#don't worry it's probably lame compared to whatever you guys all think lmao

[windup-dragoon]

“You’re Not Alone”

Word Count: 1,535  Kiri x Hien  Post ShB / Some Spoilers 

Previously, “Welcome Back” 

Next: Light Upon the Lost

Last: Stand by Me

Doma was beautiful when the blossoms were in full bloom. Bursts of delightful pink that scattered on the breeze, falling as if raindrops around her. Sunshine broke through the branches in dazzling curtains, much like rays of light piercing the surface of the ocean. Alive and warm, dancing and shifting with the current and the wind. 

At her feet, a blanket of fallen blossoms that dusted the stonework of the enclave. She knelt to pluck one, to feel the silk soft petals between her fingertips. If she had been given the means, surely she would have gathered them all in her arms and tossed them over head, to be caught on the wind and set free once more. 

“Kirishimi?” A voice beckoned. 

In response she rose with eyes alight. She knew the voice now. So well, like a tune one simply does not forget. With it stirred a beating in her chest and a tightness in her lungs, excitement. 

Hien was calling for her. 

Yet when mismatched eyes came to rest upon his image there was no smile painted across his lips, or a laugh that echoed. Instead his body pitched forward and brought him to his knees writhing in pain. 

All at once her world shifted. A candle snuffed out. Cerulean blue skies that stretched miles overhead in an instant became heavy with ebony ink. The sun was a fiery eclipse, an eye opening and glaring down upon her. The petals of lost blossoms nothing more than cottony white feathers. 

Ice filled her veins. Her skin felt alive, slithering like serpents and constricting her. The air grew heavy with soot and ash, a familiar scent that made her gag. Carried on the wind she could make out distant cries, women and children alike screaming out for mercy. 

It was Holminster Switch all over again. 

“Hie-!!” A failure of her voice produced bile. Splattered at her feet, like pearls liquefied, the familiar telltale sign of the light and its scourge rotting her from the inside. 

Another try, desperate to call his name. More putrid substance welled on her tongue and spilled over her lips. 

“Kirishimi, why?” Hien’s voice became a whisper against the din of rupturing fires and collapsing buildings. Kirishimi looked up through tear strained eyes, horrified to see the once prince of Doma now tainted by the light; a mess of contorted limbs and twitching wings. 

“All you know how to do is survive...” A whisper at her ear. The voice itself was unfamiliar but it made Kirishimi shiver. Death itself would have been a pleasure to hear instead. 

Fear permeated her body. As if the sickening rot from the light hadn’t been enough. Now her own muscles betrayed her; a mind begging her not to look at the owner of this hushed tone. So delicate it came but felt no less than ice. 

“Others die... but we survive.” 

- - - 

Thunder cracked in the distance. 

Kiri jolted at the sound, having felt as if shaken awake by the din. Panic had her heart pounding in her ears while she gasped for air, no longer choking on the stagnant light that filled her mouth like blood but moments ago. Despite the humidity in the air, thanks to the approaching thunderstorm and a window left open, she couldn’t control the violent shaking in her hands; the ice that skimmed her skin and chilled her to her core. She drew herself close, knees to her chest as a sob croaked in her throat. 

Another dream. A nightmare that haunted her. Tears spilled down the crest of her cheeks, dampening her blanket and getting caught in her lashes. 

She was many things; strong, determined, kind, and cheerful. But alone? When the darkness whispered corrosive taunts and belittled her beneath closed eyes? She was weak, broken, and above all else, scared. The thought of giving her life up for the people of the First hadn’t even been a question at the time, she would have gladly given it and more. Of course it terrified her, she was only mortal, after all. But with death no longer looming over head and a future restored... What then was it that scared her so? 

A knock rasped at the door and suddenly she was made aware of her surroundings. The bedding beneath and around her was unfamiliar but soft and plush, even as it was laid out on the floor. Faint light accompanied with the occasional flash of lightning came in through a window, illuminating just enough of the room around her to tell she was not in Eorzea. 

“Kirishimi, are you awake?” A whisper breathed through the door had the Dragoon feeling light headed. So... She really had run off to Doma? 

With a hand knotting through snowy locks and a sigh at her lips, she returned the whisper. “Yes. Come in.” 

Softly the door peeled back and light poured in, temporarily blinding her as it absorbed the long stretches of shadow and ate the gloom. A gentle, ever so tiny flickering flame of a lit candle, casting dancing shadows across Hien’s features. He closed the door quietly behind him, the paper doors here in Doma so light they hardly made a sound to begin with. 

Greeted with a light smile, twisted as it was by the candles light, Kirishimi swore the ice that pricked her skin had begun to melt. Still, she drew her blankets close and turned her gaze elsewhere. 

He was speechless while he observed the room. The blankets tossed about and twisted around her, the mess of her hair in knots from thrashing, and her shivering frame. The young lord sat himself down by the door where he stood, the candle carefully placed to the side. 

“You look awful.” Hien spoke with the lightest touch of a laugh in his voice; half teasing but honest. 

“How many times do I gotta suffer hearin’ that today?” She groaned, resting her forehead on the tops of her knees. 

“Today?” He repeated in surprise. “Kirishimi... I don’t believe you’ve had visitors today.” To this the woman tilted her head just enough to peer at him through knotted locks. “Well, never mind that for now. How are you fairing?” 

“Said so yerself, I look awful. Sums up how I feel...” Awful felt like a gross understatement. Hideous and vile? More accurate. She felt as though snakes wore her skin and she, nothing more than a grotesque puppet. Although the First had been restored and the Lightwardens vanquished... how much longer would she have to endure this maddening disease of the mind? That every slight creak of her bones or twist of her stomach had her weary the light had returned. The feeling she was still a threat to those around her. Toxic. 

“Kirishimi,” Hien moved to take her hand in his, stretching the small distance between them, but hesitated when she flinched. His voice faltered before he swallowed. “You needn’t explain what took place on your journey, if that is your desire, but please allow me to be of some assistance? I will lend you my ear and shoulder if that is your wish. You need not shy from me.” 

Even in the dim light Kiri saw the glimmer of sorrow in his steady gaze. Had he felt as helpless in this as she was? He endeavored to inspire her once before, at Ghimlyt Dark, with honey sweet words about a favorable future for everyone. But for this? The enormity of all she had gone through, what she and the other Warriors of Darkness, had survived; how did one even begin to provide succor? 

His smile wavered when her response was silence. A roll of distant thunder echoed between them. 

“I- ... Uh, I will let you sleep, then.” Hien’s tone had changed. It made her heart ache. The hand he had so nearly used to reach for her own now searched instead for the candle at his side. 

Then stopped. 

Her hand, calloused as it was, took his and squeezed. He was warm; a strong burning fire in the dead of winter. Kirishimi drew his hand toward herself and pressed her forehead to his knuckles. 

“I don’t wanna hurt anyone,” With her head lowered and hair obscuring her features from his view, Kiri allowed the wrenching feeling in her chest to take control. Her lips quivered on stammered words, tears causing the colors of the room to bleed together. She hiccuped with hushed crying. “But I don’t wanna be alone!” 

The hand she held, damp with tears, moved to cup her cheek. Such heat generated from a simple touch; it felt like fire against her ice kissed flesh. She pressed her cheek into his palm, too afraid to look at the man before her. Vulnerable and broken had never been her forte. It made her feel weak, ill suited to be a Warrior of Light but... It also made her feel human. 

“You are never alone, Kirishimi.” 

With another crash of thunder outside, Hien pulled the Dragoon close, snatching the blanket as an afterthought and drawing it around her still shaking shoulders. Carefully he reached over and snuffed out the candle between his index finger and thumb.