#don't worry Lucien dies like 3 times they'll be fine

[isarenderart]

Posting this on the artblog bc even though it's not visual, it still counts

So a while back I started working on a fanfic for No Man's Sky titled Nest, but I've only written like 2 chapters and found it hard to get motivation to keep writing linearly. However the related OCs are still very much in my head and are doing things, and here I've written a small except from somewhere in the middle of the story - more context provided under cut. Do let me know what you guys think, I'm considering doing more of these to try and build up the story

⚠️CW: Themes of death.

Important story context (contains plot spoilers for the full story). This isn't the best as a standalone piece, but it might make more sense to those who already have some knowledge of the characters

This excerpt is set aboard the frigate NH9 Broken Sword, which Zed (he/him) and October (they/them) have returned to after Zed's Korvax friend Lucien (they/them) was destroyed in a fight with Evil Plant.

Zed's relation to October: they used to be good friends, but one of October's experiments in their attempts to understand their existence resulted in Zed getting hurt. Zed destroyed important equipment in anger/pain, and October was so angry at Zed for this that they just yelled at him and told him to leave. After that, the two didn't see each other for years, but were forced to work together again due to the Evil Plant. In that time October has not been able to come as close to answers as they did with that experiment.

end context

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“Do you remember the time when we…”

“Hm?”

October trailed off. They knew what they were trying to say, but couldn’t finish the sentence.

Zed’s dark gaze returned to his hands; the air remained unshifting and numb. October felt like they were still in their spacesuit. They were certain that desperation could not fail them, but now it was a thing of constraint – they could not be stronger than the quiet incredulity in the line of Zed’s shoulders, than the dark sheen of the frigate’s metal floors.

In Lucien, whose visage October feared regardless of whether it was puppeted by vines or that unfathomable Sentinel-soul, Zed had found something that ran so deep it tied the two together inextricably. Now, despite what hope remained of repairing them, the frigate hummed its dusky mourning, and the remains of that tie were threaded through hands that tried to stop themselves from shaking by picking at the loose scales along their palms.

How different was it from their own pain? An image returned to them of a body hunched against the terminal of an Atlas Station, pleading quietly and shakily for one more chance, one more chance. Then suddenly all their desperate rage would burn through them in a torrent which strained against the boundaries of their flesh and left no mark upon the silent metal. They’d been here before. They knew this would happen from the start.

But the difference between them was clear. They had grieved because they had burned away their last tie to the substance of emotion, in the very pursuit of such a thing.

Zed was grieving because he had lost a friend.

Do you remember me? they had wanted to ask. Lost data searching for some hint of recognition. But they knew they had no power here, nor in any place so haunted by reality.