#don't travel to a place in hopes that a youtuber or celebrity will be there. thats like going to korea to meet bts

[greeniscosmic]

I’m going to New York with the soul intention of finding New York friends and meet Jschlatt

creepy reason for going but i hope u find some New York friends ❤️

[bethsvrse]

Hello!! I appreciate that you don’t write for people with existing relationships so could you do something for maybe Tobi has a huge crush on one of Faiths female friends that he met when out with Ethan and fair or something?? I really enjoy your writing ML 🫶🏽

PAIRING Tobi Brown x fem!reader

WARNINGS nothing <3

Tobi initially planned to spend a quiet evening at home, enjoying some movies, perhaps ordering a pizza, and then going to bed. However, due to the 10-year anniversary celebration of the Sidemen, he felt compelled to join his friends at a pub to have a wild night.

All of his friends were present, commemorating his and his brothers’ accomplishments. Tobi stood on the sidelines, observing his friends dancing in the midst of the crowd, capturing the moments on camera. Tobi was quite happy that he doesn’t drink, knowing for certain that his friends would regret their actions in the morning when these videos are shared on social media.

Suddenly, Tobi heard someone calling his name and turned around to see Faith, Ethan's girlfriend, bringing another girl towards him. He furrowed his brow in confusion, as he had never met this girl before.

Faith stood in front of Tobi, releasing the hand of the beautiful girl. "Tobi, this is my friend Y/N. Y/N, meet Tobi," Faith introduced, with the girl offering a shy greeting.

"I'm about to hit the dance floor, and to prevent Y/N from feeling awkward standing alone, I thought she could stay with you," Faith pointed dramatically in Tobi's direction. "That way, you both won't look too out of place."

"Faith..." Y/N hesitated, not wanting to make Tobi uncomfortable just because her best friend was trying to set her up with one of her boyfriend's friends.

"Shh!" Faith placed a finger on Y/N's lips, clearly already intoxicated. "I want to join the dance floor, and I don't want to leave my best friend alone."

With that, Faith walked away and headed straight for the dance floor, grooving to one of Kanye West's songs that had just started playing.

Y/N pursed her lips, leaning against the same wall that Tobi was leaning on, feeling even more awkward now. She desperately searched her mind for conversation starters, all while Tobi couldn't help but admire the stunning woman standing beside him.

His eyes roamed up and down, attempting to take in her entire appearance.

Tobi cleared his throat, attempting to break the silence. "So, uh, Faith didn't give you much of a choice, did she?"

Y/N chuckled nervously. "Not exactly. I hope this isn't too awkward for you. I didn't really sign up for a blind date tonight."

Tobi giggled, feeling the tension ease a bit. "No worries. I was just planning on a quiet night, but fate had other ideas, it seems."

Y/N nodded, glancing at the dance floor. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting to be here either. I'm not much of a party person, Faith kinda dragged me along."

Tobi chuckled, "Me neither, actually. I prefer the comfort of my movie nights."

As they exchanged small talk, Tobi discovered that Y/N loves photography and her traveling and Y/N learnt more about Tobi's YouTube career and she found out about his love for working out. The awkwardness began to fade, replaced by genuine interest.

Suddenly, Faith returned, still dancing energetically. "How's it going, you two?"

Tobi and Y/N exchanged glances, both unsure of what to say.

Faith laughed, "Relax, I'm just checking in. Enjoying your forced company?"

Tobi grinned, "Actually, not so bad."

Y/N nodded in agreement, "Yeah, it's been surprisingly pleasant."

Faith, satisfied with their responses, danced away again, leaving Tobi and Y/N alone once more.

As the night progressed, they found themselves laughing and sharing stories. However, when the clock struck midnight, Y/N checked her phone.

"I should probably head home. Early day tomorrow," she said, a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

Tobi nodded, "Yeah, I get that. It was nice meeting you, though."

Y/N smiled, "You too, Tobi."

As Y/N left, Tobi couldn't help but smile, realizing that sometimes unexpected nights turned out to be the most memorable.

Tobi's eyes followed Y/N as she walked through the crowd. The lively atmosphere of the celebration buzzed around him, but his thoughts were focused on the intriguing girl who had unexpectedly become his companion for the night. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should catch up with her, but then got distracted by Simon, one of his friends, who dragged him into a group photo.

As the flash of the camera illuminated the room, Tobi's mind raced, trying to recall if he had exchanged contact information with Y/N. The realization hit him just as he turned back to look for her, but she was already gone.

"Hey, do you guys see Y/N leave? The girl Faith brought" Tobi asked, scanning the crowd.

His friends exchanged puzzled glances, and Vikk replied, "I saw her leave a few minutes ago.”

Tobi sighed, frustration evident on his face. "Great, I forgot to get her number."

Ethan, overhearing the conversation, chimed in, "Smooth, Tobi. Don't worry though, Faith has her number, ask her for it."

Tobi thanked Ethan before going to find Faith on the dance floor. He tapped her on the shoulder, and amidst the music, he shouted, "Hey, Faith! Do you have Y/N's number?"

Faith paused in her dance moves, trying to hear Tobi over the music. "Y/N's number? Why do you need that?”

"We got along well, and I forgot to get her number before she left," Tobi explained.

Faith grinned mischievously, "Well, well, looks like someone's got a crush. Don't worry, I've got you covered. Let me find it on my phone."

Faith fumbled with her phone, scrolling through her contacts as the bass thumped in the background. Tobi tapped his foot impatiently, regretting not securing Y/N's number earlier.

After what felt like an eternity, Faith triumphantly declared, "Got it!" She showed Tobi Y/N's contact info on her phone.

"Thanks, Faith. You're a lifesaver," Tobi said, relieved, adding Y/N to his contacts.

Faith winked, "Just make sure to treat her right. I'm her best friend, after all."

[rainbowbarnacle]

WHEW I did a ton of traveling over the weekend and I got home yesterday evening and I just now finished catching up with my dash

HI EVERYBODY HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I went with @vastderp to Nebraska to attend the life celebration of his deceased brother.

We stayed with Luka's sister, who has this wonderfully chill apartment with two adorable goofball chihuahuas living in it. The three of us had amazing fun talking and watching youtube videos and being silly, it was awesome. <3 And she gave me some of her gorgeous handmade jewelry. My dresser is approximately 300% sparklier now. The life celebration was really nice. We gathered in a park. There was lots of food and friends and loved ones, and lots of folks brought their dogs with them, and I just kinda wandered around and listened to people share memories and stories and catch up with each other.

also something sort of hilarious and wonderful happened--while we were packing up the food to leave, we kept seeing guys in suits showing up, and it turns out they were planning on using our bit of the park next in a wedding reception

buuut there were also construction workers around, I guess, and apparently the father of the bride was so determined that they get to use the park on this day (which was admittedly very cool and nice out, especially for August) that he bribed the construction workers and hid all the construction tools in the forest so the workers had no choice but to leave

(he also informed the construction company, so everyone knew what was going on, they just couldn't do anything about it)

and the construction workers were absolutely FINE with that arrangement, they were like "hey this guy just gave us beer money for the rest of the week, we're good, happy reception everybody!" and Luka's sister was like HEY WANNA HELP US EAT ALL THIS CHICKEN? and they were like YEAH GIMMIE)

and when we were putting stuff in the car, we saw more people in fancy clothes show up (there was one guy in a tux who was walking around with a lint roller, and I dunno why but I thought that was adorable) and then we saw the briiide and she looked gorgeous and one of luka's relatives was like "hey your dad's a badass, have a happy wedding!!"

I never knew Luka's brother, but judging by all the stories I heard about him, I think he would have gotten a kick out of that.

After the celebration, we got to go to @shunted5934's place! (it was SO GREAT finally getting to meet you! :D) I was delighted to meet several sheep, some chickens, some horses, two kitties, and a 90 pound mastiff boxer mix named NALA who was the biggest sweetheart in the world and shed all over me. <3

And, yeah, overall it was just this big wonderful busy three days. I don't think I've talked so much or met so many people at once in... I dunno, at least a decade. X)

IT'S SO GOOD TO BE HOME THOUGH

I think Beabea has finally forgiven me for vanishing.

I HOPE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WELL <3 <3 <3

[marengogo]

Silver Lining - What If #8 : Min & Kook or Busan Brothers?

Neuron by J-Hope (with Gaeko & YOON MIRAE) focused playlist.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Ladies, Gentlemen and Distinguished Enbies: HELLO!

How is everyone? Hope you are all enjoying this little break, if you celebrate Easter, and if for any reason you didn’t get a break either you don’t celebrate Easter, or you are part of the “holiday working class” I hope you are at least safe and serene 💜. All that said, let me tell you;

It’s incredible what a few days off can do, aye?!

For one I've been very vivid dreams and, for two, I’m actually in the mood of writing posts, would you look at that! AND BY THE WAY I keep forgetting to do this, but I will at some point later today I need to write an advisory note for the Sonyeondan Colosseum as I haven’t been there in a while but I still get aspiring gladiators, who are dying to participate, and albeit fun, at the moment, I really don't have that much time, to provide these fighters with the appropriate match they deserve 😫. So it is only right that I rely the appropriate information, as I do believe I run a fine institution and as such I am sorry for allowing my administration to slack real life suddenly got so busy and interesting that I didn’t, and still don't, have time to play, but who knows what the future holds right?! There just might appear a contender so unique, I might not resist the urge for a little tussle.

Anyways, back to the topic of this post, as it is sort of a continuation of this one → Solstice & Equinox, it is indeed about the Jikook Travel vlog we still no absolutely nothing about, but of which I woke up with thoughts/ideas about, hence, why I’ve placed this post, yet again, in my Silver Lining series 🤡. In my previous post I tried to predict the vlogs' scheduling, in this post I would like to talk about the possible style this vlog might take, while making, as always, educated guesses and also diving into JK’s filmmaking style.

⚠️I MOST LIKELY WILL WAX HELLA POETIC OVER A LOT OF FILMMAKING STRUCTURES, SO BE HELLA WARNED⚠️

Let’s start right off the bat with:

Also if you are NOT familiar with “Youtuber” Jimin, below is a little summary:

As you can probably tell by some of the ss because there are so many more, believe me!, JM is very enthusiastic about vlogging and, as we all know, JK is very enthusiastic about producing video related content as well as taking it further when he directed Life Goes On for example. Both JM and JK consume copious amounts of video content, be it movies, dramas, anime or shows and they often seem to be watching the same shows as well. Reason why, perhaps, they often seem to be the only privy of their media related inside jokes.

Now, imagine loving to watch shows so much and having as a significant other someone whom not only has so much footage/pictures of you which will never see btw 🤡 but also has the skills to potentially make a show out of you, or with you, because they also enjoy the same thing, what would you do? Sure, you like travelling and he is not too big into that, but some time 7 years ago this person not only took you on a trip, but also found the most memorable way to immortalise this for you, resulting in this person producing more and more travel vlogs. Not sure if JK has come to enjoy travelling, but one thing is for sure; 

he seems to enjoy making one helluva good vlog out of it.

Now, before we get into the reason for my title (Min & Kook or Busan Brother?) let’s look into JK’s filmmaking style THIS IS WHERE I AM SURE I WILL NERD OUT, and in order to do this we will look into two of particular videos, as I feel like their travel vlog could be a mixture of this two: 

VIDEO 1: [BTS VLOG] Jung Kook l CAMPING VLOG

VIDEO 2: G.C.F in Budapest

Let’s start from VIDEO 1. This was a series of vlogs we got from each of the members and were posted on BANGTANTV between July 9, 2022 and December 10, 2022 as always with the Tannies, the actual filming dates may or may not be close to the time they were posted. There are many different types of vlogs out there, because many are the different interests of viewers out there. When looking at our boys, you can clearly see theri vlogs divided in 3 specific types of vlogs:

“HOW TO”-vlog: In this type of video, usually the hosts want to learn to do something, and so they either attempt or they are a master in said craft to do said something, while showing the viewer step-by-step, with the intent/hope that the viewer can learn or feel inspired to want to do it as well.

Jin

Yoongi

JM

“CELEBRITY LIFE”-vlog: This type of video, we follow a typical/particular day in the life of a celebrity. There is usually not so much editing done, and it gives very much the feeling of watching a reality TV show.

Tae

Hobi

“TRAVEL”-vlog: These are usually specifically about showcasing cities, spaces, activities. They are very action filled, so they will not have as many static shots as, for example, the previous two themes 

Joonie

JK

Even though JK and Joonie have the same style of vlog, there is something that JK has, which all the other 6 don’t, which is his own “colour”.

JK has a very specific style that is unique to himself within the group, and you can notice in the editing, which makes me think he often takes part in, whereas, even though the type of vlog is different for the other 6 members, the style of editing is the same for all of them. When I say that JK adds his own colour, I mean that, for example, he so often breaks the 4th wall in very conventional and unconventional ways and this is something I've noticed only he does actually in Bangtan. 

Aside from JK’s Film Colour, I do believe that this is also an indication of how long we can hope their travel vlog to be. In the end the main event was camping, with other events as well and it was edited to 45mins, which is a long ass video for this type of vlog, it basically means that they realistically had hours of footage and at least 3 type of campers, which I will get into in my next point.

GCF in Budapest has all of JK’s colours as of 2023. 

This video is the result of 6 years during which he filmed, edited and directed different projects. GCF in Budapest is very professional, and even though he didn’t do the final edit on this, he did direct it, meaning that there wasn’t a single shot that he hadn’t planned, requested or approved of. Basically, JK is the person that instructed other camera-people the times he wasn’t filming himself as to what shot he needed and wanted for the final project, all the way from principal, to secondary, footage I DON’T THINK YOU CAN’T BUT I’M ABOUT TO NERD OUT, RIGHT NOW. Following are the notable structures in this GCF, with related explanations/examples:

Non-static self-filming - This is the typical vlog style where the main subject is filming himself. But in his case he seems to favour this type of shots when he is moving the most, as if he wants us to fill like we are really travelling with him, as opposed to constantly placing the camera on the surface, not moving, and talking. 

B-Roll Footage - is also known as “filler footage”. Usually there is no talking or nothing of importance, but they are quite good for either transitions or comic relief. I LOVE B-ROLL FOOTAGE and JK uses it so well. I believe that b-rolls fit JK so well because of his personality, he tends to space out so often that, in the filmmaking context, this type of footage offers a way to show this dimension of his personality, for example, himself goofing off in the b-roll is perhaps what he does in his head when he is spacing out in real life. 

Traditional filming - This is your typical main subject being filmed by a camera-person. As there seem to be two different angles during this type of shot, there were at least 2 different people filming him I will not go deep into the type of camera/s that were you as this is not that kind of post. 

Establishing shots - This are shots that make the viewer know where and when something is happening, and they are extremely important in film-making, but not really in vlogging as the title of the vlog already tells you where and sometimes when, if not you’ll find out in the dialog you are, but it is exactly this kind of touch that makes his work feel very cinematographic.

All the aforementioned, are characteristics that I am expecting to see in their travel blog and I am soooooo much looking forward to check our the whole crew, if by any chance we get a roll end credit scene 🥹 to be honest, going back to video 1, since they were in each known location for more than a day, they could make at least 2 self-sufficient vlogs but hey ….

JK surely came a long way from GCF in Tokyo, didn’t he? And even though he hasn’t produced a GCF with the same colours ever since, there was something that was:

To me, filming is the art of skilfully deceiving, while  willfully being deceived, during a specific amount of time, after which we all go back to our realities unharmed or “not”, depending on the depth of the film.

Films are like magic.

But what is filming for JK? To be veeeeery honest with you, the person who has a future in acting amongst the Tannies is Kim Taehyung, yet, the two people who can for sure act, on the silver-screen, are Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung … so why do I feel like Tae is the only only that has a future in this field? Because Tae can live for and with it. Just knowing how to act is not enough, you have to want to be an actor, for real-real. You know how Hobi breathes dancing? Tae breathes out imaginary characters in a similar way, reason why I can see him having a very prolific career as an actor as well.

Now ... why do I bring this up?

If JK just wanted to become a movie director alongside being the amazing musician he is, he’s had the perfect subject/s to do so. So why has he been so fixated with filming JM? JM is not the type of subject you can use for a long film, sure, he likes to act with his friends, but I don't think that cinema glory is one of his objectives in life I may be very wrong. He can perform/dance like hell crazy for the camera, HANDS FUCKING DOWN, but, once again, serious silver-screen acting isn’t what he wants. So, once again, given a choice of Tae and Jin;

Why JM?

TIME FOR TIN HATS Y’ALL HURRY 👏🏾 HURRY👏🏾 HURRY! 📢

I, Marengo, think that JK had always intended to make GCF in Tokyo as merely a video to preserve the happy memories, during a hard moment in their lives, which they spent together. This video-gift was specifically intended, for JM, in the style that JM mostly appreciated at the time, which might have happened to be YT vlogs. While editing his video, JK perhaps realised that it might have been a bit on the nose, so he added establishing b-roll shots of Tokyo, thinking it might have been enough to divert the attention from JM; but unfortunately failed. For a few reasons, but mainly, the lack of any spoken words in my opinion. 

The thing is that for the purposes of what i think his objective was, words were absolutely not needed. “Look! See how happy you were here! It doesn’t matter how shit things are, we can still be happy; You can still be happy!” In the same way, with Life Goes On he wanted us to see their changed everyday life of the time, the sadness, melancholy and hope they all felt. Words were not needed, and this is the type of filming which is closest to the inner colours of Jeon Jungkook. JK is not the best with words, so I believe that he found in filmmaking a form of expressing himself in a more effective way.

HOWEVER, as we all know, even though Life Goes On was well received, GCF in Tokyo’s main critique was “Where is tokyo? All I see is JM”. Yet, his main purpose wasn’t Tokyo, the shots, the song, the editing, clearly indicated that. Nevertheless, if at the time, JM was indeed his queer interest as I don’t believe they were going steady at the time, he wasn’t going to jump out gun blazing to defend his choice; was he now? No, he left us to believe that he was gonna get better, and next thing he did was add more members and better establishing shots, but never forget; gcf in Tokyo is still there and still something he remembers fondly. 

Now as for the title of this post  😂😂😂. Be it straight, queer, interrational or whatever, there is one thing that most of couple YT channels have in common:

Their channel name is either a union of their name or there is and &/and to join siad names. When JM was pretending to have a channel with JK during this live → VMINKOOK LIVE he named their channel MinKook, because he was Min and he was Kook so, MinKook and let’s forget for a second that this actually resulted to be a very funny korean pun. I honestly do believe that if you are a platonic duo on YT you will very rarely use your name with your friends name as it seems like it is a universal YT truth that “” & “” channels are couple channels. So if anything, if JM was talking out of subconscious, he maybe had been watching a lot of YT couple channels, at the time, and thought it okay for them to have a channel name that matched the same energy? … 

🤡🤡🤡

So my question is: will the channel be named something akin to that couple vibe RISKY AF, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?? Or will it be something more like the Busan Brothers name that they are often given … HELLA SAFE, MAKES A LOT OF SENSE? I guess only time will tell! 

Ok then, hats off! Let's go back to reality, where we can happily keep waiting for this blasted travel vlog LOL.

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[scarlettjohanssons-mistress]

Anything Scarlett x reader 🥰

One night, or maybe more

Warnings: First meet, fluff, night adventure

Word count: 1.1 K

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Scarlett meets a girl who makes her feel like one more person, so, she invites her to spend a fun night with her all over town.

Requests: OPEN

[Main masterlist] [Actors and actresses masterlist]

*Story based, partially, on real events*

"Ok, anyway, can you explain why I'm helping you choose clothes for a celebrity-filled event?"

My roommate and friend, Clara asked as she helped me get every last piece of clothing out of my closet.

"I already told you, my classmate from Italian literature class, Veronica, was invited to the party thanks to her Youtube channel, and since her best friend canceled, she thought of inviting me" I said as I began to connect the iron for the hair

"Wow, who do you think you know?"

"I don't know, I might know Henry Cavill himself" I joked, knowing that he would not be present at the party.

“Girl, never say never” She slapped my arm playfully “What do you think of these pants and this shirt with the back uncovered? It looks party-worthy, it's sexy and elegant. It's an 'I'm a bitch, but I'm an expensive bitch '”

We both laughed, but, she was somewhat right, it was worthy of a party the magnitude of tonight's.

"Clara, you are magnificent"

———————————————————————————

To say that it was a party full of celebrities was an understatement for the amount of famous people that were in that place. Figures like Jennifer Aniston, Chris Evans and even Madonna were present at the party, enjoying a cocktail.

"Wow, when you said famous, I didn't think it would be so many famous" I joked with Veronica

“I know, I didn't expect this quality either” she returned the joke, suddenly someone approached her and began to speak in her ear until she walked away “hey, I have to go interview the person who invited us; I hope I won't be long"

"Do not worry it's alright"

"Don't get lost" she said goodbye with a wink and a squeeze to my right arm

"No" I returned the smile seeing how he began to walk away "I'll stay here"

My gaze began to travel all around me, feeling a little self-conscious about the people, the noise and the great amount of talent that surrounded me, making me feel small, like a little ant.

Trying to get that feeling out of my body, I decided to walk to the small bar and ask the bartender for a drink.

———————————————————————————

After sitting for a long time, taking drink after drink, I felt like a body collided with my back.

"Forgiveness"

I turned my head just to see that famous blonde hair, green eyes and that big smile.

Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson had bumped into me!

She ordered a drink, but surely she felt my gaze on her body, so she returned the gaze, causing me to look away and bow my head.

"I've never met you before, are you new to the guild?"

I turned my head, just to confirm that her question was directed at me.

"No, they invited me" I saw how her look changed, so I hastened to answer again "but don't worry, I'm not here in fan mode. Just… you know, I coming to party”

"Well, thank goodness" she laughed, placing a hand on my bare shoulder. "Well…"

"Y/N, my name is Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, what's a girl like you doing here?"

“I just came to accompany a classmate from the university…”

"University? What are you studying?"

"Literature"

“That sounds interesting… where do you study?”

"Sorry, I don't mean to sound rude, but why would an Oscar-nominated actress like you take an interest in the life of a college girl?"

She took the glass that had been brought to her and toasted my drink, forgotten on the bar.

"I'm just… interested in the life of a pretty girl"

The conversation was only going up, it didn't even seem like she was talking to one of the biggest stars on the planet. We were just two women having a light flirt as we got to know each other more and more. Until, little by little, the room became more and more crowded, making the conversation more difficult to carry.

"Damn, people are starting to tire me out" Scarlett began to complain, as she took the last sip of her drink "Do you want to get out of here?" she ask

"Where?"

"I know a place where we can have fun" she took my right hand, forcing me to get up from my seat and guiding me to the exit of the place.

Taking me on a late night adventure.

———————————————————————————

Scarlett took me on an express tour of New York City, she knew I hadn't had the chance to meet her in the few days of my stay, so she showed me everything there was to see. I took some photos in Times Square, we went through the art museum, we bothered a guard at the Empire State and I even took some of the statue of liberty. When I least wanted to realize it, Scarlett had brought me to the door of what looked like a school.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, watching as she brushed aside the vines to reveal a hole through which we could pass.

"Come, trust me"

And even so, without knowing her at all, beyond a public figure, still, I trusted her.

I got into the school and let her guide me to the pool and watching how she began to undress.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I started laughing at the strange situation I was getting myself into.

"Do you want to swim?" When she was in her underwear, she quickly got into the pool, laughing and swimming until she was close to me again. "Did you know that I studied here?"

“Really?” I asked as I began to remove my pants "Turn around, I don't have a bra"

"If you want you can wear my shirt"

I took off my own blouse to put on Scarlett's and get into the pool. We both started playing and swimming.

When I least wanted to realize it, Scarlett's lips were on mine, in a heated kissing session, but with her hands holding my cheeks, trying not to bother me. She was just trying to be gentle with me, with soft but constant kisses; until the noise of my phone interrupted us. I quickly got out of the pool and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" asked Veronica

"Damn, I left the place, but I'm coming back now"

"I'll wait for you. You have 20 minutes to arrive”

"It's fine"

and hung up

"I have to go" I said as I began to dry myself and put on my own clothes.

Without realizing it, Scarlett got out of the pool and hugged my hips from behind.

"When I could see you?"

"You have my phone" I laughed "Just dial me and you could send a private plane for me" I joked with her, causing her tender laughter

"Maybe I will." she kissed my cheek.

"See you then" I kissed her lips.

"See you"

Note:

I don't know if I can post these days, but if I don't post before December 24, I'll do it until December 28, so… MERRY CHRISTMAS!, LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. Thank you very much for making this year a wonderful year. I love you (I know I already said it, bear a little more of my love) ❤

I hope you enjoy it

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments

taglist: @littlebitchsposts

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

[srorgana1]

Picture Perfect

Rock Star Kylo Ren/Reader

Warnings: Expecit Sexual Content, Marriage, HEA 🥰

Epilogue to Into The Reverb, requested by the lovely @ladyzimmerman

“Hold on Kylo” Patrice says, powdering his forehead and cheeks lightly “there ya go.” You look between them confused. What is happening? Kylo seems to sense it, side eyeing you. “Don’t worry baby girl it’s a surprise” he says as Patrice fixes his collar, exposing more of his tattoos. 

Your lip quivers as you bite it. You have no real reason to be anxious but yet, yay anxiety. You try to stave off the incoming invasion of irrational thoughts. Should you be doing this? Is it too soon? Yes, the single is a hit on YouTube but is it really enough to warrant having an interview and photoshoot with Revolver Magazine? You didn’t honestly think so but the studio felt otherwise. 

“Hey Y/N” a feminine voice says, rudely but thankfully interrupting your impending spiral. You look up to see your stylist for today looking at you, a perfectly manicured eyebrow raised and blush brush in her hand. Your cheeks heat up instantly. “Sorry Patrice, what did you say?” you say, hoping she won’t judge you too much.

She chuckles, giving you a soft smile as she puts down her brush. “I said you are done and wanted your opinion on it but obviously you have other things on your mind.” “Is it that obvious?” you mumble as you look down at your newly manicured hands clutching your phone. The dark wine colored stiletto nails make your hands look like they don't belong to you.

“Babe, it's okay. This is a celebration of you and your achievements. No one is here to bring you down” she says softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You know what I see? I see a hot badass bitch who stood up to the industry, gave it a big fuck you and then turned it on it’s head for the better, all the while snagging the hottest man in the scene.” You feel your blush deepen at her multiple compliments.

You know she is right. The lawsuit against First Order Records and the residual fallout did revolutionize the music industry. It exposed the over control the big corporate labels had over their artists and how they were unfairly compensated for their hard work. Many artists took the opportunity to jump ship and sign on with smaller studios where they had more freedom and control of their art. Fans were divided, but most of them loved that their favorite artists had a say now.

D'Kar had been growing by leaps and bounds, opening two new studios in Miami and New York. You had gone and helped Chewie get the Miami office off the ground, signing up and coming artists at every turn. You really enjoyed talking with them, learning about their unique viewpoints on music. It was fascinating.

The Knights of Ren continued to be successful as well, winning best new album at the Billboard Music Awards and Heavy Music Awards. You traveled with them to the UK for the awards show, smiling like a fool when they performed Never Giving Up live. The media presence was intense, requesting interviews but you declined stating you were there to support them. 

When you returned back home, Kylo quickly asked you to move in with him. He didn’t make it a huge deal, just saying there was no point in being apart. You accepted and offered Rae your place, knowing it was bigger than her current place and would be the perfect spot for her to raise Kayla. You and Kylo took your time and ultimately made his place a home, a perfect mix of the two of you. 

You continue to be KOR’s senior producer, assisting them in developing new ideas and music. Their newest album is due for release in March but their newest single, a collab with Horizons and AntiChri$t, a dark trap/Hip-Hop artist from Echo Station Records, was currently blowing up the charts. You loved watching Kylo work, always amazed at how he weaves himself into each note.

So when he caught you one evening toying with a song idea, he pushed you to try. You did after much coaxing and through the support of D’Kar and The Knights you released an acoustic song online. It was simple but full of meaning and emotion. Kylo and Vic of course didn’t take no for an answer and played the musical accompaniment on the video as well as the subsequent recording. 

You had never been so nervous in your life as you were that day, setting off a severe panic attack. Kylo held you tight, talking you through your breathing exercises. You begged him to call it all off, saying you weren’t ready but he refused. He showered you in loving kisses, telling you how worthy you were and how much you deserved this.

Kylo. Your heart warmed at the thought of him. Your amazing, goofy, sexy but sweet, talented man. You love him so much and you thank the stars every day for him. “Yeah you're right, I know I’m luckier than most” you say, giving her a small smile. She smiles back as she grabs her hairspray. 

“If it means anything my Arielle loves your song, she says it's really deep” she says as she spritzes and does her finishing touches. You never expect it to blow up the way it did. It felt good to know your song is touching multiple age groups. It was a perfect example of how music was truly something everyone can enjoy. 

“Well if you want I can say hi to her if you want” you offer. “Really?” she says with wide eyes “no no that’s too much. I think just a picture with you will be enough. Are you okay with that?” You smile and look at her through the mirror knowing you two are becoming fast friends. “I think I can swing that”. 

A knock on the door pulls both your attention. “Are you decent?” a prim English accent says through the door. You laugh and shake your head. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before” you say as he enters. “Yes, that's what I’m afraid of,” he says, sounding uncomfortable.

You giggle softly at the memory of him catching you and Kylo in your hotel room last month. He had squawked about it being lewd and indecent while Cassian laughed his ass off calling him a hypocritical prude. He must be thinking of the same memory because his cheeks reddened as he huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t” he says, the side of his mouth twitched upward. You give him a smug smile, saluting him through the mirror. “You did great Patrice as always” he says, walking up to the two of you and handing her a stack of bills. “Pleasure as always Huxy” she says as she packs up her bags. You stand, tucking in the front of your shirt as you join them. 

Patrice must have told Hux about the photo, motioning to the both of you as he raised up her phone. You wrap your hand around her waist and smile, taking a couple photos with her. “Beautiful” he says as he hands her phone back. She smiles warmly and gives you both another quick side hug before slipping out the door. 

“How are you feeling Y/N?” he says as the door clicks shut. “I’m okay, just nervous I guess” you respond, your fingers beginning to fidget. “Don’t be, this is the easy part. You killed the interview, now you just have to stand there and look pretty” he says as he phone buzzes. Easy for him to say, you think as his eyes darken and eyebrows furrow at whatever he reads on the phone. 

“Sorry love but I got to go, the assistant will be here in a bit to escort you. You look beautiful and you will kill it” he says quickly as he turns, leaving you alone. You take a breath, trying to keep your anxiety at bay. You wonder what could be so important that would make Hux react like that. 

“Fuck I thought he’d never leave” a dark smooth voice from the side, surprising you. You yelp, your heart almost leaping out of your chest. You turn to see Kylo’s head peeking out from the dressing racks, a huge shit-eating grin spread across his face. “Kylo! What the fuck!” you exclaim as you hold a hand to your chest, willing your galloping heart rate to a normal level.  

“Sorry baby girl, it was just too perfect” he says, laughing as he ducks his head under the bar, exposing himself at last. You take him in, his fresh white button down and distressed black jeans definitely was not what he was wearing when he dropped you off, but damn did he look good. The soft white cotton fit his broad chest well, the first couple buttons left open to expose his tattoos. You eyes reach his face to notice the hunger in his rapidly dilating eyes. “Hmm” he growls “you look stunning” he says as he takes a step forward, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. 

The smell of his Tom Ford cologne hits your nose, making you want to melt into him. Damn him. You huff as you school your features, smack him in the chest. “Ow what’s that for?” he says dramatically, suddenly starting to tickle you. You squeal, pushing yourself closer to him to avoid his fingers. “Stop! Stop! Ok Ok!” you giggle “you just scared me is all.” He smiles, his fingers grabbing at your curves as he places a big kiss on the top of your head. 

“God I love you” he says, squeezing you lightly as he takes your hand in his. You look up at him and his amber eyes say it all. The amount of love this man has for you still scares you at times. You truly cherish how much he trusts you with his heart. You sigh happily, knowing you will never be alone again. 

You look down at the arm wrapped around you, the skin on his wrist still pink and healing. “You know you can cover it up if you want to” you say as your fingers trace one of his newest tattoos. “Why would I do that, beautiful? I got it in honor of the happiest day of my life. If someone doesn’t like well fuck them” he says, kissing your entwined hands. You nod in agreement. It was the happiest day of your life as well.

He holds you close, his cologne and his warm breath on the back of your neck soothing you. You feel him kiss there softly, his facial hair a hard contrast to his plush lips. Your body instantly reacts to his attention, a shot of desire making you shiver. The growl he lets out vibrates through you, further stoking the flames. He grinds his hips against your ass, his cock hardening quickly within its confines. 

“Really Kylo? We don’t have time for this” you say, trying to distance yourself from him. Clearly he knows you are literally going to have photographs taken the whole world will see right? His grip tightens, his teeth lightly scraping against your neck. “I need a fix baby” he whispers against your ear, his tip of his tongue tracing the shell.

“We can’t. The assistant..” you gasp, your breath catching as his hand skims over your breasts. “We have ten minutes, I paid him off and I owe Vic a back massage for getting Hux out of here” he says as he spins you around and places you atop the vanity. Your hands slide down his neck as his lips slam into yours, his kisses needy but aggressive. It further ignites your need for him. 

His wicked lips torture you, his tongue coaxing moans from you as he shifts your hips up, his fingers working the buttons on your pants. “You have to be quiet for me, baby girl” he says, his fingertips now tracing the top of your underwear. He smiles wickedly as you nod quickly, already desperate for his touch.

He starts kissing your neck, his fingers descending slowly, teasing you further. You gasp as his thick fingers finally reach your pussy. “Fuck me, you’re soaked Y/N” he hisses, his fingers exploring further and pulling your now useless underwear aside. Your grip tightens around his thick muscles as he inserts one finger, pumping slowly. 

Damn his fingers. They are always so perfect. He knew from the beginning how to play you to make you delirious for him. You fight to keep your eyes open as the core tightens. “Fuck I love you like this” he growls, slamming two finger inside. He crooks them to hit your g-spot and rubs the heel of his hand against your clit. “Fuck” you whine, your hips shifting more forward. 

“Shh, lemme do the work baby. Gotta keep you photoshoot ready. God damn it, this is so fucking hot” he grits out, biting the junction of your neck lightly as resumes his thrusting. You bite your lip to stop your sounds of pleasure. “I feel it baby girl, I feel you winding up. Please baby I need it” he says his voice getting lower and huskier. 

Your body responds immediately, your back arching as your orgasm crashes over you. He swallows your moans with his own as you cum all over his fingers. “I love you, I love you” you chant breathlessly, placing your forehead on his as you catch your breath. “I love you more” he responds softly “I’m so fucking lucky.”

“We both are” you say as you take a deep breath, your body clinching as he removes his fingers. “Very true and it’s not just because I get to worship you whenever I want” he says as he licks your arousal off his fingers, his eyes closing in bliss. You fight off another shiver upon watching him. Damn him for being so fucking sexy.

A knock on the door breaks your lust filled bubble. “Kylo?” a shaky voice says “You good?” You look at him as he steps back, offering you his other hand. “One minute” he calls out as you take it, hopping off the vanity and putting yourself back together. You fix a couple flyaways and your mascara, smirking as you see him adjusting himself in the mirror. 

“I can take care of that after” you whisper as the door opens, revealing a skittish looking assistant. Kylo places a hand on your lower back, leading you out to the hallway. “I am looking forward to it” he responds, patting your ass lightly. The assistant looks at the two of you nervously. “Lead the way Michael, after the shoot I’ll sign your stuff” Kylo says, running a hand through his hair. 

The assistant nods, his face a little less nervous as he leads you both to a large room full of people and equipment. The photographer sits in a directors chair, barking out orders as assistants rush back and forth. Two of them pull you from Kylo and lead you forward to a source of the shouts. “Luke?” one of them says nervously. The orders stop instantly as a pair of blue eyes land on you. “Ms L/N? Pleasure to meet you” a short gray haired man says, offering his hand.

You shake his hand, hoping it’s not too sweaty. “I know you are new at this so here’s the synopsis. We will do pictures standing, on the coach and by the bike. Biggest thing to remember is not to stress, I’m here to lead you through” he says, one hand messing with the camera settings. 

“Thanks Luke” you say as you are led in front of the cameras, the assistants hovering as Luke begins barking out orders once again. You try your best to keep your face neutral, not letting the assistants’ stressed energy get to you. “Okay Y/N I think we are good to start” Luke says transferring to the stool next to his chair “take a deep breath for me okay”. 

You do so, shaking out your limbs and fixing your shirt once more before getting into position. Arms crossed with a relaxed posture with one hip leaning on the side of the couch. “Perfect” Luke says, camera clicking away. You spot movement behind him, your heart warming to see Kylo standing behind him, a soft look overtaking his features. You smile involuntarily, your nerves lessening when you hear him say “I love you”. 

You are led through a couple different positions, both standing and sitting on a black leather couch. They were very professional, with just a hint of sexy. Luke complimented you through it, finally calling for a water break and a background change. 

Two assistants rush you, pulling you aside as the couch is removed and replaced by a vintage Harley motorcycle. You smirk at the multiple memories of a very similar one. “Mine’s better that’s for sure” he says as he comes up next to you, immediately wrapping  an arm around you. You nudge your hip out to bump his as Patrice fixes your makeup. 

He kisses the top of your head, releasing you as Luke calls his name. You watch him wink as he turns and lumbers to the motorcycle, shouting something to Luke. No. No fucking way.

Patrice’s laugh pulls you from your shock at the dramatic turn of events. “What? He didn’t tell you? Figures” she says, trying to compose herself as she fluffs your hair and adjusts your shirt to more off the shoulder look, exposing your collarbone tattoo as you hear camera clicks behind you.

She smiles wide, her eyes sparkling with happiness. “He paid us all to keep this part a secret as a surprise for you. Yes, some are for the magazine, but most are for you two as your wedding photos.” Your eyes widen and begin to water as your jaw goes slack, finally putting it all together. 

“Now don’t start that! Don’t make me have to redo my work” she says sternly. You shake your head, laughing at the ridiculousness of all this and how much Kylo fucking loves you. It’s seriously unbelievable. “Hey, you got this, okay babe? Just enjoy the moment” she says, leading you up to your man. You take his awaiting hand, his eyes darkening once more as he takes you in. “Yes Kylo keep that fire” Luke yells “Y/N get closer to him, yes like that.”

You get as close to Kylo as you can, your back to his chest and his arm around your waist. He nuzzles your shoulder in a couple while in others you share soft kisses. “Thank you” you whisper to him when Luke calls for a lighting change. “No need to thank me baby girl. You make me the happiest man on the face of this earth. It’s time the world knows” he says as he kisses you again.

“Alright guys final position” Luke calls out “ okay arms around her Kylo, yep that’s right. Remember left hands exposed and facing out, good perfect” He encircles you, a strong protective shell from the world. You know when you’re here you're safe because your husband will do anything to protect you. 

As on cue, Kylo lays his head on your shoulder, his long black hair hiding his face. You feel him leaving kisses on your skin as you turn your head, nuzzling your nose into the side of his head. “Shift your arms down Kylo, yep perfect I can see her tattoo better now” Luke says as the camera rapidly clicks. “I love you Mrs. Y/N L/N-Ren” he whispers into your skin. 

See the whole collection including original story:

You can’t help the tears that well up as your fingers caress the raised tattooed roman numerals on his side of his wrist. “Okay perfect guys, now show off the finger tattoos.” Kylo shifts a little bit behind you, raising his head to kiss your check. You hand lays over his, your matching delicate ring finger tattoos and wedding bands facing the camera. “I love you too Mr. Ren” you respond knowing no matter what life gives, you have each other and nothing will never ever break it. 

I hope you all enjoyed their HEA, I know I did 🥰❤️ lemme know what you think on here or on A03 ❤️

[mika-0730]

prime numbers^^

sdaglkasdjgasdg i'm always so bad at remembering theseeeeee

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

oh gosh I so rarely watch movies this is a hard one. Can I just say the LOTR trilogy and call it a day?

5. what made you start your blog? okay so this is really funny, my photography professor made us make it to show off our portfolio back in like 2011 and I've had it ever since? Been very hot and cold with it and blew that one up for this one after realizing I was done with a dumb fandom and I needed a fresh start.

7. what scares you the most and why?

I've already answered this one so I'll give a different fear because I'm loaded with them. I'm super afraid of more pain, I deal with chronic pain so having even an ounce more is absolutely terrifying to me

11. what do you consider to be romance? I'm very much a physical affection romantic, give me cuddles, hugs, kisses, handholding, headpats, that kinda stuff and I'll absolutely melt in your hands. I don't need a lot, I do like traveling and seeing cute places, but I'm just as satisfied with basic affection

13. what are you doing right now? Besides writing this out, just listening to an Elden Ring youtuber talk about ashes of war and eating some sweets to celebrate being done with work

17. name 3 things that make you happy My friends, dogs, and cuddles from said friends and/or puppers

19. favourite thing about the day? Probably twilight. The pretty colors, the mix between the sun going and the night rising, it's the best. In a different sense, talking with friends ^^

23. say 3 things about someone you hate This could probably be towards a couple of people but: I wish they helped me more and kept me from drowning while I was around them I hate what they did to me and i'll never forgive them for it Despite all of that, I hope they live their best lives. Just far enough away from me I never have to think about them again.

29. what do you do when you’re sad? I tend to isolate when I'm sad and stressed, as well as doubting myself and the people who actually care about me. Then I tend to read

31. are you messy or organised? I think I try to be organized but end up being messy as fuck hahaha

37. share a secret I recently bought a pair of bunny ears and I kinda love them

[slashercult]

Hi, how’s it going? I would like to play your “new year predictions game”. I reblogged,❤️’d, and followed. Something good that’s happening to me in 2023: I spent time with my sisters. It sounds small, but I really cherish every moment I get with them. I know one day we’ll be loving individual lives. So, I want to make the most of the present and show them how much I care about them and bond. A mini prediction for your year: I think a part of the year will deal with you feeling alone or like things aren’t going your way,but things will change. Don’t focus on what’s going wrong or what you lack. Just find gratitude in the small things,and those small things will grow. Your worries will be a thing of the past. After that I see you reaching a milestone. Something that calls for celebration. I think this accomplishment will bring you joy/happiness. I think it will be a time of appreciating all of the good things in your life. The people you love will surround you and be happy for you. You will feel supported and secure. This will be a time of your dreams becoming reality. Your manifestations coming into fruition. A YouTube video that brings me joy is : “Laith and Christina real love story about a couple who fell in love over tumblr”. The original video was deleted, but other people reuploaded it. Channels: miami303mommi, mauricemusa , william t donald. If you type in “Laith and Christina”, it should pop up. It’s a video about a couple who met on tumblr and started long distance dating. And with the help of her friend he surprises her in her city. I’m a hopeless romantic and I first seen this video when I was young so it always has a special place in my heart and makes me feel warm, fuzzy and happy🩷. I would like to know: 🕰️ what is a major change I will experience in the new year?

hello! im glad you got to spend more time hanging out with your sisters, also love the video you sent lol. thank you for the mini prediction, i rlly do hope that my manifestations come true. anyways, let's move right on to your reading.

cards i pulled: eight of wands, the tower, page of cups (r), the fool (r) oracle cards: the deer and the oat, the vulture and the asphodel last year must have been kind of tough for you, but this year one of the changes im seeing is that you will finally be able to move forward from the past and heal. im getting that you may start traveling more in this new year, most likely through plane or in high areas (maybe near a couple of mountains), somewhere of high elevation. there will be many sudden changes for you throughout the new year. it may catch you a bit off guard and you'll have to stay strong and withstand it. you will take some time to grieve and let your wounds heal. after this happens, im seeing that you will become more wise, strong, and look at life differently (but in a more positive way). im getting some kind of rebirth energy, you will probably be going through a glow up and will feel more free from your old ways of thinking. im getting that you will change the more immature side of you and begin to stand up for yourself a lot more. there could be some creative blocks or times in the new year when you see an opportunity but you are too afraid to take it, this could be because of some self doubt or thinking you are just not prepared enough. healing is one of the major themes im seeing from this new year, there's a lot of signs of growth and rebirth. there will be times where you feel a bit overwhelmed from everything but this requires rest so you can recharge and continue to nourish your soul.

that's all for your reading, please don't forget to leave feedback, i hope you enjoyed and have a wonderful new year!

[marshmallowprotection]

Saeran once mentioned in the AE calls that he would love to make videos on how to raise herbs when MC said that he and Saeyoung could make a YouTube account together as twins. Sooo do you think they would ACTUALLY create a YouTube channel after the AE? 🤔 like, become a content creator and such

I think Saeran was thinking about wishful thinking. There was a lot of different paths he mentioned that he would consider trying out in the future just for fun. But, I think... I think he wants privacy to be just like any other person out there. He has all this freedom and I can't see the situation being something that he would want to jump into.

There's a lot of reporters and people that want to know more about the twins! I know that because Jaehee's voicemail is literally set up to screen or answer questions that they've been hounding her about. It can be exhausting. Zen and Jumin know that and they offer a lot of care for Saeran during this time to shield him. He is easy going but it's obvious he doesn't really care for people getting in his business. He went from being nobody to being celebrity over night.

Even at the end of the Good Ending, Saeran, you, and Saeyoung are lying to the RFA about the fact that you're back in South Korea and together. Because MC and Saeran go on their trip not long after the After Ending concludes and they don't set a point for their return. It's a lose travel plan to a few different places across the world. before it occurs to them that it's time to head home... time to make a home for the first time.

Saeyoung's been working on finding himself in that time that MC and Saeran are gone. He's had a lot of time to be in therapy thanks to the care of Jumin and the others. I imagine he spent a lot of time with a good friend, you know, Vanderwood, and apart from that... he's had so much time to make more robots and tinker in his workspace. He's not so lonely... but he does talk to Saeran every day now and that is a great help.

When you're all together again, it feels... well. Nobody wants to break that bubble and know that it's going to be different. Saeyoung and Saeran will always be known to the world, and while I can see there being a chance that Saeyoung might enjoy putting stuff out there, I can't see the twins being super active with content creation. Let the two of them enjoy things without feeling pressure to create for a lot of people. There's no pressure.

Just existing is what they need right now.

So, no, I don't think the twins will actually do that. But, I do think it's something that Saeran toyed with because he wondered what the world would be once he has his brother back. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but it definitely isn't going to happen soon if it does happen. I do think people would enjoy them but... it just feels weird to imagine them showing themselves after years of hiding. It would be overwhelming and overstimulating.

They want to be normal before anything else. They deserve a chance to have normalcy in their lives. However, I am 100% certain that the two of them are going to start doing work to benefit the lives of all kinds of children in need. Saeyoung already started with his drink but that end is tied up now. I hope the twins make something together as the player cheers them on and supports this process. Even if it means Saeyoung bribes his brother into creating a line of silly robot toys.

[hwrryscherry]

The one where model Y/N is attacked in Paris.

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N are in Paris for Fashion Week 2020 earlier this year. To celebrate her first time walking for Gucci, Harry decides to take her out for a dinner date when a crazy youtube prankster attacks her while leaving the restaurant and Harry get furious as standing up to defend his girl.

word count: 3.5K

warning: rude and disrespectful attitude, invasion of personal space, violence, anxiety attack quote. DON’T read it if you feel uncomfortable.

author’s note: HIII, I know this took me a while. I was working on it when I got a cold and just couldn’t think of anything to finish writing this, but I’m much better now for god’s sake. I’d like to apologize with whoever requested this for taking such a long time to post it and say a huge thank you or requesting this too! This is completely inspired by what happened to Gigi Hadid in 2016(I guess) and I remember seeing this video and thinking why someone would do that, also, Gigi said once that the guy was lucky Zayn wasn’t with her sooooo I guess I just think Harry would be so furious because even though he’s a very chill guy, his girl safety and well being is the one thing that matters the most to him.

gigi’s video for the ones who didn’t see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjsPmjqmcvs

       February 27th, 2020

   Today was the first time that you ever walked for Gucci, and it was amazing, you were beyond happy because getting where you are today being a short model and only being 22 years old it's something to be proud of. It hasn't been easy all the time but you were slowly making your way to the top and that's more than enough. And you were highly grateful for Harry either, of course you walked Gucci's show because of your talent and hard working and no one doubted that, but Harry did a important role in your newest contract with Gucci because you met the team because of him and his Gucci obsession. But anyway, the fashion show was amazing, and you had Harry on the crowd cheering for you all the time and God, he was so proud! He couldn’t even handle himself. He was recording everything and even got up when you did the catwalk next to him as he kept taking multiple pictures. If you have to be real, almost 90% of those pictures looked really bad because he wasn't focusing on the phone but he also wanted to register this moment and when you'd look through them later you'd actually laugh because most of them had a very blur image.

    When the fashion show ended, he had to congratulate you backstage. As you were starting to take off your outfit, you listened to your boyfriend's rough voice making you turn around to face him and see the biggest smile on his face, you could clearly see his dimples on the side of his cheek. He walked over to you instantly wrapping his strong arms around your figure hugging you so tight that you were even afraid that he would get the feat of ruining the rest of clothes you still had on.

— You were so great, I'm so pround of you! — Harry said on a low tone next to your ear before breaking the hug and looking carefully to your face. You had this crazy green eyeshadow that were halfway gone by now which caused him to chuckle — I love your eye look, it looks fabulous! — Harry said making you bend over to stare at the mirror behind you only realizing now you haven't finished taking off your makeup yet. You stand straight again giving him a mocking expression as you grabbed the makeup wipe you were using from the makeup table behind both of you.  

— I know, I'm thinking about wearing this everywhere because it's just really fashion! — you ironically said taking a smirk out of him as you turned around sitting on the chair in front of the mirror so you could have a sight of how you're makeup were doing — But thank you, you know I appreciate it!

— I do! And that's why I'll congratulate you by taking you out for dinner tonight! — Harry said walking towards you resting his hands on both of your shoulders squeezing them gently as he bends over giving you a small kiss on your neck.

— Oh, like a dinner date? — You'd ask with a smirk on as you felt goosebumps on your kiss with his little kiss.

— Exactly like a dinner date! And later, we can have our own private celebration! — He'd say with a  smirk on his lips as you finished taking your makeup off — What d' you think? Sounds good? — He asked you and you nodded at him and just some minutes later you both were out stage going back to your hotel in Paris. Harry called Jeff and asked him if he could make a reservation for both of you for tonight around 8 pm and he glady did, so as it was already 6 pm and as you both were probably the one couple in the world who takes the longest to get ready, you'd come back to the hotel and started getting ready already.

    Jeff made an appointment for both of you to go to Le Cinq restaurant which is located near the Eiffel Tower and Arc of Triumph. You absolutely loved Paris at night, for some reason it seemed more magical and interesting to you. The weather, the lights, the fashion and the language that you learned to master well through the years warmed your heart whenever you’d go there. When you were a child, you got used to always hearing your mom tells you:’’whenever you’re in love, go to Paris’’, and for this reason Paris was one of the first places where you and Harry traveled together as couple. Harry didn’t use to travel a lot for by the way. MOst of the time, he used to travel for work, so this changed a lot since you started dating because you love to travel. You’ve always been a free spirit person, the kind of person that goes wherever the winds takes you so with the time Harry became like this too as you started taking him to do the craziest things on the craziest places around the world.

    You felt the car slower it’s velocity as it got closer to the front of the restaurant, and you both could see by the window that the front was packed. As it was Paris Fashion Week, there were a lot of celebrities in the city and usually, fans settled in front of popular places around the city hoping they’d have a chance to meet their favorite celebs and even though you were already used to crowds at this point of your life, they’d still make you a little nervous, especially when it was in places not well known to you like a city you don’t live on.

— You’ll have to guide me because these shoes are really high and I don't want to step on anyone's feet — You said to Harry while putting your phone in the small black Prada bag you carried with you with your head down looking carefully to it because you’ve lost the count of how many times you thought you had put the phone inside your bag and you didn’t.

— It's alright! Hold my hand because there are a lot of people here! — Said Harry bringing his left hand up to your face to put a lock of hair of yours that fell in your face behind your ear and you nodded to him. Harry was really protective over you, and he has been that way since the beginning of your relationship. He’d always put your safety first anytime you’d go out together. When it was his about his concerts, you’d usually discuss about the fact that you want to be in the audience and he wants you to be backstage. It’d taken you a few minutes to convince him that everything was going to be fine, but it would also have days that it didn’t matter how much time you try to convince him he’d beg you to stay backstage so he could be relaxed during the performance. But you were grateful for him being that way, you were grateful that he cared so much about your well being because you know exactly how much some relationships can be destructive and you felt lucky to have someone this good in your life. Of course he wasn’t perfect, neither of you were but who is? He tried his best and that’s what matters the most.

    But anyway, Harry held your hand tightly and opened the car door, immediately feeling the camera’s flashes burning your faces and listening to some fans starting to shout. Harry’s bodyguards got between both of you and the crowd guiding your way to the entrance of the restaurant and you felt the heat from the crowd instantly even though the weather in Paris was only 59°F, it’d feel lot warmer until you entered the place. And that is one special kind of a place, The decoration was perfectly splendid, gorgeous and marvelous if you must say. The touches of gold and light blue mixed with the yellow coloration of lights and the spectacular french food scent brought a cozy and elegant vibe.The restaurant was a little full, nothing out of the common and you observed the many different sizes of tables and the groups of people in it.

    You both were taken to your table that was located next to the windows but wasn’t actually on the windows at it still had people outside and it feels weird to eat with people watching you. Anyway, Harry as the gentleman he is pulled the chair for you as he always did even though you had told him there’s no need for that. You both ordered glasses of your favorite white wine, neither of you were heavy drinkers but as it was a celebration it was much needed. The date happened naturally, just as all the laughing, talking and even gossips. This the casual couple gossip that you two would have, but it happened naturally. None of you ever felt like you had to pretend to be anybody else except yourself around each other.

    During the night, Harry would get lost in your face admiring your features while you’re talking. He would admire the way your eyebrows move when you’d change expressions, the way your eyes would form a very tiny line when you tried to see something that was away from you, he’d admire your smile and the sound of your laugh anytime you’d remember of something funny or he’d tell you something funny and he’d think of how lucky he is to have you, because even though he knows that sometimes he can be a pain in the ass(just as you can too) , you’re very lucky to have one another and to have someone who would make you feel this great and free about who you are. Because who you are is exactly who you need to be. Of course both of you believes that changing and envolving it’s the most important thing to do and sometimes you’d be surprised to see how much you both grew from the beginning of your relationship until today and that would bring smile to your faces. He feels lucky to be able to call you his girl, and god you loved when he’d do it. You loved when he was about to present you to someone and say ‘’This is my girl Y/N’’, it’d cause you to open a big smile because it felt natural. You’re his and he’s yours, period.

    When you both decided it was time to call it a night Harry paid the check against what you wanted because you wanted to pay this time. You’d honestly hate to have people paying for you, and this would usually be a point of discussion between you and Harry. You don't know why but you hate it, and it's just the gentleman in Harry wanting to spoil his girl again and again until he get tired of doing it, but he never does.

   You were about to leave the restaurant when Harry slid his right hand around your waist bringing you closer to him very calmly to kiss your cheek.

— I know you want to say hi to everyone but just walk to the car, alright? — He'd lowly talk next to your ear making you look at him with a serious expression — It's for your safety, love! It's late now, and we don't know who's there. — And he was right, it was past midnight now and there were still some people out there. How can they stand there in this cold weather? But anyway, you agreed with him as you both walked your way to outside. You felt flashes again, blinding flashing lights making you look to the ground as Harry held his hand on the back of your back guiding you to the car.

    As you walked towards the car, you felt a small hand touch your arm and you looked over to see a little girl with probably 12 or 13 years. She pursued tired eyes, and your heart ached with just the thought of keeping walking back to the car because you had no idea of how much time she’s been outside waiting for you so you stopped walking and bend down a little to get close to her height which made Harry stops walking immediately looking a little surprised but he understood when he saw you taking a picture with the little girl and how your face lightens up after it. You asked her what was her name and her age and she answered that her name was Lily and she was 13 she told you that she wants to be a model just like you when she grows older and that melted your heart. You smiled at her and told her that she could do whatever she wanted to and told her that when she grows up and becomes a model, you’d love to walk a show with her. When you’d stand up again you saw Harry looking at you with a small smile on his lips. He couldn’t deny he loves your kindness to every person in the world. It made his heart happy to know that he’s with someone with the same life philosophy than him. So he turned around to open the car door for you when you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist lifting you up and you froze.

— What the fu... — You'd shout before starting to hit him on his arms with your elbows as you'd move your legs trying to kick him with your heels. You'd feel flashes on your face and heat on your body increasing. It was the adrenaline and you were furious at this point. — Get...Off...Me — You'd shout as you'd hit his face with your elbows as well, Harry looked over to you and stormed out. He'd swear he'd never been like this in his life, he'd basically run to behind the guy's back and put his arm around his neck, Harry'd give him a punch right in the middle of his back and a slightly kick on the back of his knee to destabilise the guy which put you free by the moment he started to fall. Harry's bodyguard would hold you immediately trying to push you away from the crowd as you looked at Harry pushing the guy away from you.

— What the fuck were you doing? — Harry'd shout right into the man's face and watch as the man started to walk away from the crowd but Harry would go after him. Harry swears to god he couldn't even feel his body at the time. He was completely numb, moved by adrenaline and all he wanted to do was to beat the shit out of that man. — WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? — Harry'd shout walking after him getting no response which just made him angrier. At that time he didn't care about the cameras or whoever was watching him, he couldn't calm down when someone threated his girl safety and personal space. It didn't even need to be you. If he saw anyone threatening a woman's safety, he'd freak out in anger.

   You felt the bodyguards strong hands trying to push you away from the situation because that's what Harry would want him to do. He tried walking you towards the car, but you were reluctantly screaming for Harry because he could get himself hurt if he didn't come back to the car now. The other bodyguard walked after Harry grabbing him by the arm and Harry turned over to look at him with so much anger on his look and you'd swear you never saw him like this but then he did started walking over to you again.

   You finally entered the car and closed the door. You felt in panic. Basically paralyzed, you felt your anxiety attacking and your hands shaking. You could literally hear your heart beating so fast and loud that it scares you.

— Go get him! Follow him to hell. I don't care! Take him to the police office! — You'd listen to Harry talks firmly to his bodyguards as he opened the car's door and entered in it. He took a deep breath and turned his face to look at you. His heart broke at that moment. You were a mess. You couldn't even feel the tears leaving your eyes, but he did see them. He saw your hands shaking and how scared your eyes looked and at that moment all of his anger left his body — Love... — He'd sigh getting closer to you while wrapping his arms around your now-fragile figure. He could feel your entire body shaking on his arms. He caressed your hair with one of his hands as he hugged you tight to calm you down. He'd look to the driver and make a sign for him to start driving back to your hotel — Are ya okay? You're hurt? Did he hurt you? — He'd talk on a calm tone squeezing you a little on his arms. You'd lift your head up to look at him with red wet eyes shaking your head to him.

— I'm sorry! — You'd say lowly. He did tell you to walk straight to the car, and you didn't listen to him.

— It's not your fault, love! — He'd say wiping some of your tears and then carefully kissing both of cheeks — Don't worry about it, everything's gonna be fine, alright? It's okay!

   You'd spent the rest of the ride in silence. A comfortable silence. You'd be laying your head on his shoulder while holding his head getting your breathing and heart back to normal and your phones would start buzzing with notifications of what happened but none of you would see it, not now.

   When you got to your hotel, you'd get out of the car in the garage. You'd both walk slowly to the elevator and slowing to your room. You entered the room going directly to the king sized bed and throwing yourself in it because you felt like getting in a coma and just waking up to a time where all this drama would go away. Harry'd walk towards you and sit in bed beside you. He'd put both of his hands on your shoulders massaging them slowly.

— I'll prepare you a bath, so you can relax a little before sleeping, how's that sound? — He'd say trying to cheer you up a little bit.

— Sounds great, thank you love! — You'd turn your head to look at him with a forced smile on your lips. Harry'd bend down to kiss your hair line before leaving to the bathroom.

   He'd try his best to make you feel the most comfortable to sleep tonight. He'd prepare you a bath. He'd give you a message, he'd brush your hair for you but actually, he loves to do that. He loves to brush your hair before you go to bed, it was more like a routine for you both. He loves to feel your long locks on his fingers and to feel the sweet scent of it. He'd cuddle you until you fall asleep too, he'd even be the big spoon tonight so you could sleep on his chest breathing his perfume because he hoped that'd make you have a good night of sleep.

   And after you did, he'd look on the things on his phone. All the posts about you being attacked in Paris and him beating the guy who did it were just too much and he felt sorry that you'd have to see and read all of those stuff as soon as you unblock your phone. A lot of your friends texted him asking what happened and if you were ok. He'd answer the closest ones only, like his mom and Gemma, your mom, Bella and Jeff. He didn't know what you'll decide about the next fashion shows you had to walk, but he also knows that no one would blame you if you just chose to come back home in NYC.

  Harry didn't sleep at that night at all, he couldn't stop looking for what happened and why it happened. The next day, it was everywhere in the media and later you'd found out that the guy was a youtuber and he was making a prank when he posted his stupid youtube vlog with "I pranked Harry Styles's girlfriend and he punched me" as a title. You'd sue him for sure. You don't like taking those kind of actions, but it was necessary, he had to understand that you cannot disrespect people like this, specially people you don't know.

  After that you'd probably understand why Harry is so protective over you and Harry would actually get ten times more protective, if I had to be honest. But as the time passed by and quarantine came you both would leave it behind and move on with your life because in the end of the day you both will still have one another.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Lovers at last

Calum Hood x Reader

summary: after years of being friends and even a band mate of the guys, you grow up and experience something you never thought you would.

a/n: this was definitely something from like 3 in the morning so hopefully you all enjoy. also this is during like youngblood era for those who like the timeframes. there are also some typos but i mean it’s okay lol adds on to the effect.

You and the boys have been together as friends since middle school, it was always the 5 of you, when the guys were creating the band and posting videos on youtube you helped them figure that part out and being the technical bandmate, especially when it came to social media. However as time moved along the boys were getting big and had gotten their own team, you didn't take this as a bad thing, it was good they were getting noticed and having their music heard. Even if they were away you were still a part of the band, it didn't matter if it was official or not, you were a part of the band.

You on the other hand, had gotten yourself in the music industry and started as an intern producer for a record label and making tunes for some starting bands. Your talent in creating these tunes eventually brought all types of artists from around the world to work with you. You later got into writing lyrics and started writing music for other artists. Of course this went around pretty fast getting attention from many artists. You had told the guys about this way before you started, they were all sure you were going to make it big as well. In the younger years you had helped the band before with lyrics and tunes or chords. Helping them find their sound.

Skip forward to knowing you were currently texting with Cal as he and the guys were on tour, while you were meeting or well about to meet the one and only Ariana Grande who needed to find some new sounds for her new album. Before meeting with her you were freaking out and needed someone to talk to and that's where this story leads us.

Meeting ariana grande was one of the things you have always dreamed of, of course when you were contacted for some help with producing you thought it was a joke because who would send an email saying they are ariana grande and would like to work with you on their album, that just doesn't happen, but in this case it did for you. You had everything prepared for her to give a listen to and let her decide on what changes needed to be made and for her to just be comfortable with the new samples you made for her.

Talking to her in text was something you were good at but now you were officially meeting her and getting her full opinion about the stuff you made. It was about an hour of you showing her all the stuff you came up with and she was just so fascinated with what you came up with. To be honest you were unsure what she wanted so you made a lot, and I mean a lot of material, so you were prepared for anything that she might need.

“These samples are crazy good! I've been trying to find a new sound and these three simple songs need these sounds, this is really amazing.” she said as you nodded being glad you were able to find her sound, “well i'm glad you like them, im happy to help, it's an honor really.” you said as she shook her head, “i should be saying that about you, you have crazy talent for this. Have you considered moving to LA?” she asked as you shrugged, “maybe one day, i'm not sure yet, i don't know if you know but i'm friends with 5 seconds of summer,” you said as she gasped and nodded, “oh yeah i've heard of them, but what do they have to do with you moving to LA?” she asked as you continued, “Well we grew up together here and i don't know i wouldn't want to leave them and the place where we all grew up.” you said as she nodded completely understanding, “yeah it's tough, but if they are your friends i feel like they would understand because they are growing, it wouldn't hurt for them seeing you grow too.” she said quite simply and honestly as you nodded taking that advice to heart.

You knew that maybe just one day you would move your career somewhere else, but you just didn't want to leave home. Yeah they leave you while on your but they always come back, even if it's just for a while, they come back. A part of you wanted to go to LA and pursue your dreams there, but your home was here. You didn't want to leave the place where you grew up. Of course this needed to be talked with. Not just your parents, but with cal and the guys.

…

Weeks later the guys had all come home and you sent them all a message that you needed to talk to them all together. The guys were slightly confused but they wanted to see you anyway so they all agreed.As you were in the old garage where they used to rehearse you were more nervous that you thought you were. You had made the final decisions and you were moving to LA, you had signed off with a good company and you were officially to move away from home. Everything was done, you just needed to tell the guys.They all walked in as they all saw you sitting down with a very serious face and began to worry.

“hey guys.” you said as they all smiled at you and gave you a hug as you looked at all of them and worried how they were going to react. “So why did you bring us all here?” Michael asked partly worried as the rest followed you to sit down, “Well i have some news i needed to share, and well you were on tour and i couldn't interrupt that.” you said as ash shook his head, “y/n, you know we're here for you no matter what, even if we are on tour.” Ash said as you smiled for his compassion, “what is it dovey?” cal asked probably the most worried out of all of the group. He was scared of what was going on and was prepared for any news that could change your life and his plans of telling you how he felt about you. To be frank he had always beat himself up for it whenever the days passed and he didn't tell you about his feelings, he was close to telling you, but with this news he might just tell you now. You two were close and you met cal first way before the guys, so it would be understable if you and cal needed some privacy with what you were about to say.

“Well, you remember when I met Ariana Grande and did some samples for her album?” you asked as they all nodded and luke spoke, “yeah those were amazing by the way, were sorry we couldn't be there to celebrate.” he said as you shook your head softly with a small smile, “its okay, i know you guys were out celebrating out there,” you said with a giggle as they all joined in, “Well we talk about uh.. about moving to LA and i've been considering it, but at first i didn't want to decide alone because well i didn't want to leave home but uh, what i'm trying to say is that basically..” you said pausing as cal spoke, “you're moving to LA.” he said as you looked at him with a sorry look and nodded looking at the rest of the guys. There was a slight pause but that was because the guys were processing this whole situation, you were moving away and that was okay as long as you were happy.

“Im sorry, if this is gonna ruin our friendship, but i feel like i need to go there. Things are good here, but LA is where I can grow and become better.” you said as they all shook their heads, “don’t apologize y/n, how many times have we left you? You didn't stop us, you empowered us to keep our heads up which is what we will do for you.” Ash said as Michael nodded, “as much as it hurts seeing you leave, we know they need you over there, our friendship isn't over, in fact it will grow. We might even create music together.” he said as you smiled and looked over at luke, “it's not the end is all i know, it's a beginning for all of us. I mean who knows we might all be in LA soon, so you won't be alone. We're here for you y/n we always will be. '' he said as you looked over at Calum who had a sad look, but he was happy deep down inside, but he couldn't believe that even more distance would separate you two.

“Cal?” you asked as he looked at you in a certain way and you looked at the guys to give you two some personal space and they nodded and left. You took one look at Cal and knew something was wrong the minute you spoke about LA. For you two him leaving was enough distance between you two, now he knew what you felt when he was leaving, but this time you were leaving for good.

“What's wrong cal?” you asked as he looked at you, this was his time he knew it, it was time despite the bad timing, “this is probably bad timing, but... i love you, i've always been in love with you.” he said as you looked at him in seriousness. You didn't know if this was him wanting you to stay or if these were his true feelings, but you felt your heart beating faster and felt it get warm as your eyes were on him.

“Wait what?” you asked as he looked over at you, “i'm in love with you dovey, always have been. I'm not telling you this to make you stay, I just needed you to know is all.. I just need you to know before you leave,” he said as you looked at him and your eye contact was firm, “what..what do you mean years?” you asked as he grabbed your hands and you didn't pull away. He knew this was a sign, “since we first met there was something about you that just pulled me in, it was everything about you, there wasn't one bad thing about you, i just can't stand keeping it in, i need you more than just a friend.” he said as you were nervous with what you were about to say next, “cal.. I'm in love with you too.” you said in a whisper as he looked up quickly hoping he had heard you right.

“You- really?” he said as you pulled him in for a kiss. Your lips had connected in need for one another's touch after years of thinking one another saw each other as friends. This moment that the both of you had dreamed of was happening. His hands were all over your waist as they traveled up to your cheek and yours were on his jaw and hair. Once the kiss broke you both stared into one another's eyes and you smiled, “i love you.” you said again as cal smiled and took you in for a kiss once again and this was definitely the start of something new.

...

Moving to LA had its perks, mainly for your job, you had met new people and even helped out starter bands or singers with their career and sending them off with a great bang. You have also been working with big time singers and bands and helping them out with some new sound. You were given some new material and had even created some for a band that your boss said would be coming in and wanting some sort of new sound for their album. You wondered who they were not knowing what band it was. All you were told was that they were working on their 3rd album and needed some help.

As you waited for their arrival you texted Cal to see how he was doing. Ever since you two started dating, texting around the day and being near your phone as a must. He missed you dearly and you missed him, so the small messages around the day helped. He also came over from time to time, but not a whole lot.

You were quick to get into the room and you were shocked with who was in front of you. Cal was in front of you and you were quick to run over to him and hug him tight. You gave each other a small peck as you enjoyed one another's company, “what? How and when?” you said as you heard someone cough as you turned around and saw the 3 other boys standing in front of you. “What are you guys doing here?” you said with a smile as you hugged them all in a group hug, you sure missed them after not seeing them for a year. “Well we are here to work on our album, we heard there's an amazing producer here.” Michael spoke and it hit you with the realization that it was them you were working with. “Wait seriously, you want my help? But I thought you were in europe?” you said as luke nodded, “yeah we were there a couple days ago, but we need your help. The album is going great but we still need more sounds and samples.” he said as you nodded, “well okay i can help you with that, but are you sure you want my help?” you said as cal grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him as the boys nodded, “yes we need your help, you know us better than anyone, and well you are the best in LA,” ash said as you smiled, “okay yeah i'll help.” you said looking at everyone and over at cal with a smile.

Before working you all hung out for a while and to also see the vibe they were wanting to find. You were just over the moon that they were here, you had missed them so much and just needed to see your friends again and of course your boyfriend. You were looking through lots of new material the whole day just to see what they like and seeing if you could place it all together and get them something they want so they can start with recording.

“These samples are all good, you could make something with that, but just, we want it simple yet complex.” Michael said as you nodded, “yeah for sure, I should have some stuff in here,” you said as Luke nodded, “yeah also if you want to, we have the lyrics set for these songs,” he said as he handed you the files with the lyrics. The songs titles in here were moving along, more, monsters among men, and one that was titled valentine but that one had no lyrics, “this one doesn't have lyrics? You're making a song about valentines day?” you said pointing it out as ash nodded, “well yeah, it's in a couple days and we were all thinking about how many people were going to make a song and release it as well, we want to make our own version of mariah carey’s all i want for christmas but with valentine's day.” he explained as you nodded. You then walked over to the computer remembering these two samples that were perfect for this song, “that's funny because i have this sample, well i have two actually,” you said clicking through and finding them both and laying them out in repeat as the boys all stood behind you watching you do your thing.

“Okay the first one is just a, “dum, dum, dum, dum, um.” over and over, and the second one is just, “valentine,” over and over again as well, but if you were to place it on top of one antoher..you get this.” you said as they all gave it a hear and it was so uncanny but perfect, the lyrics were already flowing in.

The guys were all happy with there they left things off leaving you to rest and of course spend time with cal. You two were walking out hand in hand into your car, you were heading over to the drivers side but he followed you and you looked up confused, “you wanna drive?” you asked as he took your keys and smiled, “yeah, i've got a surprise actually, so i was hoping we could make a stop there.” he said as you nodded, “okay cal..just don't kill me or anything.” you joked as you got on the other side of the car, “ dovey i would never kill you, i would probably kill for you though,” he said as you scrunch your nose and you had reached over for a kiss before leaving.

On your way there his hand was near yours, the most he missed about you was your touch and he just needed a part of you touching him making him feel safe. Ever since you left he had missed you dearly and well of course duke. You couldn't see duke as much which sucked, but you knew that you would see him soon whenever it was your turn to go to visit.

Once you made the stop, you were parked in front of a house, “who lives here?” you asked as he got out to open your side of the door and you two walked over to the front of the house as he held you in his arms hoping you could guess. “Well it's definitely someone,” he said as you frowned as you headed near the door, once the door was opened you saw duke run over to you as you kneeled down greeting the puppy and even picking him up missing the pup’s barks and kisses, you then looked inside the house. You had seen all of cal’s things and then it hit you. “You? You live here?” you said with a smile as he nodded with a smile, “yeah i do, i wanted to be closer to you and I know this is probably way too fast, but i love you so much and I just can't live without you, you are everything to me and i want you to know that i have no regrets and i will never have any,” he said as you started tearing up and smiled at him as you couldn't believe that the distance between you two was finally over.

“You did this for me?” you asked quietly as he nodded softly, “well i'm not gonna lie this is very surprising but im happy, i miss you everyday and this changes that..but what about your parents?” you asked as he sighed, “actually dovey, they were the ones who convinced me to move over here. They saw how much i missed you, i didn't even leave the house i just want to be with you and well they knew i had to move...look if this isn't what you want then-” he said as you cut him of quick, “no, stop, this is what i want, i just want you to be sure cal,” you said as he walked over to you and kissed you as he held you in his arms and had placed your hands near his heart, “dovey i already told you, no regrets. This heart beats for you only. I want this, not just for me but for us.” he said as you smiled and just knew this had to happen.

“Also i want you to live here with me, i wanna wake up with you and fall asleep by your side, i can't stand being away from you dovey,” he said as you smiled and nodded, “of course i will, you're everything to me.” you said as you kissed once again. This was meant to be. It was the beginning. There were no regrets on either side, you were all in. you and him are soulmates, it just took a while to settle.

[trashytoastboi]

Hello there! I've just seen your post about Modern celebrity AU with Law, X-Drake and Sabo. Can you do the same with Ace, Luffy, Garp and Dragon, please? ^^

Heyya!🍀 of course! Super sorry for the long wait on this! Hope you enjoy ^.^

Headcanons: Modern AU! Ace, Luffy, Garp, Dragon as celebrities

Portgas D. Ace

🔥Musician, actor and athlete

🔥His initial fame came with a recognition of his physical prowess and athletic ability. Due to that, he just happened to star in a movie that required singing. From that his popularity sky rocketed as someone who could do it all.

🔥Outside of his usual activities and various projects, Ace just prefers to spend time with his brothers and his father figure, Edward Newgate. If he isn't with them, Ace can be found travelling to various places and eating food from all over the world.

🔥He is a complete sweetheart when interacting with his fans. Absolutely loves when people talk to him, is genuinely invested in conversation and learning more about people. Even if they are complete strangers.

🔥A very harsh scandal that Ace was involved in was the discovery of his biological father, especially being noted as one of the notorious criminals in history. It was the type of attention that Ace hated.

🔥Unfortunate downside of being famous, ones life is constantly in the public view. And when Ace had gotten drunk, started to run around in all his naked glory... it was immortalized in the form of photos and YouTube videos. He wanted to die from embarrassment and a raging hangover.

🔥 Always goes incognito to go see his brothers. However when you consider the fact that both of his brothers are famous as well, 9/10 times their secret meetups will always be discovered and bombarded.

🔥A lesson he likes to bestow upon people is the fact that blood does not define your family, nor does your blood define who you should be.

Monkey D. Luffy

🍖Trouble maker, Vlogger, YouTuber and Competitive eater

🍖Luffy's fame was a bit more abstract in the way it came about. He entered competition's for free food and prize money was simply a bonus. He was out eating any challenges that restaurants could throw at him and started using that popularity to eat even more. Nami had an idea to make money off of Luffy as his agent and began filming his feats of ravenous hunger for YouTube.

🍖Honestly does not think that his life has changed that much. He still goes about his normal everyday activities, but is constantly surprised by how many people know him.

🍖Luffy is incredibly friendly and easy to approach. He feels like another friend you've known for ages, and is more than happy to interact with anyone who wants to meet him. Just don't try to separate him from his food, that is a big no no.

🍖Once upon a time there was a lot of drama swirling around Luffy. His social media accounts got hacked by someone who posed as Straw Hat Luffy and used his platforms to maliciously troll other people. Many people were under the belief that Luffy was terrible until the truth got out and many apologised to the real Straw Hat.

🍖Tends to forget the fact that he is famous. His idiotic whims never cease to surprise people. He is simply trying to live his best life.

🍖Honestly sees no reason for disguises and low profile. He still sees absolutely no reason even though his friends and brothers have a tendency to insist on it.

🍖"You may have family, friends, allies and enemies. But you must always have your own back as well. Be kind to yourself. Follow your dreams."

Monkey D. Garp

👊Famous for things he has done as a law enforcement officer. He is famous to the point of there have been books and movies based off of him.

👊He took down the entire Rocks crime syndicate with the help of Gol D. Roger. Despite his long list of achievements, he refuses promotion and chooses to stay at the training academy, helping the new recruits along.

👊 Garp never changed even after the fame and chooses to spend his days either training the next generation or visiting his grandsons.

👊 Doesn't believe that he has fans and truly just strives to do the right thing. He says he never needs to be thanked for that. He can act on his whims and depending on the day is how he interacts with his 'fans'

👊One of the most scandalous things that threatened to hurt his reputation was the discovery that Garps biological son was in fact someone branded as a villain to the world government.

👊 Constantly makes bold fashion statements and wore a comical dog's head over his uniform. Everyone assumed he was some kind of mascot until the discovery he was in fact that famous hero

👊Never goes incognito unless he is stalking his grandchildren and making sure they are behaving and making good life decisions.

👊Teaches people to be faithful to themselves, their family - whoever it may be. And to always be strong, standing up for what is right to them.

Monkey D. Dragon

🌩Elusive criminal and shadow organization elite who fights against the indoctrination of the World Government

🌩Was part of law enforcement in his past, but after seeing the true nature and inner workings of the government. He found them shadowy and indecent, accepting money and deals over the concern of people. He left the government to fight against the "laws" that upholds society.

🌩 Due to the path he has chosen, it is a constant life of hide and seek, he works to help anyone in need and anyone who suffers under the oppressive nature of the government. He advocates for charities and human rights organizations. Plus acting as a father figure to the children he "adopts".

🌩There is absolutely no interaction with "fans" he cannot risk being caught after all.

🌩 This man is his own scandal

🌩 Was secretly stalking his son Luffy alongside Sabo, when he saw some random fangirls and paparazzi ambush him, Sabo and Dragon did not take it well.

🌩 Is there ever a moment when Dragon is not the living incarnation of incognito

🌩 Teaches people that no matter who you stand against, if you take up the fight for something. See it through.

[hxneydreamers]

Hello dear ! I have read your blogs. You are amazing !!!! (10000x 💞 for you ). I wanted to ask a question . Neville goddard said that time doesn't really exist in manifesting . So actually my sp who is celebrity is very very older than me . Like we have a age gap of 12 years. 😥 as said i am minor. I decided to manifest him when i am 18 . But sometimes i get impatient but then i feel a bit upset and it's not legal to date a minor. Plus he lives in korea . As i have indian parents they never will allow me to even fly to korea. And even if we get in a relationship . They will never like him. Tho my mother is into the group (he is in a group ) she won't ever. As being in india , india is pathetic country with bs Trash . They ( the group is seen as bunch of gays) and most hurting thing is lgbtq is not accepted in this fuking country . Ppl tread them as trash not human. They get so much discrimination ( most of them are transgender ) and hate . Like they have to live together because thier parents disown them and stuff. Makeup is gender less. But in this country men have to be men. like all the fking indian celebrity don't ever wear makeup (males) . (Not gonna lie they all don't even have clear skin like korean ) Skin care is not menly . Men shouldn't do it. The mentally in this country is fucked up.

Now back to the topic.

- how my parents will judge him ? (Most my papa because mom knows a lot about korean cultural but she won't stand with me including some mfs relatives who judgemental af . Relatives ohh my these bishs are hella judgement (most the old one) doesn't matter how they themselves look or personality )

- is he gay ? Why he so feminine ? He is uses makeup damn sure he is gay or somthing he is a girl for sure !!

Doesn't matter how successfully he is and his personality . Doesn't matter how much more he is successful more than you. (Relatives and parent) don't matter if loves your beautiful daughter. doesn't fuken matter if he is caring and financial stable.

- as i minor they won't let me go to even study in korea !

- tbh my plans are to skip 12 or 10 grade (i am in 8 th grade now) and study in korean university as it's one of my dream. Then work as cosmologist here . I want to to have family here.

But but but

My parents hahah never i even asked them they even made fun of my dreams and they said it's gonna take 20 years to reach there .

I am extremely discouraged .

Then on the other hand i also want to desire body before everything happens . Like going to korea and stuff.

I suck at affirming and visualizing . I habe never got results from scripting.

Plus i got my school too. Omg also learning korean too.

Omg i am so done !! 😭 please help me and guide me. And advice me ! i am extremely sorry for my bad english . I am not a native.

Everything is so hard

Hey! Thank you so so so much for reaching out to me! I really appreciate you coming to me for advice! Don’t worry, your English was fine!

*I'm going to begin this post by clarifying that whilst it is possible for you to manifest anything in your reality, I do not encourage you manifesting this person if you are underage and they are much older. You have said in your question that you will not manifest them until you are 18, which is good, however I will just make it clear that this post is to help you manifest the other circumstances in your reality, and not the person or the age gap.*

Let me start by telling you I obviously haven’t experienced this as intensely as you have as I live in a country where people are much more open-minded about sexuality and ideas of masculinity, but I have stories to share with you from my own life that are very similar to what you want to manifest! They might encourage you! (PS, these following stories all took place from when I was at the age of 19 and up.)

(This story is before I knew about manifesting). My parents are very strict and traditional and I always wanted to go overseas to study in a specific country for at least a few months. My parents forbid it and I never would have been allowed to go, but I wanted it so badly that it was all I thought about and dreamed about! I started watching a TV show set in that country every single day. I even learned the language for fun. I somehow manifested it, because the next year, I took a semester off university and I went to that country for 3 months to live. So no matter what your parents say, you can 100% manifest this.

I had a celebrity crush in that country and I wanted to meet him and be with him SO BADLY! I didn’t know about manifesting until afterwards unfortunately, but guess what? I manifested seeing him MULTIPLE TIMES on the street, because I constantly thought about seeing him there and bumping into him! I even messaged him once and he responded. I also had one of his best friends on snapchat because I met him when I was there lol. I never got the celebrity crush because I focused too much on negative things. If I knew about manifesting, I would have gotten what I wanted.

My (specific person) SP who I am currently dating is actually someone who my parents also didn’t approve of for a long time because of sexuality and he is not stereotypically masculine! They also kept telling me negative things. The good news is that now my parents accept him and are happy for us!

Thank you for giving me the background information on your circumstances, it helps me understand your situation much better, and it also shows me how you’re thinking about the situation as well, which is the most important thing.

The beliefs you have are these:

Parents and other people not approving of the kind of people you are interested in.

You don’t think you can go to Korea for a long time

I’m happy to tell you that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS SITUATION!

As I said in the beginning, the age gap is illegal and should not be manifested. So as a result, you should begin with your beliefs about your family's negative opinions and your ability to travel in the future.

You need to stop mentally reacting to what they say when it’s negative about men who are not stereotypically masculine etc, and also when they say negative things about you ever traveling. They are only saying these things because in your mind you believe this to be true. Reality is an illusion and you need to know that if you really push through and persist, even if it feels extremely difficult, you can change this!

You should start by affirming your self-concept, something like this (you can also affirm in your own language if you prefer so it's natural to you :) whatever is comfortable for you!)

I am capable of anything!

I am a master at manifesting!

I always get what I want easily and effortlessly!

Everything always works out how I want!

Then I want you to affirm for your circumstances:

My family is always extremely accepting and encouraging!

I’m so happy that I’m going to Korea!

If you find it hard to visualise you can just affirm. I know you may feel like you’re bad at it, but if you practice it will get easier. Set a timer for 5 minutes and say your affirmations over and over! Make sure you don’t have any distractions. Focus on them. Do this several times a day, every day.

Also, if you can get the app ‘ThinkUp’ record yourself saying your strongest affirmations, and listen to them at night when you sleep. Start with your self-concept affirmations only for maybe 2 weeks! Then you can add your other affirmations.

Your goal is to change the way you feel and think about yourself and what you are able to do, your surroundings and your family’s opinions. Start with these things. Really persist in them.

I hope this helps in some way! If you ever need to reach out to anyone, so many people on Tumblr in the manifesting community are here to listen! We all want each other to succeed and I know that if you put the work in to do this, you will too!!

I also recommend you start binge-watching one of these youtube channels:

Sammy Ingram

Manifesting With Kimberly

Manifesting Secrets

Dylan James

Create Your Future

YOU CAN DO THIS <3

[moonprincessdiviniation]

Kun As A Boyfriend

Date read and posted: November 4th, 2020

Just by this gif, this man is a major goofball 😂😂 we love to see. I'm excited to see what his boyfriend energy is like 🥰 I hope you enjoy!

*DISCLAIMER: readings for kpop/celebrities/musicians/ YouTubers are just for fun and hold no fact.*

What type of boyfriend is Kun?

Page of Swords, Death, The World, The Lovers, 9 of Wands, 2 of Cups (Extra card!!)

The sarcastic, mischievous and playful type. You made his plate for lunch? Great. What'd you do to it? 👀 Is there mustard in the mashed potatoes? 👀 Are the sausages really plastic? 👀 He's watching you. Trust that if he's with you, everything he's doing with you is all brand new. We're all guilty of taking our partners to a local spot we've taken an ex. Hey, the fries are bomb okay? But with Kun it's different, he's different. He believes that everything with his partner should be new because they're new. If he goes to a place he's visited before, it's because you suggested going there, not because he did. So much traveling! Not necessarily plane rides or trips that extravagant, although they're nice too. But just trips to new places, locations you've both been curious about. That national park that's an hour drive away? Sure, let's go. The cinema that just opened a few weeks ago? You're going! It's just new places, new things, not necessarily big trips. He doesn't show it, but he's a big softie. Will literally be so soft with you if you let him show it 🥺 he's really clumsy with his words and actions, so have patience while he's learning. Kun isn't the greatest with relationships, he doesn't know a lot about how to do things properly. He gets too in his head, too much time gets put into the wrong things. But he really loves trying and loves getting to practice with you.

What kind of love does he show?

6 of Wands, 3 of Wands, 6 of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, The Chariot and Page of Cups for bottom deck energy

He's an "actions speak louder than words" type of boyfriend. So if he doesn't know what to do or how to treat you, he'll show you. Those chores that you usually do? He'll take care of them if he messed up earlier. You've got a headache and the pills are taking too long to kick in? He'll rub your head and neck for you till they do. He's a big planner, likes thinking ahead for your dates and down time. Do you have an anniversary coming up? Birthday? Odds are he's concerning himself with it way before the time comes. If you're with him, he's treating you like you're already his family. He doesn't just want to date you, he wants to build a home with you. So he's going to let his guard down with you and really show his vulnerable points. He has the kind of love where he not only cares for himself, but he cares for you too. I worded that poorly let me fix TT-TT He's not just concerned about his emotional, mental and physical health, he's worried about yours too. "Did you eat? Have you taken a break? How are you doing? No, like really, how are you?" Genuinely cares for you. His love is the type that makes you grow and helps you along your path. Kun wants you to get better, progress further, he's your cheerleader and motivational coach all in one. Overall his love is good vibes, nothing but good energy for you and his life.

How does he show it?

The Fates, Message In A Bottle, Soulmates, Mending and Come To The Edge for bottom deck energy

The way he shows his love is a healthy dose of hopeless romantic and help within every day tasks. He's neither one nor the other, but a combination of the two. Kun believes that if you're together, it's for a reason. So he treats every relationship with the same level of care and respect because he knows he has something to learn. A smart bb Kun leaves you messages of support, sweet nothings or just ways to show he's thinking of you. Is this his tenth message about how this meeting is boring? Sure. But it means something to know that he trusts you enough to know that... repeatedly.... within the last hour. It comes in the form of "I'm hungry, have you eaten yet? Wanna eat together? Remember when you woke up with this hair? **Insert photo here**" He's always keeping an open flow of communication with you and it's because it's how he shows his love. Regardless if you are or aren't, he's going to treat you with the same care he'd treat his soulmate. A genuine, loving, emphatic relationship that has growth for both. You are his everything, even if it's only for this month. You know those boyfriends who are like "I could build that. I could fix it." But they never actually do, or they do and it's not nearly as good? Kun is this boyfriend 😂 but I get the feeling that he does actually know a little something something about it. So if the plumbing is shit, he's going to fix it. The TV broke? He's going to try a couple things before buying a new one. You burnt your hand while cooking? He'll patch you up because he wants you to know that he cares. But at his core all he really needs you to see is that he's showing you all of this and it's outside his comfort zone. Baring your soul like this, like he does, is nothing he's used to. So let him know you appreciate it, cause he likes hearing that he's doing really well.

What will he learn?

Inner Temple, Imrama, Play, Dance With Life and Birthing A New Age for bottom deck energy

During his time within relationships he'll learn how to open his heart to people. He's not the greatest at doing that, but he's learning more and more how to get better with every relationship. With Kun it's really "I live so I love" he's constantly learning, growing and becoming a better person. But he finds he really learns more about himself when he's with someone. Which is actually really poetic and deep when you think about it, I might have to stan this man He understands that he can't fully grow into a better person without growing from that aspect too. Kun doesn't know that life isn't just work, work, work and being in a relationship really reminds him of that. It allows him to enjoy the fun in life and let's him relax, find other joys aside from work. He'll also learn to add things into his life that he's missing currently. Kun will learn that while routine is nice, you don't have to live your life in one. Being in a relationship will really enhance and strengthen his energy and knowledge. He'll find that because he changes it also changes the others around him too.

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Tilli

Hello, dear!~ MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I miss you too a lot! I'm happy that you finally open your submission, because I've a lot I want to say you!~

My work is great. Children are fine, luckily. There is just two days left and after I'll have a New Year's break. I hope that your party is also great and you're fine! Good luck with everything. 

Omg, I completely understand this feeling when you should do everything by yourself. It's so difficult and stressful... But you're strong! I believe in you!~ Tell me tomorrow how your party went! I'm very curious!

Yes, my health is better now, but I still quite tired and want to have the New Year break! Btw, about BTS! I watch some shows with BTS (I watch BTS Run! now) in the lasе few days. And it's so fun and relaxing, omg. Thank you for your recommendations, really. But I'm still shocked by Korean media and K-POP fans, though... Like this feeling when you just want to find some shows translations and songs, but first thing which you find is something like the colour of underwear of one of the members or who's dating who according to dispatch. Omg, guys, really? I don't interesting of something like someone's underwear...

Yes, I rode a horse for 3 years, but stopped because of injury. But yes, it was fun and I want to continue it now, when the situation of COVID will become better. About dance: I did Zumba, pole dance, jazz funk, ballroom dancing, dance mix. I also want to do twerk, go-go, reggaeton or cover dance. About foreign languages: I study english and japanese by myself now, but I also know german and russian, of course. I also want to know Chinese or Korean and maybe one more European language.

Omg, thank you so much for such a kind words. It melted my heart! But I'm sure that you'll become amazing manager too! 

Nice plans! I want just nothing to do during my New Year break. x) And good luck with your exams!~ 

Omg, thank you so much! Unfortunately, I still feel that I'm not able to write something, but I'm happy that you like it! Btw, english isn't your first language too? O, and I'll support you if you'll start your BTS blog because I already know a little now. ^*^ Just write everything you want!

Ok, so I'll send you a new Inarizaki request tomorrow? I also sent you the photo of my hair but write me, please, if you didn't get it. I also fine, what about you? 

Btw, have you some favourite BTS shows? 

Love you a lot!~

---

HI TILLI BAE 💖💖💖💖💖💖

I'm so glad, after seeing your submissions I was so happy, because I had missed them so much!! Also, merry Christmas Eve, my love!! 💖💖 I know you will celebrate it again in January, but I've a small gift for you :D

Here's a drawing I made of you and Atsumu!! 💖💖 You asked him to wear the reindeer ears for Christmas, and since he loves you so much, he couldn't say no ;P

I'm glad to hear that!! I am waiting for you to be on break :D we can talk more then!! Thank you so much 👉👈 it's a bit stressful since no one is responding but I'm doing fine on my own hehe :> thanks for your motivation and support!! I'll definitely tell you how it goes!! We have 45 people who have signed up so far haha, which is pretty good :D I hope more do soon too, because the more people, the better, right? ^-^

Dispatch is so annoying 😭😭 they don't give ANYONE space!! They're like so addicted to gossip and oversharing about the idols' lives smh :c but I'm so so happy to know you've started run BTS!! I LOVEEEEE WATCHING IT TOO!! which episode are you on?? Which is your favourite?? Who's your favourite member?? :D my favourite is 85 hehe, they're in a water park in that episode and it's very cute >.< They have something called Bon Voyage too! Where BTS travels to different places during different seasons, and they're very cute when they're traveling haha. It's also interesting to see where they go, like Europe, Maldives, etc. I'm glad you like it!! They're very precious, and so are you!! Especially you 💖💖💖

Aww I see!! But yes it'd be so fun to start again I wish you all the best :D what'd you name a horse, if you could have one? Wow that's so cool!! I only know Zumba, hip hop and ballet, but wow pole dancing and ballroom dancing sounds so cool!! 😚😚✨ And it's very impressive how many languages you know!! I only know three, but I'm slowly on my way to study French and Korean hehe.i have many friends here who speak Chinese, so although I don't know how to speak it with the proper pronunciation, I can understand a little bit, because they speak it very often.

Imagine if we could be co-managers. I wanna write a fic about this when I have time!! Maybe for new years hehe, or after my exams!! And thank you :D

It's okay!! Take your time and do anything you want too <3 I'll always be here to support you no matter what 😚👉👈 yep!! It's my first language, so I'm confident speaking and writing it, but that's also bad because I'm not so good at learning other languages because I'm too comfortable with English haha 😅😅 but I'm working on it :] and thank you!! I really hope I will have the time :(

Yes!! Definitely!! I'm probably gonna post it all at once as soon as my Christmas event is over 💖💖 thank you for all your requests, they brighten up my day so much and I can't begin to thank you enough 😚😣✨✨✨ I SAW IT!! your hair is so beautiful, I love the highlights <3 I have used the picture as a reference to draw my picture for your Christmas gift, I hope you liked it? 💖💖💖

Yes! My favourite is Bon Voyage actually, and It's bon voyage season 4 specifically, when they go to New Zealand... I also LOVEEEEE American Hustle life. This is a show about them when they were super young, and I think it's my ultimate FAVOURITE, because they were so cute when they were younger (they still are!) But it's just so cute to see hehe (jungkook was only 16 in American Hustle life haha). There's also special website to watch bon voyage videos :D I'll find the link and send it to you in my next reply ✨💖 but American Hustle life can be found on YouTube.

I LOVE YOU MORE!! Tilli you make me so very happy, I hope you stay happy always too 💖💖⭐

[westernchords]

2020: a replay & reflection

so... here we are at the near end of a very long, unsettling & strange year. and at this particular moment in time, spotify has released its 2020 wrapped feature, an annual highlight for gay people everywhere (self VERY included). since the world is very large & this is a personal blog with a limited scope, i'll talk about what i know best: the view from my corner of the musical world.

i only had two songs in common with any previous year -- i wish i missed my ex by mahalia & sugar by brockhampton (... i know, the heartache is loud already,)

4 unique rain asmr audios made it into my top 15 (they help me sleep lolol)

show tunes was my #4 most listened to genre and yet not a single one made it into my top 100. (i'm pretty sure it was all of my late night waitress sing alongs)

i discovered 1,012 new artists and 162 new genres

all very fun and interesting things! however, in looking at this year, there are two things to discuss that are most important: the amount of time i spent listening to music (111,989 minutes) and my top song, fake mona lisa. let's discuss both.

on time: in short, music means a lot to me. in long, i mean that music has been central to my life for as long as i can remember. i think of my church choir and my mother singing eartha kitt and corrine bailey rae in the kitchen, my father's surprise talents at piano when he would play in chapel, and how i like to make up little ditties to sing for my dog or while i cook or to solely entertain myself. if one was to take a look at my journals, each entry is annotated with the song i was listening to or suited my mood at the time i was writing. at any moment, i am capable of revisiting the emotional landscape of old memories all set to the very soundtrack that holds that particular past closest.

i still remember plucking violin strings at 5, how i used to stack music books so i could sit up straight on my piano bench because i was too short at 7, picking up woodwinds in highschool and letting my best friend act as conductor, and now, singing endlessly- day in and day out, because it makes me feel like i am traveling home. i think of creole folk songs that connect me to my family, my diaspora. i remember the favorite songs and artists of people i don't know anymore, but still. it stays with me. my friend cj says i have a great emotional sensitivity to music, but more so, music simply connects to every cornerstone of who i am. the creation of it, the listening, the love of it. the constancy.

music is integral to my daily routine and life. since i was 13, maybe younger, i have always believed that the first song i hear in a day sets the tone so i always try to play something i love and makes me feel joyful to start off on the right foot. i will do this my entire life. every day is permeated by sound and the data shows it. 111,989 minutes is almost 3 months straight. this doesn't even count soundcloud listens or youtube tracks or music i play on my own. this felt fitting. music, this year in particular, has been a salve to both new and old hurt. and maybe i am picking at my scabs, but 2020 has amplified so much anger and shame and fear and despite that, there is so much joy in art. music is a balm for the world, it is poetry in its own right.

on fake mona lisa: so .. i am kind of obsessed with this song. fifteen hours worth of listening, i text my friends i'll join the video call soon - i just need one more replay, i got high and played this song while lying in the middle of a meadow and experienced more emotions than i had had in a very long time, my friends lovingly tease me about it so it's sort of like a character trait now, kind of obsessed. my turning to this song was the sort of romance that i didn't anticipate, but fell very hard into and, if you know me, you know that's my favorite kind. let's get into why: when dedicated side b came out, i was heartbroken. there's really no other way to put it. i was alone, back in my childhood bedroom, and harboring a reopened wound from past relationships that maybe had never closed in the first place. i was in this strange, melancholic knee-deep-in-emotions place & if you're an avid CRJ fan, you recognize that's a place she knows and sings about well.

as a song, fake mona lisa tends to be one of carly's more lyrically opaque tracks. which is fine, i'm a storyteller at heart, i'll craft my own narrative. (and honestly, there wasn't much legwork here.) without doing a full blown analysis, here are pieces that i find important to note about the song lyrically and resonate most with me -- big or small.

(transcription at bottom)

what i'm basically saying is that this song is about risk and young love and sex. its about secrets, cheap thrills, fast & easy desires, and the fantastical euphoria of a dead-end-but-still-fun “we're young so what's the matter,“ relationship. (very reminiscent of LA hallucinations, imo) and to me, someone who has been in and out of this same subset of emotional affairs, fake mona lisa stuck with me. vegas is a city of high risk, high reward- where else to chase that superficial, unattainable someone? more so, the song gives you the understanding that the relationship doesn't last, but that was not what carly ever truly wanted out of it. fake mona lisa is, at its core, about over indulgence in pleasure as a stand in for actual love + commitment, something i am oft to do myself & only did more of after dedicated side b dropped. i latched onto the slow and simmering exposition into glittery pre-chorus, starlit imagery, shiny-faraway vocals, and frankly, there was no competition for my song of the year. the song is a dream. i love it and i know what that says about me, but i stand by it. 

dedicated side b, especially fake mona lisa, carried me through the healing process of heartbreaks that crystallized into many other things- indulgence, desire, risk, short lived romances, secrets, joy, kisses i should've kept to myself, spontaneous dance breaks, tears, etc., it is an album about love, recovery, and returning to the self. fake mona lisa is just my favorite stop on a long train ride to an okay-ness with aspects of romance (both with the self and others) that i am still figuring out the messy, rose-tinted, contours of.

and sonically? i just adore the key of d minor.

as a last touch point, fake mona lisa was only the tip of the iceberg of songs  i obsessed over about not-exactly-ideal romances. again and again and again, heartbreak anthems appeared in my top 100, a deviation from my typical warmth towards romantic sentiments that appeared in past years. instead, there is a sense of love-at-a-distance, a painting yourself as the object of desire, a severed attachment, a not wanting to commit at all (see let's be friends, heartbeat, want you in my room, all by crj ... all appearing on the list.) however, much of what appeared celebrated love and having tremendous, special, struck by cupid, feelings. it's all there. what i'm saying is that carly rae jepsen writes music for lovestruck people- both lucky and not so much, hopeless or hopeful -- you name it. she writes about how you can fall in love with almost anyone, soundtracks for the highs of the first throes of intimacy, the first (and last) kiss, the shared moments between two people when they are each other's whole world, and the palpable distance of heartache, separation, and the landscape between. 

she writes as though she is both eros and psyche, armed with arrows of cascading melodies, tipped with a salve for suppressing+healing+amplifying heartbreak, and lyrics so intimate and dreamy, you really can't help but believe in love with the way she speaks of it. love is a venture from shame, a fantasy that is more real than anything else, tender and kind, pleasurable, and escapable into. the world is better in it, the world is better because of it. in carly rae jepsen's discography, love is the defining pillar of experience. a northern star and guiding principle. it is the only thing, no matter what form. & frankly? i cant help but agree.

as a final note, in hanif wills-abdurraqib's emotion review for MTV, carly rae jepsen's public displays of affection, he says this:

thats all for now. bye 2020.

- august

///

transcription of my notes:

verse 1:

city/star light imagery

i am known for wearing a star stamp on my cheek

infatuation & attraction

paints a photo of a starlet and her lover, a fair weather affair

pre-chorus:

always waiting fro a chance the object of desire

a high from love, addictive pleasures

chorus:

sex & art & risk taking (art synonymous with beauty. + seduction)

she knows she cant handle this in a real way, but wants it

desire vs/& (in conjunction with) pain

verse 2:

an idealistic worldview, hoping for the best, always somewhere else not present. 

dreamy lyrics + dreamy state of mind, cloudy even.

specifically the words fake mona lisa:

contrast, beautiful yet fully acknowledged to be unreal/superficial

a stand in for “real art“ aka “real love“