#don't think i ever actually met the requirements to be diagnosed with an ed)

[birbtails]

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[servin-up-surveys]

survey #099

(taken january 7th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Assuming you have a Facebook, who’s the last person you added? My niece Delia.

Assuming you have a cell phone, what was the last thing you used it for? Checking Instagram.

Describe your purse or bag in ten words: Black, leather, studded, skull-embossed, small, thin, textured, uh... that's all I can think of.

Are you friends with your brother’s girlfriend: They're engaged so she's more than that to him, but not technically. We have each other on Facebook and it's not awkward to interact or anything, especially because she WANTS to make family so important, but we've never actually met and haven't spoken much. She seems absolutely lovely though and is such a good mom to Christian (who's not even hers, but that's her son) and Asher. I relate to her because she's so convinced she's not good enough.

Have you taken the 5,000 question survey? I've seen it but haven't because the vast majority of the questions were insufferably dumb.

What is it that attracts you to your boyfriend? He makes me feel valued and like I matter and am capable of anything I put my mind to.

What’s your favorite filling in chocolates? Maybe caramel, or peanut butter.

Does your best friend have any phobias? I'm sure he does, but I'm not sure. He doesn't like scary games while otherwise being a massive gamer, but I don't think that qualifies as a "phobia." I know he's a bit uncomfortable with snakes too, he still hasn't touched Venus, but again it doesn't seem like a phobia, but rather a bit of discomfort from common misinformation and ignorance.

What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Chihuahuas. I say that while having one, lol.

What’s the last picture you colored? One that I drew.

What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? I specifically remember in the 4th grade, where we didn't go into actual details of reproduction, I asked if you had to be with a boy to get pregnant. The teacher told me I'd learn next year.

What’s the first instrument you ever played? The recorder in elementary school.

Would you ever eat rhino meat? I would starve before I put a critically endangered - or just endangered - animal in my mouth.

The music you listen to: Is it mostly sung by female or male vocalists? Men. It's not an intentional choice, I seem to just like more male vocalists.

Do you think it’s important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I HAVE to enjoy my job, whenever I get one. I'm very well aware that otherwise I would be unbearably depressed, I just wouldn't be able to last.

Do you require glasses/contacts to see properly? If so, which do you use? I wear glasses and have to to see even remotely decently. I also have astigmatism in one of my eyes (I can't remember which) without glasses.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn, or something else kinda androgynous. Or Day; I don't know if anyone actually is named that, but I've come to really love it as a woman's name.

What would you choose to be famous for? Photographer, I guess. Being known for dramatic wildlife shots would be extremely cool.

If you had to go on a game show, which would you choose? I guess Family Feud, I think that one is pretty fun. And I just really enjoy Steve Harvey as a host.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? No; my gender has just never mattered to me so I don't care what it is. I'm fine identifying with my biological sex.

Do you love anyone who’s name starts with A? Yes; my sister Ashley, for one, and her daughter Aubree. One of my half-sisters also has a girl named Aria, and though I barely know her, she's an absolute sunshine and I love her anyway.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? My nephew did yesterday!

Who was the last person you flirted with? I don't flirt with anyone but Girt.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? It's possible a non-professional has. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with bipolarity II as a very young teenager and I absolutely know it's visible if you spend enough time with me, so.

Is your last ex still someone you care about? Full transparency, no. I don't wish bad things for her, but I don't care about her.

Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? It's very possible, but I don't think so. I know people who have survived it.

Have you ever kissed someone that was the same sex as you? Yes.

Do you miss any of your old friends? Oh of course. It sucks that you drift away from so many people for no real reason as you grow.

Ever taken a picture kissing someone? Yes.

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but that'd be very cool.

What are the names of the neighbors to your right? I don't remember his name, but Mom does. He's helped her get heavy stuff into the house in the past.

Left? I don't know, but again, Mom does.

What was the name of the last dog you pet? Cookie.

Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? That is very, very normal for me.

What is the temperature in your city right now? At this moment my weather app says 47*F.

Ever had to get any stitches? At least twice.

The most recent staircase you went down, what did it lead to? Ashley has a good few steps leading up to her house's door.

Which major body of water do you live by? We live like, not quite two hours from the Atlantic Ocean.

Who is the last person that you took a picture with? My nieces and nephew.

What is your state most famous for? I just looked it up and there's not a real clear answer, but I know being "first in flight" is definitely one. Our mountains are also very loved and are where you're gonna find the most tourists here.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado? No and I positively NEVER want to, from ANY distance, because my heart will 200% drop out my ass.

Have you ever driven an electric car? No.

Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes? Not especially, but tornado watches aren't all that rare at the right time of year. It's pretty rare a tornado actually drops down, though.

What five words best describe your mother’s personality? Selfless, caretaker, resilient, extremely strong, and protective.

During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Cookie doesn't like thunder very much and will sometimes shake. Roman doesn't care, but he'll sometimes look out the window to watch the rain. Venus is of course entirely unaffected.

Do you like egg nog? No, it's really gross imo.

Do you like croutons in your salad? No.

When you were little, did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney, or Nickelodeon more? Disney.

If you have siblings, when was the last time you saw them? I saw Ash yesterday because Mom and I watched the kids, and I last saw Nicole less than a week ago when she was grabbing stuff to move into her new house and have dinner here.

Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? Wal-Mart is pretty much a given, usually Walgreens I think, and maybe somewhere for food. It's pretty common that I'll have SOME sort of doctor appointment, too.

How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? I don't use it.

Name a song that reminds you of an ex? "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides.

Do moths freak you out? No, I love them, especially bigger ones. I kinda want a lunar moth tattoo at some point.

Are all of your friends virgins? I am extremely doubtful I have any virgin friends.

How many piercings do you have? Six currently. I think I'm going to use some of my Christmas money for an industrial ear cartilage piercing.

Have you ever had a panic attack? More than I can count/remember. They're one of the worst things I think a human can experience.

Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad has; he's done way worse than that, before he and Mom had kids. I don't think Mom has ever mentioned doing it.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

Do you own more than one cell phone? Not that I actually use; I have an old iPhone stored somewhere with lots of old pictures, but I really should just get rid of it...

Have you ever been asked out? By Aaron, Juan, Jason, Tyler, and Girt (the first time we dated). I do remember there was a kid in elementary school, 4th grade, who asked me out obsessively, but I don't remember his name. Uhhhh I honestly feel like there were other guys who played very little parts in my life, too, but I might be wrong. MAYBE Joel did, but I don't think so.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yeah, zero shame.

If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? I hate Girt's last name and I still want it, lol. I'm not even going to hyphenate, pretty sure.

How many keys are on your key chain? Just one, to my house.

If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint? I actually plan on drawing/painting something to give Girt on Valentine's: a happy-looking male meerkat with an orange aura to represent a bright, vibrant personality, and he's gonna be smiling or nuzzling a female meerkat colored teal to recall sadness, but his orange aura is pushing her blue one away. They're contrasting colors and teal is also his favorite color, so I think he'd really like it.

What is your favorite thing about the beach? Watching the water and how powerful and mesmerizing it is.

What was your favorite meal growing up? Spaghetti.

What was your 1st alcoholic beverage? Mike's Hard Lemonade.

What is your favorite shade of yellow? Light shades, like the ones that make you think of Easter.

Do you currently have a hickey? Uh it's either gone or very very close to gone, I'd have to go to a mirror and I don't care to.

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? How old were they? My friend Baylee's birthday was yesterday. She's just a bit younger than me; I don't feel like double-checking how old she turned.

Is your best friend in a relationship? With me, yes. If you don't include my boyfriend, I don't really think I have a truly best friend.

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? It was "Whore" by In This Moment, and no, not really.

What’s the age difference between your parents? Either one or two years. I THINK one, but I might be wrong.

[phoenixonwheels]

What the hell kind of fucking dreamland do you live in where everyone can get Medicaid? I've looked into getting Medicaid, which in my state requires you to be on disability, which takes AT LEAST two years during which you have to have next to no income (because if you can work, you don't qualify) and therefore no health insurance - and IF YOU'RE LUCKY at the end of that you finally get disability and therefore qualify for Medicaid. I'd be dead before I made it through that process. Anyone who depends on medications or ongoing treatments to stay alive would be dead before they made it through that process.

Also news flash: there's a hell of a large gap between making $1000 per month and being able to afford health insurance. My health insurance is $900/month. So go ahead, figure out how someone who makes say $1200 per month can spend $900 on health insurance and still afford the deductibles and copays and then oh what, afford rent and electricity and transportation to work and groceries and all the actual expenses a person has if they want to live. I think not you fucking Ableist Pollyanna.

Also where the hell do you get off thinking doctors 1) know what the hell they’re talking about and 2) know how to diagnose rare illnesses? Because they fucking do not, as literally anyone with a rare illness will tell you. Let's oh, for example, go with just one of my diagnoses - Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It's a genetic illness. Everyone who has it has had it since birth. The average time to diagnosis from when a person starts showing symptoms is over 20 years and estimates are only 5% of people get a diagnosis in their lifetime. FIVE. PERCENT. I am the first person in my family to ever get diagnosed. With a genetic illness. It literally runs in my family, and I am still the only one with a diagnosis.

Every goddamned diagnosis I have I first figured out myself (yes I self diagnosed you Ableist asshole) and then spent ages getting myself in to to see a specialist to get a formal diagnosis. Apart from one. The EDS. That one a friend of mine who was an OT figured out, after which I oh yeah, did a bunch of research, realized she was right, and eventually with a lot of hard work got myself referred to a specialist and formally diagnosed. Not one of my diagnoses was figured out by a doctor first. I had to actively fight to get myself in front of the right specialist to get diagnosed with every serious condition I have, and if I hadn't self diagnosed first I'd be dead at this point.

For two of my conditions there are exactly three specialists in the entire country, and I had to get myself in to see one of them, and when I did they said “Oh you’re right, you do have that.” Not, “Why are you self diagnosing you hypochondriac?” Because almost all their patients reach them after first self diagnosing because DOCTORS DON’T KNOW ABOUT THESE CONDITONS.

And yet there you sit with your exactly zero knowledge and zero medical training, electing yourself judge and jury over all these chronically ill people you’ve met and deciding they’re all hypochondriacs. News flash: those people ARE ACTUALLY ILL. So take your Ableist attitude and go fuck yourself. I literally wrote this post about assholes like you. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

The number of people I have known who have pretended to be more ill/disabled than they really are: almost none.

The number of people I have known who have pretended to be less ill/disabled than they really are: almost everyone.

When people tell you they have a chronic illness/disability, believe them. Otherwise you are an Ableist asshole.