#dragon age mutuals i know nothing tell me whether i am fucked or not

[shizuu-chann]

Okay, I am loving Baldur's Gate so far. There are many merits and overall it's just quite a fun game to play, BUT... I got beef with the romance system. Spoilers under the cut for those who care.

Specifically that it seems like every single companion is into you when I've only been trying to be friendly or kind. I have tried SO hard, like SO FUCKING HARD, to ONLY flirt with the person I'm intending to fully commit to. In this case, it's Gale, and I've already had to reject Lae'zel and Wyll--and let me just fucking tell you that rejecting Wyll specifically was painful. I felt like such a ruthless bitch, and I even went out of my way to not say anything even kind of flirty to him all throughout Act 1! I just had the dance scene with him. He's such a good character, and he's kind and all that, but he's not the object of my character's affection this run. Anywho, I didn't dance with him (said I wasn't interested) because I had a feeling he was going to officially confess feelings after or during the dance or something, and I felt like that would have been worse. But anyway, I just feel so fucking bad. The way his face fell and he just kind of went "Oh." with that absolutely rejected face, like I kind of want to cry I feel so terrible.

Rejecting Lae'zel was at least a little easier, because it seemed like what she really wanted at the time was just sex. She ended the conversation with a "you'll wish you hadn't missed your chance," and that was that. But Wyll? This is one circumstance where I'm going to say BioWare's Dragon Age does romance MUCH better (at least in 2 and Inquisition) with the explicitly labeled flirt dialogue options. That way, I don't have to hurt anyone's feelings because I don't have to worry about whether or not what I consider friendly dialogue will be taken as flirting.

And in my opinion, this ties into a greater issue with society that I've noticed, and it's that being friendly will invariably come across to some people as flirting, and that drives me insane. Like, I'm just trying to be nice and supportive, to help people out because they need it, NOT because I'm interested in them romantically! I might as well just never speak to any character I don't intend to romance in BG3, because otherwise they get the wrong impression. And I'm not even sure that will work, because I got this cutscene randomly after trying to get him out of his pact with Mizora.

I'm wondering if I had danced with him, if it would have been a friendship dance precisely because I haven't flirted with him (that I've noticed, anyway), or if dancing with him counts as flirting. Two friends can dance together! Why does it need to be romantic??? But I really don't want to have to reject him again, because I'm serious, that scene fucking hurt. I had to get up and walk away and then write this post because I felt like such a terrible person, even though I know I didn't really do anything wrong. I don't even think that's a character flaw, I think it's just a writing choice that I highly disagree with and highly dislike. Seriously, WHY is there no option to just very blatantly say something like "we're just dancing as friends, right? Because I like you, but not like that." Uuuuuggghhhhh, I hate everything right now. I just feel bad and sad and I almost want to stop playing because I'm scared I'm going to have to reject someone else...

Maybe if Gale's romance would fucking get on with it and actually establish him and my character as a couple, there would be fewer companions interested because she's taken. Right now I'm sitting at a mutual infatuation, but nothing physically romantic has happened.

[flying-elliska]

I finally finished Call Down the Hawk ! Here’s my first reaction (very spoilery!!!!) 

- On the whole I loved it. Loved most of the new characters, the themes, the more grown up vibe and the expanding worldbuilding. Is very clearly a set up, opening novel so a bit frustrating in the pacing but nothing major, just a lot more questions than answers. I just felt like it was still the start of the novel, rising tension and then boom ! the end. Had the same feeling with the Raven Boys tbh. But mostly I didn’t want it to end so soon. 

- this book is so sad ? but sad in a nuanced, gotta cope with it, adult sort of way. Like TRC was about a cool adventure quest, of course there were threats but it was full of magic and friendship and the thrill of becoming yourself and wanting *something more.*This is about stopping the end of the world and people having no good options and I can’t think of one main character in this book that isn’t like...subtly devastating. But it’s sad in a way that centers the agency of the protagonists and how much they care and how hard they’re trying, so it doesn’t feel fatalistic or gloomy. It’s just *arrrrrgh my heart*. They’re all trying so hard to cope but if they don’t find a better way to cope with their problems soon it’s going to kill them. Lol the young adult mood nowadays or what. 

- Ronan broke my heart, really. I loved that on one hand there are clear signs that he’s grown so much - he is able to show tenderness, to be open about his sexuality, he’s taken control of his dreaming to a point where he’s capable to help Hennessy - but at the same time he’s clearly depressed and he doesn’t know his place in the world and feels like everyone is moving on without him. Because the implications of his powers make it impossible for him to live a ‘normal’ life. Surviving your teenage years and self-acceptance is only the beginning ; then you have to deal with a world that isn’t made for you. He needs to find his people. This is just so, so relatable for a neuroatypical twenty-something...feels like a punch in the face. I am sooooo happy he found Hennessy and I can’t wait to see where their relationship goes. Worried about Bryde and how easily he could manipulate Ronan, though. Also, I am interested in the new sun symbolism attached to him - the kid permanently dressed in black with his ‘night horrors’ previously - now he’s making little lights/little suns everywhere in the guise of fireflies or floating flowers or little lights ; he has sundogs and a sun blade. Obviously there could be a link to the fire that is slated to destroy the world (and Kavinsky’s fire dragon !!!!) but it can also very much go in the direction of ‘stepping into the light’ and full life giving potential and sun-drenched tomatoes and happiness. MAN his arc in this trilogy is going to rock so hard i just cannot wait. 

- I just love Hennessy and her girls so, so much. The idea of living with clones of yourself is so fascinating to me...the fact that Hennessy struggles with the similarities with her mother, the artist who killed herself, and how caring for the girls seems to be a substitute for caring for herself, which she can’t manage. That scene in the bathroom...heartbreaking. Like can you imagine not being able to sleep for longer than 20 min ? That’s torture. Nod her relationship with Jordan, so complex. This idea of ‘my parallel universe self can live a better life than me if I keep all the self-hate’ ; of dreaming a better version of yourself. They care for each other so much but there is so much resentment being trapped in that state of being too. I wonder why Hennessy dreamed copies instead of something else : out of a need to be less alone with her plight ? To find others like her ? Or is it a darker ‘take her not me’ way to hide ? The fact that she gets a moon sword in the end (the moon being a reflection of the sun duh) makes this symbolism all the more present. Maybe she had this struggle of feeling like a copy of her mother, beautiful and wild and doomed and codependent on the man she loved. I can’t wait to see where this goes. I was just heartbroken that most of the girls had to die. Plus some bi rep yayyyyy (and more characters that are not white dudes ftw). It’s interesting that the Lace picked her specifically to torment ; I can’t help but feel it’s tied to that unsteady sense of self. Anyway, I really hope Hennessy gets to a place of love and self knowledge and self care and being surrounded by people who love her. I feel like her POV really underlines how tiring it can be to doubt yourself so constantly. 

- Declan Lynch ! Wow, I just love love love a POV switch that shows unsuspected depths about a previously disliked character. His arc is really *eldest sibling plight* taken to the extreme. Being boring for survival because you can’t afford to be a problem. Yup, extremely relatable too. It’s very refreshing because a lot of the MC of TRC have this ‘edgy cool we don’t like rules vibes’ which can come over as very immature (i meah duh they’re teens) and Declan had to grow up too fast and his sticking to the rules and trying to impose structure on Ronan’s life and completely draining his own life of any sense of joy or individuality, feels half like a survival technique half trauma response stemming from the terror of being given responsibilities at way too young an age and coping with the chaotic environment he grew up in and the constant threat of discovery. It’s like, textbook ‘child parentalization’ and it really sucks and Niall Lynch is an incredible asshole. And Ronan is pretty much stuck in father worship mode and turning all his anger towards Declan. The growth there...is going to be super therapeutic. And I love his thing with Jordan. Survival makes it impossible for them to be their true selves but they find something true together ? Aww. I can’t wait for them to be together at the Barns, which is really Romance Central in this universe. (I foresee angst too but ehhhh). And more art flirting and museum dates. 

- I also love how dream beings are getting more autonomy in this book. I think Declan distancing himself from Jordan in the end is this old complex about being non-magical and therefore inferior, but also because he doesn’t consider dreams to be real people capable of consent or interiority. I found the idea of Aurora Lynch always extraordinarily fucked up and in this book we learn it’s even worse - that she was basically a copy of Declan’s real mom ? Imagine growing up with that...no wonder he hates Niall. Though the idea of Mor O Corra doing the same thing is really intriguing, makes you wonder what the fuck happened there (was it a mutual decision ? was it a revenge thing ? Man their whole family is just so messed up lmao. But I just love the idea of Boudicca and the magical lady mob though.) And Matthew learning he is a dream and starting to deviating from his ‘happy but kind of dumb’ behavior in the previous books. He’s always been this previsible creature but now he isn’t and I feel like a big difference between him and Jordan was this knowledge. She has this knowledge of what she is and she immediately has more sense of self and agency and I feel that that’s a key theme of the book - knowledge, self knowledge. It’s basically what the ‘Call Down the Hawk’ title links to - Bryde talking about the man who turned into a falcon and then a hawk and learning so much about the world ; calling down the hawk would mean the man coming down and sharing this knowledge ; for Ronan it’s as well meeting and helping Hennessy ; so it’s about knowing your own nature through meeting people who are like you, as well. I love !!!!!

- Adam ! Not enough Adam in this book. I spent the book missing him, but that makes sense, because that’s the mindset Ronan is in. He represents what Ronan can’t have, and the Longing tm just permeates the whole book. Everytime he appears he’s just the epitome of cool, whether as dark academia vibes Harvard Student with his queer clique the Crying Club or Hot Motorcycle Boyfriend. He knows exactly what Ronan needs - understands his distrust when Ronan wonders if this is the Real Adam, tells him ‘go slow’ instead of just don’t, wants to take a look at Bryde to check the dude out, drives eight fucking hours on a motorcycle he can’t even drive properly to spend three hours with Ronan...he’s just like a dreamboat in this one lmao and after all the shit he went through in TRC...Therapeutic. But he is also increasingly distant and it’s so painful in a delicious way - the longing between characters who are already together but who are being kept apart by life is one of my fave angst tropes ever. Ronan wants to grow old with him and has romantic horny farmer dreams about him and the whole ‘tamquam alter idem’ thing...Boi i die that shit is just so...Romance tm. And I love how true to them it is, they’re achingly tender and yet there is still that strong chaotic shithead vibe between the two of them. Honestly the fight with the murder crabs was fucked up but made me laugh so much too. But then Ronan not being able to stay ? HEARTBREAKING. Ronan having Adam under ‘MANAGEMENT’ in his phone...really fucking funny but also feels like Ronan puts a sense of stability and direction in Adam and now that Adam is so distant...he feels extra vulnerable so he compensates with jokes. Ouch. Anyway I really want more about Adam and the Crying Club. Adam’s mix of cold, calculating pragmatism and compassion and understanding ? I love him so much, damn. I hope he’s a POV character in next book. I can see Ronan disappearing with Bryde and Adam looking for him, tbh. He’s too important to Ronan to stay on the periphery forever I hope. 

- the Carmen Farooq-Lane chapters were my least favorite, especially when she’s with Parsifal - it felt kind of repetitive. I feel like Maggie’s villain chapters are often sort of a weak point - the bad guys tend to be either ‘Vague Ominous Cosmic Horror Entity that wants to Destroy Everything’ (also often a terrifying reflection of mental health issues/existential terror) or ‘Evil Prep’ lmao, and I had the same feeling w the Whelk or Greenmantle chapters in TRC. That said, I feel like Farooq-Lane has potential. Her persistent self delusion about how she’s the good guy is fascinating. Her ‘evil sibling, obvious trauma hidden by politeness and cleanliness, probably is going to have a redemption arc’ thing feels very Gray Man. Her punching Ramsay moment was very ‘hell yeah’ and tbh I already ship her with Liliana - who feels a bit underdrawn at the moment too, but interesting potential. The Moderators, still, feel a bit too ‘generic lawful evil agency’ yet, but the concept is interesting. I really really love Bryde as an idea though. His speeches to Ronan are fascinating ; from one aspect they really illustrate a fascinating concept of the Earth coming back to real magic but from another, he sounds like a cult leader. Selling this idea to vulnerable people that their difference makes them special - and well Ronan and Hennessy definitely are, but does that make them better than other people ? Seen as how Ronan reacts to Declan, it feels like he would be vulnerable to that idea. Hennessy not so much ; I can see her accept Bryde’s help out of pure necessity maybe, but not be swayed by his lies. I really feel like they’re going to need each other. 

- So much cool worldbuilding...The Fairy Market concept is amazing (but also scary as shit right...like they’re selling people ? Probably dreams but that is still fucked up as hell ? Then again we’ve seen dreams die in pretty casual circumstances so the question is very much ‘so...what is personhood here?’). The idea of Visionaries is absolutely horrifying. Some people saying Adam could become one ? My god I’m not sure if I could stand those levels of angst. His ‘seeing the future of the world instead of people’ thing though...feels very compatible. Or at least like Adam could contrebalance the Visionaries’s visions somehow at the very least. Anyway, this is going to hurt. But it’s cool to have more answers ; the ending of TRC left a lot unexplained in my mind about the Lynch fam or why all those people wanted the Greywaren so bad etc. So this is very satisfying. 

- So Miss Maggie really went wanting to be normal at the expense of your true self is no way to live and also if you don’t create what you need to, you're going to die ? haha thanks for the callout i feel attacked. But honestly her saying that this was about the necessity and price of creation man I am soooo interested in where this is going to go next. All in all a stellar book, 10/10 would read again to overanalyze (yeah more than this even), most frustrating thing is waiting for the next one 

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

Why do people use genetics as an argument against Jon/Dany? This is a fantasy series where it is literally mentioned that an empire was built by a ruling cast that practiced bro/sis cest for 5k yrs and became the most adv. civ in history. IRL, Targs would be ugly and sterile if they continued with their level of incest. Clearly genetics work a bit differently in Planetos.

Anon, I completely agree. What I’ve noticed is that many arguments for or against characters and their actions are very heavily based around modern standards and morality. Which doesn’t work for many other aspects of the series, either - whether that be basic decision making, politics, etc. Jonerys fans have been struggling with people harassing us about the incest thing for ages - to the point where we’ve come so defensive about it that it’s now a non-issue (or, like in my case, we write incest-based fanfic in response lmfao)

This is Westeros, fam. Everyone’s related (except for like, the Greyjoys and Lannisters - or so I’m told).

“Jon’s a Stark, he’d never do that!”

Uh, yeah. Rickard and Lyarra were cousins. Tywin and Joanna were cousins. Cousin marriage is completely normal in Westeros. So, if you want to apply Earth standards, here, unrelated people is normal and cousin marriage is still practiced all over the world. So then, in Westeros, aunt/nephew would be probably as weird as cousin marriage on earth.

But again, they’re Targaryens. It’s not exactly unprecedented.

How bad is it, though, by Earth standards?

Two unrelated people: 3% chance of birth deformityCousins: 6% chance of birth deformityAunt/nephew: 12% chance of birth deformity

Like you said - using Earth’s standards, it could be that Targs might be sterile or fucked up. But even in some cases, like in Ancient Egypt, royalty bred for ‘purity’.

I’ve unfortunately looked into this because believe it or not, there was once a time that it bothered me just a smidge. And I feel like I know about incest more than the average person who wants to act like it’s the most vile thing to have ever happened in the show.

Just like you double up on bad genes - which is where these percentages come from - you also double up on good ones. Like say, if you believe only Targaryens can ride dragons. Whether or not that’s true, many Targaryens believe this, which is why, if they didn’t practice incest, they’d hop on over to Lys and try finding Valyrian-looking brides.

The worst it can possibly get, though, is twincest. Cersei and Jaime have three children together, each seeming genetically perfect, aside from Joffrey’s possible mental illness. But we can’t prove whether that is nature or nurture, maybe a little bit of both. Ramsay probably wasn’t born of incest, and yet he’s a monster, too. Tommen and Myrcella are just regular kids.

So maybe Aerys and his madness had nothing to do with incest, or maybe it did. One thing people tend to forget when it does come to his madness is that he was held prisoner and tortured for months. Kind of like another mad ruler with an affinity for wildfire and torture.

People will often pop up on comments I’ve made about this before and get offended when I insinuate that gore and violence is worse than incest. Give me incest all day over violence, I say. I can already hear the “You can’t tell me to accept incest!” counters - And that’s never what I’m asking. But I am asking you to accept that we have every reason to believe incest doesn’t work on Planetos like it does on Earth, and that there’s a good chance Jon and Dany’s offspring won’t be horrible monsters. Which is what the argument tends to be (as if they actually care about the wellbeing of a baby that is barely conceived). Also, let’s say they do have a deformed baby. First of all, they conceived without knowing they were related, and further - Jon and Dany would be the perfect parents considering they don’t judge Tyrion for his birth defect. There’s not really a moral argument to even be had, here.

When it comes to Jon and Dany, themselves? Sorry, but they’re just not going to be bothered. It’s more obvious when it comes to Dany. Here we get an explanation of why she assumed she would marry her brother:

“She had always assumed that she would wed Viserys when she came of age. For centuries the Targaryens had married brother to sister, since Aegon the Conqueror had taken his sisters to bride. The line must be kept pure, Viserys had told her a thousand times; theirs was the kingsblood, the golden blood of old Valyria, the blood of the dragon. Dragons did not mate with the beasts of the field, and Targaryens did not mingle their blood with that of lesser men.”

Here Dany is, thinking about how she might’ve married Rhaegar’s son:

“Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.”

When it comes to Jon, it’s a little more subtle. It’s fair to say that Jon’s feelings for Arya border on romantic (please keep in mind this is different than sexual). Why? Because Arya is quite possibly the first and only female who ever treated Jon with respect or kindness - and to Jon, kindness might be a more attractive trait than unrelatedness lol. His first love interest, Ygritte, makes him think of Arya, from her stubbornness, wildness, and tangled hair to her body type:

“She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore.”

“Her shaggy mop of red hair stuck out in all directions. She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya.”

Arya greatly influenced the type of woman Jon is attracted to:

“A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”

Brushing her hair. Jon associates tangled hair with Arya and now Ygritte. Both warrior women, as well as Val, who inspired the above quote. All of this goes back to little Arya - again, likely the only female to ever show the boy any kindness before he goes off to the Wall to presumably, never interact with women again.

So, if Jon then meets Daenerys, who yes, he butts heads with at first (just like Ygritte), but who ultimately shows him not only kindness, but mutual respect despite his ‘bastard’ name… I really don’t think that everything they’ve built will be shattered because she’s a little more related to him than is socially acceptable in Westeros. And once Dany teaches him a little more about the true Targaryen way, there’s a good chance Jon might even be into it. 😏

At least, his actor, Kit Harington seems to think so:

“I really hope that he just nods slowly and goes, ‘Damned right’. Something really horribly inappropriate, and you find out Jon’s had a really sick mind the whole time. That’s the way I’d love to play it. I’ll try it for one take, anyway.”

Fingers crossed we get that take in the subsequent documentary, eh? 😅