#dontletanyonereadyou

[starseededhippie]

Don't Let Everyone Read You

Today, I completed day 2 of my in-person Shamanic training.  Today was quite intense to say the least.  I felt an array of emotions from sheer happiness to deep sadness to anger.  This fluxuation in emotion all came as a result of other people's energy.  Before going to class, I felt the need to go back to the park where we met yesterday to reconnect with the trees there.  I found those trees to be very healing and cleansing.  I put my hands on the trees.  I hugged the trees.  I spoke to the trees. By the time I left to go to the training, I was feeling pretty darn good.   Unfortunately, all of those feelings of positivity dissipated when we began to engage in activities that involved a lot of touching and close contact.  I for one, am one who is very protective of both my personal space and energy so being in close contact with a bunch of strangers whom I am supposed to allow to touch me and act like I enjoy it, was not a nourishing experience for me.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  It felt very smothering and somewhat violating.  What further ruined this experience for me was the fact that I was told to pair up with someone whose energy I did not like at all to do readings on each other.

Now, as I mentioned, I have always been protective of my personal space.  While working with my mentor I was told the importance of maintaining my personal space and boundareies. I was also told to NOT let just anyone read me and my energy field.  Lastly, I was told to not let everyone hold hands with me.  Well, you know what, I was told to do ALL of these things during this training.  This forced pairing and reading just led to an experience that ultimately uncomfortable and somewhat triggering for both myelf and probably for the other person involved.   This was not at all helpful or beneficial.  What it did do is further confirm to me the importance of NOT allowing everyone to read me.

These are the many reasons why this felt like quite an uncomfortable experience for me.  There were several times when I just wanted to get up and leave.  I actually almost did twice, but I felt compelled to stay.  The reason that I stayed is that Iknew that there could be informtion that I could gain from this experience.  As my grandfather would say "Eat the meat and spit out the bone" which basically means take in the information that is beneficial and ignore the rest. This is how I look at this experience.  

Overall, the experience was beneficial in that it taught me many things.  I reconnected with a power animal that I missed.  I met some awesome people with awesome energy.  I interacted with people who like myself need and want to connect with Gaia.  I was reminded of the importance for me in doing so.   The experience confirmed for me that I work better individually when it comes to spiritual practice. It also let me know why I felt such a feeling of going back and forth about this specific training.  It's as if I already knew there would be drama involved and wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to deal with it.

Of course I still came home and smudged. I smudged myself. I smudged my bag that I took with me and everything.  I lit my candles. Now, I am about to go listen to shamanic drums or tibetan singing bowls and lay with my crystals.

-In Love and Light