, walking down to the stump next to him. You couldn’t help but flirt now. It was funny to watch him squirm, the glint in his eyes not hard to notice. 

“You all clean?”

You nod, giving him a cheeky smile. “Yeah, now you go get yourself all cleaned up.”

He grabs his stick poker, “Don’t got any soap.”

“Use mine.”

Joel stops his motion immediately to train his eyes back on you. “You want me to smell like you?”

“Well, I smell delicious, so why not?”

He scans your body with his eyes, “Cause if we get home and your Dad smells your soap on me, he’ll put it bullet between my eyes.”

You know he’s being dramatic, finding any excuse to opt out of using the soap you just used on your body. 

“So, what you’re saying is,” You clear your throat before continuing, “If my dad wasn’t your friend, you’d lather yourself with my soap?”

He contemplates for a moment, “Yeah, and other things.”

Your heart stops beating for a second. Joel can not help but smirk at your reaction. He was playing with fire, literally and figuratively. The tension between you two was so heavy, that you do not think you could even take a deep breath in. 

He stands up from his spot next to you. “Why don’t ya eat, sweet thing? I have to clean myself up, I guess.”

-

Joel can not do this. 

You were his friend’s daughter. Sure you were grown, beautiful, strong-willed, and everything he could want and more but he could not take advantage of you. The only way he felt this way right now was because tensions were so high back in Salt Lake. You two have spent a lot of time together, the hormones… what the fuck is he thinking?

You sit by the fire, your stomach doing back flips as you think about Joel in the cabin, by himself, practically half naked. 

Why were you doing this to yourself?

Your heart is racing faster than it ever has. No clicker, no stranger, nothing has made you this nervous. Your hand reaches for the door handle, but before you can turn it, Joel rips open the door. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

You stand there, dumbfounded. “I-I don’t know.”

He’s standing over you, his chest rising faster the more you keep your eyes trained on him. He has a green flannel on, the top couple of buttons undone. You lift your hand to touch the skin peeking through, but he stops your movements before you can make contact. You note the scent of wood burning in the cabin and it’s a lot warmer than you left it. Joel must have started the stove again. 

“We can’t.”

You shake your head, “No, we can’t, can we?”

You two know better. You know better. You know better. 

You are breathing in each other’s spaces. You don’t even want to look him in the eyes. His arm snakes around your midsection, pulling you forward into the cabin. At that moment, you knew that you two didn’t know any better. 

It’s almost like you two silently made the decision. 

“We can’t tell anyone about this, sweet girl,” He whispers, his hands still firmly on your back. You could not resist this temptation anymore. He was right in front of you, wanting you just as badly as you wanted him. 

Your eyes glance up at his dark sultry gaze, “It’s our little secret.”

His hand reaches up, gracing your chin with his touch. When he dips down to meet your height, you finally get bold and extend your hand up and around his neck. Your lips connect and you feel like a million little butterflies explode in your stomach. You had never desired a kiss from anyone as much as you did with Joel. 

He’s eager and impatient, though. He’s not as soft as you imagined for a man who hardly spoke. He just wants to feel you everywhere, all at once. His mouth melts into yours, his tongue exploring every inch of yours. He’s moving you around the room, stumbling over furniture and shoes as he backs you into the large wooden bed frame. 

“So fuckin’ perfect,” He mumbles into your lips as soon as he lifts you up onto the mattress. It catches you by surprise, mainly because you never expected him to manhandle you in this way. He’s hungry for every inch of you. After all these months of secretly pining for him and him not giving you any positive response, you never anticipated something like this happening. Especially at a time like this. 

“Joel,” You whine, pulling him down on top of you as you fall back into the flannel blankets, “I need you everywhere.”

He grins peppering kisses down your neck, “Don’t worry, I will treat you so fuckin’ good. Been wantin’ you for so long.”

It was so filthy and hot. Your dad’s patrol partner, his best friend. Keen to make you feel good? And wanting it for a while? You must be imagining his words because you can’t even comprehend the situation. 

But it’s true. Joel’s secretly been watching you when you’re not looking. When you sling drinks on Friday nights, he watches you from a booth in the corner. Tommy’s caught him a couple of times, smacking him and reminding him that you were off limits. When you came to his house with extra pot pie or soup, he would watch you walk away from his house from his living room window. 

This taboo yearning kept him up at night. But now, he has you alone and he needs a taste. 

He pulls back to look at your face, “Are you sure you want me?”

You can’t help but giggle a bit. 

“Joel, I’ve been wanting you for longer than I would like to admit,” You purse your lips as you bring your hand up to trace his collarbone, “Think about you all the time.”

It was the truth. Your mind was taken up but all his little sly comments. The way he would drop anything to help you or your dad. His beautiful brown eyes didn’t help one bit either.

“My god, girl…Gonna have me cumming in my jeans like a teenager.”

He returns to laying kisses all along your body. It started with wet kisses down your neck, only for it to trail right where your shirt begins, right below your collarbones. You push him back for a moment, taking your shirt off over your head. He watched you carefully, ensuring there was no hesitancy with your actions. He wanted to be absolutely positive that this is what you wanted. 

As soon as you reach for the clasp of your bra, Joel grabs your arms away. 

“Let me,” He mumbles, letting his fingers trace along the seam of the black fabric before using his right hand to undo the back. With him this close to you again, you inhale sharply, catching the scent of your soap. 

“See you took up my offer,” You tease, letting your bra fall down your shoulders, “Did you get clean just for this, Miller?”

He catches a glimpse of you under the bra and his mind goes blank. You notice his change in disposition and decide it’s best to discard every other article of clothing completely. You struggle to get your jeans off, so he helps by practically ripping them off your legs. He can’t help but spot the soak undies attached to your jeans. When you are bare under him, he gawks at you for a moment. 

“A beautiful woman like you,” He shakes his head, biting his lip. He unbuckles his pants before he stands and shoves them down his legs. While he’s making an effort to get as naked as you, you start unbuttoning his flannel. He watches you take your time, thumbing each button slowly. He tilts your head back up, his eyes leering at you for a moment. “And you want someone like me?”

You know he’s probably in his own head, so you feel the need to prove to him, that yes this is what I want. 

You grab onto his neck and pull him back down into a passionate kiss. When you notice him give in, you use all your might to push him sideways and onto his back next to you. You mount his lap immediately, holding him down with your body weight. Your soaked slit trudges over his large hard-on while you dip your head to capture his lips. You feel his hands trail up the sides of your body, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He finds your boobs, palming them with his warm calloused hands. You were extra sensitive so as soon as his fingers find your nipples, you’re moaning into his mouth. 

When your hips jet forward, his tip slides between your pussy lips. The sensation sends him into overdrive, his grip on your waist getting tighter. He’s so fucking big. 

“No foreplay, you just wanna grind your pussy right onto my cock?” His question sends shockwaves through your body and you raise your hips up off his crotch. You kneel over him, anticipating to rotate your pelvis back onto him, but he has other ideas. 

Because Joel has been thinking about what you taste like for too long. He can’t just fuck you. He lays back, all the while, dragging you up to his chest so your pussy is hovering over his pursed lips. 

“Joel, what are you doing?”

You feel his hot breath huff onto your slick center, “I’m gonna devour this beautiful pussy, first. Need to get you warmed up.”

Without any warning, he wraps his arms around your thighs and pushes your center closer to his outstretched tongue. You gasp when he starts to run his tongue up and down your slit. You can’t help but settle around his face, your knees feeling like they may already give out. 

You’ve never sat on someone’s face and watched them eat you out like a starved man. But Joel is precise with his motions, his mouth wrapping around your clit. When he starts to suck, the suction noise makes you whimper and shake. You have only ever cum by your own hand, so when the familiar heat rises in your stomach, you know instantly this is going to be the best sex you’ve ever had in your life. 

Joel is a very easy man to please. He thoroughly enjoys watching women crumble above him, their orgasms surging through their bodies while his tongue is pressed into them. But with you, he wants to drudge it out of you over and over again. You’re so magnetic on top of him, your head thrown back in pleasure. Your hands rest on your shoulders as you grind down on him, your peak teetering the edge. He shimmies his hand in between your thighs and begins to use his fingers in you, just to drive you crazier. He’s fucking up into you with his pointer and middle fingers, managing to latch onto your clit while he does. 

When you tumble into bliss, Joel moans into you, egging on your spasms. You lurch forward, dragging your center off his drenched lips. Your legs are limp as you try to crawl up the bed. Joel rolls over, creeping up the bed with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up onto some of the pillows. 

“Do you need a break?” He asks, his hands feeling up your bare, still kind of shaking, thighs. You shake your head “yes” and breathe out loudly. Your body is covered in a light sheen, the sweat pooling around your hairline. Joel lets you take a moment, making sure you are completely ready for him. 

When you finally meet his eyes, your stomach fills with butterflies. He’s admiring you from his position, his eyes not finding yours until he’s done checking out your bare chest. You giggle, tugging on his wrists. He takes up your advances, positioning himself above you. He’s caging you in with his tanned strong arms, only allowing you to really move your upper body. You tangle your hands through his messy dark peppered curls, which makes him sigh. He secretly loved it when women felt through his hair. 

“Fuck me,” He groans as he reaches down between you, grabbing ahold of his hard member. You watch as he drags it through your heat, gathering all your wetness before teasing your entrance. 

“Joel, please.”

He smirks, pushing in just his tip, “Please what, baby girl? You want me to give you all of it?”

You are already overstimulated after your last orgasm and you are a bit nervous to imagine what all of it is. You nod, though, because the stretch is already so delicious. 

“Please, Joel, please. I need it,” You whine, knowing how desperate you sound. It’s music to Joel’s ears. 

“Shh, baby,” He eases in further, “I told you I’m gonna treat you real good. Gonna treat this pussy, so fuckin’ good.”

When he’s fully sheathed in you, your nails are digging into his shoulders. When he eases back to pull out some to ensure you can take it, you’re a moaning mess. It only eggs him on, feeling how slick you are and how tight you are around him. 

“That’s right baby, take all of me,” He says as he lifts himself off you. You have nothing to grip onto now, except the sheets that line the queen-sized bed. Joel wants to watch himself slip out of you and go back into you with ease. You love the friction, but you know you need more. 

You don’t know how, but it’s like he reads your mind. He starts to increase his pace, holding onto the back of your thighs as he drills into you. The curvature of his dick hits exactly where no man could ever reach. 

“Oh my god, fuck Joel! Fuck!”

Your words only encourage him to go harder and faster.

“Keep screamin’ my name, baby doll.”

The sweat is dripping down his face with how much effort he’s putting into fucking you. You’re floored at how quickly your orgasm builds again, the sounds of him plowing into you alone sends you into overdrive. 

As soon as you start to vibrate under him, Joel takes that as a great time to start thumbing at your clit. You feel every one of your nerve endings burning with such rapture, that you can’t even say anything. You’re just howling, no coherent words even coming out. Your vision goes white.

The scene is something out of the old pornos Joel used to watch. You’re writhing under him, the orgasm practically sending you cross-eyed. You reach up to anchor yourself down and the only thing you can find to grab is Joel’s forearm. 

“Yes, Joel!”

His hips continue to snap into yours as you squeeze his cock with your gyrating hips. He’s fucking you through it, watching your face contort. Your grip on his arm hurts, but he does not care. It’s unbelievably hot to watch the girl he has adored from afar cumming around him. Over and over. 

The scene is enough to have him chasing down his own high. The feeling of your cunt gripping onto him so tight, while his name is chanted from your lips, the cum practically shoots out of him before he has time to grab his shaft and pull out. He does not empty himself in you though, quickly prying himself out of your weeping hole and spilling out the rest onto your stomach. 

“Shit.”

You don’t even realize what happened, not caring about really anything except for how wonderful and high you feel. Joel tumbles onto his side, half of his body resting on yours. His mouth is close to your ear so he whispers it to you, his voice shaky. 

“I came inside you.”

You lick your lips, trying to regain some saliva in your mouth, “I do not care, Joel.”

He does not prefer that answer, but he accepts it for the time being. You could not feel your face at the moment, you did not have time to worry yourself over Joel cumming inside you. It was not the first time someone did that. 

Joel rolls off the bed, his legs feeling wobbly with his first steps. He’s still half hard and stumbling over to the bowl of water he just used to clean off himself. He grabs a clean rag and soaks it in the soapy water. The least he could do was clean up his mess. 

You watch him trudge over to you, the cum still pooled on your stomach and a bit in your belly button. 

Joel places the warm towel on your lower tummy, wiping up his mess. 

“Thanks,” You manage to say, your post-orgasm haze wearing off a bit. Now you’re just cold and exhausted. You shiver as soon as he removes the towel from your buzzing body. He notes it immediately and grabs the blanket that had been kicked to the floor. He lays it over you, making sure your full nude body is covered by the chilly air. 

“I need to go take a leak, I’ll be right back.”

You try to stay awake. But as soon as he gets some clothes on and heads outside to relieve himself, you’re lulled to sleep by the sounds of the rustling woods that surround the cabin. 

-

When you slowly open your eyes, you instantly notice how dry your mouth is. The itchy fabric of the blanket is tickling your bare limbs as you shift. Joel’s not beside you. 

You sit up, glancing around the cabin. His stuff is still here, but he is not. You keep the scratchy blanket wrapped around you as you plant your bare feet on the wooden floor. As soon as you take your first step forward towards the front door, it slowly swings open. 

Joel stands there, fully clothed, cheeks reddened from the cold outdoors. 

“Mornin’,” He says with a sleepy voice, “Got up early to get the horses fed and saddled up.”

All you remember is him going to pee outside last night, right before you fell asleep. “Did you ever come to bed last night?”

“Yeah, only got a couple of hours of sleep. You took up most of the bed.”

You clear your throat, becoming hyper-aware suddenly that you are very naked under the blanket. Joel tries not to notice your natural sensuality when you wake up. Sleepy eyes, swollen lips, slightly tangled hair. Even if last night never happened, he would be completely enamored by you. 

“Oh, okay,” You mutter, trying to act natural about the fact that you slept with Joel fucking Miller last night. “We all set then?”

He shuts the front door, cutting off any more cold from slipping in. You watch him slowly start to invade your space. He feels pulled towards you, the gravity overcoming every sense he has. He needs to be close to you, touching you, feeling you. 

“Yeah, we are all set.”

Chills run down your spine when his cold hand reaches out and grazes your cheek. You flick your eyelashes towards him, not knowing what to say next. He dips down to your height, kissing your lips carefully. He is nervous you will back away from him, but you don’t. You lean forward into him, the weight of your entire body pressing into him. 

He is the first to pull away, but you swear you could be latched onto him forever. His big brown eyes are lasered in on your eager lips, but in the back of his mind, he knows that you two need to get back home soon. He promised Tommy four days, nothing more. And you needed to get home to your Dad. Fuck. Your Dad. His fuckin’ friend. 

“We have to get home,” Is all he says. 

And then he’s gone. It’s like he blipped out of the room. You blink and the door slams and you are alone again. 

-

You stumble out of the cabin with your backpack on, your eyes adjusting to the sunshine between the falling away leaves. Winter creeps in so quickly in Wyoming, you think to yourself. 

Joel is already posted up on his horse, waiting for you to hurry along and join him. You pet Ranger for a moment before you hop up onto his back. He can’t help but realize how perfect you seemed in the sunlight. Your face hasn’t aged with time like his. It makes sense because you’re so much younger than him. You’ve lived a very full and traumatic life, sure, but you still had a lot more energy to live. He couldn’t picture that you’d want to spend the rest of it with an older guy with maybe 20 more years left in him if you’re lucky. 

The thoughts start to eat away at him as you two make your way through the forest. 

You assume he’s just tired from not getting a lot of sleep, so you just keep your lips sealed until you make it to the main trail back home. 

“So, when we get home,” You break the quietness with your open-ended statement. Joel doesn’t know what you’re insinuating, so he just keeps his head forward. “What happens, then?”

He pulls back his horse's reins to position himself looking directly at you. 

“What do you mean?”

You look at him suspiciously, “Do we tell people?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Joel thinks. 

“Tell them what?”

He has to be messing, right? You think. 

But no, he’s deadly serious. 

“About us,” You remark as Ranger trots a bit closer to Joel. He shakes his head and your heart sinks. He can’t do this, not after you two slept together. 

“There is no us,” He grumbles, unable to look you in the eyes anymore, “We can’t do that. You’re too young.”

If you weren’t on a horse, you would’ve already smacked him. “What the hell, Joel? What if you get in my pants and make me feel special and now we are nothing? Because I’m a little bit younger than you?”

“No, it’s not like that-”

“Well, it seems like it is like that,” You bite the inside of your cheeks, holding back every instinct to burst into tears, “Fuckin’ asshole. I should’ve known better.”

-

When the walls of Jackson come into your line of sight, you could cry with excitement. Your hands were shaking, not only from the cold but the nerves. You had been silent the entire ride back. Your only desire was to get home to your Dad and ignore Joel Miller for the rest of your life. 

You can only hope and pray that your father is on the mend. To keep on track and not let panic take over, you’ve tried to put your mind on other things this whole trip. Most of those things you wish you’d forgotten, already. 

The doors open when you two get close. When the crack is big enough to see through, you spot some familiar faces waiting for you. Tommy, Maria, and even your father. He’s standing up straight, wrapped in layers of jackets and blankets. You tap Ranger with your foot, getting him to speed up. When you reach about 30 feet away, you practically fall off him to get your arms around your father. 

A sense of relief floods your body. A tidal wave of happiness and solace. He’s okay. He’s alive. 

When his scent reaches your nose, it triggers your tear ducts. After years of never having to really worry about him, knowing he can handle himself, you have felt this constant state of uneasiness the last week. 

“My baby is back,” He grumbles into your hair, his arms locking around you, “I knew I could trust that Joel.”

You don’t have time to feel guilt over your actions, you’re just so happy he’s upright. You also don’t want to hear his God-forsaken name from your own Dad. When you pull back to inspect his face, you note the tiredness in his eyes. He looks better, but not his normal. You grab each end of the blanket that’s slowly slipping off his shoulders and bundle him tighter. 

“Let’s get you back in the warm, how ‘bout it?”

You glance back at Joel who just nods, knowingly. You remember that you still have your backpack on, so before you stroll away, you shimmy out of it. Tommy watches you carefully as you hand it off to Joel. 

“Get those meds to the infirmary,” You whisper to no one in particular. Joel studies your face, waiting for you to say something else. You do not. As he grabs your pack, you feel like Maria and Tommy are gawking at you two. Like they know something was left unsaid. 

You two move differently around each other. When you shift one direction, Joel follows suit. 

Joel feels like every eye in Jackson is on him. Tommy’s being the most piercing, watching him like a hawk as he grabs his horse and guides him towards the stables. While you stroll away with Maria and your father, Joel and Tommy bring the horses and supplies to the stables. 

As you walk, you listen to Maria explain your father’s steady recovery. She mentions how Ellie has been keeping a careful eye on him. After she heard you and Joel were going to be gone together, she asked Maria if she could help him somehow. Once your dad got well enough to walk, she got him settled in your house. She’d go over there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, just to help. It makes your heart swell when you hear your dad say how kind and generous she was, just like you. 

-

Joel starts to unpack your bags from your horse first when he gets the horses parked. 

“Somethin’ happen out there?” Tommy presses, noticing how odd you and Joel moved in front of him, “With her?”

“No, nothin’,” He lies, placing your bags on a table near Ranger. When he lifted the first duffle bag, he got a whiff of you and it made his stomach sink. “We just had a rough spot in the hospital. Clickers and shit. Nothin’ too crazy-”

“Joel, I know when you’re lyin’ to me,” His eyes are shooting daggers now. Joel was too old to be pestered by his little brother. He groans in annoyance but Tommy does not give up, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do nothin’, Tommy.”

“Bullshit,” He grumbles, grabbing one of your bags, “Want me to ask her?”

“You won’t get anythin’ out of her. She’s mad at me, okay? She is pissed I won’t…”

He feels humiliated, his stomach twisting into knots. He would never intentionally hurt you. He just put his foot in his mouth when he realized how much your actions would change everything for him. He could not just be someone you slept with. He could not just leave it. 

“You won’t what, Joel?”

He bites his lip, not wanting to say it out loud. 

“I won’t let her ruin her life for me.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrow, not completely understanding what he’s droning on about. 

“What?”

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” Joel wasn’t anticipating a shake-down when he got home. You two really didn’t help with those looks splattered across your faces when you rolled into Jackson.

“You slept with her, didn’t you?”

Joel shakes his head, peeling his eyes away from Tommy. Joel knew nothing could get past him, so he is practically surrendering. Tommy knew then. 

“You dumbass,” He whispers, getting closer to Joel, “You slept with her when her daddy is your patrol partner? After I told you to stay away?”

Joel clenches his teeth, “I don’t need this right now. I’m gettin’ these meds to the infirmary and then I’m takin’ her stuff to her.”

“Joel-”

“Just fuckin’ drop it, Tommy. I ain’t doin’ this.”

-

Your Dad has a nice setup, thanks to Ellie. She has transformed the downstairs guest room into a wonderful stay, with tons of pillows and bedside service. When you get inside the house, Ellie is there. She stands in the corner of the living room, timidly, as you guide your dad back to his warm bed. Maria and her wait for you to handle getting him back to his bedroom. Even though his recovery has been a steady incline, he’s very weak and exhausted all the time. It’s his body’s reaction to fighting a rough illness, but he made sure to reassure you that Sidney told him it’ll be a couple of weeks before he’s 100% back to normal. 

You get him back in bed, his eyes already drooping to find slumber again. You manage to get his shoes off and help him under his covers. Once his head hits the pillow, you stand by the bed for a minute to ensure he’s actually sleeping. You slip out of the room, and the sudden rush of comfort of being home takes over your senses. To hear the crackling of the fireplace, and the smell of your homemade candles. While you enjoyed every moment spent with Joel, there’s nothing like home. 

For a second there, you thought you had that same feeling being next to him in bed. But maybe you were wrong. 

You walk out to where Maria and Ellie stand. They are mumbling to each other while you kick off your boots by the door. 

“Hey, Ellie,” You catch her attention, her freckled face down turning with concern. You smile, trying to ease her, “Thank you for all you’ve done here. I am glad he had someone like you looking after him.”

She nods, her lips twitching, “It’s no problem at all. I know how much you two mean to Joel and I just wanted to do what I could.”

Hearing his name sinks your heart, “We owe ya one.”

Because you did. No matter what would eventually transpire between you and Joel, you owe him your father’s life. His idea saved him. With how sick he was, Joel’s quick plan was enough to bring him home. Then for Ellie to spend her days looking after him while you two were gone? You were forever indebted to them. Sadly. 

“Well, we should leave you to get settled. Let us know if you need anything at all,” Maria gestures to Ellie towards the front door. Their footsteps trail around you, heading to your front door. Before Ellie can reach for the handle, there’s a knock. You nod your head, letting her know it’s okay to open it. 

Joel stands there, your bags in his hands. 

You honestly just left your belongings for him to deal with. Joel looks down at Ellie, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. She’s not as impressed, initially. 

“Hey kiddo,” Joel acknowledges, before spotting Maria, “Mrs. Miller.”

“We were just heading out,” Maria says, pushing the door wider so she and Ellie can slip by his large frame, “Give the girl her things and let her settle back into her life, huh?”

Joel was already annoyed at the narrowed eyes and judgemental jabs. It’s like everyone somehow knew he fucked up. 

You two watch Maria and Ellie leave, their breaths forming clouds in the cold sharp air. Jackson’s weather changed overnight, you think, remembering how it was more tolerable before you left. 

“Can I come in?” Joel ponders, still holding your backpack and duffle. 

It was cold and while you wanted to slam the door on him, you know you can’t. You move away from the threshold, gesturing for him to come in. His footfalls are heavy and drawn out. You shut the door, waving him towards the living room so your voices don’t carry down the hallway to your father’s newly set up bedroom. 

He places your bags on the couch before he stretches his shoulders in discomfort. Your stuff was not that heavy, but Joel could not help but try to draw your attention. He glances around your living room, taking in some of the artwork and photos that line the walls. Some are old photos of you and your father, in which you don’t really resemble him at all. 

“Back to how things were, huh?” You remark, bitterly. You wanted to attack him with every mean thing plaguing your mind, but you don’t. You were tired from all the travels but you were also tired of the idea of fighting for someone who does not care to fight for you back. You had done that for years with pointless boys. 

The whole walk to your house, Joel’s thoughts were moving a million miles a minute. He did not want you to live your life resenting him. He cared for you deeply, but he did not want you to miss out on all the wonders of life. Joel could not give you kids. He could not give you 40 more years of happiness. He would be an elderly man before you could even reach menopause. He does not want you to regret things when you’re old and gray. 

“I don’t want that. You know damn well I don’t want that.”

You could scream. But you stay even, not giving in to the temptation to just rip him a new one. 

“I don’t know what you want, Joel. One minute you’re kissin’ me and begging to be with me, the next you’re telling me you can’t be with me because I’m too young.”

“Baby-”

“No! Don’t you dare? You had no intention of making this a thing, yet you played into it and got exactly what you wanted. I’m just another notch for you, ain’t I?”

Your hands are clenched, waiting for his delayed response. You are embarrassed and humiliated that you were delusional enough to let Joel toy with every one of your emotions. 

“You know that ain’t true, girl. I just don’t want you to live your life regretting that I was a part of it, okay? You want to spend your days with an old man who can’t give you everything you want? ’m not good for you.”

He can’t let you make this mistake. 

But you’re not easing up. 

“What do you think I want? Kids? A simple life? A picket fence? Joel those are things I wanted when I was living in a world that didn’t have a brain-eating infection that’d turn people into zombies,” You’re huffing and puffing, trying to understand why he thinks he can tell you what you need and want. 

“I spent years of my life wishing I could get those things, but I gave up a long ass time ago. I don’t want those things nearly as much as I want you. I fuckin’ want you, okay?”

You realize you’re not being quiet and your Dad could probably hear every word falling from your lips. He can hear you desperately plead with Joel Miller to be with you. 

Joel is shocked you’re laying all this out. He can’t believe his ears when you say you want him. A man like him being wanted is quite unbelievable, especially by a woman like you. 

You could hear a pin drop with how silent your house is. You fold your arms, trying not to give into the nausea you feel from spilling your soul to him. 

“I just…” He fidgets with his hands for a minute before those puppy eyes glance up at you, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”

You step closer to him, your face inches away from him. You train your eyes on his mouth, unsure how to respond to such blasphemy. 

“I have spent so many days thinking about what it’d be like to live in a world where the Joel Miller would even glance in my direction. I imagined what it’d be like to kiss him,” You’re whispering now, making sure this revelation is for his ears only, “I imagined what it’d be like to have a man who’d treat me well and look… Exactly like you. I have dreamed of you.”

Joel would have never guessed such a statement fall from your lips. 

You breathe out, relieved it’s finally off your chest.

“I just don’t want to leave ya worse than I found ya,” His softness instantly makes you crumble into his arms. He holds you tight, before pulling away to search your face. You teeter forward on your toes, pressing a firm but attentive kiss to his lips. 

When you draw back, “I’m not givin’ you up, Joel.”

The tension is shattered when you hear your Dad yell your name from down the hallway. You snap out of your trance of staring at Joel’s beautiful lips and dart toward the voice. 

“Yeah?”

You open the door and see him, his eyes wide open and focused on the door. 

“Who you talking to out there? Is that Joel?”

Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of every word you just said, scared half to death that your Dad would get out of bed and beat some sense into you. Joel follows you down the dimly lit hallway, but you don’t even hear him, too rattled by your father’s question. 

“Yes, it’s me,” Joel speaks up, coming forward to meet your Dad’s confused expression, “How you feelin’, man?”

“I’m feelin’ like I’m hearing some odd things from down the hall. You two fighting?” His voice is breaking a bit. 

The silence after he asks the question is deafening. You glance over to Joel whose mouth is slightly ajar, unable to move with an answer. You bite the inside of your cheek, wishing you could disappear into the wall nearby. 

Joel cannot lie to his friend. He certainly would never do it with you right beside him. 

“Yeah, you uh, heard us?” He barely manages. 

“Yeah, I sure as hell heard my daughter beggin’ you to take her on, is that true?”

“Dad-“

“My daughter wants to date a man that’s 10 years younger than her own father? Kind of twisted.” He snaps, shoving the blankets off his legs. “But, I am gonna be honest… I expected this.”

You can hardly breathe with the tension in the air. 

“Sorry?”

Joel’s tone is dry, and he’s unable to fully form a coherent thought. 

Your dad coughs before he starts, “Well, I could tell by the way you looked at her that you had a thing for her, Miller. Didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to entertain it.”

“Dad, he’s not dum-“

“And I thought you’d get over this little schoolgirl crush, but I was mistaken, I guess.”

You were used to your Dad’s sarcasm and upfront jabs. You spent a lifetime throwing them back at him, but this time you had nothing to say. You watch as he settles back from obnoxiously tearing off his blankets. 

You fiddle with your fingers, trying not to show your internal anxiety-riddled monologue. He thought you’d get over your crush. He always noticed how Joel looked at you. How did he look at you? How did you never notice?

Joel is spiraling, reverting to his original conclusions. He knew this was a horrible idea. He should have never stepped over the line. He’s a horrible man. You don’t deserve someone as awful as him. 

He smacks his lips, making you and Joel come back down to Earth and out of your heads. 

“Whatever is happenin’ between you two, I probably will never fully understand it. But you are adults, you do whatever makes you happy,” He says with both hands up in surrender, “I am too old to bother with my daughter’s love life. She’s a big girl, I trust her. But Miller, if you hurt her-“

“I’m a dead man.”

Your father laughs which in turn makes you smile crookedly. 

“Just one thing,” He points to you, “I don't want to hear or see anythin’-”

You nod, cutting him off immediately, “Deal.”

Joel catches your eye when he smiles in your peripheral vision. You look over at him, a grin plastered to your face. 

You can’t believe you’re actually going to do this. 

And Joel can’t believe your father somewhat agreed to let it happen. He was sure he would have a gun in his face before he could even mutter a word. But instead, your Dad is receptive to him being with you, which is all you can ask for. 

“Well, get along now, I wanna get back to sleep. You two were keepin’ me up,” Your dad grumbles, readjusting his frail frame to get comfortable in bed. You just nod, pointing at the door for Joel to exit. You follow suit, closing the door behind you tightly, making sure it clicks. Joel stands in the darkness of the hallway, waiting. He is in disbelief. 

You just take one of his hands and bring it to your lips, softly pressing a kiss into his knuckles. 

“Let’s go get cleaned up and take a nap,” You murmur, walking him to the end of the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He accepts the offer, trailing behind you like a lost puppy. 

You were not sure where this was all going to end up. Neither of you did. But you could not wait to carve the way with him, bringing every last one of your daydreams to life.

THE END

or is it? I have started writing snippets to go along with this story- if you want more, here's the link:

No One Fucks With My Baby

[almightygremlinblob]

In Every Life (AMAB Ver.)

In which Sukuna falls in love with the Reader without realizing it.

Word Count: 5, 466 of slow burn. ⚠️Content Warnings⚠️: True Form Sukuna, Heian Era, Sukuna fluff, soft Sukuna, mentioned cannibalism, slight angst, Sunshine AMAB!Reader but gender neutral expressions used, Reader is not a sorcerer and is implied to be the only non-sorcerer of her village. THIS IS NOT BETA'D and I am very tired while editing this. SO! If you spot any mistakes, esp. around the parts lmao, since I made two ver. of this, pls tell me! Minors and ppl not okay with anything sexual pls DNI and have a nice day 👍🏽 AFAB!Reader (with gender-neutral pronouns) here

⚠️Further Content Warnings⚠️: Virgin!Sukuna, Sub!Sukuna, Reader and Sukuna both switch from gentle doms to subs, size difference, soft & fluffy sex, very messy sex, Reader makes out with the tummy mouth, anal, cock worship, Reader makes out with tummy mouth, lots of fluids in general, lots of mouths, consensual blood drinking, this is getting worse the more I write lmao.

You were happy you managed to catch the attention of the King of Curses.

Sure, you didn't exactly know how you did it. You weren't strong, or exceptionally beautiful like the sons and daughters offered to him. You weren't even that smart!

You were clueless, as a matter of fact!

So clueless that, nearly two weeks ago, you gave the strange looking man with four arms a warm meal and a place to stay for the night - since it didn't seem like the storm would let up any time soon. He was pretty much shunned by the rest of the village upon his arrival…probably due to the overwhelming energy that sent people into fight or flight…but he was just born different!

Probably.

"What's your name, Mister?"

"…"

You quickly learned that he didn't speak much, and he does not like to be looked at. Only watching as you go about your day - trying your best to navigate through the judgement and, frankly, abuse of the other villagers; ever as judgemental about you as they were likely to talk down on you, spread rumors and try to take advantage of your endless kindness. Not that it worked, though - and for that, everyone pretty much hated you. Despite his silence, your visitor was the only one that seemed to regard you without any ounce of hatred.

Then, one day…

"Why do you entertain them?"

"Ah!" You visibly jumped at that moment - up until now you were certain he couldn't speak. His voice was lovely baritone, but held a quiet authority - much like him…and a very clear evil but you wouldn't dwell too much on that. "M-me? Oh…of course, me…"

"U-um…I'm not entirely sure, actually. I don't like them, b-but…" Those sharp, piercing eyes are distant, scanning the forest as you tried to think of a reason. "I-I guess they're my neighbors. Friends? No. But it wouldn't be right to just outright ignore them."

"Hmph, of course…" He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. "You people and your morals…"

"Do you not have friends?"

"No."

"Oh…" Your shoulders slump slightly. "Then, consider me your first friend!"

"No."

"Oh…"

When you visibly deflate, he laughs lightly, shaking his head as if he's heard something utterly ridiculous. "Why does that bother you? You hardly know me. I could be a mass murderer for all you know."

"Because you…you're…" You think for a while, before finding the right words. "One of the most unique people I've ever had the blessing of meeting."

His eyes finally land on you. "Blessing, huh?"

------

Eventually, the villagers turned violent towards you and your guest, but you did your best to keep him safe - urging him to leave, quickly. It was that day, when you were nearly beaten to death, that you learned the strange man's name.

"Die, you peasant!" There was something in the way these villagers attacked. A strange energy that made it hurt all the more. You were bloodied, bruised and beaten to the point you couldn't even find the strength to scream. A blade was pointed to your throat. "Any last words?"

Despite yourself, you manage to spit at him.

"I didn't think you had it in you." That familiar low voice, low and uninterested, sounds from behind you both. Then, before your very eyes, everyone was somehow cut to pieces. No screams, or cries…just the sounds of flesh and bone being cut apart. You were probably hallucinating...

You see your guest walk beside you - the gore, guts and limbs not affecting him in the slightest.

"Ah, you're okay…" His eyes land on you again. "B-be careful…t-there's an invisible…invisible something that's cutting people up…"

He scoffs. "And if I told you that was me?"

"What."

"Tsk." He promptly grabs you and, without you even realizing, your wounds begin healing, closing up, and suddenly you're more aware than you were a while ago. Then, with the flick of his wrist, the bodies get further chopped apart. The gears in your head start to turn and your eyes widen. "O-oh…"

"Go on, then. Go ahead." He grabs your face, forcing you to look at the disembodied people and the growing river of blood. "Run."

"No. No…" Your breathing steadies, and you relax into his hold. He must sense it with the way his whole body tenses for a moment. "Not from you."

In the silence, you can practically hear him thinking as he gets up. And when he made no move, you realized he was waiting for you. So you got up too, wordlessly, and began to follow him. After a while of silence, he graces you with his voice again - quiet, almost…soft.

"My name is irrelevant…but people call me Sukuna Ryomen, the King of Curses."

------

And that was the start of your new life, as a servant of the King of Curses.

It…wasn't so bad! Sure, you could be killed any day, like a few of the other servants and many of the courtesans, but you also didn't do much! And, best of all, no more of those abusive neighbors! Your days were mainly spent helping the head servant - the attractive one with white hair and a pink splotch - do things for the king, for only up to four hours. Four hours! Then you'd spend the rest of the day doing whatever!

This was not one of those days, however.

Today, you were cleaning the Lord's study, in his chambers, along with the attractive head servant. There were...a strangely high number of Dokudami paintings...

"The Lord seems to have an obsession with this herb. Does he like it?"

"That's an interesting observation. Though you're mistaken. It's more the symbolism of this plant."

"And…that would be?"

"Its flowers are delicate, pure. The plant itself is medicinal against many illnesses - it's endlessly helpful. Kind. But it grows everywhere, even in the places not many grow. A surprising resilience despite it's 'delicate' nature." The head servant explains, and you can hear the tinge of amusement in their voice. "Remind you of anyone?"

"Uh…no? No one comes to mind…"

They simply snort at that.

------

The first time you were called to his chambers, you thought you were going to die. Actually, everyone thought you were going to die. They were all giddy at the thought. You didn't expect to just sit there in silence while he practiced his calligraphy.

"I can hear you thinking. Speak."

You fidget around a little, before getting the words out. "I've always been meaning to ask…why…why me, my Lord?"

He clicks his tongue. "You dare question my choices?"

"N-no! Only…I'm curious."

Sukuna is silent for a while, hand perfectly still as he thinks, before eventually speaking.

"You calm me." He sighs as his brush continues to move. "Somehow, every time, you calm me."

------

The courtesans could see you from outside, and you could practically feel them glaring daggers at you - endlessly furious and envious that you could be that close to the Lord.

"My Lord, you…never seem to show interest in your courtesans. Have they, I mean…" You weren't sure how to word it without coming off as too brash.

"Of course they try to bed me. They always do. Don't even try to hide that they're doing it to gain a semblance of power in my estate. The last two were just…" He waves his hand dismissively, tone making it abundantly clear he wasn't happy with the memory. "Had her head cut off and the second had his limbs strewn on the floor."

You feel his gaze on you, scowl evident in even his voice. "Why do you ask me about this?"

"It's just…you have so many, I thought, well..."

"Tsk. They only want something from me, and they think they can take it freely. From me. Me!"

"Surely not ALL of them…" You fidget a little. "Why would you keep them around if that was? There's…there's so many…"

You can practically hear his smirk. "Because their organs taste GREAT sautéed."

"A-ah…"

He snorts, seeing your discomfort. "Are you afraid of becoming like them?"

"I…hm…" You look up in thought. "Perhaps…"

He lets out a soft laugh. "Then you truly are a fool."

"But…I think, it would be a good sacrifice." You finish the last area, as he goes awfully quiet. "Like an offering to a god. I think…I think I wouldn't mind that."

His presence is more than clear behind you, strong and foreboding. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Liar. Everyone says that…" He scoffs. "…but, nobody means it. If given the chance…"

You hear a sound, sharp and strong, much like a blade. A pain blooms from your wrist, and you realize you're bleeding lightly - only a few drops of blood at a time. "They all run."

"No. I wish to stay by your side, my Lord. I have nowhere I'd rather be." When you relax and make no move to run, a big and warm hand engulfs yours.

"You…weren't lying." You feel lips against the wound on your outer wrist, and the swipe of a tongue against it before the wound starts to close. "You fool…"

------

Many in the estate didn't like you, jealous of how close you were to the Lord - but it wasn't everyone. Now, it was everyone. Rumors fueling jealousy and malice for the very obvious favoritism.

Taking little nibbles, you didn't want to take more than your share.

The food was beyond AMAZING. However, Sukuna simply scowls as you shyly keep your head bowed and you must feel his gaze harden by the way you flinch under it.

"I apologize. I just…don't want to take more than my share…"

"Do you mean to insult me? This entire meal is yours." He scoffs, grabbing your bowl. He grabs one of the sushi rolls and puts it against your mouth, which is still closed due to your surprise. "Eat. I won't accept this…whatever it is you're doing."

"O-oh, I-…thank you, my Lord." You open your mouth and allow him to feed you. Light blush forming from how good the food is. Yes, that was definitely why. "My compliments to the chef. This is beyond delicious, my Lord…"

And it was true, the sushi, the miso soup, selection of meats, everything tasted DIVINE.

"Compliments taken."

WAIT-

You nearly choke on your food. "I-I apologize…my Lord. I, you…for me???"

"Use your words."

"I mean, ah…" You shake your head, trying to recover from your mind going into overdrive. "You…made this for me?"

"Yes." He says it so plainly.

"What…what for?"

He doesn't answer and, for once, looks unsure. "I…I don't know."

------

When you came out of his chambers unscathed the second time, everyone - except for Lord Sukuna himself and his servant - went into a frenzy. The servants were appalled, the courtesans were fuming, and you made sure to steer clear of everyone who now seemed to loathe you. And, soon enough, all your duties were either with the head servant, with Lord Sukuna, or by yourself. Still, you didn't feel safe in the estate anymore.

Then, one night, the head servant came to your quarters, stating that "Lord Sukuna has requested I take you to his chambers."

If you weren't going to die physically, you would die of embarrassment.

Still, you followed the white haired servant to his chambers, entire form trembling as you nearly stumbled over yourself. Sukuna glances you once over, and can't help the snort that escapes his lips. You looked like a newly born fawn with how shaky your legs were.

"My sincerest apologies. I just…nervous…"

"That much is clear. Sit." Something is off and you can tell he's tense. "This probably isn't going to go how you're expecting."

You do as he says, sitting seiza in front of him. Something sharp is pointed to your throat, right where the artery is. Your eyes go wide, but after a little bit, you allow your entire body to relax. If you should die by anyone's hand, it would be his.

"Look at me." He commands and you look up, seeing him holding a spear of sorts. For the first time, you see him - truly see him. His form beautiful, terrifying and divine all at once. Your eyes and body must show your adoration, because he looks away - as if uncomfortable.

He shuts his eyes, and the spear is repeatedly pushed against your neck, as if trying. However, it never follows through. This was so easy for him, and yet…

"My Lord, if I should die today, it would be the greatest honor for it to be by your hand." Your body relaxes, eyes close and you lean into the blade of the spear. Sukuna tenses, and you feel it in his hold. "If it's by your hand, my Lord, I can only die happy."

"Yes. That much you've made clear." You hear him sigh, tired and defeated, as the spear drops to the floor. "To think this is how I'd lose…how pathetic…"

"M…my Lord?"

"Leave."

You see him, frustrated and defeated, and it makes your heart ache to see him like this. Without even realizing it, your hand reaches out and stops just before touching him. "Might I stay for you? Please, I only want…"

His glare nearly has you frozen. "THIS is how you want to celebrate a victory over me?"

"No, my Lord. I only wish to stay by your side and help how I can."

He's quiet, clearly upset. "Do what you will with me. I might as well be worthless like this anyway."

"Never to me, Lord Sukuna." You take his hand in both of yours, and bring your lips to his knuckles but he quickly pulls his hand away.

"What?!" He snarls. "What use is your loyalty to someone like me now?"

"You are my Lord, Sukuna. I serve you…" Your eyes meet his, full of longing and concern. "Anything I can do to help you, please let me…"

His eyes briefly glance at your quivering lips, leaning in without realizing before he turns away with a click of his tongue.

"Leave."

And you do as you are told.

------

"How is Lord Sukuna?"

Was one of the most frequent questions you'd pester the head servant's ears with. They roll their eyes. "He's not frail, you know. You don't need to worry about him like a mother hen."

"I just…it's been a week since I've seen him! If he doesn't want to see me, that's fine, but…I-I'd at least like to know if he's okay…" You sigh. "And what I did wrong…so I can avoid doing it again!"

"Just give him time to process." The head servant states nonchalantly. "This is new territory for him."

------

The silence was…

Awkward, to say the least.

Not a word uttered as he continued to paint those stupid edible weeds in the candle-light. It was already late…

"A-ahem." Your voice breaks slightly when you clear your throat, and you feel his gaze on you. "M-my Lord, if there's nothing else, I shall retire for the night."

"Stay."

What.

"Don't make me repeat myself." Clearly your reaction was evident in your body, and you choke on your words before they even get out.

"That night was my first defeat." He says, as if sensing your question, yet you hear a tired and heavy sigh. "As of now, it's been my only one."

"But…have you been okay, my Lord?"

"Always about me, hm?" He scoffs, and there's tension as his footsteps grow closer. Your eyes meet his, beautiful and terrifying, when his fingers gently tug your chin up - guiding you to look at him. Guiding your body to the mattress as he cages you underneath him. "And why not just claim your victory? I have no right to complain. Isn't that what you meant to do the night you defeated me?"

"What? No! My, Lord, no! I-I'm sorry. It wasn't-I didn't mean-It's not what you think! I could never-" Your hands cover your mouth - shocked at the implication. "Oh Lord Sukuna, I bow to you! Only you! I-I will never, could never, force something like that on you! Not then. Not now…"

"Good. This was getting overwhelming." He sighs and then promptly rolls off you, plopping down to your side. Though your skins were still touching and, for once, Sukuna didn't mind someone this close to him in this way. He was relaxed, as if his worries melted away. You couldn't help the smile that grew. This was the Lord you know - a walking death and calamity, now pacified. You both face each other and he can't help but look away, cracking under the weight of your loving gaze - full of adoration, concern and awe.

Weak.

He was weak.

"Lord Sukuna, may I?" Your hand reaches out to him, stopping just before reaching the wooden part of his face. He was so terribly beautiful.

"Do as you wish." He mumbles, and you gently hold him - even though he doesn't show it, you can feel him tense.

"My Lord, what's wrong?" There it is again, the weight that makes him feel like he's breaking without being broken. "I know you don't need it, but I only wish to help in any way I can…"

His mouth opens and closes several times before he's able to finally find the worse. "You've broken me. Made me weak…and I can't even curse you, or wish we'd never met because I'd be lying."

You chuckle. "My Lord is far from weak."

"Yet I am powerless against you." His four eyes bore into you, in them a mix of desperation and longing, as you gently stroke the wooden part of his face. Finally, he closes his eyes, relaxing against you. "And I never thought defeat could feel like this…"

"Is it pleasant, my Lord?"

"It is…" You feel his fingers tracing along your collarbone, up to your jawline and you feel something wet licking your skin as his hand rests on your throat. A mouth on his hand, gently licking and suckling on the sensitive parts of your neck. "…but only if it's you."

"Lord Sukuna…" Despite everything, you feel he's still tense. "You're tense. Would you like me to…?"

"Yes. I meant to bed you tonight, but this…it's…" He sighs. "Overwhelming. I'm not clueless, but something about you makes it all…too much…"

"Then let me lead, my Lord." You gently push him down, and he lets you - following you as you guide him. His hand takes hold of your chin, pulling you in so your lips meet his. His kiss was tentative and unsure, or perhaps more accurately, scared. Scared of every feeling that threatened to overthrow him. You eagerly massaged your lips against his nonetheless. "Please…allow me to worship you tonight, Lord Sukuna."

His breaths become heavier when you straddle him, gently undoing his kimono while he easily rips your clothes to shreds with a flick of a wrist. Your lips mark his skin gently. Moving down to worship his mouth, jaw, his shoulders, both chests and finally to the mouth on his stomach - who was breathing just as heavy. Sukuna tenses when you take his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it and explore the much bigger one with your smaller tongue.

When you pull away, there's a small pool of saliva where the stomach mouth lay open and plenty on you where the mouth-hands had left their marks on your skin. Both his cocks, beautiful, heavy and fat, sat on his stomach where they were already leaking with arousal. Sukuna's breathing turned heavy, and as your hands move to his waist, stopping just before doing anything, you look up at him. "My Lord, if at any time you wish for me to stop, please say so. I will stop without hesitation or question."

"Always about me…" He chuckles and, in a sudden movement, easily manhandles you so your ass is on his stomach-mouth. "No, I do not wish to stop. But if you truly ask for nothing in return, then let me be gracious."

"M-my Lord, ah-" Your eyes roll back when you feel that giant tongue lapping at the rim of your hole, the both of you moaning as he did so.

"Delicious…" A hand finds its way to your length, giving it lazy strokes before a mouth opens up and begins licking you - before taking you in. The heat of his mouth felt absolutely divine. The mouths on his other hands suck hickeys and bite the skin of your neck, while they find the sensitive nubs on your chest and harshly tug at them with teeth and lips, too. You hear a noise that's half-way between a whimper and a moan. "…everything about you…so delicious…"

"That's it, my Lord. I'm yours tonight…" You sigh, mind in bliss as your hands find his cocks. He bucks his hips when you begin to stroke him - slowly, before building to a steady pace. His cocks were thick and fat, heavy and veiny and monstrously beautiful in all the ways that had you nervous to take him. They throbbed eagerly, dare you say even aching for your touch. Bowing down, you take one of his tips into your mouth, careful not to let your teeth get in the way. The way his tip had pulsed and the amount of arousal you had to swallow down, had you moaning and whining happily as you swallowed his cock. Amidst the low growling of his stomach mouth, you hear a noise that's halfway between a whimper and a moan, and feel him buck his hips into your mouth as you lick and suck on him eagerly - tongue, lips and hands feverishly worshipping Sukuna's heavy, monstrous lengths.

The tongue begins to enter you, and you nearly cum on the spot - choking on his cock. Slowly, it reaches deep, deep enough to hit that spot that has you seeing stars. When you continue to moan, Sukuna's hips move on their own - tip fucking your mouth while you drool and stroke him.

You both get lost in pleasure. His large tongue tastes and moves eagerly inside you, practically assaulting that sweet spot as the stomach mouth continues to growl and whine and drool. While you eagerly suck on and stroke his twitching and throbbing lengths and he returns the favor, albeit a little more sloppy.

A guttural moan escapes Sukuna's throat when he releases into your greedy mouth, and you do your best to swallow everything he has to offer while his other cock paints you in white. Drool, precum and his seed still leak out your mouth, though - and you quickly find it's too much. Before you can stop yourself, you release into the mouth sucking you off - ass clamping down on the large tongue inside you as it continues to move inside of you, well past your high. You cum heavy into one of your Lord's many mouths, and it gags on your cock - the sensation making you spurt more into the mouth that greedily tries to swallow everything.

His tip leaves your mouth with a sloppy and wet pop and with a groan, both tongues take one final lick before retracting back. You both are breathing heavy, shaking a little as he repositions you to face him. His hand caresses your face, eyes completely dilated as he makes a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh.

"Oh, gods, look at you…"

"My Lord, I-" Your eyes widen a little as you struggle a little in his grasp. "Wait-"

"Have you forgotten who you answer to?" He clicks his tongue. "You are in no position to make demands of me."

"I…answer to you, my Lord." You still, realizing what he was asking you. "I'm sorry."

There's a small silence as you look away bashfully. However, when you glance back at him and are met with a frown - there was the sudden realization of an unsaid question waiting to be answered. He hasn't moved at all. Immediately, you explain yourself, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I-I'm still a bit sensitive, is all…but I-I still want this! Truly, my Lord! I-I want…I want you, still."

Your voice comes out a little higher than you would have liked, but it seemed to quell him nonetheless.

"As am I, but…" He sighs and before he looks away, you capture his lips in a chaste but wet kiss.

"I know." You bite your lip bashfully and your voice comes out soft and sweet in all the ways that make his cocks twitch. "But, I did promise to worship my Lord tonight. I shouldn't make a promise I can't keep."

When your hands begin to stroke him again, slow and gentle, Sukuna practically throws his head back, biting back a low whimper while his stomach mouth shamelessly groaned and panted. He cursed as his hips began to move on their own, muscles tensing as his cocks grew hard again. Yet when your eyes lock he only sees adoration and longing in them as your hands worshipped him diligently. Not the empty lust he saw in everyone else who wanted him this way but could never get close.

"You look incredible like this, my Lord." Your voice comes out raspy and full of longing, and it tears a near animalistic sound from him.

"Enough." He growls, and you immediately stop. "Let me inside you."

"Anything for you." A mix of arousal, anxiousness and excitement overwhelms you as you climb on top of him, positioning yourself so his bottom cockhead kisses the entrance to your ass - readying you as it spurts those large trickles of precum. The both of you share a guttural groan as you sink down on one of his cocks, the free one throbbing delightfully in front of your own length. Sukuna was massive, to say the least, and despite how dripping wet he was your legs were still shaking from the wonderful strain. Although, your gummy insides took him in eagerly while being stretched to their limit.

The initial pain of the stretch was nearly drowned out by how wonderful he felt inside of you - fat and veiny cock completely filling you, dragging deliciously along the inside of your ass. You could feel him his arousal leak inside you, lubricating you plenty, and his length pulsing like a second heartbeat. And when you fully sheathed him inside of you, you both almost lost the ability to think properly.

"S-Sukuna, my Lord…" You'd be embarassed by how shameless you sounded with your Lord now fully inside you, his fat mushroom head leaking on and throbbing against that sweet spot. His hands rested on your hips, keeping your bodies joined with a messy puddle of arousal underneath you both. Sukuna's eyes were rolled back and fluttering slightly while his stomach mouth was open with his massive tongue lolled out, making a noise somewhere between a low growl and a whimper. Seeing him like this nearly sent you off the edge.

"O-ooh, gods…" He groans when he feels you clamp down on him, and a hand pulls your head into a clumsy kiss. You feel his breath turn into full on panting when he tasted himself on you, the hands on your hips now painfully digging into your skin as he begins to thrust up into you - sloppy, slow and languid, as if trying to get even deeper and split you apart. Your free hands, once caressing the wooden part of his face, now move down to stroke his free cock - earning you a low growling from the stomach mouth as it started panting.

"Oh, you feel heavenly, Lord Sukuna…" As if encouraged by your words, his thrusts start to get faster, harder - a steady rhythm beginning to build. "That's it. You're doing so well, my Lord."

"Ngh, ah…" Your Lord made such sweet sounds.

Neither of you were going to last long, it was all too much.

"A-ah, it's so good my Lord…" The pain had long subsided, replaced only with ecstacy. Sukuna's fat and heavy cock dragged along every part of your insides, and the feeling of the warm arousal dripping from his tip and the throbbing of his veiny length had you near screaming into his mouth. Your Lord was completely filling you and leaving no part of you unloved. While your ass, already sloppy and wet with Sukuna's arousal, desperately sucked him in every time you and him moved, only to be rewarded as he thrusted back in and you bounced back down on him, wet velvety insides squeezing him tightly as if never wanting him to leave. Without you even realizing it, your body was unconsciously and sweetly worshipping and loving your god. "I love you, Lord Sukuna!"

Something in Sukuna snaps upon hearing those words, which were otherwise empty - had it come from someone else.

"I want to taste you." He practically whimpers into your mouth as you both pant and continue to knot tongues. The kiss is clumsy, inexperienced, but you were far too lost in love to care - exploring your Lord's mouth eagerly while you struggle to ride his beautiful, monstrous form. The tongues on his mouths sucking, biting and tasting your skin; marking every bit of your body they could. This would hurt, but you didn't care. You only wanted to show your god how much you loved him. "Let me taste you…"

"Yes, my Lord. Anything-" This would hurt, but you didn't care - only wanting to show your god how much you loved him. "Anything you wish of me…"

With the flick of his wrist, there's a sharp pain on your tongue and a metallic taste floods both of your mouths - there's not enough damage to fully cut off your tongue, however, only a cut.

"Swallow me." Sukuna's breath hitches as he continues to kiss you, letting out a noise between a growl and a whimper, and you realize that it wasn't only your blood in both of your mouths. An offering of a devotee to their god, and a god to their devotee. You eagerly swallow each other's blood, moaning into your mouths as you share the messy, bloody kiss.

"Y-yes, keep going my Lord…" You continue to encourage him, as one of his hands moves to take both of your lengths and stroke them together. You and Sukuna both throw your heads back and nearly yell as the mouth on his hand opens up and swallows the both of you - tongue working eagerly on both your tips while your hands work on the shafts. "Cum for me, my Lord. Please…"

His thrusts get faster and harder, and you bounce on him just as fervently. What was once a steady rhythm has now turned sloppy as you both rode each other into your high. Sukuna reaches his orgasm with a choked yell, and you reach yours with a scream - bodies tensing as you both get lost in each other and neither of you stop moving. His warm and thick seed floods your insides, far too copious and spilling over. Your ass spasms and clamps down on him, almost painfully milking and sucking him in, desperately trying and failing to keep his overflowing love inside. The mouth that held both of your cocks greedily tries and fails to swallow all of the overflowing love as you and Sukuna both cum heavy into it.

It feels like forever, but you eventually collapse on top of him - both of you too tired to pull out of either hole. Though the mouth that held both of your cocks still lazily licked up at all the overflow. Minds completely muddled neither of you could think, bodies shaky with the high and tranquility of post-orgasm. There was nothing but the sound of your breathing for a while, before he silently cups your face and you feel the sting on your tongue disappear. With shaky hands, you touch your tongue and find the cut was healed.

"Thank you for sharing your blood with me, my Lord." You bury your face in the crook of his neck. "If I may, might I stay the night?"

"You'll be staying here every night, from now on." Without realizing it, his lips reach your forehead. "And for the rest of eternity, you will never leave my side."

"Yes, my Lord. I swear it." It was one simple, powerful vow that had you staying by his side for the rest of your life…

And made you return to him, in every life after.

-----

My GAAAHD was this difficult to write. Not the writing part itself, NO. But finding the time for writing. YEEESH. Anyways, have a great day!

[siffrins-therapist]

👾censoredmandibiles Follow

OK time to settle something

EDIT: this post WAY ended up breaking containment. GO CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS ELSEWHERE

🦑tentacleovi Follow

YO FREE BLOCKLIST IN THE NOTES HOLY SHIT

#RIP OP's notifs #i don't go here but i suggest making popcorn before diving into those notes #some of it is puritan bs you'd expect #some of it is discourse i never even knew existed

41.6K Notes

🕷️friendofcharlotte

I think a painting my friend got at a thrift store was painted by Mr. Italy Veneziano? Is there a way to authenticate it? Google isn't helping.

⭐wishonadeadstar Follow

Try here. Turns out my nan's portrait of her farmhouse was originally painted by Mr. Romano when he was living in NY during the 1920's.

🕷️friendofcharlotte

THANK YOU

8 Notes

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

hey yo so the US rep put like 100 hours into playing that game Spiritfarer just this week... anyone want to go check on the guy??

💿newagepirate Follow

There are literally government workers who's literal job it is to check on him

⛰️lesbianmothernature Follow

how tf do you know he put 100 hours into playing a game anyway????

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

We're friends on Steam. He adds like everyone who asks.

And for everyone in the notes asking what Spiritfarer is it's one of those cozy simulator games here's the trailer.

#isn't the 'deathiversary' of his friend Davie this week? #i'm definitely not the first person to think of that #okay looking at the notes was a mistake #like i'm not one of those ppl who puts #'DNI if your username makes fun of davies death' but #immortal or not #even if it happend centuries ago #you can still be sad your FUCKING FRIEND DIED

12.3k Notes

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

So if I become a citizen of Ladonia can he just... visit me through my computer?

🦝trashypanda Follow

He gets mad when you summon him :(

🦘callmejoeythewayi Follow

"summon him" Like a fucking demon?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

We are NOT rehashing that old discourse.

🎱magic8saveme Follow

Oh god I just revived my blog after escaping x/twitter and last time I saw that disk hoarse, my dash was just post after post of this for DAYS

🪄magictrio-dropout

#was there actual discourse about whether the nation-people were demons? #cuz the discourse i saw on my dash was #whether tales of things like demons vampires and #other immortal or 'came back to life' creatures #were born from when the nation-people resurrecting #or like #doing creepy stuff

IDK about tumblr or the first bit (I've personally never heard that at least not from anyone being serious) but the other stuff has been debated in academia for decades! One of my literature professors is ADAMANT that the vampire myth can be traced to old folklore about the reps and them reviving and possibly the blood-drinking comes from an evolution of the myth when before, old stories talked about blood soaking the earth where vampires rose. If anyone's interested, here's where you can find my professor's paper about it.

🎃warongayxmas

So like. *grabs a bat and slowly approaches a hornet's nest* Then does the Jesus story have the same roots then?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

WE 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 RE 👏 HASHING 👏 THAT 👏 DISCOURSE👏

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

Wtf happened to my post???

#so did OP become a Ladonian citizen or what?

187.4k Notes

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

MY DAD GOT TO SEE MR ENGLAND LIVE BACK WHEN HE WAS IN A PUNK BAND

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

TUMBLR WTF HOW TF DOES THIS VIOLATE GUIDELINES

🏴dinotonugget-deactivated

Finally. Proof that the site runs so shittily bc Mr. Eyebrows works for staff

🫎moosecrossing Follow

Spoke the truth and got fucking killed for it

67.9 Notes

[ellies-little-thing]

Caught in the middle (e.w/a.a)

*not my images, but i edited them

My masterlist <3

pairing: modern!ellie / fem!reader /modern!abby

Warnings: NSFW; angst; fluf; smut; reader is referred to as she/her; reader has a vagina; cheatting; toxic relationship; violence; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hey, i didnt really know how to write this at first but it was kind of of fun. I hope you like it. Part 2? Let me know! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!

MEN AND MINORS DNI

word count: 30k

Abby Anderson is your toxic ex-girlfriend. You’ve been broken up for about 2 months now, but after seeing you at a party looking way too good, Abby just can’t help herself. Things didn't end well between you too and she was always way too possessive and to a certain point, toxic. Abby watches you, eyes lowered in a glare as some girl flirts with you. With her usual black tank top showing off her muscles and her hair in a braid. She always looks intimidating, but when she's angry, no one dares to get in her way. There’s a drink in your hand, a smile on your face, and a dress that’s way too short, and way too tight on your body. She can hardly contain herself. Still after all this time she can't see you with anyone else. It's her or no one.

You continue on talking to the girl you were with. This girl is definitely trying to hit it off with you. She's very flirtatious, leaning in close to you and putting her hands on your shoulders, running her fingers through your hair. But in the background, you can see Abby is watching, glaring at you both with a scowl. As you look around you see Abby, you pretend she is not there. Abby catches you looking and she glares even more, the girl now running her fingers through your hair and down your neck. Abby's anger is obvious, and a muscle in her jaw twitches as she watches this girl try to have you all to herself. She can't stand it.

You flirt back to the girl. The girl loves it. She gets closer and closer, whispering now in your ear, her breath on your neck. Abby's eyes narrow even more, and she clenches her fists, her nails biting into her palms. You giggle as she whispers in your ear. The girl seems to pick up on the fact that this is working. She is beautiful, big round brown eyes, naturally tanned and her hair naturally blond from the sun. She leans even closer, her lips almost brushing your neck. It's all Abby can do to stand there and watch this girl touch you without losing her cool. Her lip curls in jealousy and anger.

Abby is finally at her wits end when she sees you giggling and flirting back. She marches straight over to you and grabs you by the arm, pulling you away from the girl. The girl is shocked, but she gives Abby a, "Hey! wtf?" look. “Abby? What do you think you are doing?” You ask annoyed. Abby just glares and clenches her fists, her fingernails digging into her skin. "Don't you dare walk over here flirting with someone else in front of me. Do you hear me? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

“We aren't together anymore.” You say angry. Abby scoffs. "We aren't together anymore? We aren't together anymore?? Is that all you have to say for yourself?? Do you really think that makes this okay? Do you really think that after everything we've been through together, you're just gonna flirt with whoever you want while I'm standing right here?!"

“Yes it does, you are acting crazy!” You say loudly. Abby gets angrier by that. "Crazy? Crazy??? You don't understand a goddamn thing. You think I'm the crazy one here? You think it's crazy for someone to be upset when the person they love is flirting with someone else in front of them?"

“I'm done with you.” You tell her, feeling clearly angry and she knows. Abby gets even angrier at that, a vein on her forehead starting to throb a little. "Oh you're done with me, are you? Is that so? After everything we've been through together, you just wanna cut me out of your life like that? After the last six months?"

“You were the one who broke up with me!” You yell at her, the whole bar is starting to look at you two. Abby glares hard at you. "Oh don't gimme that bullshit. You know damn well why we broke up. We just weren't working out anymore. But now I see you're just gonna move on and flirt with anyone you see? So much for all those promises and all of those "I love you's, I'll never leave you’s”, huh?"

“Fuck you Abby.” Abby stops, and stands there stunned for a moment, the angry scowl on her face quickly dissolving into a look of hurt and disbelief. "Oh you're gonna say that now? After you were flirting with that girl a second ago? I thought that just a second ago, you didn't even notice me. Now you're telling me you hate me? I don't believe a word of this. You're just trying to upset me, because you know this hurts, doesn't it?'

“Like you weren't talking to that girl you were with just now.” You call her out on her own bullshit. "I was not talking to that girl. I wasn't flirting with her. I wasn't even engaging with her at all! I was just standing there trying to keep my composure while you were flirting! But you, you were leaning into her, giggling and letting her run her hands through your hair. I could practically feel the chemistry between you two, so don't you dare try and compare the two of us."

“You don't own me!” You say angrily, losing your patience. Abby gets even angrier, her eyes narrowing and her voice getting louder. "Oh please! You think this is about me owning you? It's about respecting me, and about respecting this relationship we had! We dated for six months for god's sake. Is that really what all of this is about for you? Are you just gonna throw that away over some girl you met 15 minutes ago?"

“Yes, we did, and YOU broke up with me, not the other way around!” She is getting under your skin. Abby pauses, and her expression drops. Her face falls, and she looks down at her hands, the nails buried deep into her palms. "You're right. I did. I did break up with you. But please at least understand why I did. I just felt like we were drifting apart. Our relationship just wasn't working anymore, and I thought it was better for both of us."

“Then why do you care who I talk to?” You ask her as she is giving you mixed signals. Abby scoffs, rolling her eyes, and stepping up right onto you. "You can't possibly be this dense. Obviously, I care who you talk to. I love you, remember? I still do. We went through so much together for months, and I hate the idea of you being with someone else. You're mine.

“I'm not yours anymore.” You state with confidence and annoyment in your voice. Abby takes a step back, her face twisting in anger and frustration. "God damn it. Don't you get it? Yes we technically aren't together anymore. But I still have you, I still want you. I've built up such an attachment with you over the last six months, and I hate thinking that someone else is having the same attachment with you. I can't stand the idea of you dating someone else. I just can't."

“You should have thought of that before breaking up with me!” Abby glares at you and takes a step closer again. "Yeah, and I guess you should have thought about that before you started flirting with some girl in front of me. We broke up, sure. And yeah, I made the decision. But I didn't think either of us were just gonna move on like this, this fast. I just can't. You mean too much to me, I can't let it go."

“I don't care, you hurt me and I don't want to talk to you anymore.” You are so done with this situation. Abby pauses, and her eyes narrow, her expression dropping. "Really? That's just it for you? We spend six  months together, we go through all those ups and downs together, we build up this bond together over time, and you're just going to cut me out like it's nothing? We mean nothing now?"

“Goodbye Abby.” You walk out of the bar. Abby scoffs, and looks away, but she can't quite deny the hurt in her eyes. She watches you walk out the bar, and then you're gone. She sighs, and takes a deep breath. "God damn it." Abby stays for a while after you go, but her thoughts eventually overwhelm her, and she leaves the bar as well. She walks through the city for a while, lost in thought, trying to keep her anger and hurt in check. She's not used to this feeling of rejection - of having no control over someone else.

You go home upset. You live with your roommate Dina. She's super sweet and she's always there for you. Dina has black hair and brown eyes. She is beautiful. Her skin is a bit tanned, with natural freckles. Her smile always warm, her eyes always loving and caring. You couldn't ask for a better best friend.

As you get home you lay on your bed thinking about what just happened. When Abby gets home she just plops onto her couch, and sits there thinking. She's usually so good at controlling her emotions, but here she just looks... defeated. She sits there for a while, just staring blankly at the wall. Eventually, she lays back on the couch, just staring up at the ceiling.

At some point while you're laid in bed, you get a text from Abby. It just says "I'm sorry." That's all it says. “Are you now?” You text back, feeling very angry at her. After a minute, you get another text. "That girl. I don't even care about her. Or about flirting. I just want you. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I hate that we broke up. I miss you so much."

“I can't believe you…” You are very clearly angry now, you can't even go out without her interfering. Abby texts again after a few minutes. "Please. Let's just meet up tomorrow and just talk things out. I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you."

“I don't want to talk.” You reply dryly. Abby's next text is even more desperate. "Please. Just hear me out. Let's talk. And if you really still wanna go, then I'll accept it. I just want a chance to talk things out, face to face, just you and me. Please."

“fine.” You are so done with her, you just want this to stop and for her to quit being so damn jealous. Abby's next text is a sigh of relief. Clearly a mix of relief, but also some anxiety. "Thank you. I'll pick you up at 8pm tomorrow. Does that work for you?"

“Okay” Is all you say. Abby's next text is just a heart emoji, she seems very hopeful about this. "I'll see you tomorrow."

All through the night you couldn't sleep, and as the next morning comes, you're filled with a mix of anxiety and hope as you wait for Abby to arrive. Finally you see her pull up outside in her car. You can tell just from her eyes that she's extremely nervous about this conversation. You open the door. Abby stares at you for a moment, a mix of sadness, guilt, and desperation on her face. She opens her mouth to speak, but the words just don't come. Her eyes are locked on yours, and you can just see tears starting to well up as her expression becomes more serious and tearful. She stares and stares, waiting for you to say something.

“So?” You cross your arms looking at her. Abby's mouth quivers, and she looks away for a second. She then looks back up at you seriously, tears rolling down her face. "I love you. I never wanted to break up. I just felt like we weren't working anymore, but last night I saw how fast you were moving on, and I realized just how much I still cared. I broke down when you left because I hate the idea of losing you. You mean too much to me, and I will do anything if it means I can have another chance with you."

You get sad as she talks. Abby looks at you, her tone now shifting to pure sadness and guilt as she speaks. "I am so sorry, I never would've broken up with you if I knew this would happen. I just didn't realize how much I cared until we broke up. I will do anything, anything, I will change whatever needs to be changed, just please can we go back to how we were? Because I can't handle this, I can't handle losing you." You look at her, feeling a wave of emotions. Abby looks back up at you hopefully. She really seems sincere. She's not saying these things in an aggressive manner or a controlling or dominant way. She seems truly sorry, and genuinely remorseful for how things have turned out.

You hug her. You missed her too, even though she wasn't good for you. Abby is taken by surprise, but she hugs you back tightly. The hug is comforting, especially with the way she's squeezing you. She's crying more now, the tears streaming down her face as she tightens her grip on you. You cry as well. Abby cries with you, sobbing into your chest and holding you tight. It feels good to be this close to you again, and she doesn't let go of you even after the crying dies down.

“Come inside.” You say as you break the hug. Abby nods, pulling back from you gently, her face now a mix of sadness and relief. She gets rid of the tears on her face, and follows you inside. She sits down on the couch and looks up expectantly at you. She seems to be waiting for you to say something. You sit next to her. Abby smiles, gently taking your hand and squeezing it lovingly. "Could I ask you a question? You promise to be completely honest?" You nod at her, wondering what she's thinking. Abby smiles, a little nervously, but she wants to hear what you have to say. "Okay… Do you forgive me for the breakup? Do you think we can go back to how we were? Can you really truly forgive me?"

“With a bit of time, I think I can.” You couldn't deny you still had feelings for her. Abby nods, and leans back on the couch comfortably. The tension finally seems to be released, and for a moment there seems to be a feeling of peace. Abby is smiling, just taking in the moment. "You don't know how much it means to me that you even said that. Thank you." You hold her hand back, squeezing slightly. Abby smiles, and holds your hand, squeezing it tightly. She doesn't want to let go. It feels too good to have you like this, and she wants that feeling of closeness with you forever. She looks down at you and smiles warmly. You lean your head on her shoulder. Abby pulls you closer, until you're practically in her lap, and your heads are almost side by side. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you tightly into her, wanting to feel as close and comfortable with you as she possibly can.

You nuzzle into her embrace, she smiles and cuddles you tightly as you lean your head comfortably against her. The embrace feels so good, and it comforts you both. She hugs you for a while, breathing slowly and warmly into your neck, and slowly but surely, the two of you just hold each other with peace, and quiet, each of you being content with just being in each other's arms. She closes her eyes, and seems to just relax. You close your eyes as well, listening to her heart beat. You can hear her heart beating in her chest through your ear, and it's steady, slow, reassuring. She's calm, and you're calm. Neither of you are moving, neither of you are talking. It's a peaceful moment, just two people holding each other tightly through the night in quietness. And then, slowly, she breathes a sigh as she begins to fall asleep. You can feel her relax, as her grip loosens around you. Her body loosens, allowing you both to lie comfortably in each other's arms. You fall asleep together. And so, together, with the warmth of your bodies, the feeling of being connected, the peace and quietness of simply being together, you both slowly drift off to sleep in each other's arms, as if there are no worries in the world at all.

The next morning comes and you begin to wake and stretch, and you look up to see Abby laying right next to you, her face still sleeping and her breathing slow and calm. She must have carried you to bed when you fell asleep on the couch. She seems peaceful and calm. Your eyes wander down her body, and despite seeing her many times like this, you find yourself looking at her. You notice all the small details, and just how beautiful she is when she's sleeping. Her face is so soft, and she almost looks like a child while asleep.

You give her a gentle kiss on the cheek, not wanting to wake her up. The kiss is still gentle and soothing, and feels peaceful. It doesn't take long though, before she begins to wake, and her eyes slowly open. She stares up at you sleepily for a moment before her eyes narrow. She scrunches up her face in a small smile, and she blinks once, before speaking. "Good morning..."

“Morning.” You say with a smile. Abby smiles at you softly as she speaks. "How did you sleep?"

“I slept well, you?” Abby nods and smiles, still groggy. "Yeah, I slept pretty good. Your bed is really comfortable." You smile at her. Abby giggles as she stares into your eyes. She likes seeing the happiness in your face, and she enjoys the smile on your face quite a lot. You're so cute to her, it just makes her want to hug you tight and never let go. She moves her face closer towards you, wanting to be closer, and her face is just a few inches away from yours.

Abby stares into your eyes, it's a very sweet and intimate moment. There's just so much peace, and warmth, and love in both of your eyes, and you can't take your gaze off each other. The two of you are just staring into each other's eyes, the happiness in each of your faces growing and growing as you continue to just sit there and look at each other.

Your eyes finally break apart, and that's when her lips quickly move forward and meet yours. She kisses you slowly and softly, just holding your lips against hers. Her tongue then slowly starts to move against yours, as she deepens the kiss. It's a gentle and loving moment, and the feeling of your lips together just feels so natural and good. It's peaceful in a way, and it's a moment of comfort and happiness. Abby's arms slowly wrap around you, and she pulls you closer as she continues the kiss.

You hold her face gently as you kiss. The kiss continues, and you can feel her pulling you closer and wrapping her arms tighter around you, pulling you in close. She's kissing you passionately, holding nothing back as she pulls you in. She loves feeling her lips against yours, and the feeling of your tongue against hers. She's never felt so comfortable with someone like this before, and she loves it.

You run your hand through her hair as you start making out. Her hair was loose, not in her usual fishtail braid. As your fingers run through her soft hair, she pulls you even closer to her. You can feel each other's bodies, and you just feel so close and so connected to her. This doesn't feel like the toxic relationship you used to have, but just two people who really and truly love each other. You haven't felt this comfortable around someone in a long time.

You feel her hands starting to move under your clothes. Suddenly she stops kissing you, and you feel her hands start to move across your body, exploring. The feeling is sensational, and it's like you can feel each movement of her fingers and hands against you. She's not pushing you away like she used to, but her hands just roam freely across your body. Her fingers slide down along your hips, and the feeling makes you squirm slightly. Her fingers then slowly move towards your thigh, and slide down it, and that feeling makes you squirm again.

The kiss begins again, and her hands continue to slide higher and higher, still slowly sliding up the sides of your thighs towards the top of them. The movement is slow and playful, and the kiss is getting more and more passionate as you continue. It starts feeling slightly overwhelming and intense for a moment. One of her hands slides slightly higher, coming dangerously close to your private area. The feeling is incredibly stimulating, and you can start to feel yourself begin to warm up quickly. You can feel yourself starting to breathe a little bit heavier as the touch continues, and the kiss gets deeper and more intense. You can feel one of her fingers start to slide upwards even more, now coming extremely close to your pussy.

Your breath quickly catches in your throat as her hand is finally there, and she can feel how wet you were already. She smirks as she starts moving her fingers over your panties. She starts moving them very slowly, and the feeling is incredible. Your body starts to tingle. She's looking right at you, and seeing her smirk while she does this makes you feel butterflies.

“Abby…” She doesn't answer, but she continues, her breath getting a little bit heavier, moving her fingers a little bit faster over your clothed clit. You start moaning and Abby likes what she is hearing.

Abby moves and gets on top of you. You lay on the bed, and Abby lays on top of you. Her body is pressed right up against yours, the feeling of her weight on top of you feeling amazing. Abby leans in and continues the kiss. You can feel her weight on you, her body pressing down, the warmth of her body in your arms. She kisses you passionately, and starts moving her hand along the side of your body. You can feel the heat build up in your chest and in your stomach as things get more and more intimate between you two.

Her hand moves back to your thigh, her fingers tracing along your skin and inching higher once again. You can't help but let out a small moan, and Abby presses down on you a little bit harder. You bite your lip as her hand moves, and she can feel the movements of your mouth and the bites, and she grins happily, finding it all so cute. That grin soon changes to a smirk, and she leans in and kisses your lips again. The kiss is sweet and passionate, and the two of you are just moving, your bodies pressing together, both of you getting more and more aroused with every movement and every kiss. The two of you just lay there, kissing each other passionately, lost in the moment and not wanting this to end.

She moves her fingers faster and more enthusiastically. Your moans echo through the room, and she gets incredibly aroused from it. She pulls your panties to the side and dips her fingers in your wetness. As soon as she feels you she grins. She starts moving her fingers once more over your clit in tiny circles. She feels her own underwear getting wet from just feeling you. She starts teasing your entrance looking you straight in the eyes. She bites her lips as she slides one finger inside you and you start moaning louder. She moves it in and out making you feel amazing. She continues, loving the reactions on your face. She inserts a second finger inside you and you can feel her stretching you. She is so turned on from making you moan so loud. She starts pumping her fingers in and out of you faster and faster making you feel that familiar sensation appear on your belly. She can see you are about to cum and moves faster and rougher. She knows just how to make you cum so well, it takes her almost no time to make you orgasm. You feel yourself reaching your limit. And then it happens, the two of you had been getting more and more intense, and now you finally reached your limit. You feel your orgasm hit you like a train, it's so intense.

She slows down once you came, happy with herself. Her grip around you also lightens as she leans back, and you can almost feel her smiling at you. She's pleased with herself, and with the way things have gone since your breakup. She can hear you panting, and she smiles, she's happy to have made you feel such bliss and satisfaction. You smile as you catch your breath. The two of you lay there for a few minutes, just taking in the silence and peace after the intense moment. The both of you are breathing heavily, and you can feel the butterflies in your stomach. She looks down at you, as her smile continues to grow and her breathing slowly calms down,she looks so happy, the two of you just enjoying this moment.

You giggle looking at her. She chuckles a bit as well, happy to see you happy and to see that you're enjoying this moment. There's no sense of discomfort or weirdness between the two of you, it's only just a nice, content and happy moment. She stares at you with a sweet smile, and you both just lay on the bed next to the other, just enjoying each other's company like this. “I missed you.” You say in a whisper. When you say this, she can't help but giggle at you, and she squeezes you tightly again. "I missed you too. I really did." You hug her back tightly, and as you do she hugs you even tighter. She presses herself into you and kisses you softly, just wanting to be as close to you as possible. She's missed this intimacy and comfort between the two of you, and it's just so sweet and warm and comforting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been over a week now, and you two are once again back together. You both missed each other terribly, and it's been nothing but warmth and happiness since you got back together. You both have sat down to talk about the issues that led to the break-up before, and you've decided to both work together to work through and fix those issues. It's been going smoothly, and you're both so incredibly happy to have each other back.

You two were sitting on the couch watching a movie, wrapped up in each other's arms, when her phone dings with a text. She looks down to read it, and she seems to tense up a little bit as she reads it. “Who is it?” You ask innocently. She looks back up at you, and she doesn't look you in the eyes. She looks away, a little embarrassed. "It's just a friend of mine. They wanted to meet up for a little while."

“Do I know them?” You ask curious to see who it was. You knew all her friends, but she seemed nervous about this one. You started getting a bit suspicious. Abby looks a bit uncomfortable, and she shakes her head. "No, you don't know them."

“So who is it?” It was Ellie, but Abby didn't want to tell you. Abby finally looks at you, she wants to be honest with you and she doesn't want to lie, but it's really hard. You can tell that she's struggling to tell you the truth without hurting you. You look at her waiting, getting more annoyed by the second, as she doesn't tell you the person's name. Abby looks down, she seems to be thinking of something. She's debating on what she should say, what would be best for you to hear. Her face is slightly flushed, and she's just not sure what to do. “Abby?” She can see you getting upset. Finally, after a long while, she looks straight at you. You can tell that she's nervous and doesn't know what to say, but that she also wants to be honest with you. She takes in a deep breath, before letting out one huge word. "Ellie..."

“Ellie?” You ask, you know that name, but it couldn't be the same Ellie, right? Abby nods, slowly, and she looks at you apologetically. "I was texting Ellie, she wanted to meet up with me today."

“Who is Ellie?” You ask still hoping it's not the same Ellie you are thinking of. Abby shifts her eyes away from you, and her voice gets quiet. You can see the way she's moving her feet and fiddling with her fingers, as if she doesn't want to answer the question directly. She still doesn't look you in the eyes as she speaks, she just seems so embarrassed by this. "Ellie's just a friend of mine, I promise."

“Can I see a picture of her to see if I recognize her?” You have to know, it's eating you up inside. Abby sighs before she finally nods, and passes you her phone. The text message from Ellie is still open, and the picture of her is right there on the screen, attached to the text she's sending to your girlfriend. As soon as you see the picture, your heart sinks into your chest. It is the same Ellie you were thinking of. You had forgotten about how pretty, sexy and how attractive she was, and as you look at the picture of her, you can feel your jealous rage growing by the second.

“Oh, okay. You should go, if you want.” You say trying to stay calm. Abby looks at you for a moment, and she senses you starting to grow angry and jealous. She starts to try and talk quickly in order to explain the situation before you can get upset. "No, no, it's just a friend, really, don't worry, really, she just wants to meet at the cafe for some tea and to catch up, really, you don't have to worry..."

“If you say she is just a friend, I believe you.” You give her a fake smile hoping she buys it. Abby smiles at you, breathing a sigh of relief as she sees your jealousy and anger subsiding a little bit. She relaxes, and she seems slightly more relieved when you actually believe her instead of getting angry or sad or upset with her over this. Abby picks up her phone, her heart a little bit warmed by the way you've believed her, and she texts Ellie back, saying she'll meet her for coffee. She smiles at you as she does this, and you can just see how happy she is that you didn't get upset or mad with her.

Some hours later she goes out to meet Ellie and you stay at home. You have a little bit of anxiety about this, but you remind yourself that Abby said it was nothing, and that she really just wanted to hang out. Your mind is playing tricks on you, but you're being strong and rational and trusting her. She told you the truth and was upfront with you when answering you, so now all you can do is believe her and trust her. She said it was just a hang out, so you know in your gut it'll be fine.

You recognized who Ellie was, she had flirted with you one day at some random party when you and Abby were broken up. You remember how pretty she was, and the way she teased and flirted with you on the day you met, and a little bit of jealousy and possessiveness starts building up in your chest. It led to more than one simple hookup. Before you got back with Abby you were still talking to her, hooking up occasionally, when you felt lonely. You remember what you did with Ellie that night and other nights after that, and you start to get a little worried that Abby might find out. You can't help but think about that moment, even though Abby trusts you and wouldn't suspect the two of you of having a past like that. Still, the thoughts begin to creep into your mind and make you wonder, and it's starting to make your stomach sink down to your knees with fear. She might find out... she might find out... you can't let her find out...

You quickly text Ellie, begging the girl not to tell Abby that she knows you. You make up all sorts of excuses, all kinds of reasons why you want to keep you two a secret, but really the only reason is that you don't want Abby to find out and get angry at you. Ellie agrees not to say anything, she's had her fun with you, and she wouldn't want Abby to be mad at her either. She promises to keep it a secret. You get really relieved, thinking you and Ellie are both safe from Abby finding out. It was incredibly risky to text Ellie and have that little chat with her, all without Abby knowing while she was out with the girl, but it all worked out and you're safe now. There's nothing that could possibly go wrong, you and Ellie won't tell anyone about each other, and everything will be fine, or so you think.

Abby comes home after her hangout, and she seems a little nervous when she gets through the door. She closes it quietly, and she seems to have something on her mind. She walks into the kitchen, and she doesn't start saying anything, and for a few moments, she just keeps her mouth closed. “How did it go?” You ask her genuinely wanting to know. Abby finally speaks up, and she smiles a bit as she talks. "It was really nice. We just kinda sat around and chatted for a while, and caught up on news and stuff. It was pretty boring stuff really, nothing too crazy." You look at her and smile, trying to stay calm. Abby keeps smiling and looking at you, she doesn't appear to be hiding anything. She seems to be completely honest with you, and with the way she's looking at you, it seems like she's very happy to be back home with you again, and she's feeling much better than before, after she hung out with her old friend Ellie.

Your senses are telling you that something's not quite right though. Abby seemed way too nervous when she walked in, and even after the way she described her outing, it just felt like there was something missing. The way she smiled and talked, it was like she was keeping something from you, a little secret. You're not sure exactly what it is, but you definitely feel like there's more going on than she's letting on. “Are you hiding something?” After you ask the question, Abby is silent for a while, and she looks at you for a little bit, the silence lasting much longer than normal. You can sense a lot of things in that silence, and you can almost feel her unease and her guilt flowing through her. She doesn't want to lie to you of all people, but she doesn't want to tell you either. She's still smiling, but you could tell something's on her mind. You lifted an eyebrow as you waited for her reply. Abby still doesn't say anything. You can continue to sense the guilt and the uneasiness inside of her. The silence still hangs thick in the air, until finally, she does say something. It took her a while to gather up the courage, and she wasn't sure what your reaction would be, but she decided to come clean. “Abby?” You call her name once more. After you speak her name, Abby responds, looking at you and finally saying something back, a small voice of guilt in her tone. "Yeah?"

“Are you hiding something?” Abby is extremely hesitant to answer, and you can just tell that she's debating what she should say, and she's still scared of your reaction, even though you've never gotten mad at her for anything before. You looked at her, waiting for her response. Abby's voice is very quiet, and she's very careful about how she words it when she finally does say it. "There's.. I uh, there's something I need to tell you..."

“Okay…” You say, trying to look calm and collected. Abby gulps, this was the last thing she wanted to tell you, but she knows that she needs to be honest and transparent with you, and that she can't hide anything anymore. She closes her eyes for a moment, and you can tell she's really nervous and stressed. Abby finally confesses, and you hear her say the exact thing that you didn't ever want her to say to you. She explains to you, with a nervous blush on her face, that she and Ellie did indeed used to date before. She explains that she didn't want to worry you or make you upset, but that she wanted to confess the truth to you. This was never something she would have told you otherwise, she would never have told you that she and Ellie had hooked up in the past.

“You dated?...” You were very confused now, Ellie knew you had been with Abby when you started hanging out, but she never told you this. Abby nods, she looks down a little bit, but she also looks a little relieved that she finally got the truth out there, and that you didn't immediately react in a bad way. She explains that yes, she did date Ellie at one point in time. It was only a casual thing between the two of them, but it was still there, and it still happened. She explains that she was embarrassed by the whole thing, and that she just didn't know exactly how to be honest with you.

“For how long?” You have to know. Ellie seemed like she was not who she said she was. Abby explains that she and Ellie had an intimate but casual thing going on for a few months. They were never in a serious relationship, but it was still something that happened between the two of them. Abby was very afraid that this whole thing would make you upset or mad at her, but she knows that now it would be better going forward if she was just honest in this relationship and didn't try to hide it from you anymore. She was really worried that she would lose you if she didn't come clean.

“It's okay, I just feel like I should know who my girlfriend has been with before.” You are relieved she told you. Abby can tell that now that the air has been cleared, there seems to be a lot less tension and stress for both of you. She's really glad that you didn't become mad or upset, or start questioning her further. When you say you should know who her ex-girlfriends were and that you're glad you know, she gives you a small grin and nods, and you can feel that she's very happy that you're not angry about it anymore.

“So you and Ellie are just friends?” Abby's smile gets a lot wider, and she nods, happy that you were accepting of all of this. She explains that yes, Ellie and she are really good friends now, and that nothing intimate ever happened between the two of them again. She explains that they haven't had a sexual relationship with each other since the last time they hooked up, and they're only on a platonic level now. She has this huge rush of relief now that she's gotten everything off her chest. She's very happy that you were accepting of this, and that you're able to move on and not let it bother you. You can see the tension leave her body after she's told you the truth, and you two can finally just relax and enjoy the night. You and Abby spend some time watching a movie together, and finally head to bed. Her mood is much lighter, and she seems to be a lot more relaxed. Everything between the two of you seems to be normal now, and it seems like the night is going to be nice and enjoyable. The atmosphere between the two of you is positive, and you start to get very comfortable with each other again.

The next morning you wake up and find yourself next to Abby, she's still sleeping, and she seems very peaceful. You can't help but smile a little bit as you see her, and you reach your arm over and put it around her. She stirs a little bit but doesn't wake up completely, and she mumbles something underneath her breath. You lean in and kiss her forehead, and she sleeps a little bit longer, but in the background, you can't help but think how good it's all feeling between the two of you. “Good morning sleepy head.”

Abby wakes up, and she's rubbing her eyes, slowly opening them as she sees you for the first time in the morning. You smile at her, because she looks absolutely gorgeous. She slowly pulls you into her arms and leans her head on your shoulder, resting her strong body against yours and giving you a small squeeze. You hug her tightly back, and you feel like everything's going to be alright. You're glad you didn't lose her last night, and you're glad things are going well. Abby finally opens her eyes fully, and she sees you there, right next to her. She smiles softly, and she's happy to have you right there next to her. She says "Good morning!" to you, looking at you with that same soft smile and her green eyes shining proudly.

“Did you sleep well?” You asked her, smiling. Abby chuckles a little bit, and she nods, still smiling softly at you. She says "Yeah, I slept really well, thanks. You?" She leans a little closer to you, and she scoots in really tightly to hug you, you could feel her warm breath on your neck as she holds you super tight. “I did too.” Abby pulls you in even closer, and gives you a very gentle kiss on the neck, leaving the faint scent of her floral perfume lingering there. "I'm glad we both slept well". She keeps her arms wrapped tightly around your body, and she's rubbing her toes against yours under the covers. "We could totally stay like this all day, right?"

“We could, if we didn't have class.”  Abby's face lights up when you say that you could stay like this all day. She seems very excited about the idea of not having to go to classes today and instead stay in bed cuddling with you. "Really? You want to stay in bed today and not have class? Because I could totally bail on my classes and just be here with you..."

“I can't miss them baby, I'm very behind on my studies.” Abby is totally fine with the idea with you both skipping class today, and she leans in close to your neck again, giving you a soft kiss and a playful bite. "We can just be together. No need for class today... We could make use of our time together, don't you think?"

“I have to go, as much as i want to stay, i need to go.” You give her an apologetic smile. Abby chuckles, and she shakes her head. "Sure, sure, I get it. You have classes, and you need to go, otherwise we'll both get in trouble, right?" She kisses you again, "Good luck with class." She says, and she rubs her head against yours. You get dressed and head out. You put on a pretty, floral dress and you pick up your bag to leave. Abby gives you a last kiss, and after she knows you've left the room, she also gets out of bed and walks out of the bedroom. She heads into the shower for a quick bath before getting dressed for the day. She's still thinking of you, and she can't help but feel a little bit happy that the two of you managed to make it through that rough patch.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You get to class and see Ellie is there. Your heart rate starts to increase slightly, and you start to panic, the thoughts of your girlfriend's ex rushing through your head, even as you try to suppress them. You don't want to make eye contact with her, and you don't want her to make contact with you. For some reason this whole thing seems to be a lot worse when she's around you. Ellie saw you and you can feel her energy, and you know deep down she's judging you. Not to mention, you don't want her talking to you, even though you know she'll try. To avoid the potential awkwardness and confrontation that she could cause, you turn around and walk away towards your seat fast and without looking in her direction. You can feel her green eyes staring at you. Almost like lasers making two holes on the back of your head.

As soon as class ends, you head straight to the bathroom hoping to avoid Ellie entirely. You're trying not to think of her at all, and trying not to dwell on the fact that the two of you are in the same class. You just don't want to see her, and you're hoping that she feels the same way. And if she doesn't, hopefully she won't try to make conversation with you. You make it into the bathroom and lock yourself inside your own little world away from all of the drama. Just as you think you're alone, you hear the bathroom door open, and you can immediately tell it's Ellie. She walks in and sees you inside, and she locks the door behind her, which makes your heart rate spike even further. You try to breathe, and take it slow, but her presence alone causes some sort of anxiety within you.

“Oh, hi... it's you…” You try to pretend nothing happened. Ellie approaches you, and in a voice that is very cold and detached, she says, "Oh, hey. How are you doing?" You get the feeling that she's judging you and you can tell she can tell that you're uncomfortable. She steps closer and continues speaking slowly. "Are you doing okay?" Ellie’s slender and tall figure is looming over you. Her auburn hair tied in her usual half bun that framed her face perfectly. She was wearing the usual, some extra large t-shirt, ripped skinny jeans and her black converse. Her tattoo on display.

“I'm great, you?” You ask, feeling extremely anxious. Ellie's response is very short and to the point, her tone is cold, detached, and distant. She keeps getting closer and closer to you, as though she's trying to intimidate you in some way. "You sure? You don't look good. You're sweating a lot." She keeps moving closer, and finally she's right in front of you, and she seems to be looking directly in your eyes. You can feel the tension between the two of you, and you just want her to go away.

You gulp as you look at her. Ellie's voice drops a little bit to an almost whisper, and she's literally directly in front of your face as she speaks. She's still keeping her eyes on you, looking very carefully. "You sure about that? Because you look pretty anxious right now, like you're about to puke." She keeps leaning in even closer, until she's just millimeters away from your face and you can feel her breath on your cheek.

You take a step back. “I'm fine.” You chuckle, trying to calm down. Ellie follows your movement right away, backing you up against the wall, and getting into your personal space once again. She's breathing very quickly and heavily. "Oh, that's just precious. I can tell that you're trying sooo hard to act like everything is great right now. But it isn't, is it?"

“I dont know what you are talking about…” You try to not talk about the matter. Ellie keeps backing you up against the wall, but she doesn't do anything to touch you yet. She just keeps staring at you with that smirk of hers. "Oh don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I can see it in your eyes." She's so close to you that you can feel her hot breath on your cheeks as she speaks, and you feel trapped in this bathroom with her.

“What do you want?” You ask nervously. Ellie just keeps staring at you, not saying anything for several long and uncomfortable seconds, as though she wants you to fill the silence. She's expecting you to say something, and her body is still pressing against yours. You don't want to speak yet, she might think she's won this little standoff if you do, so you just stay silent back. She finally does say something. "Do you miss me?"

“Wait what?” You feel confused. Ellie is still staring you down, her body pressed against yours, but she did manage to surprise you with that question. She's looking at you closely, waiting for a reply. She's also trying very hard to keep her face expressionless, so that it's harder for you to read her or to know what she's thinking. But her face is still very close to yours, that much you can definitely tell. "Do you miss me, a little bit?"

You blush as she traps you. The feeling of her body pressing up against yours is very overwhelming, and you feel very claustrophobic. You feel trapped, and you're starting to feel very uncomfortable with the position that Ellie has you pinned into. She looks very dominant, and she definitely has the upper hand in this situation. This might just be her strategy, to make you feel so uncomfortable that you don't think clearly. "What about me makes you blush still?"

“Hum... Can you take a step back please…” You are starting to feel very nervous. Ellie doesn't answer at first, and she doesn't move back, but instead she just keeps speaking. "Oh? You want me to take a step back? Why? You're not enjoying how close I am to you? You're not enjoying having your back right up against the wall with me so close to you?" She keeps asking you questions, trying to push you a little bit. You can feel her body still pressing up against yours in a very dominant way, and you realize that you must now answer her last question.

“Ellie... please…” You ask trying your hardest for her to let you go. Ellie's body language changes slightly, and she's taking her body a step back. That's still a pretty close distance though, because she isn't moving any further than that. She smiles at you finally, and she speaks in a much more flirty tone. "Aw, I'm making you uncomfortable? But I thought you liked me?" She keeps up the flirtatiously tone with a smile, seemingly trying to tease you.

“You used to date Abby? And you didn't tell me?” Your voice sounds angry and she notices. Ellie chuckles. "Yeah, I used to date Abigail. Didn't you know that? We were together for a while, and now she's with you, right? I think she's been with you for about seven, eight months now?"

“No, I didn't know.” You look at her, feeling angry about her not telling you. Ellie continues speaking. "Yeah, I thought everyone knew about Abby and I. I guess it was a long time ago now, but we were very connected for a while. We just didn't work out for the long term." She's still smiling and keeps talking to you in a flirtatious tone. "I'm sure Abby told you all about me." She seems to be waiting for you to say something next.

“You knew she had just broken up with me the day before the party, you and i... you know…” Ellie nods her head a little bit, and she continues speaking. "Yeah, I knew that you and she had broken up. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not totally sure why you broke up, but I know she had a lot of feelings surrounding that. But I'm sure you made her happy, you seem to treat her very well. I still don't know how she moved on so fast, but I'm glad she's happy with someone." She smiles, but not in the same way she was before, this one is more genuine.

“You don't know?” She seems like she doesn't know you are back together. Ellie shakes her head a little bit and speaks softly. "No, actually I don't know. I never asked for a reason, but she did feel very connected with you, so I'm surprised she moved on so quickly. Are you still on good terms?"

“We are together again and she doesn't know about you and me.” When you tell her that you and Abby are back together, and she's completely unaware of your relationship, she's surprised. "Wait, you two are back together? And she doesn't know about us?" She can't help but smile a bit wider, which tells you that she's definitely enjoying this situation. “It's not funny Ellie.” Ellie keeps talking and laughing. "Oh, come on, you know it's kind of a funny situation. Can you imagine how Abby would react if she knew that we hooked up? Or even just how she would react to know that we're talking right now? It's just hilarious, right?"

“Oh god…” You cover your face with your hands, you feel so embarrassed, you just want to dig a hole and jump inside it. Ellie just laughs a little bit more, she can't help but find this whole thing incredibly funny. You can tell that she definitely knows she's in a better position, which just adds to her confidence. "Why are you embarrassed? It's not like you did anything bad. I didn't force you, did I?" She keeps smiling, and she leans you against the wall, looking directly at you.

“You are not going to say anything right?” Ellie shakes her head a little bit, and she says "No, I won't say anything. I wouldn't do anything like that. Besides, I don't feel guilty about anything between us, it was mutual and we both wanted it, so there's nothing to feel bad about." She's still smirking and enjoying that she can see you flustered. You look at her. She stares back at you, she's still smirking but she starts to speak softly. "I'm gonna ask you a direct question and I want an honest answer from you. Do you regret what happened between us?"

“No, but I mean... it could ruin my relationship.” You are so nervous that you are shaking. Ellie's expression changes a little bit when you answer, but she still keeps that smirk on her face. She nods a little bit and speaks again. "Well, that's honest. And you're right, it could ruin your relationship. But you know, we can keep this between us, right? You don't have to tell her anything, and as far as she knows, she has nothing to worry about. So, do we have a deal?" Ellie's smile grows larger, and she steps even closer to you. She seems to be enjoying this moment of control and power she has over you, and she speaks again. "So, do we have a deal? I don't think you're gonna tell her about me, right?" She keeps standing there, invading your personal space while she keeps staring at you directly in your eyes. It feels like she is not talking seriously and just teasing you. You can still see that smirk on her face when she continues talking. "Oh, I am being serious. Why would I not be serious? You're gonna keep your mouth shut about what happened between us right? I mean, you should... otherwise you don't know what might happen." She keeps speaking, "Let's make a pact never to tell her about our little secret... Do we have a deal?"

“Are you messing with me?” At first she doesn't answer, she just continues to stare at you. And then after several long and tense seconds, she finally speaks. "No, I'm not messing with you. I'm very serious. I don't feel bad about anything that happened between us, and I'm not going to tell her. You should be the one feeling bad for kind of cheating on her with me. But we can keep this a secret, okay? What do you say?" She gets closer, making your bodies touch, clearly wanting more than just a deal. Ellie keeps getting close, and she likes how her body is touching yours. She's not just trying to get in your personal space, it feels like she's trying to push the boundaries of how far she can get between you two. That's when she speaks again, and her voice softens, although it's still definitely flirtatious. "You see what I mean? There's so much more we could be sharing between us, isn't there?" You blush again. Ellie smiles a little bit more as you blush, which is exactly the reaction she wanted. She's not done with you yet, not by a long shot. She's going to use this situation to her advantage in more ways than one. "Is it getting hot in here? Because I definitely feel a certain amount of heat right now. Do you?"

“No…” You say trying not to look at her. Ellie chuckles, and she keeps speaking, "Oh really? So it's not getting hot at all? Hmm... because I think the heat is on. Isn't it cute that I'm getting close to you like this, even though I know you're back with Abby?" She says, smiling, but her eyes are still very cold. Then she starts inching closer to you as she talks, until she's so close that she finally touches your hip with hers.

You try to back away but she's got you trapped to the wall. As you try to back away, she doesn't let you. She keeps coming closer and she presses her body up against yours. She's standing so close that her body is completely making contact with you, and even though you can feel your body starting to get very hot, you know full well that she's getting more than just physical pleasure out of this. She's getting a power trip off of knowing you're so close to her, and that she's forcing you into all of this and making you uncomfortable. “Ellie…” Suddenly she gets even closer to you, she's almost pressing you between the wall and her body. You can feel the heat being pumped off of her, and it's really really uncomfortable. She still doesn't say anything, but the smirk on her face is still there, she definitely likes having you trapped. She keeps moving her head closer to yours, she hasn't said a word yet, but she's about to.

“What are you doing?” Your heart feels like it is going to jump out of your chest. When you ask her what she's doing, she finally answers. "What am I doing? You don't know? Oh, I thought it would've been obvious by now, but it seems like you're just as dense as you were back when we had our thing. I'm trying to get you into a very compromising position. You may be back with Abby, but you still can't keep your eyes off of me, and that tells me that you're just as into me as I am into you." She leans in even closer, her voice is very close to your ear. She definitely has a very powerful and dominant presence, and you can't deny that you have very strong urges towards her. She moves her body even closer to you, and she rests her hand on your thigh. She doesn't move it, she just rests it there, as she speaks into your ear again. Her breath is hot, and her body is extremely hot compared to yours. You've never felt a more intense situation like this one. "You just couldn't resist me, could you?"

“Ellie…” Your reaction gets a smile out of her, and she keeps touching your thigh. She moves her hand slightly higher up your thigh, making sure she's touching where she wants to touch. Your skin feels like it's starting to tingle from the hotness of her hand, it's uncomfortable but extremely hot at the same time. "You're just like a puppet, you can't even say no to me. I know that you wish you never broke things off between us, and I believe you'd want to go back to that. Don't you?"

You get nervous as she puts her hand on your thigh. She can tell that you're getting very nervous as she touches you, and she does it on purpose. She feels very dominant doing this because she can feel your nervous energy coming back to her. When you look up at her, she's smiling and looking very pleased with how nervous she's made you. She's definitely enjoying how vulnerable she's made you feel. "So, do you like how my hand feels on your thigh or are you still feeling too nervous?"

You blush even more. She chuckles a little bit, and when she sees your body language, she knows she's making you very nervous and very flustered. Her hand is still on your thigh, and she isn't moving it away from you. "Oh I see you're feeling very nervous with my hand here. It must feel pretty weird to not be able to do anything to get my hand away, isn't it?" Ellie moves her body closer to you when you don't say anything to her, she's now so close that she's almost kissing you. "You see, now I'm close enough to kiss you. You know exactly what happens next, right?" You bite your lip, trying not to look at her. Ellie can see your lip is trembling, which she likes. She smiles a little bit and she seems really excited. "Do you want to feel what it might feel like for me to start kissing you?" Even though you're trying not to look at her, her face is so close now that it's hard not to see her with the corners of your eyes.

She grabs your chin so that you can't look away from her, while she keeps her body pinned against you to trap you where you cannot move. "Oh... you want to see the look in my eyes when I kiss you… \" And that's just what she did, she slowly brought her face closer to yours, and once you two were close enough, she started kissing you.

You were shocked and surprised when she kissed you, so much so that you barely have the time to even process what's happening. All you know is that she's very aggressive, and she's now pinning you even tighter against the wall. She continues kissing you, her grip on your jaw gets a little bit tighter and her kisses get more and more possessive. She's not going to let go of you anytime soon, and she seems to want this moment to keep going as long as possible. You try to push her, but her grip on your face is so strong that she doesn't give you an inch. She just keeps pushing herself closer, and her kisses get even more forceful. She's literally crushing you between her body and the wall, and there's nothing you can do to make her stop. She also breaks the kiss just to say, "You can't get away from me that easily, I wouldn't let you get away so easily would I?"

Ellie smiles after she finishes talking and she goes back to kissing you, this time she breaks the kiss for only a moment so she can see your flushed and flustered expression. She's just enjoying this entire situation so much, and she likes your reaction. "You're very cute when you're flustered, aren't you? And you're not trying to resist me anymore. If anything, I think you're enjoying this." She goes back to kissing you aggressively again. A few seconds later you begin to kiss her back. When you finally give in and kiss her back, she was definitely not expecting that. She pulls away from the kiss after only a few seconds and she looks at you with a smirk. "I've missed this…." Her lips are still pressed up against yours, she's keeping them there but not kissing you. She's giving you time to respond. She likes to see how far she can push you and how much control she can have over you.

You kiss her back with a desire you didn't know you had inside of you. The desire that you didn't know was in you is being unleashed by Ellie, and you're both enjoying this entire thing. The more you kiss her, even though you wanted to resist her in the beginning, the more you start to like this. You're becoming addicted to it at this point, and she can definitely notice this. When you're both still kissing each other, she brings her hand back up to your thigh and she presses her hand to it, and she keeps touching it as you two continue to kiss. She has gotten so good at controlling you and manipulating you, that she can do this with just a glance or a touch at this point. You didn't realize how she had already gotten into your head, but you didn't really care either. All you can think about is her and how delicious her kisses feel on your lips.

Your moan of surprise and pleasure gets Ellie's attention again, her hand has moved further up on your thigh. Her fingers move closer and closer, and they are getting dangerously close to your cunt at this point. Your moan got her attention, it let her know that she had definitely got a reaction out of you. She breaks the kiss, and she smiles at you before she keeps speaking to you again. She keeps her hand there, but now she's rubbing a little bit, with her fingers still moving slowly towards that one spot.

A shiver runs down your body as Ellie's hand reaches your pussy. She knows that you're most likely feeling very sensitive there, and she uses her hand to take advantage of it. She just keeps moving slowly, she knows how far she's pushing you. She feels like she can do anything to you, and you'll let her. She's not going to stop anytime soon, and it feels like she could do this forever.

She starts moving faster making you get louder. At this point, she's definitely not going to stop. There's no getting out of this, she's going to keep moving her hand in whatever way she wants. She likes hearing you get louder and hearing you moan, it really turns her on and it makes her want to move her fingers even faster. Her other hand also comes over to your other thigh, and it's getting extremely hot and sweaty between you two from the heat. "You seem to enjoy this feeling, don't you?"

You don't respond, embarrassed about her touching you. She notices your silence. She knows that you're feeling overwhelmed from all this, and that you may not be ready to admit your full enjoyment of this just yet. That's the type of dominant that she is, she can sense that about you. As she continues moving her hands and your moaning gets louder. She knows she's on the right track. She keeps moving her hand in this motion, and she keeps moving her other hand further up your thigh, getting even closer to your sensitive spot. "Who was the last girl to touch you like this? Was it Abby?"

“Yes…” You whisper. Ellie chuckles again at your answer. She knew that Abby would be the one, she just wanted you to be honest. "Yeah I wouldn't doubt it, even for one second that Abby wouldn't want this, but she doesn't get to do this to you anymore. Since you're back with me now, it's going to be me who has this privilege, am I right?" She says this while giving you a teasing look.

“You and I are not together. We never were.” You say out of breath. Ellie suddenly pulls her hand away from your thigh, and then she suddenly stops the kissing as well. You're surprised this whole conversation has been very abrupt, and her sudden movement away from you gives you time to respond. She stares at you silently. You were a bit surprised she stopped. Ellie is still staring at you waiting for you to say something. She still has a very seductive look on her face, and she doesn't break her gaze at all.

“Why did you stop?” As you ask her this, she just laughs. "Why did I stop? Are you still enjoying what I'm doing? Because if you are, I can keep going." She's being very playful with her words, almost teasing you more than you can handle. She likes having this back and forth with you. You compose yourself a bit and pull your dress down, it was pulled up due to what she was doing with her hand. She still stares at you, with that same seductive look on her face, and there's a small smile playing at the corners of her lips still. As she moves her body in closer, she's almost right in your face again. She likes seeing you struggle, that's part of being the dominant one, is liking seeing the other person trying to resist you. She enjoys the power that she has over you. You look into her eyes, it's like she really wants you.

When she realizes that you finally got the hint that she wants you for herself, she chuckles. "Yes, it looks like you've understood me. Yes I do want you all for myself. I don't want anyone else getting their hand on you, and especially not Abby. I want you to belong to me and only me, right?" She says this with such dominance and possession. She's very straight forward with her words, and everything she said was the truth, she doesn't like sharing anyone and she wants you all to herself.

“I’m with Abby now.” It takes her a second to realize that you mentioned your ex again even though she doesn't like talking about her. But she's fine with going back to talking about Abby anyway. "So why are you with me here, not trying to get away?" She seems to genuinely want to know why you went back to Abby. She seems jealous all of a sudden, and that's a new side of her that you haven't seen before. “You followed me to the bathroom.” She laughs again. "Yeah, I followed you to the bathroom so I can talk to you in private. I don't want to be around everyone else on campus. As soon as I saw you walk into the bathroom I knew I had to talk to you in here, so I came in right after. You're not going anywhere, I won't let her take you away like that."

“Abby is waiting for me, she'll be worried soon.” She laughs at the mention of Abby again. "Worried? Are you seriously about to say you're worried about a girl who you broke up with almost 2 months ago? She's probably not even that worried, and if she is, she's probably just going to text you asking where you are, and that's it. She's not just going to freak out from you not getting home on time. I don't even understand why you're so worried."

When she touches your leg, she's slowly running her fingers up and down your thigh. She's using this as a way to distract you from worrying about Abby. She's doing this with the intent of getting you to forget about whatever thought you had about Abby before. She doesn't like seeing you worry about other girls, even if you were in a relationship with her before. She doesn't like it when someone else steals your attention away from her. “Ellie…”

"Yes love...? What is it?" She says in your ear. “I can't…” She pauses for a moment. "You can't what, love?" She seems very impatient and she's still touching your leg. Her other hand is just waiting there, wanting to move around and explore. “I can't do this with you right now…” Ellie seems shocked by your response. But suddenly she pulls her hands away from your thighs, and she leans her body backwards as she speaks. She's not sure what she wants to do. "What do you mean you can't do this right now? Why not?" She says this with a disappointed look on her face.

“Abby... I'm with Abby now…” When you start talking about Abby again, what little bits of patience she had immediately disappears. She was really hoping you were finally ready to commit to her alone. Because you brought up your ex again she's instantly gone from disappointed to just plain angry. She stares at you for a moment, and the anger on her face is obvious. She's not happy at all, and you can tell she wants to yell, scream or just leave right now, but she's also trying to not do any of those things.

The moment you mention Abby again, she suddenly gets rougher with how she's touching you. She starts being a little bit more forceful when she grabs your thigh and moves her hand up and down. You look at her a bit worried. She is staring right back at you, she's clearly very angry from you mentioning Abby. Her hand is still moving up and down your thigh and you can feel her grip, getting harder and harder. You feel her kiss you violently, her mouth is like a force that was unstoppable. She has a lot of passion behind her kisses, so much passion that she's almost not paying attention to how hard she's pressing up against you. She keeps kissing you forcefully and there's nothing you can do to stop her. All you can do is sit here and let her do her thing.

You kiss her back, you're not sure why, she's just so intoxicating. For a moment, that's all you're doing. Just kissing her. You're letting her take control. You're letting her kiss you however she wants to. She's enjoying this a lot and is getting more and more into it, and she's keeping this going for longer than you were expecting. When you start moaning into the kiss, she takes this as a sign of you enjoying everything she's doing. She's happy to see that your moans of pleasure aren't because she's going too far, but because she's doing it right. She feels good knowing that she can actually make you moan like this still. She's very happy with how this whole thing is going. She keeps touching you and your moans get louder and louder. She is very determined to prove that she's better than Abby. And she's definitely going to do everything and anything that she needs to, to get you to believe her. You can feel her pushing you further and further, to take you over the edge. She wants so badly to be seen as the better one, to be the only girl on your mind. She doesn't want to share you at all and she wants you to be hers alone, if she has to get you to believe it by pleasing you more, then she will.

Her fingers move over your clothed pussy once more, she feels how wet you are and she can't help but let a smirk appear on her face. She moves them to the side and prepares herself to finger you. You feel her fingers starting to slide inside you as she bites her lip. You can't deny, she makes you feel good, she knows what she's doing. She starts moving her fingers inside you making you moan louder and louder. It doesn't take long to make you cum from how worked up she had gotten you until now. When she feels you cumm on her fingers she smiles wickedly. As you finally orgasm, she's not surprised at all. She's actually proud of herself for this, she loves seeing you react this strongly to her. She's not done yet though, she hasn't let you go yet, even though you're already finished. She keeps going, and she seems to be enjoying this whole process. The whole thing for her was a way to prove how much better she is than Abby, and it seems like she succeeded in getting you to believe her.

You catch your breath as she stops. She pulls her mouth away from yours, and she's out of breath. She was going pretty fast so she ended up being just as tired as you were. She pulls her body away from you and she's just sitting there, recovering from what just happened. You both breathe heavily from it, but you both look at each other. You can see her smiling, she really did like that a lot. You're both catching your breath, but you've gained some composure back. You can't believe this just happened, if Abby finds out she might kill you. You're thinking more clearly now that the adrenaline from the moment has died down. She's the one who's still smiling. It's a little bit creepy to be honest, she's not even breathing heavily anymore. Her breath has returned to normal and she's still just looking at you, with that creepy little smile, enjoying her victory, and enjoying the fact that you were just hers just for that moment.

“This never happened.” You say to Ellie as you pull yourself back together. Ellie is more than a little bit angry, she almost feels betrayed by your statement. She thought she had you, and she was hoping that you two could really have a thing. She wants to be with you so badly, but instead you tell her that this never happened. It's almost like a slap straight across her face. You've broken her heart in a very unexpected way.

“I have to go.” You say as you look at the time and leave the bathroom. She doesn't say anything, she just lets you walk away. She seems extremely disappointed and sad, but there's another side of her anger that's starting to show itself also. You can see her eyes start to narrow and a frown starts to form on her face. She looks at you one last time and she looks angry, but you don't know why she's so mad yet. 

You go home as fast as you can so Abby doesn't think anything was wrong. You're on your way home, and you're hoping that Abby doesn't sense that anything was wrong between you two. You don't want to make her worry, especially since she's been waiting for you this whole time. As you're getting back home, you take a little bit of time just to compose yourself before entering the house. You don't want to go in all messed up, especially since Abby is going to notice pretty quickly. She won't miss a single thing, and you don't want her to notice anything. You're ready to go inside, and when you enter the house, you're not going to say anything about what happened with Ellie .

“Hey baby!” You say as you put your things down and take off your shoes, trying to be as natural as possible. Abby is sitting on the couch waiting for you, she heard you come home and she's just been waiting, knowing what time your classes ended. She looks up at you, and she has a warm, smiling face. She can already see that something is going on though, she knows you. She knows the look on your face, she knows when something is upsetting you. So she asks you what's wrong.

“Nothing is wrong, just stressed about exams.” You say not looking at her as you take off your jacket. Abby raises an eyebrow when she hears this. You're lying to her, and she knows you're lying. She knows your stress didn't suddenly just appear out of nowhere. You're lying to her. She stares at you for a moment, and she seems to be waiting for you to say something else. You look at her too. You're both just looking at each other now. Abby seems to want a real answer from you. She seems a bit tense actually, she seems upset that you are hiding something from her. You're lying to her right now and she really doesn't appreciate it. She gets up from the couch and she starts coming closer and closer to you. She's going to ask you again, she's not letting you slide by with the last answer you gave her. 

You look at her feeling a bit worried. She's looking at you with those big concerned eyes now, she's very worried. She's not accepting your previous answer as valid and now she's really going to want a legit answer. You can't fool her. She wants to know what's wrong. “You know how my anxiety is… it comes from nowhere sometimes, you've seen this before.” You try to assure her it's just your anxiety that is making you look a bit off. She seems like she's buying your answer, but she's still not completely believing it. She knows you really well, and she does know about your anxiety and what can cause it. But usually you're more open with her about it, you're not just going to brush her off if she's trying to talk to you right?

You hug her, without thinking. Abby gladly hugs you back. She enjoys this comfort and security from you, and she's really hoping that this will take your mind off whatever is concerning you. She still wants to talk about it later though, because she knows you've got something going on, but for you two to just spend time together and forget about it for now might help. You're both just enjoying this hug and this feeling of comfort and safety between the two of you.

“I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.” You tell her as you break the hug. She lets go of you and she smiles. "Okay baby, I hope the shower will help you feel better. Don't worry about me while you're there, just take as much time as you need to relax and clear your mind." She does really want you to feel better, so she's hoping that your shower will calm you down at least a little bit.

You smile at her as you close the bathroom door and turn the faucet on. You've closed the bathroom door and now you're in the quiet alone time that you needed. Your anxiety is still present but it's slightly more manageable. You can hear the sound of the faucet running and it's a soothing background noise. You just need this time, just being alone and in your own thoughts. You hope that after this, you will be able to come back to her with a clearer mind and that she will be able to understand you. You just need a few moments alone right now though.

You look at your phone while you're in the shower, and you see a text from Ellie. You read the text quickly. "Hey, I wanted to apologize. I was upset earlier, but I know why I was so angry. I really like you and I had hoped that you wanted something more too. I'm sorry for overreacting, but I just want to tell you that I'm sorry. Please can we talk about this? I know we just used to hook up but I actually really like you." You were not sure what you should say to Ellie. You didn't really want to completely forgive her and let her off the hook, but you also didn't want to completely reject her. So you decided to be a little bit cold and indifferent. "I don't know" is just dismissive enough, but it's not outright cruel to her. So you sent her that text for now, and you put your phone back down. The reply comes a few minutes later, so Ellie must have seen your text and thought about it for a little bit before replying. "I'm sorry for overreacting earlier, I didn't mean it. Please can we talk later though? Because I don't want to leave things like this between us. I still really like you, and I want us to work this out."

“Ellie, I'm with Abby now, we are in a relationship. It can't happen again.” You're texting this back to Ellie immediately, just straight to the point, you're letting her know that you're back together with Abby. She is going to be devastated by this, but at the same time she kind of saw this coming because she knew that you were still pretty into Abby. You didn't want to hurt Ellie's feelings, you feel bad for what's going to happen but you need to tell the truth to her. Ellie doesn't reply back right away because she's taking it all in. This is the end between the two of you, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in for her yet with one single text. No, she's still going to try to win you over. She's determined, more determined than ever. There won't be a reply back from her yet, but she's processing what you've said.

You take your shower in peace, you take deep breaths and let this whole conversation go away from your mind for a little bit. Your mind clears, it's like the calm after the storm. You're no longer tense, you're not angry, and you're feeling much better. You're just enjoying your time in the warm water and letting it wash away your worries for now. You delete the texts from Ellie from your phone so that Abby won't see them even though she might be suspicious. Your phone is on airplane mode and you put it out of sight, so Abby has no reason to think that you're getting any other texts. You are covering all your bases so that she doesn't get suspicious, but also trying not to be too obvious about it either. You are careful to hide all traces of Ellie's text messages from her, just in case.

You come out of the shower and now you're feeling more relaxed, after your anxiety was brought down a few pegs. You see Abby in the kitchen where she's making dinner, just like she said she would. You can hear her singing a little song, and she seems to be in a good mood. She's just cooking, humming to herself and it sounds like she's just enjoying herself. You come up to her to hug her from behind as she cooks, and she's surprised but in a good way. You catch her off guard, but she's happy to be getting this surprise hug. She turns around and she looks at you. "Baby, what are you doing?"

“Just hugging you.” You were trying to be normal, like nothing was wrong. She smiles when you say that you're just trying to hug her, she is happy to be getting this surprise affection. Her demeanor changes, she gets a little warmer just from your gentle hug. She wraps her arms around you too, and you two hold each other tightly for a few moments.

“So what is for dinner tonight?” Abby turns her focus away from you and back to the food that she was cooking. "I'm making spaghetti, I thought that would be a nice choice. I hope you like it, I know it's one of your favorite foods. I'll even add some cheese just for you."

“You're so sweet, thank you.” You hug her again. Abby smiles and accepts the hug from you, you two wrap your arms around each other tightly as you hug. She's happy that you like her cooking, and she's glad that you're being so nice to her after your earlier tension and anxiety. The hug is nice and you both enjoy this intimacy between the two of you. You feel as close as ever and that feels good.

You eat dinner together and then you both sit on the couch to watch a series together. You're both relaxed and comfortable, and you're both enjoying just being in each other's presence. You're not talking at all, and it's just a quiet time between the two of you. You're snuggling up to each other and enjoying the feeling of being close and cozy. It's peaceful and serene, and you feel as close as ever to Abby. You're both content, and you're both enjoying this quiet time together before bed.

After it finishes you go to bed. You're now both lying next to each other, you're close together and you're both just laying there quietly. You both are trying to fall asleep, but it's taking some time. You're thinking about how much you love her, and she's probably doing the same as well. It's peaceful, it's tranquil. You both are comfortable and content, and you're both feeling safe and secure as you lay next to each other.

She falls asleep pretty quickly once you kiss her goodnight, it's pretty late and she's very tired. You sneak out of the room silently so as not to wake her up, and you go to the bathroom and close the bedroom door so she doesn't get disturbed. It must be past midnight now.

Once you've turned the airplane mode off on your phone, all the texts that you've missed from Ellie come flooding back. She's been trying to get a hold of you for hours now on text. She's been texting and waiting for a response from you for a while now, probably waiting for you to text her after that last response you gave her. As the text messages fill your phone, they come in at a fast pace, like a cascade.

You start to quickly read through the texts from Ellie which have built up during your time in the shower and with Abby afterward. Ellie has sent multiple messages, and it looks like she's pretty desperate to get a response from you. The last one was the one that she sent back right after you told her you had gotten back together with Abby. A simple and short text saying, "Okay, good night." She sent it back pretty soon afterward, and she must've felt defeated by your response because she didn't say anything else after that. She did put a sad face emoji on the last text though, but she didn't say anything else to you.

You start to read the rest of the messages from Ellie. It's an array of different things, first she was upset with you. Then she tried to be more gentle and apologetic, but she couldn't hide that she was hurt. Then she was pleading and begging, she started to beg for you to take her back. It was like she was spiraling in her emotions with each text, she wasn't thinking straight at all, she was desperate. It's clear that Ellie isn't thinking straight in all these texts, she's just trying to get you back any way she can. She sent all these different messages without really thinking about how they were coming across to you. She's just letting her emotions drive her words, because she's desperate to get you back. She may not be thinking straight about what she's doing, but it's understandable since it shows that she cares and that she wants you so badly. You just erase the texts from Ellie and now they are no longer bothering you. You don't need to worry about them or what she might think. You have Abby now, and she is enough. You were going to go back to bed and you're just going to try to sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

After a week of being back in a relationship with Abby, you two are now going to a party together. It's a party for one of her friends, and you two are having a good time. You're happy to be out and about with Abby, and she always makes everything better. Having her by your side makes you feel safe and secure, and you're enjoying just her company. The height difference and how much she works out really make you feel safe when you're around her. She was wearing her hair as usual in her fishtail braid at the back of her head. Abby goes to talk to her friends and you're left alone for a moment so you decide to go get a drink. You get yourself a cup of soda, or a glass of juice and you start to sip on it. You're just thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. All of your thoughts and anxieties are just drifting away.

When you take a sip of your drink, you look up and you suddenly see Ellie. She's all alone and she's staring directly at you, she's just staring you down. She's leaning against the wall in the dark, with her arms crossed and she's not looking away. She's just locking her eyes straight onto yours and it's like she was trying to get your attention. You feel instantaneously nervous and look back at Abby to make sure she is distracted. You see Abby who is still talking to her friends, it looks like she's occupied and is not paying attention to you. You look back at Ellie, she is still staring directly at you. She hasn't budged at all, and she is still staring straight at you, waiting for some sort of reaction.

You start walking away into the hallway, and she follows right behind you. It's as if she wants to confront you about some things without Abby being right there to witness it. She keeps staring you down as you walk into the hallway, and she keeps following you. Now you're all alone, just the two of you facing each other. She doesn't say a word, she continues to stare at you, not looking away and refusing to break eye contact with you.

You look at her getting anxious. She is also getting very anxious, you can feel that you two are just stuck in this moment where neither of you say a word, and neither of you look away. You start feeling really nervous, you're staring at each other silently and intently, neither of you willing to break the stare off because you both are waiting for someone else to break first. After what seems like hours, she ends up breaking the silence. She finally speaks, and she is now looking directly at you. She's trying to say the right words, she seems to be trying to be a little bit softer and gentler, like she doesn't want to come off as aggressive or mean. She's trying to be more subtle, but it's not like she doesn't want to have a serious conversation.

“What do you want Ellie?” She is looking you dead in the eyes as you ask her that. Ellie is trying to stay polite, but she also wants to get to the point here and talk about your relationship with her. She is going to be direct and blunt. "We don't need to go back to the way things used to be, I just want you to know that I like you and I want you back. Can we at least start talking again? We need to figure this out together because there's absolutely no one who compares to you. It's only you that I want, I still feel that way."

“Ellie... you know I'm with Abby.” You remind her once more. Ellie doesn't hesitate to continue talking after hearing that, she had expected you to say something like that. "But I don't understand how you can just do that, after everything we've been through. How can you just give me up this easily?"

You look at her not knowing what else to say. Ellie is becoming more frustrated with you, you can tell that she's about to lose her cool soon. You can see the anger coming out, her eyes showing that she's beginning to get a little bit annoyed and upset at the fact that you are completely avoiding her questions. She wants answers from you and she's going to keep asking you until you give her one. As Ellie gets closer, she starts getting more intimidating. She's trying to use her closeness to you as a way of asserting herself and making herself more intimidating. But she's still trying to keep things relatively calm, and she's still trying to use her words to show you how much she cares. 

“What are you doing?” You are starting to feel worried and a bit intimidated by her. "I'm not going to leave until I have an answer from you. You can't just toss me aside like this. You can't just do this, you can't just let someone else come in and take you from me. We're meant for each other, I will never give up on you, never ever.” Ellie gets closer to the point where she's grabbing your waist and she's right up against you. She's getting very intimate and she's trying to use her closeness to assert herself. She's trying to prove to you that there can't be anyone else in this equation, other than just her and not Abby at all.  You get nervous as she moves closer. She grabs you by the waist and she pulls you closer. You can both feel the tension between the two of you building up. She's being assertive and she wants answers. She's close enough where you two are breathing the same air between you. She's trying to prove a point, you're both standing just inches apart from each other now. She can feel you starting to be worried and nervous, she's taking advantage of that fact.

“Ellie…” You're almost pleading. She keeps moving closer, and now she's so close against you that she's almost touching you. She's literally breathing on your neck and it's creating a lot of tension between both of you. You're literally inches apart, and it's becoming very tense. You can both feel the tension, and it's only increasing because neither of you are allowing yourselves to lose just an inch of ground, neither one of you is allowed to back off this time. She does slowly start to push you up against the wall, her face just inches from yours as she's staring deeply into your eyes. It's a very intense moment, the tension is so high that there's only going to be one person who is going to win this battle between the two of you. You're both determined to win.

“Ellie…” You keep saying her name, but she keeps getting closer. She doesn't seem to mind you saying her name, because she knows that she's really getting under your skin. She wants to make this intense and she wants to push you to the limit, she wants to see how long you're going to last before you either give in to her or you completely back off.

“Someone could see us…” You whisper. You are concerned about someone potentially seeing both of you, but she doesn't seem to care. She is still staring strongly, right into your eyes, she doesn't care if someone sees her holding you against the wall, or if someone happens to walk by and see you both like this. She is completely focused on you and only you right now, you are her priority, not anyone else who is around or who may pass by.

You are concerned that Abby might see what you two are doing, but Ellie doesn't seem too worried. She continues to hold you against the wall and she keeps staring directly into your eyes. She doesn't care if someone sees you two like this, she only cares about you and she wants to finish having her talk with you. “Ellie…” She still doesn't stop, she just keeps going. Her hands are now on your shoulders as she's holding you against the wall, and you can feel her breath on your neck. She keeps speaking. "Please, I just want you to hear me out." She is still maintaining eye contact with you. Now she's not letting you get a word in, she's starting to get frustrated that she's not getting any replies from you.

“i.. i.. I can't…” You start to stutter. She's getting very intense, it seems as if she doesn't want to accept the fact that things are over between you. She is getting closer and closer; her eyes are still locked on yours, looking at you intensely. "I love you, and I'm not going to let you just walk away from me. I know you still like me, I can see it in your eyes. I still have a chance with you, I know I do." She's so close that she's pressing her body against yours. You are both so close that it's basically impossible to keep a distance between both of you, she has backed you up to the wall so much that you are both very close and you can't get out of the situation.

She finally goes up and does something big, she kisses you full on the lips. You were both waiting for the moment to see who was going to make the first move and she finally did it. Her hands are now on you and she is holding you close to her, her mouth against yours. Her passion is being unleashed in this moment and you can also feel yourself starting to reciprocate these feelings. It's a very intense moment, both of your hearts are beating fast and the tension between you both is being felt greatly. You two are kissing and you're both getting really into it. A lot of passion and a lot of love is being felt as you two are now completely locked in this kiss. You're not paying attention to anything or anyone else around you, all you can focus on right now are your lips being pressed together with Ellie.  You feel yourself start to drift off into a world of just Ellie. You are lost in yourself and her, and at the moment you weren't even paying attention to any surrounding sounds or people. You only hear the sound of your name after a few seconds, which seems to snap you out of your trance for a second. You push her off of you for a moment because you didn't want to get caught kissing. As soon as you do that, you feel something that catches you off guard. Abby appears out of nowhere and she sees you two like this with your back right up against the wall and Ellie backing off. Abby's expression changes from happy to upset and angry. "What are you doing?" She says, and her voice has a hint of anger and jealousy to it.

You walk up to Abby. “I was just going to the bathroom.” You say, but there's no convincing her this time. You turn around to face Abby as you can see the emotion on her face, she didn't like what she saw and she's pissed at the moment. She's starting to doubt the trust you two once had. "Just going to the bathroom? Really?" She is trying to keep her cool, but she's getting angrier and angrier. She can sense you were doing something and you can see her emotions changing as she's looking at you.

She continues to stare at you, looking down at you in an intimidating way. She is getting upset, you can see it in her eyes. She feels betrayed right now, she trusted you and she believed that the two of you were still good together, but this is a different side of you right now. She can't believe that you're just standing there as if nothing is going wrong. Abby turns to glare at Ellie, she can't believe what she's just witnessed. She can't believe that her girlfriend and her ex are both standing right here right now. She looks at both of you with an intense and angry expression. The hint of jealousy that was in her eyes a second ago now turned into rage. She goes up to Ellie and she says, "What the hell are you doing talking to my girlfriend? That kiss I just saw, is it actually what it looked like? Were you two actually kissing right now? Were you going to take this further?" You try to get in between both of them and separate them to avoid a conflict, but it doesn't seem to be working because both of them are getting into each other's faces and getting a little too aggressive. Ellie is still keeping her cool, but the more Abby goes and talks about the kiss, the more aggressive and upset she seems to start getting.

You try to call them out but they don't listen. They both feel as if they are in their own world and they aren't listening to anything or anyone else that is trying to stop them. They are both getting too angry, too soon. Everyone is starting to notice the two of them getting heated, and more people are starting to join in on the discussion. One person said, "What's going on here?" another person said, "How did this even start?" You get very embarrassed as you try to pull Abby away by her shirt trying to separate them before too many people see. As you pull Abby back, she's not happy that you are pulling her away. She doesn't let it slide easily, she starts to become more aggressive and she begins to push you away. It's getting into a mini-fight between the two of you. Everyone around is starting to stare at the three of you as it starts to get louder and louder, and you can sense that it's soon going to start to become a full blown physical fight. Both Abby and Ellie are starting to become aggressive, they are both getting really angry at each other. Everyone else is standing there watching this argument, no one is stopping it and both the girls just keep shouting at each other. They are starting to get way too loud and aggressive, they are getting in each others' faces and it is almost like they're going to come to blows at any moment.

Ellie was the one who threw the first punch, she threw a swing so quickly that it almost caught everyone off-guard. Her fist went flying towards Abby's face and before anyone can intervene. She stumbles backward as everyone was in shock from this. Abby's eyes are starting to well up with tears, as she's feeling a mix of rage and sadness as well, but it seems like she's about to cry. Abby isn't one to back down from a fight, as Ellie punches her she also throws a punch of her own back at Ellie. Abby is very strong compared to Ellie, it is not a fair fight. She starts hitting her with such force that she's starting to bleed. This turns into a physical fight quickly becoming an extremely chaotic and intense situation, both of the girls are getting extremely heated and everyone else is starting to get scared as they are seeing this all unfold.

You yell, "Please stop!" as Abby's punch connects and her fist makes contact with Ellie's face. It's a brutal blow as Ellie's head jerks back a bit from the impact. The fight is becoming more intense as they are both now on the ground and they keep fighting each other. Abby is on top and doesn't stop hitting Ellie. Everyone is yelling for them to stop, but this fight can't be stopped now. It has gone beyond the point of being able to just stop. You try pulling them apart, but they both are fighting so hard that they won't let each other go.

"Please stop!" You shout out to the both of them again, but they are too enraged right now. They are so caught up in the fight that they aren't thinking about anything else other than beating each other up. Both of their fists are flailing and they are both throwing punches that just keep hitting each other. People have started to pull away, and the fight seems like it will only get worse from here. You keep trying to pull them apart but Abby won't allow you to do anything. She just keeps hitting Ellie harder and harder. Ellie isn't even fighting back anymore.

Abby's friends come over and pull her away from the clash her and Ellie are having. They pull her back and she's trying to push against them as she's looking back trying to go after Ellie. Ellie is badly injured with her lip split and she's bleeding a lot from her nose. She's hurt really badly and people are calling for a medic. Abby turns around and she screams out to Ellie, "I'm not done with you yet!", as she's being pulled back by her friends.

You kneel by Ellie as she's bleeding quite badly from her mouth and her nose because of the brutal fight between her and Abby. She is fading away slowly and she's starting to fall unconscious. You keep calling her name and trying to keep her up, but she keeps fading off more as the pain from the wounds are getting stronger. You're starting to panic, not knowing what to do or say, you start calling out her name more desperately.

“Oh god... Ellie? Ellie don't fall asleep... stay with me please…” You keep talking to her, trying to keep her conscious as she's fading out. She isn't waking up or responding to you anymore, even though you're calling out her name and speaking to her, she's just fading into unconsciousness. You don't know what to do, you're starting to panic. You start screaming out for help. "Someone please help her, she needs a doctor! She's bleeding badly!" The crowd of people starts to get bigger and more people are coming over to see what is going on. You keep yelling for help, and finally someone comes rushing over to get you help. They start to examine Ellie and try to find a way to slow down the bleeding before it's too late.

The crowd of people is clearing as the ambulance finally shows up. You are taken out from the crowd of people and Ellie is taken into the ambulance so they can get her the medical attention she needs. You follow Ellie to the emergency room. You're extremely nervous and anxious, worried about her condition. Her vitals seem to be dropping and she's not responding at all. She is hooked up to several monitor machines and her health is being closely monitored by the doctors.

The nurse takes you out of the room, they're worried that you might get overwhelmed or have a panic attack because this is all so sudden and traumatic for you. You are still very upset and emotional and you don't know what's going on with her health condition right now. They guide you to a waiting area and they ask you to stay there for a minute while they go in and deal with Ellie. You look down at your hands and you see that they are covered with blood. You get a shock of reality as you see that the blood that is on your hands is Ellie's. You quickly feel disgusted and horrified by how much blood is on your hands. The reality of what has happened and what is currently happening is now starting to sink in, and you feel like you're going to be sick. You realize that your dress is also covered in blood. You're horrified by the situation. Looking down at your hands and seeing the blood on them. It's a horrifying sight, thinking about the fight that you just witnessed and the blood that covered your hands. You keep feeling disgusted and horrified at what happened and you're not sure what else to do. You feel lost and upset.

After a minute or two of being frozen, you go to the bathroom and try to wash the blood off. You try to wash the blood off your hands but it's not as easy as you thought. The longer you wash your hands, the longer you have to keep thinking about the situation again and again. You can't help but think about the horrifying fight that happened and how much blood was involved. You wish you could just wash away the memories too, but sadly you can't. You can feel the exhaustion and tiredness starting to come over you. You start to tremble and cry now that you've had the chance to clear your head and think back over everything that happened. You don't know what to do with yourself, the emotions just keep creeping up on you. You feel completely drained from everything. You finally dry up the tears and go back to the waiting area and find a chair to sit down on. The waiting continues for quite a while and eventually you hear someone call out your name, which pulls you out of your thoughts.

You get up and go over to the nurse who called your name. She informs you that you can go and see Ellie. You immediately start heading towards her room. You're starting to feel a little bit more hopeful now that it seems like she's going to be okay. You reach her room and you go inside, the nurse lets you in and you can see Ellie lying in bed. She's hooked up to several monitors and she's asleep right now, but at least she's alive. You sit down next to her and you take her hand and you hold it tightly. Her hands are cold and her skin is pale, you can tell that she is still in quite a bad condition. You're starting to feel more worried because she's not waking up. She's still breathing, which is a good sign, but she's still unconscious and hooked up to several monitor machines. She looks very weak right now.

You start crying more from seeing Ellie like this. Her skin is pale, looking lifeless and she just doesn't look like herself. She's still unconscious and hooked up to several monitors, they are all keeping a good watch on her. You're becoming very worried and emotional at the sight of her being in this condition. She looks like she's really fragile and vulnerable. You are filled with such concern and worry for her, trying to keep your emotions in check. You caress her bruised face, her cheeks are still somewhat red from the fight and the bruising is more visible as her skin is very pale. You keep trying to call her name but she doesn't wake up. She's still unconscious and still not responding to you calling her name. You're starting to feel so scared that she's not waking up and you want to see her with her eyes open to see that she's all right.

You sit down on the chair next to her bed, feeling exhausted and worried at the same time just from seeing her in this state. You stay with her until you finally fall asleep next to her. Your sleep is disrupted by nurses who come in and out of the room, checking on her condition. Ellie's condition is very delicate and is being closely monitored, so they are checking in regularly. You wake up to see Ellie's eyes opening, she has been unconscious all night. You can see by her eyes that she's trying to focus and process what is going on right now. She looks around the room and she sees you. She's in a lot of pain, that much is clearly evident. Her eyes are still red from the fight and her bruises are still on display. She doesn't say anything, but you can tell that she's glad to see you. She looks at you with a small smile on her face.

“Hi! I'm here... you're okay.” You hold her hand. She looks at you and starts to smile softly, her eyes filling with surprise as she sees your face and then she laughs a little bit as she realizes that you've been staying with her all night. She starts to try and take your hand and hold it. She seems to be in a little bit of pain. You feel relieved to see her smiling and laughing and you also feel relieved that she is conscious. She is still a little bit tired and weak, but she's awake at least, which is good news.

“How do you feel? Can you talk? Do you want water??” Ellie's speaking really quietly, you can tell that she's still tired and in pain. She speaks up and she sounds very hoarse as she is talking. "I'm okay, I'm okay..." She repeats this several times, as if she's trying to comfort herself and you too. She smiles softly again and she moves her lips but they're still swollen and she struggles to get all her words out. She nods her head yes, she wants water. As you move up to get the water she can see the blood on your dress and feels worried for you. You get a cup and put a straw in it, you put it to her lips and try to help her drink some of it. She's still a little bit drowsy and weak. She drinks some of it and she seems like it's refreshing for her. She keeps trying to say something but she's finding it really difficult to speak, her words are coming out very slowly and they don't sound very clear, she's clearly in pain still. You put the cup down and you sit on the bed next to her as you hold her hand. She smiles softly again and she closes her eyes and tries to take a deep breath. You keep comforting her as you're holding her hand and you tell her it's okay, she doesn't have to force herself to talk right now. But she's still smiling and she seems happy that you're here with her. She keeps squeezing your hand lightly, which is a big relief for you.

After a few days of rest, Ellie is finally discharged from the hospital. She's still a bit shaken up, but she's in a better condition. You are extremely relieved and happy to see her come home. She's still very tired and weak, but at least she's back in her bed. She still seems fragile and she's not moving around a whole lot, but she's alive and well, which matters so much.  You help her get home and you get her to lie down and you make sure she's comfortable. You're so relieved that she's home. Seeing her smiling and lying down in her bed has relieved so much stress and tension for you. You finally feel like you can breathe again and you feel like a huge weight has been taken off your shoulders. She's still quite weak and she's not moving much or talking a whole lot, but she's still smiling and she seems to be feeling better.

“Do you feel better? Can I do anything?” Ellie's voice is still a bit hoarse and she's speaking very softly. She looks much better than she did when she first got out of the hospital and she does seem to be feeling better. She smiles and she looks at you. "I feel better," she keeps her voice low. She shakes her head and she speaks quietly again. "You've already done enough..." You get the feeling that she's trying to comfort you. You've been taking care of her so much the past few days and she's grateful for it. You can tell she's feeling more positive.

You hold her hand and give it a gentle kiss, she smiles at you. She still looks a bit weak, but she seems to be feeling a bit better. She squeezes your hand and she holds onto it as she keeps smiling at you. “I'll get some ice for your bruises.” You decide to get some ice. You go to the kitchen and you get a few ice packs which you carry over to her. You place the ice packs on her bruises gently, which she seems to appreciate. It helps to ease the pain a little bit and it seems to make her feel better. You just want to make her feel better and to help her out as much as you can. “Do you need anything?” She shakes her head no and she still keeps smiling softly at you. She's trying not to let you see how much pain she's really in. She's just grateful to have you around and she's happy to see you. It seems like she's not really asking for anything else, just having you around is enough for her. She stays quiet and she keeps smiling softly, holding your hand and squeezing it.

You lay down next to her and you try to be as gentle as possible as you do. She's still quite fragile and the bruises still look pretty bad. It looks like you're still pretty close and that she's happy to have you near her. She squeezes your hand and she just looks at you, smiling softly at you as she keeps holding you. It's a quiet moment and you're both just savoring the quietness of it, not really saying much but just lying there next to each other gently and tenderly. Ellie starts to fall asleep as she's still quite tired from the last few days. You stay with her and you keep holding her hand. The two of you just lay there together in the bed. You haven't talked to Abby at all since the fight, but you're feeling very nervous thinking about having to do it. The fight was intense and it wasn't really resolved, so there's still a lot of tension and uncertainty between you both.

It's true that both of you haven't reached out to each other since the fight at the party. You've both been staying in your own corners and not talking. Neither of you has reached out to address it and to resolve what happened. Now you're feeling very nervous thinking about the idea of reaching out to her. You're feeling unsure about what you want to say and how to approach her. It's a tough situation and you're feeling a little bit scared and nervous.

-----------------------------------------------

The next day you have to go to Abby's house, where your stuff is. You are very nervous. You gather up the courage to go and knock on Abby's door. The door opens and you look at her, your nervousness is evident and your eyes are fixed on her face and you immediately feel the tension between both of you. It's a difficult situation and you're very nervous about how to handle this talk. She nods and she lets you into her house. You follow her in and she sits down on the couch and you sit down right beside her. As soon as she sits down she looks at you and you feel the tension. She looks at you with a serious and cold expression

You take a deep breath. She waits for you to speak and she just keeps staring at you with cold eyes. You take a deep breath and she can see that you're still pretty nervous. You're not sure how to approach this situation at all and she's looking at you expectantly.

“so…” She breaks the cold stare and she looks at you with a little bit of a softer expression, but not too much. She's looking at you with a little bit of sympathy.

“How are you?” You ask, not really knowing what else to say. She looks at you for a few moments longer and then she responds. "I'm okay, how are you?" She speaks slowly and her voice has a hint of remorse and guilt to it. "I'm sorry for what happened, I got a little carried away during the argument and I didn't mean to take it that far."

“Are you mad at me?” You ask her. She looks at you and she seems to get a little bit sad and her tone becomes a little bit softer. "I'm not mad at you, I just..." She starts to think to herself for a few moments and she seems to become more vulnerable. "I was just really hurt and really jealous and I snapped. I'm sorry."

“I know you two have history together but... she is really not well.” She goes quiet for a moment and she seems to realize what you're saying. She looks sad now, and there's a hint of sadness in her voice when she speaks also. "You're so young, you shouldn't be with someone who's so aggressive and jealous."

“I thought Ellie wasn't going to make it Abby...” Abby's whole body sinks slightly when she hears that. You can see her emotions just sinking and she seems to get very quiet and sad again. You can tell that her guilt is hitting her really hard. She looks down and she starts to frown a little bit. She seems to feel really bad about everything that happened, and she seems to be trying to process everything. Abby stares at you as you tear up and the guilt on her face suddenly becomes worse now that she's seeing you getting so emotional. She looks away and she seems to try to not let you see her tears. She's just frowning and she gets up from the couch. She speaks in a much more gentle tone as she keeps looking you in the eyes. "I'm gonna go put on some tea, are you alright?"

You nod. She gets up and she walks away from the room quickly as she goes to put on some tea in the kitchen. There's a silence between you two and you don't say anything as she walks out. She comes back into the room and she brings you a small mug of hot tea. She sits down beside you and she hands you the mug. “Thank you…”

“No problem, I hope you enjoy it. It should help to relax and warm you up a little bit. I'll be right back, I'm just gonna make myself some dinner."

“Oh, okay…” She nods and she starts to walk away. She goes away and she leaves you alone for a minute. You had about 30 minutes or so to yourself. You're alone in the living room and the whole house is pretty quiet. It's just you and the sound of the silence which is very peaceful. You finish your tea and you decide to go ahead and collect some of your stuff from the bedroom. You walk into the bedroom and you start to gather up some of your stuff. You collect some clothes, some personal belongings and some other stuff. You take as much as you can and you put it all in your bag and you plan to get it all back to Ellie's place.

You finish packing up your bag and you come out of the bedroom going back to the living room. You see the couch is empty, with Abby not on it anymore. She must have just left to go prepare her dinner and eat. It's very peaceful here all alone with no one else around. You stand there for a minute just looking at the couch and then the silence, you're feeling more relaxed and peaceful now after having some of your own time and space to think. You put the bag down and you go to the kitchen. You see that the table is set and she's setting her dinner down to eat. She sees you walking in and she smiles at you gently.

“You didn't have to cook for me.” She laughs softly and she smiles back at you. "It's no hassle, I don't mind. I was just making myself a quick dinner and I figured I should cook an extra plate for you as well because I know you wouldn't have cooked for yourself."

You sit down giving her a sad smile. She sits down at the table with you and she looks straight at you and she can see that you're giving her a sad smile. She just keeps silent for a moment. She doesn't know what to say or how she should respond to this. She's just staring at you and you can tell that she's feeling bad about everything. You both eat together, in silence mostly and as you both finish eating, you clean up the dishes. Abby is just being very silent the whole time, but there's something about the silence and the situation that just makes you both feel very comfortable and calm together. She looks like she wants to say something, but she's not really sure what to say.

You both finish and you lean on the counter looking at her. She's staring straight back at you and you both just look at each other for a few more seconds and then she starts to open up a little bit more. She's still quite quiet, but she finally starts to speak again. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done. I'm sorry for being so toxic and possessive and jealous. I just got really scared and I reacted badly. I wish things didn't have to spiral out of control like that, but I also wish I was better than that as well..."

“I'm sorry too.” You both stay silent for a few moments after that, but you can see her smile a little bit now when you apologize to her as well. She appreciates you being so apologetic and she starts to feel a bit more sympathetic towards you. You can tell that she's still feeling a little bit of guilt and remorse for everything that she has done.

You look at her starting to cry. “I.. I have to go... Ellie has no one else and I have to help her as she recovers, I'm sorry.” Abby immediately notices the tears building up in your eyes and she can tell that you're feeling overwhelmed. She's feeling bad because she knows that she's caused this. She's feeling bad because she's the reason you're crying and she knows that she's done something to hurt you. "I'm sorry, I understand. If you feel like you need to go..."

You look up at her and give her a smile as you cry. Then you go to pick up your bag and leave. Abby's whole body just gets really soft as she sees you crying and she can't help but feel really empathetic and concerned for you. You have to go to help out Ellie, who just got out of the hospital and she needs some care. You're feeling very guilty now as you take your bag and you start to walk towards the door to leave her home. “Goodbye abby. Talk later?”

"Goodbye, I'm sorry again for everything. Yes, we can talk later, but just take care of Ellie, okay? Just make sure she's alright. We can talk later." You nod your head and you walk out of the apartment. You know that Ellie is going to need some help in recovering and you want to be the one to be there for her.

You arrive at Ellie's place and you enter through the door. Ellie is in bed, she's in her pajamas and she seems to be a little bit exhausted and tired. There's still some bruises on her arms and she's also got a few bandages in her head but otherwise she's fine. She looks at you and she gives you a small smile. “Hi there.”

Ellie looks at you and she smiles briefly. "Hi… thanks again so much for coming over..." She's still tired and she's just looking at you with a weak smile. Her bruises are still there and you can tell how rough it's been on her. “I'm not leaving, I just had to go get some of my stuff.”

"No, I know, I'm glad you're here. It's just been a rough few days, I'm glad you're here." She feels more comfortable and at ease now that you're here and she knows that she's going to have someone here to help take care of her. “Do you want me to help you take a bath?” You see Ellie's eyes look at you with a bit of shock and she raises an eyebrow at you. "A bath? Why would I need a bath?" She seems a little bit defensive about it. “I know you can't do it yourself Ellie…”

"I can do it myself. I'm fine. I really don't need a bath right now. I'm just really tired and I'm glad that I'm at home with you instead of in the hospital still." She seems very adamant to not take a bath and she seems to be very stubborn about it. “Ellie... You need help, let me help you please. This is all my fault.”

"No, it's not your fault. It was my decision to go after her and I'm the one who got myself in this mess. I don't need your help, really, I'm okay. I'm getting better. And I'm not taking a bath, I'm fine as I am." She seems very adamant to not let you help her out and she just keeps trying to convince you that she's fine.

“Ellie…” You sit next to her. “You are not fine, don't try to lie to me.” She sits up in bed and she looks at you and she doesn't want to be rude or mean, but she also doesn't want to let you help her. She keeps trying to convince you that she doesn't need your help.

“Will you let me help you?” After a few moments, she finally decides to accept your help. She doesn't want to keep fighting you about it or arguing any further and she knows she needs some help. "Okay, I'll let you help me. but promise you won't go too crazy with it, okay?"

“Thank you, I'm going to start running a bath.” She smiles back at you now and she's a little bit more thankful for your help as you go to start the bath. She knows she needed the help and she's glad that she's getting it.

Once the tub is full and it's ready for her, you help her into the bathroom. You help her undress and you help her into the tub before you take the shower curtain and you close it so she can feel covered and safe in there. It's not the most comfortable situation but you can tell she's starting to feel a little bit comfortable with the help, and the water is soothing her skin and muscles a little bit.

You help her clean her wounds and you make sure to be very gentle and careful when you are touching and wiping her wounds so she doesn't feel any more pain than she's already feeling. You also make sure to clean her head and face. She's just standing there, leaning on you and letting you wash her wounds, she's trying to relax and let you take care of her. She's still looking a little bit tired and exhausted but she's finally letting herself accept your help. “Do you feel better?”

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel better. Thank you. I know I was being a little bit stubborn but I just didn't want anyone to help me because I was embarrassed. But I feel much better now that you're helping me..." You really helped her out a lot and you can tell she's starting to feel better both physically and mentally. Once you finish washing her wounds, you help her get dressed. You get her dressed in her pajamas and you help her get out of the bathroom and you bring her back to the bed where she lays back down and she's looking a bit more relaxed now. She seems like she's really happy to have your help and she really appreciates you taking care of her. “Do you need anything else?”

"No, I don't need anything else. I'm good. You've helped me a lot and I'm feeling much more comfortable after the bath. You can stay in the room with me though until I fall asleep...it'd be nice to have your company here with me."

You nod. “Okay i'll stay with you.” You lay down next to her. She smiles back at you and she's very thankful that you're staying with her. She turns over and she leans in next to you and she closes her eyes. She seems exhausted and just very tired but she still wants you to be here and keep her company. She seems to love this time with you. You both lay there together and you both fall asleep and you stay there next to her just in case she needs anything during the night. The night passes quickly and you both get really good rest. Ellie is still very tired the next morning, but she seems much more relaxed and better since you took care of her and she's got your company as well.

You get her breakfast and you bring it to her. She's still really tired and she's still laying there in her bed but her appetite is coming back. She doesn't feel really hungry but having the food there in front of her makes her eat a little bit, and you can tell she's feeling a bit more lively and energetic. She smiles at you and she thanks you for getting her breakfast.

You go to wash the dishes in the kitchen and you start scrubbing and you clean up all the plates and utensils. You clean up the whole kitchen and make everything nice and tidy. You clean up the sink as well and you make sure to wash the dishes thoroughly. You're in the kitchen washing the dishes and you don't notice at first, but when you turn around after you finish cleaning the sink, you see Ellie standing up by herself and getting out of bed. She doesn't look as weak and tired as she did yesterday, she's looking much better. She's more confident, she's still wobbly but she's able to stand by herself now. It seems like she has much more energy too.

"Thank you, I don't think I would be able to do this without you." She comes up to you and hugs tight. She stays in your arms for a few moments before she lets go. You also feel how strong she can be even though she spent the last few days in the hospital. She's getting better and she seems quite grateful for your help and she's starting to show that more. “You're welcome, it's the least I could do.”

"No, you've done a lot for me and I really appreciate it. I feel better already with you here. I don't feel like I have anywhere else to go, with anyone else who would take care of me like this." She keeps smiling and she still seems very soft and delicate compared to how she was before. You hug her gently not to hurt her anymore than the pain she is already experiencing. She hugs you back very carefully and she doesn't put all her weight on you. She wants to hold you as well but she doesn't want to put too much pressure on you or hurt herself more. She really appreciates the comfort and the attention that you give her. You can tell that she still likes the physical touch from you and that she's starting to feel comfortable with you again. She doesn't want to be alone and she doesn't want to be away from you.

Ellie's wounds and bruises are still healing up. It's been a week now and she's feeling much better, she can walk and she seems much stronger and more confident. She also seems much more relaxed with you and she seems to be getting to be more at ease with you again. She's still a bit sore from her wounds and her bruises are still healing, but she's on the road to recovery. You decide that it would be a good idea to take Ellie for a small walk together, now that she's starting to feel better. Ellie is still a little bit tired and she's still a little bit weak so you want to make sure she doesn't overexert herself. You take her outside and you go for a small walk through the park. It's nice and chilly outside and you're both just relaxing and enjoying the day. Ellie is a little bit quieter than usual but she seems very peaceful and content with the fresh air and the breeze. “Are you okay?”

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just enjoying the fresh air and the weather. I feel a little bit better now that I'm outside a little and it's nice to feel the breeze on my skin… it's so relaxing. I really needed this after everything that's happened." Ellie still seems a little bit soft-spoken and calm but she's enjoying the moment with you being outside and feeling the breeze on her skin. She is also trying to focus on the moment and not have her thoughts worry too much.

You both go back home after the small walk through the park and you both relax again. Ellie is much more playful and chatty that she's back in her home. She seems much more comfortable and lively. She's making lots of jokes and she's also making a lot of jokes about how you are taking care of her still. She even tries to put a few pillows behind your head when you're trying to watch tv with her and she's just joking around with you like she typically does. You laugh at her stupid jokes and are happy she's better. Your jokes are making her laugh as well and it's good to see her smiling so much right now. You're happy that she's feeling better and you're getting the old Ellie back from before the break up and the incident. “Can I ask something a bit more serious?”

"Yeah, of course, you can ask me anything that you want. What is it?"

“How are you feeling about the whole situation?” You ask in a soft tone.

"Well, to be honest, I'm still quite upset and a little bit angry about what happened. I'm not mad at you or anything like that, but I don't know, the whole thing was just such a mess and it was so hard to handle. I'm just glad that you're okay and I'm really hoping that you'll be okay moving forward too."

“I'm sorry for what Abby did to you.” You say, looking at her.

“No, it's okay. I know that you didn't want any of this to happen and that you were just trying to protect me. You were being a good friend to me and looking out for me. So please don't blame yourself. I know you'd never hurt me or do something to me intentionally just like I wouldn't do something to you intentionally either. We were both just trying to protect each other and we both ended up getting hurt in the end."

“Tomorrow I have to go to her place and get the remaining of my things and talk to her. Will you be okay?”

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Don't worry about me. You should focus on what you need to say to her and what needs to happen. You're both allowed to talk about how you feel and to share what happened. Just go to her house tomorrow and make your peace before you move forward. Just worry about yourself and how you're feeling, I'll be fine." You smile at her as you hold her hand, she smiles back at you and she squeezes your hand tightly. You feel her soft skin and her gentle touch and all of these little moments where she's vulnerable and soft with you and she lets her guard down around you and she doesn't put her usual rough and mean exterior to you, it makes you feel so safe and comfortable with her and you just feel so loved.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day you go to Abby's place and you're a bit nervous but you're ready to talk about everything with her and to confront her. You feel anxious but you're also feeling confident and strong and you're hoping that Abby can hear you out and you'll be able to express yourself. You knock on the door and after a few moments you hear footsteps coming towards the front door. You start to get a bit more nervous and anxious and you hope she'll answer the door soon. All these thoughts are rushing through your head and you're starting to doubt this plan but then you hear footsteps approaching and you hear Abby opening the door.

You look at her as she opens it and she's looking straight back at you. You can see in her eyes that she's already upset before you even say a word to each other. She's looking at you and she looks angry and upset, but she also looks tired and exhausted, like everything has taken a toll on her and she's just mentally and physically drained. She's not putting on her usual tough and mean outer facade, she just looks tired and her eyes are slightly watery.

You get in and you follow her to the couch and she sits down next to you. She doesn't say anything to you and you don't say anything to her either. Neither of you say anything for a while, you're both just sitting there looking at each other. She looks exhausted and like she hasn't slept in a while, and she still looks like she's angry, but she's also just drained. “We have to talk about what happened…” You finally say.

She nods and finally gets to break the silence. She knows that neither of you can avoid addressing the whole thing that happened. She looks like she's trying to hold her anger in, and she looks very tense and upset. “I'm sorry for what I have done.” She takes a deep breath and she looks at you. She looks like she's ready to explode but her voice comes out soft. "You don't need to apologize. Everything that happened between us is my fault because I was being stubborn and stupid. I really should have known better than to be so selfish..."

“Why did you lash out like that?” You ask softly. She pauses for a moment before she answers and you can tell that she's really thinking about how to say this gently. "Because I loved you and I felt like I was losing you and it triggered me and made me upset. I just reacted that way and I'm so sorry for hurting you and I'm so sorry for what I did to you and I'm just…” She can't finish because she starts crying and she can't hold it in anymore. She starts crying and it's the first time you've ever seen her cry like this. She starts bawling her eyes out and it breaks your heart because you've never seen this side of her before. She just sits there crying for a few moments and finally, she leans over and she hugs you tightly. You can tell she's really holding all of these emotions in and she just lets herself cry against you.

You hold her back feeling sad as well. She holds onto you tightly just breaking down into tears and she buries her face into your chest. She's just crying hard, shaking a bit and it seems like she can't stop or calm down. She just holds you tightly and you can just feel her tears and her breath on you. As you hold her tightly you can feel your tears start to form as well. You just feel so much sadness and pain for both of you and you just want to stay like this for a while. She's still crying against you and you can feel her tears dripping on your chest. You just want to be there for her and you want to help her to feel better. Her crying gradually calms down after a few minutes. She's not sobbing anymore and she just sits there against you. She just leans her head on your shoulder and she's still just shaking a bit, but she's starting to feel a little bit better. She still feels sad and she's still tired from everything, but she's started to calm down a little bit. Her breathing has slowed down and she's starting to feel a little bit relaxed now.

“As you can imagine, i... I don't even know how to say it....” She can read from your tone of voice and your facial expression that you don't even know how to say it, so she tries to comfort you and she rubs your back with her hand. "Hey, it's okay. You don't need to say anything. Just take your time. We can talk about this but don't worry, there's no rush. We have all the time in the world. Just… just take your time."

“I can't be with you anymore, at least for now...” You look down, not being able to look at her. Abby sighs and she slowly pulls away from you as she hears what you're saying. She looks at you solemnly and she nods her head yes, as if she knew that this was coming. She doesn't ask you why or try to convince you to stay, she just listens quietly.

“You understand why, right?” Abby nods her head. She understands why you feel this way and she doesn't try to convince you one way or the other. She just listens quietly and she doesn't try to fight with you for you back or tell you why she thinks this won't work. She's letting you say what you need to say and she's listening. She just nods her head and she says "Yes, I understand."

You hold her hand for a bit. Abby lets you hold her hand as she listens to you. She looks at you with sad eyes and she lets you hold her hand tightly, she doesn't try to pull away. She just holds it and she doesn't try to fight you or convince you to stay in her life for now, she just wants to listen and she just wants to hear whatever it is that you need to say.

“I love you very much but this isn't working.” You say sadly. Abby finally speaks up and she nods her head. "I know and I completely understand. You have a good reason for feeling this way and I appreciate that you're being so open and honest with me. I don't want you to worry about me because I'll be okay. I just want you to be able to feel comfortable and safe and happy and if that means you need some space and time away from me for now, then I respect you for that. I want you to feel safe and respected here and I respect your decision.”

“Thank you.” She nods her head and she smiles at you softly. "You're welcome. I know this is a difficult situation for both of us, but I know that we still care about each other and we're both just trying to handle things in our own ways. I respect you and I want you to look after yourself and take care of yourself. Just please take as much time as you need and I'll be here whenever you need me." You smile sadly at her as you hold her hand tightly. She looks at you and her face is still sad, but at least she's not crying anymore, and she's not as angry as she was before. She's still a little bit upset, but she's also starting to feel a bit more at ease. She smiles back at you and she holds your hand tightly as well. She just wants to be there for you, even if she knows that this is hard for both of you to go through.

“I'm going to get the last of my things and go now, I'm sorry.” She nods her head. "It's okay. I understand that you need to get the rest of your things and that's fine. I am sorry that things ended this way but I know that you have to do what's best for you, and so do I. I just want you to be happy and if that means you need to go, then I won't stop you, I understand. I'm sorry too." You go to the bedroom and you gather up all of your remaining things and you come back into the living room to say goodbye. She's still sitting there and she looks at you, she's holding back her tears.

"I just want to say goodbye, and I'm really sorry that things didn't work out for us, but I understand why we're breaking up. You're really special and I know that you're going to do great things with your life, and if you ever need me for anything, just don't hesitate to reach out." You hug her one last time. Abby just hugs you tightly as you two hug each other for the last time. She doesn't say anything to you, she's just holding onto you and she's just letting it all fade out. She doesn't want to cling to you and she doesn't want to try to hold onto what you had, she's just letting you go and letting you go forward with your life. Finally she pulls away from you and she nods her head and says "Goodbye..."

“Goodbye Abby.” You say as you leave her house. Abby doesn't respond or say anything else to you as you walk out of her place. She just sits there alone in her living room and she sits there quietly with her thoughts and her emotions as she just takes in this moment. She's still holding back her tears a little bit but she is letting you go and she is just letting the moment pass her.

You go back to your own place and you're finally back in your own space after a long time. You're feeling sad and you're feeling lonely because you're alone now. You're in your own place without Abby and it feels weird and unfamiliar. You're alone with your thoughts and your feelings and they're all just starting to hit you. You feel sad and you feel lonely. You feel like there's an empty place inside you where Abby used to be. You go into your room and you slowly start to put your things away. Your room is empty and it just feels so strange not having Abby here with you anymore. You feel a mixture of emotions as you start to put your stuff away. It's still weird that Abby isn't here and you just start to sink into your emotions and your feelings and a few tears start to fall while you're putting your stuff away. You lay in your bed and you just let it all out. You just let all of your feelings and emotions out and you let yourself feel sad and angry and frustrated and exhausted and overwhelmed and it all just comes spilling out. You lay in bed and you don't hold back and your face is wet with tears and it doesn't feel like you're going to stop crying anytime soon. You fall asleep in your own bed, it's been awhile since you've slept alone and it just feels so different. It feels uncomfortable and it's not like you're used to, it feels cold and lonely and like something is missing. You're just so used to having Abby next to you all the time that you just feel so different just lying here alone by yourself. It just doesn't feel right not having that someone else next to you anymore.

You wake up the next morning and your phone buzzes with a text message. You check it and it's a message from Ellie and it says "Hey, are you okay?""

“hi, i’m okay, just needed some time alone, are you okay?”

Ellie replies back, saying, "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just wondering how you were. I figured that it was tough for you yesterday with Abby and I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

“Is your body feeling better?” Ellie texts back. "Yeah, my body's feeling a little bit better. I still have a headache but I'm feeling better than yesterday."

“Do you need me to come over and help you with anything?” Ellie replies back quickly. "No, I think I'm okay, I'm just trying to take it easy on myself and rest up. I think I'll be okay but I appreciate that you care enough to ask."

“If you need anything, I'm only one call away.” Ellie sends you another message, saying,  "Thanks. I appreciate that. I'll be okay, I just need some space and time to myself too."

You put your phone down and go take a long shower to try and relax. It feels good to just wash away the stress and anxiety of the day before. You let the hot water wash over you and you try to just relax and take it easy. It feels good to just relax and try to think about something else besides Abby for right now.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You are back to your classes and it's been a few weeks since the breakup with Abby happened. You've been taking some time to yourself and you've been going through the motions. But it's good to get back to something that feels familiar and normal, like going back to class. You just want to try to focus and get your head into the work ahead of you. You feel like people are still looking at you and judging you because of what happened at the party. They don't fully know what happened, but you can feel them talking and judging you behind your back. Maybe you're just being paranoid, but you just feel like everyone is talking about you and making assumptions about what happened with Abby. It feels like a lot of pressure and a lot of eyes on you right now.

You notice that Ellie has started going back to classes again too. She's been a little bit scarce around you since the day you left her house, but now she's starting to come back into your life again as class starts. That feels good too because you miss her and you're glad to see that she's not completely avoiding you anymore. You notice a bump on her eyebrow and her face is still a little bit bruised up, but otherwise she looks pretty good and like her usual self. She's still the same old Ellie that you know and love. She just seems a little bit more withdrawn and distant than she usually is.

You realize that after the party and the breakup with Abby and after everything that happened afterwards, you haven't really talked to either one of them for a while. It's been a weird few weeks and everything hasn't really felt the same. You're still going through the motions and you're still getting your classes done, but it just doesn't feel right anymore. It's like you're missing something important in your life and it just feels weird and wrong.

You get back to your place at the end of the day and you see that Dina is there. Dina doesn't know everything that's happened but she's been very supportive and helpful through it all. She's just hanging out at the kitchen table and she seems relaxed and calm. She notices you and she speaks up. "You're back late today. Are you doing alright?"

“Hi Dina, I'm fine, how was your day?” Dina smiles at you. "My day was alright, I was busy with my courses and just working on some stuff. But I saw the headlines about the party at that frat house last month. Were you there? I heard someone got really beaten up and ended up in the hospital. Is that all true?"

“Yeah, Ellie... Abby beat her up.” Dina raises an eyebrow. "Abby did what?! What the heck was happening? What was going on between you two? Did something happen at the party?"

“She got jealous and they started fighting.” Dina's eyes widened and she said, "She got jealous and they just started fighting? What in the heck was she so jealous about? Was she jealous because she saw you talking with someone else?"

“Abby was always very possessive and when she saw Ellie near me she lashed out.” Dina nods her head. "Abby was always very possessive, that part doesn't really surprise me. But she actually ended up getting into a physical fight with Ellie over you? That's just crazy!"

“Yeah, I haven't talked to either of them for a while.” Dina looks surprised. "So you haven't talked to them? Are they both okay? I mean I know Ellie got pretty hurt at the party… but is she okay now?"

“I was there with her, I helped her through the first week, you know, when I was not here.” Dina nods her head. "Oh, yeah. How is she doing now though? Is she gonna be okay from the beating?"

“I think she's better.”

Dina shakes her head and she says, "Good, I'm glad she'll be alright. I was a bit worried when I saw that she made it to the hospital. She's always been a little bit frail and thin so I'm just glad she's okay now."

“Yeah, I just feel so empty now, I feel like I lost them both.” Dina looks at you worried. "You lost them both? What do you mean? You mean you've lost Abby and Ellie because of this whole thing that happened at the party?"

“Yeah…” Dina looks pretty surprised and sad.  "You haven't talked to either one of them since the party? Have they tried reaching out to you?"

“Me and Abby broke up but since I came back home I haven't talked to either of them.” Dina nods her head. "I mean, I kinda gathered that because it's been a while now that the party happened. Have you thought about reaching out to Abby or Ellie since you came home? I know they want to talk to you, they both sent me some messages asking about you and wanting to know if you're okay. Abby really misses you and she can't even stop talking about you to me."

“Really?” You were a bit surprised that Dina would know that. Dina nods her head. "Yes, Abby really misses you and she's been in a pretty terrible state since you guys broke up. She's still been checking your social media and she can't stop talking about you. She's just been so sad.” Dina was on the same course as Abby and had many classes with her. And because Abby knew Dina was your roommate she talked to her.

“I haven't seen her since, has she been going to class?” Dina shakes her head. "No, she's been skipping some classes and she's been coming to me to just talk and to vent some of her frustrations. It hasn't been easy for her since the breakup and she doesn't know what to do. She just wants to talk to you and she wants to sort things out.”

“I'm still very confused, I don't know what to do.” Dina looks up at you with a sympathetic smile. "I get that you're confused and it's normal to feel that way. There's been a lot of stuff that's changed and happened all at once and it happened so fast that your head isn't really clear and you're still trying to process everything. I think you should at least talk to them, especially Abby since she's been so devastated since the breakup and she just wants to talk to you and make things work again.”

“Yeah, I need to talk to them…” You say in a quiet voice. Dina looks at you a bit sad. "Abby really wants to talk to you and I think you should at least give her a chance to explain herself. She really loves you and she's willing to do anything to make things work. She just wants the chance to talk to you and explain herself and I think that would be good for you as well."

Dina invites you to join her to go out to get a coffee since it's Friday. She knows that a change of scene would be good for you and it could be a good way to take your mind off things and to relax for a little bit, away from the pressures of school and from all the things that have happened recently with Abby and Ellie. You agree to go. Dina smiles at you. "Good, let's go! It will be good to get you out and out of your head. You've been going through a lot and we need to take your mind off of it. Let's go out and get a nice coffee and just talk and have fun!"

“Is anyone else coming?” You didn't really want to have to deal with anyone else. Dina shakes her head. "Nope, it's just gonna be you and me. It's just gonna be a relaxing girl's afternoon and we're just going to get out and enjoy the day together. No one else is coming, it's just gonna be us two and that's it."

“Sounds perfect, let's go.” You smile as you put on your coat. Dina grabs her coat and her keys. "Let's go then! It's gonna be fun and it should be a nice day outside, so it's gonna be the perfect afternoon!"

You sit at the cafe outside in the sun. Dina gets herself a latte and you get a cappuccino. "I'm glad that you decided to come out today. It's nice to see you getting out of the house and out of your head for a bit. Sometimes that's all you need, some time away from the craziness of everything and to just relax and enjoy the day.”

“Thank you, it is really nice to relax for a bit.” You feel a bit better now. The day is beautiful and you really needed to distract yourself.

Dina smiles back at you. "No problem. I'm glad it's helping. You've been going through a lot lately and I know it's been hard. You deserve this break and it's definitely long overdue and needed. Just sit back and relax and let yourself just enjoy the day. You're not alone, you know that, and you can always talk to me if you ever need to. I'm always here for you."

“Thanks Dinns.” You smile at her as you take a sip of your cappuccino. Dina smiles back and she also takes a sip of her latte, and then she asks you a question. "How have you been handling everything that's happened lately? I know it hasn't been easy and I just want to check on you and see how you're really doing."

“I've been trying to keep busy with class and not think too much about it.” You reply, not wanting to talk too much.

"That's good that you've been keeping yourself busy with class and trying not to think too much about everything that's going on. But it's alright if you let yourself think about things a little bit. It's normal to be confused or have mixed feelings about everything that's happening and it's okay if you want to talk about it or vent to me a little bit. Just don't keep it all bottled up inside, okay?"

“Yeah, if I need anything I'll let you know.” You give her a soft smile. Dina smiles at you too. "Good. That's good to hear. And I just want you to know that I'm here for you always and you can come to me about anything at all. We're best friends and we're gonna get through this together, okay? Just take care of yourself." She says with a smile.

A few days later you're walking down campus when you see Abby and you notice that she doesn't see you. You could choose to go up and say hi to her, or just leave her alone and continue walking past her. You haven't seen her in a while and you're not too sure if you should go up to her or not, especially since the breakup. You decide not to go up to Abby and you continue walking to class. You could try talking to her later on, but you're still not really sure if that's the best idea. Maybe that's something you could chat to Dina about and get her opinion on what you should do.

As you get to class you notice that Ellie is sitting in the back of the classroom, by herself. She's just sitting there and she looks like she's just waiting for the lesson to start. She hasn't seen you yet and she's just looking down at her textbook just trying to occupy herself. You notice that her face looks a bit better, that's a good thing. She looks more like herself and she doesn't look as upset as she was the last time you saw her. She's still sitting there by herself though and she hasn't noticed you yet, but she seems okay and you feel better seeing her like this.

You sit down and you both just kinda sit there, just waiting for the class to start. You haven't talked to her since the day you went to Abby's place and it feels kind of weird now. You don't really know how you would approach her or how she'll react if you try talking to her again. She seems to be doing fine here, so why bother her now? You just sit there, waiting for the class to start. Ellie looks up when the teacher starts talking and she sees you sitting there, but you don't notice her. She's probably waiting for you to look back at her, so she can probably see if you notice her or not. She probably wants to know if you saw her and if you would try to talk.

When the class ends and you get up to leave, you see Ellie looking at you. She's just staring at you and you can tell she's waiting for you to look up at her. She wants to speak to you but she's waiting for you to make the first move. You both walk out of the classroom and as you walk past each other you say a simple "hi" to her. She responds back with a quick "hi" back as well. Neither of you say anything else, but she's still definitely waiting for you to ask her how she's been or something like that. She wants to talk to you and she's still hoping that you would talk to her. “How have you been?” You ask, feeling a bit awkward.

Ellie responds with a quick, "I've been alright I guess." when you ask her how she's been. She still seems a bit distant and she's not really open about how she's been feeling, but she seems to be doing at least a little bit better. She also seems like she's still waiting for you to say more or ask her something else to continue the conversation. “I'm glad.” You give her a small smile. Ellie nods her head and she does smile back a little bit at you. She also seems to be slowly warming up to you and she actually does seem like she's doing a bit better. It's good to see her like this, but you can definitely tell that she's holding back from letting it all out with you. She wants to be open but she's not there yet. “I have to go to my next class, talk later?” Ellie nods. "Yeah, for sure. Talk to you later." She seems a little bit more relaxed and she's definitely warming back up to you. The small conversation seemed to improve her a fair bit and she's definitely feeling a bit better.

You walk away from the conversation with Ellie and you go to sit down in your next class. It's nice to see her opening up again and it seems like things are looking at least a bit better between you both. You hope this continues and that you two can get back to a good place again. As you're sitting in class and taking notes, you notice Abby entering the room. She doesn't notice you yet, so you choose to just keep studying and not say anything to her for now. Abby sits down at an empty desk and she doesn't notice you sitting there. She's busy looking at the teacher and waiting for him to start talking, but she's not looking directly in your direction. 

Abby looks up from her desk at the end of class when she sees you packing up your stuff and putting it in your bag. She doesn't say anything, but she's looking at you and you know that she wants to talk to you. She wants to at least try and have a conversation again. You see her staring as you stand up. You've looked at her for a few seconds and she hasn't stopped looking at you either yet. She's just staring straight at you, looking for you to at least say something and strike up a conversation. As you both walk out of the class, Abby says a simple "hi" to you. She says it very casually and it doesn't sound awkward or anything. She just wants to strike up a normal conversation with you and talk to you normally, like two regular friends would.

“Hey..” You say quietly. "Long time no see. How have you been?" She's trying to go back to normal conversation with you and she's trying to act all chill and relaxed, despite all the things that have happened lately. “I've been okay, how about you?” Abby nods her head and she says, "I've been alright, I guess. It's been a hard couple of days, but I'm doing better now. I'm just glad to see you and I'm glad you're doing alright at least." She's trying to get past everything that happened between you both and just trying to be normal with you again.

As you two are talking and walking out of the building together, you start walking to the campus courtyard. You walk side-by-side and Abby seems to be a little bit nervous but she's definitely trying. She's trying not to bring up any of the things that happened between you two or to discuss any of the arguments or fights that took place. “I've noticed you've been skipping classes…” Abby seems to pause for a moment and she looks away. She doesn't respond right away and it looks like she's maybe feeling a bit called out by what you said. She doesn't really say much, she just glances at you and she looks down for a bit.

“Are you sure you're okay?” You ask her. Abby hesitates for a moment. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm fine. I was just taking some time to myself to process everything that's happened lately." She seems like she's trying to be more relaxed and normal and to just try and move past everything, but you can tell she's still feeling a bit tense and uncomfortable about everything.

You nod and look forward. Abby seems a little bit relieved that you didn't push the subject anymore and she does the same thing, just looking forward as she walks next to you. You both walk on in a little bit of silence, but you both seem like you're trying to feel normal and just move on from everything. There seems to be a bit of awkwardness here between you both. “I have to get home, see you around Abby.” You wave her goodbye. "Yeah, see you around." She seems a little bit relieved to part ways and she can get back to being alone and in her own space again. She's just trying to get back to normal and to continue on with her life without all the extra drama between you both. She wants to keep distance between you both for now and try to keep her emotions in check. But she still misses you.

You get back home and you flop down on your bed and you just lay there for a second, just contemplating everything that's happened lately. You have a lot on your plate and there's just so much to think about and process. You're just wondering what the future holds and what you should do next.

Part 2? Let me know! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you!

[buckys-wintersoldier]

His name, his property | Steve Kemp

// Pairing //

-> Dark!Steve Kemp x Female!Reader

// Summary //

-> After letting you out of the basement Steve makes sure that you and everyone else knows who you belong to. His name written on your skin is a good option, isn't it?

// Wordcount //

-> 4.085 Words

// Warnings // Explicit Content

-> 18+, Minors DNI, dark content, kidnapping, hint of stalking, non-con tattoo, mention of cannibalism, Stockholm syndrome, non-con kissing, choking, finger sucking, masturbation, handjob, mention of oral (fem!receiving) and unprotected p in v

// Request //

-> I’ve really been craving a marking kink piece lately and I love your writing. Can you write a Steve kemp smut where he kidnaps the reader and wants to claim her as his so he tattoos his name on her lower back (tramp stamp) and when he sees the finished product he can’t help but cum all over her face

// Authors Note //

-> First of all thank you for the request and the feedback. Hope you like the request and it’s what you thought about.

-> I want to thank @bucks-babe for encouraging me and the comments, proofreading.🩷🩷

// Events //

-> Fandom-Free Bingo: Book Night Edition | G3 | “BEG for it!” | @fandom-free-bingo

// Masterlist | Steve Kemp Masterlist //

You don’t know what happened last night, the only thing you can remember is the party you were at last night. Usually you don’t drink much, so you really wonder why you can’t remember how you came to this place and got undressed. The warm blanket covering your body stops the cold from the room to surround you and you sigh softly, frowning when you turn your head to find out where you are. Maybe you hooked up with one of these guys at the party? But why is the room so cold and dark, and where is whoever you hooked up with?

The creaking sound of the door lets your gaze wander, and a moment later you have to shut your eyes. A bright light is shining into the dark room, and a big, broad man walks into the room. He closes the door and turns on the light, letting himself fall down on a chair opposite you.

“Glad you’re finally awake; I thought you would sleep a day more. Maybe I gave you a bit too many drugs; aren't you used to them, huh?” The man chuckles darkly, and you don't feel comfortable anymore. You open your eyes slowly to get used to the light before you turn your head to face him, and your jaw drops. “Looks like you remember me, love?”

You nod your head, closing your mouth, and try to sit up when you feel something around your arm. Your gaze immediately shoots to the chains that are around your arm, and you gasp. “W—Please let me go. I can give you money; do you want money?”

“Babe, does that basement look like I need money? You have your very own toilet and look at the beautiful sunrise, or do you want to call it a sunset? However, doesn’t it look pretty?” He asks, smirking at you, and you shake your head. Panic is growing in your body, and you inhale deeply, covering your face with your hands before you look back at the man.

“C—Can you please take these handcuffs off and we can talk?” You ask, and you breathe, shaking while you feel tears building up in your eyes.

“We can talk, but I won't take them off. Maybe when you're good, are you good?” The man smirks at you; his legs are spread, and he leans forward, placing his forearms on top of his thighs while he stares at you with such an intense gaze.

“What do you want then? Can you please let me go?” With every passing second, your breathing gets heavier, and your body starts to tremble. You definitely haven't planned to go to a party and be drugged to get kidnapped by such a psycho guy.

“I'm gonna tell you, but you will freak out. Just please don't freak out, oke?” The brown-haired man says with a nice smirk, and you’re not sure if you should be even more scared or less now, but something inside of you is enough to just scream and run — even though that isn't working with handcuffs around your wrist. "Remember, I told you I'm a doctor-”

And suddenly, you remember what happened in the evening. This nice guy, Steve, sat next to you at the bar, asking you if you wanted a drink as well. Since you two had a lot of fun then — laughing and talking about everything and nothing — he asked you to come with him to a more private corner of the bar. When you agreed, you had another drink, and then everything was dizzy. The next thing you can remember is waking up in the dark room — obviously his basement.

“Usually I would sell your meat; it brings a lot of money, and it is delicious— Calm down, love, I said usually. But I love you, babe,” he says, grinning while he gets up from the chair. His hands slide down his sweater, and he takes a step closer. “So when you do what I say, we are going to have a family, and I will give you my kids. Oh, they will be wonderful, won’t they? And we will be happy. When you don’t do what I say, I’m gonna punish you.”

“You’re fucking insane! I don’t want to have your kids, and I won't do what you want!” You shoot, crawling backwards, when he takes another step forward. “Stay there! Steve, please! Stay where you are! Don’t dare to step closer— please. Steve, please don’t come closer!” You say it through gritted teeth, but he only chuckles at your attempt to crawl away until you crash against the wall behind you.

Steve gets on his knees when he is just a few inches away from you. You already plan how to bite or kick him when he is taking another step closer, but he stays where he is and just looks at you with a soft smile.

“Listen, I’m the one who is in charge, so you better accept it. Like I said, when you don’t do what I say, I’m gonna punish you. Do you want me to punish you, babe? Sore, red ass, huh?” Even though he kind of scares you, when he reaches out to brush a strand of hair out of your face, you feel like there is no fear left in your body.

“I will cut off your dick or—" You get interrupted when your head flies to the side and your cheek burns. Steve just grasps your chin, stopping you from turning your face away while tears form in your eyes and fall slowly down your cheeks. His smile is so soft, and his beautiful blue eyes show nothing but comfort, but he just hit you. Your feelings go crazy, and the way he looks at you and the way his soft fingers hold your chin don’t help with your feelings.

You sob quietly, while he captures your cheeks with both of his hands and wipes your tears softly with his thumbs away. “It’s oke, babe. I love you, and you will love me too,” he mumbles, leaning closer to kiss your forehead before he pulls away and looks deep into your eyes.

“Steve—“ you get interrupted once again when he pushes his thumb into your mouth, pushing your tongue down. You gag around his thumb, and it causes more tears to fall down your cheeks. He then pulls his thumb out of your mouth and smirks.

“Shut your mouth unless you beg for my cock or want to tell me that you love me, love,” he says, leaning forward, and this time he captures your lips with his. They are so soft and warm, and he moves them so perfectly against yours that you just want to give in, leaning more into his touch. Steve will get what he wants, even when it takes a bit to tell you that you love him, but you will be his beautiful, cute wife.

He pulls his thumb out of your mouth, smirking when you immediately close your mouth and crawl further back. You whimper, leaning your back against the wall and looking down at your hands. With your fingers, you play with the handcuffs, moving them around your wrist. Steve looks at you the whole time, smiling softly before he gets up.

“Will you always keep me in the basement?” You ask shyly, not looking at him. A low chuckle leaves his lips. Steve turns around and looks at you once again.

“When you tell me you’re good, I will take you upstairs. Are you good?” His voice sounds soft, and when you look up, you see nothing but comfort in his eyes. Steve’s hands are in his pants pockets while he waits for you to answer. You nod, flicking when his eyes darken, and he looks suddenly at you with an angry expression. “Use your words, love.”

“Sorry,” you mumble, wanting to look back down on your hands, but his intense blue eyes hold yours. You just can’t look away; even though he just looked angry, when his gaze softens, you feel a comfortable warmth rushing through your body. “I’ll be good.”

He grins, walking closer to you and getting down on his knees once again. Steve’s blue eyes brighten when you hold your hands up for him to open the handcuffs. He then gets up and holds his hand out for you to place your smaller one in his big one. When you do so, you smile slightly; his hand is so warm and soft.

“Let’s get upstairs and get some food into your belly, huh?” You nod your head, getting up as well. Your legs feel like jelly, and Steve has to catch you so you won’t fall forward. He immediately wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you tight against him, and you can feel his broad chest against your back. You sigh softly until you feel something poking into your lower back, gasping when he thrusts his hips slowly forward to press his growing bulge more against you.

“S—Sorry,” you mumble, not wanting to make the situation awkward, but Steve doesn’t look ashamed at all. He grinds his bulge against you while his grip on your hips tightens. Steve’s fingers dig into your soft skin, and you moan quietly, your cunt dripping when his cock slides up and down your lower back and your ass. He leans down, his lips grazing over your skin. Steve kisses and sucks at your skin before he lets go and takes your hand to lead you upstairs.

Steve made lunch for the two of you; his eyes were roaming the whole time over your face, and he smirked when you ate the food with a satisfied smile on your face. “You’re pretty when you smile. Know why I feel for you,” he said, causing you to look up at him and blush slightly.

His tongue slid out and across his lips while his eyes suddenly darkened, and he groaned with a huge smirk on his plump lips. “Should make you mine, but first finish lunch, babe.”

Not long after you are placed on your belly on the bed, Steve doesn’t allow you to turn around, and afraid of punishment, you listen to him and just lay there while you listen to him walk through the room.

“Are you gonna be good, babe? Or do I need to handcuff you?” He asks; you can hear him smirking, and your stomach feels like it’s turning around. You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. Maybe he just wants to joke around or something.

“I—I will be good,” you mumble, placing your hands underneath your head so he can’t reach them immediately.

Steve chuckles darkly before he makes his way to the bed. His footsteps are heavy, and your body starts to tremble when his hand slides along your leg, causing goosebumps on your skin. “Gonna show everyone that you belong to me, babe.”

Steve places whatever he has in his hands next to you on the bed and lets himself fall down next to you on the mattress.

“What are you doing?” You ask, turning your head slightly, but Steve is fast and snaps his hand forward, pressing it on the back of your head to turn your head back, pressing it down on the mattress.

“Told you, gonna show everyone that you belong to me,” he says again before he moves and sits on your thighs, causing you to groan. “I’m not that heavy, love.”

You squirm a bit while Steve grasps the hem of your shirt and pushes it up. He reveals your back, his fingers grazing slightly over your skin. “Steve, please—"

“Shut your mouth!” His voice sounds harsh, and you immediately obey, closing your eyes and trying to think of something better than Steve sitting on your thighs.

A cold liquid drops on your warm skin, and you yelp, trying to turn your head around once again, but he still pushes your face into the mattress, so you’re not able to see whatever he is doing right now. He then waves the liquid away, and you’re really not sure what he is doing there.

“Could hurt a bit but will be fine.” Steve mumbles, and your eyes widen. His hand on the back of your hand lets go of you, but you don’t dare turn your head. You inhale deeply; your breath is shaking, especially when you hear him turning on a machine.

He brings it closer to your back, and before you can say something or move away, you feel a sharp pain in your back. You scream and gasp, your skin burns, but he brings the machine over and over again to your skin. “Steve, please. That hurts; don’t do that, please.”

For a brief moment, you just want to turn around and try to get him off of you, but since he sat down on your thighs, you’re kind of frozen, and now, with him making a tattoo on your back, even more.

Tears are building up in your eyes, rolling down your cheeks, and causing a wet spot on the sheets underneath you. Quiet sobs leave your lips while Steve holds you in place and continues with the tattoo. A smirk crosses his lips when the first letter is written down on your lower back. He groans, his dick growing in his pants, when he makes the next letter.

“Gonna cum in my pants when you have my name written on your back, fucking gorgerous,” he moans, thrusting his hips forward for you to feel his bulge pressing against your ass. “Or maybe I jerk off and come all over your face, or your tattoo, fuck, I can’t decide it’s all so hot. My dick is so hard, and my balls are so fucking heavy, filled with so much cum, and I will pump you full with it at some point.”

“Steve, please,” you try, but a sob interrupts you, and Steve just ignores you, continuing to finish the tattoo on your lower back. He groans every now and then, his tongue wetting his lips while his hand is pressing down on your back, and you feel his hips rutting against yours every now and then.

You don’t know how much time passes until he finally turns off the machine. Tears are still falling down your cheeks, but unless you get a few sniffles, you’re quiet. You thought Steve could be soft, and he can, but right now you just feel scared and hurt. Steve places the machine and color to the side and wipes a cold washcloth over your lower back, causing you to flinch.

“Do you want a nice bath with me or do you want to watch a movie? He asks, leaning down to kiss your neck softly. Steve’s lips are so warm and soft against your neck that you want to sigh, but the burning pain in your lower back makes you wiggle to try and move away from him.

“You’re fucking insane! I don’t want a bath with you!” You say it with a shaking voice while he sighs. He then lets go of you and lets you crawl from the bed, pushing your shirt down before you look for the nearest corner.

He looks at you when you sit with your back pressed against the wall, your legs pulled up, and against your chest while you rest your head on your knees and stare at the wall.

“Babe, come here. I’m sorry, oke. But seeing you so often go out with your friends makes me go crazy. And when someone comes over here, they can see that you’re mine. I love you, babe,” he says, his voice soft.

You turn a bit to face him; his steel blue eyes look so soft, and his lips are curled up into the sweetest smile. “How about I make it up to you?”

You narrow; what does he understand when he says he is making it up to you? You shake your head; he just made you a tattoo with his name. But with his question, the anger inside of you grows, and the pain on your skin turns into anger too. With a clenched jaw, you let a small chuckle escape your lips. “Wanna make it up to me?”

He nods his head, getting up from the bed and walking a few steps closer. You immediately press yourself more into the corner. Steve sighs before he gets on his knees and reaches his hand out for you to grab or for him to touch you. “Yes, let me make you feel good.”

“Making me feel good — maybe with another tattoo? Or do you want to make it up, and I can make a tattoo on your fucking dick?” You ask with a low chuckle.

Steve’s jaw clenches, and he grasps your arm harshly, pulling you off the floor and back to the bed. “Can’t fucking appreciate it, can you? Just made you mine, or else someone else would have fucked you. Are you such a whore that you want someone else to fuck you?”

“I would prefer everyone in that city instead of letting you fuck me!” You shoot at him, trying to wiggle out of his tight grip, but he turns the two of you around and takes a seat on the bed while he pushes you onto the ground in front of him.

“Would you?” Steve’s voice is calm, and it causes you to shiver. His blue eyes are darkened; he grips your neck and squeezes lightly. You nod your head, trying to ignore the tight grip of his hand around your throat. “Then you can start to show me that you can be a good girl.”

“Thought you wanna make me feel good?” You ask, looking through your lashes and trying to grin. But his hand is squeezing even more, and you feel yourself panicking when he just doesn’t want to let go of your neck. “I’m sorry, p—please.”

“Good girl, beg Daddy to let go of your neck. Fuck— could look at you sitting between my legs all the time, begging for me. Sit still!” He demands, his fingers letting go of your neck, and he brings them to your cheek, his thumb slipping over your lips before he pushes his digit into your mouth. Steve groans before he removes his thumb.

Steve lets go of you and brings his hand to his belt, unbuckling it before his hand disappears in his pants. He is freeing his weeping cock. You whimper, your eyes widen when you see his huge length, the tip read, and pre-cum is leaking down his thick, veiny shaft. His hand is wrapped around his cock while he gives himself a few strokes, smirking at you.

“Like that, love? Knew you would love seeing me jerk off and come all over your face,” he says, grinning when you slowly move away from him. His free hand immediately snaps out to grasp your neck again, and he pulls you closer. “Sit still! Wanna give you all of my cum.”

His thumb moves over his tip, and he groans while bucked his hips forward, thrusting into his hand. You can’t move away; his grip is too tight around your neck, and you swallow harshly, trying to look at something else at least. Steve pushes your head even further toward his cock, grinning. His dick is the only thing you are able to look at unless you look up. Then you would look at his lower belly, covered with his shirt.

“Look at my cock when I come all over your face, babe,” he groans, his cock twitching in his hand. He pumps his length at a steady pace, his thumb brushing every now and then across his tip, and he smears his pre-cum all over his cock.

Even though you didn’t want to see it, you kind of like it. Steve's dick is beautiful, and you can’t help the growing wetness between your legs, soaking your panties slowly. “C—Can I do that?”

For a moment, he is narrowing his eyes and tilting his head to the side before he recognizes the way you press your thighs together. Steve loves that his action of jerking himself off in front of you has such an effect on you, and he lets you gladly help him with his hard cock. “You can wrap your hand around my length and pump it.”

You nod, lifting your hand, and wrap your fingers softly around them. The brown-haired man immediately groans loudly when your soft and warm hand is wrapped around him, moving up and down. Your eyes are focused on the leaking tip, and then you let them wander down his shaft. Using your fingertips to slide them along his vein before you wrap your fingers around his cock again.

Steve smirks at you. He looks at you for a while — addicted to your hand around his cock, your soft touches, and the way you clench your thighs to get some friction between your legs. He then looks behind you, and a big mirror shows your back and ass. Steve lifts your shirt and smirks; he can see his name written down over your ass.

A pornographic moan leaves his lips when he thrusts into your hand, almost hitting your face since he still holds you close to his dick. The sight of his name on your lower back and the steady movements of your hand around his cock bring him closer to his orgasm. His balls are heavy, and his dick twitches.

The man grasps your hand, removing it from his cock, and causes you to whine. “Don’t whine; you can get my cock. But I said I would come all over your face. You look so fucking gorgeous with my name on your back; you belong to me, babe.”

You whimper, staring at his cock while he thrusts into his hand. His eyes are focused on your back; Steve is going feral with that sight; his moans and groans get louder, and he is about to come, giving you his cum and painting your face white with it.

With a few more strokes and a loud groan, he comes all over your face, shooting his seeds all over it and smirks satisfied. He could come once again just from you having his cum across your face and looking through your lashes at him. Your tongue is sliding over your lips, licking the cum off of them, and a desperate moan is leaving your lips when you taste him.

“Yeah, like my cum, huh? Pump you full with it; you’re so sexy with my cum all over your face, making me go feral for you,” he groans, leaning down, pushing you away before he presses his lips for a passionate kiss against yours.

It’s rough, and he immediately asks for access when he glides his tongue over your lips, getting it when you part your lips and let him explore your mouth with his tongue. The tingling feeling in your lower stomach grows; your pussy is dripping.

“Let’s clean your face,” he says after pulling away from the kiss. His fingers swipe over your face, grazing his cum. Steve holds them in front of your mouth, waiting for you to twirl your tongue around them and clean his fingers. You moan softly, sucking on his digits, before he repeats his actions and lets you lick off his cum until your face is clean. “Good girl, deserving a reward for helping me to jerk off and eating all of my cum, huh?”

You immediately look up into his beautiful steel-blue eyes, nodding your head. Steve chuckles, letting go of your neck and getting off the bed, starting to strip. “Take off your clothes; I’m hungry, and I want a meal before I pump you full with my cum.” His voice sounds so rough and sexy that you obey, smirking while you do what he asks you for.

He may be a dick, but he is a hot dick, and you’re pretty sure he can help your tingling and dripping cunt perfectly. Maybe he isn’t that bad; he loves you, so you can learn to love him too, right? You definitely can, especially when you see those pretty blue eyes roaming over your naked body like he looks at his prey, ready to eat your pussy.

// Taglist //

@kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel

[dreamofbetterthings]

No Regrets Noah Sebastian x Reader

Prompt: "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

VIP: Noah Sebastian

Band: Ban Omens

Summary: There's no such thing as a "calm" Halloween night, especially when hidden feelings are involved.

Warnings: It's gonna be a little spicy, but not full-on smut. Still, this is 18+ due to descriptive language and some curse words scattered about, so minors, please DNI. 

A/N

Hello everybody! I'm sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth. I have an abundance of things going on in my personal life and I am trying my hardest to get through it all. I know in the last post I said chapter 3 of It's Been A Long, Long Time was coming soon. That wasn't a lie. It is still in the process of being edited. I'm working on a new uploading schedule for you guys, and a page redesign as well so if everything pans out the way I'm hoping, it will be put into effect starting next week. In the meantime, I have a couple of stories I'm planning on getting out before Chapter 3 gets released. This turned out a lot longer than I thought it was going to be, but I had an idea and ran with it. I've never written for Bad Omens before, so let me know what you think. Enjoy!

This is a fictional story about real-life people. Nothing that is mentioned in the story below represents who said individuals are, or how they act in real life.

Halloween night was always your favorite time to be around certain people, specifically the friends you called Motionless in White and Bad Omens. There was always something up their sleeve to turn the normal night into one that you weren't sure you wanted to remember in the morning. Luckily, tonight was the annual hangout at Chris' house this year, and you couldn't be more excited. Every year you all would get together at someone's house and pass out candy to the kids, then watch a couple of movies after the last stragglers came through. After that, came your favorite part of the night, Hide and Seek. It might seem childish, but watching a bunch of tipsy/drunk people try to stay quiet in a hiding spot was always hilarious.

 You were making another batch of popcorn when Chris walked into the kitchen. "Hey, we just put on The Lost Boys, just thought I'd let you know." You smile. "I'm not surprised. That's almost everybody's favorite." He laughs and grabs another bowl from the cabinet. "I know, that's why we put it on first, so nobody can complain about it later." The timer on the microwave went off signaling that the popcorn was finished, and you carefully took the bag out. You gave Chris the cooling-down bag and picked back up the one you set on the counter before he walked in. After emptying them and grabbing extra napkins, Chris brought the popcorn out to your friends who were talking through muffled and hushed whispers. Before you walked back into the room, he pulled you back for a second to whisper something in your ear. "I pulled the seeker for tonight. Unfortunately, it wasn't you. Maybe next year." You pout and then smile "Fuck, I'm never going to get picked." He laughs as you glanced around at everybody scattered in the room. 

Ryan sat with Justin on the loveseat. Folio was a drama queen and insisted he get his own seat. Nicholas, Vinny, and a few other of your friends, Florence, Nicole, Victoria, and Robert who were invited sat around the coffee table on the floor. Ricky, Jolly, and Noah were on the couch. Then, you and Chris got the two giant bean bags in the corner. The lights were changed to red and the TV just started the opening credits to The Lost Boys. You and Chris give the popcorn to Ricky and Nicholas respectively, everybody else having their own mostly full bowls, and grab your drinks before plopping back down on the bean bags. Folio rubs his hands together and smiles. "Now that our final two goofballs are here, who's ready to watch one of the best horror movies ever made?" Everybody gives some form of yes or a holler, and he immediately turns the volume up. As the movie plays, there is a small conversation here and there, and occasionally someone has to get up for a new drink, but you are relaxed and having fun. 

At about the halfway point of the movie, Noah gets up to get another drink from the fridge. On his way back, Jolly scares him, causing his wine to spill all over the floor and your sweatpants. "Jesus man!" The movie is paused and everyone's attention is on you guys. Jolly laughs and puts his hands up in defense. "Sorry dude, I had to scare you at least once today." He turns to look at you. "Didn't mean to ruin your sweatpants though, my bad." You wave him off. "It's no big deal, these were old anyway. You guys can keep the movie playing. I'm just gonna change into different pants real quick." You take a sip of your drink and get up from your spot to go upstairs. 

After finding your weekend bag, you huff as the extra sweatpants are nowhere to be found. Instead, you pull out a pair of spandex volleyball shorts and go to the bathroom. Noah hears the sink running upstairs as he's cleaning up the accidental mess he made by your spot. He throws the paper towels away and before he gets to the stairs, Chris quietly asks "You good?" He nods, telling the other singer he's going to make sure you're okay, and heads to your bathroom. He knocks a few times and after a couple of seconds, the sink cuts off and you open the door. You were expecting one of your girlfriends to be standing there, but instead, it's Noah. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm sorry about spilling on your sweats. I hope I didn't ruin them." Holding up the pants, you show him where the stain had previously been. "If these sweats can make it through one of your tours, they can certainly handle a little bit of wine. I just didn't want them to stain, since you drink the darker stuff." He chuckles and follows you back into the bedroom. 

You grab your shorts and get ready to put them on, but Noah points to your leg. "I didn't know you had a thigh tattoo." You glance at it and glance at him confused. "Really? I got it a while ago. I could've sworn I showed you when I got it done. Then again, I'm always in longer shorts, so it's not exactly easy to see." Setting them down, you turn to the side and pull part of your underwear band up, showing the last covered part of the tattoo. Looking up at Noah, you can see he's staring, but there's something else behind his eyes. Just not sure what it is though. You don't flinch when he reaches his hand out, but your skin gets goosebumps as his fingers ever so lightly trace over the ink on your leg. Everybody that came over tonight had seen each other in their undergarments or even completely nude before, whether by accident or on purpose. Hell, you've walked in on him changing plenty of times. 

So why did the room suddenly feel hot? 

It could be that you've had a crush on the man since you were kids. There wasn't anything not to like. His personality just made you want to be around him all the time. He's sweet and kind, and has a terrible sense of humor that only you two get. You could go on and on. He was just an all-around amazing person. You were so caught up in your thoughts, that you missed the hand that was snapping in front of your face. "Hello? Are you there?" Coming back to reality, you saw Noah looking down at you with curiosity. You quickly apologized and asked him to repeat what he said. "I said it looks amazing on you. The placement is perfect and it works great with the curves of your leg." You thank him and can't help but notice just how close he's standing to you. There's a tense silence for a couple of moments, and neither of you moves from your spot. You glanced at his eyes, then his lips, but immediately looked away. 

It felt like you were a school girl again, talking to the guy you've had a crush on for ages. You heard him mumble a "Fuck it" before he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. They were soft and tasted like wine, courtesy of the drink that led you here in the first place. You felt his hand move to rest against your cheek. His lips were gentle, almost as if he was savoring the moment, afraid it would never happen again. When the two of you finally pulled away for air, your eyes remained closed for a moment, before slowly opening them and meeting Noah's. The two of you looked at each other in pure awe before you let out a small "Woah" He laughed, and you looked down, feeling your cheeks become hot.

The thought of you being so flustered made him blush too. How was it possible for someone to be this cute? Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you almost couldn't comprehend what just happened. "You know, for someone that always complained he was a terrible kisser, that was uh, really impressive." He could feel you now completely relaxed against him and he laughed a little, slightly embarrassed. "I'd say that I've had practice, but you already know my teddy bear in fifth grade doesn't count." The two of you laugh. Remembering his hand resting on your cheek, you look away and take a small step back. "I think we should get back to the movie. It's gotta be almost over by now, and I don't want them to yell at us for taking too long." He let out an uncomfortable laugh and muttered a "Yeah." 

You never noticed but Noah frowned slightly when you pulled away from him. He felt so comfortable being that close to you. As you turned to the door he realized something. He really liked you and didn't want this to be just a one-time thing, especially if it was going to make things weird between you afterward. He picks himself out of his thoughts just as you open the door. He walks across the room, taking your hand and silently closing the door. Standing there surprised, you ask him, "Are you okay?" It was now or never he told himself. "I'm sorry, I just..." He takes a breath before continuing. "I really want to kiss you again." You stand there just as surprised but decide to see just how far this could possibly go. "What's the problem then?" He lets go of your hand and brings his own up to hold your face. Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers. 

"The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop." 

He obviously likes you, right? But this is your best friend. You've known each other for years. If he did like you this much, he would've told you by now, right? You two have been affectionate towards each other before, but there's a line neither of you dared to cross. If you crossed it now, you would rather do it with no regrets. It was better than wondering what could have been. "What if I don't want you to stop?" Noah tilts your head so you're looking him in the eyes. 

"Then I won't." 

He pushes his lips against you again, this time with newfound hunger. His hands fall and grab at your waist while yours go around his neck. Your feet follow his backward and you hit the edge of the bed. He pulls you down to sit on his lap, completely forgetting your lack of pants while he pushes himself further back on the bed. His tongue runs across your bottom lip and you open your mouth allowing him in. Your hands gently tug at the now-cut-short hair on the back of his neck and he grabs at your hip hard enough to leave bruises before pulling you even closer to him. Shifting your weight a little, your lower half sits directly on his hardening cock and he groans into your mouth. He pulls his lips away only for them to move down your neck. You tug at his hair a little harder and he sucks at the tender skin that connects your neck and shoulder. A moan leaves your lips and you mindlessly grind down against him. There was nothing that could prepare you for how right this felt. Like you were seeing a whole different side of him, hidden from the outside world, and for your eyes only.

Noah moved to whisper in your ear. "Quiet baby, wouldn't want everybody to hear us, hmm?" You shake your head no, but it doesn't matter as he kisses you again. "Hey, are you guys-OH MY GOD!" The bedroom door opens to see a shocked Chris looking at the two of you. Noah pulls away from your mouth, and the two of you look like deer in headlights. "I'm going to go... quickly." Chris walks away, before coming back and closing the door. You and Noah make eye contact for a split second, before the two of you look away, slightly embarrassed that you were caught. "Maybe we should go back before someone comes in again." He clears his throat and nods. "Yeah, that's a good idea." Carefully getting off of him, you stand up and let him off the bed. You both straighten out your respective clothes, and you finally put on those shorts. 

"Are you alright?" He nods and you get ready to walk toward the door. Noah runs his fingers through his hair. "Um, Before we go, I just wanted to ask...You don't regret any of what just happened, right?" You immediately shake your head no, slightly frowning. Maybe this was all a big mistake. "Not at all. Why? Do you?" He smiles and also shakes his head no before taking your hand in his. "Nope. No regrets." A smile replaces the frown on your face. You ask "Are you ready for them to never let us live this down?" He laughs and glances at the door. "That doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me." Giving him a nod, he opens the door and the two of you walk back into the living room where the rest of your friend group is talking amongst themselves. When they hear you guys walk in, it gets silent. Noah lets go of your hand so you can sit down first, and then goes to his spot on the couch. 

Nobody said anything for the first couple of moments before Chris broke the silence. "You guys fucked in my spare bedroom..." Instantly you and Noah sat up and shook your heads. Your voice and his overlapped and both of you tried to tell your friends that technically nothing happened. Once the two of you were finished explaining, the room was silent for another couple of moments before anyone spoke. The silence was starting to make you uncomfortable, but before you could say or do anything, Ryan threw his hands up and yelled. "Fucking finally!" This breaks the tension in the room and everybody starts laughing and giving you and Noah happy looks. You even saw a couple of people passing money around. Those fuckers bet on you and Noah getting together. When the commotion has died down, another movie has started, and everybody turns their attention to the TV. As you focus your attention on the screen, your phone buzzes, and you pick it up. 

Noah

"I was thinking later we could finish what we started in the spare bedroom?"

You smile at your phone and quickly respond before setting it down.

"Well, we're still playing Hide and Seek after the movie. I'm once again not the seeker, lol. If it happens to be you, don't go easy on me. Depending on how the rest of the night plays out, you might get your wish ;)"

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Noah readjust himself in his seat. He sends back a text almost instantly, and goosebumps litter your skin again as you read his last text.

Noah

"Oh, I won't. I like the hunt."

Nope, no regrets.

[swallowprettybird]

Simverse Magazine welcomes you 🎙️💌

Hello, everyone! I want to share with you an idea I have been working on for some time.

Some of you already know, some of you don't, but I'm coming to you with the intention of creating a kind of magazine about life in the sims - about life in the sims universe and your characters in it.

If you like to play gameplay, tell stories, or create art, or are interested in building, or make lookbooks, this is all about you!

More details below 👇

The magazine will be published in an electronic flipbook format at the end of each month.

To give you a better idea, I've highlighted a few sections:

Fancy look - all about fashion and style, about models and lookbooks. If you are a creator you can offer your cc, or if you like to make lookbooks you can make one for the magazine and I'll mentioned you!

You can also choose how the page with your lookbook will look like or I will do it for you)

examples

Frame code - something similar to the Fancy look, but in this case, cc does not matter - it is creativity and your characters or edits, or any visual experience that comes to the fore.

Maybe it's a portrait, or a rendering, or a game photo. Just send me a picture and I will publish it with you as the author.

examples

Life as it is - all about the life of your sims. If there are any events that happened in your game that you can tell us about, or if your original characters have their own hobbies or adventures, you can tell us about them! I think this can be done in the form of an article. But you can also share your suggestions and we will discuss them.

Time to talk - an interview format in which we will talk to your character and ask a few questions.

Chili pepper news - news about events in the community within the sim universe: challenges, quests, events, anything that unites more than one simmer and their sims. for example: bachelorette show!

It can also be significant events that relate to your game and your universe.

Sleepless town - it's all about rumors, about the game, about its lore and its locals. if you like to explore the game and know a few interesting things or play as the original inhabitants or make makeovers, then this is for you

Time machine - a section created specifically for past eras and simmers playing in decades. Includes all other sections in own way.

Focus - dedicated to real events and the movement associated with them. This is an opportunity to highlight interesting topics or tell about your culture in the form of a sims. Whether in the form of an article or a poster. example: pride month

Comfy space - everything about construction, interiors and lookbooks for build/buy objects.

This is the entire list for now. If you have any thoughts, questions, or suggestions, don't hesitate to ask me about it.

If you have something to share, or have questions or suggestions, please send me a direct message. You can also send a request to my inbox, but please don't hesitate, I'll be happy to see you!

Terms of Use

Please don't claim as your own. I realize that this is not an original idea to make a magazine about sims. But SIMVERSE is really something I work on with interest and love.

Previously @auroragoth has already published a similar magazine before, and we have the same idea of what it could look like.

Thank to her for supporting me! ❤️

DNI: racists, homofobs, terfs and other shit

Please, don't use perma paywalled cc. I want this to be available to every simmer.

[analog-kidd]

If Fire Emblem Had Tumblr Part 2

(part 1)

🪙annablr-staff ☑️

Introducing New Features!

Keep reading

🔪v-a-n-t-a-g-e Follow

WTF ARE THESE NEW FEATURES????

ARE YOU TRYING TO SCAM US????

😈fallenwyvern Follow

this is annablr ofc theyre gonna try and scam us

#smh new users bitching abt annablr are so annoying #yeah no shit its a scam

(946,199 notes)

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

Gods why are the men from Tellius so hot!?!

Like look

ugggggggggghhhhhhhlsslcdk;nakc king cainegusdisisudapdaso sooo hottttt 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

🦁the-real-king-of-beasts☑️ Follow

I'll take that as a complement haha

💜mlm-sewer-assassin Follow

(110,119 notes)

🐴cantocantocantocanter Follow

*Edit* I know on other continents archers can promote to other things but I was thinking about Ylisse, Elyos, and Magvel when making this poll

💘no-i-wont-shut-up Follow

in valentia and fodlan snipers promote into bow knights 😎

🏰armored-general Follow

CAN MOUNTED UNITS SHUT UP ABOUT BEING "THE BEST CLASS"!!!!

NO YOUR NOT!!!!

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Youre just jealous that we have a bigger movement range

🏰armored-general Follow

NO IM NOT!

and whats that mov gonna do when you get one rounded by a lvl 6 fighter cause your winged donkey falls apart by a light breeze

🪶lighterthanafeather Follow

Sorry! Can't hear you with that 4 mov!

#armors stop being slow challenge (impossible)

(1,109 notes)

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

Ugh,, can breidablik STOp summoning fredrick???

I already summoned like 7 of him today!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

what??????? who's breidablik??? why am I being summoned??? I am right here next to my lord in his castle, I'm confused???????

🔫tastemyfeglock Follow

GO AWAY!!! YOURE USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

🪨pickagodandprey Follow

Excuse me?? I don't even know you!

🪚sidecharater121 Follow

Hey look! A Fredrick that hasn't been summoned yet

(553 notes)

⚜️youngknightnight Follow

Sorry guys for being inactive for so long,,

I was having family issues,,

basically I'm a sword knight about to promote and I wanna be able to use bow upon promotion but my fucking parents keep insisting on axes but I don't wanna use axes!

They keep saying that "axes are sooooo much better than bows" "we encounter so many lance users, why don't you want that advantage?" or "bows only works at two range, why do you want to be defenseless at one range?" bro stfu let me live! I just wanna use bows OKAY?!

Sorry everyone its just been a lot.

#elitists dni #or I will cut you

(39 notes)

🌠thracianstar Follow

found this weird looking lance an enemy dropped while on my trip in Fodlan.

Gonna try an use it in the next battle!

🎏h-o-l-l-o-w-v-e-s-s-a-l Follow

uhhhh op? I don't recommend using that lance unless you have a crest but your post implies you're not from Fodlan soo uh

don't fucking use it if you wanna live

🐟fishphish Follow

op? op are you there? OP??

🦴️armorcrusher Follow

OP?!?!? OP!!!!!!!!!????? ANSWER US OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(437 notes)

🥩singingnmeat Follow

this is the best thing in the world on divine dragon

❤️️crimsonrider Follow

#this is something my wyvern would say if he could talk #anyways #back to hating on my brother

(391 notes)

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

I found this blueish-white wyvern near Crimea but it wouldn't let me ride it!

It started to thrash around, I had to stop when it started breathing fire

ik you just can't tame a wild wyvern without a lot of time, but the wyvern looked so pretty😭😭😭😭

💭dragon-ggilf Follow

WAIT WAS THAT YOU WHO TRIED TO RIDE ME?!?!?

YOU ALMOST RIPPED OUT ONE OF MY HORNS WHILE TRYING MOUNT ME!!!!

ASSHOLE!!!!

💚blueplusyellowunit Follow

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE NOT A WYVERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

(2,330 notes)

😉sranks Follow

I tried to use his lance but my rank was D

😉sranks Follow

easy website

(24,998 notes)

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

gonna use the devil axe,

wish me luck!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

I'm liking my odds!!

🏋️‍♂️chop-official Follow

cleic

(492 notes)

👺foxythings Follow

Swords are the worst weapon type in my kitsune opinion

🗡theawesomemerc Follow

kys

#you dont even use weapons wtf #how tf should you know

(97 notes)

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆.

DAY ONE OF HAUNTED HOEDOWN

prompt: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."

pairing: stepbrother!frankie x santi's gf!reader

genre: explicit smut, minors dni

summary: you were seventeen when Frankie became your stepbrother, but no matter the title, he never felt like a brother to you, going off to college right after your father remarried. But no matter the circumstances, he was still off limits. Years pass and when he returns from the army your relationship with him is even more strained. You end up settling for the second best thing instead, his best friend. Everything seems to be going fine until Frankie stays over and Santi needs to leave for work.

word count: 5k

warnings: infidelity (reader cheats on santi), stepcest, possesive!frankie, y'all this fic isn't morally okay at all but it's not exactly "dark" it's just really messed up so read with caution, breeding kink, dirty talking, fingering, mild degradation kink, male masturbation, piv, oral sex, spitting, pillow humping, size kink, poor santi didn't deserve this, size kink, cuckolding kink???? (santi isn't there but frankie gets really turned on talking about it)

a/n: i don't know who's or what's gonna do it but I need someone to forgive me for this. also hopefully this turned out okay, it's very loosely edited and feel a bit all over the place but hopefully I'm just overthinking it. enjoy babes

Your father remarried when you were seventeen. 

You felt cheated at the time. And not because your father had found love again—no, that made you quite happy actually. You just wished he’d done it sooner, you could’ve benefited from having a big brother early on. Your relationship with your birth mother wasn’t easy, especially when you were young, and having someone there to vent to would’ve been like a dream. Your dad listened, but you know he felt someone guilty for it even though it wasn’t his fault. 

Frankie was only three years older than you. Sadly, he didn’t stick around for long, going off to college a year later. But his visits were frequent enough that you two developed a somewhat friendly relationship.

Emphasis on the somewhat. 

Being young and dumb, you developed a crush on him instead. It was an innocent thing. Just some hearts around his name and following him around like a duckling whenever he was around. Your dad and stepmom found it cute, endearing. Frankie seemed indifferent most of the time. He listened when you needed to vent, brought you soup when you were sick and your parents were working—and that was pretty much it. 

Then he went and joined the army. 

You remember the chaos that decision brought over the household. You were applying for colleges all on your own, your dad busy trying to console your stepmom, the latter being distraught over the potential of losing her son. You were just. . . sorta around, floating and looking over them, listening without really being there, just. . . there. 

A month later you were surprised to find a letter addressed to you. There was one for his mom and one for you, you just stared at it, confused when your dad handed it to you. 

You opened it in your room. You swore the damn paper smelled like him, the beat of your heart too loud to your own ears. 

You read it. There was only one sentence scribbled down, his handwriting even more crooked than usual. 

I’m sorry. 

You didn’t write back to him. You had no idea why he was apologizing and you were too afraid to ask at the time. During your first day of college you just assumed it was because he left you to deal with the mess his absence caused. 

Then he returned. 

The house was bustling when you came for your weekend visit. Your stepmom grinning from ear to ear when you arrived, hugging you tight with tears shining in her eyes. Frankie had brought a friend with him, a friend almost as handsome as him. 

Said friend had smiled at you, squeezing your hand tight, “Santiago,” he introduced himself. He stayed over for about a week and so did you, charmed by this sudden stranger that was your brother’s best friend. 

Frankie didn’t address the letter. Or what he’s written inside of it. He was the same as he’d ever been and for a second you doubted if you ever did receive a letter. But you knew you did. You still had it. 

At the end of the week, Santi officially asked you out, telling you that he’d already spoken to Frankie about it. You almost laughed at the absurdity of the whole ordeal. It wasn’t like Frankie ever was protective towards you, you were pretty sure Frankie couldn’t care less about who you dated. But nonetheless, you said yes, hoping that Santi would bring you the normalcy you so desperately craved. 

And he did. You were happy, enjoying every moment you spent with him. Santi didn’t push you aside, he didn’t make you feel like you had to fight for his attention. You didn’t have to play tricks or games, you weren’t second place to no one. Finally, you felt like the lead in your own goddamn life and you would always feel grateful to him for that. 

You couldn’t say the same thing with your relationship with Frankie thought. He completely iced you out, only talking to you normally when people were around, especially Santi. No one seemed to notice. You wanted to ask him about it but too much of a coward to do so. And honestly, you didn’t have it in you to care anymore. Neither you nor Frankie were young anymore; if he had a problem, he could just ask.

Three months into your relationship, you moved in with Santi. 

The setting sun's warm, orange glow pours through the open windows. A gentle breeze brushes against your skin, as you place a cup of hot black coffee on the table in front of him.

Santi sits on the couch, absorbed in the files from work. His fingers flip through the pages as he studies them intently. The soft rustling of paper mingles with the soft summer air. 

You sit next to him, your legs brushing together. Unlike him, you didn’t hate yourself so you were cooling your insides down with an iced coffee. You take a sip, your eyes eating at the way the sun kisses his skin, sharpening his jawline further. 

“Thanks,” he mutters, lifting his mug to your lips. His eyes find yours midst of drinking. “What are you looking at, querida?” he asks, lips twitching into a smile. 

“Oh nothing,” you hum. “Just looking at my very hot boyfriend.” 

“Very hot hmm,” Santi places the mug on the coffee table and gives you all his attention. “Seems like someone’s gonna miss me when I’m away.” 

Before you can quip back, he pulls you to his lap, your thighs framing his hips. You instinctively grind down and let out a shuddering breath, Santi drops his head back against the couch. “Fuck, you really are going to miss me, aren’t you? Sweet thing.” 

You cradle his jaw with both hands, leaning in, you press your lips together. Santi eagerly licks the seam of your lips, a silent order for you to let him in, you do, moaning at the feel of his tongue dancing alongside yours. He sucks the air from your lungs, tracing every inch of you with his tongue, a shiver runs up your spine, your body rubbing against his despite yourself. 

When he parts away you take in the sight of his swollen lips, his lustful gaze. Your heart skips a beat and your insides flush. 

“Oh, by the way, Frankie called,” he says out of the blue and out of breath. 

Well, that certainly kills the mood. 

“He needs a place to crash a couple of days, is that alright?” his eyebrows raise. “I’m actually surprised you don’t know. What kind of sibling relationship do you two have?” 

“You know we never actually lived together right?” you shrug. “But of course, he’s my brother and I love him. He can stay as long as he wants to.” 

He nods. “Good,” then nods again before giving you a quick peck on the lips. “It’s a bummer I won’t be here when he arrives.” 

“You could’ve rescheduled.” 

“This isn’t that kind of job sweetheart, you know it.” he nuzzles your cheek, feeling your discomfort. “But anyway, I’ll see him plenty when I get back.” 

You draw him into another kiss, and you take your time with it, feeling the fat strokes of his tongue delving into your mouth as you part your lips further. You wish he’d be here when Frankie comes. He still doesn’t talk much unless there are others around and after all these years you don’t know what you did to anger him enough so that he’d hold a grudge. 

Santi moans into your mouth and cups your breasts, toying with your hardened nipples with his thumbs. You wonder how okay he’d be with it if he knew about your past crush on Frankie. He’d probably laugh it off, it was a long time ago anyway. 

Your mind drifts to Frankie. To his messy curls the ballcap he refused to take off. Deep down you wonder what his reaction would be in learning about your past crush. A gush of heat rolls down your spine, slick gathering at the seams of your underwear. Santi's fingers glide downward, tracing the path between your legs. You shudder, a moan breaking through your lips. 

You’re not sure who you’re thinking about right now, two faces merging as one. 

You’re sitting on the couch, rigid, when you hear the knock that you hoped never came. 

All day you’ve been pacing around thinking about it, thinking about Frankie. He hadn’t called you not even once. All of his travel info was forwarded to you by Santi. It hurt to a degree. Him ignoring your presence so forcefully. You haven’t visited home in ages just because you knew he was staying there, helping your dad with the business. Sometimes you teased your father that Frankie was the son he’d always wanted, and despite your awkward laughter, you knew there was some truth to that statement. 

Another forceful knock. 

You finally push yourself off the couch and head to the door. Blood pumps vigorously through your veins, your heart beating too fast—too loud. You don’t have time to calm yourself as you yank the door open. 

His eyes immediately meet your own. Dark like chocolate chips but bitter like coffee. Sweat clings to his skin, hair curling at the ends, his shirt darkened in color sticking to his sternum, highlighting the contours of his chest and the swell of his stomach. You swallow. 

“Hey, Frankie,” you make a move to help with his luggage but he pulls it away before you can touch the handle. Filled with unease, you take a step back and leave enough room for him and his luggage to pass through. “How was the flight?” 

“Good.” 

Jesus, why does he always make everything so difficult? 

You close the door when he fully steps in, he does a brief once-over across the living room. His eyes linger on the picture of you and Santi on the coffee table, then quickly turn back to you, ignoring his own picture entirely. “Which room am I in, hermanita?” 

Your eyes widen at the endearment, your pulse picking up again. It had been years since he last called you that. “Uh. . . last room down the hall,” you murmur, mind absent. When he’s about to leave, you grip his arm, stopping him. His muscles tense underneath your touch, his eyes burning holes into the hand that’s holding him. “I cooked,” you say, choked. “You must be hungry, let’s eat first then I’ll show you around.” 

Frankie rolls his shoulders and moves his jaw from side to side. You’re about to take back your offer when he sighs, his shoulders dropping. “Fine. Okay.” 

You’re heating up the food when Frankie walks through the kitchen door. He’s wearing a clean shirt, cheeks damp from where he splashed water over himself. 

“Smells nice,” he mutters, standing next to you and peering from above your shoulder. “Is that mom’s recipe?” 

“It is,” a soft smile touches your lips. His eyes follow the curve of it, a slight surprise etching between his brows. “But I don’t make any promises about the taste. It’s my first time making it.” 

“You shouldn’t have.” 

There’s something in his tone that prompts you to stop your stirring and look at him. You’re surprised to find him already staring. His eyes clouded, lips tight as his gaze searching yours. “I shouldn’t have. . . what?” you ask very slowly, every word chosen very carefully. 

“Cooked,” he’s so unbelievably close. So close that you can hear the rasps in his voice, feel the heat of his breath across your cheeks. Your breath catches in your throat, heat pooling in your stomach. 

“O–Oh, well it’s nothing,” you force a chuckle. “Didn’t want to feed you something you didn’t like when you’re already probably uncomfortable.” 

He laughs, a sound you hadn’t heard in such a long time. Your body vibrates with the sound. “What am I? A dog?” However, the moment is fleeting like the sand dancing under the wind. His brows furrow. “What do you mean uncomfortable?” 

Ah, so much for picking your words carefully. 

You shrug and turn off the stove. Your eyes move up to the cupboard, you so desperately want to break away from the hold the close proximity has on you but it just feels good to be physically close to him again. He’s taller than Santi, that combined with broad shoulders and chest, Frankie’s presence can be quite demanding when he wants it to be. You guess that right now is one of those moments. He cups your chin, his fingers brushing against your neck. Your throat bobs heavily under his palm, sweat gathering at the small of your back. 

“Don’t play dumb,” you answer him sharply. “You barely talk to me when we’re alone. You didn’t even tell me you were staying over or your itinerary, I had to learn it all from Santi,” you break away from his grip, your anger starting to boil over. Frankie’s unphased by your sudden movement. “So what? All of that changes just because I cooked for you? Just because you only now noticed that I actually care about you? Do you have any idea how—” 

You clamp your lips shut. It was too much— too much threatening to bubble out. The inside of your mouth feels like sandpaper, your throat convulsing painfully as regret coats your tongue. You dare a glance at Frankie. He doesn’t seem taken aback by your outburst. In fact, he’s giving you a look as if he’s been waiting for this. 

“I know that you care,” he murmurs and you look away, the softness in your tone more than enough to convince you that he knows. And he had known, all this time. “I had to ice you out. I didn’t have much of a choice.” 

You need to hear him say it. You need him to tell you that he knows—you need him to blatantly tell you that every time you averted your gaze at the last second years before. . . he noticed. 

“Choice in what? Just tell me,” you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling like your entire body might shatter into a billion pieces at any second. 

He gives you a knowing look, eyes moving up and down your figure. “You know why.” 

“So as always it’s my fault.” 

“What?” he blinks rapidly and comes closer, hands finding your waist in an odd sense of familiarity. “No no, it’s not your fault. I. . . I was protecting you,” he licks his lips, eyes dropping to your mouth. “I was. . . protecting you from myself.”

You shake your head, fighting every urge to nuzzle his neck like a wounded animal. To smell his scent to soothe you. God, you’re unbelievable. And here you thought all your feelings had disappeared, apparently, they were just laying dormant under the flesh and bone. 

His nails bite into your skin despite your clothes. 

“Do you know how hard it was seeing you with him?” he spat the last word as if it was poison. A shiver crawls up your spine, needles digging into your skin. “You started to look at him the same way you used to look at me. I had to pull away.” 

“You were jealous?” you ask, confusion crossing your face. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Because it’s wrong, hermanita.” 

The Spanish hit his tongue more violently this time. A reminder of what this relationship was supposed to be. However, the word doesn’t stop him from coming closer and closer, until his lips are only a breath away. 

“We’ve never been brother and sister, Frankie,” you say voice surprisingly hoarse. “Everyone knows that.” 

He scoffs, “You’re dating my best friend.” 

For that, you don’t have an excuse. All you can do is swallow and nod, his chest now flush against his, the only thing separating you to is your own arms that were still squeezing you tight. 

Frankie observes you a second longer, eyes flitting across your face; taking in the sight of your parted lips and dilated pupils. “But,” he continues, voice dangerously low. "I'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."

You enter the bedroom and as soon as you do guilt rapidly builds in your chest, Frankie is right behind you, closing the door while your gaze remains glued to the picture that’s on your nightstand. A picture of you and Santi; there’s frosting on his nose from your birthday cake, your face split in a huge smile. You also remember being mildly bummed that Frankie hadn’t called. 

He follows your gaze, frowning when he notices what it was that you were staring at. With large steps, he walks over to the frame and slams it down. 

“Do you want this?” he breathes out, voice nothing but gravel. He doesn’t turn to look at you, his face lowered to the nightstand. “Because if you don’t, you have to tell me.” 

He’s asking the wrong question. 

You walk up to him, sliding your arms to his front as you press your forehead between his shoulder blades. 

Of course, you want this. 

The question he should be asking is if it’s worth throwing everything away just for one night. Because this is what that was. You don’t think you can hide it, and you’re not even sure if you want to hide it. 

Being with Frankie tonight means that you’re saying goodbye to Santiago, whether you tell him or he figures it out. 

You clutch the front of his shirt. It’s damp with sweat. You press a kiss, enjoying the moisture gathering at your lips. “Do you?” 

He turns around and grabs your face, pulling you to him immediately. Your mouths crash together, tongue and teeth eager to explore more of the other. He’s already pulling you away before your brain can’t even comprehend the taste of him, “More than anything,” he growls, hands still cradling your face. “Get on your knees.” 

Your drop instantly, not even bothering to take off your shirt. Warmth blossoms all over your skin as he drops his pants along with his boxers, cock already hard and ready. He starts stroking himself and tilts your head back. “Open your mouth,” he orders. 

Slotting the head of his cock between your lips, fist moving up and down his length. You close your lips around him, dipping your tongue into the slit. He groans with a rock of his hips, the first drops of precome stain your tongue, a loud moan ripping from your throat. You desperately want to bury your hand between your legs, your clit throbbing angrily. 

Frankie moves his hand away from his cock and brackets your head with both hands, pushing you forward down his cock. Only halfway down and you begin gagging, struggling for breath. You knew he’d be big, you just weren’t aware of how big. 

A cruel laughter rings above you, “That’s it?” he asks. “That’s all you can take?” you look up, eyes teary as he thrust a little bit more. Your throat squeezes helplessly around the width of him, your nostrils flaring. Frankie clicks his tongue, “My poor baby sister,” he tuts. “You’re not used to taking something this big huh?” 

You attempt to convey an answer but end up choking around him instead, your lids flutter, wet lashes kissing the skin under your eyes. “I guess I’ll have you train you myself,” your nipples harden at the promise, slick gathering at the seams of your underwear. “But later,” he says and much to your disappointment, pulls out. 

You breathe heavily, chest heaving as oxygen floods your lungs. 

“Strip,” he says, pulling off his shirt and kicking his pants away. “And get on the bed.” 

“So bossy,” you mutter, and as soon as you do, Frankie tugs you roughly against him, his tongue slipping between your lips hastily. He doesn’t allow you to breathe, mouth moving before you get the chance. He licks deeper into your mouth, and sucks your tongue as he parts away. Your insides flush. Your head spinning and legs trembling. Lightheaded, you grip his shoulders. 

“I’m not bossy,” he grunts, wet lips touching your forehead. “I’m just eager.” 

That makes both of you. Quickly stripping, you climb the bed waiting for him to show you just how eager he was. 

Instead, he walks around the bed, examing the pillows, “Which one is his?” 

“Santi’s pillow?” you raise an eyebrow. “It’s the one on the left.” 

He takes it with a hum, “Spread your legs,” he says and when you do, he places the pillow between them. Your heart races, a surge of arousal coursing through your veins. You don’t lower yourself down on the pillow, too embarrassed to do so. Frankie sits on the footstool at the end of the bed and takes his cock into his fist. He stares at you expectantly. 

“Uh—What am I supposed to do?” 

His cat-like grin makes you realize he wanted you to ask that, he leans forward, touching himself slowly, “I want you to make a mess of his pillow,” he groans. You clench at the order, your cheeks heating at how slick you’ve gotten just from the thought of it. “I want you to drench it so when he lays his head, he knows you don’t belong to him.” 

Frankie’s gaze flash with hunger, it frightens you to a degree, how angry he truly is. 

The fact that you actually do it, frightens you more. 

You lower yourself onto the pillow, feeling its softness beneath you and a strange thrill whispering through your body as your arousal surges higher. With a moan, you begin to ride the pillow, sinking your hips deeper with every thrust. You feel it grazing your clit, a whimper dropping from your lips. Mouth agape, you lift your gaze to Frankie. 

He’s stroking himself with a smile, wet noises coming from his fist fill the room, he swipes a thumb over the head. Your mouth flooding with saliva, you press against the pillow harder, the muscles of your legs clenching. Frankie notices and spreads his legs further, giving you a show of cupping his balls before moving his hand up again. 

“You look like you’ve never seen cock before,” he purrs. “You can’t wait can you? For me to fill that hungry pussy up. Don’t worry, big brother is going to take care of you.” 

“Fuck—” you can feel your body becoming increasingly slick, your breathing heavy and labored as pleasure ripples across your skin. Your body tenses and trembles as you rock against the pillow relentlessly, the coil tightening as you circle your hips. 

Dampness gross underneath you, Frankie’s eyes fixed on where you and Santi’s pillow connect. You’re embarrassingly wet, strings of slick stretching between. Your movements start to slow as your orgasm nears, it’s too much and you have the need to just bend over and let Frankie fuck you hard without any of the games. 

The legs of the footstool drag against the hardwood floors, the sound making you jump. Climbing the bed, he sits on his knees, “Let me feel how wet you are,” he groans. He pushes his hand between your legs without waiting for an answer. He slips a finger in, your eyes rolling back at the pressure. “He can’t get you this wet can he?” he asks rhetorically. “Bet he’d loved to see you getting yourself off like this, coming for another man.” he curses, thrusting into his other hand. 

You hover above the pillow, your thighs starting to shake for exertion. 

“Don’t stop, baby. Come on, soak it—soak it and I’ll fuck you.” 

Your nipples tighten and your skin begins to tingle with arousal. Your head tilts backward and your mouth opens slightly as your body arches and grinds against the pillow. Something devastating builds inside, it builds and builds and builds—builds until you can’t take it anymore. Liquid heat sprays out of you, your walls convulsing as you drip down his hand and soak the pillow, just like he said. 

“That’s it, that’s it,” he murmurs, pulling out his finger and dragging the wet digit over your cheek. He kisses you deeply. “Good fucking girl,” he growls into your mouth, nipping your chin. 

You gasp for breath, your hips slowing but still shaking with pleasure even when you stop. Your mind is in a state of ecstasy. Frankie forces your jaw apart and purses his lips, spitting into your mouth. You jolt when it hits your tongue. “Swallow,” he murmurs. 

“Gonna fuck you now, sweet girl,” he coos. “Gonna claim you on the bed you sleep with him every night,” he chuckles into your mouth. “I’m going to fuck you so good that Pope’s gonna keep wondering why it always smells like sex in here.” 

God, you wish it didn’t but the words and the depravity he said them in makes your skin prickle, an involuntary moan slipping from your lips. 

Frankie turns you over, pulling the pillow under your hips as you remain on all fours. Your arms feel weak, legs still trembling from your orgasm. “F–Frankie,” you slur your words. 

“Don’t worry baby,” he murmurs, pressing his mouth over the small of your back. “I got you, and I’m never gonna let go.” 

He positions Santi’s pillow under your hips, the fabric dark in color from your slick. Your arms finally gave way and you drop face-first into the sheets, you can smell him now, Santi’s pine scent fills your lungs. 

Shit, what the hell is wrong with you? 

“Stop thinking about him,” Frankie hisses from behind you, parting your folds by dragging his length. He lets out a deep sigh before you can answer. “It doesn’t matter, you won’t be able to think of anything else soon anyway.” 

You shudder at the promise of his words. He leans in, the heft of his body covering yours as his lips touch your ear, “I’m gonna come inside this pretty cunt. Then you’re going to squeeze every bit of it out and taste it—Got it?” 

“Y-Yes,” your voice is trembling, your body burning from the inside out. 

Suddenly he grips your nape, squeezing until pain ebbs under the skin. You swallow, tears stinging the corner of your eyes; he doesn’t say a word, pushing his cock between your wet thighs. It’s filthy how he makes you feel, how badly you want to surrender to him. You drool all over him, your walls spasming until the head catches against your clit and a whimper leaves your lips. 

Frankie comes to a halt and his grip around your nape lightens, caressing the skin. 

You let out a little groan as he eases himself inside you. He moves further and further until he’s fully sheathed. A thrill surges through your body. Your eyes roll back at finally faving him inside, a wanton moan falling from your lips. 

Frankie flexes his cock and you groan at the stretch, “Who’s bigger?” he huffs, pushing deeper. Your body becomes limp underneath him. “Me or him.” 

“You,” you manage to garble a response. “You’re so much bigger than him, Frankie.” 

“Yeah?” he pants, chest heaving. “He can’t fuck you like this can he?” 

He presses your hips flush against the pillow, the dampness that touch you scorching your skin. You nod helplessly and claw against the sheets. “He can’t—” you choke out. “Frankie please.” 

He gives you what you want, grinding against you, cock filling you up with every forceful thrust. His ragged moans echo around the room, and you grasp onto the sheets tighter. Every thought is knocked out of your head every time he buries himself into you. Hips bruising where it hits your skin. You reach the peak quickly, that familiar tingle blossoming between your legs. 

“Fuck—” beads of sweat line Frankie’s body, and you can feel the heat radiating from him. “You feel so good, so fucking good.” 

He wraps an arm around you and pulls you out, holding one breast tight. His thumb goes in circles, lust lapping at your tired body as he presses deeper. “I want to feel you coming just on my cock,” he moans into your cheek.

Frankie angles himself in a way that he brushes against something devastating inside of you. It’s like a jolt of electricity, the force of it enough to empty the air in your lungs. He drags his cock over the same spot again and again, his thrust quick paced. You cry out his name when static fills your ears and dots dance over yoru vision. Your head falls back, chest heaving as your body quakes. 

Your cunt continues to squeeze and throb around him, and soon enough, you feel the hot spill of come filling you to the brim. You swear another orgasm washes over you, the flavor of it thick on your tongue as you meet his thrusts. Frankie huffs a tired laugh and grips your asscheeks, spreading them. 

“I can feel you dripping,” he murmurs, you hear the smile in his voice. “Makes me want to stay buried in your forever,” in contrast to his words, Frankie pulls out. “I hope you didn’t forget what I said,” he kisses your neck, long and slow. “Drag that full pussy all over his pillow.” 

You spread your legs wider, rolling your hips over the soft material, you hiss when it brushes over your clit. “S-Shit, Frankie—” 

“Bet he never fucked you like that before,” he remarks. Satisfied with the mess, he gestures you to move away. You practically collaps, head thudding against the headboard. Frankie’s gaze is fixed on the poor pillow, drenched in your slick and his come. 

No matter what Frankie says, you’re not letting Santi sleep on that pillow. You’re fucked up, but you’re not that fucked up. 

Staring at the pillow, reality finally settles in. A sharp inhale parts your lips and Frankie’s eyes snap toward the sound, his gaze searching yours. “There’s no going back from this,” he says. “When’s he coming back?” 

“The day after tomorrow.” 

“Good,” he crawl over to you, taking place between your still trembling legs. He slides his palm up your tigh and presses his mouth against your neck. “That’ll give us more time.” 

You’re too much of a coward to ask time for what. 

[cowgurrrl]

Sleeping on the Blacktop

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: guys we did it i wrote smut i actually like (ps this was edited but also not reread because I’ve been trying to write it for five hours so if you see any mistakes no you didn’t)

Summary: The Land of No Return [4.7k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION, platonic expressions of love, the mortifying ordeal of being known, sexting, we finally get to know about reader's secret tattoos, smut, Joel the Menace makes his long awaited return with that dirty fucking mouth, mutual masturbation, phone sex (??(sure)), protected sex (no Miller babies for them) p in v stuff, June being indulgent with describing Joel Miller, anxiety, I think that's it??

Music floods the kitchen as you and Andie work on making the best "last supper but with women" possible. The lamps glow orange on the walls and create funny shadows when you dance together, pulling each other in and out to old jazzy tunes. You laugh when she throws a string of spaghetti at your fridge to test if it's ready a little too hard, and it splatters water everywhere. You, honestly, might be a little delirious. You're both in your pajamas, and you've been watching movies all day. You exchange what you remember from New Year's Eve and cringe at what the other fills in. You drink cheap wine from plastic cups and snack on chips as the food cooks. 

It feels like high school again, with all the girlish giggling and inside jokes you trade back and forth, except this time, instead of her going back to her house ten minutes up the road, she's going back to her apartment half the world away. No matter how long you get with her, it's never enough. Thousands of miles and different schedules will do that. Keeping long-distance friendships as an adult is just as hard, if not harder, than making new ones. 

When dinner is ready, you fix your plates and sit next to each other at your messy dining room table— the IKEA one she helped you build when Henry walked out with the first one— and eat. Paint stains the wood of the table, and half-finished works are scattered around the dining room, but you barely notice them as you talk. She tells you about the things waiting for her in Vienna: work, her cat, Oslo, and piano lessons. You don't have to pretend to be envious because you are. You have to go back to school and the Real World once you drop her off at the airport in the morning. You wish you could go with her. 

"Alright, c'mon. Spill it. What's going on with you and Joel?" She asks in between bites of garlic bread. You laugh and shake your head.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Bullshit. Tommy told me he saw you guys."

"Speaking of Tommy," you pivot. "What's going on there? You two seemed pretty chummy." You raise your eyebrows at her, and a big smile takes over her face. She takes another bite of food to buy herself some time, but there's no way you're letting her off the hook, especially after all her teasing about Joel.

"Nothing. We were just… talking." She finally says, and you give her a look. 

"Talking?"

"Yes. People talk. You should try it sometime."

"Was it talking like we are now or talking like Joel and I talked?" You hum, and she kicks her feet as she leans forward.

"So you and Joel did talk." 

"Well, we probably would've if somebody didn't come barging in."

"Goddammit, I told him to wait," she groans. "Sorry, girl."

"Yeah, me too," you say, and she laughs. You bump her knee and give her a look. "Alright, your turn. What's going on with Tommy?" 

"Nothing that could actually turn into anything." 

"Aw, c'mon. Don't count yourself out so early."

"It's not counting myself out. It's being realistic. I live in Vienna. He lives here. I'm not ready to come back to the States, and he seems content, so there's nothing that can happen," she shrugs. "It was a fling. A very nice fling, but a fling nevertheless." She seems a little too sad for it to have been just a fling. They exchanged numbers, and you've caught her texting him several times. She said she did kiss him on New Year's Eve (before she threw up), but they didn't go any further besides flirting the next morning. You watched them test each other at breakfast, and he seemed just as interested in her as she was in him. They'd be cute together. She sighs and pushes her pasta around in her bowl like a dejected character from a period piece.

"Tommy is very handsome." You comment, and she grabs your arm, animating all of a sudden. 

"Dude, I've been dying to talk about it. What the fuck are they putting in the water here? It's insane." 

"It's annoying, right?" 

"So annoying." She agrees. You laugh about it together and, finally, give her the details she's been waiting so patiently for. When you finish your story, her hands are over her mouth, and her eyes are wide. "Oh, my God. You have to get him back."

"I know, I know! He's driving me up a fucking wall." You say, taking a bite of food. It will get cold if you don't stop talking, but you also don't care. 

"You could surprise him with some lingerie or something." She suggests, and you groan. 

"God, I don't even remember the last time I bought lingerie."

"All the more reason to buy some." 

"I don't know. I feel like I could just show up naked, and he'd be happy with that."

"He sounds like a keeper then."

"Yeah, I don't know," you shrug. "I like him a lot. I just… don't know if it's sustainable."

"Why?" She asks. You almost want to gesture around your messy apartment and half-put together life as if it will answer her question.

"I mean, he's a good guy, and we're having fun, but for how long? His kid's gonna be in at least one of my classes until she graduates. Not to mention, he has another daughter who is in medical school. We both work full-time. And then there's the whole having to keep it a secret thing. It could get really old really fast." You sigh. 

"What if it doesn't?"

"What?"

"What if it doesn't get old? What if it ends up working out?" She asks. You take a deep breath. "You didn't even think about that possibility. Did you?"

"I just don't wanna get hurt."

"That's a very real possibility. Things could go wrong. He could break your heart. You could lose your job. Society as we know it could come crashing down, and you know what? The sun's still gonna come up the next day. The birds will still sing, and I will still be here," she says, putting her hand over yours. You purse your lips as you process her words. "You deserve nice things, kid. Don't count yourself out so early." She echoes your earlier sentiment, and you smile.

She's right. Of course, she's right. You don't let yourself think good things could happen because you're so focused on all the bad. She's known you for so long she can read your thoughts and know your habits before you can. What a horrifying and beautiful thing it is to be known inside and out like that. 

"Maybe you should've been a writer instead of a musician," you say, and she laughs. You squeeze her hand and sigh as you look at her. "I'm really gonna miss you."

"I'm really gonna miss you, too."

"I wish you could stay."

"I know," she says. "But you need an excuse to come to Vienna, and I need an excuse to come to Austin, and if I stay, we lose that."

"I guess that's true."

"Besides, if I stop making trans-Atlantic calls, I think my phone company would be concerned." She points out, making you laugh. You know she's telling you what she's told herself this whole time. She loves Vienna, but you know she gets homesick. You know she's trying really hard to convince herself to get back on that plane. You don't push her about staying again. You just indulge in her presence. 

"I love you." You say softly, and she smiles.

"I love you, too." She says. 

It means so much more than just "I love you." It means, "I love you, and I want us both to eat well." It means, "I love you, and I can't imagine doing this life without you." It means, "I love you, and I know you have to go." Never any buts. Always ands, because love like this knows no bounds. Not borders, not time zones, not lifestyles. 

You finish the dinner you made and clean the kitchen side by side before climbing into bed and staying up as late as possible to try and get Andie back on Vienna time. In the morning, you drag yourselves out of bed and sing in the car on the way to get coffee, and when the time comes for you to get her suitcase out of your backseat and watch her disappear behind glass doors, you hug her tight and tell her you love her again. She repeats the sentiment with another squeeze and deep breath that tells you how close to tears she is. Then, she turns around and doesn't look back to prove she's strong enough to leave. She doesn't need to prove anything to you. You always knew she was strong enough to do this.

The car ride back is emotional and lonely and tinged with the bass line of Ribs by Lorde, but your phone buzzes as you pull back into your apartment complex with tears staining your cheeks. 

Thanks for letting us meet Andie. She's a really sweet person. I'm sorry she has to leave today.

You don't remember telling him what day she was leaving, but she might've told Tommy, and Tommy told Joel. You smile and text him back. 

Thanks for taking care of us. She only had good things to say about you and Tommy. We'll have to all hang out again the next time she's home. 

And then.

Thanks for checking on me. I really appreciate it. 

Of course. I'm always a wreck when I have to drop Sarah off at the airport. I'm around if you wanna talk. Ellie's hanging out with some friends, and Tommy's on-site today.

You stare at the messages and debate your options. He basically just told you he's home alone and has nothing to do for the rest of the day. And yes, he is probably being sweet and really offering to talk if you're feeling lonely, but you also know how talking usually goes for you two. You smirk as you type out a message.

Just talk?

It seems like he can't type fast enough.

What else would you wanna do?

I think you made some promises you need to follow through on, Miller.

I guess I did. 

Come over and I can do just that.

Actually, I have some work to get done :( maybe next time?

You lock your phone and bound up to your apartment, conscious of the sudden lengthening of time between messages. It's fun to imagine him trying to come up with a response that respects your boundaries but also lets you know how needy he is. He may have started this little game, but you're gonna be the one to perfect it. Thus begins the days upon days of not sexting, but not not sexting. 

At first, it's just messages about how you miss him and wish he was around. He tries to find an excuse to come over, but you effectively cockblock him at every turn. Your response times get a little slower the more worked up he gets, so he has to figure it out on his own. You never would've thought Joel Miller, a man with gray in his beard and wrinkles lining his face, could be such a fast texter, but you figure there's nothing more desperate than a horny man. 

Messages quickly escalate to pictures. They start off innocent enough: a picture of the painting you're working on, but your bare legs give away the fact that you're not wearing pants, a picture of him stepping out of a hot shower, his bare chest slightly red and glistening from the water, a picture of you wearing the burnt orange shirt he sent you home in New Year's Day with no bra on underneath. Then, you get a little bolder. After a quick trip to the mall, you pose in front of the mirror in a short delicate white night down with pretty lace details on the top, the hem barely hitting the tops of your thighs and showing off the large tattoos hiding there. You look hot, and imagining Joel's reaction to you makes you flush and rub your thighs together to get some relief.

It's true that Joel would've been happy if you showed up to his house wearing (or not wearing) anything, but when the photo pings to his phone, he's never been more grateful for Victoria's Secret in his life. His breath hitches in his throat, and he quickly tucks his phone into his chest like someone is gonna come up behind him and see what he's looking at. He's barely glanced at the photo and he's already straining in his jeans. 

Goddamn, he texts back. You're so fucking pretty, baby.

You like it?

It's a dumb question, but you really don't care.

It's perfect.

What do you like about it?

Besides the fact that you're the one wearing it? I like that it makes you look like more of an angel than you already are, and I like that I can finally see those tattoos you've been hiding from me. 

Bingo, you think to yourself. He was able to catch glimpses of the large pieces hiding on your back and shoulders at the art gallery, and when he picked up on New Year's Eve, you caught him staring at them each time. You thought he was following the inky lines up your body, but you couldn't be sure. Now, he's giving himself away, and you're practically buzzing with excitement.

You turn around in the mirror and arch your back, perfectly showing off your ass and the intricate tattoo lining your spine, and snap a picture. It's one of the largest ones you have, and it's also the easiest to hide. Besides, you definitely didn't get it for your own enjoyment. You live for moments like this. You send him the picture and smile as you type.

Like this one?

Your phone rings not even two minutes after he reads the message. You giggle when he groans into the receiver instead of greeting you.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me, baby." He says, his voice so deep you can practically feel it rumble against your ear.

"I told you I'd get you back." You say it like it's obvious, but he just hums. There's shuffling on his end, and all you can do is wait for him to say something else.

"What else have you been hidin' underneath all those little dresses, hm?" He asks. "Tattoos. The most fuckin' perfect tits I've ever seen. Anythin' else I should know bout? 'S your pussy as pretty as the rest of ya?" You didn't mean for him to hear you gasp, but he seemed pleased that he could pull such a sound from you without even being in the same room. Just like that, any doubt or reservation you had left flies out the window. You finally cave and slip your hand down your panties to glide your fingers through your folds. "Am I makin' you wet, sweetheart?"

"Fuck," you mumble. It's absurd how turned on you are by this whole thing. Your fingers slowly circle your clit, and your head gets so fuzzy you almost forget to respond to him. "Yes, Joel." 

"Are you playin' with yourself?" He asks, and you nod even though he can't see you. "Poor thing. I wish I could be there to help ya. I'd have you spread open for me so I can touch you however I want. Figure out what you like and what makes you cry for me." You put him on speaker and throw your phone down so you can focus on gliding through your wetness, your middle finger pushing into you slowly.

"What... what would you do?" You ask, breathless. 

"I'd start by usin' my fingers just to feel you out, and I bet you'd feel so fuckin' good. I'd play with your clit until you're beggin' me to put a finger inside you, and I'd slip two in slowly while kissin' your inner thighs and watchin' you squeeze my fingers," you moan as you listen to his raspy voice and fuck yourself to his words. You try to imagine what his fingers would feel like inside of you. How different compared to yours, how much better they'd feel. Goddammit. "Then, I'd use my mouth on you while my fingers move in and out. I'd lick you all over and feel you soakin' me when I suck on your clit." He says, and you return to rubbing said bundle of nerves, faster this time, as you become acutely aware of his labored breathing over the phone. 

Is he touching himself? The idea of him holding the phone with one hand and fisting his cock with the other sends a wave of heat down your spine, and you keen into your own hand. A shaky breath and muttered curse leave his lips, and then you know for sure what he's doing. Your head spins, and you'd be embarrassed by how close you are just from his voice if you weren't entirely focused on the pleasure clouding your brain. 

"Fuck, Joel-"

"I know, baby, I know," he coos sympathetically. Another lewd moan leaves you as you get closer and closer to the edge, stars threatening the corners of your vision. "Are you gonna come for me like this?" He asks, and you hum in the affirmative, not trusting yourself to form words. "Come on. Let me hear you. I wanna hear what you sound like when you fall apart." His voice is coming faster and breathier, a light growl at the end of his words. How are you to deny him that? 

The speed of your fingers on your clit increases, but it's his own broken whimpers that finally do it. Your back arches as the waves wash over you, and noises you didn't even know you could make escape your lips. You can vaguely hear a broken sigh accentuated by a particularly hot whine from Joel's end. Henry was never as vocal or talkative as Joel is. None of your past partners have been. In the aftershocks of your orgasm, you have a quick passing thought that he might ruin dating for you. You might never want to see anyone else who doesn't treat you like this. You might be fucked.

"Joel," you say when you have control over your thoughts again. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat.

"Yeah?"

"Get the fuck over here now."

Joel's house is on the other side of Austin. With traffic, getting to your apartment can take anywhere from twenty to forty-five minutes, depending on how fast you're willing to go and how many red lights you can pass under. Joel gets there in fifteen. You're still in the flouncy dress you bought specifically to torture him, but by the time you open the door for him, you're much less interested in making his life any more miserable than you already have over the past week. 

He doesn't hesitate to charge into your apartment, grab your face, and kiss you like his life depends on it. His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, and you open to him, clinging to him as his hands move from your face to the backs of your thighs to pick you up. You squeal in surprise and lock your legs around his waist to bring him closer and keep yourself from falling. Even though he obviously came over the phone at the same time you did, he's hard again and pressing against your bare pussy. He hisses when you grind against him, and his jaw clenches as he pulls away like he's in pain.

"Where's your bedroom?" He asks, wide eyes searching the hallway behind you.

"First door on the left." You say as you duck your head to kiss his neck. He sighs and indulges in the feeling of your tongue against his skin before he finally finds his feet and stumbles into your bedroom. You're halfway through marking him before he lays you down and immediately rucks his hands up your thighs, spreading them apart and making you whine. 

"You okay?" He asks, stopping all movement to scan over your face for any signs of discomfort. You nod and reach for the buttons of his jeans.

"Yes. Just need you." You say. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Joel, I just came from the sound of your voice. Yes, I'm fucking sure." You say, a little frenzied as you pull at the hem of his shirt. He laughs as he pulls it over his head and quickly unzips his jeans. 

"Feisty." 

"Can you blame me?" You ask, and he shakes his head. He tugs his jeans and his briefs down at the same time and unveils all of him to you in one go. He's beautiful. You knew he would be, but seeing the graying chest hairs and the pretty happy trail leading down to his hard cock in between his strong, tan thighs is an entirely different thing. You reach for him, desperate to feel the weight of him in your hands, but he stops you by slipping the tiny straps of your night gown down your arms. 

He carefully pulls the fabric down your body until it's pooled next to his clothes on the floor. His eyes fall to the black lines wrapping around your shoulders, and he draws his eyes to your collarbones and sternum, his breathing stuttering at the sight of you laid out under him. 

"So much prettier than I imagined." He murmurs as he ducks his head to kiss the valley between your breasts. You smile and run your hands through his curls as he mouths at your chest, leaving red marks in his wake and making you press him closer.

"How many times have you thought about this?" You ask. Has he always wanted you in the way you've wanted him? You're almost positive he has. There's no other way to explain the reverence with which he's looking at you. He's so wrapped up in you it's almost suffocating. Every time you glance at his face, he's staring at you with soft eyes and blown pupils. 

"Lost count." There it is. The confirmation. You grab at his ribs to bring him closer, pulling him over you to kiss him slow and deep. Despite the heat of him against you and the ache between your thighs, you both take the time to savor it. That is until his overthinking takes over. "I didn't bring a condom. Fuck, I was in a rush. I didn't think." He says quickly, like he's waiting for you to back out or push him away. You bring your thumb up to the worried wrinkle between his eyebrows and smooth it away, kissing his jaw.

"You think I would get you all worked up to not be prepared? C'mon, baby," you turn the nickname around on him, and he leans into your hand like a cat. "Top drawer." You say. He scrambles to your bedside table and grabs the first one he can find as you move onto all fours while he's distracted. You listen for the foil ripping and the subtle sound of the latex fitting over him. You can't stop the smirk from forming when he looks up and sees the sight in front of him.

"Fuckin' Hell," he mutters. Your back is arched perfectly, your hair gathered over your shoulder, and the tattoo you got done so many years ago is on display for him. "You are so goddamn perfect." He says as he presses his chest into your back and kisses your shoulder. He plants a few more kisses across your neck and back, making you wait longer than you already have, and just when you think you're going crazy, he slowly pushes into you and punches all the air from your lungs. 

He's big. Bigger than anyone you've been with before, and he seems to know that. He rolls his hips, and you moan, gripping at the sheets under you for stability as you adjust. His breathing is ragged behind you, and he groans when you involuntarily clench around him. "You okay?" He asks, his voice straining. His patience and self-control should be fucking studied. 

"Yeah, I'm okay." You assure him, and he nods. He starts to move slowly at first, but when you start whining and shaking under him, he snaps. You're both impatient. Months of following the rules and caring about what other people could think or say tumble out of your heads as he sets a rough pace. You've been dreaming about this and pushing it away since he walked into your classroom that day, and now that it's happening, you can't hide how desperate you are for him. You cry his name as he fucks into you deeply, no part of your bodies not touching, but it's still not close enough.

"You're so fuckin' good for me, baby. Jesus fuck," he moans into your ear, his uneven breaths echoing into your skull. "You feel so good." 

He sits back and brings you with him, changing the angle and forcing him deeper inside of you as his hand snakes around your waist and dips to play with your clit. You curse loudly and dig your nails into his forearm as bright pleasure courses through your veins. "'M gonna come if you keep doing that," you warn, your voice high and strained as he adds a little more pressure. 

"C'mon, honey, come on my cock for me. Please, I want it." It could be the slight whine in his voice or the fact that he's begging you for it, or the fact that the tight circles he's rubbing into your clit are making you see stars, but you come hard. You rely on him to hold you upright as he fucks you through your high, the slick between your thighs growing as his own orgasm washes over him, and he moans directly in your ear, an unexpected but not unpleasant gift. You think you could get off again just to the sounds he makes when he's coming. 

You stay like that for a second, wrapped up in each other and breathing hard with him still inside you, before he finally finds the courage to slip out of you with only a tiny pained moan. He carefully guides you onto your back, your bones jelly, and kisses your cheek before he pads off to the bathroom to throw away the used condom. 

It's quiet again in the apartment, but it's not lonely anymore. He makes himself at home in your space, asking if he can get water and snacks from your kitchen and walking around naked as the day he was born. "I wanna make sure you've got enough energy for round two." He says, making you laugh.

"Are you finally gonna make good on your promise to take your time with me?" 

"Fuck yeah." He says, coming back to kiss your lips one more time before walking to the kitchen. It's like if he goes a few minutes without tasting you, he can't function, or at least, that's what he makes it seem like. You're more than receptive to the attention and can only watch as he walks around. Your trust in your legs is not strong enough to get up just yet. 

In the domestic silence, it would be easy for your mind to run rampant with rogue thoughts and anxieties, but when Joel returns to the bedroom with snacks, bottles of water, and those stupidly sweet eyes, they get pushed to the back burner. He gets under the covers and pulls you into him, his warm body grounding you to this moment and not letting your thoughts stray. He presses kisses to your hair and your face every so often as you talk about everything and nothing. 

Somehow, it feels natural, like you've been doing this the whole time or like everything was leading up to this. Maybe it was. Still, you'll need to talk about this. You know you will.

Just... not yet.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01

[badomensbaby]

above the law. lrh

pairing: luke hemmings x fem! reader

summary: luke's so sick of his assistant, you, talking all the damn time. he finally does something about it.

warnings: 18+ only. minors DNI. smut, thigh-riding, unprotected sex, verbal degradation, rough bj, slightly dubious consent, office sex, cum-swallowing, cursing.

word count: 4,173

a/n: i wrote this originally back in early 2023 as an au using one of my wattpad original characters. through some editing, i've decided to change the pov and post it here! i hope you enjoy x

feedback and constructive criticism welcome. requests are open!

Copyright © 2024 badomensbaby. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hemmings, get your head out of your ass for once and finish this goddamn deal."

The curly headed blonde's eyes snap away from the project he's currently in the middle of, various folders scattered amongst his desk, drowning him in useless paperwork all for a stupid fucking merger.

"The fuck do you think I'm doing?" Luke grumbles under his breath, snapping the Bolton file shut and tossing his overly expensive fountain pen on top of the mess he's created. Ashton Irwin, one of three named partners, stands with his arms crossed in the doorway of Luke's corner office, an unamused expression on his face.

"I think you're trying to do all this shit on your own instead of utilizing your associate, that's what I think," the honey blonde scoffs, thick brow raising, "Where's Y/N anyway? You send her across town for your stupid coffee again?"

"No," Luke's quick to defend, though it is the easiest way to get you out of his eyesight for a little while and focus, "I've got her on the Mansfield settlement."

"The Mansfield- that's Mike's case, idiot," Ashton shakes his head, "What's the deal, Luke? You really hate Y/N that much?"

A sigh of exhaustion leaves Luke's lips, head cocking back as he stares at the ceiling. "She's just chatty," he says vaguely, "Can't get a single fuckin' thing done 'cause she won't shut up."

"She's your associate, Luke, stop pawning her off on Mike or he'll swipe her out from under you."

"Good," he forces out a low chuckle, meeting the man's eyes, "He can have her."

"Don't say things you don't mean, you know she's one of the best associates we've got." Luke's eyes roll at his boss' words, sitting up straighter in his desk chair.

"Whatever," he mumbles softly, not willing to admit your brain is undeniably better than half the fucking people he's met. "Can I get back to work now?"

A defeated sigh escapes Ash's lips, "If I don't see Y/N in here working with you I'll make sure to send Calum your way."

"Calum?" the curly haired boy's nose wrinkles, shaking his head, "That's like giving me a fucking puppy, Ash, literally useless."

"Your call." he responds, a little smirk on his lips before pulling Luke's office door shut behind him. A groan leaves Luke's throat at this, the urge to rip every last blonde ringlet from his head at the idea of spending the remaining afternoon going over these stupid files with you.

Regardless of the fact that you’re distracting, which he'll never admit aloud, he shoots you a vague text requiring your presence in his office, no more than twenty minutes from now.

And of course, your dainty little wrist began knocking on the dark wooden door of his office precisely twenty-three minutes after he'd sent the text, only fueling his annoyance. A curt "come in" leaves his lips but his eyes remain on the file, instead of the sinful black dress on your curvy frame.

Tasteful and tightly fit, your fingers instinctively tug at the material resting on your mid thigh, a worrisome look on your features. For as long as you can recall, Luke's always teased you about your wardrobe, especially the bright colors and silken skirts.

"You're late," his tone is flat, hand scribbling away at the paperwork he's nearly memorized already, "I swear to god if you say some bullshit about the elevator again-"

Luke's words die in his throat as he lifts his head, eyes landing on the tight fabric on your frame, hugging every fucking dip and curve of your body. You meet eyes, yours widening, worried you’re going to be lectured again. Was your dress too plain, too boring?

The sweetheart neckline alone almost makes Luke lick his lips, stifling the urge to say something far, far more inappropriate to his associate. "Doesn't matter," the blonde rushes out, "We're gonna be here all night. Preorder from Machi's while you're at it."

"Okay," is all you say, walking closer to his desk, the click of your heels echoing Luke's ears as you bend over, just slightly, grabbing his desk phone and beginning to dial.

After nearly four hours and neither had made a miraculous discovery, a whine of agony leaves your throat, sat across the moderately sized office, snapping yet another useless file folder shut. "Luke,"

"What?" he rasps, tearing his eyes away from the file, meeting your eyes, his own filled with annoyance. "Don't tell me you've got nothing, Y/N."

"There's honestly no reason why Bolton should be merging with Daniels," you sigh out, running a hand through your hair, "Seriously, it's like Pampers merging with Microsoft, they have no interest in one another."

"Christ," Luke mutters under his breath, jaw tensing as you continue to ramble useless information, "Do you ever shut up?"

Mid-sentence, your lips snap shut, a warmth spreading across your cheeks. "Sorry," you respond softly, and Luke almost feels bad for being so curt, but god you never close your fucking mouth. "Did you find anything?"

A huff of air leaves Luke's nose, "Maybe," he says, twirling his fountain pen between his fingers, leg bouncing aimlessly as he scans over the documents for the umpteenth time. "But you keep fucking talking and it's throwing me off."

"Sorry."

"Damnit, Y/N," his curls bounce slightly as he shakes his head, rifling a hand through them, glancing over at your position on the small sofa, dress slightly ridden up your smooth thighs. "Come here, let me show you something."

Hesitantly, you toss the file on your lap onto the cushion, standing and making your way over to Luke's desk, oblivious to the fitted material of your dress riding a bit higher than intended. Luke swallows thickly, attempting to keep focus on the file in his hand. As you lean over slightly to see what Luke's underlined, his eyelids fall shut, the smell of your perfume annihilating his senses.

"But that means-" you cut yourself off, lower lip tucked between your teeth, palms flat on the corner of Luke's desk, "This isn't about combining their companies, is it?"

"No," Luke finally says after a moment, slowly blinking his eyes open, "But we need to convince the judge it is."

"That's impossible, Luke, it's clear they're only doing this for-"

"I know, just figure it out, Y/N."

"That'll take all night," you whine softly, "I'm not sleeping in the office two nights in a row." Luke's teeth grit together at your response, frustrated and fed up with your goddamn attitude.

"If you can't do it I'll find someone who can," he cranes his neck to meet your eyes, narrowed and darkened, "You wanna whine about a few more hours be my guest, but you're not doing it here."

"But-"

"Jesus fucking-" he abandons his pen with a thud, rubbing the palms of his hands against his tired eyes, "I seriously have never met someone so goddamn annoying. All you fucking do is whine and complain and talk my fucking ear off," Luke rambles lowly, "You wanted to be an associate, so be a goddamn associate and shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you."

You stand upright, embarrassment washing over your features, attempting to remain composed as tears threaten your eyes. It's not a secret that Luke's always harbored some sort of annoyance toward you, but he's never spoken to you in such a vile manner before. You swallow the thick lump in your throat, fists balled at your sides. How dare he say those things to you?

"You're an asshole," you say, voice wavering slightly, "You're always a dick to everyone. Nobody's ever good enough for you. I wanted to be an associate to learn and do what I love, not be talked to like a child."

"The fuck did you say to me?" Luke counters with a raised brow, ringed fingers slowly rolling up the sleeves of his fitted black dress shirt. "I think you forget who you work for. Not Ashton, not Michael, definitely not Jessica. You work for me, Y/N, and if you want to keep your fucking job I think you owe me a goddamn apology."

Luke's eyes flicker between yours and the hemline of your little black dress, the skin of your thighs soft and tempting as he widens the distance between his legs, splayed open. "Come here," he says, a bit quieter this time, though he's fucking seething internally, he can't deny how fucking hot it is talking down to the you. Hesitantly, you step closer, stomach swirling with uneasiness.

"You don't wanna go through those files? Fine," Luke forces out a low chuckle, "But I've got work to do and I'm not gonna let you get in the way of that. So what you're gonna do is sit right here," he taps on his clothed thigh, "Shut your fucking mouth and make yourself cum on my thigh."

"What-"

"You heard me."

"Luke, I-"

"It wasn't a question, Y/N. And so help me god if you complain or make a fucking sound you're more than welcome to leave."

For the first time, you’re speechless. Standing so close to the man you swear hates you with every fiber of his being, asking you to make yourself cum on his thigh, you can't help the clench of your own thighs at the thought. Sure, you’ve had those kinds of thoughts about the tall blonde, but never did you imagine his request.

"So? What'll it be?" Luke asks impatiently, a thick brow raised as he grabs his pen, clicking it profusely, leaning back in his chair.

Wordlessly, and swallowing your pride, you step closer, slowly lifting your leg over the blonde's thigh, his foot firmly planted on the small rug beneath him. His eyes almost widen, as if he didn't expect you to comply, and he stifles a grunt when your warm center meets the fabric of his slacks. He can feel how fucking wet you are through the thin material of your underwear, your dress sliding a bit further up your thighs, almost exposing yourself to him.

"Alright then," Luke clears his throat, leaning forward slightly to grab the Bolton file, relaxing in his desk chair. "Get to it."

With her heart rattling in her chest, you grasp the armrest of Luke's chair to ground yourself, filled to the brim with shame. Are you really going to do this? You can still back out, you don't need to show Luke how pathetic you are, fucking leaking on his slacks just from his crude words. You don't even register the rock of your hips against his thigh until a soft moan slips from your lips, catching Luke's attention, his eyes briefly flickering to you.

And fuck is it hot. Your eyes slowly flutter shut as your hips roll in slow motions, the friction from the fabric forgotten, sensitive clit throbbing from your movements. Luke's jaw tenses, tearing his eyes away from the tempting sight, his cock twitching in his slacks.

Shame and embarrassment are out the window as you near your first orgasm, the explicit images of things you’ve only dreamt of unfolding behind your eyelids. You can only fucking imagine how Luke's fingers would feel inside you, the things he'd say as he's bottoming out inside of your tight heat. And it's suddenly overwhelming as you clench pathetically, throbbing against his thigh and your own legs shaking as you finish. "Fuck-"

Luke's eyes widen, biting hard at the inside of his cheek to keep his composure, the sound of you falling apart on his thigh sending a jolt straight to his aching cock. He wants nothing more than to bend you over his desk and fuck the daylights out of you until you’re drooling and forgetting your own goddamn name.

Reality comes crashing down as your orgasm passes, ragged breaths leaving your parted lips. Did you really just make yourself cum on your boss' thigh? "Luke-"

"Do it again."

"What?" You ask breathlessly, straightening your back, "You- you want me to do it again?"

"What did I say about shutting that pretty mouth of yours, Y/N? If I tell you to do something, do it," he scoffs, acting as though the sight of you cumming didn't turn him on even more, "If you're pathetic enough to do it once I'm sure you'll have no problem doing it again."

Your sensitive clit throbs helplessly as you swallow, white-knuckling the armrest and rocking your hips yet again. The swollen nub continuously brushing Luke's slacks has you choking down whimpers and whines, fearful of Luke's reaction to you making noise. Though, the idea of what he'll do if you don't comply lingers in your hazy mind.

The intermittent bounce of Luke's leg isn't doing you any favors either, little uh uh's leaving your parted lips.

You’re fucking drenched, the thin fabric of your lace underwear doing nothing to keep your arousal from coating Luke's thigh as you roll and rock your hips a bit quicker, your second orgasm creeping up on you, your head tossing back when a low, drawn-out whine leaves your lips, cumming for the second time like a pathetic whore.

And Luke fucking loves every goddamn second of it.

Attempting to calm yourself down from your release, thighs still trembling, Luke tosses the file onto his desk. He hadn't read a damn word of it anyway, not when you’re grinding your pretty little cunt against his thigh like a slut.

Suddenly embarrassed, your cheeks flush a deep crimson shade as you realize what you’ve done. You’ve soaked the fabric of Luke's slacks with your release, your own goddamn boss. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Don't say another word," he firmly cuts you off, "Get on your fucking knees."

"Why-"

"I'm honestly so fucking tired of listening to you, Y/N," Luke's tone lowers, a scoff leaving his lips, watching as you scramble to the floor. "Gonna shut you up, make good use of that stupid fucking mouth of yours."

Catching sight of the wet patch on his slacks, he nearly groans, ringed fingers fumbling with his belt buckle in record time, desperate for the release of his achingly hard cock. You seem to catch on, widened doey eyes flickering up to Luke's, your hands neatly folded in your lap. Luke pulls his slacks down just enough to allow his length to be exposed, not wanting to show an ounce of vulnerability to you. You don't deserve a sweet intimate moment, you deserve to be fucking ruined.

"Open your mouth," he grunts, hissing as he grasps the base of his cock, your lips parting slowly, the blonde stepping forward and guiding the tip past your lips. "Wanna see you choke on my cock."

He doesn't give you a moment to register his words before he's thrusting fully into your mouth, tip poking the back of your throat and a choking sound emitting from your lips. You scramble to grasp at the backs of his thighs to keep yourself steady. The sight of your sparkly lipgloss coating his cock is so fucking intoxicating and he wonders why he hadn't thought of it sooner.

Using his hands to grasp your hair quite roughly, he continues to fuck into your mouth at a degrading pace, not allowing you to adjust to the forceful movements. Choking and gagging sounds fill the otherwise quiet room, spit dribbling from your lips. "Yeah, you like choking on my cock, Y/N? So much better than hearing you fuckin' talk."

Your nails dig into the fabric of his pants, a grunt leaving Luke's lips as his hips continue thrusting his cock into your mouth. You can barely take all of him, the base nearly untouched. "All you're fuckin' good for, hm?"

And suddenly he's removing himself from your mouth, chest heaving from how fucking wrecked you already look, the small tears pooling your waterline smudging the mascara you'd put on. "As much as I wanna watch you swallow for me," he heaves out, "I wanna feel that pretty fuckin' pussy of yours."

A pathetic whimper leaves your lips, clenching around nothing as you remain on your knees before him, a string of saliva connecting your swollen lips and the reddened, aching tip of Luke's cock. "You want me inside you?" he asks.

You have no words, honestly, the burn left behind in your throat from Luke's forceful thrusts halts you from speaking. Instead, you nod. "No, I want to hear you fuckin' say it, Y/N. I'm not an asshole."

"Yes," you weakly respond, "I want you."

"Good. Take that fuckin' dress off while you're at it."

Your shaky and frail fingers grasp the hemline of your dress hesitantly, eyes flickering between his leaking cock and his firm gaze, pulling the fitted material over your head and tossing it aside. Now sat in nothing but a pair of soaked, white lace panties and your heels, Luke's eyes fall on your bare breasts. "So fuckin' pretty."

"Luke-" you whimper quietly.

"Shut up," his hands reach beneath your arms, pulling you to your feet. Luke reaches around you, large hand swiping the array of documents off of his desk, sending them to the floor with a thud. You release a soft gasp when your bare backside meets the cool wooden desk, "Can't say I've never thought about this."

Luke's hands fall to your hips, gripping the skin roughly, and guiding you down until your back is flush with the desk, legs spread pathetically, displaying your clothed core to him. "God, you're so fucking soaked it's pathetic," he laughs lowly, shaking his head, and trailing a finger along the dampened material, coated in your previous orgasms and current arousal. He sends a soft smack with the back of his hand to your swollen clit, causing a whimper to leave your lips. "You'll let me have you any way I want, huh?"

"Luke-"

"Don't talk, I already know the answer," he raises your legs so your heels are resting on the edge of the desk, fingers ghosting the inside of your thighs teasingly, "Because here you are, spread out on my fucking desk like the whore you are."

"Please-"

"God, you just can't listen, huh?" his hands retreat from your skin, fumbling with his necktie, folding it into a neat little square. "I said I don't wanna hear you, Y/N." leaning over you, the tip of his cock pressing against your clothed core, he forces the folded tie between your lips, gagging you. "There, much better."

Luke works quickly to pull the pathetic excuse for underwear down your legs, tossing them alongside your dress on the floor. His cock twitches at the sight of you, fucking glistening and leaking just for him. He trails two fingers up your wetness, slicking his cock with your arousal, and prodding the tip against you. "Look at me," he says, hovering over you, hands on either side of your head. Hesitantly, you meet his eyes, your own widening, "Wanna watch you take my fucking cock."

You look so fucking pretty all gagged up for him. Running his tongue along his lower lip, he roughly juts his hips forward, instantly bottoming out and a muffled scream leaves your lips at the stretch. The tears that brimmed your eyes previously begin to fall, feeling so full, "Fuck," he hums lowly.

He rocks his hips a few times, watching as your eyes practically roll back into your head. And god does that make him so fucking proud, staring at you as drool slowly dribbles from yourr lips. He halts, roughly tugging the tie from your mouth, fingers gathering the spit and shoving it between your lips. "Don't be messy," he tuts, before placing the tie back, "Already fuckin' droolin' like a whore and I'm barely getting started."

Luke retracts his cock, hands grasping at your hips and flipping your body, the sound of your stomach colliding with the wooden desk echoing through the room. "I don't wanna look at you," he says, palming the skin of your backside before smacking the smooth flesh. He realigns himself with your entrance, one hand splayed on your bare back to hold you in place.

Roughly thrusting inside once again, the moans and muffled choked sobs barely reach Luke's ears, too fucking entranced by the feeling of your tight little cunt taking him so well. "This," he rocks his hips forcefully, "Is fuckin' mine. Anytime I goddamn want it, you're gonna give it to me."

You scramble to grab the opposite edge of Luke's desk, white knuckling it as he forcefully pounds into you, so fucking deep and quick you can barely breathe. "Such a tight fuckin' cunt," he groans, fingernails scraping along your back, "Taking my cock like a good fuckin' slut."

Instinctively you clench around him, eliciting a deep borderline growl from Luke's throat, hand previously raking down your back finding your hair, fisting the strands between his fingers and yanking you backwards until you’re halfway to his chest. You rest your palms flat on the desk, eyes pinched shut in pleasure while he continues fucking into you at an unruly pace.

"Clench again for me," he moans out, feeling the muscles in his stomach tighten, his orgasm slowly beginning to build. You comply, your thighs trembling, clenching as hard as you can. "Fuckin' god," Luke tosses his head back, eyelids fluttering shut in pure bliss.

You choke out another moan around the tie in your mouth, unable to warn the blonde of your third orgasm that's quickly approaching as he continuously pokes the perfect spot so fucking deep inside you’re nearly a drooling mess. The hand not entangled in your hair grips one of your breasts roughly, sending you over the edge in a series of muffled cries. Tears stream down your cheeks, cunt tightening around Luke yet again, the blonde hissing as he feels your release coat his cock, the slick sound of his thrusts growing louder.

"Fuckin' milkin' my cock like a whore," he spits out, grip tightening on your hair as he pulls you closer, thrusting into you impossibly harder. You can't fucking think, you’re a dizzy mess and can hardly form a thought. You can't even feel the drool pooling from the edges of your lips. "Gonna fill up that sweet little cunt of yours and make you mine."

Luke pulls you flush to his chest, your head lolling against his shoulder. Though he isn't one for kissing, he doesn't hesitate to graze his teeth against your exposed neck, sinking them into the supple flesh as his hips begin to stutter, groaning against your neck as he releases inside. You wince at the rough bite on your neck but you’re too spent to care, leaning fully against him as he rocks through his orgasm.

You’re in a daze when he pulls out of you, nearly falling against the desk, the blonde quickly reaching for you to keep you upright. Though he's smug and feeling overly satisfied for ruining you, a swirl in his stomach tells him he needs to make sure you’re alright. He pulls the tie from your mouth, not commenting on the drool spilled from your lips. "Y'okay?"

You can't fucking speak.

Luke's brows furrow with worry, hand delicately grasping your jaw and searching your hazy eyes. Pupils blown out just like his, fresh tears lingering on your cheeks. "Oh, baby," the pet name falls from his lips effortlessly, "C'mon."

Tucking his softening cock into his pants and guiding you away from his desk and towards the couch, he plucks your heels from your feet. Though he'd never in a million years consider aftercare, he's stripping his button down from his broadened frame and slipping your arms inside, buttoning it to cover your exposed body. "Luke," you toss your head back onto the plush couch.

"Hm?" he hums softly.

"I need to- need to clean up," you rasp quietly, a hint of a blush on your cheeks, head reeling from the soreness between your thighs.

"That's what m'here for," he coos sweetly, though the smirk of his lips has you swallowing thickly. His ringed hands trail along your warm and flushed skin, parting your trembling thighs, the sight of his release slowly dribbling out of your sweet cunt nearly has his cock stiffening in his slacks again. "Mm, such a pretty wrecked little pussy."

A gasp leaves your lips as he leans forward, nose brushing your lower stomach, tongue gathering his cum from your sensitive folds. Lapping up every fucking drop, Luke straightens himself out, reaching a hand towards your swollen lips and parting them with his thumb. You’re beyond confused as he tightly grips your jaw, before spitting the contents into your own mouth. Swiping any remnants from his own lips, he narrows his eyes. "Fuckin' swallow."

Clasping your pretty lips shut, you comply, feeling a stir in your stomach when your eyes meet, and swallow.

"My good fuckin' girl."

[smokeypeaches-and-honeyplums]

First i just wanna say your headcanons are seriously top notch, excellent work 👌. Ok now onto the actual request, could you do the NSFW alphaber for Macaque like you did for Redson? Don't forget to have a lovely day. 💙

What a way for me to return lmao. Thank you for the compliment, I tend to get self conscious about my writing.

You've heard it all before. Sorry for being inactive, I'm coming back, especially with the new specials coming out. I have more time on my hands. Gonna go through the box until I can start accepting again.

Edit post-s5: all is hell and I just need to cope atp what the FUCK was that season/pos

Reader is Gender-Neutral by default!

// NSFW!! MINORS DNI //

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I like to imagine Macaque is very cuddly for aftercare. Tapping into his primal side, he's more possessive and protective. So, he holds onto you, petting you as he whispers in your ear, helping you down from subspace if he has to (or domspace if you topped).

Given he has portals, shadow travel and clones, he can get all your needs met without leaving you. So, you get cuddles AND resources provided. The perfect aftercare.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Macaque honestly doesn't like much about himself. He can talk the talk, looking as if he has a healthy or overbearing ego, but get him alone for long enough? He'll be second guessing how he even blinks

Exaggerating, of course

Point is, there's not much. A lot of it has been marred as well, so it makes it worse. Though, he's come to love his face. With or without the glamour, you've gotten this far with him and loved him through his roughest time. And it's one of the things you seemed to fall for

Besides, he's gotta admit, he does look a bit on the good side.

On you though, if you're Masc leaning, he loves your arms. Shows your strength and capabilities, and their nice to look at. It feels nice to be vulnerable in them

If you're Fem leaning, he'll admit, he's a bit of an ass guy. Ass and thighs, specifically. Their nice to lay on. And they also feel so nice between his fingers, against his hips...

Ahem.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Leaning into that more primal side, Macaque likes to mark you now and then. He isn't very fond of making messes, borderline germaphobe if you asked me, but there's a part of him that likes to make a mess out of you specifically, in such a way no one else could, in such an intimate setting

It gives him a sense of control and possession of something intimate he's honestly been lacking for... however long its been honestly

However, if you make big messes/are a squirter, he's eating that shit up, figuratively and literally

It's like ambrosia on his tongue

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Believe it or not? Macaque doesn't really have a dirty secret. None he would consider one, anyways.

But, a secret at ALL would be how Macaque really wants to be cherished. He DOES want to give up control to a degree, he's just scared of getting hurt again. You can only do so much to heal his soul, so when he DOES bottom, CHERISH it. He doesn't do it easy

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Can I say no? Not really?

Okay, well, not completely, but he's a quick learner

Macaque has been dead for however long it's been. And in that time, he definitely kept to himself A LOT. Hard to make connections when you're supposed to be, ya know, DEAD. So he didn't pick up much. But he did pick up SOMETHING

But, he's a quick learner. So don't worry too much. He does ask that you tell him if he's doing something wrong though, he doesn't wanna hurt you

That's the last thing he wants to do

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, in contrast to Redson, Macaque hates any position where you can see his face in turn. Sure, he loves to see yours, but contrary to popular belief, he HATES how he looks.

He knows how to fake it til he makes it, so that confidence is very exaggerated

But hey, at least he still gets to have a good show as he has his way with you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He'll pop a joke now and again, don't get me wrong. Macaque isn't AS much of a hardass about it in comparison to how Redson would be about the moment. Though he doesn't want it completely ruined

He won't hesitate to make you laugh though. Especially if it helps ease tension

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's a monkey. Hair goes crazy

Macaque never thought to really groom down there. I mean, why would he? He never expected to get to this point with anyone again.

So no, he's not really "well groomed," so I hope you don't mind fur in your mouth if you go to town on him in either regard on either side

He does develop a habit to get better groomed though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Macaque is very intimate. He cherishes this, cherishes YOU. You mean so, so much. You've gotten this far with him, so he treasures you and whenever you guys get down and dirty, he does it with the intention of love making.

No primal urges

No biting (unless you want to, that is)

Just pure and utter devotion.

Maybe it's because it's all he's known, but it's how he shows his love to you. Praise and devotion.

uh- where were we again?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Macaque only really starts to masturbate proper when he gets in a relationship with you and start to get intimate (or just, getting intimate in general if you're just fwb)

Don't get me wrong! It's not like he HASN'T touched himself before. He's a demon at the end of the day, urges happen

It just increased in frequency when he got tangled up with you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Honestly? BDSM. Especially Bondage. Bondage specifically on you, though. For... obvious and not so obvious reasons

Roleplay! He's an actor, he's dramatic, he's a theater kid. He's gotta put it somewhere, right?

He's very partial to oral and might even have an Asphyxiation kink, in regard to both of you. Especially you though. And, in moderation so neither of you get hurt

Likes to use his clones on you now and again. It's fun to see

Would you believe me if I said he has a slight Exhibition kink? Listen to my vision-

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As far away from FFM as possible /hj

Macaque prefers it to be somewhere he can have you to himself. In the future, or some point in time, he could entertain the idea of sharing. Maybe. But until then, no one gets to see the faces you make.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Macaque is a simple man/demon. Anything on average to get ANYONE going would get him going

Show a bit of skin in the right places, curve a certain way, bend over in front of him

He's a simple man/demon. He's allowed to give in to his vices when he's tempted by the likes of you

If you're Masc leaning, he'll start to get going just from seeing your arms and muscles flex, even if you're doing something simple. He folds easy

If you're Fem leaning, anything that shows off your ass and/or thighs has him weak in the knees and absolutely unable to keep his hands to himself. He folds easy²

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Macaque absolutely REFUSES to be bound. He'll entertain the idea of holding himself back, but he REFUSES to have his legs and arms bound. For, again, obvious and not-so obvious reasons

Macaque REFUSES to hurt you in any way beyond the asphyxiation. He regards you in such a high light, that he refuses to purposefully hurt you. It'd destroy him, no matter how much you would tell him its okay, no matter the context. So no knifeplay, bloodplay, or anything of that sort.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Macaque's asphyxiation kink purely stems from oral, I am gonna be honest

He'dchokeonthestrap

He prefers to give than to receive, but if offered, he'll DEFINITELY take the chance. You didn't hear that from me though

He also likes the praise he gets from it too, but again, didn't hear that from me

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If you couldn't tell from how much I say it, Macaque revels in you as a whole, so he likes to take it slow.

He tends to take things slow, no matter what it is, so you better best believe that he is taking his time with you. He'll squeeze in some teasing too to make you feel good

He wants to savour you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Just because Macaque wants to savour you, doesn't mean he can't also have appetizers now and again

He'll have a quickie now and again, but don't be surprised if he asks for more. But it's also not impossible for it to be enough for him, so if he needs to get off, he'll settle

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If you can't tell, the answer is No. For most things

Macaque is still willing to experiment, don't get me wrong, but he has very set boundaries for what area he'll be willing to experiment with and what he won't.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Look at him. Look at him and tell me you don't think he wouldn't be able to LAST.

Macaque's capable of a lot of things in and out of combat, so he definitely has the Stamina to last. Honestly, I have a general headcanon that demons, especially more powerful ones, have tons of stamina.

Have fun walking if you teased him :D

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys are a possibility. Macaque doesn't own em, so you'd have to bring them into the fray first.

Tease him though, and watch him melt in your hands when you get him to bottom. He makes the sweetest sounds

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Macaque's only unfair if you're unfair. And he'll always return the favor tenfold, no matter how badly you teased him. It's only fair, right? And besides, it's not like he's the only one that makes such sweet sounds

But trust, if Macaque starts teasing, you're in for a LONG night

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Macaque has sensitive hearing, if you couldn't tell, but that makes it all the better to him

He loves to growl in your ear if he tops, hear his pants and moans as he makes both of you feel good, hitting that spot you told him felt so good that one time, feeling you cling to him

And when he bottoms? He goes the full fucking MILE

Macaque is LOUD when he bottoms. If he's being this vulnerable, he might as well go all out. So he WHINES, he CRIES and by the great sage, does he MOAN.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Macaque's a dom-leaning switch, if you couldn't tell by now from what I've been implying, only bottoming once he's comfortable enough to and with his initiation the first go around

Also, whenever he teases, I like to imagine he likes to use his shadow abilities for various ideas (with your approval, of course). This includes Bondage, his clones, transformation. I mean, shit, sky's the limit

I also like to think he's not very good with the usual things at first. Things like dirty talk, foreplay, stuff like that. He will ask for guidance. He doesn't wanna fuck it up with you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I can FINALLY talk about it

Macaque's not some "well-endowed" sex master, so he's not gonna be packing some star-seeing dick either. Well, he could, when he knows how to use it

The guy's above average, at 7.1 inches and 5 in. in width lacking in curvature. He's never thought anything of it, since he never needed to use it often

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Demons have a naturally high libido, and Macaque is no different.

Same as I said with Redson, Macaque isn't some raging, horny demon just because of the type of demon he is. He can be primal, but he has control over it

Entertain it though...

Have mercy on your legs

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once Macaque finishes for the night (or, however long,) he can be seen almost passing out. He'll make sure you're fine, hence why he kinda leans on his clones to care for you while he cuddles into you, but he kinda crashes out once he's officially spent. A bad habit of his

[almightygremlinblob]

In Every Life (AFAB Ver.)

In which Sukuna falls in love with the Reader without realizing it.

Word Count: 5, 283 of slow burn. ⚠️Content Warnings⚠️: Not Beta Read, True Form Sukuna, Heian Era, Sukuna fluff, soft Sukuna, mentioned cannibalism, slight angst, Sunshine AMAB!Reader but gender neutral expressions used, Reader is not a sorcerer and is implied to be the only non-sorcerer of her village. Minors and ppl not okay with anything sexual pls DNI and have a nice day 👍🏽 AMAB!Reader (with gender-neutral pronouns) here

⚠️Further Content Warnings⚠️: Virgin!Sukuna, Sub!Sukuna, Reader and Sukuna both switch from gentle doms to subs, soft & fluffy sex, very messy sex, size difference, Reader makes out with the tummy mouth, squirting, lots of cum, cock worship, lots of fluids in general, belly bulge, lots of mouths, consensual blood drinking, this is getting worse the more I write lmao. THIS IS NOT BETA'D and I am very tired while editing this. SO! If you spot any mistakes, esp. with the body parts of Reader lmao (since I made two of these), pls tell me!

You were happy you managed to catch the attention of the King of Curses.

Sure, you didn't exactly know how you did it. You weren't strong, or exceptionally beautiful like the sons and daughters offered to him. You weren't even that smart!

You were clueless, as a matter of fact!

So clueless that, nearly a month ago, you gave the strange looking man with four arms a warm meal and a place to stay for the night - since it didn't seem like the storm would let up any time soon. He was pretty much shunned by the rest of the village upon his arrival…probably due to the overwhelming energy that sent people into fight or flight…but he was just born different!

Probably.

"What's your name, Mister?"

"…"

You quickly learned that he didn't speak much, and he does not like to be looked at. Only watching as you go about your day - trying your best to navigate through the judgement and, frankly, abuse of the other villagers; ever as judgemental about you as they were likely to talk down on you, spread rumors and try to take advantage of your endless kindness. Not that it worked, though - and for that, everyone pretty much hated you. Despite his silence, your visitor was the only one that seemed to regard you without any ounce of hatred.

Then, one day…

"Why do you entertain them?"

"Ah!" You visibly jumped at that moment - up until now you were certain he couldn't speak. His voice was lovely baritone, but held a quiet authority - much like him…and a very clear evil but you wouldn't dwell too much on that. "M-me? Oh…of course, me…"

"U-um…I'm not entirely sure, actually. I don't like them, b-but…" Those sharp, piercing eyes are distant, scanning the forest as you tried to think of a reason. "I-I guess they're my neighbors. Friends? No. But it wouldn't be right to just outright ignore them."

"Hmph, of course…" He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. "You people and your morals…"

"Do you not have friends?"

"No."

"Oh…" Your shoulders slump slightly. "Then, consider me your first friend!"

"No."

"Oh…"

When you visibly deflate, he laughs lightly, shaking his head as if he's heard something utterly ridiculous. "Why does that bother you? You hardly know me. I could be a mass murderer for all you know."

"Because you…you're…" You think for a while, before finding the right words. "One of the most unique people I've ever had the blessing of meeting."

His eyes finally land on you. "Blessing, huh?"

------

Eventually, the villagers turned violent towards you and your guest, but you did your best to keep him safe - urging him to leave, quickly. It was that day, when you were nearly beaten to death, that you learned the strange man's name.

"Die, you peasant!" There was something in the way these villagers attacked. A strange energy that made it hurt all the more. You were bloodied, bruised and beaten to the point you couldn't even find the strength to scream. A blade was pointed to your throat. "Any last words?"

Despite yourself, you manage to spit at him.

"I didn't think you had it in you." That familiar low voice, low and uninterested, sounds from behind you both. Then, before your very eyes, everyone was somehow cut to pieces. No screams, or cries…just the sounds of flesh and bone being cut apart. You were probably hallucinating...

You see your guest walk beside you - the gore, guts and limbs not affecting him in the slightest.

"Ah, you're okay…" His eyes land on you again. "B-be careful…t-there's an invisible…invisible something that's cutting people up…"

He scoffs. "And if I told you that was me?"

"What."

"Tsk." He promptly grabs you and, without you even realizing, your wounds begin healing, closing up, and suddenly you're more aware than you were a while ago. Then, with the flick of his wrist, the bodies get further chopped apart. The gears in your head start to turn and your eyes widen. "O-oh…"

"Go on, then. Go ahead." He grabs your face, forcing you to look at the disembodied people and the growing river of blood. "Run."

"No. No…" Your breathing steadies, and you relax into his hold. He must sense it with the way his whole body tenses for a moment. "Not from you."

In the silence, you can practically hear him thinking as he gets up. And when he made no move, you realized he was waiting for you. So you got up too, wordlessly, and began to follow him. After a while of silence, he graces you with his voice again - quiet, almost…soft.

"My name is irrelevant…but people call me Sukuna Ryomen, the King of Curses."

------

And that was the start of your new life, as a servant of the King of Curses.

It…wasn't so bad! Sure, you could be killed any day, like a few of the other servants and many of the courtesans, but you also didn't do much! And, best of all, no more of those abusive neighbors! Your days were mainly spent helping the head servant - the attractive one with white hair and a pink splotch - do things for the king, for only up to four hours. Four hours! Then you'd spend the rest of the day doing whatever!

This was not one of those days, however.

Today, you were cleaning the Lord's study, in his chambers, along with the attractive head servant. There were...a strangely high number of Dokudami paintings...

"The Lord seems to have an obsession with this herb. Does he like it?"

"That's an interesting observation. Though you're mistaken. It's more the symbolism of this plant."

"And…that would be?"

"Its flowers are delicate, pure. The plant itself is medicinal against many illnesses - it's endlessly helpful. Kind. But it grows everywhere, even in the places not many grow. A surprising resilience despite it's 'delicate' nature." The head servant explains, and you can hear the tinge of amusement in their voice. "Remind you of anyone?"

"Uh…no? No one comes to mind…"

They simply snort at that.

------

The first time you were called to his chambers, you thought you were going to die. Actually, everyone thought you were going to die. They were all giddy at the thought. You didn't expect to just sit there in silence while he practiced his calligraphy.

"I can hear you thinking. Speak."

You fidget around a little, before getting the words out. "I've always been meaning to ask…why…why me, my Lord?"

He clicks his tongue. "You dare question my choices?"

"N-no! Only…I'm curious."

Sukuna is silent for a while, hand perfectly still as he thinks, before eventually speaking.

"You calm me." He sighs as his brush continues to move. "Somehow, every time, you calm me."

------

The courtesans could see you from outside, and you could practically feel them glaring daggers at you - endlessly furious and envious that you could be that close to the Lord.

"My Lord, you…never seem to show interest in your courtesans. Have they, I mean…" You weren't sure how to word it without coming off as too brash.

"Of course they try to bed me. They always do. Don't even try to hide that they're doing it to gain a semblance of power in my estate. The last two were just…" He waves his hand dismissively, tone making it abundantly clear he wasn't happy with the memory. "Had her head cut off and the second had his limbs strewn on the floor."

You feel his gaze on you, scowl evident in even his voice. "Why do you ask me about this?"

"It's just…you have so many, I thought, well..."

"Tsk. They only want something from me, and they think they can take it freely. From me. Me!"

"Surely not ALL of them…" You fidget a little. "Why would you keep them around if that was? There's…there's so many…"

You can practically hear his smirk. "Because their organs taste GREAT sautéed."

"A-ah…"

He snorts, seeing your discomfort. "Are you afraid of becoming like them?"

"I…hm…" You look up in thought. "Perhaps…"

He lets out a soft laugh. "Then you truly are a fool."

"But…I think, it would be a good sacrifice." You finish the last area, as he goes awfully quiet. "Like an offering to a god. I think…I think I wouldn't mind that."

His presence is more than clear behind you, strong and foreboding. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Liar. Everyone says that…" He scoffs. "…but, nobody means it. If given the chance…"

You hear a sound, sharp and strong, much like a blade. A pain blooms from your wrist, and you realize you're bleeding lightly - only a few drops of blood at a time. "They all run."

"No. I wish to stay by your side, my Lord. I have nowhere I'd rather be." When you relax and make no move to run, a big and warm hand engulfs yours.

"You…weren't lying." You feel lips against the wound on your outer wrist, and the swipe of a tongue against it before the wound starts to close. "You fool…"

------

Many in the estate didn't like you, jealous of how close you were to the Lord - but it wasn't everyone. Now, it was everyone. Rumors fueling jealousy and malice for the very obvious favoritism.

Taking little nibbles, you didn't want to take more than your share.

The food was beyond AMAZING. However, Sukuna simply scowls as you shyly keep your head bowed and you must feel his gaze harden by the way you flinch under it.

"I apologize. I just…don't want to take more than my share…"

"Do you mean to insult me? This entire meal is yours." He scoffs, grabbing your bowl. He grabs one of the sushi rolls and puts it against your mouth, which is still closed due to your surprise. "Eat. I won't accept this…whatever it is you're doing."

"O-oh, I-…thank you, my Lord." You open your mouth and allow him to feed you. Light blush forming from how good the food is. Yes, that was definitely why. "My compliments to the chef. This is beyond delicious, my Lord…"

And it was true, the sushi, the miso soup, selection of meats, everything tasted DIVINE.

"Compliments taken."

WAIT-

You nearly choke on your food. "I-I apologize…my Lord. I, you…for me???"

"Use your words."

"I mean, ah…" You shake your head, trying to recover from your mind going into overdrive. "You…made this for me?"

"Yes." He says it so plainly.

"What…what for?"

He doesn't answer and, for once, looks unsure. "I…I don't know."

------

When you came out of his chambers unscathed the second time, everyone - except for Lord Sukuna himself and his servant - went into a frenzy. The servants were appalled, the courtesans were fuming, and you made sure to steer clear of everyone who now seemed to loathe you. And, soon enough, all your duties were either with the head servant, with Lord Sukuna, or by yourself. Still, you didn't feel safe in the estate anymore.

Then, one night, the head servant came to your quarters, stating that "Lord Sukuna has requested I take you to his chambers."

If you weren't going to die physically, you would die of embarrassment.

Still, you followed the white haired servant to his chambers, entire form trembling as you nearly stumbled over yourself. Sukuna glances you once over, and can't help the snort that escapes his lips. You looked like a newly born fawn with how shaky your legs were.

"My sincerest apologies. I just…nervous…"

"That much is clear. Sit." Something is off and you can tell he's tense. "This probably isn't going to go how you're expecting."

You do as he says, sitting seiza in front of him. Something sharp is pointed to your throat, right where the artery is. Your eyes go wide, but after a little bit, you allow your entire body to relax. If you should die by anyone's hand, it would be his.

"Look at me." He commands and you look up, seeing him holding a spear of sorts. For the first time, you see him - truly see him. His form beautiful, terrifying and divine all at once. Your eyes and body must show your adoration, because he looks away - as if uncomfortable.

He shuts his eyes, and the spear is repeatedly pushed against your neck, as if trying. However, it never follows through. This was so easy for him, and yet…

"My Lord, if I should die today, it would be the greatest honor for it to be by your hand." Your body relaxes, eyes close and you lean into the blade of the spear. Sukuna tenses, and you feel it in his hold. "If it's by your hand, my Lord, I can only die happy."

"Yes. That much you've made clear." You hear him sigh, tired and defeated, as the spear drops to the floor. "To think this is how I'd lose…how pathetic…"

"M…my Lord?"

"Leave."

You see him, frustrated and defeated, and it makes your heart ache to see him like this. Without even realizing it, your hand reaches out and stops just before touching him. "Might I stay for you? Please, I only want…"

His glare nearly has you frozen. "THIS is how you want to celebrate a victory over me?"

"No, my Lord. I only wish to stay by your side and help how I can."

He's quiet, clearly upset. "Do what you will with me. I might as well be worthless like this anyway."

"Never to me, Lord Sukuna." You take his hand in both of yours, and bring your lips to his knuckles but he quickly pulls his hand away.

"What?!" He snarls. "What use is your loyalty to someone like me now?"

"You are my Lord, Sukuna. I serve you…" Your eyes meet his, full of longing and concern. "Anything I can do to help you, please let me…"

His eyes briefly glance at your quivering lips, leaning in without realizing before he turns away with a click of his tongue.

"Leave."

And you do as you are told.

------

"How is Lord Sukuna?"

Was one of the most frequent questions you'd pester the head servant's ears with. They roll their eyes. "He's not frail, you know. You don't need to worry about him like a mother hen."

"I just…it's been a week since I've seen him! If he doesn't want to see me, that's fine, but…I-I'd at least like to know if he's okay…" You sigh. "And what I did wrong…so I can avoid doing it again!"

"Just give him time to process." The head servant states nonchalantly. "This is new territory for him."

------

The silence was…

Awkward, to say the least.

Not a word uttered as he continued to paint those stupid edible weeds in the candle-light. It was already late…

"A-ahem." Your voice breaks slightly when you clear your throat, and you feel his gaze on you. "M-my Lord, if there's nothing else, I shall retire for the night."

"Stay."

What.

"Don't make me repeat myself." Clearly your reaction was evident in your body, and you choke on your words before they even get out.

"That night was my first defeat." He says, as if sensing your question, yet you hear a tired and heavy sigh. "As of now, it's been my only one."

"But…have you been okay, my Lord?"

"Always about me, hm?" He scoffs, and there's tension as his footsteps grow closer. Your eyes meet his, beautiful and terrifying, when his fingers gently tug your chin up - guiding you to look at him. Guiding your body to the mattress as he cages you underneath him. "And why not just claim your victory? I have no right to complain. Isn't that what you meant to do the night you defeated me?"

"What? No! My, Lord, no! I-I'm sorry. It wasn't-I didn't mean-It's not what you think! I could never-" Your hands cover your mouth - shocked at the implication. "Oh Lord Sukuna, I bow to you! Only you! I-I will never, could never, force something like that on you! Not then. Not now…"

"Good. This was getting overwhelming." He sighs and then promptly rolls off you, plopping down to your side. Though your skins were still touching and, for once, Sukuna didn't mind someone this close to him in this way. He was relaxed, as if his worries melted away. You couldn't help the smile that grew. This was the Lord you know - a walking death and calamity, now pacified. You both face each other and he can't help but look away, cracking under the weight of your loving gaze - full of adoration, concern and awe.

Weak.

He was weak.

"Lord Sukuna, may I?" Your hand reaches out to him, stopping just before reaching the wooden part of his face. He was so terribly beautiful.

"Do as you wish." He mumbles, and you gently hold him - even though he doesn't show it, you can feel him tense.

"My Lord, what's wrong?" There it is again, the weight that makes him feel like he's breaking without being broken. "I know you don't need it, but I only wish to help in any way I can…"

His mouth opens and closes several times before he's able to finally find the worse. "You've broken me. Made me weak…and I can't even curse you, or wish we'd never met because I'd be lying."

You chuckle. "My Lord is far from weak."

"Yet I am powerless against you." His four eyes bore into you, in them a mix of desperation and longing, as you gently stroke the wooden part of his face. Finally, he closes his eyes, relaxing against you. "And I never thought defeat could feel like this…"

"Is it pleasant, my Lord?"

"It is…" You feel his fingers tracing along your collarbone, up to your jawline and you feel something wet licking your skin as his hand rests on your throat. A mouth on his hand, gently licking and suckling on the sensitive parts of your neck. "…but only if it's you."

"Lord Sukuna…" Despite everything, you feel he's still tense. "You're tense. Would you like me to…?"

"Yes. I meant to bed you tonight, but this…it's…" He sighs. "Overwhelming. I'm not clueless, but something about you makes it all…too much…"

"Then let me lead, my Lord." You gently push him down, and he lets you - following you as you guide him. His hand takes hold of your chin, pulling you in so your lips meet his. His kiss was tentative and unsure, or perhaps more accurately, scared. Scared of every feeling that threatened to overthrow him. You eagerly massaged your lips against his nonetheless. "Please…allow me to worship you tonight, Lord Sukuna."

His breaths become heavier when you straddle him, gently undoing his kimono while he easily rips your clothes to shreds with a flick of a wrist. Your lips mark his skin gently. Moving down to worship his mouth, jaw, his shoulders, both chests and finally to the mouth on his stomach - who was breathing just as heavy. Sukuna tenses when you take his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it and explore the much bigger one with your smaller tongue.

When you pull away, there's a small pool of saliva where the stomach mouth lay open and plenty on you where the mouth-hands had left their marks on your skin. Both his cocks, beautiful, heavy and fat, sat on his stomach where they were already leaking with arousal. Sukuna's breathing turned heavy, and as your hands move to his waist, stopping just before doing anything, you look up at him. "My Lord, if at any time you wish for me to stop, please say so. I will stop without hesitation or question."

"Always about me…" He chuckles and, in a sudden movement, easily manhandles you so your dripping cunt is on his stomach-mouth. "No, I do not wish to stop. But if you truly ask for nothing in return, then let me be gracious."

"M-my Lord, ah-" Your eyes roll back when you feel that giant tongue lapping at your juices, the both of you moaning as he did so.

"Delicious…" Fingers find their way to your clit, rubbing circles as a mouth sucks hickeys on your skin and your chest - finding the sensitive nubs and harshly tugging. You hear a noise that's half way between a whimper and a moan. "…everything about you…so delicious…"

"That's it, my Lord. I'm yours tonight…" You sigh, mind in bliss as your hands find his cocks. He bucks his hips when you begin to stroke him - slowly, before building to a steady pace. His cocks were thick and fat, heavy and veiny and monstrously beautiful in all the ways that had you nervous to take him. They throbbed eagerly, dare you say even aching for your touch. Bowing down, you take one of his tips into your mouth, careful not to let your teeth get in the way. The way his tip had pulsed and the amount of arousal you had to swallow down, had you moaning and whining happily as you swallowed his cock. Amidst the low growling of his stomach mouth, you hear a noise that's halfway between a whimper and a moan, and feel him buck his hips into your mouth as you lick and suck on him eagerly - tongue, lips and hands feverishly worshipping Sukuna's heavy, monstrous lengths.

The tongue begins to enter you, and you nearly cum on the spot - nearly choking on his cock. Slowly, it reaches deep, deep enough to hit that spot that has you seeing stars - forming a light bulge on your stomach with how big it is. When you continue to moan, Sukuna's hips move on their own - tip fucking your mouth while you drool and stroke him.

You both get lost in pleasure. His large tongue tastes and moves eagerly inside you, practically assaulting that sweet spot as the stomach mouth continues to growl and whine and drool; while you eagerly suck on and stroke his twitching and throbbing lengths. A guttural moan escapes Sukuna's throat when he releases into your greedy mouth, and you do your best to swallow everything he has to offer while his other cock paints you in white. Drool, precum and his seed still leak out your mouth, though - and you quickly find it's too much.

Before you can stop yourself, your cunt clamps down on the large tongue inside you and your body goes tense as you reach your own orgasm. Fluids leak out of your greedy cunt as you squirt on his tongue, which continues to move inside of you well past your high.

His tip leaves your mouth with a sloppy and wet pop and with a groan, the large tongue takes one final lick at your overstimulated insides before it retracts back. You both are breathing heavy, shaking a little as he repositions you onto his lap. His hand caresses your face, eyes completely dilated as he makes a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh. "Oooh, gods, look at you…"

"My Lord, I-" Your eyes widen a little as you struggle a little in his grasp. "Wait-"

"Have you forgotten who you answer to?" He clicks his tongue. "You are in no position to make demands of me."

"I…answer to you, my Lord." You still, realizing what he was asking you. "I'm sorry."

When you look away bashfully, there's a small silence.

There's a small silence as you look away bashfully. However, when you glance back at him and are met with a frown - there was the sudden realization of an unsaid question waiting to be answered. He hasn't moved at all. Immediately, you explain yourself, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "I-I'm still a bit sensitive, is all…but I-I still want this! Truly, my Lord! I-I want…I want you, still."

Your voice comes out a little higher than you would have liked, but it seemed to quell him nonetheless.

"As am I, but…" He sighs and before he looks away, you capture his lips in a chaste but wet kiss.

"I know." You bite your lip bashfully and your voice comes out soft and sweet in all the ways that make his cocks twitch. "But, I did promise to worship my Lord tonight. I shouldn't make a promise I can't keep."

When your hands begin to stroke him again, slow and gentle, Sukuna practically throws his head back, biting back a low whimper while his stomach mouth shamelessly groaned and panted. He cursed as his hips began to move on their own, muscles tensing as his cocks grew hard again. Yet when your eyes lock he only sees adoration and longing in them as your hands worshipped him diligently. Not the empty lust he saw in everyone else who wanted him this way but could never get close.

"You look incredible like this, my Lord." Your voice comes out raspy and full of longing, and it tears a near animalistic sound from him.

"Enough." He growls, and you immediately stop. "Let me inside you."

"Anything for you." A mix of arousal, anxiousness and excitement overwhelms you as you climb on top of him, positioning yourself so his bottom cockhead kisses the entrance to your cunt. The both of you share a guttural groan as you sink down on one of his cocks, the free one throbbing delightfully in front of your cunt. Sukuna was massive, to say the least, and despite how dripping wet you both were your legs were still shaking from the wonderful strain. Although your sopping, velvety insides took him in eagerly while being stretched to their limit. The initial pain of the stretch was nearly drowned out by how wonderful he felt inside of you - fat and veiny cock completely filling you, dragging deliciously along your insides. You could feel him his arousal leak inside you, and his length pulsing like a second heartbeat. And when you fully sheathed him inside of you, you both almost lose the ability to think properly.

"S-Sukuna, my Lord…" You'd be embarassed by how shameless you sounded with your Lord now fully inside you, his fat mushroom head threatening to breach the entrance to your cervix and spurting his precum on it. His hands rested on your hips, keeping your bodies joined with a messy puddle of arousal underneath you both. Sukuna's eyes were rolled back and fluttering slightly while his stomach mouth was open with his massive tongue lolled out, making a noise somewhere between a low growl and a whimper. Seeing him like this nearly sent you off the edge.

"O-ooh, gods…" He groans when he feels you clamp down on him, and a hand pulls your head into a clumsy kiss. You feel his breath turn into full on panting when he tasted himself on you, the hands on your hips now painfully digging into your skin as he begins to thrust up into you - sloppy, slow and languid, as if trying to get even deeper than he could. Your free hands, once caressing the wooden part of his face, now move down to stroke his free cock - earning you a low growling from the stomach mouth as it started panting.

"Oh, you feel heavenly, Lord Sukuna…" As if encouraged by your words, his thrusts start to get faster, harder - a steady rhythm beginning to build. "That's it. You're doing so well, my Lord."

"Ngh, ah…" Oh, how your Lord made such sweet sounds.

Neither of you were going to last long, it was all too much.

The pain had long subsided, replaced only with ecstacy. Sukuna's fat and heavy cock dragged along every part of your insides, and the feeling of the warm arousal dripping from his tip and the throbbing of his veiny length had you near screaming into his mouth. Your Lord was completely filling you and leaving no part of you unloved. While your wet and sloppy cunt desperately sucked him in every time you and him moved, only to be rewarded as he thrusted back in and you bounced back down on him, wet velvety insides squeezing him tightly as if never wanting him to leave. Without you even realizing it, your body was unconsciously and sweetly worshipping and loving your god. "A-ah, I love you, my Lord!"

Something in Sukuna snaps upon hearing those words, which were otherwise empty - had it come from someone else.

"Let me taste you." He practically whimpers into your mouth as you both pant and continue to knot tongues. The kiss is clumsy, inexperienced, but you were far too lost in love to care - exploring your Lord's mouth eagerly while you struggle to ride his beautiful, monstrous form. The tongues on his mouths sucking, biting and tasting your skin; marking every bit of your body they could. This would hurt, but you didn't care. You only wanted to show your god how much you loved him. "And I want you to accept me, too..."

"Yes, my Lord. Anything-" This would hurt, but you didn't care - only wanting to show your god how much you loved him. "Anything you wish of me…"

With the flick of his wrist, there's a sharp pain on your tongue and a metallic taste floods both of your mouths - there's not enough damage to fully cut off your tongue, however, only a cut.

"Swallow me." Sukuna's breath hitches as he continues to kiss you, letting out a noise between a growl and a whimper, and you realize that it wasn't only your blood in both of your mouths. An offering of a devotee to their god, and a god to their devotee. You eagerly swallow each other's blood, moaning as you share the messy, bloody kiss.

His thrusts get faster and harder, his cock twitching and your cunt spasming. What was once a steady rhythm has now turned sloppy as you both rode each other into your high. Sukuna reaches his orgasm with a choked sob, and you reach yours with a scream - bodies tensing as you both get lost in each other and neither of you stop moving. His warm and thick seed floods your insides, far too copious and spilling over as he paints your womb white. Your cunt spasms and clamps down on him, almost painfully milking and sucking him in, desperately trying and failing to keep his overflowing love inside.

It feels like forever, but you eventually collapse on top of him - both of you too tired to pull out. Your minds were completely muddled, bodies shaky with the high and tranquility of post-orgasm. There was nothing but the sound of your breathing for a while, before he silently cups your face and you feel the sting on your tongue disappear. With shaky hands, you touch your tongue and find the cut was healed.

"Thank you for sharing your blood with me, my Lord." You bury your face in the crook of his neck. "If I may, might I stay the night?"

"You'll be staying here every night, from now on." Without realizing it, his lips reach your forehead. "And for the rest of eternity, you will never leave my side."

"Yes, my Lord. I swear it." It was one simple, powerful vow that had you staying by his side for the rest of your life…

And made you return to him, in every life after.

-----

My GAAAHD was this difficult to write. Not the actual writing part itself, oh NO. But finding the time for writing. YEEESH. Anyways, have a great day!

.

Taglist:

[l13]

Hi!! Would you be willing to write something about reader that’s obsessed with peter b parker’s tummy? like how he lets reader indulge in that obsession, teasing reader for how just having their face in his belly drives them wild :) a hot ending would be great toooo

sorry this kinda turned into the reader teasing peter insteadD:

cw : NSFW 18+, MINORS DNI, gn!reader, mostly fluff, established relationship, kinda sub!peter? he's whiny in this, like one mention of body hair, hints at smut but there's none:c, thick/dad bod(whatever you wanna call it)!peter appreciation<;33

Peter breathes out your name softly, and you glance up at him to find that he's covering his flushed face with an arm over his eyes, “Cut it out already,” he scolds but there's no strictness behind his tone. “I'm running late.”

“One more minute,” you say, and Peter knows you're lying but he can't bring himself to say anything when he feels you touching and squeezing his plump sides. He raises his arm a bit to peek down at you and holds his breath as you run your fingers from his bellybutton down, down to the waistband of his sweatpants, following the trail of his fuzzy hairs.

Peter bites his lip and runs both hands through his hair. He's so overwhelmed by you showering him with affection that he doesn't know what to do with himself. “You're so obsessed, it's kind of embarassing to be honest..” is what he chooses to say, his voice cracking slightly and he cringes. His heart swells when you huff out a laugh and nod, so much so that he feels it thumping in his throat.

“Promise you're never gonna get rid of your tummy? Please? 's so pretty, Peter.. can't get enough,” you talk with your cheek pressed against his belly, your words getting muffled as you turn to lay kisses across his chubby skin. Peter whines, his hips jumping up involuntarily. “M not gonna.. just... stop feeling me up or else I won't be able to go anywhere,”

You grin up at him and say, “That's fine with me,”. Your voice is dripping pure sin and it makes Peter want to scream and start running around like a maniac.

“That's fine with- Miguel will kill me if I don't show up, d'you want me dead or somethin'?”

“It's just a meeting, Peter..” you coo, shimmying your body down to straddle his thighs, humming when you spot the outline of his dick underneath those stupid grey sweatpants that he loved. They did look good on him... but the fact that he refused to put on underwear each time he wore them, knowing that it drove you insane, was absolutely evil.

You let your hand fall on his bulge, hearing him inhale sharply, and you bit your lip to try and stop yourself from smiling as you ran your hand up and down his length over the material, “Plus I'm gonna treat you so well if you stay.. I swear, baby.”

“God, you're such a -Oh fuck.. please...” Peter stutters when you bend down to bite at his chubby tummy softly, giving the skin a kiss right after.

“Please what?”

“Want your mouth on me so bad.. c'mon, I'll do anything-”

“Good boy,”

2023 © l13 | Do not steal, copy, edit, translate or re-post any of my works.

[ambrosialdesire]

OMG i would like to request yandere bertolt x paradis reader.you can pick whatever part of the timeline you want, maybe he managed to survive to take her to marly, or maybe she just tried to escape on marly or paradis, or maybe he just kidnapped her I don't really care

Thank you

desiderate

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 bertolt x fem!reader word count: 9.5k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, some explicit sexual content, s4 bertolt au, implied non-con, violence, kidnapping mention, stalking, forced kissing (kinda dubcon), slight groping, kinda masochistic bertolt, cigarette usage/smoking, blood kink, knife kink, slight voyeurism, male masturbation mention, panty jerking off mention (?), slight body mutilation, scarification implications, all characters are 18+ synopsis: they've brought you here on this foreign land, a land that was once believed to be completely overrun with monsters. you've been living pretty easy with this new life of yours but it's hard to forget about what he's done to your old home. this singular man, capable of complete destruction despite his nervous demeanor. there may be humans here but the true monster still remained, watching your every move until he was ready to strike. a/n: IM NGL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST BERTOLT LMFAO i made bro a creep cause i feel like between bertie and reiner, bertie definitely has the tendency to be lurking and stalking behind corners and constantly following you and finding to opportunity to snatch your underwear to jerk off into LOL the reference that i used for s4 bertolt is this fanart that was used in a tiktok edit but i have no idea who made the art and it's making me scream bc it's definitely how i imagine what he looks like (but with thicker chin stubble) and i want to give the right creds (if you look up s4 bertolt/bertholdt fanart on google and see a tiktok image of him smoking, that's what i'm talking about but i want to give actual creds to the artist) also mb on the smoking scenes idk how it feels to smoke but i do sorta know the distinct smell of it this is also in no way connected to the cacoëthes series just to let yall know hehe i hope you enjoy this anon! thank sm for your request!! and sorry for the wait LOL note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

"Call off your damn hound Reiner, I'm getting sick of his shit."

Pushing past the blond as you entered his home, you made your way to his dining table. You huffed as you sat down, leaning back against the chair as your boot-covered legs kicked up on the wooden table. Reiner rolled his eyes, pushing them back down to the ground with a heavy thud. He crossed his arms, leaning on the wall adjacent from where you sat.

"A hello first would suffice. What's Bertolt getting himself into again?"

"My business!" Exasperated, you threw your hands over your face. "He keeps fucking following me and it's starting to freak me out. You guys know I'm not suspicious anymore, there's no way for me to be able to contact Paradis Island at all."

Saying your old home's name had started to feel foreign on your tongue unfortunately. It's been over four years since you've been whisked away by these two assholes and living here has been nothing but a thorn on your side. You worked under the Warrior Unit, mostly a simple soldier for both Bertolt and Reiner to boss around for basic things. It's nothing different from your time as a scout but it's frustrating working for them instead of with them.

You don't know why they took you away with them instead of breaking out their other accomplice, Annie, but after a handful of screaming, punching, kicking, and biting from you, they managed to drag you off to the boat. You stayed there for an estimated week or so with random strangers coming and going, poking and prodding at you as if you were one of Hange's experiments on Eren and randomly caught Titans.

The two of them finally came back one random night unconscious, battered and beaten to the point where their Titan healing powers couldn't even help them fast enough. You needed them alive — how else were you going to manage escaping this unknown place of theirs — so you helped tend to their wounds, staying at their sides until they were finally awake.

Once they were conscious enough, you punched Reiner square on the nose, spinning around to smash your knuckles right into Bertolt's cheek. Your hand was throbbing in pain but the burning fury you felt was stronger. By the time they woke up, the boat already was leaving the docks, and now you were most likely already miles away from home.

"You fucking assholes."

Blood was dripping down his nose, while a cut just barely formed on the bruised skin of the other. It was in vain however. Steam was steadily coming out of the two of them, meaning that the healing was back in working condition.

"FUCK! I didn't even say anything yet!" Reiner scowled as he placed his hands around his nose, snapping it back in place with a nauseating crack.

Bertolt laid there quietly however, lanky fingers brushing against the welt on his face but he was unable to meet your stare. Tears started streaming down your face, your body crumpling to the floor. You were completely hurt, you trusted these two like they were family, especially Bertolt. Was he really who you thought he was? How could they do this to you? To everyone back in Paradis?

"Why? Why me?"

The two of them fell even more silent, Reiner looking up at the ceiling while Bertolt closed his eyes shut as if he was the one that was currently going through it.

"Well say something goddamnit! Why am I here?" You were beyond angry, voice crackling from how loud you were screaming at them. "Tell me!"

Bertolt finally opened his eyes, pale green staring into yours. You couldn't see him. There was only the Colossal Titan looking down at you as if you were nothing but an insignificant speck on the wall. He opened his mouth, uttering remorselessly one phrase that made you even more resentful of their entire beings.

"I'm sorry."

Now you were here after long months of being processed and interviewed over and over by many Marleyan higher-ups, eventually and finally gaining their trust. You knew they still didn't like you but who really gives a shit, they left you alive and that's all you could be grateful for.

Since you directly worked underneath the two Titan shifters, they were able to get you housing and some basic supplies for you to be able to function properly in their society, as well as a good amount of pocket money to buy whatever you needed. You didn't go out of the house for a month though, still horribly and rightfully angry at them. You were also afraid of the idea that you'd get mobbed immediately once you stepped out and killed on sight by the locals.

Bertolt was the one that finally knocked on your door, tired and baggy eyes focused on the peephole. Part of you wanted to keep the door closed and ignore his presence, but he might report you or something stupidly petty. When you opened it up, the faint waft of bitter tobacco invaded your senses, nose wrinkling at the unfamiliar smell.

As you looked up at him, he felt and looked even more like a stranger than a past friend. It's only been a month but it looked like he had gotten broader at the shoulders and taller. He was wearing a beige uniform, a white undershirt and black tie peeking out of the chest of the long, belted trench coat. His black hair was partially pushed back with gel, slightly being more grown out from the last time you saw him. The way he held himself now in Marley was completely different from Paradis, an eerie calmness surrounding his person. He used to hunch into himself when he was a trainee and a soldier, but now his back was rigid and straight, arms hidden neatly behind his back. The posture reminded you of the utmost dedicated soldiers in the Scout Regiment.

"You haven't been going to work." He softly spoke, his head slightly tilting to the side.

"So?"

"Failure to comply means termination. Termination means you'll get kicked out of Marley. Getting kicked out of Marley means death." Alright, straight to the point. Even the way he was speaking sounded different, as if he had suddenly gained a newfound confidence that was only present here in his homeland.

"You guys really thought I was able to function properly in a new continent where everything is different in a few months? Not to mention, I'm still pissed off at the two of you but fine. I'll come in tomorrow. Goodbye." You proceeded to close the door on him but he stopped it with his boot. Groaning under your breath, you tried pushing at the door so he could back off, but it was to no avail.

His hand grabbed the side of the door and heaved it open with little struggle, letting himself in as you toppled back into the ground from the force.

"You haven't been going out at all. When's the last time you bought groceries?" You flinched, avoiding his judging gaze. How did he know?

"Last month." You muttered as you got up from the ground, brushing yourself off.

Bertolt sighed, glancing off to the side. "Okay. I'll wait here for 15 minutes. Go get dressed and get your money, I'll help you navigate the markets."

You didn't want to but food was definitely running low, and you don't know how long the canned meat in your pantry was going to last in your anger-riddled protest. You made your way upstairs, rummaging through the closet and grabbing the cleanest clothes you were able to find and put on within the time limit he gave. Making your way back down, you found him in the exact same spot, his eyes glancing around the living room.

"Alright. Let's go and we're going to make it quick. I don't think I can stomach standing next to you for this long." You bitterly grumbled, moodily pulling the door open. Bertolt followed after, closing the door for you and taking the lead. What sucked even more was how quickly you had to dash after him, his steps being too large for you to have a steady pace next to him. Maybe him being a near giant compared to a normal person — you noticed as the two of you walked through crowds of people — was thanks to the Titan DNA.

Each passerby gave you a look as you walked on through but never spared a second glance, which was good. You knew that you were an unfamiliar being, a foreigner that was never supposed to be here in the first place. The farmer's market was still open, vegetables and fruits neatly lined up in each stall. He did most of the talking, being able to haggle easier due to his status and the blaring armband that wrapped around his upper arm. You didn't like having to be publicly labeled, it felt like you were merely a product rather than a person.

You were focusing on a stall with jars of honey and jams when some person suddenly shoved you aside with their shoulder, body suddenly losing its balance due to the amount of groceries you were holding on one arm. You prepared for the impact of the cobbled ground but never felt it, instead feeling a firm hand snug in-between your curve of your side and another on your shoulder.

"Careful now." You opened your eyes, meeting his in shock once he steadied you back on your feet. Bertolt's face soon turned to a bright red, his hands quickly leaving you, and his gaze glancing away. Perhaps there really is still some semblance of the man you knew in your homeland.

"Th-thanks..." Adjusting the bag stiffly back up your arms, you proceeded forwards without him, leaving him behind at the stall. It became a usual thing eventually, he'd come over every two weeks to make sure you were fine and the two of you would go out buying your necessities for an hour or two. It didn't erase the fact that you still hated them, but at least he was helping you get comfortable in this strange new world.

You finally started going to work as promised, wearing an awkward and stuffy white uniform that made even the tangling straps of the cadet uniform pale in comparison. According to the paper that came with the uniform, you were to report to Reiner and Bertolt in one of the headquarters' rooms. However, the details were so vague that you were completely lost in the beginning, roaming the hallways without a clue where you were heading.

"Soldier. Face me."

You stiffened, turning around and straightening up. The tall man was vaguely familiar, a full blond beard lining his face and round spectacles hiding his eyes. His right hand raised up as if he was saying hello and you quickly returned the gesture, somewhat remembering that it was their version of a salute.

"Name and ranking?"

"Y/N L/N, er... I'm not sure of my ranking sir. I just know I'm assigned to work for the Vice Captain and one of the Warriors?" You shuffled your feet awkwardly and he nodded, gesturing his hand for you to follow him. He started scratching his ear as he walked, as if he was in thought. To you, he really felt familiar but you couldn't quite place where the feeling belonged.

"Ah yes," His eyes glanced at you, the blue color peeking out from behind the glasses. "Now I remember. You're Reiner and Bertolt's human souvenir from the devil island, aren't you?"

Is that what they called you? And how dare he call your home a devil island! A bubble of anger was rising within you, but you didn't want to take it out on the older man that was helping you find your way. He had to be a higher-up based on his demeanor and you'd rather not get in more trouble.

"...Yes sir, I am."

"You were supposed to be here a month ago." You cringed internally but nodded slowly.

"It's my fault sir. I've only been here for a few months and everything is too... new. I hope my absence didn't affect anything." The man simply hummed, stopping at a door with the words 'WARRIORS UNIT' neatly carved into the wood. You pulled the door for him, letting him saunter in before you entered.

"I found your little pet, you two." His hand pressed against the small of your back, pushing you forwards towards a table where the two of them sat. They looked completely exhausted and were partially bandaged up, quietly sparing a glance at you with a short wave.

You settled yourself in-between them, about to thank the man for helping you but he was already stepping away, going outside to light up a cigarette.

"Don't mind Zeke, he's just... eccentric like that. Hope he didn't offend you." Reiner pushed a pile of papers towards you to sort once you turned back to them, saying something about piling them from who sent them; the important files being from the commander and the Marleyan superiors and the unimportant files being from other soldiers. It slowly dawned on you that you became some sort of assistant to them, a glorified secretary for their war schemes.

"It's nothing too difficult, you're lucky to get this kind of work compared to us and the other Eldian soldiers." Bertolt slightly smiled, continuing to read a paper in his hands and you sighed quietly, beginning to sort. Part of you was grateful you didn't have to face war anymore, but the other part didn't want to be treated differently. Maybe the Marleyans thought that you'd defect once you were on the field or kill as many as you can with a weapon in your hands, going out in a blaze of glory. You never held a gun before though and it was most likely that everyone in this military could shoot you down before you could aim it at one person.

An hour or two passed by and you finished up the sorting, neatly tapping them together. It really wasn't a difficult task at all, were they going to make you do something else for today? You quietly waited for any orders, the two focused on their own thing until Reiner suddenly got up.

"I'll go get lunch for us. Y/N, you can relax for now, there's nothing else we need from you today. Good work." He ruffled the top of your head playfully, just like he did before after a training session in the corps. The blond soon left the room, leaving only Bertolt and you alone.

The two of you sat in silence, your hands fiddling with the seams of your uniform. Was sorting the only thing you're going to be doing during your time here? You'd quit within the month if that was the case but if not, maybe in due time you'll save enough money to open up your own shop. You've always wanted to sell clothing back in Paradis, just like your mother and father.

"You look good in the uniform." Bertolt finally mumbled out, the sound of a paper flipping over barely making it audible. You slightly flushed at the comment, diverting your attention to the closest wall in sight.

"Really? I feel like a wet cotton ball, it's so uncomfortable. The scouts uniform is way better." You grumbled, tugging at the cloth around your legs.

He slightly laughed at that, shaking his head. "No way. The scouts uniform was too tight, not to mention the straps were always so difficult to put on."

"Maybe it's cause you're a literal giant compared to everyone there. I just know they had to customize a whole other set for your ass." He snorted and started laughing, dropping the paper in his hand. You couldn't help but let out a few chuckles as well, crossing your arms together. The two of you bantered for a little bit longer and just for a second, it felt like you were right back home in the training corps canteen.

Everything fuzzed out in your hearing and you soon found yourself comparing home to here. The smells were different, not quite fresh as the countryside air and had a more smoky tone with every breath you took. The sights were different, more machinery was seen rather than grassy fields and trees. The people were different, there was no one recognizable to chat with besides your kidnappers. Everything here had entirely evolved and you were being forced to adapt to it. The realization made you feel a drop in your stomach, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

"Bertolt."

"Hm?"

"I want to go back home." Your voice was meek, heavy droplets falling down and staining the white fabric beneath you. His body stiffened and he got up from his chair, almost slamming it into the table when he pushed it in.

"This is your home." He responded coldly, a singe of irritation trailing off his words as he left the room, slamming the heavy door shut. You started to sob quietly, tightly holding onto the sides of your sleeved arms.

No it wasn't, and Bertolt knew it too.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Your work schedule was simple: Monday to Wednesday from 9:30 am to 6 pm, you served the Warrior Unit. Every other day, you could do whatever you wanted and that was that. The pay was pretty good for a livable wage, but nothing special. No task you were given from Reiner or Zeke was too difficult either, it was usually just sending out letters to their superiors or sorting anything they wanted you to sort. To be honest, it felt like they were just tolerating you since the Marley government didn't want to deal with you anymore. It sucked but it's better than being belly-up in the ocean.

You haven't tried to make amends with Bertolt after that day because one, it was his fault so why would you apologize anyways and two, he hasn't been around that often in the office space. Reiner explained to you that there will be days, sometimes weeks or months where some or none of them will be here. Apparently when they came back with the failure to retrieve the Founding Titan, the loss of Annie and her Titan, and the inability to capture Eren's special Titan, some nations came together and declared war on Marley.

"Hopefully it won't be so often that we're going to be gone for long. Wouldn't want to have you sit at home and do nothing." Reiner teased with a slight nudge against your arm before downing his glass of liquor.

"I do nothing even when working. Maybe I'll pick up some new hobbies when you guys are gone, like knitting or cross-stitching."

Maybe you can give the creations to your neighbors since you were just doing it for fun. One of them is an expectant mother and since you had moved in, she had been nothing but kind to you. It would be nice to give something to her in return.

"Alright grandma." You elbowed his side hard, rolling your eyes. He grunted and started rubbing the affected area, grumbling under his breath about your temper.

"Where's Bertolt? Aren't you guys inseparable?" He suddenly cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat. Back in the training corps and the short time in the Survey Corps, you've rarely seen the two separated. Wherever Reiner went, Bertolt followed suit.

"Probably caught up in something. He'll be here soon, he never cancels without notice." He waved his hand dismissively and you thought none the wiser, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass before taking a swig.

"Already missing him?" You suddenly choked on the liquor, throat burning at the sensation. No way. No way in hell, you'd ever miss him. He could get swallowed up by another Pure Titan and you wouldn't even bat an eye. You'd laugh instead, basking in the blood that would gush out of his torn corpse.

Before you could even say anything back, a soft voice popped into the conversation. "Missing who?"

The two of you turned and there stood Marley's behemoth, still dressed to the nines in his uniform. Reiner greeted him happily, ignoring the question completely, turning towards the bartender and ordering another scotch for his friend. Bertolt settled right next to you, taking the glass in his hand and drinking up the entire thing in one go, some liquid spilling out of the corner of his lips. He quickly wiped it up with his thumb, his tongue peeking out and licking the remnants away. His cold green eyes glanced down at you suddenly, catching you staring at him.

A flush of heat went through your skin, quickly looking away to stare into your partially-full glass. The drinks kept on coming, the haze of alcohol filling everyone's systems. You were the least intoxicated, slowly taking in the new attitudes and information from your drunk companions. It wasn't much but they became more chatty, opening up about their lives before Paradis.

"I joined because of my mother." Reiner moved his glass towards the bartender, his head leaned up against his arm as he watched the brown liquid fill up his cup.

"Oh yeah?" He nodded, taking a sip from the newly refilled glass before speaking once more.

"She had high hopes that our family would've been whole again. Me, her, and my father. He's, uh—" He cleared his throat, turning his attention towards you. A faint dust of pink rested on his cheeks, a cheeky smile growing. "He's a Marley-blooded man, so y'know... I'm not really supposed to..."

"Exist." You muttered as you finished his sentence and he let out a soft laugh, nodding lightly before downing his drink again.

"Harsh, but more or less, you could say that's it. Compared to me though," The black-haired man closed his eyes, huffing softly. "Bertolt here is more tragic."

Curious but puzzled, you turned your attention towards him, his hand running through his gelled locks and he mumbled something under his breath before taking a shot. You did wonder a bit about how this man turned out to be the worst attacker on Paradis Island's humanity, it felt sickening thinking about a sweet little boy being trained into a horrid monster.

"You know I hate talking about it Reiner." The blond snorted, turning on his chair and leaning back on the bar's counter.

"C'mon. Let her in on your situation, after all—" He stood up, walking over to him and placing his hand over his shoulder, leaning in close to his ear that you almost barely caught what he said.

"You owe her that much."

Reiner made his way to the bathroom, leaving the two of you alone once more together. The thought of trying to decipher what he meant flew past your inebriated mind and so you sat in silence, instead thinking that you might as well make your way home now. It was probably already past midnight, and you were sure that you were waking up late with a massive headache. As you finalized your decision, turning in your stool and towards the door without a goodbye, the thump of glass hitting wood snapped you out of it.

"I was raised only by my dad." Bertolt started and you slowly turned back towards the counter, your full attention on him.

"Don't know what happened to my mom, he never really told me and I was never curious enough to ask. It was just the two of us for as long as I knew but even as a kid that could barely read, I knew that he wasn't... okay." His fists clenched together and you could hear the cracks of his joints from how tightly he was gripping.

"When you're born an Eldian and live in the farthest parts of the internment camps, medicine is hard to get by and treatment is even more difficult to obtain. The minute I became eligible to join, I took the opportunity." You don't know what compelled you in the moment, but you placed a hand on one of his fists. He started relaxing once he realized that you were touching him, still stiff as he reminisced further.

"Did they give him the meds?" Bertolt nodded, taking in a shallow breath.

"A few days right after I inherited the Colossal, they started giving him everything they promised and he was getting better day by day. It wasn't until I left for our mission in Paradis that his condition evolved into something worse." You swallowed nervously, slipping your fingers into his and holding his massive hand gently. His head turned towards you, his eyes soft as he looked into your gaze.

You've never seen or heard him be so vulnerable before, guilt forming in the pit of your stomach. For him, he was fighting a one-sided war against your home, all because he wanted to take care of his dad. Yet in return, he caused the displacement of so many from their families, ripping them apart with a few kicks into the walls.

"When Zeke came on Paradis and we finally met up, I asked him about my dad and he told me that despite all the medicine and treatment that he's been getting, he wasn't getting any better. I had to see him again, no matter if I had failed the original mission or not. I couldn't die on that island without being able to see him again and I just barely made it. Sometimes the way we escaped made me wonder how I even made it out of there. It was only for a few months that I got to spend with him once we came back, but he passed away in his sleep last month."

His hand tightened around yours, though not enough to break it. No wonder he started to look more disheveled and exhausted recently, his whole reason for getting where he is was now gone. You pitied him but that didn't excuse the murders of thousands he did in your homeland. At the same time, it didn't mean that you should bring that major fact up, not when he was currently grieving.

"I'm sorry Bertolt."

"It's alright, you don't have to pity me. I have more to be sorry about towards you and the others. I'll never be able to properly make it up, nothing I'll ever do will be enough to wash away the blood on my hands."

The two of you sat there in silence, a warm hand around one cold hand. You really should leave now, before Reiner comes back and you'll be stuck drinking even more than you wanted to. You attempted to finally slide off the wooden seat, but he clenched your hand gently and tugged you towards him instead. Your eyes fluttered in both confusion and tiredness as you stood in front of his sitting frame. Blinking once, his face appeared right in front of yours. His free hand slid behind and rested against the nape of your neck, feeling thin but calloused fingertips tenderly brush against the skin as he pulled you even closer.

Okay... this was getting a little too weird for your liking. Beginning to open your mouth to verbalize your annoyance and trying to move back, he then took the opportunity to press his lips against yours.

You could taste the alcohol that the three of you had been previously been consuming intertwine with the tobacco's bitterness of the cigarettes he used, a vagueness of something sweet brushing up against your tongue as he tried to coax you into returning the action. His stubble was rough against your skin the more he moved, digging deeper as he pressed further into your mouth.

You had half the mind to bite that damn muscle of his, but the warmth of both the alcohol and him was stupefying, hypnotizing. It felt like you were melting against him, a warmth pooling in your stomach and in-between your thighs. Slowly, you convinced yourself to return the kiss, gravitating into his embrace. It was stupid of you to do considering you hate the guy but hey, who doesn't do stupid shit every now and then? Fuck, you even started wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders.

There wasn't much people in the bar anyways, either too drunk off their minds to care or simply ignoring the disgusting couple intertwining themselves in the public space. The bartender was off chatting with another patron, most likely used to the sight of a couple making their passion uncomfortably known to others. It's the Colossal Titan user, who on Marley dared tried to say something about it?

The hand that once was holding yours, grabbed at the crook of your back to draw you even more impossibly near him, then sliding down towards the curve of your ass. To your utmost surprise, he clutched and squeezed at the flesh firmly, feeling you up with this sudden confidence that you would never thought of him having before.

"Annie."

Sobriety hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing onto you once you heard her name slip through his swollen lips, taking no time to immediately shove the man right off of you. He just told you his story, that his dad had just died last month, and here he was, kissing and groping you and then suddenly calling out Annie's name. You were breathing hard, eyes wide as saucers as you stared down at him in shock.

"What the fuck? What the fuck!?"

Bertolt's hand reached out to you, as if he was trying to make you lift him back up. You've never felt so nauseated to hear those very words come out of his lips as a valid apology, like it was no big deal.

"I love you."

You ran.

You ran out of the bar, into the blackened sea of night, never once looking back. If you did, you were afraid of what you might see in his eyes or if he was chasing after you. With tears lingering in the corners of your eyes, one single thought remained.

Out of everyone in the squadron, why did it have to be him?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

For a month and a half the day after what happened, you never saw Bertolt in the office or around the internment zone.

It was probably the first time him and Reiner were ever separated for this long, the blond telling you that it was his own decision to be sent off into the battlefield alone. You wondered if he told him what he did to you after he came back from the bathroom, or excused why he was on the floor and why you were gone. Reiner never said anything about the incident, so it soon faded in the back of your mind into obscurity.

He wasn't your first kiss anyways, some now-dead nobody trainee back in the day was, and the two of you were drunk, stupid shit happens. Part of you also somewhat knew about Bertolt's fondness for the Female Titan user, originally not knowing about how close they were previously, but damn it. For a heated moment to be ruined like that left a sour taste in your mouth, and you couldn't help but hate him even more for it.

"He's back."

"Who?" Reiner's fist came down on the top of your head playfully, catching your attention from the paperwork.

"Y'know who. Better talk to him now before he passes out from exhaustion from the looks of it. Also, because I know you miss him~" He teased and you swatted his fist off of you, watching him as he walked off towards the main room laughing, leaving you with a pit in your stomach. You really didn't want to talk to him, even if a month had passed on by, but legally, he was your superior. Professionalism before personal feelings unfortunately.

You finally got up, walking slowly to the destination before taking in a deep breath and entering the medical unit. Bertolt was near an open window, a lit cigarette lazily nestled in-between his fingers as he stared out of it. He was the only person there and you swore that every time you saw him, he started to look more unrecognizable from his previous cadet days. His hair wasn't slicked back anymore, falling at the front of his eyes; in fact, you thought it might've grown out a little more from the last time you saw him. The Titan marks were still prominent on his face, like he had just transformed not long ago.

Wiping your clammy hands on your puffy uniform, you approached him, pulling up a chair nearby the bed and sitting down stiffly.

"Welcome back sir."

His head turned towards you and you swore that you felt the room grow colder as he gazed into you through the black strands of his messy hair. Maybe you were the only one that noticed, but his eyes were dead, hollow but still held some sharpness in those pale green irises. This was no longer the Bertolt you knew, this was a numbed man that got mentally thrown and torn apart in the arms of the constant war, the constant transforming, and the constant murder of many.

"Hit me."

"E-excuse me?" He must’ve gotten faster because you didn't realize how quickly he grabbed you until he pushed the palm against his healing skin. It was burning to the touch, as if you were right next to a blazing bonfire. Instinctively, you started to try and wiggle out of his grip but he held steady.

"Hit. Me." Bertolt's grip grew stronger around your wrist, fear creeping in through every cell in your body as you watched the surrounding skin pale from how hard he was holding. "That's an order."

You swallowed but nodded quickly in agreement, just so he can let go of you before any bones shatter. He immediately released you straight away, the action as fast as he previously took ahold of you and took a hit of the nearly burnt out stick. You had to hype yourself up for it, thinking back on every rotten memory you’ve had with him, balling up your fist and striking him as hard as possible where he originally placed your hand. The force made his head swing the other way, the cigarette butt dropping on the ground as your knuckles throbbed in agony. It was like directly punching a stony wall, not like the previous time you punched him on the boat to Marley.

You let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, straightening back up as you held onto your wounded hand. "And how do you feel, Bertolt?"

Bertolt’s body didn’t move, but his hand began to slowly trailing up to the injury, pressing his fingers against the forming bruise. You flinched as he pushed his hair back to where you could finally see his eyes, exhaling the smoke that he previously took in through his nostrils. He glanced over in your direction and let out a soft chuckle, although you noticed that it didn't quite reach those dull eyes of his. There was one thought that lingered in your mind as you stared back into his gaze, that he must've gone crazy fighting in the frontlines.

"Good hit, make me bleed next time." ...What? "Though, I'm surprised that you decided to visit after... what we did the last time we saw each other."

Recovering quickly from trying to process what he just said at first, you cleared your throat, crossing your arms. "The Vice Captain requested me to visit his right hand man, who am I to refuse his wishes?"

He simply hummed in response, reaching for another cigarette in his pocket and his lighter. Placing the unlit stick at the side of his mouth, his eyes caught yours once more, a slight smirk forming. "When'd you start talking like the soldiers? You forget the years we've spent together already since I've been gone, or did you finally get in trouble for treating us like equals?"

You scoffed, pulling your lips in a thin line. "You're the one that gave me an order earlier, and I've had a recent revelation that I had to start acting like a subordinate rather your friend or buddy or whatever the fuck we are, so yeah, I guess it's the latter."

"Ahh, better watch your language then or I'll have to report you for profanity against a superior." Bertolt was of course joking, the mocking tone intertwining with his words. As you felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance, the sound of lighter clicked and ignited, your eyes watching him pull the flame near.

"Y'know..." He started as he took in a drag, leaning his head back towards the ceiling and soon exhaling the smoke out slowly. "I've been thinking about you the entire time I was gone."

A heaviness plopped itself back on your shoulders, and you wanted nothing more but to excuse yourself out of his premises. You were about to say something to leave him alone, but he kept on talking, droning on and on about how he was counting down the days when he could finally see your face again. Bertolt mentioned that you were the only reason he kept on fighting, why he kept on killing so his commanders could see that he was doing such a swell job as their loyal Titan holder and let him leave early. What a horrible ideology, most of those people could've been innocents.

"And another thing, I kept thinking back on the kiss we shared that month ago." All the color drained from your face, turning and taking a step back to try and run, but felt his hand grasp onto the fabric right against your back. His voice had the same disdainfulness as before, a demandingness that you didn't even know he had in himself to project.

"Don't leave and turn back around. That is an order."

You grit your teeth, finally turning back around once he let go of your uniform and find him standing, his tall stature hovering over you. Nervousness crawled up your spine, flinching once you felt his cold fingers reach over to caress your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes scanned your face, inspecting your features quietly before taking another drag of his cigarette. He then neared your face and press his lips against yours.

Recoiling at the abrupt kiss, you tried to push him away but the grip on your face was painfully tight, almost akin to the hold on your wrist earlier. You could do nothing but endure this assault, a slight whimper slipping out as the soreness of your face grew.

Bertolt's tongue brushed against your lips, trying to coax you into opening them. You might as well obey, just to get this over with and the fact that you were running out of oxygen at an alarming rate. Once you did, he pushed the smoke in your mouth as he deepened the kiss, the burn in your lungs and in your throat getting worse. In a panic, you bit down as hard as possible to free yourself, the taste of iron combining with the bitter nicotine. You quickly doubled over and started coughing, watching in tears as vague smoke came out of your mouth with every heave and breath.

"Ah." You peered up at Bertolt from within your teary vision, the tips of his fingers on his lips and pressing against the wound you inflicted. It was deep from what you're able to see, but already started to heal itself. Yet, that's not what at all made you run out the room in distress, almost vomiting into the bushes once you stepped foot out of the building.

You watched in mortified horror as he smeared the crimson around his lips and chin, a seemingly euphoric and satisfied expression reflecting on those pale green eyes of his. He looked down at your frozen form, crouching down and reaching over to your face with his bloodied fingers. A small whimper slipped out as he smeared the substance on your mouth, a hungry grin forming.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? My blood on your lips, I wonder if I can make you bleed for me soon." It felt like he wasn't supposed to say it aloud, but maybe he wanted you to hear, to have a taste of what his true self was like. That thought alone made you run out, leaving him on the ground once again.

This time, you had to make sure you'd never see the sick fuck ever again.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

And this brings you back to the beginning, in Reiner's home completely agitated and frightened for your life.

The past few months, Bertolt resumed his normal duties along Reiner and you; although you limited your interactions with one another, you can’t help but notice that he was following you everywhere. Not just at work, but the times where you were on your breaks, going out to eat, shopping for groceries or clothes, even in your own home; you saw him. You barely caught him sometimes, he'd disappear in a blink once you tried to get in a second glance to confirm who you saw.

He lingered behind corners, staring at you with such a frightening glimmer in those dull eyes of his. He was usually expressionless as he stared into your very soul, not a single crooked smile or the usual slight upwards curve of his eyes. Nothing, absolutely nothing. And the strangest part was that he never said a word, just... stared. Sometimes he just stood there right in the public's view, crowds of people passing besides him without a single glance towards the weirdo in their way.

There was nothing you could do about it, he wasn't technically bothering anyone and due to the internment zone being rather small, they already knew that he was associated with you. How unfair it was. You wished you could live like them, ignorant and dismissive of the monster that stood right next to them.

Him being right outside of your window was your final straw, the lamplight just barely highlighting his features as he stood in your backyard. You screamed and backed up into your dining room table once you realized that he was right against your window, pressing his hand against the glass as his breath began to fog it up. His eyes were crazed, the first time you ever saw anything in them after weeks of ignoring him. You flung the drapes over the window — as if it could do anything to protect you — before running upstairs and hiding in your closet for the rest of the night.

If he was able to sneak up on you, to be that close without you noticing… what else has he done?

"He's being a fucking creep, Reiner. If it's not him trying to figure out that I'm some kind of double-crosser, it's him being some kind of perverted stalker." He snorted at your remark and you could tell that he was not entirely convinced. You took in a shaky breath, finally putting down your foot.

"Then I would like to request that I leave the Warriors unit and work somewhere else. I don't care where and if I have to move, all I want is to never see Bertolt ever again." Reiner's expression suddenly hardened and he pushed himself off the wall, leaning on the table opposite of you. You've never seen him quite as serious until now, unease filling your stomach.

"You do realize that we cannot protect you once you leave the unit, right? The only reason you're alive still is because of us, Y/N. Anywhere else in the other units, the generals and commanders will watch you like hawks for any mistake you make, minor or not. They would use any excuse to have your head." His hand rested on your shoulder and squeezed it firmly, checking his surroundings before leaning close into your ear.

"Look. I know about Bertolt's strange behavior, trust me, I've already noticed he's been off ever since he came back from that recent excursion. I don't know if I can convince him to stop doing this to you, but I mean it when I say that you're better off staying in our unit." He then leaned back and lightly smiled for more reassurance; a part of you felt that it was the scout in him that was talking and that made you feel a little better.

"We're all you got in this world and your best chance for living. C'mon, just give him one more shot." This wouldn't be happening in the first place if you left me back in Paradis, you thought bitterly but hesitantly nodded your head.

"Okay, fine. But you better get it in his head that I don’t want him stalking me anymore or I’ll report him to General Magath and leave the unit, no matter what the consequences are." You got up and headed towards the exit, turning your head to see him slowly push in your seat. He noticed that you didn't leave yet and lifted his hand up, almost waving goodbye.

"No promises," Reiner held up his pinky, slightly wiggling it. "But I'll do my best."

You scoffed, but smiled regardless.

"Then whatever happens, it'll be on you."

The next day continued on as usual, something normal for once as both Reiner and Bertolt weren't in today. You thought that they must've gotten deployed to another war since you hadn't seen any of the other Warriors either, but you continued work as usual for your shift. Even if you weren't required to, you might as well lighten the load for you the next time around.

By the time you were done with half of the stack, you finally called it quits, seeing that the sun had began to slowly set behind the towering buildings right outside of the windows. Clocking out, you slung your satchel over your shoulder and pushed past the doors, quietly walking back to your home. Now that you started to think further during your trek, it's strange that you didn't get any notification from Reiner about their sudden leave. He'd always gave you some kind of heads-up even if you didn't ask, either through a note or in person.

Was this something so serious that not even you can know about? That would make more sense, you're technically just an underling to them, you didn't need to know more confidential information from the Marleyans as a Paradisian; not like you wanted it or had any use for it anyways. The orange glow of the sun began to fade, the sky slowly turning darker by the minute as lamplights started to flicker on right on cue.

You were so close to home that you started to pick up the pace, a feeling of anticipation running through you. It's not like you felt scared, no. This was the first time in days that you finally felt like you didn't have to look over your shoulder, the first time in months where you didn't feel like you were being watched.

In a matter of minutes, you finally reached the front door of your home. You rummaged through your bag for the keys, taking your time as you pushed through the unfortunately crowded mess. There was no need to rush anymore, not until they come back, and hopefully Reiner was able to talk Bertolt out of his abhorrent, unprofessional behavior. Letting out a happy hum as you finally found what you were looking for, you pushed in the key and turned it open, only to be greeted with a gut feeling that caused goosebumps to immediately form on your skin.

Something was wrong. Despite everything being in their right and respective places, there was something... off. Standing still at the entrance way, you scanned the environment slowly, a lump forming in your throat as they darted to-and-fro nervously. The windows were locked, you knew they were, and none of the drapes seemed to be moved or altered from their original places. There was only one entrance and to get to the backyard, you would have to take the side fence door at the outside of the resident. You almost were tempted to back out of your own house, the one place where you've considered as the safest haven from the outside. This feeling, it had to just be that you were unused to being finally left alone... right?

You finally took a step inwards, the wood creaking underneath your boot. Mentally, it felt like excruciatingly long hours had just passed by for you to get another step, internally praying that your mind won't play tricks on you from the various sounds that were occurring in the considerably old home. There's nothing or no one here, you're just being a paranoid baby.

Exhaling slowly, you finally shut and locked the front door behind you. Repeating the phrase over and over gave you confidence to continue forwards, determination in your eyes. You'd be damned if Bertolt thinks he could scare you out of your own home, you'd rather go to prison than try to stay at his home for temporary shelter.

You lost your appetite to prepare a simple dinner, now knowing that you'd prefer not to try cooking something when you've just arrived in fear for your life. However, you carefully made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the wooden block. The sound of the metal sliding out of its sheath may have been the loudest thing you've been currently hearing. You gripped onto the handle tightly, turning towards the stairs.

You knew you weren't alone here, the house may settle now and then, but this felt different. This was different. No matter what your brain was telling you, your gut was telling you otherwise.

Crrreeeaaakkkk...

You froze, feeling suddenly out of breath as you stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. The sound came from your room, there was no doubt about it. A memory of Bertolt trying to secretly make breakfast for you flashed into view, the sounds of pans clashing below waking you up. You should've questioned how he gotten in the house in the first place during the earlier stages of this thing of his, but you were far too hungry and tired to even notice until now.

In meticulous steps, you made your way to the staircase, trying to make sure you didn't step on the wrong board and alert the intruder of your presence. Hell, he might've already known since you unlocked the door. The hallway never felt longer than it was before as you approached the room, the moonlight shining down on you and the weapon held in your dominant hand. There was more creaking the more you came towards the door, your heart pounding in your chest in the rhythm of a thousand Abnormals sprinting towards their next delectable meal.

The door was slightly ajar, alarms ringing in your head. You never have left the doors in your room open in your life, especially when sleeping and even when you left the premises. Someone is in there and you know who it is. Taking in a deep breath, you leaned in gradually towards the crack in the door, trying to control the trembling in your hands as you peeked through.

The stench of blood first hit your nose, then the sight within nearly made you scream in horror. Bertolt was in your room, sitting on the middle edge of your bed, all bloodied from head-to-toe what you were able to tell from the street's lamps dully illuminating the surrounding room. Though that was stomach-churning in itself, the action he was performing on your bed made everything even more heinously depraved.

The bastard was fucking his fist with your panties wrapped around his cock, his pelvis erratically jutting into the tight hold he put around it. His lips were slightly parted, almost barely audible groans slipping out with every stroke. Even worse, you could hear just the cusp of your name with it, your own face growing warm.

You had to report this to General Magath, now. Burn your bed and used underwear once you got the chance to second on the list. Reiner failed, maybe even never went up to him, and now you had to take the drastic way out of this. He finally took things way too far; if not your underwear, it might’ve been you.

You took a step backwards, immediately paling as the floorboard behind you squeaked loudly under the weight. The movement from within your room paused abruptly, anxiety and dread crawling up your veins with every passing moment. The sound of the bed springs being relieved of any weight on them immediately alerted you that you needed to start running or hide until he leaves. It was too late, the door opening with a grinding, crackling noise.

"Welcome home, Y/N."

Bertolt lunged at you, instincts kicking in as you swung the knife, aiming for his throat. You knew it wouldn’t kill him, you’ve seen Mikasa do it years ago and he healed without any trace of the injury left, but it would give you enough time to get to Magath’s residence. At least, that’s what you tried to do, but he moved last minute, the blade only digging into the side of his face towards his mouth.

He was stunned by it at first, a nauseating feeling permeating within your stomach as you watched the skin and muscle separate as he opened his mouth, blood streaming down his jawline in thick streams. Then he started chuckling, pressing his hand against the wound roughly and almost pulling it apart. This was no time to stay shocked however. You took this final opportunity to run, carefully trying not to cut yourself as you made your way down the stairs.

"Y/N!!!" Oh god, oh god, oh god. You reached the entrance, turning the lock and pulling it open, the cold air of the night blasting in your face. Freedom was right there in your grasp — just right there — before a thickly drenched hand from behind grabbed ahold of you from the mouth and pulled you back inside.

You couldn’t scream as his bloodied palm held firmly down onto your mouth, tears streaming down your face as he lodged himself right between your legs. He was crazed, his pupils dilated with excitement as he stared down at your quivering form. You could the hardness straining against your uniform pants, a sob stuck in your throat. The inflicted wound on his face was obviously starting to heal, steam coming off of it.

"Good try, too bad you aren’t strong enough to even try to finish the job." He took the knife out of your hold, his blood still staining the edges. Bertolt neared it towards your throat, your body fighting back as it approached closer and closer.

"Hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep moving like that." He scolded, as if he wasn’t the one with the weapon, the cold blade right against your jugular. You froze on cue, taking in sharp breaths with your nose to try and not to panic even more.

"You weren’t meant to see me uh—" His face flushed pink, scratching his uninjured cheek with his pointer bashfully. This bitch was acting like he didn’t just break in your home, committed a perverse act on your bed, and about cut your throat open. Bertolt slightly adjusted himself, rubbing his still-hard cock against you. "But it was pretty exciting, how long were you watching? Did you get excited?"

You wanted to shake your head, only flinching as you felt him unbuckle the belt, nimble fingers unbuttoning and zipping down your pants. You had no choice but to feel him slip his dirtied hand into your underwear, his fingertips pressing against your hole. A proud smile grew on his face, a vast contrast to your horrified expression as the two of you made the same realization. You’re wet.

Bertolt pulled the knife away from your neck, short relief coming out of you in waves, but he didn’t drop it or throw it aside. No. He used it to tear your uniform shirt open, a muffled yelp escaping you as the cool air made contact with your bare skin.

"We’re going to have some fun together, okay?" You felt like throwing up in his hand, hoping that you’d asphyxiate from it. Your heart stopped as you realized that he was nearing the tip of the blade on your lower stomach, right below your belly button.

"Right after I carve my name into you."

[babeyun]

dilemmas & desires ✩ k.sn [teaser]

✩ series m.list

✩ synopsis: kim sunoo was by far your biggest opponent - both in and out of the court room. he fought his way to the top, and you hated coming in second to his wins...much like you hated being second priority to his studies when you dated in law school.

✩ genre: rivals to lovers | second chance romance.

✩ pairing: attorney!ksn x fem!attorney!reader

✩ word count: 793 [full fic: tbd]

✩ rating: 18+. minors dni.

✩ warnings: dark themes. mentions of drug rings, murder (non-descriptive)/death, quite a bit of misogynist undertones in the world of law (none from sunoo). i think that's it for now?

tuesday, november 7th.

"bail is set at fifty thousand, cash or bond." judge kang minkyung bangs her gavel, making your shoulders jump as you process what she's said. fuck, you think. i'm screwed.

"i can't…i can't pay that." your client is near tears, and you can almost cringe in on yourself as you place your hands on her shoulders. "don't worry, mrs. jung. we'll get it all sorted out, alright?" you let her go as the officer guides her back out, running your hand through your hair frustratedly as you avoid the defense attorney's eyes.

"y/l/n, a word?" he clears his throat as the courtroom empties, and you merely glance over your shoulder at him. you snatch your briefcase off the table before making eye contact, grimacing at his gentle smile. "what, kim?" you're walking towards the door, before feeling his hand circle your arm with a loose grip.

"you don't always have to be so defensive, you know." he says pointedly, and you yank your arm out of his grasp. "unless you're going to offer my client a plea deal, i don't believe there is anything for us to discuss." your voice is laced with insecurity, and he can hear it. 

"your client laundered money for over twenty years, y/l/n. she has connections to several drug rings, and she refuses to talk. we both know she's going to try to lie on the stand, and then she will have a perjury charge on her back. a plea deal won't help her now, not when she's choosing to fall on the sword herself." he shakes his head, and you just roll your eyes. "then i'll see you when this goes to trial." "this little schtick, acting like you don't care? it might've worked for you in law school, and it might work with the other district attorneys, but i see right through you." he scoffs, before pushing past you out the double doors. pressing your lips into a firm line, you follow suit, keeping your eyes on the ground before you as you make your way to the front entrance. barreling down the steps, you can hear reporters shouting over him, question after question.

and you can't help but feel a little envy boil in your stomach. that should be you, the top attorney in your jurisdiction. you should be respected so widely, you should be badgered by shifty reporters wanting answers about your cases and clients. your photo should be plastered across billboards, newspapers, the sides of public transportation. 

instead, you're haunted by him. you're cursed, coming second to him in every which way – salutatorian in high school, magna cum laude in university. losing more than a third of your cases to him, the unbreakable bond he holds with the population of seoul is unbelievable. any time you're in a courtroom with him, you're always bound to lose. you'd never won a case against him in the three years you've both fought for the heart of the jury – and you hated how easily he'd won you over, too.

your relationship with sunoo in law school was something far beyond your wildest dreams. it was a perfect balance of work and romance – hours of practice case briefings, editing each other's essays and bitching about the long hours of your internships. all while sneaking gentle kisses, holding hands in the library under the table, laying in his bed snuggled into each other so tightly you could feel his heart beating softly under your hands. this all seemed so docile, so domestic – just two aspiring attorneys working through the turmoil of legal research and peer reviews by dancing around your romantic feelings for each other.

the difference between you and sunoo? you let your feelings take precedence. you noticed a drop in your grades, a lull in your determination to the best. you let your guard down as he carefully wrapped you around his finger, with promises that would go unfulfilled and sweet nothings whispered in your ear as he'd look over your case analysis papers. he took this as the perfect moment to strike, to knock you off your game, to take the spot you so deserved for himself.

it was selfish. and you told him so, only to be told that you would always come second to the sole love of his life – justice. "you were never a priority, y/n. don't expect that to change."

"stupid." you mutter to yourself as you hail a cab, feeling eyes on you as one finally pulls to the curb for you. looking up, you catch sunoo's line of vision, his lips pursed as he gives you a curt bow. you scowl, before slipping into the impatient driver's backseat. "where to, miss?"

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

taglist [those in red could not be tagged!]: @thesassy-mia @starfallia @ramenoil @hoonieversies @wintabite @shnnzsworld @eneiyri @jjongsha @ilovejungwonandhaechan @oopshee @capri-cuntz @petalsofink @teddybeartaetae @chocminteu @moon0fthenight @delvziion @heeseungthel0ml @marimariiiiiiii @thenastone

✩ a/n: since i didn't manage to finish the fic in time for his birthday, i figured i'd throw in a teaser for the modus operandi series. i hope you guys enjoy this one! happy birthday kim sunoo, you absolute angel.