#dont ask me about the coloring it's the most random i've done as of today

[iwishf1wasreal]

(minus a few who were too hard to find arrival pics of) no one asked for this and yet!!!! here we are!!!

*obligatory disclaimer* these are just my opinions. this is not criticism about how the drivers look or their physical appearance. this is not to rank the drivers on anything other than their choices/outfits. plz do not take this seriously, i am just a random weird woman posting online. i have no credibility, only passion and rage.

CATEGORY #1 - SERVING (THE POSITIVES)

P1: LEWIS HAMILTON

I MEAN....LIKE WE SAY IT EVERY TIME...

do i wish it wasn't an old navy tank top tunic dress? yes. but his supple breasts are out...... i cant focus on anything else.....my heart beats in my ears... dont ask me what color the anything is. I DONT KNOW I CANT SEE IT

P2: LANDO NORRIS

Perhaps the MOST surprising pick for me. Is Lando hot??????????? I've been asking myself this for months......he also seems to be entering his fashion girl era. (FINALLY!!!) He was pictured in an Aimé sweatshirt (A JUMPA for ur english and former english colony folk) so i have high hopes. Maybe I'm just seduced by his Dutch battle scars but he really came thru today. at first i thought he was in miyake and i was literally going to go BALD. but its not :( the brand is basically an even more expensive Zara lmao but...baby steps lol

P3: FERNANDO ALONSO

When Kevin Jz Prodigy chants 'eating the old way! serving the old way! serving the old way!', they meant that about grandpa stunting in head to toe WAG white. he's got the youthful shoes, casual polo with the dad fit, linen trousers for the swap weather. its classic. reminding all the wags who the real bad bitch is.

P4: ZHOU GUANYU

The media is doing him sooo dirty by not showing the back of his jersey!! its not my favorite look he's ever done but it's only media day. i think he looks great in red and i love the blackletter font on the back. I do wish the front was a little cuter but his pants are really cool (sorry theyre cropped out lol) and he's still giving personality and taste!

P6: OSCAR PIASTRI

ok yes he does have the 6th grade boy who's still close with his mother fit on under the jersey but he's always stayed true to who he is. i like that he's worn jerseys to races/race locations he seems excited about like he wore one in Melbourne for his home race. AND this one is signed?! he came with a goal in mind and it was to GAG the fellow jocks at the paddock. jock4jock if you will. gotta respect it.

P7: YUKI TSUNODA

it's a basic serve but a serve nonetheless. he's comfy, he's casual and looks good. i like this color on him a lot and the contrast between the pink and red is fun. hair is looking super good too!!! this is gonna be a good weekend for him, i'm demanding it from the universe!!

P8: VALTERRI BOTTAS & LANCE STROLL

A tie because they're both just on the diva in a tee vibe. You can't blame a comfort queen for being one! The color is nice on Lance and Val is sporting that farm's tan well.

CATEGORY #2 - CHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (THE BAD AND THE MEH)

P8: LOGAN SARGENT & ALEX ALBON

Another tie because they both just came in team livery. that's literally the only reason they were included in this category. though it pains me to rate alex anything other than handsome, wifed and successful. he does look great in them trousers and who can resist him in blue! hoping for a little creativity (arriving with lily) tomorrow!! as for logan...this is ur home race.....i better see something real special and/or Floridian tomorrow or ELSE.........CHOP!!!

P9: DANIEL RICCIARDO

I know the girls are not gonna like this one. But i must speak my truth.....even if you won't hear it....

I don't think anyone is surprised he's wearing his own merch. It would be better for me if it was a little more interesting than his last few releases of just his brand's logo but I like the color and detailing. He's, of course, wearing the wrong size. Personally, if i were trying to promote my own brand, I would perfect tailor the shirt to fit my body so it looked like the best shirt i've ever worn. The Purse by Dre is probably the best part if only because its so stupid and useless. The cargo pants....look, as a former fan, I know that he prefers to dress in baggier clothes. I'm not knocking him for that--who doesn't love a billowing tee to hide the body tea but when you're a 35 year old millionaire...why do your pants not fit you. This is saggy crotch and diaper butt territory. From a styling perspective, sometimes wearing oversized clothes only makes you look smaller. Like you're drowning in your own clothes. That's what it always looks like to me with DR. I know he's interested in fashion and yeah maybe he is still on my shit list but for someone of his status and with the level of resources he has at his disposal...like this man went to the MET GALA with an actually good nEW YORK BASED DESIGNER. what is this...CHOPPPPP

LAST PLACE (THERES NOT THAT MANY SORRY): FUCKASS FERRARI CARLOSER SAINZ AND CHARLES LECHOP!!!!!!!!!

Ugh. heavy on my mind AND my spirit. Never has powdered blue made me so viscerally annoyed. Normally I love this color but not like this. If the design was actually good, I would still hate it but lucky for a hater like me, the design is SOOOOOOOOO hideous. I guess one of the top ten corporations ruining our planets wasn't enough of a steal for them, they had to add a double whammy for genocide blood money too! Puma AND Hp? It's like they thought the BDS chart was a bingo card. The mechanic style name tags are a nice touch too. Very down to earth for millionaires who's private plane usage might be able to rival THAT woman. Blue collar cosplay is kinda fun when you don't actually have to live paycheck to paycheck! Its nice that their name tages are so low too, so you remember that they've sold their souls out to corporations. It's really only a matter of time before a thirst photoshoot with laptops come out or Charles shoves his puppy into a printer. But hey! At least Charles is investing in the local community! Always nice to see million dollar homes sell when the cost of living for a normal person is 30% over the national average in a city where it's illegal to sleep on the streets🥰 CHOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ok yes, i am aware these men are all millionaires and only one of them have so much as acknowledged the mass murder of Palestinians. but i'll talk my shit forever if it means there's just one person talking about the real world in the f1 space. FREE PALESTINE. BELIEVE WOMEN. FUCK COMFORTABILITY AND THESE MEN WHO PROTECT EACH OTHER. THEY NEVER WANTED US IN THIS SPORT TO BEGIN WITH, ALL THE MORE REASON TO REMIND THEM I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!)

sorry for the rant. this was originally going to be about fashion. and it still is. sorta. BYE

[transimailisa]

“You ride like a northman, milady,"