#dont smoke weed and browse tumblr kids

[amorrain1990-blog]

Tips to dating in 2017

I know what your thinking, "Who needs dating tips?" If your in a relationship OBVIOUSLY this isnt for you. I write this for the single people, not just females, but anyone who is freshly out of a relationship, those who are just tired of the same old experiences and looking for something real, or those who have no idea where to start in this new age era of dating online. Mainly I want to share my experiences with the world. If my words can help anyone, even just a little bit, or make someone laugh and forget about the terrible day they had, then one of my life goals will be accomplished. if your still reading this you must be seriously bored.. Just kidding and honestly thank you to those that decided that this was worth the time. So for a little background on me and why I decided to spend my valuable (not) time putting this together. I am a serial dater. Yes I admit it. Phew, first step to quiting your problem.... Anyways, ever since I started dating at 14 years of age, (if you can call it that when your that young) I never went more than a few months without a boyfriend. At 16 I met who I thought was the man I would someday marry. 6 years later, I woke up and realized that I wasted most my young adult life being a housewife without the big shiny ring and the bragging rights. Well I lasted about 4 days before I was back on the saddle and thinking I was in love again. I of course wasnt. After that ended, I entered another long term relationship. 4 years and a hell of a lot of tears later, I ended it and here I am now. Sitting here pouring my thoughts into Tumblr, knowing full well that no one will ever read this. But im doing this not just for others. Im mainly doing it for me. I made a New Years resolution to stay single all year. Theres been a few hiccups over the first month of the year, but so far still single. Its important to prove to myself that I do not need to be tied down, that I can be my own person and do things without a MAN. ( For clarification, I am in no way shape or form a feminist) Every woman should be comfortable with who they are, and shouldnt have to rely constantly on the male species. Dont get me wrong, I love guys! Who doesnt? Their manly smell, their muscles and of course the all important Penis. Although I enjoy the company and presence of a man, I also want to get down to the real nitty gritty, the foundation that is me. I need answers to important questions like : Who am I? What can I accomplish on my own? And most importantly, What talents do I have to share that will leave my own personal mark on humanity? No answers yet, but eh, its only been a month. Now to get down to the good stuff: Online dating. Ive dabbled for a few years with it. I learned a lot, and not always the easy way. Nonetheless, I would like to leave some imparting (and possibly humorous) words of wisdom. Over the time ive spent online, browsing through guys like a damn Ikea catalouge, I have come to the realization that NO ONE IS EVER AS THEY SEEM. No, dont argue. I do not care if youve added them on facebook and stalked them on Snapchat. CAMERAS CAN LIE. I dont care if he looks like Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg had a wacky (albeit ingenious) science experiment and they had a devestatingly handsome baby. Keep in mind filters and angles can make just about anyone look good. That goes for both men and women. Yes ladies im talking about you. If you arent comfortable enough with yourself to let a stranger see the real you, then how do you expect to truly find someone who loves you for you? I am not completely heartless, nor am I a virgin to using a snapchat filter a time or two (or five) but there are ways to keep it real and get away with it. You may be wondering why I brought this up? Heres why: I have had more than once, met some one online, thought they were handsome in their photos,(Yes photos can be altered, but I always look at all photos. They may not show the real guy behind the profile, but there is always a lot you can infer from their pictures. but i will touch bac on that at another time.) Back to my story, I usually am very good at picking out the phonies from the real. Like I said earlier, ive got some experience in this area. So the other day im bored talking to people online and this one guy hits me up wanting to hang out. He was super sweet and his pics werent too bad so I decided to roll with it and take him up on his offer. We talked for a week and to me thats better than most guys who just send a HEY and then ask for nudes. He came to pick me up and when i met him in person I was a little bit dissapointed that his pictures online didnt seem to really look like him too much. But im not shallow so I decided to give him a chance. He was a sweetheart and absolute gentleman, but i just wasnt attracted to him. If theres no chemistry, theres no chemistry. Plain and simple. Cant force it. Anyways, two hours later he dropped me off at home (we just sat and talked the whole time.) Overall i enjoyed the experience but in the back of my mind I knew he wasnt what i was looking for. Not that i know what that is, but maybe someday ill find that story book romance. The kind that takes your breath away and covers your skin with goosepimples. (meh, a girl can dream right?) The sad part is that i considered myself almost a pro at weeding out the guys who i know are a waste of time and those who arent. I had kissed more than my fair share of toads. Like the first time i tried online dating... (Hilarious flashback) I had just started out on this dating app, after getting my heart handed to me extra well done, and i obviously had no clue what i was doing. this kid(i think he lied about his age cause i thought he was 21 or 22, but in person he looked 12) starts chatting with me. We find out that we both liked to smoke and he seemed cool. He wanted to meet and i was lonely and depressed enough that i agreed to let him come over. His profile pics made him look like a redheaded justin beiber and i thought to myself, now brittany, youve never ever had good luck with redheads. But i chose to ignore that side of the brain. He called me unable to find the address so i met him outside. He got out of his car and lets just say, Justin Beiber? not even close. The kid knew that if he did his hair just like beibers in his photos, hed get more girls. But what he didnt realize is that if your going to use that to your advantage, maybe take the time to do it outside of just for your profile pictures. So, he asks what i would like to do, and i can already tell im not going to like this kid. Mainly because he was very indecisive, and i had to eventually tell him what we were going to do because i got tired of getting in and out of his car. So we decide to chill and smoke. My close friends know i can be a bit of a snob when it comes to marijuana. But i was born and raised in california. When your used to the best, other stuff is almost unsmokable. The entire reason i agreed to meet him may have been selfish on my part, he did say he would bring some and i hate smoking alone, so i guess i deserved what happened next. He pulls out his bag and then apologizes because he only brought a nug with him. But after i smelled it and looked at it i told him to forget it and we would smoke what i had. I could tell he was a little immature just from him trying to converse with me. It was obvious he thought this would be a hookup. He was like a teenager on prom night, bouncing around, nervous and looking for an excuse just to touch me. Of course he would be leaving disappointed. Not only was he starting to annoy me, but he brought crappy ass weed to my apartment. If you are a stoner, then you know how insulting that is. Somehow, amid his incessant chatter, a spider had made it to his face and was hanging off his nose. I couldnt stop staring at it! I wondered while he continued to talk, if he felt it at all. I was so fascinated by it i think he finally noticed and tried to slyly wipe at his nose. It took him three tries before he managed to rid himself of the arachnid. And cruelly i had wished it would bite him just so he would leave. As if my lack of effort in his one sided conversation wasnt enough of a clue that i wasnt interested, he then proceeded to sit next to me. He complimented me and then asked if he could kiss me. I didnt even reply before he leaned in and tried to toungue my closed mouth. I couldnt help it, I laughed. It was like kissing a relative. Not in an incestuous way, but in a awkward and not enjoyable in ANY way. I could tell i hurt his feelings when i pushed him away (the laughing part didnt help either) but at that point i was ready to enjoy the rest of the night with my favorite person: me. Luckily he finally got the hint and announced he was leaving because i obviously wasnt into him or having a good time... I was a little taken aback. I didnt think he could tell that i was getting fed up. I felt bad and lied to him, claiming exhaustion was the reason. Well it didnt work so he finally said he was just going to leave. I was too relieved to care. Needless to say i never talked to him again. Not that he didnt try! You would think a guy would take a hint and find someone who actually liked him. But thats what the block button is for, haha. (yes i know im heartless) And that leads us back to rule #1: Dont always expect to see the guy in the profile picture. 9 times out of 10 they took the pic when they were in highschool 5 years ago, or they angle it just right that you cant tell if theyre obese or not (again, not shallow, ive dated guys of all sizes) Or they just dont know how to take pics at all and look terrible in all of them. OR my personal fav, the guess who. (its where most of their pics are of them with other guy friends, most the time hotter friends, so you spend all this time trying to figure out which one is the actual sn: bicycleman007 or some lame shit. Only to spend the next 10 mins scrolling until i finally find an alone shot only to reveal that he wasnt the one on the left that i thought was hot. (ok this thing is getting longer than i thought. Time to wrap it up lol) One last thing that I think is just as important if not more so than rule number one: Rule #2: TRUST YOUR GUT. No exceptions, no excuses. JUST DO IT. 10 times out of 10 my gut has been right. That May be just a tad bit of an exaggeration, but seriously you will not feel guilt or regret when you follow your gut. Everytime i have followed it, I jump up in the air and do a dance because i was right and i did the right thing and felt so amazing afterward. The unfortunate times i failed to listen to that tiny inner voice, ive wanted to kick myself right in the tit. with boots on. But oh well, you live and learn and grow from it. Or vent on a blog with my absurdly long post. (just for those certain opinionated people, im not always right, everyone experiences things differently and in their own way.. this is just my experience. take it or leave it but dont be a douche about it. lol) Well thats it for now, but i will be putting more of my crazy experiences and tips for dating later. -b