#drowning myself | musings (terry)

[gumnut-logic]

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

::rolls up sleeves and brainstorms all over the keyboard::

If you want to do it, do it. Don't hide. Everyone had to start somewhere (wanna see my first ever fic? I was 18 and the internet did not exist, also, it was really badly written; you can find my second ever written fic here - its TOS Trek). We've all been there and we are all learning. Don't be scared, Thunderfam at least is here to support. For you fanartists out there, check out How I learnt Portraiture and then check out this post to prove that I can paint, honestly, really I can :D

If you do encounter negativity - block/ban. In fandom, if you can't say something nice, shut up and go away. Don't like, don't read, and mind your own business. I'm all for self curating your online experience. The only time constructive criticism is polite is when you know the person and they've asked. Like I have several members of Thunderfam I come screaming to while writing with the question, does this suck? These are my sanity checkers - Gavii, unfortunately you have taken on this mantle and suffer on a fairly regular basis. Nutty by name and nature.

Works in Progress - anyone who has known me here at all knows I leave a wake of WiPs behind me. Some I get back to, some, not so much (I promise to pull Alex out from under that building, I do!). WiPs are part of the way an artist works (I have so many in so many media, omigod). Because fanfic is published close to the leading edge of creation, its gonna happen. Fanfic is written for fun, after all. The key is to not let them beat you up in the head. Yes, there is unfinished stuff, but it doesn't mean you can't write something else in the meantime. Don't let it stop your muse. I am notorious for unfinished stuff and the real world hates it. But this isn't the real world, THIS IS FOR FUN. I know the marketing theories and the regularity of posting and popularity and what is at stake if either not enough is published regularly or if too much unfinished stuff disappoints the reader. But again, if you let the WiPs hang around your neck too much and badger you, they will drown you. It will become a job, a burden, something you hate. So don't pressure yourself. Work with your muse and see what you can wrangle out of it...at your own pace. You might be surprised what works.

The Terry Pratchett method - I don't know if it is true or not, but there is a post flying around Tumblr somewhere that claims Terry Pratchett, famous author, only aimed to write 400 words a day. This is something I have found extremely useful. If you want to write something, don't set the bar too high so you fail. Set it at a reachable level, even 200 words or 100 words. Honestly the hardest part is actually sitting down and starting. Before you know it you will have passed your low goal and blown it out of the water 3000 words later (my highest number of words in one day was 7000 - I tend to edit as I go, so it slows me down). Rarely do we have an entire day we can write, cos life keeps getting in the way. So do it in little bits. I'm doing this method with my crochet at the moment. Lots of little bits make big bits. This is how I've written many of my longer fics. Heh, I used to have fifteen minutes in the car before work, so I'd pull up on the side of the road and write as much as I could in that time. Sometimes having a limited time helps with that as well.

But the biggest thing you can do to improve your writing is to get to know yourself very well. I'm on the autism spectrum and likely have some forms of ADHD or Executive Dysfunction (I literally cried the day I found out it had a name as to why I couldn't finish things). It's taken me years to work out how to get work out of myself. How to avoid fighting myself (a fight I never win). To learn what works best for me and how I can herd the cats in my brain into them doing what I need them to do. Find out what makes you tick. Find out what sparks your muse, what way best enables you to write. Try different times of the day, different places, bribe yourself, time limit yourself, lock the family out of the room, go to the beach, write on paper, go mobile, write on your phone, scribble notes, anything that can get your brain doing what you want it to do. Sometimes reading fic can do it, showers and manual work are great for idea sparking - let the brain idle and it comes up with all sorts of interesting things. Very late night writing can be a doozy of a trip :D Find what works then do it - until it changes and you have to find it again because yes, my brain does that too, drat it.

And that is probably enough babbling from me :D I need to go find Virgil and a pick up with his name on it...or Gordon's...it's still gelling in my brain :D

I hope this helps someone, even just a tiny bit. Writing is hard work, don't let it drown you. Also, we all have up and down days, just because something sucks today, doesn't mean it will feel the same tomorrow. Never give up, never surrender, and if you do give up on one thing....ooh, look there's another one to play with.

Thank you for asking ::squishy hugs you lots::

Nutty

(who despite this will still have days where the writing will not work...in which case, I'm gonna do something else for a bit until brain decides it wants to play....stupid brain, do it on demand, you pile of goop)

[pictsies-crivens]

The Tattoo Post

It's been a couple of weeks in coming, but, it is time I gathered my thoughts together and wrote about the tattoos I got 2.5 weeks ago, and the reasoning behind them. I'll cross-post on Twitter at some point. Apologies, it's a long one.

Here they are:

The explanation: a sad tale of the end of a marriage, now ten entire years ago. The original tattoo, on my upper arm, a birthday gift from my spouse to match their own. I won't go in to details, but we shall say the events surrounding The End caused an episode of extreme depression, and the thoughts that will inevitably accompany such episodes.

I found myself one afternoon soon after The End, sitting on the floor of the new house I had rented with my teenaged children, setting up the television service. I saw Alex Kingston, who caught my eye, as we have the exact same hair (I call her my hair twin). She was standing in the midst of a group of soldiers, with a lovely young redhead, and a young fellow in tweed. The young fellow said, "I’m about to do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. When I do, jump." (Note: Whovians can probably guess I'm talking about Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone.) I remember being confused, as my dad watched Doctor Who when it aired on PBS and the Doctor guy certainly didn't look LIKE THAT. I finished watching the episode, then saw Smith and Jones (a Tennant one). Welp, I was hooked. I fell more and more for this quirky crazed show, finding other Whovians online and in the graduate classes I was enrolled in. If you notice the silhouette inside the TARDIS door, you'll discover who my Doctor is. Step the first to distracting my broken mind from it's singular focus on the dark.

I know, gentle reader, you're probably thinking, shut up, what about Crowley? Well, I'm getting there.

Step the second: I've randomly engaged with the work of Neil Gaiman through the years, starting with Sandman. I became a fan in earnest after watching Stardust (maybe 2 to 3 years after its initial release). It was in the quicksand slow-sink of my after-divorce that I found Good Omens. Gods, it was like taking in a lungfull of clear air after the near drowning in sorrow I was doing every day. I genuinely laughed, probably the first time since, well, you know, reading the paintball incident. Those ineffable idiots bring me such joy. I found Sir Terry Pratchett, DiscWorld, and the delirious giddiness his writing brings my soul.

I decided, a few years back, to cover up my tattoo that shares a similar pattern with the one on my former spouse. With what? Had to be something I loved, something that had brought me joy, one of those things that had been my life raft. The decision was easy. Doctor Who (space scene and the TARDIS, maybe Starry Night?) for the cover up, and the book cover image of Crowley (who, I had decided, was the greatest character ever conceived of in fiction). This perfectly imperfect and adorable thing right here, if you were wondering which book cover:

Well, I gathered the funds, and researched artists. I found the quite talented and cool as all get out David Cox (https://www.instagram.com/davidcoxtattoos/) and was all set to go, I was thinking, yes, this summer.

On May 31, the show dropped, and I saw a living, breathing Crowley. And my precious, impossible, enough of a bastard to be worth liking/knowing Aziraphale. (Yes, I'll probably tattoo something of him, though Michael Sheen is forever inked upon my heart now). The dam in my head with ten years of writer's block collapsed, leaving floods of words and stories in its wake. I'm writing again; I've found my (Ineffable) Muses. Searching out for my fellows in fandom here on Tumblr, I saw an art piece by the insanely talented @retrouvel.

I sent a message after a couple days thought, and asked if I could base our Crowley design off their idea. And bless them infinitely, they said yes. A bit of a change, because I wanted WINGS, and a more traditional tattoo look, but at heart, it was inspired by the amazing Retrouvel, and I can't thank them enough. Do note, he's still sideways, though not exactly sauntering. That's why I have flame haired Crowley. Apologies to Master Gaiman for the use of his fantastic line from Sandman #6 and the capitalisation of a letter that is not so in its original form. It is a favorite phrase of mine, for all its infinite possible connotations.

I'll end with this: Friends, when you're drowning as I was, find something, anything to cling to. I had my now adult offspring (hi kids didn't forget you), a lovely therapist called Misty, my Doctors😉 and my Gaiman and Pratchett; to them I still cling so very tightly. Remember, there's someone, probably more than just one someone, that wants you to stay. I'm one of them. Find your buoy, your life jacket, anything that floats in your ocean of tears and doubt (tell Rose to bunch over, there's room on that door) and bloody cling to it. Just call for it, send up a flare, rescue will come.

[the-sound-and-the-fury]

Books of 2018

And here is my my annual book round up! This year I bumped my Goodreads challenge up from 70 to 80, and wound up reading 113 (which is a little less than last year, but some of these books were very long). But I once again benefited from my friend group being so dedicated to harassing each other with more books to read (and also the Silent Book Club that meets in Boston which has given me some time to focus on reading).

But as usual, I’ve bolded my top 18 books, and italicized my next 10 honorable mentions. And I’ve put a strike through my bottom 5 books that I managed to finish. This was a little difficult to do because I reread a few books this year (like Harry Potter, and The Princess Diaries) and I’m not including those.That said, the rereads affected my ratings, and I really didn’t find myself blown away by as many books. This is also possibly because a lot of these books were part of series, but ultimately I felt I had a significant majority of books that were either pretty good or meh.

(I would also link to all my monthly posts for these, but I’d read that links will interfere with searching tags on Tumblr (because this website is working overtime to dig its own grave), so you can just search Books of 2018 on my page for yourself.)

Dirty Deeds - HelenKay Dimon

Wishful Drinking - Carrie Fisher

The Magpie Lord (A Charm of Magpies #1) - KJ Charles

Everything is Awful - Matt Bellassai

Foolish Hearts - Emma Mills (OwlCrate)

A Case of Possession (A Charm of Magpies #2) - KJ Charles

The Dead Moms Club - Kate Spencer

First Frost (Waverly Family #2) - Sarah Addison Allen

The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air #1) - Holly Black (January 2018 OwlCrate)

Persepolis Riding (The Expanse #7) - James SA Corey

Flight of Magpies (A Charm of Magpies #3) - KJ Charles

HeartShip (Full Hearts #1) - Amy Jo Cousins

HeartOn (Fully Hearts #2) - Amy Jo Cousins

The Last of August (Charlotte Holmes #2) - Brittany Cavallaro

They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera

Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli (reread)

Remedial Rocket Science (Chemistry Lessons #1) - Susannah Nix

The Hazel Wood (The Hazel Wood #1) - Melissa Albert (OwlCrate)

Intermediate Thermodynamics (Chemistry Lessons #2) - Susannah Nix

Boy Toys (Hot Off the Ice #3) - AE Wasp

Skater Boy (Hot Off the Ice #4) - AE Wasp

The Comedy of Errors - William Shakespeare

Opal (The Raven Cycle #4.5) - Maggie Stiefvater

Vicious (Villains #1) - VE Schwab

The Case for Jamie (Charlotte Holmes #3) - Brittany Cavallro

When the Moon Was Ours - Anna-Marie McLemore

Working It (Ringside Romance #1) - Christine d’Abo

Faking It (Ringside Romance #2) - Christine d’Abo

The Color of Magic (Discworld #1) - Terry Pratchett

Making It (Ringside Romance #3) - Christine d’Abo

Losing It (Ringside Romance #4) - Christine d’Abo

Advanced Physical Chemistry (Chemistry Lessons #3) - Susannah Nix

Caraval (Caraval #1) - Stephanie Garber

These Vicious Masks (These Vicious Masks #1) - Tarun Shanker and Kelly Zekas

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (HP #1) - JK Rowling

Carry the Ocean (The Roosevelt #1) - Heidi Cullinan

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (HP #2) - JKR

Squared Away (Out of Uniform #5) - Annabeth Albert

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (HP #3) - JKR

Helping Hand (Housemates #1) - Jay Northcote

Ace of Shades (The Shadow Game #1) - Amanda Foody

Like a Lover (Housemates #2) - Jay Northcote

Practice Makes Perfect (Housemates #3) - Jay Northcote

Watching and Wanting (Housemates #4) - Jay Northcote

Puddin’ (Dumplin’ #2) - Julie Murphy

Starting from Scratch (Housemates $5) - Jay Northcote

Pretty in Pink (Housemates #6) - Jay Northcote

Can’t Help Myself - Meredith Goldstein

The Astonishing Color of After - Emily XR Pan

Adrift (Cruising #1) - LA Witt

How to Marry a Werewolf (Claw and Courtship #1) - Gail Carriger

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (HP #4) - JKR

A Court of Frost and Starlight (ACOTAR #3.1) - Sarah J Maas

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (HP #5) - JKR

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (HP #6) - JKR

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (HP #7) - JKR

City of Ghosts (Cassidy Blake #1) - Victoria Schwab

Leah on the Offbeat (Creekwood #2/Simonverse #3) - Becky Albertalli

Level Up - Annabeth Albert

Ship It - Britta Lundin

Failure is an Option - H Jon Benjamin

From Twinkle, With Love - Sandhya Menon

Daughter of the Siren Queen (DOTPK #2) - Tricia Levenseller

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark - Michelle McNamara

Tight Quarters (Out of Uniform #6) - Annabeth Albert

Summer of Salt - Katrina Leno

The Bear and the Nightingale (Winternight Trilogy #1) - Katherine Arden

And I Darken (The Conqueror’s Saga #1) - Kiersten White

On Duty (Smoke and Bullets #1) - AR Barley

Into the Drowning Deep (Rolling in the Deep #1) - Mira Grant

Broken Protocol (Smoke and Bullets #1) - AR Barley

A Duke in the Night (The Devils of Dover #1) - Kelly Bowen

I’ve Got My Duke to Keep Me Warm (The Lords of Worth #1) - Kelly Bowen

A Good Rogue is Hard to Find (The Lords of Worth #2) - Kelly Bowen

You’re the Earl That I Want (The Lords of Worth #3) - Kelly Bowen

Duke of My Heart (Season for Scandal #1) - Kelly Bowen

From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess (From the Notes of a Middle School Princess #1) - Meg Cabot

Royal Wedding Disaster (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #2) - Meg Cabot

A Duke to Remember (Season for Scandal #2) - Kelly Bowen

Uprooted - Naomi Novik

Royal Crush ( From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #3) - Meg Cabot

The Looking Glass - Janet McNally

Royal Crown (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #4) - Meg Cabot

Practical Magic - Alice Hoffman

Princess in Love (The Princess Diaries #3) - Meg Cabot

Competence (The Custard Protocol #3) - Gail Carriger

Empire of Storms (Throne of Glass #5) - Sarah J Maas

Princess in Waiting (The Princess Diaries #4) - Meg Cabot

Girls of Paper and Fire - Natasha Ngan

The Wedding Date - Jasmine Guillory

Muse of Nightmares (Strange the Dreamer #2) - Laini Taylor

Vengeful (Villains #2) - VE Schwab

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing - Hank Green

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

Syncopation (Twisted Wishes #1) - Anna Zabo

Leo Loves Aries (Signs of Love #1) - Anyta Sunday

Scorpio Hates Virgo (Signs of Love #2) - Anyta Sunday

Gemini Keeps Capricorn (Signs of Love #3) - Anyta Sunday

Before the Devil Breaks You (The Diviners #3) - Libba Bray

The Hating Game - Sally Thorne

Tower of Dawn (Throne of Glass #6) - Sarah J Maas

Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass #7) - Sarah J Maas

Pride - Ibi Zoboi

The Final Empire/Mistborn (Mistborn #1) - Brandon Sanderson

The Omega Objection (San Andreas Shifters #2) - GL Carriger

This is Kind of and Epic Love Story - Kheryn Callendar

The Kiss Quotient - Helen Hoang

Strange Practice (Dr. Greta Helsing #1) - Vivian Shaw

Spinning Silver - Naomi Novik

First & Then - Emma Mills

The Bullet Journal Method - Ryder Carroll

What Happens at Christmas - Jay Northcote

Better Not Pout - Annabeth Albert

DNF

The Glass Spare (The Glass Spare #1) - Lauren DeStefano (OwlCrate)

The Taming of the Shrew - William Shakespeare

Running With Lions - Julian Winters